Ranma-sensei
Sorcerer
- Location
- Citrix Receiver
- Pronouns
- Weatherdependent
No, that Asuka hid in Unit Two and tried to overpower Kaworu, but didn't press the advantage surprise presented and instead monologued at him.
And,
'd
Advice and Trust [NGE]
And,
'd
- Location
- Voidbetweenstars
- Location
- Surrey
No, that Asuka hid in Unit Two and tried to overpower Kaworu, but didn't press the advantage surprise presented and instead monologued at him.
And,
Nah she actually did try to crush him immediately, she just also cursed him out while doing it.
Then he turned on his super AT field and cut off her hands while congratulating her on her sneak attack. Then he dunked her into the floor.
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Ranma-sensei
Sorcerer
- Location
- Citrix Receiver
- Pronouns
- Weatherdependent
Less talking, more crushing, is what this lacks.The Second Try said:
Asuka: (crushes Kaworu like a grape) Puny angel.
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- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
We're up to 3 pages longhand now. There will be an update tonight, damn it.
Asuka is explaining the true meaning of Christmas to Kaworu.
Presents, obviously.
Asuka is explaining the true meaning of Christmas to Kaworu.
Presents, obviously.
Always Late
Lacking in coffee, sleep, and brains
- Location
- Ohio
So... explaining Jeudeo-Christian religion to an NGE Nephilim.
This is gonna be goooood. I'mma get my camera, those kinds of psychological scars need to be documented!
- Location
- Australia, mate
Just imagine explaining the ORIGINAL fairy tales to someone like that.So... explaining Jeudeo-Christian religion to an NGE Nephilim.
This is gonna be goooood. I'mma get my camera, those kinds of psychological scars need to be documented!
Ranma-sensei
Sorcerer
- Location
- Citrix Receiver
- Pronouns
- Weatherdependent
I'd like to argue that there are hardly older written accounts of fairy tales than the various holy books. *flees in the face of Exterminatus*
The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
Relevant from my, @Miffychan , @DocMatoi and @Susano 's AdEva game:
"Yeah, happy zombie, autoparental, schizophrenic god's second birthday."
Heavy Fuel
Ask me for anything but time.
- Location
- 1123.6563.5321
Given that he has memories of the main series, you'd think he'd identify with a guy who sacrifices himself for humanity and gets misinterpreted by their fanbase.So... explaining Jeudeo-Christian religion to an NGE Nephilim.
This is gonna be goooood. I'mma get my camera, those kinds of psychological scars need to be documented!
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- Location
- Canada
So really, who does Jesus symbolism harder? Kaworu "Died For Your Sins" Nagisa, or Shinji "Crucified/Stigmatariffic" Ikari?
Considering the whole "Jesus Fish" thing, I'm gonna have to go with the trout on this one.
Ranma-sensei
Sorcerer
- Location
- Citrix Receiver
- Pronouns
- Weatherdependent
Didn't know Shinji was born in September.
- Location
- Canada
Oh, you know, just five years. And if Instrumentality is God, then someone who turns the world away from God isn't too much of a bad thing, imo. And the Anti-Christ is supposed to fit all the points, but the turn out to not be good at all, which also fits Kaworu (under certain interpretations of his role as an angel).
Chapter 10.14
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Fuck it, we're doing it live!
Or at least, I'm transcribing at least some of what I've got written, so there can be an update.
You know what? Change of plans. It's been a month since the last official update. This is unacceptable. So this is going to be a full update.
Art will be included later. Or more, anyhow. And more of Rei's explanation at the end. But for now, we're live.
Chapter 10.14
Choices and Sacrifices
+++
Not fifteen minutes into the morning lecture, Rei's laptop pinged as a private message arrived.
A. Soryu: Rei?
R. Ayanami: I do not want to talk about it.
A. Soryu: ...later?
R. Ayanami: Maybe.
A. Soryu: Ok. Just message me or Shinji if you need. You know we… care.
R. Ayanami: Yes. Thank you.
Rei returned to staring out the window, making a good imitation of her old habit. It attracted no attention, and helpfully kept her eyes pointed well away from the Fifth Child. She could hear her loves typing quietly but steadily away at their own laptops, with several glances thrown at Rei. She knew they were discussing her, Kaworu, and what she'd just said. She could feel the worry and care for her pouring off them. It was the sole comforting facet of her morning. For the first time in a long time, Rei wished she was not sitting there next to them. She suddenly wanted to… just run. Flee. Be somewhere else. Be somewhere… not here, where she could feel him looking at-
Her computer pinged quietly again. Another private message. She flicked a look at her screen.
