Advice and Trust [NGE]

[The Englanderish]

It.
Is.
Here.

+++++

This is something I have been working on for... over a month now. It has been... hard to write. It was prompted by a comment from far back in the thread and as such, this is based off a situation decidedly before Asuka's party.

+++++

Dolour Luminous​

"Rei, do you have a moment?"

Rei looked up to see The Trout facing her. They were plugsuited up and about to sally out against the latest Angel – a kind of hovering snowflake-bird that orbited in space. And, for some reason, he had apparently decided to cross over to her Eva's cage to speak before they sortied. There was an uncertain, but resolute look on his face. What on Earth could he want now?

Begrudgingly, she nodded, regarding him suspiciously.

"Make it quick."

"I… this burden. It is… hard to bear. I sometimes find myself feeling it is too hard. I…" he stopped, composing his words. "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being alone, of fighting the call, of-" He sighed. "Please be my friend."

Rei dropped her gaze sharply.

"You… before you came here, things were simple. They weren't good, but they were straightforward. And now…" she groaned. "Why? Why did you have to come here? Why did you have to be you? Wh-"

She stopped herself, leaving the last of her words unsaid: 'Why couldn't you have just been evil?'

"I'm sorry," came his only reply.

"I can't be your friend," said Rei, venomously. "I wish you'd never come here. I wish I'd never met you-"

She regretted saying it almost as soon as it was out of her mouth. That… had been cruel. It had been bitter and heartless – born of frustration more than any actual honesty. But the damage was done.

Kaworu's face softened, however.

"I know…" he whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Shivering slightly, he left her there, by Unit-00.

-

Kaworu gazed up at this target through the targeting visor. It was remarkably beautiful, but nonetheless gave him a sense of serious foreboding. He pushed it to the back of his mind, however. He had to kill it. When he was sure the shot lined up correctly, he squeezed the trigger. The positron beam burst from the rifle in an instant.

And missed, arcing away under the Earth's gravity.

The reaction was immediate.

Pain.

Indescribable pain.

He let out an excruciated gasp, eyes widening. He could… feel it. The angel was forcing its way in, burrowing into him, right inside and it hurt so much. It was feeling him, satisfying its curiosity over him, finding out every little thing. Clutching his head in his hands as it pushed deeper, cries began to blurt out of him.

"AAAAHH! NO! STOP! STOP IT!"

But it was no use as the angel continued to violate him, churning up every bad day, every dark moment. The lab, the months of isolation, the call, the danger of SEELE, her hostility-

"NO!" he screamed harder, "NO, GET OUT!"

That was not for this thing. It had no right. But there was nothing he could do. It was taking everything and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"Please," he begged, his voice cracking, "Please stop."

It didn't stop, endlessly rushing in, exploring the inner depths of him. There was no respite, no mercy. It just. Kept. Going.

"Help me…" the boy cried out pathetically, whimpering now. It carried across the comms and into the ears of the pilots, the bridge crew, they heard it all.

Asuka had her hand over her mouth in horrified silence. What was it doing to him? What could cause such hurt in his voice? Shinji's own thoughts mirrored his love's. Frantically, he spoke to command.

"W-what should we do? Misato?"

And Rei? Rei sat in her plug, listening to it all, her face tightening uncomfortably. She couldn't keep listening to this; it was too much. With a shaky hand, she reached out and cut off Kaworu's comm from her.

Through the agony in his head, the boy saw the readout – showing the connection cut off.

'No… please don't leave me here… I… I need you… I- Aaaahgghhahaheatdvfggbfhdmbg!"

His ability to think fell away under Arael's violation.

---

Kaworu staggered out of the entry plug, still shaking. He was dazed, hurt. His thoughts were a mess, not quite registering everything. He stumbled off, down the deserted street, ignoring the orders blaring out to wait for quarantine. By the time anyone else arrived, he had vanished, into the city.

---

"Kaworu never reported back," said Asuka, quietly. She and Shinji glanced nervously at Rei, who was on the other side of the breakroom and looking… antsy.

"He needs help," replied Shinji, "we can't let him deal with this alone. He's going to need support."

"Agreed," said Asuka.

The two looked at Rei again. She looked back.

"What are you looking at me for?"

"Well," Asuka began in her best attempt at a diplomatic voice. "You've spent the most time around him. You should go see him."

Rei stiffened.

"That… is not a good idea."

"Why not? You're best suite-"

"No."

"Rei…" said Shinji, confused. "He's hurt, vulnerable. He… he needs someone there for him. You saw what happened; how he was!"

Rei looked at them both, their earnest expressions, the surprised disappointment. She sighed.

---

The door to Kaworu's… box, to use an effective description, creaked open. It was dark inside, quiet – except for a trickling sound. The patch of sunlight creeped wider as she opened the door further, casting her eyes into the room. She heard long, hard, callous breaths from out of the dark. The drip, dripping sound appeared to be from the adjacent bathroom – the shower. Nervously, she pushed the door further, more sunlight spreading across the room, over the bed and the drawn blind until-

There!

Kaworu was slumped against the wall, shuddering with his arms around his knees. His snowy hair was damp from the shower and a towel lay strewn before him. He'd apparently managed to get himself dressed at least. He slowly raised his head, his face was red, inflamed and rubbed raw. The whites of his eyes were pink and puffy – the usual shine in his irises had gone. He surveyed her, his lips quivering. She gazed down at the ruined boy. Her heart shattered.

"Oh… Kaworu…"

He only looked desperately at her.

"Asuka…"

---

Shinji sat Rei down and held her gaze sternly.

"What is your problem with him?" he asked, irritation spreading across his face.

"You… wouldn't understand," was the quiet reply.

"Oh, I wouldn't? You aren't even trying."

"Maybe I don't want to try," she snapped, harshly.

"Why?" Shinji snapped back, scowling. "Why are you so adamant about this? Why are you so hostile to him?"

Rei gazed at Shinji for quite some time.

Her lip trembled.

Then she burst.

"BECAUSE IT HURTS TOO MUCH TO CARE!"

Into tears. Collapsing, she was caught by Shinji, who pulled her into his embrace. Stunned by the outburst, he hugged her crying form close, stroking his hand up and down her back.

"Oh… Rei…"

---

Asuka slid down the wall, beside the distraught Nephilim. She wasn't sure how to do this with Kaworu – unused to offering support to someone not as close to her. Nervously, she slid an arm round his shoulders.

"I… I don't know what that thing did to you… but… if you need somebody to hold onto and just let it out… I'm here."

He slid wordlessly into her embrace, shuddering. She clutched him and began rocking gently, hoping to somehow sooth him.

"What… happened to your face?"

"Had to… get it out," he muttered, "Had to get clean… scrub it all away… but… I can't." A sickened lump caught in her throat at his words. "It's still in here… it's everywhere – I can feel it! A-and it just makes me feel so… filthy… disgusting. I feel sick."

A shudder ran across Asuka. Both terrified and horrified at his words, she tightened her grip on him, stroking up and down his back. She didn't know what to do, what to say.

She could only keep hold and hope.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered out.

"My life is a joke," he continued, viciously. "And it showed it all to me. I have nothing… I am nothing… worse than that, even."

"What?" asked Asuka, staring down at him. "You aren't nothing. You're our friend, we care about you – that's not nothing-"

"SHE DOESN'T CARE!"

His shout was sudden and… almost seemed demonic, primeval even. It shook her to her very core. Something clicked inside Asuka.

'Oh. Oh shit…'

"I'm nothing to her," he whispered, now sobbing into her shoulder.

"Mein Gott, Kaworu… I'm so sorry."

She had no idea what to do. Kaworu seemed to be shattering into crumbled shards and she didn't know how to stop him – to help him.

"All I ever know of her is pain… but… I just can't help wanting her more…"

Taking a deep breath, Asuka had no idea what she was going to say – but she had to say something.

"Kaworu. I know Rei well. Very well. For what it's worth… I don't think you're nothing to her."

Casting her mind back, she scrutinised what she recalled of Rei's behaviour as of late. Examining what she remembered, trying to get a sense of the Ayanami perspective.

"I think she's confused. I think she doesn't know what to do, so she pushes you away."

Kaworu clutched her like a lifeline, seeming to take hold of her every word desperately.

"R-really?"

"I think so. Just… don't give up on things yet. What just happened… was terrible. Awful. But… it can get better. Promise me you'll at least try?"

Finally, he looked up at her, his face a mess. He sniffed, but there was now the dawning of hope on his face.

"I… I can try."

+++++

Mind raping Kaworu could be amusing...

Click to shrink...

Tell me: Do you still find it amusing?​

 

[Strypgia]

And now for something a little different. Courtesy of @SeptimusMagisto and myself, here is the first (and possibly not the only) Shinji Ikari Raising Project Quest and Advice & Trust cross-encounter.
Opening assumptions: The SIRP cast has been hiccupped into the A&T-verse by Leliel-like Dirac experiments. To keep things calm until they can be recovered, each has been sent to spend time with their respective counterparts. We decided to start with A&T!Rei having a quiet talk with SIRP!Rei in the former's apartment. A&T!Rei speaks in white, SIRP!Rei in blue.

+++

*SCENE OPENS*​

"This is strange. I'm used to seeing someone who looks like me, but they don't normally talk to me."


Rei Ayanami places the cup of tea in front of... Rei Ayanami, and takes a seat opposite her. "I am going to assume for the moment that our taste in teas is congruent."


Rei dutifully takes a sip, finding nothing particularly objectionable about the experience.
"It seems that's true."


Rei tilts her head slightly, staring at her counterpart's shirtfront. "I did not say anything before, but... am I seeing an S2 Organ in you? Fully developed?"


The other Rei runs a hand over her chest and fingers a lock of her considerably longer hair, blushing slightly. "It's...new."
"I was inside Unit 01 when it gained one. Then I...did what my body wanted to."


"I...see. And... how did you acquire this? I estimate an Angel not Tabris was involved?" Rei's eyebrows go up and her cheeks color a little. "Or... are you and he... involved?"


Rei seems genuinely perplexed by that thought and gently shakes her head. "I am...involved...with Shinji."
"Kaworu is a friend...of sorts."


"How do you..." Rei cuts herself off. "Ah? That is... pleasant. I love him too. How are things between you and Asuka, then? She is... are you just sharing him, or is it a true... unity?"


Rei chokes on her tea, almost spitting some of it at her counterpart. She formulates her response while trying to regain her breath.


Rei passes her a napkin.


"I'm not sure what you mean. Asuka did-does have feelings for Shinji. But Shinji chose me."


Rei looks stricken. "....only? But she..." She places her hands on the table, trying to keep them from shaking. "But... she loves him. And me. And I her and..." She looks up, confused. "What happened? How did they... It was /their/ love that awoke mine!"
"How did... did they not... join?"


Rei shrugged, still confused about the concepts being thrown around.
"He and I became friends before she arrived. When she did, she was angry. I got closer to Shinji; she pushed him away. I came to understand my feelings; she denied hers. Then I kissed him. And he said he liked me more than her."
"But...you love Asuka?"


The hosting Rei swallowed heavily. "They... they fell in love. When she saw how I lived, alone and drugged, Asuka helped me. Became my friend. I watched them grow closer. Their Light... you must have seen it, how beautiful it is. And I... began to love them. I... I told them I loved them after the 14th Angel. I fought alone, but they saved me."
She looks up, a few tears at the corners of her eyes. "I told them I loved them both, and... they did not reject me. Yes. Asuka loves me, no less than Shinji. I am not... with them, out of fear I might disrupt their bond, but... I would die for them. Save the world for them. Anything."


"Are you sure you're not confused? There are at least four kinds of love."
"I read that in a book," Rei adds helpfully.


Rei smiled weakly. "I have read the same book, I think. It is...reassuring to know that is the same. But I am sure. I love them both unconditionally, all four. I... I have not sampled Eros with them beyond a single kiss to each, but... I would..." Rei flushes. "I would not... decline if they... made offers." Her voice shrinks. "....I think about it at night, before I sleep, sometimes."
"And... I can see it in their Light. They love me too. Can you not... See? I could not, until I broke some internal seals during the 14th Angel fight."


Rei shakes her head.


"I can...see everyone's Light. And their emotions and bonds thereby. Shinji and Asuka are... glorious together." She peers at her counterpart. "You are... the S2 Organ makes you look quite strange."
She frowns slightly. "A bit like the Rainbow Trout." She snorts. "Stupid Fish."


"This sounds...strange. When Asuka first arrived I fought her, mentally and physically. Now I want her to be close to me, and I want to protect her. But I don't have those desires. I don't want her to be *mine* like I do with Shinji. I don't...want to kiss her."
Rei blinks.
"Rainbow Trout?"


"My feelings for Asuka followed a somewhat similar arc, yes. The kissing is a... continuation of the other feelings. And the... fish thing is a nickname for Nagisa. He looks distinctly odd to my Sight, as he is... what he is. We are...friends."


"I know he wears all the colors of the rainbow now, but why a trout?"


"He..." Rei tries to articulate the image of something that has no visual correspondent. "Every Lilim soul looks similar enough that I can see it like ...positions on a scale. A number from 0 to infinity. But Nagisa... if everyone else looks like a number, he looks like a fish. Wildly and obviously different. So when Asuka called him 'new fish', for being the newest Pilot, it... triggered an association in my mind. It has become a friendly nickname for him. He...needs friends."
"He is having great difficultly resisting the Call."


Rei nods, finally in familiar territory.
"Our Kaworu is trying anti-Buddhism. I don't think it will work. Buddhists have no real insights, one way or the other."


"M-... ours is... um." Rei looks away. "He is... um."
"....apparently, thinking of... Lilim urges blocks the Call. So he...um."


"Eats candy until he throws up? I know."


Rei shrinks in her seat slightly. "....thinks of me," she mumbles. "That way."


"oh"

Awkward silence descends on the table for a full minute.


"....I'm minding less."


"oh" Rei repeats, in the same tone as before.


She looks up, her embarrassment fading away rapidly. "....have you fought any Angels that...attacked your mind?"


Rei nods.
"Kushiel. The one whose core Unit 01 ate."
"It showed me all the worst things I could imagine."
"Worlds where everything went wrong because Third Impact happened."
"Worlds where everything went wrong because it didn't."
"Everyone I love dead."
"And...more."


Rei puts her hand across the table, touching her counterpart's hand. "....we will not allow it. We will protect them. I think we are alike on that."
"Protecting them is worth everything."


Rei hangs her head.


"Have courage. I... have ideas."


"It may not be our choice. I saw Shinji get hit by a car. I wasn't there."


"We just fought a mind-attack Angel too. Arael. It..." She shakes her head. "It... chased me through my own mind. I tried to flee inward to get away. I... broke through, under it's attack."
"A car?! I...ah. Yes. I had... terror visions too. Of them... hating me. They... do not know what I am." Rei hangs her head too


"I can't be there to protect Shinji all the time."
"He can't always be there to protect me"
"The world is uncertain and anyone could die at any time."
Rei shakes.


"I know. All we can do is protect the world that let's them live. We cannot... roll them up in a blanket and lock them away."


"We...could."


Rei squeezes her hand. "Let me tell you what... I remembered."


Rei nods, still lost within her fears.


"I... remembered being her."


Rei nods again, more interested than shocked.


"Lilith."
"I remembered... where we came from. Why. How. Why Adam and I are on this world together. I remember... being nearly a goddess."
"If you have an S2 Organ... you are closer to that power than you know. And... you can use that to protect him and the world. Against anyone. Do not... let fear consume you. I worry the Rainbow Trout is...despairing. But I will save him too. None of my friends will... fall."


Rei shakes her head.
"I can't. I don't have infinite reach. I can't be near him all the time."
"I try, but I can't."
"There is one way I could make sure he and the world are safe...but I'm not sure if I should follow Gendo Ikari's plan anymore."


"You don't have to. He is... someone to love, not imprison for safety. Would you want him to do so to you? Lock you away from any risk?" Rei smiles slightly.
"I ride into battle at my loves' side. I am afraid, but I know together we are mighty."
"They would risk all for me. I will do no less. More, even, since I can be replaced."
"...though Asuka has asked me not to die. She fears losing me."


Rei nods.
"Against the Angels...I will do my best."
"After that...I don't know what to do anymore."
"I miss being certain."


Rei nods, smiling a bit more. "We will defeat the Angels. We will stop SEELE. We will protect our loves." Her smile is sadder. "I...understand. I..." she sighs. "Sometimes I am so scared, I almost ask Doctor Akagi to... give me the drugs again, so I would return to being so numb I did not care. But... not at the price of losing my loves. Never."


Rei blinks.
"Drugs?"


"I miss the... lack of doubt. But... what I have now is so much warmer."
Rei nods. "Commander Ikari had Doctor Akagi giving me... a broad array of tranquilizers and dissociatives. To keep me... numb and... obedient. Asuka... recognized them, and urged me to stop taking them. That was... how we began."


Rei blinks again, in more confusion.
"Wouldn't that be...redundant?"


Rei shrugs. "I worked. I never even thought to question Commander Ikari at all until after that. Or even felt much emotion. Every day was... grey. Blurry. You... he did not do this to you?"


"There was no need. My days were...grey enough."
"I never cared about anything. Until Gendo Ikari saved me...until Shinji Ikari became my friend...until Misato Katsuragi became...my mother."


Rei's smile is sunny. "Everything was so much... more since Shinji came, isn't it? I have friends now. Several!"
"And... people who love me!"


Rei just nods happily.


Rei's smile collapses. "...until they... learn what I am. Major Katsuragi... hates Angels. I am terrified of... how she will react if... when she learns what Nagisa and I are."
"That is what the Angel tormented me with."
"Their rejection. Their hate."


"In my experience she will hug you and try to make you feel better."


Rei shiveres. "I...could not..." Rei looks up. "What? She....how? She hates the Angels more than... almost anything. Maybe SEELE."


"Maybe. But she loves us more than she hates the Angels."
"I was also afraid. Of telling Shinji that I am part Angel...and part his mother. Of telling Asuka that I was artificial."
"But Shinji accepted me, exactly as I am."
"And Asuka...she was so angry at NERV for lying to her and manipulating her, she barely had enough energy to be upset about my origins."


Rei's smile returns. "Truly? I... I worried like that, when I told them I loved them. But they did not reject me. Perhaps... no, I know Shinji and Asuka will not reject me."
"Major Katsuragi... Maybe they can help... prepare her."


"She helped me prepare them."


Rei smiles. "You should hear how they 'prepared' her for learning they were... together. And... sexually engaged."
"Pen Pen helped."


"That's...strange. She didn't ask all of you to avoid sex until you were older?"
"She was very clear on the subject with us. She was even against it when I wanted to sleep in Shinji's bed. I had to ask the Commander to overrule her."


Rei actually laughs out loud. It's a small laugh, but a real one. "She did! She required they remain celibate until Asuka was 15, as proof they were serious, and not simply driven by lust."
"They did so."
"They even slept separately for a month to prove it."
"Our Major concluded she could not entirely block them, but chose to trust them. She was validated."
"After a month, she granted permission after Asuka's birthday."


"Asuka is...fifteen?"


"Yes. Shinji is... 6 months older. I am... well, you know how we are. Do...do you know our birthdate?"


"I think...our worlds are more distinct than I thought. Different ages, different medications...I wonder what else is different?"


"I...well, I can See, but you cannot. Though I think that might be a power you might gain. I did not have it myself until I... /needed/ to break through internally, to save them against the 14th. We called it Zeruel."
"I... have no S2 Organ, but... I guess I could gain one?"
"And... You weren't drugged. I think your Commander Ikari must be... different, too."


Rei nods.
"That seems...true."
"The Commander used to be the most important person in my life."
"He's not now, but I...worry about him."


Rei nods. "Indeed. I had...nothing else."


"I worry that he and Misato Katsuragi will oppose each other."
"And that will mean I must...oppose him."
"Possibly put an end to his dream."


Rei nods again. "I... I cannot support his plan, now. But... I can...somewhat understand it. He... he is willing to do anything to get his wife back."
"But... that would cost Shinji and Asuka their world. Their love. Everything. I...I cannot let the Commander do that."
"I... might have a plan."


Rei looks around carefully.


"We are secure here," Rei assures her.
"I... As Lilith, we can... do many things, yes?"
"All the Commander really wants is his love back. To be with her. Everything else is secondary to that."
"If we can... grant him that, he may be... willing to leave everything else alone."


Rei purses her lips, thinking it over.


"It... gives me hope. Shinji is... very angry with his father, here. For what he did to me. To Asuka. They... they are going to have a confrontation, I think. You know who's side I will choose."


Rei nods sadly.
"I wish I didn't have to choose," she says, forlornly.
"I just want everyone I care about to be safe and happy."


Rei squeezes her hand again. "I know. But...that is life. Choices. I..." Rei swallows again. "I... have promised Nagisa that I will stop him, if he... cannot stop himself. I do not want to. He is a friend. I... I will if I must but..."
She cannot continue.


