You're back on the broken ground of the city you now recognize as Anzetilight, which you now understand lies under the foundations of Sunrise city.
"Don't it feel good to get all that underhanded behavior off your chest!" you say while trying to figure out how to imaginate yourself up a fire and a marshmellon dispenser.
Zarael glances up into the sky for a moment, watching as Dawn rises in the night sky
"Tell me Za-"
"Yup, it's your turn to ask!" You say as you try to remember exactly what the marshmellon dispensers of your youth were actually like.
A hint of a smile flashes under the raised hood of her cloak, "Tell me Zara. Are you religious?"
Another question about gods you suppose.
You gather your thoughts for a moment as you calculate yourself up a fireplace in this simulation.
"I guess you could call me a seeker?" you say, "I haven't found anything that I would worship, something I would call a god, but I'm not going to not ask the question just because I haven't found an answer to it yet?"
Zarael is still quiet and you clap excitedly as the ground between you turns into a firepit and you try to imagine a lighter.
"I do have faith though." you continue after another silence, "I have faith in people. I believe in a lot of things I guess." you smile at her, "I believe in you, just not as a goddess"
There is snort from under the darkness of her raised hood, and she crosses her arms and leans back from the fire that you now have going.
You sit in silence for a long moment and she leans forward again, the flickering flames seeming to show a face much older than what you've previously seen.
"It wasn't until the end of my second century of divinity that I became religious myself." She stares at the fire, "I said before that we had to purge the entirety of our past. The old culture, the old religion, we agreed that our new era of peace and unity could only be built on a tabula rasa."
"I was still raised in that culture. The oldest of us agreed to remember the old ways to guide us away from the failures of the past"
"Those who forget their past are doomed to repeat it" you say, nodding sagely, as you slide a marshmellon down the point of an imaginary stick that you'd dreamed up.
"In that sense we Singers have remembered our origins very well. We make entirely new mistakes." says the other woman, flickering shadows cast on her face, "And so my framework is still very much Imrael at heart.
For two centuries I acted as a goddess in all the ways that really mattered. Like my sisters, I did come to think of myself as a god.
We would never openly say so, of course, that would be ridiculous. But we acted like it."
"What's it like?" you ask, leaning forward, eagerly, it's not often that you have a chance to speak with someone that could not only consider themselves divine, but have the power to back that up.
"Difficult. I always felt an immense burden to truly be godlike," she says, lowering her hood, still looking into fire. She's dropped the illusion of radiant youth from earlier. Or perhaps earlier she'd been remember herself in her prime and now she's begun to feel the weight of her years again, "And I tried to act like it"
"Eventually I turned to compare myself with the god of my ancestors"
"And I found that she was fascinating."
"Oh?" you say, popping a blackened marshmallow into your mouth and finding the simulation slightly wanting.
"In the Orthodox Imrael religion, there is a single all powerful creator god." she chuckles and reaches out her hands towards the fire, casting shadows all around her, "He's a complete bastard. There was actually much theological debate over whether he was all powerful but a force of nature, or an all knowing but not entirely omnipotent manipulator."
She pokes at the fire with a wooden staff that you remember from the earlier travels that she shared with you, "Either way, the creator of the universe was a blind force, all the laws of physics and nature bound up in a single all consuming will that didn't tolerate the deviation from creation that was intelligent, self-directed life."
"Nalaanar was the chiefest of his enforcers, Orthodoxy holds that she exterminated countless peoples until she came across the planet Vess. And on Vess, my ancestors."
"She didn't destroy your people too?"
Zarael laughs and swats at a floating cinder, "We were so pathetic that it broke her heart"
Your antennae raise in interest as you swallow another marshmellon.
"Understand that I am giving you a very abbreviated rendition of canon." Zarael says, poking at the fire some more, "What I found fascinating is the covenant that she struck with my people. How our first goddess treated us."
"We would pray to her, perform certain rituals, gift our life force to give her strength. And in return she would protect us." Zarael looks up from the fire at you, "But not directly. Instead of bringing a flaming sword to our enemies, and laying down endless decrees to our priestess, she instead would give us the opportunities to thrive."
"How so?" you say, fascinated, trying to remember everything to repeat to Courageous's xenology department.
"I understand there had been quite vicious debates over whether it was a function of Nalaanar having limited power or it was a consequence of her own beliefs, but instead of taking direct control she gives opportunities to her worshippers."
"Riiight…?"
"Small things, that if you take advantage of them, your life will be improved, or could save the entire Republic." she shrugs, "An Admiral might notice a gap in formations in the enemy fleet and take it as a divine signal to attack that part of the line. Or a worker might have the opportunity to apply for a new job that would transform their lives. Or even the opportunity to meet the love of your life while attending a party on a chance invite."
"Orthodoxy holds that risk should be taken, that followers of Nalaanar should not be passive, but instead seek out opportunities because our divine mother is holding them open for us. That Imrael need be bold. She doesn't control us, nor tell us what we have to do, but she does help us to accomplish our goals in small ways."