It was him. Of course it was him.
K. Nagisa: Ayanami-san, are you alright? You look… disturbed. Unhappy. I… I apologize again for… telling them.
Rei frowned. She glanced at him briefly, across the room. He was staring at her with a worried, pleading look. She typed out a brief reply.
R. Ayanami: It is not about that, Kaworu. Do not ask what it is, I do not want to talk about it.
After a moment, she got a reply.
K. Nagisa: Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
R. Ayanami: I said I do not want to talk about it.
K. Nagisa: I feel responsible. Were you talking about me before you… left the group this morning?
R. Ayanami: What part of 'I do not want to talk about it' was unclear?
She could feel him flinch from across the room, his Light flickering even as she looked away. She gave him a brief, apologetic look.
R. Ayanami: I apologize. That was needlessly harsh. Not here, not now.
K. Nagisa: ….later?
R. Ayanami: Maybe.
K. Nagisa: Lunchtime?
Rei just turned away and stared out the window again. Stupid Fish… why did he have to make everything so difficult?
+++
The bell ringing for lunch was no sound of freedom. She could feel him staring at her as they all gathered their lunches and headed up to the roof.
Rei waved Shinji, Asuka, and the others past as they went up the last narrow staircase to the roof door. Kaworu looked at her hopefully as he reached her.
"You need to sit on the far side of the circle from me, Kaworu. We must uphold the appearance we are not friends. Understand?"
His face fell, and he slowly nodded. He turned to head up the stairs with a sad look.
She caught his shoulder forcing him to face her again. He blinked.
Rei carefully met his eyes. "That is not true, though. We are. For life. For hope. Remember that."
His Light flared into a brilliant, colorful display, as wild and elegant as much it was still strange to her, a gorgeous smile breaking out on his face. "Yes," he said, "we are. Thank you."
"I am still mad at you for telling them about the Box. But we will discuss this morning later. Perhaps this afternoon. Not here, though."
"As you wish."
Rei firmly held tight control of her Light, refusing to let it change, and stared right at him. "Get up to the roof, Rainbow Trout," she said evenly.
He smiled wider as he turned back and headed up the stairs, his steps lighter than before.
+++
"Knock knock. Can I come in and pester you for a bit?"
Ritsuko looked up from her computer, peering at her old friend over the top of her glasses. "'Come in and pester me'? Would saying 'no' do any good? It's never stopped you before."
Major Katsuragi gave her a half-smile from where she leaned against the doorframe of Ritsuko's office. "True, but it felt polite to ask. I've been trying to catch you here for a talk for days, but you're never in. Always down in your lab with Lieutenant Ibuki?" Misato raised an eyebrow.
A small bolt of mixed embarrassment and fear shot through her. A blush wanted to heat her face as precisely what she and Maya spent a lot of time down there doing, and terror that Misato even obliquely mentioned it in here. "We're doing what we can to recover from the sabotage those moles inflicted," she said, keeping her face blank.
"Mmm, yes, the sabotage I'm not even cleared for the details on," Misato grumbled. She pushed off the doorframe and walked inside, settling into one of the chairs facing Ritsuko's desk. She swept a look over the piles of papers that nearly created a continuous wall around Ritsuko's monitor. "Almost half as much as is on my desk, I see."
"So why don't you go back there and do some of it?" Ritsuko said, giving her a flat look. "Like I said, we are busy. The recovery is on top of the special projects we were working on before that, some of them personally directed by the Commander."
"Because we haven't spent enough time together in the last couple months, and I wanted to catch up," Misato said smoothly. "I was impressed by the thoroughness and attention to detail in those treatment notes you gave me for Rei's recovery from the Angel, and wanted to thank you. Plus, you and I have a lot more to talk about than we can squeeze into a day on the clock. All that non-work related stuff. You know, like we used to do?"
Ritsuko's fingers only froze for half a second on the keyboard. 'Translation: She wants to talk to me about that note I slipped into the medical bullshit, and discuss all the things implied in there, like what the Hell I'm doing helping Rei, countering the Commander's orders, and oh yeah, that whole 'part of a plot to end the world' thing she probably knows at least something about thanks to Kaji, plus whatever Rei's told her.'
"Just like the old days, yes," she said, thinking furiously. "We really should catch up. I liked the last time we went out for drinks. It was a break Lieutenant Ibuki and I needed, and we got to dress up a little. A girl likes to feel fancy sometimes."