"Yes, we all have the same deal with our Kaworu."
"Mari was the first to suggest it."


"...who?"
"And wait... you 'all' do? You all know what Nagisa is? Even the Major?"
"...and you call him Kaworu?"


"She found out about him, like she found out about me. I told Shinji alone. Mari already knew about Kaworu. We told everything to everyone...together."
"About what we are, what we could do."


"And they accepted you." Rei looks a bit happier. "I hope that bodes as well for I."


"Mari is Kaworu's oldest friend. I...noticed that she's not around in your world. Was Kaworu chosen to be the pilot of Unit 03?"


Rei shakes her head. "Not initially. I do not know a Mari. Hikari Horaki was the first Pilot of Unit-03. She was... injured when an Angel infected it during activation. Nagisa was sent by SEELE as a replacement. He... fought beside me in the last battle. He... protected me when the Angel struck me."
"I will ask him if there is a Mari back in Germany, perhaps."


"If she's not there with him...it could be bad," Rei states with concern. "She is...his counterpoint. They balance each other out. He will have a harder time without her. And I don't know what she will do without him.."


Rei visibly fights down a frown. "Counterpoint? I... He... I... I will..." She subsides to muttering. "Stupid Fish. You're not even here and you're annoying me."
Rei looks uncomfortable. "I... um. That's another thing I remembered from Lilith."


"Yes?"


"There are not supposed to be two Seeds on one world. I am not supposed to be here."
"But... my Seed followed his. Unconsciously."
"Because... because..." Rei pinches her eyes closed. "Because she loved Adam. But could never say it. And... I think I'm starting to like him."


Rei looks nonplussed.
"I think our version of Lilith just stabbed Adam until he stopped being a threat."
"But...I don't have her memories."


"I know, it's stupid. He's stupid. It's all stupid." Rei waves her hand in the air, more animated. "But.... while I hate Tabris... Kaworu Nagisa is a good man."


"He can be, yes."


"And my friend. I...don't want him to die. Not until at least I figure out what these memories are. And... how I feel."
"I don't want him to die, period."
"I'm sorry. I'm being.... stupid."


Rei shakes her head.
"I don't want him to die either."
"He is part of my family. All the pilots are."
Rei looks at her watch, comparing the current time with the projected return of the Dirac Sea.
"We don't have much time left. I'll need to return to my world soon."
"But this has been...informative."


"You must go?" Rei looks saddened. "I... wish you could... visit. This has been...heartening."
"If you could? Please give Shinji and Asuka... a chance. Of something. She is... so happy with him, here. It makes me sad to think of her... alone."
"Her happiness is important to me."


Rei suppresses her desire to petulantly declare that Shinji is *hers*.
"I will...think about it. And your plan. I don't know if I can defeat Unit 01...but it could be worth a try."
"If a Third Impact needs to happen, it should at least happen for the right reasons."


Rei smiles. "Thank you. I... I believe we will save everyone. We have... people who believe in us."
She comes around the table to hug her counterpart. "Give your Shinji a hug and kiss for me."


Rei hugs back.


Rei smiles a bit more. "Our friends are... wonderful people, aren't they?"


"They are. You should tell them what we are. Our worlds are different in may respects...but I don't think this is one of them."


Rei nods. "We will protect them all. We are Lilith, Mother of All." She steps back and gives the other Rei a thumbs up. "Good luck."


Rei returns the thumbs up with a gentle smile.
"Take care of your world."
And then she walks out.

*SCENE CLOSE*​

+++

It all came out a good deal more hopeful than I expected, and our Reis more alike than I had thought. Both had deep urges to protect their circle, and prevent a tragic Third Impact, even if SIRP!Rei still considers it a viable, if last-choice option. And both are still haunted by fears of losing what happiness they've won with such difficulty. It helps that both love Shinji.

 

[Strypgia]

Or how about now? Now? Now is good.

This time, it's the Asukas.

As before, the A&T!Asuka is in white, the SIRP!Asuka in blue.

+++

*SCENE OPENS*

Nodding over her shoulder at her Shinji (and what a thought that was, there being more than one of all of them!), Asuka waved her counterpart into her room. "Here, this will be the quietest place to hang out, since if we go out, we'll get mistaken for twins or something."

She takes a seat on the slightly-larger-than-a-twin bed and gestures at the desk and chair. "Have a seat, 'me'?"

Asuka shrugs and follows her doppelganger's suggestion. Until now her eyes mostly lingered on the other girl's still-intact hair, but she takes the opportunity to look around the room.

"So... what's with the..." She waves at her counterpart's head. "Bad Angel fight, I take it?"


"My head was on fire."

"On fire? What the Hell..."

"Well, not my head. My Unit's. I just got the sympathetic burns."

"I take it you haven't fought the lightning Angel yet?"

"When you do, watch out. It can stuff itself into an Eva."

"Uh....no. Closest we got was the Giant D8 of Doom. That had Terrawatt-level positron beams. Nearly fried Shinji and Rei, but that was before I got here. Poor baka got some pretty good burns from his sympathetic bleed-through. Jesus, that must have hurt, your head, I mean. I'll grow back fine, right?"


"Probably? The time this happened," Asuka points to a small scar on her face "All the wounds more or less healed. So...it'll probably be fine."

"Yeesh! I'm glad we haven't had as many close calls as that!" Asuka pauses for a moment. "Well...ok, nevermind. The 6th Angel nearly ate Shinji and I at sea, and the fucking volcano one..." She shivers. "If Shinji had been one second slower, I'd be dead."


"Okay, definitely not the same Angels, then."

"A volcano, though? That sounds...bad."

"How big was it?"

"Sounds like we've had totally different sets, yeah..." She nods. "It was...dormant, in a volcano. We tried to capture it. It was...mm, about 150m long when it 'hatched', I think? And swam through lava. I was dangling from coolant cables, and didn't even have a weapon!"

"Luckily, Shinji dropped me his Prog knife, and had that brilliant idea about thermal shock." She snorts and laughs a moment. "And he only thought of that because I was flirting at him earlier in a bikini! Haha!"


"Okay, yeah. That sounds pretty bad. But not as bad as I was picturing."

"When you said volcano Angel I thought you meant Volcano Angel.

"Given how things work, I'm half expecting that next. Last one was the Angel of Freaky Mind Rape From Space."


Asuka shudders.

"Maybe not totally different sets, then."

"That one was...oh, God."

She puts her arms around herself.

Asuka winces. "Ah... that one hit you? Sorry... um. It hit Rei and Kanworu here. They were... pretty messed up by it. I killed it with some giant spear from Terminal Dogma." She looks awkwardly around. "I... do you want to talk about it? Or... like, a hug?"

"I know Japanese people are all weird about it, but you and I are more sensible, I think."


Asuka shakes her head.

"You wouldn't believe how many hugs I got after that."

"It's just that it was the worst."

"Uh....good? Shinji is good at that, and Rei's pretty... um... nice too."

"Rei still won't talk about what it made her see. Kaworu either."

"I can understand that. Like I said, it's the worst. Give me head on fire any day, over that. The first thing it made me see...ropes came down from the ceiling and hanged everyone. Me included."

Asuka scratches her neck.

Asuka unconsciously touches her own neck. "Jesus fuck... I... yeah. Give me the fire." She shudders.

"Wait... you know about Mama? Where she is now?"


"I...yeah. Misato told us."

"Not...not really sure what I'm supposed to do about that."

Asuka blinks. "Wait, she told you? How did she find out? Shinji and I compared notes and I figured it out here. Then we tried talking to them while synched, and it worked."

"Sort of."


"I don't know. She's got the whole spy thing going."

"After it became impossible to deny the conspiracy, she sat us all down and told us everything."

"I was so mad I couldn't see straight."

"Wow. I bet she and Kaji are doing it. He's good at that." Asuka nods. "Yeah, I... I was pissed too, but man, Shinji was nearly ready to kill his dad."

"After he had a freak out about his whole family being crazy and/or evil."

"I never thought I'd say it, but as bad as he is, I'm glad Papa isn't like Commander Asshole."

"Shinji's mom told him... the whole conspiracy, and that she'd left a bunch of letters, pictures, videos of her for him to have growing up. And that Commander Asshole had... destroyed them all."

"I'd never seen Shinji so... that angry."

"Wait, isn't Shinji's mom...you know?"

"'You know' what?"


"A giant monster?"

"Yeah, she was. That's why he was freaking out. He was all... worried that he had some kind of 'tainted blood' thing, since his mom and dad were crazy-evil. It took me and Rei to cheer him up."


"No, I mean, isn't she Unit 01?"

"Or at least the core?"

"Yeah, she is. That's how Eva's work. Aren't yours the same?"


"Yeah, but...they can talk?"

"I never..."

"Have you ever talked to...Unit 02?"

Asuka nods, her face serious. "Yeah, we did. I... Mama's alive." She hesitates. "But... broken."


"Ah?"

"When we're synched, we can... push into the Core a bit, and talk, if you know they're there. It does... crazy things to your Synch Rate. We keep almost shooting past 100% unless we are careful. I think Doctor Bitch knows something's up. But... Mama answered." She pauses again. "....both of her."


"Both?"

"She's... I think she's still... split, from that experiment. There's a voice that sounds like the Mama we knew, and there's a voice..." Asuka wraps herself in her arms and runs her shoulders. "The other voice keeps... telling me to die with her."

"I... try to listen to the good one."


Asuka sighs and leans back in her chair.

"Damn it!"

"They ruin everything!"

"Yeah. But at least she's still alive. Not gone. There's got to be a way to get her out."

"Hikari got sucked into a Core, and came out. We know it can happen."


Asuka perks up slightly, then deflates.

"If it were that easy, no way would the Commander go through this whole thing."

"He'd just get his wife out. Instead of ending the whole world just to do that."

"That's exactly what my baka Shinji said. But... it's possible! We... she's there! There has to be a way!"

"I...maybe," Asuka sighs. Optimism doesn't come easily to her. "If we live that long."

"Damn it, I'm so mad."

"At SEELE?"

"SEELE. NERV. Gendo Ikari in particular."

"Yeah, fuck Commander Asshole. I'm pretty close to trying to shoot him myself."

"My Shinji i still half and half on that last one."

"Says he can't be too mad at him for trying to get back someone he loves."

"Or for making Rei."

"Not here. I don't think anyone is more pissed at Gendo Ikari than Shinji. Maybe Misato, once we told her that Commander Dickhead was part of setting up her dad to die in Antarctica."

Asuka skids to a verbal halt. ".....what was that last one?"


"What last one?"

"Rei?"

"Yes!" Asuka waves her hands wildly. "What the fuck do you mean 'he made Rei'? She's not a doll! And... she's not Shinji's sister or something, is she?"


Asuka's face contorts as her fiery tongue tries to fire off an explanation while something holds her back. After making several weird faces, she calms herself with a wrench of effort.

"I...shouldn't be the one to tell you."

"But you and your Rei need to have a talk."

"Soon."

Asuka leaps to her feet and starts pacing, as much as that's possible in the still fairly small room. "Oh what the fuck!? 'Made her'? He..." Asuka subsides into furious muttering, brow furrowed in intense thought.


"It's not as bad as you think! She's her own person."

"Mostly," Asuka adds, remembering something unpleasant.

She eventually stops, dropping heavily back on the bed. "I... it's not that. Look, I... after we saved her ass against the 14th Angel, Rei... told us she loves us. Shinji and I. Both."

"And... we... kind of love her back."

"Like... yes, that way."


Asuka's eyes bulge out.

"What?!"

"Rei's the only other person in my life who's ever said they love me. So... She and Shinji are..."

"I mean, Shinji and I are together, but... Rei is almost as important to me."

"So I don't care if she's artificial or something. She's still... Rei. I'm not going to... stop liking her."


"But...girls can't love girls!"

Asuka snorts. "Says who?"

"I'm the great Asuka Langely Soryu. I save the world regularly. If I want to love a girl, I can. And if the world doesn't like it, they can shove off."

"And...all three of you? That's...sick!"

Asuka frowns at her counterpart. "Sick?"


"Yeah! When you love someone, you're supposed to be faithful to them. Not...whatever it is you do!"

"Come on. We haven't done anything but a kiss. And we're not about to," she waves her hands vaguely, "Start doing anything perverted in the middle of class or something."

"We just... it's emotional, alright? Love. Not....porn."

"And I am faithful. Not even the end of the world is going to split me and Shinji. And we both like Rei. I'd throw myself in front of a gun for either of them."

"Because I know they'd do the same for me."


"Yeah, me too, but that doesn't mean I make out with her!"

"That only happened once!"

Asuka blinks. "Wait... you'd still... take a hit for her?"

"Well, yeah. Just because I'm not a sexual deviant doesn't mean I can't protect my friend."

"Any of us would take a hit for each other."

"Rei more than anyone."

"'M not a deviant," Asuka mutters.

"Shinji will happily confirm I'm into guys. It's not girls, just... Rei. She's special." Asuka sighs. "Sorry if it's weirding you out. Your world seems... kind of harder for 'us'."


"I...yeah. Maybe it is. Maybe it'd be easier if I could be like like you."

"Just say 'hey, guys, I want to make out too' and just join them."

"It would definitely be easier than reading all this old poetry books."

"I... wish you could. I mean...just... be here for a while." Asuka blinks. "Wait... huh? I...oh, Rei and Shinji are a thing?"


"Yeah, of course. I mean, they're a thing here too, right?"

"A...weird thing."

"Not... exactly? It's me and Shinji, and Rei kind of...orbiting us."


"...huh."

"How...did that happen?"

Asuka tries to contain her huge smile... and fails. "I...um... asked him if he was bored and... wanted to try a kiss. I was.. um... trying to play it off like 'haha, it's just a thing, I don't mean it. But...I did. And it was good. We... started talking. Found out how we're... just like each other. Mother gone, dad a jerk, no one wanted us but to be Pilots..."

"He... understood me. Wanted me. Liked me."

"And after... I got pulled into a... like, wormhole Angel. Trapped in it for most of a day. I thought I was going to die alone. When I... somehow got out, I... didn't want to wait anymore, since we could die any time."

"So he just goes for whichever girl kisses him first," Asuka scoffs. "Figures."

"It's not like that!" she scowls. "It was the talking! Because we... talked."

"That's all it took."

Asuka looks back at her memories of Rei and shakes her head in disbelief.

"I don't think he's the kind of guys who's into talking."

"He seems to like the silent type."

The hosting Asuka shrugs. "We do at least as much of that at night as the rest. I've never felt so close to someone. It's... incredibly freeing, to have him just... listen. I mean, he really listens to me. And gets it."

She looks down at the bed beside her, absently running her hand across the sheets. "I know he'll be there, in a fight or anything."

"I mean...yeah," Asuka says, remembering something else. "He can...do things. Say something and suddenly I'm not mad anymore."

"Sometimes."

"It's...why I wanted him."

"He just... yeah, does that. That...weird, quiet insight. He's a good guy."

"You...wanted him but... Rei... just kissed him first?"

"Huh..."

"Yeah. We were arguing about whether or not to end the world. I said no, she got angry, so she just grabbed him and kissed him."

"I mean...I think she already had him, really."

"....arguing about whether or not to end the world?"

"Yeah. I'm against it."

"Well, yeah! I...Rei isn't?!"

"She's fifty-fifty. Maybe sixty-forty."

Asuka just stares at her short-haired opposite. "What....the... fuck? Why?"

"I don't know. She's scared someone else will do it first. She wants to be in a cuddle pile with all of humanity. She wants to give Gendo what he wants. She's scared of losing people."

"Pick a reason."

"I...can get the rest, maybe, but she still wants to give Gendo what he wants?"

"Yeah. He...saved her or something, so she feels obligated. She promised to side with us over him, but it's hurting her."

"I think that's another reason she wants to pull the trigger - no more separation means no more conflict or pain."

Asuka opens her mouth, then subsides. "Ah... Ok, I can sort of see why Rei would... look at it like that. It's still wrong, but... I can get why. Rei's not... evil. She just doesn't want anyone to hurt. Ok...whew."

"You're still making me want to have a serious talk with our Rei, to make sure she's not... even thinking that."

"I don't think she is."

"Like I said - you really should have a talk."

"Damn right... I... shit, she's even told us she has things she's been holding back, out of fear we'll be in danger from 'knowing too much', and we've let it be since we trust her, but... she shouldn't have to be afraid we'd hate her for being artificial. She's still Rei, still human and everything."

"Yeah. I...get why she's scared, though. If she told me before she actually did, I don't think I'd have taken it well."

"There was a...hair pulling phase."

Asuka smiles weakly. "Yeah, I kind of...ah... hated her, the first couple months. She freaked me out."

"Tell me about it."

"She kind of grows on you, though, yeah?"

"It wasn't all her fault, her acting weird. Our.... our Rei was being drugged a lot by NERV. Like, tranqued to the gills, every day."

"Huh."

"I think ours was just weird."

"I don't know. We're throwing around all this information, but if there are differences like that..."

"I don't know how much of it will be useful."

"I think we need to use the time we have left to compare notes."

"Not about...personal stuff."

"About Angels and conspiracies and such."

"That's...kind of what started us to being more friendly. I kind of freaked out at the idea of NERV drugging us Pilots, and told her to stop taking them. Surprisingly, she listened. And that made her start to... open up." She shrugs. "Anyhow... well, you've had different Angels. So yeah, let's go over them. Maybe we can avoid surprises."

"And maybe you can come back, I dunno. Ok... My first Angel was a giant fish thing..."

"The first Angel I was there for had ninety nine faces and cried blood..."

"....you win."

*SCENE CLOSES*

 

[Strypgia]

SIRP-A&T Cross-encounter #3! The Shinjis!

This did not quite go as either of us expected. We both thought it would end up much more confrontational, given A&T!Shinji is not happy with Gendo Ikari, while SIRP!Shinji isn't nearly so angry. But Shinji's own depression and feeling of straining under all the pressure of being strong for everyone shone through far more for both of them.

As usual, A&T!Shinji in white, SIRP!Shinji in blue.

*SCENE OPENS*​

Shinji reflexively made some tea and set out a cup for... himself and himself. He kept glancing awkwardly at the other boy, finding trouble looking at him even after he ran out of kitchen delaying tactics. "Er... so... are you... um..." He gives up after a moment. "I don't even know where to start. Asuka is a lot better at this than me."

"I...yeah. I'm...okay," Shinji guesses at the appropriate thing to say. "A little worried. We can't afford to get stuck here."

"Ah, no offense."

"No, no! I get it!" Shinji #1 waves his hands. "I know how... critical we are to fighting the Angels. I mean... is there anything left to fight if you're all here?"

"All we had was a 'Jet Alone' thing by one of the old zaibatsu. It was nuclear powered, and ran out of control during the only test. They shut it down."

"We have one of those! It had the nuclear reactor taken out. Now it's powered by something else. N2 reactor, I think."

"There is also a bigger machine, called T-RIDEN-T."

"And...Kaworu. He doesn't have an Eva, but he's still there."

"A...trident? It's some kind of navy thing?"

"No, it's...a big machine. Much bigger than Jet Alone. It's kind of pointy. Needs three pilots to operate. They're our friends."

"If we're not there, they're going to get killed," Shinji finishes grimly.

"Three more Pilots? That...sounds kind of neat, really. Having more friends. All of us here are. Were they students at our school too?" His face darkens at the last part. "Oh."

"Yeah, Toji and Kensuke. And Hikari, sort of. We never hang out enough. Ever since we all moved in together, we kind of stick to our own group."

"Other people don't understand."

Shinji #1 smiles weakly. "Yeah... they can't. Hikari's a Pilot here, too. Not Kensuke or Touji, though. But... Misato-san said pretty much all the kids in our class are... 'potential Pilots'. And that...none of us have living mothers."

"There's a reason for that," Shinji cautiously offers, not sure how much he should say.

Shinji nods. "We know. Asuka and I figured it out after Hikari got... sucked into the Core of Unit-03. She... talked to her mother in there."

"Then we tried it in our own. It worked."

"Mother is... there."

"They...talk?" Shinji shudders.

"I thought the Angel was lying."

"Does that mean..."

Shinji trails off, his eyes filling with fear and sadness.

"They can... talk to us, yeah. If you concentrate while you're synched....you can talk to them."

"Mother is..." Shinji shifts awkwardly. "She's alive. She loves us. But... she's... kind of... evil."

"Evil? I...don't understand."

"Do... you know about SEELE? And Father?"

Shinji nods, briefly.

"Mother was... part of that too. So was her father. The grandfather we've never even met."

"She was... part of Second Impact."

"She helped stop Adam?" Shinji doesn't think that's what the other boy is driving at, but it's worth a shot.

Shinji shakes his head sadly. "I wish. She... knew it was coming. So did father. They... helped. Father made sure he left Antarctica the day before, with copies of all their research, so nothing important" he snarls the word "Would be lost. Like Misato-san's father was."

