DocMatoi
Theoretical Lover of Girls
- Location
- within 2 hours of the White House
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Girlfriend of Steel, A spin-off of dubious canon-icity, about, among other things, the three co-pilots of the T-RIDEN-T
Advice and Trust [NGE]
Schpoonman
They call me the Bord of Lays
- Location
- United States
I'm with England here. Asuka was certainly on top of the deck in that sundress to say "Look at how hot I am, and know that you're never gonna get it," but her calculating that it would be windy specifically so she could slap them stretches it for me. Why the hell would Asuka need an excuse to abuse someone? We see her take anger out on her peers physically for FAR less reason.
Besides, if I'm remembering correctly, Asuka wanted to meet Shinji. She's been hearing stories of this stone-cold badass with two solo Angel kills under his belt, and another with help, but Asuka would probably still count that as Shinji's kill. She's expecting someone that would make Kaji look like a total rookie and she's greeted with... NGE-canon Shinji Ikari. I wouldn't be surprised if Shinji had exhibited some of the spine he has now in A&T on the Over the Rainbow we would have a very different Asuka for the rest of the series.
Besides, if I'm remembering correctly, Asuka wanted to meet Shinji. She's been hearing stories of this stone-cold badass with two solo Angel kills under his belt, and another with help, but Asuka would probably still count that as Shinji's kill. She's expecting someone that would make Kaji look like a total rookie and she's greeted with... NGE-canon Shinji Ikari. I wouldn't be surprised if Shinji had exhibited some of the spine he has now in A&T on the Over the Rainbow we would have a very different Asuka for the rest of the series.
The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
I certainly believe she was trying to mask it under mean girl behaviour on occasion, but she wasn't very good at it - paper thin at best. In those specific scenes, she appears to be trying to send genuine hints and her internal conflict on the subject was the main cause in her erratic and inconsistent behaviour. Well, that and disappointment that he didn't appear to be getting the hints.
Her tone in the scenes sounds much more genuinely hinty than normal. It's the other, more common scenes that paint the picture of the bitchy side - but not very well. Her disguise is flimsy and missing patches, so to speak - like an uncanny valley of mean girls than actual mean girls.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
I agree. That's exactly what she did with the canon kiss, so I can believe it applies to more of her flirting attempts. I think some of it was Asuka misjudging the amount of 'mean girl I'm-only-kidding' smokescreen she was putting into it, and Shinji being even more emotional risk-averse than most boys. Then again, Shinji and Asuka are supposed to be walking demonstrations of how their own fears can sabotage even their best attempts to communicate their true desires to each other, so it's not surprising.
The whole overall theme of Eva has always been 'Human intimacy and communication is hard, scary, and painful... but you have to try, or else be alone and hurting your whole life.'
That's how I've always read it.
Consider her almost comical attempts to seduce Kaji.
I would modify that to say that Asuka isn't offensively cruel. She doesn't scope out a room, decide that a particular person looks like a good victim, then attack them. When her insecurities and issues pop up, her defense mechanism is go offensive.
I could also see that as a panic moment. Yes, she views her body as an asset, as something to share with a worthy partner. A gust of wind takes away a modicum of her control and she panics. Her default reaction when in panic mode is SMASH.
I'm intentionally ignoring the whole "a woman with just a bra in public is scandalous, but woman in a 2 piece swimsuit is fine.
Okay, I won't totally ignore it. In the cases where she wears a swimsuit, she chose to do so. She is allowing people to look at her body.
I will agree with that, but that still means that it's less of a simple flirtation and more of a mindfuck that's at least three levels deep, so Shinji can hardly be blamed for being confused and guarded instead of receptive. Especially since he has no idea why Asuka would pretend to be mean.
GoukaRyuu
Shadow Cabal Made Man
- Location
- New Jersey
Oh! I know of it but I have never seen it abbreviated. Too bad we don't see more Mana or Mayumi.
Matt R
Giant Robot Pilot
- Location
- North Dakota
The trouble is, with Shinji's already low self-esteem, he's already expecting that nobody could actually like him, therefore anyone flirting at him most likely has ulterior motives. The disguise may be "flimsy and missing patches," but it's enough to confirm to Shinji what he already expects. It's like how camouflage works: show the eye what the brain is already predisposed to see, and the brain won't even notice the parts that don't fit.