Misato smiled. "Well, good. I'm thinking of a little get-together Christmas Eve at my place. Invite that assistant of yours, I'll see about getting Lieutenant Hyuga and some of the Ops people along, and we'll make a nice NERV off-duty party out of it. Just like my promotion party, eh?"
Misato's serious gaze belied her lighthearted tone and words. Ritsuko nodded. 'Message received. We're going to have a talk about a lot of things, then.´ "That sounds fine, assuming we don't have an Angel crashing the party."
Misato snorted. "No Angel better get between me and my beer at one of my parties. I'll throw them out the window like I did with that grabby frat boy that one time. Remember that? Ha!"
'No Angels crashing the party? Misato, if you only knew what the Fifth Child is…' That was one piece of information she wasn't going to reveal, not just because Rei had asked her not to. Ritsuko worried that Misato's response to learning there was an Angel right under her nose might end up with someone dead very quickly. "Try to control yourself. You're a theoretically responsible adult woman now, with a bunch of Children to watch out for."
"I am a model of sober responsibility!" Misato declared, turning to leave with a jaunty wave. "See you then, Rits."
"'Sober', right." Ritsuko sighed and got back to work, but half her mind was now rapidly sifting through what she needed to tell Misato, and what she could.
+++
"Is now 'later'?"
Rei found the energy to lightly scowl at the Fifth Child. "No, it is not, stupid fish. This is far too public."
Kaworu looked around at the public street they were walking down towards their apartment building. A street that was empty but for the four Children. "Ah. Public."
Rei glanced at Shinji and Asuka, walking a few meters ahead of them, holding hands. She looked back at Kaworu, her scowl deeper. "Oh, shut up. How many Section 2 or SEELE eyes are watching us right now?" she said, her voice low.
"There are three separate sniper teams watching us, in addition to the Section 2 distant perimeter. Well, watching me, at least. They are not aiming at you," Kaworu replied, his tone oddly light for the information.
"You should not sound so happy about that," Rei groused. "I do not want any of us to die, and that includes you, Rainbow Trout."
Kaworu shrugged. "I am happy they are not aiming at any of you. And I would not let them harm you or Shinji and Asuka in any case. Even if I had to… reveal myself."
Rei stared at him for a moment. "Do… do not do that if there is any other way, Kaworu. That would be difficult to explain away."
"I will if I have to. I know how much they mean to you. They are almost as much to me. I see and hear so much joy from them, from their bond… I will not let SEELE harm them." He looked at Rei. "Between them and you, I hope than I expected that we can find a way through this."
Rei nodded. "Good. We are all making it through this alive, Kaworu. You are my friend."
His smile widened a hair. "I'm glad."
"Oy, come on you two, not so much whispering sweet nothings to each other!" Asuka called back to them. The happy couple had pulled further ahead as Rei and Kaworu slowed a bit. "We've got music to play and homework to ignore!"
"Yes, Asuka," Rei gave a tiny smile as they caught up.
+++
Rei nearly shivered in relief when the door to her apartment closed behind her. "I dislike this intensely," she said wearily.
"Having to hide everything?" Shinji asked.
Rei nodded. She put her schoolbag down on the kitchen table and retrieved her viola case from her bedroom. She gave Shinji a wan smile. "It was watching the contrast between how Commander Ikari acts, all manipulation and lies, and how you both act towards each other, with tireless honesty and openness that taught me so much. He is cold, painful to be around. You two are light, warmth, love. I want that. So..."
Rei looked at Kaworu, then back to Shinji and Asuka. "I wish I had the freedom to be... like you. I want all of us to have that freedom. When I said I hate that I cannot say 'yes' this morning, I meant it."
"Is this... 'later'?" Kaworu asked.
"Yes, Rainbow Trout, it is," Rei said, rolling her eyes. "I do not like not being able to be honest with all of you, but... it is dangerous. So I will endure it."
"You were talking about me, this morning, weren't you?" Kaworu asked slowly.
Rei nodded. "You and I are... we cannot lie to each other. This is... more than I ever expected, Kaworu. It provides hope. But while the world watches, we cannot... even show friendship."
Kaworu smiled anyhow. "I know you are, and that is enough for now."
"It shouldn't have to be!" Asuka and Rei said in stereo. They looked at each other, blinking in surprise.
Asuka turned to her boyfriend. "Shinji, what was that thing you said Misato told you, back when?"
"Um.... 'Nothing will change unless you take that first step forward'?"
Asuka spun back to Rei. "Right! Even a little step forward counts!"
"Or backwards," Shinji said with a small smile.
"Eh?" Kaworu said, confused.