"They knew!"

"Three billion dead, and our family was right in the middle of it." Shinji whispers, face bent downward.

Shinji shudders.

"It's...hard to believe that. Everything they've done...it's been horrible, but it always has a purpose. What would be the purpose of waking up Adam? Why not just attack him in his sleep?"

Shinji fiddles with his tea cup. "I... Mother told me everything when I first made contact. I... I think us being born changed her. She used to be on board with SEELE's plan. But once she had us..."

"It ruined everything," Shinji finishes the familiar mantra.

"...she went from wanting what SEELE wanted to... stopping it."

"Ruined? Um...no, I don't think so."

"She... she said she did the Contact Experiment for us. To make sure there was a future."

His face clouds. "She left letters, videos, explaining everything for me... but father destroyed them all."

"Like I said - purpose," Shinji mutters. "All those mothers...hundreds of them, gone. But she started with herself. All because it was the only way to build the Evangelions."

"Everything they do is like that."

"And I - we - are just like them."

Shinji shivers. "I...try not to think like that. Asuka and Rei and Misato-san keep... telling me I'm not. I try to believe them."

"Try not to be like them."

"Misato told me that too. But...I am like Father."

"I manipulate people to get my own way."

"And I keep secrets just like he does."

"And if Rei was gone...the way Mother is...I think I would be like Father too."

Shinji shivers again. "I... I wish I didn't understand what you mean. But... I do. I know if... if something happened to Asuka, I'd... I'd probably go crazy. Maybe Rei could stop me, but... I almost... when she got sucked into this... wormhole Angel, and I thought she might be gone? I... it was bad."

"Rei said later I was... acting like Father. Cold and... not there."

Shinji hunches in on himself a bit. "I don't want to be him."

"I hate him."

Shinji doesn't say anything.

He just reaches out and holds his other self's hand.

Shinji bursts out something halfway between a laugh and a sob. "Heh... it....this is kind of how Asuka and I got together. Because we understood each other." He tries to smile.

"Asuka..." Shinji mutters, frankly not that surprised, "...good luck with that."

"I don't think I could handle it."

His smile is a little steadier now. "I don't think I could live without it anymore. She's... my heart. I mean, I love Rei too, but... Asuka understands me, and vice versa. Once we.... just talked it was... like the sun rising."

"I...think I can understand. Maybe if things were different. I mean, I'm definitely attracted to Asuka. But...I only love Rei."

He laughs again, a little ruefully.. "I can... see it too. If Asuka had never come, or something? But... I like what we have. Um... Rei loves us. Both."

Shinji blinks. "Both?"

Shinji #1 scratches the back of his head. "Um... She... kind of fell in love with us both. She told us after the 14th Angel. We... kind of love her back, but... Asuka and I don't think we could... all handle it, and Rei hasn't pressed. She just likes... being around us."

"So... I'm with Asuka, but I'd do anything for either of them."

"But aren't they like..." Shinji makes a windmilling motion with his fists.

"Not... anymore. They used to be, yeah, but... Um... right after Asuka and I got together, Asuka decided she was going to... um... help Rei shop for more...'girly' clothes. When we went to Rei's apartment, and Asuka saw what it was like, she flipped out, and demanded Misato move her in next to us. That made Rei... start to look at Asuka as not so much a... rival."

"...there was also ....the drugs."

"Father and Doctor Akagi were drugging her, to keep her numb and obedient. Asuka convinced her to stop taking them."

"That's...weird. Nothing like that ever happened."

"Rei is quiet and she doesn't always know how to express hereself, but she's never been numb."

"I think your world might be nicer..."

Shinji looks around the small kitchen.

"Maybe," he concedes. "When Rei and Asuka moved in with us, we got a whole inn to ourselves."

Shinji #1 blinks. "A whole... inn? What?"

"Misato-san can barely afford this apartment."

"i think NERV pays for it. We needed a larger place. This apartment is too small for four people, and it's definitely too small for six."

"It's...nice."

"Six? I...how? We're only up to the Fifth Child here, and Kaworu-kun and Rei still live in their own places." He pauses. "Actually, I'm not sure where Kaworu-kun lives, but it's nearby. Rei lives next door."

"Kaworu, yes. The other one is Mari. Kaworu's probably told you about her."

"....who?"

"Kaworu-kun's been... kind of tight lipped about Germany, actually."

"Just that he likes it here a lot more. And Asuka says she never saw him there before she left, so... we're curious."

"She's an old friend of his. I'm sure he's happy to see her again. Even if it's just another version."

"Huh... he's never mentioned her here. Or anything about his past, really. He... talks to Rei more than us, but he's been a good friend. He taught Rei the violin in just a few weeks!"

"Huh. She didn't learn that fast when I tried it."

"Rei is... kind of weird. She can learn really fast when she focuses."

"How is Rei? And Kaworu? How are they...dealing with everything?"

"Everything? Um... well, the last Angel...attacked their minds. They...screamed a lot. I don't honestly know. They... haven't talked about it yet." He fiddles with his now empty teacup and pushes it away.

"I hope they'll be ok."

Shinji sucks in air through his teeth and shakes his head.

"What about you? How are you doing? In general?"

Shinji gives a black laugh. "I'm in love, I protect my friends and the whole world doing a job I kind of hate, and I sort of want to punch my father in the face until he has no teeth left. Same for you?"

"Yeah. But it's more like...do you feel that things are...getting harder?"

"Threatening to become overwhelming, maybe?"

"The Angels? I... kind of? The last two were... hard. Rei would have died against the 14th if Asuka and I hadn't hijacked Unit-03 to help her."

"The Angels...SEELE...everything. I want to protect my friends...but I don't know if I can.

"Misato always says I shouldn't try to carry that burden, but I can't just sit back and hope."

"Oh... um... yeah."

"I... I know I'm... I couldn't do this without Asuka and Rei. They... count on me. And Misato... she... she and Kaji say they're digging into the SEELE thing. I... talk to Mother, I guess."

"She's... incredibly smart. Even more than Asuka. So... I talk to her a bit. It's just...hard to keep 2nd Impact far from my mind, though."

"Don't you... talk to your Rei?"

"All the time. And all the others too."

"We used to have so many barriers between us...and now we have so few."

"And I think we're all scared."

Shinji smiles wanly. "Well, we are kind of doing that whole 'defenders of the Earth' thing. Just a little pressure."

"I don't even want to think what we'd be like if we didn't have each other to lean on. I'd be 90% crazy or something."

Shinji nods emphatically.

"It's just that...an Angel showed me what happens when a hundred people who love and trust each other charge a machine gun."

"Talking is important...but it's not enough."

He nods. "I know. But it gives me the strength to keep going. The rest... All I can do is Pilot, and protect my friends. Misato-san and Kaji-san do the... spy stuff. They say they're trying to come up with a plan to deal with SEELE but..." he shrugs. "I'm just a Pilot. What else can I do?"

"Mother... said she put herself in Unit-01 to... make sure she was there. When SEELE tries their...thing. She says she's going to... help me stop it, if it gets that far."

Shinji looks like he wants to say something, but stops himself and nods instead.

"What? You...you had something?"

"It's nothing. Just...thinking about how fragile the world is."

"I know we're not a hundred percent doomed, but I really wish the number was closer to zero."

"Yeah. And that it didn't come down to us and our friends to save it. I... really don't feel like the hero that's going to save the world. I feel like... like a man facing 7 tigers with 6 bullets."

"And the tigers are on fire."

Shinji guffaws.

"Right. That's it exactly."

"Funny how we're... so alike, but not." He smiles a little. "I'm glad to have met you. It's... weirdly comforting."

"Yeah. Talking to you...it reminds me of talking to Misato."

"Even if it doesn't change anything, I usually feel better."

"Does that make sense?"

Shinji smiles again, nodding. "She tries hard to... help us. Even when we had to...um... sleep separately, she gave us some leeway when out nightmares got bad. Asuka and I, I mean."

Shinji smiles back.

"She tried that on Rei and me."

"Tried?"

"Rei went to Father and got permission to sleep wherever she wants."

Shinji blinks. "....and that worked? Wait.... your Father knows?!"

"We try to hide...most things from him. But I'm not sure if we've actually hidden anything."

"Father's been playing this game for a very long time."

"I think he knows that we want to stop him. And he's buttering us up to get us to stick with him."

"That or lulling us into a false sense of security."

"....true. I... hope he doesn't know about... um... a lot of things. Asuka and I. Rei being off the drugs... stuff like that."

"He...scares me."

"I... I'm terrified that if he finds out Rei isn't... listening to him anymore, he'll... do something to her."

"And if he does know...and he hasn't done anything...what is he going to do, and when?"

"That's what I'm scared of."

"Me too. I... if he tries to hurt Rei, or separate Asuka and I, I... don't know what I'll do."

"He... He's calling me in to see him, tomorrow. Over 'insubordination', because I ignored his order not to sortie against the last Angel. It was hurting Rei, and he wouldn't let me go to her. So I...asked Mother to help, and went anyway."

"He's calling me too. To see Mother."

"He's...not supposed to know that I know."

"...what the heck is up with your father?"

"I don't know!" Shinji almost howls. "That's why I'm scared. The Angels are dangerous, but at least I can fight them. Father...I don't know what he's going to do, because he's smarter than me."

"....it's like looking in a mirror," Shinji #1 jokes weakly. "Yeah, I... I have no idea what to do if Father... does something. Maybe tell him I can talk to Mother, but... you can't even do that, can you?"

"I think he wants me to try. They're setting up special experiments. So...I doubt that will stop him."

"....be careful. I... Hikari got pulled in by her mother to protect her when an Angel infected her Eva, but... I don't know how it works. Mother's not... trying to pull me in or anything. We just talk."

"An Angel showed me my mother talking to me. I thought it was just an illusion, but now I'm scared...what if it was real? What if it actually got her to talk to me?"

"Try talking to her next time you're in Unit-01?"

"I wouldn't trust an Angel."

"All they do is try to kill us."

"I...yeah. I'll try."

"I need to get back to Unit 01 anyway."

"So I can go...fight my tigers."

"You're... not in it? Did you get fired too?"

"What? No, I meant..fired?"

"It's a long story. I'll make some more tea and tell you."

"I...yeah. I think I need to hear this."

*SCENE CLOSES*​

 

[Strypgia]

SIRP-A&T Cross #4: The Pilots of Unit-03​

This was another one that went in unexpected directions. The backing frame we're using here is 'The SIRP Pilots are popped over to the A&T-verse in some Leliel-shenanigans', which produces a mismatch, since the Pilot of Unit-03 is either Mari (who does not exist at all in A&T, as far as we know), and Kaworu or Hikari Horaki on the other. So what we ended up with was Mari getting to meet A&T!Kaworu. Mari gets to meet the analogue of her closest friend, and A&T-Kaworu meets... a crazy girl he has never heard of.

It did not go as expected. Mari thought she'd just have fun messing with a boy she thought she knew well, but A&T!Kaworu is in a not-happy place, thanks to Arael's mind-rape. The result was unexpectedly revealing for them both.
Spoilered for length, and for revealing some aspects of Kaworu's state of mind that are a bit 'ahead of schedule' versus what's been revealed in A&T. It will come up in the regular update coming tonight, so just skip reading for now if you don't want it revealed just yet. Though what he's thinking isn't very new, it's just much starker now. Arael was... harsh.

Spoiler: Mari Meets Kaworu

*SCENE OPENS*

"So, let me get this straight. You have no idea who I am?"

"Not a bit." Kaworu regarded the alarmingly energetic girl cautiously. "I don't recall ever meeting a 'Mari' of any sort."

"Well, then!"

Mari approaches Kaworu with a feral grin, like a cheetah stalking a gazelle. Her nostrils widen in a predatory sniff.

She effortlessly slips under the boy's guard and hugs him from behind, pressing their bodies together.

"So, how is my favorite half-Angel?" she murmurs in his ear. "How is the apocalypse going? Did you pre-arrange to get killed by someone if you give it a try?"

"Eeeberyeebleyabble!" He is taut as a board.

"Wait wait wait! What?! I... I..." He is now also frozen mentally.

....alas, parts of him that are more embarrassing are also rather stiff.

Kaworu.exe has encountered an error, and needs to reboot.

Mari grins, her plan to confuse the boy in at least five distinct ways apparently bearing fruit.

She slightly relaxes her hold and waits for him to get some control over his tongue back.

"I I I I I I I I apologize for my body's.... reaction!" he gabbles after a long, excruciatingly embarrassing moment. His brain has not yet gotten as far as even trying to pull away from the hug, particularly as most of his body is enjoying it.

"Please do not slap me!"

Mari openly giggles, finally letting go.

"It's fine. I just wanted to cut through the awkwardness with some mega-awkwardness."

"Now, do you or do you not have an Apocalypse Buddy?"

Kaworu looks down. "This is going to take some time to subside." He looks helplessly at her. "I.... you know?"

"You know a Kaworu, and he has told you? Of...what we are?"

"I am your Apocalypse Buddy in my world," Mari says a little proudly. "If you fail to resist the Call, I'm the one who has to stop you."

"Well, and the others too, but I was first."

He stares at her, looking mildly frightened. He swallows. "....Ayanami has promised she will... make it quick and painless, if she has to. And that she will mourn me."

"I've told no one else. I am... afraid to."

Mari nods.

"That's cool. It took me a while to tell them I was a European spy."

"When you know them enough and trust them enough...you'll know it's time."

He nods. "I... want to tell them. I want to trust them. I... like them. They've been kind to me, and... watching Shinji find happiness is... beautiful."

"But I... know how this ends. I... can see other worlds. I've seen my death a thousand times."

"Or worse, my victory."

"Oh, yeah?" Mari's intrigued. "That's a new one."

"Can you see my world?"

"Probably? I... see many. How would I pick yours out? What is... distinctive? I..." He squints. "I have seen a girl like you before, but... not often. You are... new? Unusual? Sometimes you are older, like Doctor Akagi's age."

"In most of them, I die."

"Most of them? That's..."

Mari shakes her head.

"In the ones you die...do you have friends?"

"....sometimes. Sometimes Shinji is my friend, for as long as I have. He... usually does not take it well when I... yield to the Call. I am still grateful that he kills me."

"You are friends with your Nagisa?"

Mari nods enthusiastically.

"That's...good. Um... are you... dating him?"

Mari bursts into laughter. She laughs so hard she cries and has to wipe her eyes with her sleeve several times.

"I take it this means the idea is rather silly to you?" Kaworu looks a bit let down. "So much for that being the thing to 'look' for amongst my visions."

"Nothing personal. It's just that...how do I explain it? You can see souls, right?"

"Can you see mine?"

Mari steps back, spreading her arms wide.

"I can. And...hear them, as well. Like music." He sounds uncomfortable with the idea that more people know. He focuses on her.

"Right. Kaworu always says we're...counterpoints."

"Musically speaking."

"Does that seem right to you?"

"You are...bright and... not exactly 'loud', but... vigorous. And yes, very different from myself. Though that's somewhat expected, as I am... rather uniquely souled."

"Right. That kind of...reflects in dating preferences."

"Kaworu's usually into the lonely, forlorn types."

"And I'm...not looking for anything serious."

"Definitely not as serious as we would be if we did get together."

"....you have no idea how heartening that is. That... I could even have that. Serious. Intense. ....Real."

Mari nods, steps closer, and puts a hand on Kaworu's chest.

"You deserve to be loved."

"I just....don't want to put my heart somewhere it can get broken so easily."

He looks away. "Thank you anyway. It's... encouraging to know that you would even consider it. I imagine he... has told you how alone it feels. To be... me."

Mari shakes her head. "He's not alone. Not anymore. Misato and all the pilots...we're all as close as family."

"I don't know how that translates to romantic prospects...but I think we make beautiful music together."

"....is your Ayanami... seeing anyone?"

"Not my Kaworu. He said they could have ended up as anything, including lovers, but that's just not how it worked out."

"She and Shinji got together."

"It's adorable."

He wilts a bit. "That is... good. They both deserve happiness. But what about Miss Soryu? They are... intensely happy here, together. I have 'seen' what she is like when alone. It is not good."

"Ace? She's...okay, I guess. She took it kind of hard at first, but Misato helped defuse the situation."

"Ayanami and your Nagisa are at least friends, I hope?"

"Friends, yeah. Maybe not super close."

"I think the Adam-Lilith thing makes things...awkward."

"Ayanami is my friend here. I....yes, it does. I... wish it did not."

"Everything would be so much easier if I was not... me."

Mari shrugs.

"Maybe, but then you wouldn't be you. You'd be someone else."

"So from your subjective viewpoint it wouldn't be easier at all."

"Unlikely I'd be someone fighting the Call every moment, or wishing I was not myself so I didn't have to fight the simultaneous urges to kill and mate with my only friend!" he bursts out. "Or have to talk myself out of suicide and omnicide every fucking day!"

He wilts back. "....I'm sorry. It's... been bad lately."

"You're scared of dying?" Mari's face shows concern. "You got hit by the mindrape Angel, didn't you?"

He nods, jerkily. "I tried to shield Re-... Ayanami. The Positron Cannon did nothing. She was screaming. My AT-Field barely slowed it down for 2 seconds. Then... it had me."

"Every nightmare vision of my death, all the bad ones.... worlds where I killed Shinji first. Or Rei. Or everyone."

He shivers.

Mari moves in to hug him again, this time much more gently.

"It was the same for him."

"He used to be philosophical about death. After the Angel hit him...he got afraid."

"He's trying to distract himself by doing crazy things."

Mari smiles, a little crookedly.

"I encourage him."

"Thank you." He hardly reacts to the hug this time. "It's best if I... end soon. Better for everyone," he says low and calm.

"Before I can't...stop."

"Can you end it?"

"I thought SEELE would just bring you back?"

"It depends on...how I do it. Rei can...make sure."

"I've... tried other ways. The Call won't let me."

Mari squeezes a little harder.

"Look, I'm not going to tell you not to kill yourself."

"But...you have people who will miss you."

"People you need to help protect."

"It hurts."

"Every day."

"I don't want to feel like this anymore."

His arms wrap almost...no, no almost. Definitely desperately around hers.

"I can't tell anyone but Rei or they'll hate me or try to kill me and she's hurt and I saw myself killing them all and I.... can't hold on."

Mari shrugs.

"Cry me a river. I don't want to think about what it's going to be like in seventy years when I can barely walk by myself."

"It keeps me up at night sometimes, but I'm not thinking about killing myself."

"...anymore."

He jerks up. "No! You're... why? You're normal! You're alive! You have... everything!"

"Because," Mari explains patiently. "An Angel fucked with my head."

"Same as you."

"Made me see things that are technically true."

"And to feel bad about them."

"And you have... everyone on your team to talk to?"

"The first night after the Angel we all slept in the living room."

"And screamed."

"Humans and half-Angels alike."

"So what you have in your head right now...it has barely anything to do with your actual problems."

"Trust me."

"It was there before. It's just... in sharper relief now. It mostly showed me memories. And... I've seen so many worlds. It almost never... ends well."

"I just don't... see a way out that isn't... asking Ayanami or... you, to just... cut to the end."

"I asked her out, you know? Badly. But... I meant it."

"I feel... less alone with her. And... um... Lilim 'urges' block the Call."

"Based on your mood, I'm guessing...wait, they do? Are you sure?"

He blushes and looks well away from Mari's legs. "V-very. The first time Ayanami grabbed me and held me close like you did I... um... reacted. And it blocked it, for as long as... those thoughts lasted."

"....still happening."

"Is it warm in here?"

Even Mari blushes a little.

"I-in my defense, you are... um..." He searches for the right word. "....yummy?"

"Do...other thoughts work?"

"Gluttony? Sloth?"

"Rage?"

"Ah...so far just... lust. I have not tried the others much. I think gluttony does, a little. But... the urge to mate is... very intrinsic to the Lilim form. It...cuts right past even the subconscious. I think that's why it works. 'Root access', so to speak."

"And... Ayanami is... exciting when angry."

"And you can tell these things for sure? You can feel the Call all the time?"

"Always. Except when I am..." he dribbles off into embarrassed mutters something like 'thinking of Ayanami'.

"I'm...trying to figure out if you two...work the same way," Mari explains.

"Because if you do...some pretty drastic measures may need to be taken once I'm back home."

"...I think we should roughly work the same? Our flesh should be highly similar. There are limited ways SEELE could have altered things, and still kept us viable."

"Your team... all know about Ayanami and I, correct?"

"Okay. So...if NERV drafts several dozen women, working around the clock..."

"I assume physical exhaustion also works..."

"I'm sorry, what?"

Kaworu's eyes bug out. "What are you planning?!"

"You just said there's a 100% certain way to block the Call, right?"

"We've done crazier things to stop an Angel."

Kaworu gibbers unintelligibly for a moment. "It... it does not have to be like that!"

