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Warhammer Fantasy: Divided Loyalties - an Advisor's Quest

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Spector29 said:
About ten days of dedicated reading later, I have caught up to the thread. It's wild to have traversed three years of writing in a little under two weeks.

I look forward to not contributing anything useful, considering my complete lack of setting knowledge! I'll be supporting votes that include romance options (Pan for us, as well as taking any opportunities we can to meddle in our friend's love lives) and furthering our Ranald worship, since that's what interests me most as a player.

Amazing work, Boney.
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Welcome, friend. Glad to have you here. But with regard to lack of faith in your contributions, I've heard this one before:
picklepikkl said:
Hey, I just read this entire quest over the last two days of frenzied archive bingeing (thanks to the FoD/ToD community on Discord for pointing me here) when I should have been doing other things, and I wanted to say that this is super awesome even though I knew nothing about Warhammer going in beyond a basic sketch of the WH40K factions.

Not sure how active I'll be, given how ill-equipped I am to participate in decision-making, but wanted to register my approval publicly.
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And now I am one of the most active non-QM posters in this thread (held the top spot awhile, but then DragonParadox passed me during the Dum expedition). So pardon me if I stroke my chin thoughtfully when you express doubt in your own participation levels :p
 
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Rules to Surviving Warhammer Fantasy
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    • Spector29 said:
    I look forward to not contributing anything useful, considering my complete lack of setting knowledge! I'll be supporting votes that include romance options (Pan for us, as well as taking any opportunities we can to meddle in our friend's love lives) and furthering our Ranald worship, since that's what interests me most as a player.
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    Rules to (statistically increasing the low odds) surviving Warhammer fantasy

    Rule 1: Don't touch the mummy gold, idiot.

    Rule 2: don't go into the woods without a gun and backup

    Rule 3: If the map says 'Here be monsters', it literally means there are monsters in that place so don't go near it.

    Rule 4: Dwarfs don't forgive, they get even, pay the grudge tribute or run like hell and never stop running.

    Rule 5: Elves are proud, passionate, and often act before they think when angry. they are also on average better at stabbing than you are at dodging. don't piss them off

    Rule 6: don't look at the evil moon

    Rule 7-9: Don't. Look. At. The. Evil. Moon!

    Rule 10: The giant sleepy frogs are basically demi-gods, don't piss them off.

    Rule 11: don't piss off the giant sleepy toad's Lizard people bodyguards.

    Rule 12: just don't go near the continent of Lustria.

    Rule 13: or the northpole, there are demons that way

    Rule 14: or the southpole, there are even worse things that way.

    Rule 15: look, there really isn't any good choices, but the Old World isn't the worse of a bad lot.

    Rule 16: don't sniff weird glowing dust, that's not even a good idea Irl.

    Rule 17: Never fully trust Magic, It has an opinion, and that opinion is that you should be turned into a cronenberg. Wizards are just better at convincing it to do so later and hoping they die before 'later'.

    Rule 18: if the people with goatheads, RatheadS, one-eyed bird-lizard heads or the elves in BDSM gear are about to capture you, slit your own throat, I know this list about surviving, but sometimes you're better off dead.

    Rule 19: in all honestly, if you only care about surviving, the chaos gods aren't the worst, sure your going to lose your soul, or be turned into an abomination, but you will still be breathing.

    Rule 20: Don't piss off the Gods, evil or not, in this setting smiting is an actual thing that happens fairly often.

    Rule 21: if it looks like it wants to eat you, it does, if it doesn't look like it wants to eat you, assume it does so eat it first.

    Rule 22: don't stand near human artillery or gunlines if you can help it, they have not fully solved the 'blowing up at random' problem.

    Rule 23: don't stand near an Orge, even if they are friendly. you are food and they are always hungry.

    Rule 24: Halflings are simple folk, not dumb, and there is nothing more simple than a knife in the back for dealing with problematic folk.

    Rule 25: If you are sick, go to a priest, not a doctor. one of them uses unscientific mumbo-jumbo, the other is a priest.

    those are the first 25 rules to (statistically increasing the low odds) surviving Warhammer fantasy, I'm sure others will add on the rest.

    hope that helps.
     
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    • Jyn Ryvia said:
    those are the first 25 rules to (statistically increasing the low odds) surviving Warhammer fantasy, I'm sure others will add on the rest.
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    With an addendum of Do Not Trust Necromancy. It's usage rots your body and soul as much as the dead it controls, despite what Some might try to tell you. Don't walk into places where that stuff curdles without protection, preferably divine in nature.
     
    According to 2E, there are physicians in the world of Warhammer who actually do good work and do the scientific process. Yes a lot of them are quacks but that's because there isn't standard education and they still believe in the humours. Priests who can use Divine Magic aren't super common, they're rarer than a decent physician tbh.

    For Mathilde it doesn't matter, she's the top 1%. For most people finding a priest who can heal you is much harder than literally anything else you can do.
     
    Codex said:
    Priests who can use Divine Magic aren't super common, they're rarer than a decent physician tbh.
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    Priests who can do basic nursing are pretty common, and nursing seems to be a reasonably well-developed art, in the Church of Shallya. (They also sometimes have a couple of magic-healing-bandages, left over from when Shallya miraculously heals someone.)

    If whatever is wrong with you can't be handled by a nurse, you're probably doomed.
     
    Rule 27: If offered Vampirism, take it. You get magic, get stronger, get faster, and don't lose your free will like other undead. If you get good enough at fighting or good enough at sneaking you can also eat a dragon, which means you both no longer have to eat people and you stop being a crime against nature that kills the surrounding area by simply existing.
     