"The night we first kissed, I was shuffling backwards while we were... preoccupied. I tripped, and we fell over onto one of the beanbags, Asuka on top of me. We didn't get up again until Misato-san and Kaji-san came home. We talked for a while. It was a good trip."
"I am not about to trip and fall on the Rainbow Trout right now for a number of reasons," Rei said tartly. "However, I still wish I had the freedom to do so. It is painful enough that we cannot yet be fully honest with you two. That I cannot even show friendship to Kaworu is... another irritant. He deserves better than my public indifference or hostility."
Rei frowned at him. "Even if I am still annoyed with him right now."
Kaworu ducked his head guiltily.
"Rei, you know you can tell us anything," Shinji said. Asuka nodded beside him.
"I know," Rei said, her small smile returning. "And I love you both for it. But I do not want to put you in additional danger."
"Rei, we have heard enough from Shinji's mother that I think we're already there," Asuka pointed out.
Rei shook her head. "Not like this. I am... scared to tell you. Please?" She looked at them both, pleading.
Shinji stepped over to her and gave Rei a hug. Asuka suppressed an amused snort at the surprised blush on Rei's face. When Shinji pulled away, he looked at Rei and smiled. "Rei, if that's what you need, that's what we'll do. We trust you. We just want to help, since we can see you're in pain. Remember the day we met? Just like that. I... we'll always help you."
Rei smiled sadly. "Thank you, Shinji." She glanced at Kaworu, noting his aching look at the Third Child. "Shinji, I have a request."
"Anything we can do, Rei."
"Could you please hug Kaworu as well?"
"....huh?"
"He has no memories past 6 months ago. No memories of anyone caring for him. In his life that he can remember, only I have ever so much as given him a hug. He... greatly admires you, Shinji. Before SEELE sent him here, they had him study you. He came to like you, and was eager to meet you when he came," Rei said.
Shinji looked surprised, and looked toward Kaworu, who nodded hesitantly. "I... I guess? He admires me? Who'd want to-"
"You're a lot more well-liked than you think, baka mine," Asuka said, dryly amused. "People you never suspect like you. Idiot." Asuka crossed her arms and grumbled. "Everybody wants my boyfriend... of course."
Shinji hesitated. "Uh... is it ok, Asuka? I mean, Rei is a special case, but we... I hardly know Kaworu as well, and-"
"Oh, don't be so Japanese, Shinji," Asuka said. "Give the poor Regenbogenforelle [Rainbow Trout] a hug. Then get back here and give me one, since you're still mine."
Shinji smiled at her for a second, then turned to Kaworu. With a brief shrug, he raised his arms and carefully put them around the Fifth Child.
Kaworu shivered, and his arms came up to hug Shinji back. His embrace was almost desperately tight. He let out a small sound, a mix of a hiccup and a sob, before letting go. "Th-thank you, Shinji-kun. I... that was a gift."
Asuka grinned as she took Shinji's hand and pulled him back to her. "You like that 'gift', Regenbogenforelle, Christmas is going to blow your mind." She wrapped herself around Shinji and kissed his cheek.
"Christmas?" Kaworu asked vaguely, his eyes far away.
Asuka's grin got wider. "Oh, this is too perfect. Yes, Christmas. Big holiday where you give gifts to family and special people in your life. Though I think Japan has made it all weird, with obligatory gifts at work or stuff." She nuzzled Shinji's neck. "Japan still does Christmas parties, though, doesn't it?"
Shinji nodded. "Uh, yeah. I've never gotten to go to one before, though."
"Me either," Rei agreed. Kaworu nodded as well.
Asuka looked at each of them in dismay. "You know something? I am really glad Hikari is a Pilot too, or I'd be incredibly worried I was the only normal one."
Rei eyed the still silent and motionless Fifth Child. She reached up and tugged on his shoulder. "I think today we need to have our private conversation before we begin playing our instruments. Please excuse us. Come, Kaworu."
Kaworu numbly nodded, and followed Rei into her bedroom.
Once the door closed, Kaworu slapped both hands over his mouth and did his best to stifle a sob. "So good... so good... I... his Light was so warm... He was truly concerned for me. That was... everything I imagined, Ayanami. Thank you for... requesting that. He is..." Tears rolled down Kaworu's face. "He is always so... so kind to me. Even when I ask him to kill me." He scrubbed at his face. "The two of them... the Song is so beautiful. I will not... I will not let myself hurt them."
"I still refuse to kill you as long as there is any hope, Kaworu," Rei said.