"When I... um... use that method, there is a....um... 'lag time' afterwards. It's not... look, I need to sleep sometimes, and that helps me... relax."

"....suddenly I am very glad Ayanami is not here to hear this."

"Or Shinji-kun. Or...anyone."

Mari deflates.

"Sorry. I thought...I thought there was a way to definitely save you."

Kaworu looks stricken. "I... don't know. It works as a stopgap, at least. Buys time. I just don't know how... to do any more than that."

"....though...."

"It's not just the lust. It's... the rest, too. I felt... strong enough to hold it at bay for a long time, when Ayanami... held me. Told me I was... her friend. And that if I was not... what I am, she would... not immediately reject the idea of us...as more."

"I...really don't know about any of this. I don't think my Kaworu feels the Call 24/7 the way you do."

"...Unless he's been lying to protect my feelings, in which case I'm going to rip all his hair out."

"He might be... different. How old is he?"

"About my age? SEELE didn't age him up in the tube, if that's what you mean."

"I am 5 months, 18 days, 9 hours, and 27 minutes old. If he has had more time at greater distance to... learn to control it, he might consciously feel it less."

Mari sighs.

"...which means I can't ever tell if the things that help you would help him too."

"You say that things almost never end well. That means sometimes they do, right?"

"I...can only remember a couple of worlds where it does not end in my death or everyone else's. And those worlds are... very different than ours."

"...in one Shinji and I are detectives."

"Is there anything they have in common?"

Kaworu's smile is wan. "There usually are no Angels. Or at least, very different, smaller ones. Not like these."

"There are only... a tiny number where there are, and I do not... fall."

"And those ones... I..." He looks away. "I am stopped by..."

"....love."

"...I'm guessing love for manufactured objects doesn't count?"

"No."

"The only one I can remember clearly, it was... Shinji-kun. He... talked me down. When I was on the way to Terminal Dogma. His love was... stronger than the Call."

"But that's one world out of hundreds. Thousands."

".....manufactured objects?" He swerves back.

"Yeah! It should be totally valid!"

"It's an...attachment you have to the world."

"Why should it count less than romance?"

"I...suppose? I don't think I've ever seen an attachment that strong, however."

"Like you said, you probably haven't been around long enough. My Kaworu...he has a minor obsession with the things Lilim make."

"Because only Lilim make them. It takes the...Fruit of Knowledge to build a machine that builds machines that build things for you."

"Does that do anything for you?"

"I... have the same... thing, sort of. I cannot... create like Lilim can."

"I can play a concerto just fine, but I cannot write a new one, for example."

"And the fact that Shinji-kun can is... fascinating."

"I literally cannot understand how he does it."

"But I watched him do it. Just... sit down, and write it. Out of nothing!"

"Right. So...did that help with your Call any?"

"A very small amount, I think. It did distract me a little. But thinking of R- Ayanami in her underwear is more... um... effective."

"...noted."

"Let's drop this for now. How is everyone else?"

Kaworu's smile is more genuine now. "Shinji-kun... I have never seen him this happy. He and Miss Soryu are... the finest symphonies in the world are pale imitations of their Song. That is part of why I am... firm on not giving in to the Call. I cannot bear to... break their harmony. Ayanami is... a friend. Who has promised to help me. Horaki-san is... gracious. She allows me to Pilot her Unit-03 without fuss."

"She is dating Suzuhara-san, here."

"Oh yeah, that one. She tells me to listen in class more."

"...I'm not a very disciplined student."

Kaworu snorts. A laugh escapes him. It grows, until he is holding his sides and laughing until he's crying.

"Really? I hadn't imagined! Ahahahaha!"

"Hey, I'm smart. Do you know how many languages I can speak? I just...learn by doing."

"As do I. German, Japanese, English, Russian, and Urdu. You?"

"Not Urdu. But also Chinese, Spanish, Arabic, and French."

"Anyway, on my end, things are going...okay."

"We're all working together to stop SEELE and Gendo."

"And...everyone knows everything."

"No more secrets."

"I...envy you."

"Only Ayanami knows of me. And I her. We are both... too afraid of what SEELE or NERV might do if we said any more."

"Yeah. When they figured out how much Misato was influencing you...they slapped a bomb collar on your neck."

Kaworu's eyes widen. "A what?!"

"I don't think they were going to set it off. It was just a 'fuck you' to her."

Kaworu nervously touches his neck. "It... wouldn't hurt anyone else, would it?"

"Well, not anymore. Misato's had it disabled."

"....could I have it?"

"...maybe."

He winces.

"I could... give the trigger to Shinji-kun. I could trust him to... do what I asked."

"Would it stop you? If you were at full power?"

"I think so. My Core, my S2 Organ, are here," he taps his throat, right on his Adam's Apple, "And a focused blast there should... break them. End me."

"Very definitely if I did not attempt to block it with an AT-Field."

"If you really want to give him a way to kill you...I say just talk to him."

"You said you die in most worlds anyway, right? So if the others are ready for you, that should be more than safe enough."

"I don't think SEELE can afford to hurt them for knowing. Not at this juncture."

"It took all of us to stop the last Angel."

"We are... not so lucky here, I think. We already have more Pilots than Evangelions, and I am positive Commander Ikari knows what I am. Ayanami said she had to tell them."

"And... I know there is only one other Angel left besides me."

"I suspect SEELE and NERV know this too."

"That's...rough. I guess it's risky, then. Still, if I had to pick? I'd want to know."

"I... want to tell them. Shinji-kun and Miss Soryu, at least. They might... accept it. I... do not think Major Katsuragi would be as... open. She loves her Children... but hates the Angels as much."

Mari shrugs. "Start with that, then. If your Shinji is anything like ours, he's not going to be able to hate someone who basically took a bullet for Rei."

"He... I think he might, yes. Accept us. It's just... aside from the danger from SEELE and NERV.... well, our Shinji-kun is a terrible liar. Once he and Miss Soryu know, I do not think they can conceal that from Major Katsuragi for long."

"Our Misato has been like a mother to all of us. The best one ever. Even to you. But...I don't want to make assumptions. This is a different world."

"But...your judgment is impaired too, right?"

"Because the Angel made you hurt?"

"...possibly. Our Major is... she has been very kind, but I am a recent arrival, and still quite an outsider. Ayanami says they suspect me of being SEELE's creature. Right of them to do so, but I do not know how to elide that without revealing everything."

"And yes. I think. I am... up until yesterday I was still bleeding from the nose and ears from the aftereffects of the Angel's attack."

Mari sighs.

"I wish I had answers for you."

"You're just making me all confused. That's supposed to be my job."

Kaworu laughs again, a little sadder. "You are helping anyhow, Miss Makinami. That you and your Nagisa are close friends, and you do not automatically reject the concept that there could be more is encouraging me more than almost anything I have heard in weeks. Months."

"That more is possible."

"I'm happy to hear there might be a way to save you. Both of you."

"Even if I'm still figuring out a way to Katsuragi it."

He nods. "Between you and our Ayanami, I... have hope, sometimes. Or at least, the confidence that they will stop me, if nothing else."

"There's just... still times where the Call feels so right...."

"It is literally my purpose in existing."

Mari shakes her head.

"Nah. That's just some...leftover Angelic instinct. Same as the kind Lilim get telling them to eat sugar."

"Your existence is an abomination. It has no purpose, because it was never supposed to happen."

"Which means you're free to forge your own path."

"Isn't that right, 'Tabris'?"

He winces again. "My title is more than a little bitterly ironic. The Angel of Free Will, who has no choice."

He sighs. "I don't know. Maybe."

"I can choose, yes. But... I have to consciously do so, over and over, constantly. It's like... trying to clench a muscle, and then never relax it."

Mari screws up her face.

"Nngh. I hate talking about this stuff."

"Instead do you want to hear about some of the things I've tricked you into doing?"

He smiles, honestly. "Please do. I have not lived long enough to have made friends like you and he sound like. And it is obscurely pleasing to hear stories of a world where I have."
"Okay. So, like I said, you've been on an Anti-Buddhism kick lately. And you asked me for fashion advice..."

"....You didn't...."

*SCENE CLOSES* ​

 

[MoroseMobius]

In which Kaworu attempts creativity

What to do, what to do, what. To. Do? Never before had so few, simple words had carried so much meaning for Kaworu. Thanks to the monthly calendar that he had been supplied with, he knew Christmas was fast approaching. And it, like so many things with which he had no idea as to their meanings, had been explained by a trip to the local library's reference books. Which meant that now that he knew what Christmas was, he now simply would have to take part. Which, in turn led to his current conundrum. The others had been fairly simple, thanks to Kaworu's ample budget: Shinji would be receiving a record player and Handel's Water Music (not Messiah. NEVER Messiah) on vinyl; Asuka would be given a German copy of the Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkrutz (it made for good reading when one was in the mood for absurdity); Kensuke was to be sent an anonymous package with several high quality camera lenses, and a note to use them wisely; other still would receive less lavish but still tasteful presents. Only one remained. Her.

Extensive questioning of his fellow pilots had been supremely unhelpful. It seemed none of them (or Kensuke, for that matter), knew what he should get her. The closest any had gotten was when Major Katsuragi had mentioned that Rei's walls were fairly bare. But then, that also made the idea of purchasing a painting for her as difficult a prospect as any other gift. Two Days he had spent thinking on this. It had driven him to the point of distraction, beyond the point of anything else, less Rei's gift to him.

Then, on the third day, it happened; he had wandered into a part of Tokyo-3 he had rarely visited, and tucked away between a jeweler's and a tailor's, he found it: An art supply store. Like a man dying of thirst, he entered the store as if it were a sparkling fountain, and of its wares he did drink greedily. Reference books, paint brushes, oil paints, acrylics, water colors, spray paints, canvases, reams of paper, modelling clay, it all lay before him. And he had no idea what to do with it. As he stared at the potential before him, his throat worked, his eyelid twitched, and the great irony of it all fell upon him: he simply lacked the one thing that could not be sold, the creative spark which drives an artist.

He returned a day later, with a conspirator in tow. Strange as he may be, the enigmatic Ryoji Kaji was sympathetic to the young man's anguish, and had offered his services as an "idea man" of sorts, and while Kaworu knew he could not create, he certainly could change. As they walked the aisles, the Older man questioned the teen. What style? What paint? What surface? What brush? Would there be a subject? If so, what or whom would it be? After over an hour of questions, answers, changes to answers, choices of products, second guesses at those choices, and one final check-out, the two parted ways. One would return home to begin their work, the other to wherever it was he did with his free time (Kaworu secret thought it was ways to annoy either the Major (primarily via romance) or the Commander (primarily via his surface job as a UN inspector)).

Some days later, smelling of paint and thinners, the young albino emerged from his apartment onto his balcony. Behind him, within the messy room, was a rather large canvas. It was far wider than it was tall, set upon a wooden frame. It had taken some work, but the wire that had been set into the frame would do well to hold it on a wall. The painting itself ran an easy three feet across, set as a landscape. A great many tubes of paint had been drained for it, and they lay in their numbers around the room. It was something Kaworu had seen only a few times, but a storm two days in had made memorizing the colors and lines easy. It had taken a bit of convincing for Kensuke to part with a camera that had a panoramic lens, but it had been well worth the invested time for an additional reference. And now it stood drying, his great work complete.

Kaworu smiled. It felt good to make something, even if it was simply a reproduction of something else. No, it wasn't a reproduction. It was his version. His interpretation. He hoped the others would like it. That she would like it.

It would be a pain to get up the four flights of stairs, though.





It may not be to the standard others have set, but here's my go at an omake. Blame @octobersanctuary for this things existence. Edit: I know the gifts aren't canon, but fuck it, this thing isn't either.

 

[Strypgia]

Ok.... well, as usual, when I started writing, this exploded.
Discord chat, largely with @Alex , gave me the idea to do a crack-mashup of Evangelion and The Hangover. Predictably, the results are also shot through with WAFF, because well... Me.

It's also hit 5k before I've gotten them out of the hotel room.
So, here's Part 1 of ??? of Evangelion: The Hangover. This may or may not be mixed with A&T writing as I go forward.
To be clear, this is not A&T's universe. This is early 2021, 3rd Impact never came, and SEELE and Gendo are no longer worries. Exactly how that happened may or may not come up in the story, but for now, just count them as dead or gone.
And yes, that means everyone is old enough for what happens here.

What happens in Vegas...

+++


Shinji Ikari woke up, and immediately regretted it. His head hurt. A lot. His stomach hurt. A lot. His arms and legs felt too heavy to move. And hurt. A lot. He didn't feel like a 20 year old man who'd just woken up from a deep sleep. He felt like a 200 year old man whose body was in revolt. He was tired and worn out, like he'd been running or exercising all night, and some strategic bits of him felt kind of sore like he'd been mas-...um… 'being introspective' all night.

He almost hurt too much to move. His limbs felt so heavy... and kind of lumpy? Wait…

With great effort, he pried his gluey eyes open, just a slit. The weak sunlight dribbling in between the curtains on the hotel suite's windows still hurt his eyes. But not nearly as much as how much the sight that greeted them made his brain hurt and his heart clench.

Asuka Langley Soryu was right in his face.

To be fair, she was achingly beautiful, as always. She'd been beautiful at 14, and now at 20 she was a true heartbreaker. What made his heart clench right now was how cute she was in her sleep… ten centimeters from his face. And how she was wrapped around him like he was her body pillow at home, the one she pretended was just for her comfort, not because she nuzzled it in her sleep and sometimes mumbled sweetly to it…. Not that he'd ever peeked into her room while he tried to work up the nerve to go in and talk to her!

Where was he? Oh, right, waking up in bed in a hotel with Asuka wrapped around him, no memory of how they'd ended up there, and, key point here, not a stitch of clothing on either of them. The killer hangover at least accounted for why he couldn't remember anything, though the circumstances of waking up with one of the people he was involved in a serious, long-term, maximum-awkward mutual crush-occasional-friendship-with-benefits-something made getting some answers on that front kind of a priority.

On the other hand, waking up naked in bed with a girl you've literally dreamed about doing something like that with for years did lend itself to another obvious possible answer.

"Ah," Shinji muttered. "I'm having that dream again."

His tiny utterance received a "Murrghph," of acknowledgement from his other side.

He blinked, and rolled his head to the right. A very familiar mop of blue hair greeted him.

Rei Ayanami was glomped to his right arm just as firmly as Asuka was on his left. No wonder he couldn't move his limbs.

"Oh, it's one of those dreams," Shinji amended, still at whisper-levels of volume. Even in a nice dream, it was only considerate to not wake people, especially when they were as cute as Rei and Asuka.

"Grumphlble," agreed another dreamer from across Shinji's legs.

Shinji very carefully and slowly raised his head to look down his body. A sleepy and contented-looking Kaworu Nagisa was somehow peacefully sleeping laid across his and Rei's legs, his head in Rei's lap. He too somehow contrived to look really cute. Seriously, Kaworu's hair was just so silky and fluffy, it was a joy to run his fingers through and where the Hell had that come from, Shinji?

Oh, right, that party six months ago.

+++

"Do it! Do it! Hahahah, bet you'll chicken out!" Asuka drunkenly cheered.

"It's ok if you don't want to, Shinji-kun," Kaworu said, blushing almost as hard as Shinji.

"Nuh-uh!" Shinji slurred. "Asuka thinks I won't, and you're cute and nice and I've kind of been thinking about it for a while and Asuka once dared me to kiss her and I did and we both liked it so she can't say anything and fuck I talk too much. Come 'ere." Shinji grabbed Kaworu, pulled him into a hug, and planted a nice, solid kiss right on the Nephilim's soft lips.

Asuka's drunken cheer of approval was barely heard. Shinji couldn't stop himself from running his hands through Kaworu's delightfully silky hair, pressing him close. He only felt even more excited when Kaworu responded to Shinji's other hand sliding south to get a nice firm grip on Kaworu's perfect backside by matching Shinji's move with his own.

Things escalated slightly. Then some more. When they finally broke apart, both of them had their shirts half-off, their pants unbuttoned, and a slightly wild look in their eyes. Shinji reluctantly pulled his hand out of Kaworu's boxers.

"Oh my fucking Gott, that was so hot," Asuka cheered. "I have never been so happy to be wrong! This is the best 20th birthday ever!"

"Do it again," Rei commented, quietly but with a hungry, focused look in her eyes. Rei always got strangely intense when drunk. Her verbal filters tended to evaporate, too. "I wish to see more of that."

Kaworu wobbled a bit on his feet. Drink always hit him pretty hard, though he never was anything less than cheerful. He just got… cuddly. "Not...not that I… dun wanna, but… I thought…" He hiccuped. "I thought you and Shhhhhinji were kind of a thing again. Or waszh that last month?"

"Because guy-on-guy is HOT!" Asuka and Rei said in stereo. "Just like guys like watching girls make out, right?" Asuka continued. "Like this!" She grabbed an entirely unresisting Rei and gave her a kiss. Technically just one, but it went on for a while. Eventually, she had to somewhat pry Rei off her. "Sheee? And I'm mad at Shinji again thiz week, but this is a great way for making me happy with him again. So make with the yaoi action again!"

Shinji found he had no real objection to kissing Kaworu some more. His on-again-off-again semi-girlfriend said it was ok, and Kaworu was really cute and a good friend.

And fuck, was he a good kisser!

+++

Still, them all ending up in bed at once was more likely a dream than anything. Seriously, the only time Shinji was that ambitious was in his dreams. And hadn't he had the foursome one the night before they left on...that… trip? "Where are… oh, right. Misato's conference thing. Vegas," Shinji finally remembered.

They were in Vegas. This was Caesar's Palace. He remembered checking in… yesterday? Misato had dragged them all to some 'Retrospectives on the Angel War' conference, declaring she wasn't going to let the five of them dodge it anymore, now that they were all legally of age. Asuka had used that excuse to get them out of a lot of Angel War stuff, once she'd gotten tired of the initial year of publicity.

Wait.

Vegas. All in bed together. Not wearing anything. Couldn't remember last night. The only thing that was needed to complete the bad joke was…

Shinji looked down at his left hand, just barely visible between him and Asuka.

There was a nice, fairly fancy band of gold and diamond on it.

And on Asuka's.

And on Rei's.

….and on Kaworu's.

"............oh. Shit," Shinji said.

+++

Evangelion: The Hangover

+++

Ok. Ok. Don't panic, Shinji. There had to be a logical explanation for this. The pounding headache and full bladder suggested maybe this wasn't a dream. The rings they were all wearing did too, since not even his wildest dreams included marrying all of them. So… ok, try to wake them up one at a time, to avoid mass panic.

"Kaworu!" he hissed. Kaworu was usually cheerful and sensible, right? He was a good one to wake first.

"Mmmurble," Kaworu replied, nuzzling his face deeper into Rei's lap. Rei did not seem to mind.

"Kaworu! Wake up!" Shinji said a little louder.

Kaworu's eyes snapped open. He vaguely focused in on Shinji, and started to smile.

Then his face turned green, and he murmured, "Oh Gott…" before leaping out of the bed and streaking for the bathroom. Sounds of extensive, deep vomiting began.

Shinji sighed. Ok, so much for plan A. Plan B.

"Rei!" Shinji tried wiggling his right arm. "Rei, wake up! We've got a situation!"

"Whuh?" Rei mumbled, cracking one crimson eye open. She smiled sleepily. "Oh, hi Shinji." She ducked her head forward to kiss him.

Shinji found himself helplessly returning the kiss. Rei was always sweet and fun to kiss. They'd intermittently dated for a few months during one of his and Asuka's 'off' times. It had more or less ended when at yet another liquor-fueled party Rei had literally pushed him into Asuka's arms, saying 'She looks sad. You make her smile.' Rei had then sat back and beamed at them while he and Asuka sucked face for the rest of the night.

"Rei-mmmwha. I mean, Rei, stop! We… I think we…" he swallowed. "Umm… do you remember anything about last night?"

Rei closed her eyes and snuggled back down, smiling contentedly. "Not really."

"I....I think we got married."

Rei opened one eye again. "Which? Us? You and Asuka? About time..." she said sleepily.

"All of us."

"Oh." Rei closed her eye again. "That's nice." She yawned, and started to snore softly.

Shinji wished his hand was free so he could facepalm. "Big help you are, Rei…"

Ok, plan B no good either. Plan C was to chew his arm off so he could make his escape, since plan D, 'wake up Asuka and explain this' was much scarier.

...He couldn't reach his arm with his teeth without waking her. Crap. Plan C was out.

'Oh come on, Shinji. Is it really so scary to wake up the woman you've kind of been in love with for five years and tell her you all are now married somehow? You've had this dream too!'

'Not when I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED! Also, I doubt she'll be too ecstatic when I mention 'Rei and Kaworu too', will she?!''

'Ok, fair point. Counter-point: She looks really cute and happy right now.'

