You exhale.
It's all she wants. Something so heartbreakingly simple... Well. It
is simple.
You stay.
It's nice to have a simple decision every now and then, you suppose.
Some of the tension bleeds out of Mami's shoulders when you make no move to get up. With a quiet sigh, she nestles against you, eyes drifting shut. She doesn't even seem to mind the way your hair and shirt are both crusty messes. Hers too, since she's lying on top of you, but
mostly you.
Ah, well.
You wrap your arm around her a little tighter, continuing to stroke her back slowly with your other hand. Slow, rhythmic, as much to comfort her as to give yourself something to focus on.
"Mami?" you whisper. Soft and gentle. "Do you want me to get rid of the privacy construct? I... I guess we're done talking about all this stuff tonight."
"Y-yes," she murmurs, shifting a little. Her hair tickles the bottom of your chin.
"OK," you agree, and dismiss the construct. Once again, you crush the Grief into tiny marbles as fast as you can, the sensation blipping in and out of existence almost faster than is noticeable.
"Mmm." Mami sighs, and relaxes.
It's nice, you guess. You wish circumstances weren't so... dire, but you can't deny that you truly
do enjoy having Mami here with you.
Are you manipulative?
You think a lot. You
analyse and you plot before you act. When you act with foreknowledge... Is that being manipulative? From a lot of points of view, it is. But then, from another point of view... cajoling someone to do something based on what you know of them is pretty much everything that social interaction
is.
Ah, well. Stupid question, you suppose. Next question...
Are the two of you in a relationship?
That's a stupid question, too. Of course you are.
Not necessarily in the hands-clasped-over cheeks sense. You don't know about that. But you care about Mami. She's nearly always at the forefront of your mind. How often do you choose to do something, or
not do something specifically for her sake?
Which, you suppose, answers your earlier question. As you said. You want to be there for her. You like giving her hugs, you like spending time with her. You want her to make her happy, and she makes you happy. Not much of an epiphany, really, but putting it in words is nice. You care about her.
It
is that simple. Not easy, but simple.
Mami stirs a little. "Sabrina?"
"Yes, Mami?" you give her a soft, warm smile.
"I-" she tries to smile back, but the expression falters. "I'd l-like t-to clean up. S-shower. But I d-don't w-want to- S-sabrina, you'll stay?"
"I'll stay," you say, smiling firmly, even though you quail a little inside. You're not sure you're entirely willing to be literally
in the shower with Mami. Especially not with Mami in the state she is. "I promised."
Mami bites her lip. "S-sorry. I, I could-" She looks away. "Sorry."
"No," you say, smiling at her and tightening your arms. "You have nothing to apologise for. Is there something on your mind?"
"I..." Mami raises her hand, a twist of yellow extending between her fingers. She swallows, tremulously meeting your eyes. "I-if- t-that's alright?"
You smile, and wordlessly offer your wrist. It might be a bit of an imposition, but, well... she can impose on you. It's nothing less than she deserves.
Mami ties the ribbon around your wrist manually, looping it once, then twice, and pulling it into a simple bow. "I-is this alright?" she asks, voice tiny.
"It is, Mami," you say, as soft and gentle as you can, before you pull her into another hug. She's shaking. "Mami, I'm not going anywhere."
"A-alright," she whispers, ducking her head. "Sorry."
"You wanted to wash up, right?" you ask, giving her an encouraging smile. "I'll wait outside the bathroom, and I'll have the ribbon on."
"A-alright," she repeats, tears starting to gather at the corners of her eyes again.
Madokami on high, but it
hurts to see her like this.
You hug her close for a few minutes, until the shaking subsides.
"S-sorry," she mutters, wiping at her eyes.
"None," you repeat.
She nods jerkily, slowly levering herself upright, straddling you. "I-"
You sit up, pulling her onto your lap, and then gently guide her to stand with you. "OK?"
Mami nods again, wobbling a little.
Taking that as a small sign of progress, you guide her gently to the bathroom. You don't leave her for a bit, helping her to wash her face. Just a soft cloth and careful wiping. She then insists on helping
you to clean up, to which you acquiesce.
Well, maybe
insist is too strong a word, but in her state of mind, anything she wants at all...
"OK," you say, giving Mami another smile. "Change of clothes?"
She nods, glancing at the folded pajamas in her hands.
"Good," you say, holding up the wrist with the ribbon tied around it, leading to Mami's wrist. It's a little cumbersome, really. "I'll be outside, OK?"
"A-alright," Mami says.
You give her one last smile, and retreat to lean against the closed door. You'll shower next, and then... probably go to sleep.
And so you do. Mami latches onto you the moment she emerges from the bathroom, having barely bothered to dry herself off. After calming her down again, you shower, and then you help Mami with her hair. And finally, you head to the bed.
"S-sorry," Mami whispers, curled up on her side. "F-for being all... this."
You hug her firmly from behind. "Mami, no," you whisper. "I understand. I really do. And I don't blame you."
She shakes her head, but doesn't say anything. Her breathing evens out eventually.
Asleep, then.
"T-thank you, Sabrina," she whispers, so quietly you almost miss it.
... or not.
"Thank
you, Mami," you murmur back. "Thank you for accepting me. Goodnight."
It takes a while, but you finally drift off with arms wrapped around Mami, and her hair tickling your nose.
[] Write-in
=====
Next morning...