"I know, I know," he replied, wiping the last of his tears away. "I would not disappoint you like that, Ayanami. You have truly given me so much hope." He closed his eyes for a moment, composing himself. "There are... a few worlds where I do not die. A few. It is hope and love that saves me in them. I think I will meditate on them, both to see if there are any lessons I can draw from them I could bend to making sure I survive here, and to remind me there is always hope."
"Hope," Rei echoed. "Mmm... I would like to underline first that I am still irritated with you about the Box, but... I think there is something I am ready to tell you. About what I remembered."
"About w-" Kaworu's gaze sharpened. "Ah."
"What do you remember about being him? Adam? Anything?"
"No. I know what I am, and what I need-" He shook his head. "No... what I am supposed to do about the Call, but it is just... awareness. Not conscious recall of memories," Kaworu said.
"So you are not him. Not in the sense of any real continuity of identity, correct?" Rei asked.
"Yes."
"I am... not her either. But I remember what she remembered."
Kaworu looked at her hard, almost hungrily. "You said you... remembered what happened, why we are different, why the Seeds were sent out, and why we ended up here in this situation... you are... ready to tell me now?"
Rei closed her eyes. "Yes."
She began.
+++
Rei will talk more about her memories, but I'm falling asleep. Goodnight, all.
Or at least, I'm transcribing at least some of what I've got written, so there can be an update.
You know what? Change of plans. It's been a month since the last official update. This is unacceptable. So this is going to be a full update.
Art will be included later. Or more, anyhow. And more of Rei's explanation at the end. But for now, we're live.
Chapter 10.14
Choices and Sacrifices
+++
Not fifteen minutes into the morning lecture, Rei's laptop pinged as a private message arrived.
A. Soryu: Rei?
R. Ayanami: I do not want to talk about it.
A. Soryu: ...later?
R. Ayanami: Maybe.
A. Soryu: Ok. Just message me or Shinji if you need. You know we… care.
R. Ayanami: Yes. Thank you.
Rei returned to staring out the window, making a good imitation of her old habit. It attracted no attention, and helpfully kept her eyes pointed well away from the Fifth Child. She could hear her loves typing quietly but steadily away at their own laptops, with several glances thrown at Rei. She knew they were discussing her, Kaworu, and what she'd just said. She could feel the worry and care for her pouring off them. It was the sole comforting facet of her morning. For the first time in a long time, Rei wished she was not sitting there next to them. She suddenly wanted to… just run. Flee. Be somewhere else. Be somewhere… not here, where she could feel him looking at-
Her computer pinged quietly again. Another private message. She flicked a look at her screen.
It was him. Of course it was him.
K. Nagisa: Ayanami-san, are you alright? You look… disturbed. Unhappy. I… I apologize again for… telling them.
Rei frowned. She glanced at him briefly, across the room. He was staring at her with a worried, pleading look. She typed out a brief reply.
R. Ayanami: It is not about that, Kaworu. Do not ask what it is, I do not want to talk about it.
After a moment, she got a reply.
K. Nagisa: Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
R. Ayanami: I said I do not want to talk about it.
K. Nagisa: I feel responsible. Were you talking about me before you… left the group this morning?
R. Ayanami: What part of 'I do not want to talk about it' was unclear?
She could feel him flinch from across the room, his Light flickering even as she looked away. She gave him a brief, apologetic look.
R. Ayanami: I apologize. That was needlessly harsh. Not here, not now.
K. Nagisa: ….later?
R. Ayanami: Maybe.
K. Nagisa: Lunchtime?
Rei just turned away and stared out the window again. Stupid Fish… why did he have to make everything so difficult?
+++
The bell ringing for lunch was no sound of freedom. She could feel him staring at her as they all gathered their lunches and headed up to the roof.
Rei waved Shinji, Asuka, and the others past as they went up the last narrow staircase to the roof door. Kaworu looked at her hopefully as he reached her.
"You need to sit on the far side of the circle from me, Kaworu. We must uphold the appearance we are not friends. Understand?"
His face fell, and he slowly nodded. He turned to head up the stairs with a sad look.
She caught his shoulder forcing him to face her again. He blinked.
Rei carefully met his eyes. "That is not true, though. We are. For life. For hope. Remember that."
His Light flared into a brilliant, colorful display, as wild and elegant as much it was still strange to her, a gorgeous smile breaking out on his face. "Yes," he said, "we are. Thank you."
"I am still mad at you for telling them about the Box. But we will discuss this morning later. Perhaps this afternoon. Not here, though."
"As you wish."