Shinji gave up arguing with his brain. It never worked anyway. He looked down at Asuka. Alright, yeah, she did look amazingly cute and happy. She always did when they woke up together, something that to be fair happened moderately often over the last few years. But no matter how often, one of them would say or do something stupid, or one of their insecurities would rear its head, and they'd break up again.

Then again, since they'd been living together for five years, and got back together as often as they broke up, it was more like they'd been dating for five years, with occasional 'I'm not talking to you because I'm angry' periods.

He still loved her. That was the annoying part. No matter what they did or said to each other, he couldn't stop loving her. For all the arguments, when she was sweet, it was… like nothing else in the world. At such times, he could almost understand his father's willingness to break the world to get his own love back.

Of course, then he'd remember his father was a giant asshole who'd been party to a conspiracy to kill three billion people, and out that moment of sympathy went.

Anyhow, Asuka. Smiling, sleeping in his arms. A really nice wakeup, except for the part where he had to explain the rings they were all wearing.

He took a deep breath. "Asuka?"

"Mmmm?"

"I need you to wake up."

"Dun wanna. Headache. Hangover. Fuck. Why did we drink so much?"

"Do you remember last night?"

"No."

Shinji bit his lip.

As the pause lengthened, Asuka stirred a bit. Finally, she opened one eye a slit. "Why?" she growled suspiciously.

"You have to promise not to get mad."

"Shinji, we've known each other for five years and change by now. Woken up this exact way more than once. Since when has that ever worked?"

"Thought it was worth a shot."

She sighed. "Can I have a few more minutes to enjoy waking up in your arms before we get to the inevitable disaster that makes us mad at each other again?"

"Um…. yeah, I think we're ok on that one."

"Good. I like this part. Stupid sexy Shinji," she muttered. "....did we have sex last night? Bits of me are sore."

"I honestly can't remember. I think so? We had a bit to drink."

"Scheiße… I hate it when that happens. Sex with you is good," Asuka complained. She sighed again. "Alright, hit me. What did we do this time?"

"I think we got married."

Shinji's heart did a little leap when, out of the rapid kaleidoscope of emotions that flashed across Asuka's face, the preeminent one was joy. But wariness soon came to the forefront. "Ok… so you wanted me to promise not to get mad because… wait, we're both still in bed, I don't remember anything, and you don't either, so.... what makes you think we got married?"

Shinji wiggled his left hand free and took hers, raising them in front of Asuka's face.

Her eyes nearly crossed. "Oh… wow… um,.... That's a nice ring….rings." She swallowed. "Ok...so…. We're married?"

Shinji winced. She sounded… happy. Hopeful. Eager, even. "Yyyyeah, that's… where it gets complicated."

"Because we just had one of the most important moments in our lives, and we can't remember Scheiße?"

Shinji rolled onto his back to reveal Rei still snuggled up on his far side. "Rei's wearing a ring too. Exactly like ours."

".......we married Wondergirl too?!"

"And," Shinji waved at the bathroom door. Another angonized "HUUUUGGGRRRRRRHHGNLBBBBLE!" came from within.

Asuka blinked at him for a moment. "What."

"I said it got complicated."

"How is the four of us being married even possible?"

"This is Vegas, and all the weird polygamy and stranger stuff the US authorized after Second Impact in the name of boosting birthrates?"

"And I'm still a US Citizen, so this is all probably legal." Asuka rubbed her face. "Where is Misato? This is all her fault, I'm sure of it. I'm going to kill her."

"I don't know. I just woke up. I tried waking the others without disturbing you, but Kaworu is… well, you can hear him. Rei just said 'that's nice', and went back to sleep."

Asuka sat up far enough to mildly glare at the bluenette. "She's lucky she's so cute, or I'd be more upset with her." Asuka's eyes narrowed. "What's that on her face?"

Shinji looked closer. Rei shift had revealed what looked like a bandage on her face. "A… some gauze? Did she hurt herself last night?"

Asuka reached over Shinji and gently tugged at the bandage, already coming up a bit from where Rei's face had rubbed on the pillow. It came away easily, revealing a small, fresh tattoo under the corner of Rei's left eye. "Is that… kanji?"

Shinji examined it. He had to cover his mouth to avoid laughing out loud. "Snrk. Y-Yeah, it is."

Asuka shifted her glare to him. "Why are you laughing? What does it say?"

".....Soryu."

"What?"

"Rei has your last name tattooed on her face. Right in the 'path of her tears', no less."

Asuka reached over to shake Rei awake. "Rei! Rei! Wake up!"

"Mmmuh?"

"....do you know you've got a tattoo on your face?"

"......what?"

"Why do you have my name on your face, Wondergirl?" Asuka demanded.

"I… do not remember getting a tattoo?"

Asuka reached up to gently draw a circle around the mark, carefully not touching it. "Not kidding, First. You've got my name's kanji right here."

"You... marked me?" Rei said hesitantly.

"How should I know?!" Asuka threw her hands up. "I can't remember anything about last night after… like, mid-afternoon!" Asuka pulled Rei's left hand up. "And… are we fucking married now?! Do you remember anything?"

"Married? To...you? I thought…" Rei looked at her ring, then the matching ones on Asuka and Shinji. "Oh. And… Kaworu too?"

"HUUURRGGHGBBLBBLBBLLL!"

"Apparently."

"Oh....I'm ok with this."

Asuka and Shinji stared at her like she'd grown a new head.

"What?" Rei said. "You're all hot and I love all of you? I've slept with all three of you at least once in the last 4 years?"

Shinji's eyes got wide and he looked at Asuka, a grin starting to form on his lips.

Asuka blushed and looked away. "Look, we were all drunk and you and I were fighting again. Rei was… comforting."

"Then we did it again the next we-" Asuka reached over to grab Rei by the back of the head and seal her lips with a kiss.

Rei's smile when Asuka pulled back was beatific. "And that would be one of many reasons I do not mind the idea of being her wife," she said quietly.

Asuka covered her face with her hands. "I'm too hungover for this. I'm going to make some hangover cure. Shinji, you see if Kaworu needs any help in there before he vomits up the rest of his internal organs. Rei, see if you can look around and find any traces of Misato, Hikari, their boytoys, or anything that looks like marriage certificates, whatever. If we really got married, there's got to at least be a receipt or something.

"These are very nice rings," Rei said, looking at hers again. She raised her head, looking into space. "Also, I think I have been… 'ridden hard and put away wet'."

Shinji nearly fell over on his way to the bathroom. Asuka walked right into one of the barstools around the counter of the kitchenette. "W-What?" she sputtered.

"My nether bits feel well and extensively used. Whatever happened last night, I believe a substantial part of it must have been extended sexual intercourse, most likely in consummation of our marriage." Rei looked vaguely annoyed. "I wish I could remember that."

Asuka turned back to look at Rei again. "Wondergirl, are you still drunk? You're sounding like you do when hammered."

"No, but I might be somewhat giddy from the prospect of you all being my spouses. I find the concept... most agreeable." There was no change in Rei's usual deadpan cool.

Asuka muttered something in German and began pulling bottles of orange juice and Gatorade out of the kitchenette's fridge. "Hurensöhne! There's Tylenol in the minibar… but it's twelve dollars for a bottle! What a ripoff!"

"We're probably not the first hangover sufferers in Vegas," Shinji said, entering the bathroom. "Hey, Kaworu are you-" He froze and backed out of the bathroom slowly. "Uhhhh… Rei, Asuka? There's a creature in the bathtub."

"You found Pen Pen?"

Shinji shook his head and cracked the door open to reveal a polar bear in the tub. "Wrong Arctic."

Kaworu slowly raised his head from the toilet bowl, feebly wiping at his chin. "....Oh Gott. Wait… maybe he will eat me, and end my suffering," he said weakly.

"Kaworu are you-" Shinji whispered. He tiptoed his way back into the bathroom. His eyes sought Kaworu's hand. Yup, matching ring. "Tell me you remember last night?"

"Huh? Uh… no...not a thing past…" Kaworu knitted his brow. "Um,... about the point where Misato said we...wait… weren't we going to celebrate Touji and Hikari's engagement?"

"Well… um… how about you slowly, carefully follow me out of the bathroom, and away from the giant carnivore…" Shinji took another look at the still sleeping polar bear. "...That is wearing a fez and cuddling a bottle of Stolichnaya?"

"Definitely Misato's fault," Asuka said.

"But if I stay in here, maybe I'll get lucky and he'll kill me," Kaworu complained. "Oh Gott, my head…"

"Kaworu, I really want you to not get eaten by a possibly hungover bear," Shinji said. "Especially when we… er… might be married now."

Kaworu lolled his head around to blink blearily at Shinji. "...what?"

Shinji helped his...husband? To stand up, and supported him as they withdrew cautiously from the bathroom. Shinji closed the door, wincing at even the tiny click the latch made when he did.

"Oh, don't worry, Shinji. Lieutenant Growlski won't hurt you unless you try to take away his vodka," Rei said cheerily. Well, cheerily for Rei.

"Lieutenant… Growlski? Rei, how do you know its name?"

"I have no idea." Rei rustled some papers. "I think I may have found our wedding papers. And a...note from Misato?"

"What does it say?" Asuka said, pouring out four glasses of juice and Gatorade and placing painkillers beside each glass. Kaworu allowed Shinji to guide him to a stool at the counter, where he slumped forward and put his head down.

"I do not know. It is written entirely in Drunk Misato." She walked over to Asuka and handed her the note.

Asuka looked at the paper, shook her head, and calmly handed the note over to Shinji. "You're the most Japanese of us. I already can't read normal kanji, nevermind... that."

Shinji squinted at the paper, but shook his head as well. "This isn't Kanji. This is... Drunk Misato. There's not even one actual character on here. There's a sketch of a bottle and… I think that's a dickbutt." He looked at Rei. "No other sign of her?"

"Her bed is not slept in, and all that's here is her underwear."

Shinji sighed, and took a deep, forced swallow from his glass before starting to sort through the papers.

"What's the verdict?" Asuka asked after a few minutes of paper shuffling.

"According to all this, yes, we're all married, as a quartet, no, I don't know how that all works, yes, I'm serious, and no, we're not getting out of this." He sighed. "Those same post-Second Impact laws that allow all this also say we can't get any kind of annulment or divorce for at least 96 hours."

"And we fly back to Japan in 48," Asuka pointed out.

"I… do not wish to get a divorce," Rei said softly. "And it would be difficult to get all the tattoos removed."

"You don't want to… wait, what tattoos?" Asuka said.

Rei pointed at Shinji's chest. "You have Asuka, my, and Kaworu's names over your heart. He has a matching set of yours, mine, and Asuka's. I have Asuka's last name on my face, and I suspect from the soreness, yours and Kaworu's on my back. Asuka, could you turn around and move your hair off your back?"

Shinji jerked his head down to stare at his chest. Yup, there were fresh, sharp katakana spelling out the three names, right over his heart, with Asuka's in the middle, a bit larger. It had probably gone first.

"Well, do I?" Asuka demanded.

Shinji jerked his head back up. ...partway up. He got stuck for a second staring at Asuka's admittedly perfect backside. He never got tired of staring at…. Oh, right, he was supposed to be looking for tattoos!

When his eyes got a little higher, there they were. His name in fancy Western script, right on the small of her back, with Kaworu and Rei's names forming part of a filigreed circle around it. It was… distractingly pretty… The swirling, elaborate lettering made him want to trace his fingers over it, following the letters.

"Uh… yeah… right on your back, here," he told Asuka, delicately circling his fingertip around it.

"EEEEEYYYAAAIIII!!" Asuka shrieked in surprise, leaping into the air. "Stop that! It tickles!"

"Sorry!"

Asuka tried peering over her own shoulder. "I… I have your names as a tramp stamp?!"

"It's very artistic," Kaworu said weakly, just raising his head. "Did… I sketch the tracework? It kind of looks like my hand."

"What about me?" Rei interrupted. "I feel it on my shoulder blades, but what does it look like?"

The bluenette had turned around, and was looking over her shoulder for their reactions. And she got them.

"Oh, wow, Rei… You've got wings," Asuka said.

"I… I don't know what to say, Rei. You… I don't deserve to… to be…" Shinji couldn't finish.

So Kaworu did. "...We're your wings?" He wobbled upright from his stool and stepped close enough to Rei to gently trace his fingers along the delicate, feathered angel wings that lead down from near the top of Rei's back, with 'Shinji' and 'Kaworu' written on them. They looked almost lifelike.

"And my name in the 'path of your tears'," Asuka said, shaking her head. "I never knew you cared that much, Rei."

"I do. I am sorry I remain…" Rei fidgeted with her hands. "Bad at expressing deep emotion. But I do love you all. The idea of your names being permanently on my skin is… I feel simultaneously loved and aroused."

Kaworu and Shinji shared a look. "Uhh…" they said together.

Asuka snorted. "Damn, Rei, I knew you were kind of kinky. Ok, whatever the Hell we did last night, we must have had some good shit to drink to spark it. I blame Misato. So we need to find her, and see if she can explain any of this. If she's not in evidence, we need to start following the trail. The address for the chapel's on those papers, right?"

"Yes."

"Good. We'll start there. There's probably a receipt or charge record on our cards for these tattoos, too. So we can try that too." Asuka thought for a moment. "We haven't tried calling Misato, Hikari, or anyone, right?"

"Not unless someone did it while I was regurgitating everything I've eaten in the last month," Kaworu said, blearily. He nearly choked trying to force down the rest of the glass of Gatorade Asuka had put in front of him, then stood up to try digging ice out of the freezer.

"I'll find our phones. ...And our pants. I have no idea where our clothes are," Shinji said.

"Oh...we'll have to put on clothes, won't we?" Rei said. She sounded disappointed.

"If I promise the rest of us will help you out of them later, will that make you feel better?" Asuka said sarcastically.

Rei gave her one of her tiny smiles. "Promise?"

"What are we going to do about the polar bear in the bathroom?" Kaworu asked, gingerly putting a ziploc bag of ice against his head. "Besides feed me to it so I stop wishing for the sweet embrace of death?"

"We'll let the hotel staff figure that one out. We've got a mystery to solve," Asuka replied.

"We better leave the maid one hell of a tip," Shinji muttered. "Ah… you're taking this really well, Asuka. I kind of expected you to explode or try to strangle me."

Asuka left the kitchen and walked over to where he was searching through the scattered sheets and pillows around the bed for their clothes and grabbed him in a surprisingly tight hug. "Shinji, I am currently half-freaking out because we can't remember anything about how or why we did this, half-giddy that we finally did do this, and half-confused as all fuck as to why we included Wondergirl and the Angel of Prettyboys in the mix. I'm also still not completely convinced this isn't a really weird dream from eating too much buffet last night. So on balance, I've decided to just roll with it for now, and… maybe it's not so bad? I… you and I have been dancing around each other for years, never able to just… stop dancing and make it real. Maybe I kind of needed to be just… given a push like this."

Shinji's breath caught in his throat. "Asuka, I… You know I've loved you for years… I'd just… never thought we'd…"

"Maybe you needed the push too, huh?" she said softly.

"Is… I mean…. Rei and Kaworu too?" he asked hesitantly.

She tilted her head up for a kiss. "Eh, you and I both kind of love Rei already, and I've seen you and Kaworu together looking such a cute couple I have to admit I got jealous sometimes. And after the four of us living together for so long, life would feel… half-empty without them. So… yeah, maybe I don't really mind… having a wife and two husbands?" She blushed quite a bit by the end of that admission. She still managed to meet his eyes… after a moment. "You think you can handle two half-Angels who I know you love already, plus me, the love of your life? Because if we do this… I'm going all-in, baka-Shinji. No holding back anymore."

He swallowed hard. This would be one of the reasons he loved Asuka. The way she could just… cut through everything, and make him feel like he was the world to her. It made him want to do the same for her. "I… I kind of want this too. For… pretty much the same reasons. I can't imagine living without them and you."

"Now I'm going to make a joke about watching you and Kaworu go at it, because #1, that's hot, and #2, its easier than facing the oh-holy-shit levels of emotional scariness that goes with seriously thinking about ohfuckohfuckouhfuckI'mmarriedI'mmarriedI'mmarriedtothreepeopleandIthinkIlovethemand-" Asuka let go of him and clamped her hands over her mouth.

Shinji smiled weakly. "Y-Yeah… same reasons." He kissed her on the forehead and gave her one last squeeze. "Let's… find out what happened."

"Everyone?" Rei spoke up from the now open door to the bathroom. "Lieutenant Growlski says he wants breakfast. Do we have any more vodka?"

+++

 

[Strypgia]

Hangover pt 2 kiiiinda went big. Here's 5k words of Stupid Fish, tsunderes, what happened to the Angel War, and the PilOT4 finding out that 'get hammered and get married' was a trend last night.

As a warning, this chapter has a bit more sexual flavor than A&T does, so that bit is spoilered.


+++

Shinji paled a bit. "Um… Rei? Aren't you nervous about ah… 'Lieutenant Growlski' trying to… eat you?"

"He's fine as long as he gets his vodka," Rei said serenely.

Shinji eyed the bathroom door nervously. "What happens if he doesn't get his vodka?"

"Then he's not fine." Rei headed into the kitchen area and began to rummage through the cabinets. "Help me find some, Shinji?"

Shinji squeezed Asuka's hand one last time and went to help Rei.

"Do not get eaten by the bear!" Asuka called after him. She resumed searching for their keys or phones in the cushions of the suite's couch. She found her shirt from last night under the cocktail table. She picked it up, but wrinkled her nose at the strong scent of alcohol pouring off it. As if they'd needed any more confirmation that they'd done a truly epic amount of drinking yesterday. "Enough to get married to three people, but forget about it and the whole rest of the evening," she muttered.

Kaworu tapped her on the shoulder, presenting her with a set of fresh clothes. "I found your suitcase under some flung sheets. Still no sign of our phones."

She took the blouse, underwear, and pants with a nod of thanks. She had to pull her eyes away from the ring on his hand as she took them.

Kaworu's own gaze was stuck just as much on hers. She tried to ignore it as she started getting dressed right there.

"Asuka?

"Yeah?" She stepped into her semi-lacy panties and pulled them up. She was vaguely bemused to note they were the same blue as Rei's hair.

"Why me?"

She fastened her bra behind her and adjusted the straps. "What do you… oh, why are you wearing a ring too?"

He nodded. "You and Shinji, everyone's been expecting that for years, despite how often you two broke up and reconciled. And I can even see how much you and Rei really care for each other, even without my Sight. Rei and Shinji likewise. But… I'm the weird new one, the outsider in your little trio, the Angel… I mean, I know you're all my friends, and even sometimes a lover, but… do I really… am I worthy of this?"

Asuka frowned. "Ok, number one, none of us even remember how we went from 'celebratory drinking about Hikari and her gorilla' to 'let's all get tattooed and married', so I don't know what to say in the more immediate sense. Number two… you're not 'just a friend', Kaworu. Angel? You've been closer than anyone else to all three of us for years at this point. Number three…" Asuka tried to sort through her wildly confused feelings. Failing to come up with a coherent, articulable line of explanation, she fell back on a more base one, that had the virtue of being at least part of the truth. "You're good."

"Good?"

Asuka looked down briefly, then away from the still distractingly nude and very gorgeous Nephilim. "....in bed."

+++

Spoiler: Naughty Naughty!

"Bullshit! I've got years of practice on him, and I know he likes it," Asuka smirked. "There's no way you can even match me, let alone beat me."

"Hey, my first couple of boyfriends may have been more interested in notching 'I banged an Angel' on their bedpost and damn blogs than in really seeing me for me, but that is one thing I got out of all of them: I am the king of blowjobs," Kaworu countered. "And Shinji damn near ripped my ears off the last time you dared us to do it while you and Rei watched and cheered."

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yeah!"

The argument had escalated to dueling practical demonstrations. Kaworu had needed a full minute just to uncross his eyes after Asuka finished him off. Asuka had yelled loud enough at her moment of climax Shinji had needed to cover his ears. Rei had merely smiled that wickedly content way she did when drunk and horny, and declared that the only means of truly settling the argument was for them both to do Shinji at once. Shinji's surprised 'guh-WHA?' had been stilled by Rei giving him her best coquettish look, with one finger on her lower lip.

Shinji had no complaints after that, only the repeated and mountingly fervent gasping of both their names. However, their heads close together had begun distracting them both into increasingly heated kissing between bobs. That had ended when Asuka had grabbed Kaworu by the back of the neck, pulled him on top of her, and demanded more direct satisfaction, immediately.

That Shinji and Rei had promptly attached themselves to her left and right sides only made it better. Asuka very quickly discovered a few things: Kaworu was a tender, skilled, and gentle lover, he never stopped looking into her eyes, and she really, really liked being under him with Rei and Shinji pressed against her sides, taking turns kissing her. She felt surrounded, the center of attention… and loved. Intensely, deeply, completely. Her three favorite people, with her, holding her, loving her…

She didn't want it to end.

But eventually she screamed her release into Shinji's mouth, and the morning came. She and Shinji were together again, and they didn't discuss the night before. Not in that level of detail.