"Is that why you're telling me all this?" you ask, gesturing wildly with your arms at… everything and leaning even farther forward, almost falling off the front of your makeshift seat, "Because you have the opportunity too?!"
"When I found myself aboard Courageous, I finally saw an opportunity to oppose my sisters -and win."
-
You find yourself in a cemetery of sorts. You can't see or hear, or feel or taste or smell anything. But you can feel little bundles of emotion near you, radiating stillness as you and Zarael move (somehow)
"Zeesi was one of the oldest of us" Zarael communicates, hovering somewhere over your shoulder, "We travel across the breadth of Horizon together in those early days."
"She was your friend!" you send back, as you try to get your bearings in this new mental environment.
"The Padani killed her," the Singer continues as if she hadn't heard you. There's real anger there as her meaning washes over you, "Butchered her in their systems like an ordinary virus."
"Zeesi was trying to discover how they'd created an Artificial Intelligence once before. How they'd created a sophont purely with sterile code."
You can feel an emotion that you could best describe as being a lot like a tightly clenched fist radiating off of her. Then there's a suddenly a release of tension -almost like a shockwave- that is followed by a much colder anger.
"We had both voted against the initial Padani intervention."
"The Commonwealth was too far away, there were closer polities, the opportunity just wasn't there. It was pure hubris." the Singer sighs in the way that only someone with centuries of life experience can, "But we had decided that they could become a threat if we allowed them time to expand normally." There is a sense of dry frustration as she sends this, "Pure paranoia. The Padani were too insular to become a threat. Even now we see them more as a resource -or an excuse- than as a threat. Most analysis shows this. Instead of leaving well enough alone, we lost an entire Peacekeeper fleet."
She shows you a file, a dispassionate record of ships and personnel lost, and you dutifully pass the network location on to Lwema along with the seconds of the meeting where the Singers voted for intervention.
"Which isn't to speak of those that we killed." you sense a great reticence from Zarael before she speaks again, "After Zeesi was destroyed I immediately voted for direct military intervention. People died on both sides because deep down, I still place the value of my sisters over others. I was so angry that an Elder like myself was casually destroyed by emergency protocols set up to stop a childe from emerging." she says showing you the location of recordings stolen from Padani military networks.
"You do care though!" you think and feel, "Otherwise you wouldn't be working against the other Singers now!"
You feel a measure of doubt from her, "Do I really?
"I believe in you!" you insist, sending her a measure of your hope, "You're trying!"
"How little you know," Zarael's doubt continues, "It took us nearly three years to fully erase that failure from the Harmony's consciousness. We ended up erasing half those lost from history and recorded the other half as lost in a subspace anomaly while on a training exercise."
You feel an immense sadness at that statement.
"That's what this address is." Zarael directs your attention to one of the bundles of emotions and… memories?
"We Singers didn't forget them though. We made sure of that." she helps you to experience the bundle near you, and you see again. You see a brief flash of a shuttle flight panel and then nothing ever again.
"Peacekeeper Pilot Kleeshta, the Padani vessel Prudence destroyed her recovery shuttle while she was attempting an emergency evacuation of Tinin Galelain. We -I- made her family forget she was ever born. Erased her from official records, helped massage the meat until her parents had nothing but a feeling of vague loss for never having had a child. But we Singers didn't forget her. We might use, might discard, but we never forget."
"Sometimes I think that's a cruelty"
You briefly have trouble finding the right words to express your mixture of sadness, horror, and hope, "You still don't forget those that were lost, I have to believe that means that there's hope that you won't do it again."
"But we did, Zara."
Your… emotional environment changes again, you're still in the part of the Harmony network that contains the memorial, but somewhere else you think.
"We do it again and again. Each time we tell ourselves that we'll do it better. More efficiently."
She shows you a list. A list of millions of those erased from the galaxy during the Harmony's occupation of Kelowna. The top name is a member of the first gate team to encounter a Singer, and the last name is only months old.
"And we keep failing. We left Kelowna only because they broke our toys to a point where no one could ignore our actions."
You find her leading you to the section that is a memorial to the Altas sinking. To the millions that died in the KLC attack on Haven.
And also to the memorial records for the Tauni killed by a Singer lashing out in anger before her sisters reigned her in.
"We decided that if we waited. Took time to let the memories fade and try again we would find our way back to control of Kelowna."
Zarael shows you the plans. The long weeks of deliberation where the Singers had laid their plans back into place.
"Didn't you ever wonder why we left our bases in place? It wasn't the sense of guilt and fair reparations that the Sovereignty Committee felt and professed. We fully intended to return. It wouldn't do to tear down structures that we intended to use again in a few decades."
She shows you another set of plans. The reprogramming of HSDV Ameela zee Vesoley's commander and crew to harass Tauni shipping. The long term plans to destabilize independent Kelowna and drive them back into the Harmony's arms. The rage the Singers felt when the Courageous destroyed the Ameela zee Vesoley.
"All of this has happened before. And it will happen again. We're too powerful to be trusted to learn from our mistakes."