Rei firmly held tight control of her Light, refusing to let it change, and stared right at him. "Get up to the roof, Rainbow Trout," she said evenly.
He smiled wider as he turned back and headed up the stairs, his steps lighter than before.
+++
"Knock knock. Can I come in and pester you for a bit?"
Ritsuko looked up from her computer, peering at her old friend over the top of her glasses. "'Come in and pester me'? Would saying 'no' do any good? It's never stopped you before."
Major Katsuragi gave her a half-smile from where she leaned against the doorframe of Ritsuko's office. "True, but it felt polite to ask. I've been trying to catch you here for a talk for days, but you're never in. Always down in your lab with Lieutenant Ibuki?" Misato raised an eyebrow.
A small bolt of mixed embarrassment and fear shot through her. A blush wanted to heat her face as precisely what she and Maya spent a lot of time down there doing, and terror that Misato even obliquely mentioned it in here. "We're doing what we can to recover from the sabotage those moles inflicted," she said, keeping her face blank.
"Mmm, yes, the sabotage I'm not even cleared for the details on," Misato grumbled. She pushed off the doorframe and walked inside, settling into one of the chairs facing Ritsuko's desk. She swept a look over the piles of papers that nearly created a continuous wall around Ritsuko's monitor. "Almost half as much as is on my desk, I see."
"So why don't you go back there and do some of it?" Ritsuko said, giving her a flat look. "Like I said, we are busy. The recovery is on top of the special projects we were working on before that, some of them personally directed by the Commander."
"Because we haven't spent enough time together in the last couple months, and I wanted to catch up," Misato said smoothly. "I was impressed by the thoroughness and attention to detail in those treatment notes you gave me for Rei's recovery from the Angel, and wanted to thank you. Plus, you and I have a lot more to talk about than we can squeeze into a day on the clock. All that non-work related stuff. You know, like we used to do?"
Ritsuko's fingers only froze for half a second on the keyboard. 'Translation: She wants to talk to me about that note I slipped into the medical bullshit, and discuss all the things implied in there, like what the Hell I'm doing helping Rei, countering the Commander's orders, and oh yeah, that whole 'part of a plot to end the world' thing she probably knows at least something about thanks to Kaji, plus whatever Rei's told her.'
"Just like the old days, yes," she said, thinking furiously. "We really should catch up. I liked the last time we went out for drinks. It was a break Lieutenant Ibuki and I needed, and we got to dress up a little. A girl likes to feel fancy sometimes."
Misato smiled. "Well, good. I'm thinking of a little get-together Christmas Eve at my place. Invite that assistant of yours, I'll see about getting Lieutenant Hyuga and some of the Ops people along, and we'll make a nice NERV off-duty party out of it. Just like my promotion party, eh?"
Misato's serious gaze belied her lighthearted tone and words. Ritsuko nodded. 'Message received. We're going to have a talk about a lot of things, then.´ "That sounds fine, assuming we don't have an Angel crashing the party."
Misato snorted. "No Angel better get between me and my beer at one of my parties. I'll throw them out the window like I did with that grabby frat boy that one time. Remember that? Ha!"
'No Angels crashing the party? Misato, if you only knew what the Fifth Child is…' That was one piece of information she wasn't going to reveal, not just because Rei had asked her not to. Ritsuko worried that Misato's response to learning there was an Angel right under her nose might end up with someone dead very quickly. "Try to control yourself. You're a theoretically responsible adult woman now, with a bunch of Children to watch out for."
"I am a model of sober responsibility!" Misato declared, turning to leave with a jaunty wave. "See you then, Rits."
"'Sober', right." Ritsuko sighed and got back to work, but half her mind was now rapidly sifting through what she needed to tell Misato, and what she could.
+++
"Is now 'later'?"
Rei found the energy to lightly scowl at the Fifth Child. "No, it is not, stupid fish. This is far too public."
Kaworu looked around at the public street they were walking down towards their apartment building. A street that was empty but for the four Children. "Ah. Public."
Rei glanced at Shinji and Asuka, walking a few meters ahead of them, holding hands. She looked back at Kaworu, her scowl deeper. "Oh, shut up. How many Section 2 or SEELE eyes are watching us right now?" she said, her voice low.
"There are three separate sniper teams watching us, in addition to the Section 2 distant perimeter. Well, watching me, at least. They are not aiming at you," Kaworu replied, his tone oddly light for the information.
"You should not sound so happy about that," Rei groused. "I do not want any of us to die, and that includes you, Rainbow Trout."