But it still happened again a couple more times.

Per month.

She wanted more. But how do you say something like that?

+++

"You're... good. A good lover. And I like sex. How many… look, Kaworu, there's you, and there's Shinji. And that's it. That's all the men I've let touch me in the last… three years?"

Kaworu blinked at her. "What, really? Half the time you and Shinji break up, you're dating some new hot guy within a day or two. You… never?"

"Nope. Hell, more than half of them are just me trying to make Shinji jealous," Asuka admitted.

Kaworu started to smile. "That does kind of undercut the 'I like sex' justification. If that was all there was to it, you'd be all over them too. If it's just Shinji and I, that suggests…"

Asuka turned away, hiding her face. "Halt's Maul."

Kaworu's smile deepened. "You don't just sleep around, Asuka. You demand more than that. You only sleep with people you-"

Asuka spun back around. "I said shut it, idiot!"

"This isn't just about sex, is it?"

She punched him in the chest, lightly. "Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!" She punched him again. "You've been living with us since the end of the War, you're closer to us than anyone, even Misato and Kaji, and I know how you feel about Shinji and Rei. You make them happy, they like you too, and I'm not going to just… cut you out and leave you alone. So whatever crazy logic persuaded us that suddenly getting group-married last night was a good idea, for my part there's no way I'd… leave you out, alright? That's it." Asuka crossed her arms and looked away again. "Idiot."

She squeaked in alarm when Kaworu suddenly picked her up by the waist and spun her around in the air, grinning. "Aaack! Put me down, you lunatic!" Her head spun.

"I know this song!" he said. "I've seen it before!"

"What the Hell are you talking about, du Dummkopf?!"

He lowered her down and crushed her to him, kissing the side of her neck. "You used to sound like this about him. And I know where that went. So if… Asuka, you know what I am, what I nearly did before Rei and I found a way to mute the Call, and you still accept me. You may not be able to say it, but this," he pulled back and held up his left hand, "this says more than words ever could. This is the ultimate expression of acceptance and…" He closed his eyes, still smiling. "You said you 'wouldn't leave me alone'. I know how difficult emotional intimacy is for you. That you'd include me in… Asuka, this is the second most wonderful thing anyone's ever done for me."

Asuka felt her pride prickle a bit. "Second?" she pouted.

"Rei saving me from the Call narrowly wins."

+++

The alarms and sirens far above were inaudible at this depth, but Kaworu knew they were going off. Two Nephilim forcing open Heaven's Gate and entering the very heart of Terminal Dogma must have set off every alarm in NERV, even without the immense Pattern Blue signal their AT-Fields must have sent off.

Kaworu looked up at the titanic form hanging from the gigantic red cross before them. Even hanging mid-air on the wings of their AT-Fields, Lilith's true body still towered over them. The constant siren song of the Call was a hurricane-loud scream this close. Only the knowledge that this was truly Lilith, not Adam, allowed Kaworu to keep his will in control over his instincts. That, and his trust in his companion.

"Are you sure this will work?" he asked her.

Rei turned, giving him a perfectly blank look. Only the faint hint of steel in her eye told him she was just as intent on her goal as ever. "No. This will either work, cause you to explode, or trigger you into an irreversible overload state that will require me to kill you to stop. But I am confident the first is the most likely. You trust me, and are maintaining conscious control of your barriers. You retain the ability to willingly lower them. That and your half-Lilim body will allow me to manipulate and integrate sufficient Progenitor-material into your Core that the Call will be satisfied and silenced forever." She paused. "If you are still willing."

He looked back at the far-off entrance to Lilith's chamber. Unit-01 and Unit-02 stood guard, their backs to the two hovering Nephilim, keeping SEELE's Evas at bay. The sounds of battle were growing stronger, the thunderous clangs and crashes of Evas in close combat eerily mixed with the unnatural roars and shrieks of the Mass Production Series.

He turned back to Rei. "In the face of such trust, how can I do any less? Proceed, Rei. We will win, or I will die. Either way, you will all live, and I will no longer endanger those I have come to care for." He opened his white shirt, revealing his bare chest.

Rei just nodded, and floated closer to Lilith's form. As she drew near, a bulge in Lilith's stomach formed, reaching out for Rei. But the First Child halted it with a raised hand. "No," she told it, "not now, perhaps not ever. This world is alive. Give me what I require to ensure it remains so."

The pseudopod of white flesh inched closer, narrowing. A sphere no larger than a plum formed at the tip and dropped into Rei's outstretched hand. The bulge then retreated, and Lilith's body was still once more.

Rei flew back to Kaworu, holding her hand out in front of her. "Open wide, Kaworu. It is time for Tabris to go to sleep."

The fragment of raw Progenitor screamed at him, the Call roaring in his ears, but it was wrong, wrong, not Adam, not-

Rei pressed it into his mouth, gently but unrelentingly. "If this causes you to explode, I apologize."

He swallowed it.

Rei's eyes flared like red stars, matching his own. She plunged her hand into his chest.

He felt his AT-Field scream, twist, distort… and She was inside him. Filling him. Changing him. He felt his Lilithian and Adamite sides clash, mix… and meld, bridged by the pure piece of Progenitor she'd fed him, then guided into his Core with her own AT-Field.

For the first time in his existence, the Call faded, faded… and stopped.

Rei pulled her hand out of his chest, and laid it gently on his skin. Her touch still made his skin tingle, but not like before. "You have not exploded. Good. The Forbidden Union has been achieved. You are now safe from the Call."

Kaworu smiled. The silence in his head was the sweetest music he'd ever heard. "Yes, I am. Now-"

Rei grabbed his shoulders and slammed her lips against his.

Eventually, she pulled back. "I have wanted to do that for weeks. That was even more pleasant than I expected. Now, let us go save our friends. We will discuss that more later."

"Guh."

She honked his nose. "Focus, Fifth Child. We have a battle to win, and SEELE to crush. You and I have risked much to reach this point. The others have risked even more to let us have this chance. Let us go redeem their trust in us. And then enjoy the fruits of victory."

He shook his head. "R-Right… trust. Thank you, Rei. For all of this."

"You may repay me later," Rei said, still as deadpan and cool as ever. "For now…" A pair of glowing octagons appeared at her hands, humming. "Let us go tear SEELE's Evas a structurally superfluous new behind."

Two more AT-Fields appeared near Kaworu's hands. "Ladies first."

The two Nephilim rocketed towards Heaven's Gate, outbound and down.

+++

"I mean, she did kind of save my life and the world with that trick…" Kaworu rubbed his head. "So… I'm equally glad to be her husband too."

"Thank Shinji for the idea," Asuka muttered. That had been a… difficult day. But watching her two friends come flying out of Terminal Dogma to help them fight off SEELE's last five Mass Production Evas remained one of her favorite memories. "He is the one that thought it up. My baka can be a genius sometimes."

"Now I'm your baka too," Kaworu grinned again. "And I can wait for you to say the words. I love you too, Asuka."

She turned red, then purple. "Stop-... I… you… GAAAH! Stupid Fish!" Asuka pulled out of his grip. "Go get dressed, you distractingly naked man! Shinji! Rei! Where are you?" Asuka pushed open the door to the bathroom. "Have you found-"

The bear in the bathtub waved a quieting paw at her, warning her not to disturb the deeply embracing couple near the sinks. He raised his new bottle of vodka and took a long drink.

Shinji couldn't answer Asuka's question. Rei had his tongue.

Asuka cleared her throat, subtly. Then not so subtly. "Ahem. Rei, what are you doing? I thought you were just giving ah… Lieutenant Growlski some more vodka to keep him pacified, then coming back to help us search?"

Rei slowly broke the kiss, a very pleased smile on her face. She finally looked at Asuka. "I am doing science."

Asuka gave her a flat look. "Science."

"I am experimentally verifying the question 'Is kissing your husband different from kissing your lover?' I am happy to report the answer is 'Yes, it is substantially better.'" Rei's eyes twinkled with anticipation. "I would now like to proceed with the next subject of investigation on the list, 'Is kissing your wife different from kissing your lover?' Based on my experiments so far, I have high hopes for further positive results."

Asuka bit her lip. Damn it. Rei's kisses were literally and figuratively divine, but is she let Rei get her hands on her, it would take them even longer to get out of the suite and start finding out some answers. "Um, Rei, I really do hate to say this, but we have to, uh… postpone that experimental series until after we figure out exactly how we, ah… reached that status."

Rei's expression dimmed for a moment, but her lips curled back up into a small smile just as quickly. "Ah, I see. Yes. Well, as a good and obedient wife, I will of course obey my beloved's wishes."

"Glurk," Asuka replied. "I… damn it, you little minx…"

Rei patted her on the cheek as she squeezed past Asuka. "Yes, dear. I will still hold you to your promise to help me into my clothes."

+++

Some more cleaning and hotel suite archaeology unearthed their luggage and got the others dressed. Their cell phones turned up wrapped in aluminum foil in the freezer, for some reason. Misato and Kaji didn't answer theirs when called. There were several waiting text messages from her, all incoherent babble or random mashes of characters. The couple of voicemails were much the same. The last message was hours old, too. Giving up on that for a moment, Asuka shepherded her gaggle of hungover spouses out the suite door and down to the hotel lobby in search of possibly a taxi.

Well, not so much shepherded as led from in front. Asuka did find some moderate amusement in realizing that all three of the hungover people behind her were probably staring at her arse. Or possibly her new tattoo. Either end pleased her ego in nice ways.. and a deeper part she was still hesitant to examine too closely just yet. It was too near the part that wanted to wildly freak out over waking up married to not just her intermittent boyfriend, but two additional friends as well.

Fortunately, she found a ready-made distraction waiting for them all once they cleared the elevators and reached the first floor, the bings and hubub of the casino floor filling the otherwise quiet lobby. Sitting at one of the tables spilling out of the restaurant just off the lobby's front hall was Hikari Horaki, looking very smug, and Touji Suzuhara, looking like he didn't know if he wanted to scream or start giggling madly.

Asuka blinked in surprise as Hikari spotted them and waved them over. Her friend looked... different. Very different. Besides the cat-who-ate-100-canaries smile and the way she was radiating ALL THE SMUG. Hikari had maintained her girlish pigtails for a long time, even most of the way through high school. Even after they'd finally faded away, Hikari had always kept her hair tightly restrained in a severe ponytail. But now, for the first time any of them could recall, Hikari's brunette locks were unconfined, a glossy waterfall of rich chestnut hair spilling down all over her shoulders.

"Hikari, good morning. You look, um... nice?" Shinji said, confused.

"Ohhh, and I feel even better, Shinji, thank you," Hikari said warmly. She took a slow, contented sip from her cup of coffee. "I feel great. I feel unleashed."

"Ah...why is that, Horaki-san?" Kaworu inquired.

"Because my darling Touji and I are not stuck on third base anymore," she said smugly. "And it was fantastic!" She hummed a happy little tune to herself as she took another sip of her steaming coffee.

"You did? Wait, what happened to 'no sex before marriage'?" Asuka said.

Hikari did giggle this time. "Oh, don't you remember?" she said, shaking her head. "We did it! It's not Horaki anymore, that's why! It's Suzuhara, finally!"

"You got married last night?" Shinji asked.

"Yup! You were all there! You don't remember either? You were my husband's," Hikari trilled the word, "Best Man, Shinji! You were my Maid of Honor, Asuka!" Hikari seemed about to burst into laughter. "Well, I suppose we all had been drinking a bit. That's how we went from a 'celebrate our engagement' party to 'hey, it's Vegas, let's get married right now!'" She laughed. "I am soooo happy Misato made that suggestion! Five years of waiting! I don't think Touji and I stopped until dawn!"

"Seems to have been a trend," Kaworu muttered quietly. Rei poked him in the side, smiling faintly.

Asuka and Shinji shared a glance. Yup, this was all Misato's fault. "You look, ah... very happy, yes," Shinji said. He looked at his friend. "Uh... Touji looks... a bit more in shock."

Touji finally blinked. He'd been rather still, though the remaining crumbs of breakfast in front of him showed he'd definitely eaten quite an array of food from the buffet. His gaze slowly drifted to Shinji. "I... I'm definitely married... and I think I'm pregnant."

Shinji stared back in confusion. "Ah... what?"

"I am so pregnant..." Touji said vaguely. "I'm probably going to have triplets. Three little girls..."

"Touji, you're the guy," Shinji pointed out.

Touji shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Hikari screwed me into submission. I never had a chance. She wins, forever. I get to have the babies." He blinked again, a little more focus returning to his eyes. "Holy shit, I am so married." He smiled up at them.

"I really wish we could remember last night," Asuka grumbled. "I knew this was Misato's fault."

Hikari looked at all of them. "None of you remember? Wow."

"We do not, Hikari, no," Rei said quietly. "You do? Can you tell us more? There have been... developments that we urgently desire more information about."

"Like what?"

"Er," Shinji said. He took Asuka's hand and raised it. "I think your impulse put an idea in our heads. We seem to have gotten married too."

Hikari's eyes widened. "What, you got married too? Without me there?! Asuka, I've been waiting for you two to stop playing games and get together for good for five years, and you're telling me I missed it?" She hesitated, lips pursing in thought. "Ok, I guess some of that is my fault. Touji and I did leave the instant we could, and we left you all there. I know the idea was in the air, since Misato wouldn't stop making jokes. And we were just a little tipsy..."

"Hikari, we were all so blind drunk none of us can remember anything. I think that's a bit more than 'tipsy'," Asuka said dryly.

"Good thing the staff there didn't notice or say anything!" Hikari giggled. "Once Misato pointed out we could be married before midnight, it sounded so wonderful neither of us could stand waiting any longer." She sighed happily. "And it is. I'm so sad I missed you two getting married, though! I've been waiting for that to happen since we were fifteen! Everyone could see it! I'm so happy for you two!"

"Four," Rei said.

Rei's soft statement was lost in Hikari's tsunami of romantic cheer. Hikari put a thoughtful hand on her chin. "Well," she began, "Since I wasn't there, I'm guessing Rei was your Maid of Honor, Kaworu was Shinji's Best Man, and Kaji gave away the bride?"

Kaworu snorted. "No, I was not the Best Man."

Hikari looked confused. "You weren't?"

"No. I was the groom," he said, smiling despite still looking rather green around the gills.

Hikari's confusion deepened. She looked at Touji.

He shook his head. "Don't look at me, hon. You know exactly where I was. I'dda been proud to be Shin-man's Best Man, but..." Touji's brain finally caught up. He slowly wobbled his stare around to Kaworu. "Wait, you were the groom? I thought it was Shinji and Asuka that got married?"

"They did," Rei said, a little louder than before.

Kaworu raised his left hand. Beside him, Rei did too. Their matching rings sparkled.

Hikari covered her mouth with both her hands, but still squeed loud enough to be heard anyway. "Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod you had a double wedding?! That's even better! You two are so cute together! I can't believe we missed all this! Did you get a video? Tell me there's a video!"

Asuka rubbed her face with her hands. Her head throbbed, and not just from the hangover. Explaining this to her best friend was hard enough. She couldn't wait for all the fun it would likely entail to explain it to everyone else she knew. On the other hand, she was actually looking forward to explaining it to her faithless father and that slut he'd picked up before her mother was even in the ground. Scandalizing him with her own happy and lusty marriage sounded wickedly entertaining. She wasn't a filthy cheater. She was honest and sincere and needed them and was never going to lie to any of them...

Wait, what was that? She shook her head. Focus, Soryu. "I... I hope there's a video, too. Some explanation for this would be nice. Since it's even more complicated than you think, Hikari."

"Hmmm? How? I mean, I'm happy for all four of you."

"We didn't have a double wedding. We had one."

Hikari blinked at her. "I don't-"

Rei stepped up between Asuka and Shinji, pulling Kaworu along with her. Making sure he was tucked in right behind her, she let go of Kaworu long enough to snake one arm around Shinji's waist and lay her head on Asuka's shoulder. "We got married," she declared softly but firmly, a tiny smile on her lips.

All four of them held up their left hands.

Hikari's eyes bugged out. "You got... wait, all four of you? Together?! How the Hell did that happen?"

"We were hoping you could tell us," Kaworu said. "None of us remember even leaving this hotel. The working theory is that this is all Misato's fault somehow. What you've told us seems to bear that out."

"It, ah... I guess it is?" Hikari visibly struggled to collect her wits. "I can't believe all four of... um, alright. Well, we were all here, drinking, having a wonderful time, when um... Touji and I got a little excited. I mean, yes, we'd been planning this official engagement for almost two years, but really having it happen was... we couldn't help it. I told Touji I hated the wait. Misato said I 'needed to get fucked, in the worst way', and when I told her that nothing was going to make me break my promise to my mother to wait until I was married, she pointed out this was a city famous for 24-hour no-waiting wedding chapels. It... sounded like the greatest idea ever, at that point."

"I think it was the 'Romulan Ale' Misato had us all drinking," Touji mumbled. "I think that stuff was powerful. I think I would have agreed to just about anything at that point, as long as Hikari kept kissing me. I dunno what was in that stuff, but once we started drinking that, everything got reeeeeally fuzzy."

"So I said 'let's go!' And we all went! We found a jewelry store a few kilometers away, hit the downtown county office for the license, found the chapel a few kilometers on, and Misato organized us into a wedding party!" Hikari giggle again. "And ta-daaaa, one hour later I was Mrs. Hikari Suzuhara!"

"So how does that explain us?" Shinji asked.

Hikari shook her head. "I have no idea. You were all still single when I left! Touji and I departed right after the official said 'man and wife', because I have been waiting five damn years to be properly married so I can finally fuck my husband, and I was not waiting one second more than I had to." Her eyes went misty. "So worth it."

"Was Misato-san still there with us too, when you left us?" Shinji asked.

"Yes, she and Kaji were there, laughing and cheering the whole time."

"Was this the establishment, Hikari?" Rei said, producing their sheaf of marriage certificates and receipts from her handbag.

Hikari took them and shook her head in amazement. "Yes, this is it. The Chapel of the Flowers. We used the Crystal Gardens chapel." She handed Rei back the papers. "I take it you're heading there now to... find out what happened?"

Rei nodded. "Yes. We will have to be circumspect, however. If the Chapel staff become convinced we were intoxicated beyond ability to remember at the time they performed the ceremony, they may be forced to determine it was invalid," she said calmly. Her voice hardened. "I do not wish this to happen."

Touji rubbed his eyes. "You... want to have this be a thing? I mean, you're not going to, uh.... fix it?"

Rei tapped one slender finger on the tattoo under her eye. "No. I have been marked and claimed and held, as have they. We are bound, hearts and souls, by love and by will until the end of us all." She looked contemplative for a moment. "Also, I do not wish to give up the pleasure of Shinji's enormous co-"

Kaworu clamped a hand over Rei's mouth. "Compassion. She was going to say compassion," he improvised.

Rei pried his hand away. "Kaworu's too." She too looked smug.

"We're not 'fixing' anything for at least 96 hours after the fact," Asuka pointed out. "No divorces or annulments allowed in that time frame, according to the same current law that even allows for the four of us to be married in the first place."

"But we fly back to Japan in-" Hikari started to say.

"We know," Asuka cut her off. "And that's without touching on the fact we still don't know what the Hell we were thinking, or how," she looked at Rei, who was now snuggling up against Kaworu's chest, still smiling smugly, "opinions are divided on if we even want to... 'fix this'. And as Rei pointed out, we've all got each others' names tattooed all over us."

"What, really? All of you?"

Asuka felt dainty, familiar hands take her by the shoulders and turn her around, putting her back to Hikari. Rei's hand then grabbed Asuka's shirt at her beltline and pulled it up. "Yes," Rei said, "Observe. Is it not beautiful? Shinji and Kaworu's are over their hearts."

"Rei!" Asuka tugged her shirt back down and spun back around to hide her back. "Don't just go flashing me at Hikari, her gorilla, and everyone else in the lobby!"

Rei did manage to look contrite. "I am sorry, Asuka," she said apologetically. I am just giddy at the prospect of showing off our marks to everyone. You are all mine." She turned Asuka's head enough to kiss her softly. "As I am yours."

"Gleeble!" Asuka protested.

"Wow... I... I didn't know you were that close, Asuka," Hikari said, flushing red.

"The Red Demon and Rei Ayanami are kissing. I think being married has affected my brain," Touji said vaguely. His eyes glazed over again. "Hikari, can we go back upstairs and be married again some more?"

"I... maybe we should go with them? I mean, we didn't get our video either," Hikari said. "Either way, I'm going to have to lean on you. After last night, my legs are more wobbly than flan in an earthquake."

"How did you get down here, if so?" Kaworu inquired.

Hikari smugged again. "My strong and virile husband carried me down from our room for breakfast. Bridal carry, in fact."

"Hikari is cuddly," Touji nodded. He smiled agreeably at everyone.