Crazael
Rehydrated Demon King
- Location
- Lost to the vagaries of time.
Private sadness and regret are not the same as public excitement. Especially for someone as image conscious and internally conflicted as Asuka.
I've seen a few fics do something like that.
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Lord Sovereign
The Emperor of shitty fanfic
- Location
- England
Um...most people communicate with each other just fine. It's just those two are completely fucked in the head (and may also be turning their brains off and doing what the plot demands ....no no no, I keep my bitching to myself these days...) along with everyone else in the show.
The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
Asuka's trying to go for a simple flirtation... but because of everything else it gets rather muddled - Asuka seems unable to really grasp context and understand why:
a.) He might be confused by her behaviour.
And
b.) Why he may be too hesitant to reach out and take the hints if he gets them.
But despite all this, Asuka put herself in some extremely compromising positions - you don't just do that to make fun of people since it runs the risk of humiliating yourself. Were Shinji not so damaged, he probably would have picked up on that. But he was, so he didn't.
This. If just one of them wasn't nearly as fucked up then they probably could have sorted the issue out.
...
......
Wow, that line describes sooooo many things in Evangelion...
She was rather obsessed with Kaji though - this seems like a case of apples and oranges. For one thing, she wasn't remotely conflicted by her feelings, fucked up as they were, with Kaji.
I was speaking of how clumsy her attempts were.
That's just it - she's not. She can't, because she's too scared. She's deliberately adding layers of deception to it to give herself a way out, dooming the actual attempt in the process because it no longer is simple.
I'm sure I've read that scene somewhere, or one just like it.
No, I agree with Grimlok that it's a panic reaction. She didn't think through the hazard of wearing a loose skirt on the deck of a ship at sea* and was embarrassed both at having her private place seen and at realizing that it was her own fault. It being Asuka, she didn't blush and run and hide.** She got angry and stuck out at the only available, if innocent, targets. (Asuka: Well, they probably enjoyed what they saw! Baka hentai!)
Toji, on the other hand, deserved the following kick.
As far as trying to impress Shinji, that may well have been her (perhaps unconscious) intent. She had just been rejected by Kaji, which hurt her sense of pride and made her doubt her attractiveness. So she dressed and acted ("I've filled out, too.") to catch the notice of the desirable Hero of Tokyo-3--who probably has girls all over him because what boy would pass up the opportunity?--repairing her ego and, she would think, making Kaji realize that others consider her she is a hot woman, dammit, so he should, too!
Boy was she disappointed! After that, her disdain for him makes more sense.
Flirting can be for the purpose of bolstering one's ego. It can also be just for fun without the desire to follow through. In either case, it doesn't have to imply cruel intent. (And of course it can be for testing the waters as to how the other person feels, as some above have implied.)
____________________
* Misato's skirt was snug enough not to be affected by stray zephyrs. Or the backwash from the VTOL that had just landed.
** Rei wouldn't have noticed. Mari would have held her skirt up.
- Location
- Canada
ITTRN: We have come to the conclusion that Asuka is among the best at self-sabotage.
Dolour Luminous
The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
It.
Is.
Here.
+++++
This is something I have been working on for... over a month now. It has been... hard to write. It was prompted by a comment from far back in the thread and as such, this is based off a situation decidedly before Asuka's party.
+++++
Dolour Luminous
Is.
Here.
+++++
This is something I have been working on for... over a month now. It has been... hard to write. It was prompted by a comment from far back in the thread and as such, this is based off a situation decidedly before Asuka's party.
+++++
Dolour Luminous
"Rei, do you have a moment?"
Rei looked up to see The Trout facing her. They were plugsuited up and about to sally out against the latest Angel – a kind of hovering snowflake-bird that orbited in space. And, for some reason, he had apparently decided to cross over to her Eva's cage to speak before they sortied. There was an uncertain, but resolute look on his face. What on Earth could he want now?
Begrudgingly, she nodded, regarding him suspiciously.
"Make it quick."
"I… this burden. It is… hard to bear. I sometimes find myself feeling it is too hard. I…" he stopped, composing his words. "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being alone, of fighting the call, of-" He sighed. "Please be my friend."
Rei dropped her gaze sharply.
"You… before you came here, things were simple. They weren't good, but they were straightforward. And now…" she groaned. "Why? Why did you have to come here? Why did you have to be you? Wh-"
She stopped herself, leaving the last of her words unsaid: 'Why couldn't you have just been evil?'