Kaworu shrugged. "I am happy they are not aiming at any of you. And I would not let them harm you or Shinji and Asuka in any case. Even if I had to… reveal myself."
Rei stared at him for a moment. "Do… do not do that if there is any other way, Kaworu. That would be difficult to explain away."
"I will if I have to. I know how much they mean to you. They are almost as much to me. I see and hear so much joy from them, from their bond… I will not let SEELE harm them." He looked at Rei. "Between them and you, I hope than I expected that we can find a way through this."
Rei nodded. "Good. We are all making it through this alive, Kaworu. You are my friend."
His smile widened a hair. "I'm glad."
"Oy, come on you two, not so much whispering sweet nothings to each other!" Asuka called back to them. The happy couple had pulled further ahead as Rei and Kaworu slowed a bit. "We've got music to play and homework to ignore!"
"Yes, Asuka," Rei gave a tiny smile as they caught up.
+++
Rei nearly shivered in relief when the door to her apartment closed behind her. "I dislike this intensely," she said wearily.
"Having to hide everything?" Shinji asked.
Rei nodded. She put her schoolbag down on the kitchen table and retrieved her viola case from her bedroom. She gave Shinji a wan smile. "It was watching the contrast between how Commander Ikari acts, all manipulation and lies, and how you both act towards each other, with tireless honesty and openness that taught me so much. He is cold, painful to be around. You two are light, warmth, love. I want that. So..."
Rei looked at Kaworu, then back to Shinji and Asuka. "I wish I had the freedom to be... like you. I want all of us to have that freedom. When I said I hate that I cannot say 'yes' this morning, I meant it."
"Is this... 'later'?" Kaworu asked.
"Yes, Rainbow Trout, it is," Rei said, rolling her eyes. "I do not like not being able to be honest with all of you, but... it is dangerous. So I will endure it."
"You were talking about me, this morning, weren't you?" Kaworu asked slowly.
Rei nodded. "You and I are... we cannot lie to each other. This is... more than I ever expected, Kaworu. It provides hope. But while the world watches, we cannot... even show friendship."
Kaworu smiled anyhow. "I know you are, and that is enough for now."
"It shouldn't have to be!" Asuka and Rei said in stereo. They looked at each other, blinking in surprise.
Asuka turned to her boyfriend. "Shinji, what was that thing you said Misato told you, back when?"
"Um.... 'Nothing will change unless you take that first step forward'?"
Asuka spun back to Rei. "Right! Even a little step forward counts!"
"Or backwards," Shinji said with a small smile.
"Eh?" Kaworu said, confused.
"The night we first kissed, I was shuffling backwards while we were... preoccupied. I tripped, and we fell over onto one of the beanbags, Asuka on top of me. We didn't get up again until Misato-san and Kaji-san came home. We talked for a while. It was a good trip."
"I am not about to trip and fall on the Rainbow Trout right now for a number of reasons," Rei said tartly. "However, I still wish I had the freedom to do so. It is painful enough that we cannot yet be fully honest with you two. That I cannot even show friendship to Kaworu is... another irritant. He deserves better than my public indifference or hostility."
Rei frowned at him. "Even if I am still annoyed with him right now."
Kaworu ducked his head guiltily.
"Rei, you know you can tell us anything," Shinji said. Asuka nodded beside him.
"I know," Rei said, her small smile returning. "And I love you both for it. But I do not want to put you in additional danger."
"Rei, we have heard enough from Shinji's mother that I think we're already there," Asuka pointed out.
Rei shook her head. "Not like this. I am... scared to tell you. Please?" She looked at them both, pleading.
Shinji stepped over to her and gave Rei a hug. Asuka suppressed an amused snort at the surprised blush on Rei's face. When Shinji pulled away, he looked at Rei and smiled. "Rei, if that's what you need, that's what we'll do. We trust you. We just want to help, since we can see you're in pain. Remember the day we met? Just like that. I... we'll always help you."
Rei smiled sadly. "Thank you, Shinji." She glanced at Kaworu, noting his aching look at the Third Child. "Shinji, I have a request."
"Anything we can do, Rei."
"Could you please hug Kaworu as well?"
"....huh?"
"He has no memories past 6 months ago. No memories of anyone caring for him. In his life that he can remember, only I have ever so much as given him a hug. He... greatly admires you, Shinji. Before SEELE sent him here, they had him study you. He came to like you, and was eager to meet you when he came," Rei said.