"I think you literally fucked his brains out, Hikari," Asuka smirked.

"Don't need brains. Being married is awesome. I am so pregnant," Touji... argued?

"Touji, buddy, I assure you, you're not pregnant," Shinji tried. "You are anatomically ill-equipped."

"Then we'll have to try harder. I want Hikari's babies."

Kaworu patted Shinji on the shoulder. "I think he's still in shock, Shinji. Just let him be happy. It's not as if we all don't feel nearly as, ah... unmoored from our normal states of mind this morning, no?"

"I... guess? I don't know. I feel weirdly... at ease," Shinji said, covering Kaworu's hand with his own. "Because I've got you, Rei, and Asuka, I think. I'd be flailing all over if I didn't."

Kaworu smiled back and started to lean in for a kiss. He hesitated at the last moment, looking the question at Shinji if it was ok to do this in public.

"Gott, you two are so cute..." Asuka murmured. "I mean, ahem! Let's get a taxi and go find out what happened! We've got a mystery to solve, Misato to track down, and then we blame her for all of this mess." She paused. "Finish that kiss first, though." She coughed into her hand. "Please."

As Shinji and Kaworu happily obliged her, Rei turned to Hikari. "You are taking our situation far more calmly than I feared you might, Hikari. I was concerned you would find our unorthodox status... objectionable. You do have a bit of a reputation about strictness over 'traditional values'."

"You mean I was a raging prude who once blew up at the impropriety of Shinji and Asuka merely living together?" Hikari smiled. "Well, two things, Rei. First, however weird it might be, you're all as married at Touji and I, and that covers a lot of 'sin'. Second, I am so mellow right now I'm nearly Zen. I might get more uptight about it later when I come down, but I promise I'll try not to. But right now, I am fine."

She finished the last of her coffee and patted Touji on the hand. "I think you'll have to carry me to the taxi stand, dear. Let's go help them find out what happened to them last night after we left."

+++

 

[Strypgia]

Hangover 3 is go! Screw waiting for Friday!



Evangelion: The Hangover pt 3

+++

"I'm glad you talked me into that minivan for our rental, Kaworu."

"I knew we'd need the space, Shinji," Kaworu smiled. He bit his lip for a moment, then sidled a little closer to Shinji and took his hand as they walked.

Shinji jumped slightly, but quickly relaxed. No one was really staring at the two young men walking hand-in-hand through the nicely air-conditioned lobby of the hotel-casino as they headed for the parking garage. Shinji started to sweat anyhow. "Kaworu?"

"I... want to... show off," Kaworu replied haltingly. "I am still confused as to how this came about, but I am... happy? I... Shinji, you know I have... loved you since I arrived, yes? But... anyone could see you and Asuka were something only a fool would interrupt. So I didn't. But... the idea that I could be added to your pairing was... I wish I'd thought of it before. Beyond wild dreams, I mean."

Shinji tried not to blush too much. Kaworu's hand in his was warm and strong, the surprising strength of another musician's fingers easy to feel. "I... um... I kind of noticed, yeah. How you... liked me. You know how I'm... bad at... believing that, though. Asuka had to practically tackle me to the floor the first time we... er... got serious. And I wasn't much better with Rei. You... come on, a third person who liked me? And... it took nearly a straight liter of sake before I could admit I wanted to kiss you, remember? If Asuka hadn't dared me to, I probably would still have chickened out."

"I'm glad you did not..." Kaworu's smile was almost perfectly innocent. Only someone who'd known him for years could spot the wicked edge to it. "I found Rei was right. Kissing someone you love is... different. And sex even more so."

Shinji did blush this time. It had taken a couple of years of intermittent intimacy before he'd even admitted to Asuka alone that he found men attractive too. Or at least Kaworu. He'd never felt too much pull towards other men. Not like the one he'd felt for his gray-haired friend, anyway. Asuka, happily, had found the news more arousing than shameful, the latter being something he'd feared. She'd happily bragged about Europe's 'more enlightened' attitude about it. Shinji had rebutted with a simple look in the direction of Asuka's surprisingly extensive collection of Japanese yaoi manga. She'd retaliated by grabbing a hold of his groin and starting to whisper how she'd like to see him and Kaworu together, and the discussion had wandered from there. Still, actually acting on the attraction, or admitting it to anyone else had waited until that very drunken birthday party last year. He'd never minded that Asuka and Rei had always been there when they did, eagerly watching and cheering.

Hell, both girls had been firmly encouraging. Everyone knew Rei was a considerable voyeur, but Asuka... she'd been whispering in his ear the entire time he and Kaworu had first... gone further. Whispering how hot she found it... but also whispering encouragement. Emotional encouragement. Telling him not to be afraid of admitting you liked someone, not to fear showing it, that she and Rei would never mock him for it.

And yes, sex with Kaworu had been... as intense and exciting as he'd imagined. Asuka being there, whispering in his ear, had quieted his fears even more than the alcohol had numbed them. The morning after, waking up next to the man who'd done his best to be Shinji's friend from the day they met, despite the darker whispers of the Call, Shinji hadn't felt any of the shame or regret he'd feared. Only warmth that both Kaworu and Asuka had been as happy with the night as he was.

Right up until Kaworu's weakness to hangovers had reared it's head, and he'd fled the room in haste for the bathroom. Kind of like this morning, really. ...Except for the part where Kaworu was now apparently his husband. That did start his legs trembling, and more sweat rolling down his temples than the mere heat of the Las Vegas sun on the parking garage could account for. Husband. And his two wives were right behind them. He... was he allowed to be this happy?

That exact insecurity had cause more than one breakup between him and Asuka. Sometimes, the better things were going, the less Shinji felt like he was worth it, like Asuka could do better than him, and that always led to him withdrawing from her right when they were getting closer than ever, and ta-da, breakup again. Made worse each time by the way it was triggered by Asuka lowering her walls a bit more. She hated the way him doing that hurt her, he hated himself for hurting her... There were reasons that they'd taken five years to reach this point, despite how much they loved each other.

And now here he was, walking along holding his husband's hand while his wives, plural, watched the two of them with smiles. He wondered if this was some attempt by his subconscious to 'go berserk' on its own and try to overload his insecurity until it surrendered. He wasn't sure if he deserved this, but it looked like Rei wanted it, Kaworu was content with it, and Asuka... She'd been overjoyed when he'd said 'I think we got married.' And he wanted her to be happy more than anything. Was their happiness with this enough to override his fears of reaching for it? They'd all four of them been the closest of friends and lovers for years. Could he... could he do this? For them?

He shook his head. Maybe the... gulp... wedding video would reveal some answers. The address wasn't far away. Even in Las Vegas Traffic, they'd be there quickly once they got in the...

"Dude, where's my car?"

Kaworu looked at the empty parking spot in the vast garage. "Where's your car, dude?"

"Dude, where's my car?" Shinji repeated.

"Shin-dude, the car is missing!" Touji belatedly observed. In his arms, Hikari looked around in confusion.

Their suite, for a small additional fee of course, came with a reserved parking spot in the attached parking structure, right near the elevators. The last Shinji could remember, they'd parked the nice, new-model Honda minivan right there the day before. Right now, however, the spot was entirely devoid of cars, trucks, minivans, limousines, or even scooters.

"Shinji, where's the car?" Asuka joined in.

"I... I have no idea. We left it here... last I can remember." Shinji dug the keys out of his pants pocket and tried clicking the fob. No locating beep returned.

Rei walked past them and examined the spot from close up. "Dude, there is no car."

"Rei, since when do you use 'dude'? I expect that from the boys, not you," Asuka said wryly.

"I wanted to participate." She knelt down. "I believe I have data."

"Eh? What have you got, Rei?" Asuka walked over to see what Rei had picked up.

"It appears we left ourselves a message as to the disposition of our vehicle, and left it pinned here under a small rock," Rei said calmly. She examined the small scrap of paper.

Asukan looked over at Rei's shoulder at it. "It's... a drunken doodle of a car on top of a.... house?" She looked at Kaworu and Shinji. "Ok, which one of you two drunken ninnies did this? I call 'not it'. And what the flurgen is this supposed to tell us?"

"We... parked the car on the roof?" Kaworu guessed.

"Why wouldn't we park it here?" Shinji asked.

Asuka held up the paper. There was indeed a sloppy, ball-point pen drawing of something that vaguely resembled a car sitting on the roof of a cartoonish rendering of a house, right down to a chimney with a little curlicue of smoke coming out of it. "This is all I'm working with, baka. You tell me. You've still got the keys. You were therefore probably the driver."

"Er... Shall we go to the roof deck and see if it's there?" Kaworu suggested.

For lack of a better idea, the group headed up the stairs to the top floor of the parking garage. There were few cars on the top deck while there were still spaces open lower down and in the shaded floors, but none of them proved to be the missing rented minivan.

Asuka surveyed the handful of non-minivans in sight with a frown. She spun around to glare lightly at Shinji. "No car. Next bright idea?"

Shinji frowned back. "How should I know?" he grumbled. The hangover and the blazing sun overhead were making him irritable. "I may have the keys, but we can't remember getting married, which is just a little more significant than 'where did we park?', so I think not knowing how to interpret a drunken doodle is forgivable!" He held up the keys and clicked the fob again.

There was a very faint 'beep-beep' from far overhead.

The quartet and the couple blinked at each other before slowly looking up in unison.

Far, far above them, the main tower of Caesar's Palace loomed over the parking garage. Shinji clicked the key fob once more, and was rewarded by another faint 'beep-beep' coming from the top.

"The car..." he said slowly.

"...is on the roof," Asuka finished, equal disbelief in her voice.

"This was an excellent note," Rei observed. "Concise and accurate."

Kaworu rubbed his face with his hands. "Why did we... nevermind. I'll go take a look." There was a faint frisson of energy as he lightly flared his AT-Field, and he floated swiftly up into the air.

Once he was level with the roof of the casino, he took a look and shouted back down to them. "I found it. It's on the roof, alright. Hang on, I'll bring it down."

The Nephilim raised his hand towards the roof of the casino. A moment later their missing minivan appeared, floating gently through the air on another AT-Field. Kaworu drifted downward alongside it, letting it settle to the concrete of the parking garage with hardly a bounce.

The other three stared at it. "Um..." Shinji said slowly. "Why..."

"...is there a bear in the driver's seat?" Asuka finished again.

"Ah, good morning, Mrs. Growlski!" Rei said, in what passed for brightly from her.

The other three slowly shifted their stares to Rei. "Rei... how did you... 'Mrs. Growlski'?" Shinji asked.

"She's wearing the pink fez. That's how you tell them apart."

"Rei, how do you know that?"

"I don't know."

"That just raises further questions!" Kaworu protested.

The polar bear blinked awake and gave them all a suspicious squint. She rolled the window down and growled and harrumphed at them for a moment.

"Yes, that's probably a good idea," Rei said. She turned to her spouses. "She's offering to do the driving if we're going somewhere, since she's betting we're all either still drunk or really hungover."

The wind blew a small tumbleweed across the garage's sunlit roof.

"Rei," Asuka said carefully, "Since when do you speak 'bear'?"

Rei gave a tiny smile and shook her head. "I don't speak 'bear', Asuka. That would be silly. I speak decent Russian, though. And Lieutenant and Mrs. Growlski are from Siberia, of course." Rei walked over to the minivan, opened the passenger door, and got in. "I will sit up front and help navigate."

Shinji and Kaworu shared a glance. "When did you learn Russian?" Shinji asked.

"Last year. I developed a taste for numerous Russian porn sites, and available translations were poor or nonexistent." She pulled a pair of sunglasses out of the sun visor and put them on. She looked out at the rest. "I believe the appropriate quote here is 'get in, losers, we're going cruising.'" She waved at the back of the van.

"I guess that explains why Rei got really into vodka that year. This day just keeps getting stranger," Kaworu said, shaking his head. He opened the side door and got in the back row.

+++

Asuka gave her friend an apologetic look. "I'm really sorry we can't remember your wedding, Hikari."

The brunette shrugged. "That's what the video is for, I suppose. And I'm pretty sure we're still going to do a traditional Japanese one once we're home, so our families can come. I am sorry I missed yours entirely! I was expecting to be your maid of honor since about 2016! Well, me or Rei."

"Does it bother anyone else that the polar bear is driving?" Shinji said worriedly.

"And where did she get the spare keys?" Touji added.

"Take the next left," Rei told the driver. She turned back to look at Shinji. "Better her than us, I think. You are all quite hungover, and I might still be slightly intoxicated."

"This remains extremely unfair," Kaworu muttered. Even the mild motion of the car through traffic was making him look green and nauseous. "I always have the worst hangovers."

"Yes, but you are a very happy and snuggly drunk, and utterly amazing in bed when you're well lit," Rei replied without missing a beat, still totally deadpan. "Flexible, too."

Hikari covered her mouth, partly smothering a laugh. "Rei, I think you are still a little drunk. Your verbal filters go right out the window when you are, and you're sounding like that now."

"I'm also affected by the sheer emotional overload of the morning. I am quite giddy at the prospect of being married to the three people I love the most in the world, and have extensive, regular, and extremely fulfilling sexual encounters with in addition to less directly active periods of pure emotional intimacy. I am currently experiencing the most fascinating combination of arousal and romantic joy. I would prefer that this state last as long as possible."

Hikari blinked. Rei had said all that with no change of tone or expression. "Um... good to hear, then? I take it you are, ah... one vote for staying married, and not trying to undo this?"

"Quite. I postulate that the tattoos may have been my idea, since they help underline the permanence."

"You sure? I mean..." Hikari looked at the others. "A.. four-way marriage? That... well, it might be legal here, but back home it's going to get a lot of funny looks."

"I have blue hair, red eyes, am part space alien, and am already globally famous for my part in the Angel War and the defeat of SEELE. I submit to you that state of affairs makes any additional worries about being stared at moot."

"....point," Hikari conceded. "I just... mostly figured it was going to be you and Kaworu one day, right along with Shinji and Asuka. Not... this."

"I am happy. Among other things it means I do not have to cease sexual relations with any of them, or combinations thereof. I can continue this, and deepen the far more fulfilling emotional intimacy as well. I with to do this extensively with all of them."

Shinji blushed. "Rei, filters..."

"This marriage may be a surprise, but I am content. I do not wish to undo this. I love them all beyond my ability to verbally express, and have for some time, Hikari. While I may not be able to express it to my satisfaction, I wish to spend the rest of my life trying," Rei stated firmly.

Hikari opened and closed her mouth a few times. "Well," she said eventually. "I can kind of understand that feeling, I suppose." She looked at Touji and gave him a kiss.

"Hee hee, babies," Touji mumbled happily, a goofy grin on his face. "What she said, too. Same for me."

"I'm pretty sure you're not interested in sex with Kaworu, Touji," Asuka snarked. "Or even cuddling."

"Nope. Just Hikari. Lots and lots. So married. Mweee..."

Mrs. Growlski harrumphed something more, pointing with one paw.

"We are here," Rei interpreted.

+++

 

[Strypgia]

Well... I should have expected this. This, as usual, got way bigger than I thought. Here's Hangover pt 4, 5441 words of WAFF and booze. Rei has an idea. Misato has a bottle. And Asuka has a breakthrough... that she won't remember.

Art? Sure, why not?

Spoiler: Art!

Evangelion: The Hangover Part 4

+++

Shinji was very grateful for the dark sunglasses he'd found in one of the minivan's pockets. Even with them, the ohgodsobrightithurrrrrrts sun made him wince badly as they all piled out on the parking lot in front of the Chapel of the Flowers. It did look vaguely familiar to Shinji's eyes. Obviously, if they'd been there last night and gotten married, according to the paperwork Asuka had in her hand, but it still felt weird to him that he could only get a hazy deja-vu feeling of having been there before when it was theoretically the site of the most important moment in his life since the day they'd averted Third Impact.

Mrs. Growlski harrumphed and growled at Rei for a moment as she got out. Rei nodded and closed the passenger door. "Mrs. Growlski will stay here and keep the air conditioning going so the car is cool. She doesn't like Vegas' heat," she reported as they started to walk to the chapel's front entrance.

Shinji and Kaworu shared a confused look before a simultaneous shrug as they fell in behind Rei and Asuka. Shinji put his arm around Kaworu as they went. His husband (!!!) still looked pretty green, and the sunlight and heat was hitting him even harder than it was Shinji. Kaworu gave him a grateful nod and a weak smile.

Gods, that smile always made Shinji's stomach flutter. And the feeling of being able to put his arms around Kaworu in public... Shinji gulped as they went inside and the blissful cool of high-powered a/c washed over them.

+++

The woman at the counter looked up from her smartphone as the band of newlyweds approached. "Ah, hello, Mrs. Soryu-Ayanami! Great to have you and your spouses back so soon! You too, Mister and Misses Suzuhara. I'm betting you're here to pick up your videos? You all left in such a hurry last night, but I can understand why."

Asuka blinked. She looked again at the papers in her hand. She'd glanced at them before they'd left, but mostly just to verify they were indeed their marital paperwork and to get the address of the chapel. She hadn't looked at the details. But yes, right there in black and white, was her new, legal name and those of her spouses: Asuka Langley Soryu-Ayanami, wife: Rei Soryu-Ayanami, husband #1: Shinji Soryu-Ayanami, husband #2: Kaworu Soryu-Ayanami.

'They took my name? All of them? I...' Asuka bit her lip and suppressed the urge to grab one or all of them and kiss their brains out. Or cry. But neither of those were something she could let herself do right now. They were in public. And... reasons. Yeah. She shook herself. 'Focus, Asuka.'

"Ah... you can understand?" Asuka began. "You'll have to refresh us. I'm afraid there was just a bit of celebratory drinking afterwards, so we're all kind of hung over and blurry on something we all really wish we we're crystal clear on."

The young blonde woman smiled and nodded. "Ma'am, I've worked here for five years, seen hundreds of weddings, but I don't think I've ever seen any couple or more come through here that was as... as joyful as you and yours were, or more in love. That speech you gave to propose to them all was... I swear, we had at least three couples and one trio sign up to get married today because of your speech. It was the most moving and romantic thing any of us had ever heard. I kissed my husband so hard that night when I got home..."

Asuka stared at her. "What."

The countergirl nodded, smiling broadly. "Actually, my manager said he wanted to talk to you when you came in to pick up the disc. He wanted to talk to you about seeing if we could use some of it in our marketing and advertising materials. We would compensate you and credit you, of course, but only if you wanted us to. We could anonymize it as well. We can understand if you want to avoid anyone making a fuss about your... unusual arrangement. Though you did um... shout to the entire parking lot 'HOLY SHIT, I'M MARRIED!' as you all left last night. Mrs. Suzuhara did too, come to think of it."

"What." Asuka was still frozen.

Shinji slid up next to Asuka and took her hand, massaging the back of it with his thumb. "Er... that's um... very kind of you, but could we see the video first? We're not really in shape for ah... detailed negotiations right now," he said to the woman.

"Oh! I'm sorry Mister Soryu-Ayanami! Yes, of course. I'm terribly sorry. We're all just... very excited by it. To tell the truth, the staff have been watching it over and over again this morning, showing it the morning staff who weren't here last night to see it. Please, follow me. I'll take you right to the video department."

She walked out from behind the counter and gestured for them all to follow her down the hall to the right.

"Asuka, what did you say?" Hikari hissed in her ear as they followed.

"I... I don't know!" Asuka finally managed, snapping out of her shock. "You don't remember?"

Hikari shook her head. "We were pretty drunk too, but I don't remember you making any speeches before Touji and I left, so it must have been after that."

"Were Commander Katsuragi and Inspector Kaji still here? Would they know?" Kaworu asked.

"It was probably her fault," Asuka muttered. "And it doesn't matter if they know or not. We're about to see it for ourselves anyway."

"I just want to know how much to thank them or blame them," Kaworu replied.

"Thank. Definitely thank," Rei said softly, smiling faintly.

Shinji let go of Asuka's hand and pondered the idea himself as they walked. How did he feel about all this, really? Misato had been encouraging of him and Asuka as a pair, and more than once been Shinji's shoulder to cry on when he'd fucked things up and caused another temporary break-up with her. Especially the first bad one, where Shinji had been afraid that was it forever. Misato had been the one to reassure him Asuka loved him back just as much as he loved her, just that they were both bad at communicating it. She'd been the one to give him the courage to try again.

And now here he was. Married. To not just Asuka, but Rei and Kaworu as well. The three people in the world who had said they loved him. That Asuka had been half-drunk, fully nude, lying on top of him, and blushing as red as her hair when she mumbled, then shouted it at him had only made him even more sure she was telling the truth. That Rei and Kaworu had said it more softly and sweetly as they held him on their own occasions had been very... them.