"I'm sorry," came his only reply.
"I can't be your friend," said Rei, venomously. "I wish you'd never come here. I wish I'd never met you-"
She regretted saying it almost as soon as it was out of her mouth. That… had been cruel. It had been bitter and heartless – born of frustration more than any actual honesty. But the damage was done.
Kaworu's face softened, however.
"I know…" he whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Shivering slightly, he left her there, by Unit-00.
-
Kaworu gazed up at this target through the targeting visor. It was remarkably beautiful, but nonetheless gave him a sense of serious foreboding. He pushed it to the back of his mind, however. He had to kill it. When he was sure the shot lined up correctly, he squeezed the trigger. The positron beam burst from the rifle in an instant.
And missed, arcing away under the Earth's gravity.
The reaction was immediate.
Pain.
Indescribable pain.
He let out an excruciated gasp, eyes widening. He could… feel it. The angel was forcing its way in, burrowing into him, right inside and it hurt so much. It was feeling him, satisfying its curiosity over him, finding out every little thing. Clutching his head in his hands as it pushed deeper, cries began to blurt out of him.
"AAAAHH! NO! STOP! STOP IT!"
But it was no use as the angel continued to violate him, churning up every bad day, every dark moment. The lab, the months of isolation, the call, the danger of SEELE, her hostility-
"NO!" he screamed harder, "NO, GET OUT!"
That was not for this thing. It had no right. But there was nothing he could do. It was taking everything and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
"Please," he begged, his voice cracking, "Please stop."
It didn't stop, endlessly rushing in, exploring the inner depths of him. There was no respite, no mercy. It just. Kept. Going.
"Help me…" the boy cried out pathetically, whimpering now. It carried across the comms and into the ears of the pilots, the bridge crew, they heard it all.
Asuka had her hand over her mouth in horrified silence. What was it doing to him? What could cause such hurt in his voice? Shinji's own thoughts mirrored his love's. Frantically, he spoke to command.
"W-what should we do? Misato?"
And Rei? Rei sat in her plug, listening to it all, her face tightening uncomfortably. She couldn't keep listening to this; it was too much. With a shaky hand, she reached out and cut off Kaworu's comm from her.
Through the agony in his head, the boy saw the readout – showing the connection cut off.
'No… please don't leave me here… I… I need you… I- Aaaahgghhahaheatdvfggbfhdmbg!"
His ability to think fell away under Arael's violation.
Kaworu staggered out of the entry plug, still shaking. He was dazed, hurt. His thoughts were a mess, not quite registering everything. He stumbled off, down the deserted street, ignoring the orders blaring out to wait for quarantine. By the time anyone else arrived, he had vanished, into the city.
"Kaworu never reported back," said Asuka, quietly. She and Shinji glanced nervously at Rei, who was on the other side of the breakroom and looking… antsy.
"He needs help," replied Shinji, "we can't let him deal with this alone. He's going to need support."
"Agreed," said Asuka.
The two looked at Rei again. She looked back.
"What are you looking at me for?"
"Well," Asuka began in her best attempt at a diplomatic voice. "You've spent the most time around him. You should go see him."
Rei stiffened.
"That… is not a good idea."
"Why not? You're best suite-"
"No."
"Rei…" said Shinji, confused. "He's hurt, vulnerable. He… he needs someone there for him. You saw what happened; how he was!"
Rei looked at them both, their earnest expressions, the surprised disappointment. She sighed.
The door to Kaworu's… box, to use an effective description, creaked open. It was dark inside, quiet – except for a trickling sound. The patch of sunlight creeped wider as she opened the door further, casting her eyes into the room. She heard long, hard, callous breaths from out of the dark. The drip, dripping sound appeared to be from the adjacent bathroom – the shower. Nervously, she pushed the door further, more sunlight spreading across the room, over the bed and the drawn blind until-
There!
Kaworu was slumped against the wall, shuddering with his arms around his knees. His snowy hair was damp from the shower and a towel lay strewn before him. He'd apparently managed to get himself dressed at least. He slowly raised his head, his face was red, inflamed and rubbed raw. The whites of his eyes were pink and puffy – the usual shine in his irises had gone. He surveyed her, his lips quivering. She gazed down at the ruined boy. Her heart shattered.