Shinji looked surprised, and looked toward Kaworu, who nodded hesitantly. "I... I guess? He admires me? Who'd want to-"
"You're a lot more well-liked than you think, baka mine," Asuka said, dryly amused. "People you never suspect like you. Idiot." Asuka crossed her arms and grumbled. "Everybody wants my boyfriend... of course."
Shinji hesitated. "Uh... is it ok, Asuka? I mean, Rei is a special case, but we... I hardly know Kaworu as well, and-"
"Oh, don't be so Japanese, Shinji," Asuka said. "Give the poor Regenbogenforelle [Rainbow Trout] a hug. Then get back here and give me one, since you're still mine."
Shinji smiled at her for a second, then turned to Kaworu. With a brief shrug, he raised his arms and carefully put them around the Fifth Child.
Kaworu shivered, and his arms came up to hug Shinji back. His embrace was almost desperately tight. He let out a small sound, a mix of a hiccup and a sob, before letting go. "Th-thank you, Shinji-kun. I... that was a gift."
Asuka grinned as she took Shinji's hand and pulled him back to her. "You like that 'gift', Regenbogenforelle, Christmas is going to blow your mind." She wrapped herself around Shinji and kissed his cheek.
"Christmas?" Kaworu asked vaguely, his eyes far away.
Asuka's grin got wider. "Oh, this is too perfect. Yes, Christmas. Big holiday where you give gifts to family and special people in your life. Though I think Japan has made it all weird, with obligatory gifts at work or stuff." She nuzzled Shinji's neck. "Japan still does Christmas parties, though, doesn't it?"
Shinji nodded. "Uh, yeah. I've never gotten to go to one before, though."
"Me either," Rei agreed. Kaworu nodded as well.
Asuka looked at each of them in dismay. "You know something? I am really glad Hikari is a Pilot too, or I'd be incredibly worried I was the only normal one."
Rei eyed the still silent and motionless Fifth Child. She reached up and tugged on his shoulder. "I think today we need to have our private conversation before we begin playing our instruments. Please excuse us. Come, Kaworu."
Kaworu numbly nodded, and followed Rei into her bedroom.
Once the door closed, Kaworu slapped both hands over his mouth and did his best to stifle a sob. "So good... so good... I... his Light was so warm... He was truly concerned for me. That was... everything I imagined, Ayanami. Thank you for... requesting that. He is..." Tears rolled down Kaworu's face. "He is always so... so kind to me. Even when I ask him to kill me." He scrubbed at his face. "The two of them... the Song is so beautiful. I will not... I will not let myself hurt them."
"I still refuse to kill you as long as there is any hope, Kaworu," Rei said.
"I know, I know," he replied, wiping the last of his tears away. "I would not disappoint you like that, Ayanami. You have truly given me so much hope." He closed his eyes for a moment, composing himself. "There are... a few worlds where I do not die. A few. It is hope and love that saves me in them. I think I will meditate on them, both to see if there are any lessons I can draw from them I could bend to making sure I survive here, and to remind me there is always hope."
"Hope," Rei echoed. "Mmm... I would like to underline first that I am still irritated with you about the Box, but... I think there is something I am ready to tell you. About what I remembered."
"About w-" Kaworu's gaze sharpened. "Ah."
"What do you remember about being him? Adam? Anything?"
"No. I know what I am, and what I need-" He shook his head. "No... what I am supposed to do about the Call, but it is just... awareness. Not conscious recall of memories," Kaworu said.
"So you are not him. Not in the sense of any real continuity of identity, correct?" Rei asked.
"Yes."
"I am... not her either. But I remember what she remembered."
Kaworu looked at her hard, almost hungrily. "You said you... remembered what happened, why we are different, why the Seeds were sent out, and why we ended up here in this situation... you are... ready to tell me now?"
Rei closed her eyes. "Yes."
She began.
+++
Rei will talk more about her memories, but I'm falling asleep. Goodnight, all.
It still feels absurd to see this word used in an English sentence.
Like, not as bad as watching Girls und Panzer, Commiesub Version, while also hitting the cream liqueur, but reasonably close.
Also, I'm not sure those parentheses were meant to stay there.
Good on you for updating! Remember to get some sleep. I'll do the same.
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Reference to SIRP?
Spectral Waltz
Scatterbrained Writer
- Location
- Walking the Endless Corridors
I don't know, she did say she liked Shinji and Asuka.
GoukaRyuu
Shadow Cabal Made Man
- Location
- New Jersey
- Location
- Texas
Typo on the last "freedom".
I like that. Even hiding the truth is exhausting, even though she's scared. And Shinji hugging Kaworu was nice, too, as was Asuka's reaction.