'Huh. In fact, all three of them said that to me while we were all naked, buzzed, and post-coital. And we got married nearly the same way. My love life is as deep and wild as it is partly thanks to alcohol. I think I can blame-slash-thank Misato for that one too,' he mused. His eyes were almost automatically drawn to the three backsides walking in front of him. They were all gorgeous, from Asuka's stunning, toned one to Rei's smooth, sweetly curved one to Kaworu's firm, mathematically perfect one. They all loved him and would happily spend all day in bed with him, and had more than once. And he now had official permission to do this for the rest of their lives, every night. All three of them...

Shinji Soryu-Ayanami became uncomfortably aware he was suddenly feeling very... compassionate. Oops.

He dropped his hands to attempt to cover the abrupt appearance of a tent pole in his trousers. The effort was doomed to failure. He could feel his cheeks heating.

Rei sensed his agitation, and turned to examine his face. She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped before she uttered a single word, seeing his face. He could see her eyes widen, then flicker downward for a moment. A small but definite smirk appeared on her lips. Lips she made sure to slowly lick after she made sure she had eye contact with him. Shinji swallowed, his blush and... compassion getting worse.

"You are... tense, my husband. This may be embarrassing," Rei whispered. "I have an idea."

+++

A couple of minutes of walking took the group to the back of the chapel's office side. Rachel, the countergirl, smiled at them as she rapped on the door marked 'Video Department'. A moment later it opened, and she waved them inside.

Asuka blinked in surprise again. On the large screen over the broad video editing console and monitors, her own face was frozen on a paused video.

"Oh... oh my. Asuka, you look..." Kaworu tried to find words for it. "Asuka, you're beautiful."

The Asuka on the screen was frozen mid-radiant smile, a look of unfettered joy lighting up her face. She looked impossibly happy, her brilliant blue eyes sparkling at the camera over Shinji's shoulder. The Third Child's back was to the camera, so she was apparently speaking to him at the time the video was paused. Or possibly Rei or Kaworu, who were standing close to Shinji, all three of them facing Asuka.

It took Asuka a moment to tear her gaze away, her cheeks slightly pink. "I..." She coughed, her throat suddenly tight. "I take it that's my... ah, speech?"

The video tech, a Hispanic man who's nametag said 'Roberto', nodded. He looked shocked himself, suddenly face to face with the woman on his screens. "Uh... y-yes, ma'am. Actually, that's right after it. We were trying to capture the look on your face at that particular moment."

"That particular moment?" Hikari asked. "Because she looks so happy?"

"That's the moment all three of them said 'Yes', ma'am," he explained. "You... lit up when they did. Even more than during your proposal speech."

Asuka colored further. "Ahem!" she cleared her throat again. "S-so I see. I... wait, I asked them?All three of them? And I made a speech?"

"Yes, ma'am." The tech hesitated. "You... don't remember? Uh... from the video, the entire thing was your idea."

"We got a bit drunk afterwards," Asuka mumbled. "And I bet some of the blame goes to Misato on both parts of that. I-...wait, where are Shinji and Rei?"

Kaworu, Hikari, and Touji blinked and looked behind them. There was a distinct lack of Children, First or Third.

"I... they were right behind us when we left the front, I thought?" Touji said.

Asuka massaged her forehead. "How do both of them get lost in... agh. Kaworu, where are they?"

Kaworu smiled a bit and swept his eyes across the wall and door. He always did seem to enjoy using his powers at the command of his friends-turned-spouses. "I... there they are. I See them coming down the hall. They'll be here in a moment."

A patter of rapidly approaching feet sounded in the hall, resolving to a missing pair of ex-Pilots slowing down to a walk, their faces red and slightly sweaty. "H-Hi, everyone!" Shinji stammered. "We just got a l-little... sidetracked. Rei and I, um..." He looked at Rei, who was smiling enigmatically.

The bluenette sauntered over to Kaworu, put her hands on his cheeks, and pulled him into a deep kiss. She broke it off after just a few seconds, however, and turned to do the same thing to Asuka.

Asuka's eyes went wide as Rei thoroughly kissed her wife. Rei ducked her head to the side to whisper something in Asuka's ear when she ended the kiss, and tucked something into Asuka's right pocket as she did. Asuka's face was beet red when Rei pulled back, and she was biting her lip hard and panting.

"You can check if you want to," Rei purred quietly. She licked her lips.

Asuka emitted a high-pitched keening noise, closed her eyes, and vibrated in place for a moment. She gasped and sagged when it ended. She fixed Rei with a glare that managed to mix vengeful admiration and no small amount of frustrated lust. "I... am... so going... to get you... for that... later," Asuka panted.

"Tonight, I am all yours," Rei said with a tiny smirk.

Asuka bit down on a groan and pinched her eyes shut. "Stop that, you little minx!"

"Not for the rest of our lives," Rei replied. She looked at Kaworu. "Did I put a thought in your head, my other husband?"

The gray-haired Nephilim tore his eyes from where he'd been staring at Shinji. He swallowed. "Nnnng. Nope. I'm good," Kaworu said in a strangled voice. "I'm just going to... stand behind this chair for a bit."

Asuka grabbed Shinji's hand and hauled him closer. "Shinji, my dear, could you help hold me up for a bit? My knees are feeling a bit wobbly." She threw another glare at Rei, who continued to look like a cat that had definitely gotten a canary or two.

Shinji obligingly put his arms around her, and muttered something into her ear. Asuka's face softened a little. "Dork." She shook herself. "Alright, ah... Roberto? Could you start it... no, wait, back up a bit. Show us the Suzuhara's first, since we came for them first."

"Of course, ma'am." The tech sat back down and began pulling up the appropriate video. Rachel closed the door to give them a modicum of privacy to watch, but stayed around herself, apparently wanting to see the whole thing again.

+++

14 hours before

"I can't believe we're really doing this!" Hikari almost squealed. "Oh god oh god oh god I've wanted this for so long!"

"Stay cool, Hikari," Asuka calmed her. "I... wow, that stuff Misato gave us is some crazy shit. I feel super-drunk and totally focused and spober. I mean sober." She giggled.

"I know, right?" Hikari breathed, her shimmery blue satin gown shaking as she tried to suppress her own giggles. "I can't stop thinking about how much I love Touji and want to be his wife and just how hard I'm going to fuck his brains out once we get back to the hotel as a married couple!" She waved her tightly clutched bouquet like a wand and did a fairly good impression of Sailor Moon's transformation twirl. "Ta-DAAAA! Magical Fiancée Pretty Hikari is now Super Wifey Suzuhara! In the name of the moon, I will tie you to the bed and ride you all night!"

"Man, that blue stuff is gold if it can make you talk like this 5 minutes before your wedding," Asuka snorted. She paused. "I want some more."

"I'm just glad it worked," Hikari said. "We were already drunk as lords... drunk as ladies? Eh, whatever. Point is, we were already shitfaced when Misato had that great idea. If we showed up here staggering drunk, they'd have turned us away! And I don't want that! I want my husband right now, and I want to get fucked!"

Asuka covered her mouth with both hands and tried to muffle the sound. Misato had the BEST ideas...

+++

Two hours earlier than before...

"Jesus, Hikari, I know this is your engagement party, but leave some of your fiancé for the wedding?" Misato snarked. The casino bar was scarcely quieter than the gaming floor, but it had fairly good, cheap drinks that went on their rooms' tab, and nice close conversation pits.

Hikari slowly and reluctantly pulled her lips away from Touji's, where they'd been welded for a good 10 minutes straight this time. She stayed put right in his lap, though. "I dun ~hic~ wanna, Mishato. I wanna suck face with him and shee if I can get him ta put his hand up my skirt agin."

"Uh... right here in public, Hikari?" Shinji said. He didn't seem to notice he was still sitting so tightly between Asuka and Rei all three of them could check each others' pockets without moving.

"Oh, like you've never done that before," Asuka and Rei said in stereo. They looked at each other in surprise before breaking into laughs and tapping their drinks together.

Misato just shook her head. "Man, you need to get fucked in the worst way, Hikari."

"Noooo, in the best way, Misato!" Hikari giggled. "By this massive meaty hunk of my man right here! But we can't!" she moaned in sadness. Then she moaned in a... less sad manner as she wiggled on Touji's lap.

"Why not?" Misato probed. "You're both old enough, you're living together back home in Japan, and this is your own official engagement party. What's the trouble? You've got your own room, and no one here is going to do anything but cheer you on if you throw Touji over your shoulder, haul him upstairs, and make a man out of him."

Touji nuzzled Hikari's neck and gave Misato a sad smile. "She made a promise. And I ain't going to even go near asking her to break it. I love her more than anything, so I'm backing her up one hunnert perschent." He hiccuped.

"Promise?" Kaworu asked, idly running his hand through Rei's hair and tracing his fingers down her shoulder. He always was touchy and cuddly when the booze kicked in. Rei shivered in delight and tugged him closer to her other side.

"I promised my mother when she died... I mean, when she waz dying.... I mean, when we thought she waz dying, stupid SEELE bullshit..." Hikari said slowly. "Tha I wuddn't have shex with nobody until I was married. So we wait. Eben though I've wanted Touji for years. 'Cause Imma good girl."

"Yeah, but... you love each other and you need this, so maybe y'all should just quit messing around and get married already..."

"Mmm, that soundz sho gud, Mishato, but... the wedding hall we wanted izn't 'vailable until December and we hav' ta plan errything," Hikari moaned again. "I hate waiting... We've waited for years already..."

"Wait!" Misato slammed her fist into her palm, jostling Ryouji as he tried to take a sip of his own Black Russian. "Waitaminute! We're in Las Vegas! The one city in the world where 'Hey, I need to get married in a big damn hurry' is no problem!"

Asuka barked a laugh. "Ok, hold up there, miss Wedding Planner. Two things I need to mention first. Number one: Shinji is great in bed and he's sleeping with me tonight."

"Asuka, what does that have to do wi-"

"Nothing, I just like bragging. Number two: The least drunk one here is Kaworu, and I have watched him down at least six cocktails. And I mean drinks this time."

Rei and Shinji started giggling. Kaworu just stuck his tongue out at her and finished off his tumbler. "Seven," he shot back at her. "And you had no complaints when it was your turn last time."

"Shaddap. Anyhows, Misato, none of ush are anywhere close to sober, or even good enough to fake it. We go near a chapel right now, and they'll tell us to go sleep it off first. This may be Vegas, but Hikari and Jock Stooge are high and dry until we all dry out tomorrow. Then maybe we can talk about moving the wedding from 'this winter' to 'tomorrow night'."

Misato pouted at her for a moment, then brightened. "HA! Wait! Shows what you know! I've got this!" She dug energetically in her large Coach purse for a second before triumphantly pulling out a large screw-topped thermos with a NERV logo on the side. "Ta-Daaaa!"

"What the Hell is that?"

"Something Ritz gave me before we left. She just finished it. LCL-derived party fuel!"

"Uh... explain, Misato?" Shinji asked, taking a sip of his own drink.

"LCL-based, but mixed with some specialized additives and alcohol, it doesn't exactly sober you up, but it makes everything clear if you're sloshed, so you can think and do stuff if you need to without losing your buzz! We can fool them all with this stuff, get Hikari and Touji hitched, and be back here to keep the party going all night! This is our 'Vegas Cut-Loose Week', right?"

"I'm hammered, horny, and hugging more than one person I've slept with, so this all sounds like a great idea!" Asuka shouted. "Hikari, sound good to you?"

Hikari slammed her own empty cup on the table between her and Misato. "Bartender, fill me the fuck up!"

+++

Two hours later...

"I now pronounce you... man and wife," the minster finished. "You may kiss the bride."

Hikari threw her arms around Touji and kissed him harder than ever before. She tossed the bouquet blindly at Asuka, who caught it automatically before her yes-occifer-I-am-sotally-tober brain caught up to what her hands were doing.

Misato giggled and pointed at her from next to Asuka, where she'd been standing in as 'Mother of the Bride' to Asuka's 'Maid of Honor'. Across from them, behind Touji, Ryouji (Father of the Groom) laughed and Shinji (Best Man) looked like he couldn't decide if he wanted to blush or go pale. He settled for staring at Asuka in shock and standing very still.

Asuka couldn't look away. "'You love each other and you need this, so maybe y'all should just quit messing around and get married already...'" she whispered to herself. "'We've waited for years already'..." Shinji wouldn't break the stare either... like he could hear what she was thinking... like always.

Hikari was still kissing Touji. With a visible effort of will, she pulled away from Touji just long enough to look at Asuka and Misato. "I... feel amazing. Did that just happen? Am I really married?"

"Yes, you are, Mrs. Suzuhara," Touji said softly in her ear. "'Til death do us part, for better and worse. We're together. I love yoUUU!" He looked quite surprised as his petite little bride hoisted him up over her shoulder and started moving surprisingly quickly towards the doors at the back of the chapel.

"Asuka we're leaving we'll get a taxi see you tomorrow don't wait up for us don't call we're going to be BUSY!" Hikari said in one rush as she dashed for the exit. "Touji, I love you~~! Mine mine mine! Heeheeheeheeheehee! We're going to get LUCKY!"

Rei and Kaworu just watched them leave with matching warm smiles. Kaworu sighed after a moment, took out his wallet, and handed Rei 1000 yen. The First Child took it with a small smirk.

"Lucky, huh? Hah! I can't believe we pulled this off! In less than 90 minutes, too!" She shook her head. "Ok, well, speaking of feeling lucky, you and I are buzzed, amped on Ritz's Romulan Ale stuff, and full of cash in Sin City. Got any ideas on what we should do next, Mister Inspector?" She elbowed Ryouji.

He laughed. "What, you don't think I can hear what you're thinking, Katsuragi? I'm feeling lucky too."

Misato snorted. "You already got me to marry you, Mister Katsuragi. So that's out, lovely as the thought is. Yes, I can hear you thinking too. And I think that's a great idea!"

"You, me, high-stakes poker, and our usual bets?" he smiled at her, a sharp edge to it.

"Damn right. First one to lose a pot loses their underwear. Feelin' lucky, mister?" Misato pulled him close and smirked at him.

"Never better, Misato. Let's do it. All night."

Misato mock-swooned. "Oh my, so lusty!" She straightened back up. "Let's hit the high-end tables at the Luxor. I'm feeling Egyptian right now." She looked over at the remaining ex-Pilots. "You all feel like coming to watch my husband fleece some suckers with his incredible poker face?"

"I think we'll wait here for a few minutes, Misato," Kaworu said equably. "I think Asuka needs to recover from catching that... tradition."

Misato smirked one more time and nodded. "Yeah, we all know what that means, and probably who. Maybe we'll have another round tomorrow night, ne? Hahaha! Keep ahold of that, Asuka. It's still got my cross!" Misato pointed at the familiar pendant she'd let Hikari borrow on short notice for the traditional 'something borrowed' part of the poem. She linked her arm with Ryouji's and they headed to the parking lot themselves.

Asuka didn't notice. She was still engaged in a stare with Shinji. No... they were drifting closer. Was he moving? Her? She finally broke the look, her eyes dropping to the bouquet still in her hands.

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" Rei said quietly, putting her hand on Asuka's shoulder.

Asuka snapped her head up to meet Rei's gaze, her face less than a foot to Asuka's right. How had she gotten so close? When? Wait, she'd asked a question...

"Uh... I... no?"

Rei smiled sadly. "Asuka... everyone knows. It's alright. We all love you. You can do this."

Asuka looked carefully at Rei, then across at Shinji and Kaworu. "No... no I can't. You're right."

Rei looked confused. "I... but I said you can. Kaworu and I... we can See it. We know it."

Asuka shook her head. "No... weren't you listening? To what Misato said earlier? 'You love each other and you need this, so maybe y'all should just quit messing around and get married already...'"

"Asuka, that's what I'm suggesting you and Shinji d-"

"No. I've got a better idea. Listen to what Misato said!"

"You and Shinji need each other, and-"

"No... we need each other."

Rei's eyes widened. "Wha-"

Asuka whirled, a ear-to-ear smile exploding onto her face. "Yes! YES! That's IT! AHAHAHAAH! We can do that! It's in the rules!" Asuka waved the glossy pamphlet of 'So You Want To Get Married' they'd picked up at the front desk. "Look! Here!" She flipped it open and pointed to something on the second page. "Quartets!" she shouted. "It's legal here! 100% legal!"

The other three Children exchanged a look. "Asuka, what-" Shinji began.

"I love you all!" Asuka shouted again, joyously. "All of you! Shinji! Everyone we know knows how much we love each other! We always have! We may be stupid and afraid and constantly hurting each other by accident but we always come back to each other because we know beyond words that we hold each others' heart. I say your name at night when you're not there! I miss you even when I'm mad at you! I can't imagine life without you near me! You were the first, the one who taught me I am worthy of love. And I will never let that feeling go. So... stand there!" She pointed at a spot near the camera, still filming.

Asuka threw her bouquet at Rei. "Rei! We may have started off at each others' throats, but it's amazing what saving each others lives a few times and saving the world can do to change that! And you've always been there for me when I thought Shinji broke my heart, or I did something stupid and thought I made him hate me... You've let me cry on your shoulder a dozen times, a hundred times, kissed away my tears when I thought there was nothing left, pushed me and Shinji back together when even I thought he would be better off with you... You believed in us and loved us when no one else would. I love you, Blue, and I'm not letting you go ever. So you stand... there!" She pushed Rei to stand next to Shinji.

Kaworu looked at her sadly, shaking his head. "Asuka, you shouldn't include me. I think this is just that 'Romulan Ale' stuff talking-"

"You SHUT THE HELL UP, Sparkles!" Asuka pointed her finger firmly at him. "This is NOT 'the Romulan Ale stuff' talking! This is my heart freed from all the fear and bullshit and lies and masks and AAAARRRGGG I always hide it behind! So what if it took that to get here? This is truth and love and years of me being an idiot when everything I have ever wanted or needed right in front of me!"

She pointed at Shinji. "The perfect man, the love of my life, my partner in battle and in life! The one who loved me first, deepest, and makes me cry in the night because I can't believe he really means it when he says those three little words!"

She pointed at Rei. "The perfect woman, the one who always believes in me and holds me when I'm weak! Who saved my life over and over when we fought to save the world! Yes, I admit it! I proclaim it! I, Asuka Langley Soryu, love a woman! One, perfect, amazing woman! One goddess, who loves me back..."

She pointed at Kaworu. "And you... I've already got the perfect man, the perfect woman... so what else could a worthless ex-Pilot possibly deserve? You. You, Kaworu fucking Nagisa, the gift of Heaven. The Angel who fell to Earth and gave us hope when there was no light. You're my light-bringer, my fallen Angel, my heavenly messenger who holds the world in his hands and gives it all to us because he thinks he's nothing."

Tears started to trickle down Kaworu's face. "Asuka, don't. I... I don't... you don't lov-"

"Bullshit, 'I don't love you'! Fuck yes, I do! Kaworu, I can see how you and Shinji are. I revel in it. And I know you love Rei not one iota less. You think I will take them for myself and leave you out in the cold for our whole lives? Idiot. You're all idiots. I decide who I love, and I have let no other man but you and Shinji ever touch my heart, you stupid, beautiful, impossible man. I will have no others but you. You love the ones I love, and they love you. I will neither forsake you or them. We are all for each other. So you... stand... there!" Asuka shouted happily, pointing him to a spot on the other side of Shinji from Rei.

Asuka stood facing all three of them. "You can say what you like. 'This is just the night talking, you'll regret this in the morning.' Wrong. This is me speaking freely for the first time. Yes, the night has helped, the feeling of watching Hikari achieve her heart's dream... but all that has done is give me clarity and courage. I've felt like this for a long time. But you know me. Always afraid, always insecure, hiding my heart and soul behind a tsundere mask because I'm too cowardly to admit I need you all and can no longer imagine living without all of you holding me, loving me, being with me..." She wiped at her own tears. "So put all that aside and do what I'm doing: listening to my heart for once in my stupid life. So I'm going to, I'm going to say this all and ask a question before the spell wears off and I retreat from it again, running away from seizing the most perfect joy in my universe... No, not this time. This time I listen to what I've wanted for years."

She took a deep breath. "Shinji, Rei, Kaworu... I don't deserve you. I'm arrogant, harsh, selfish, stupid, and cowardly. I've been a fool for years, pretending I didn't want this. But I love you more than I will ever be able to say, even if I started now and did it for the rest of my life. And I plan to. I need you more than I'll ever be able to admit ever again, though I will try. I need you to stay with me, to make me strong and powerful and whole. I need you because I'm nothing without you. And I want you all, the three most beautiful, sexy, loving people I've ever known or ever will. You are my heart, my soul, and my world. I don't care if tomorrow we all wake up and this vanishes like some dream of mist and fog. I want this moment, now and forever. So I ask you, all of you, I beg you... will you all marry me, love me, stay with me, and be my husband, husband, and wife for the rest of our lives?"

There was five heartbeats of the loudest silence that chapel had ever seen.

Three voices spoke in harmony.

"Yes."

And all was right with the world.

+++

The Present

Asuka stared at the screen. "...... what... the... fuck?"