    Rule 28: Being a teetotaler has a very good chance of getting you killed by cholera. Make sure to drink watered-down wine instead of water, or, if you can afford to, eat as much fruit as you can to stay hydrated.
     
    Talon TigerDino said:
    Rule 27: If offered Vampirism, take it. You get magic, get stronger, get faster, and don't lose your free will like other undead. If you get good enough at fighting or good enough at sneaking you can also eat a dragon, which means you both no longer have to eat people and you stop being a crime against nature that kills the surrounding area by simply existing.
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    Counter: Everyone not a vampire, and other vampires depending, will hate you on sight. Your strength will also come with crippling weaknesses (Everyone speaking of the positives of vampirism always conveniently don't mention that, it's in the RPG book all about them). All cultures have developed means of putting down vampires, especially if they have mages using the purple wind.

    As for the dragon bit: only one example exist. And he was probably one of the best fighters in the world. You are not as good as him. And going by the count that only one known vampire achieved this feat, a specific type of Dragon is needed or most that try end up as ash, an ice statue or other ironic fate depending on the dragon.
     
    ShyPerson said:
    As for the dragon bit: only one example exist. And he was probably one of the best fighters in the world. You are not as good as him. And going by the count that only one known vampire achieved this feat, a specific type of Dragon is needed or most that try end up as ash, an ice statue or other ironic fate depending on the dragon.
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    Two, most likely.
    Zacharias the Everliving is also said to have drained a dragon and not need blood.

    But he had already done the Necrarch-thing of living mostly on raw Dhar for centuries at that point, so not much has changed.
     
    ShyPerson said:
    As for the dragon bit: only one example exist.
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    Two examples. Zacharias the Everliving also drained a dragon, though it's never explicitly confirmed if it left him without the need to drink that I'm aware of.

    ShyPerson said:
    And he was probably one of the best fighters in the world.
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    Honestly, people puff up Abhorash a lot for somebody who hasn't done a whole lot. Like, I see people putting him up next to Aenarion, which is farcical.
     
    Mopman43 said:
    Honestly, people puff up Abhorash a lot for somebody who hasn't done a whole lot. Like, I see people putting him up next to Aenarion, which is farcical.
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    The problem is that there exists virtually nothing in the official material about Abhorash, thus with the feats of killing a dragon and founding a vampire line known for being fighters leaves the easy conclusion that he was a super warrior.

    Let's ad an extra option, just to prove my dismissal of vampirism: the killing of the dragon was a fluke. Abhorash being an ultimate warrior is a myth.

    Whilst I am shooting at a sacred cow of vampire fans: Strygos was a false utopia built upon the predation of the people outside, thus the vampire overlords falling was for the better (though undeserved for their mortal subjects).
     
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    Jyn Ryvia said:
    Rule 10: The giant sleepy frogs are basically demi-gods, don't piss them off.

    Rule 11: don't piss off the giant sleepy toad's Lizard people bodyguards.

    Rule 12: just don't go near the continent of Lustria.
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    Corollary: don't touch the lustrian solid gold plaques, this is considered punishable by immediate murderization via 10 foot tall dinosaur man
     
    ShyPerson said:
    Strygos was a false utopia built upon the predation of the people outside, thus the vampire overlords falling was for the better (though undeserved for their mortal subjects).
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    What's Strygos got to do with Abhorash? It was ruled by Ushoran and was the namesake of the Strigoi bloodline, not the Blood Dragons.

    EDIT: And I don't recall anyone, in-universe or in this thread, referred to Strygos as a paradise. It's simply the only recorded instance of vampires being able to coexist with mortals without reducing them to cattle, as has been the case with the original kingdom of Lahmia and Sylvania under the heirs of Vashanesh.
     
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    [X] The Eonir of Laurelorn: Esoteric Dwarven (150 gc), Beastmen: Extensive Imperial, Extensive and Antiquarian Dwarven (300 gc), Waystones and Henges: Esoteric Imperial (150 gc and 4 CF)

    Talon TigerDino said:
    Rule 27: If offered Vampirism, take it. You get magic, get stronger, get faster, and don't lose your free will like other undead. If you get good enough at fighting or good enough at sneaking you can also eat a dragon, which means you both no longer have to eat people and you stop being a crime against nature that kills the surrounding area by simply existing.
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    DragonParadox said:
    Rule 29: If an offer looks too good to be true... RUN.
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    I am now taking the advice of the survival guide and running far away from the survival guide.
     
    ShyPerson said:
    It was a non-sequitur, aimed alongside my shots at Abhorash at the fandom belief that Strygos was an example of good vampires.
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    Strygos was never an example of good vampires, it was an example of vampires with self-control and a truly codified rule of law, which allowed them to form a symbiosis with the mortals living with them, that genuinely also benefited the mortals.
     
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    DragonParadox said:
    Rule 29: If an offer looks too good to be true... RUN.
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    Rule 30: Don't try to outsmart Chaos in a deal, or turn its power against itself. They've been doing this longer than your species has been alive, and smarter people than you have tried and failed.

    Rule 31: Don't underestimate orcs.

    Rule 32: Don't underestimate goblins either.

    Rule 33: There is no such thing as skaven, so don't go looking for them.

    Rule 34: If you happen to see any skaven despite Rule 33, your best chance is to keep quiet and hope they kill one another or their gear explodes before they notice you.
     
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