"Oh… Kaworu…"
He only looked desperately at her.
"Asuka…"
Shinji sat Rei down and held her gaze sternly.
"What is your problem with him?" he asked, irritation spreading across his face.
"You… wouldn't understand," was the quiet reply.
"Oh, I wouldn't? You aren't even trying."
"Maybe I don't want to try," she snapped, harshly.
"Why?" Shinji snapped back, scowling. "Why are you so adamant about this? Why are you so hostile to him?"
Rei gazed at Shinji for quite some time.
Her lip trembled.
Then she burst.
"BECAUSE IT HURTS TOO MUCH TO CARE!"
Into tears. Collapsing, she was caught by Shinji, who pulled her into his embrace. Stunned by the outburst, he hugged her crying form close, stroking his hand up and down her back.
"Oh… Rei…"
Asuka slid down the wall, beside the distraught Nephilim. She wasn't sure how to do this with Kaworu – unused to offering support to someone not as close to her. Nervously, she slid an arm round his shoulders.
"I… I don't know what that thing did to you… but… if you need somebody to hold onto and just let it out… I'm here."
He slid wordlessly into her embrace, shuddering. She clutched him and began rocking gently, hoping to somehow sooth him.
"What… happened to your face?"
"Had to… get it out," he muttered, "Had to get clean… scrub it all away… but… I can't." A sickened lump caught in her throat at his words. "It's still in here… it's everywhere – I can feel it! A-and it just makes me feel so… filthy… disgusting. I feel sick."
A shudder ran across Asuka. Both terrified and horrified at his words, she tightened her grip on him, stroking up and down his back. She didn't know what to do, what to say.
She could only keep hold and hope.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered out.
"My life is a joke," he continued, viciously. "And it showed it all to me. I have nothing… I am nothing… worse than that, even."
"What?" asked Asuka, staring down at him. "You aren't nothing. You're our friend, we care about you – that's not nothing-"
"SHE DOESN'T CARE!"
His shout was sudden and… almost seemed demonic, primeval even. It shook her to her very core. Something clicked inside Asuka.
'Oh. Oh shit…'
"I'm nothing to her," he whispered, now sobbing into her shoulder.
"Mein Gott, Kaworu… I'm so sorry."
She had no idea what to do. Kaworu seemed to be shattering into crumbled shards and she didn't know how to stop him – to help him.
"All I ever know of her is pain… but… I just can't help wanting her more…"
Taking a deep breath, Asuka had no idea what she was going to say – but she had to say something.
"Kaworu. I know Rei well. Very well. For what it's worth… I don't think you're nothing to her."
Casting her mind back, she scrutinised what she recalled of Rei's behaviour as of late. Examining what she remembered, trying to get a sense of the Ayanami perspective.
"I think she's confused. I think she doesn't know what to do, so she pushes you away."
Kaworu clutched her like a lifeline, seeming to take hold of her every word desperately.
"R-really?"
"I think so. Just… don't give up on things yet. What just happened… was terrible. Awful. But… it can get better. Promise me you'll at least try?"
Finally, he looked up at her, his face a mess. He sniffed, but there was now the dawning of hope on his face.
"I… I can try."
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DB_Explorer
Purveyor of alternate realities.
- Location
- San Diego, California
- Pronouns
- He/Him
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
edit: sorry it was the first thing to pop into my head with that line.
FlyingScanian
Tea Addict
- Location
- Land of Eternal Night
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Don't be, makes perfect sense.
Seems that being Kaworu is to suffer, at least in these parts. I hope he gets some well deserved hugs and a bit of happiness (and not the mutual murder-suicide I've predicted)
- Location
- Canada
In This Thread Right Now. We shift too much to ever say ITT.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Strype has a plan...
- Location
- Canada
So does Gendo and SEELE. Doesn't make me trust them. I trust you, but your plan...
Turing Decidable
𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕗
- Location
- Belgium
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Huh. I'm also kicking around an idea for an omake that involves Kaworu being subjected to Arael.
That being said...
My heart is in tiny, tiny pieces. Again.
Lord Sovereign
The Emperor of shitty fanfic
- Location
- England
NO PITY FOR THE ALIEN!
Turing Decidable
𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕗
- Location
- Belgium
- Pronouns
- He/Him
