Scaling Up

FaerieKnight79 · Mar 21, 2020

Kryslin said:
Oh, Lord, I'm not even through the third chapter, and I had to stop because I'm laughing so hard...

As the title says, it gets worse. That's a great problem to have, isn't it?

Contramancer · Mar 21, 2020

Kryslin said:
Have an average length post, closer to deadline.

I recommend not drinking anything while reading, nor am I responsible for any damage done to your keyboard or monitor if you do.

Enjoy!

I daresay this would have been more effective if your disclaimer was posted before the humour. As it is, it was too late... luckily I wasn't aimed at my keyboard at the time.

the DragonBard · Mar 21, 2020

Kryslin said:
"At the moment, Taylor," he said, taking a pause, "your powers are being granted to you by my Lord and his sister. Part of my job is to teach you how to develop your own arcane spells, instead of relying on their power all the time. You will probably find this both incredibly frustrating yet easy, because you have something to examine to see how it works, so you can fashion your own version.

Time out!

Since when do gods get involved with granting 'arcane' spells?
With the possible exception of specific spells that are tied to their Domains, as in that one D&D novel.

Especially when these are spells that are from the bloodline.

FaerieKnight79 · Mar 21, 2020

the DragonBard said:
Time out!

Since when do gods get involved with granting 'arcane' spells?
With the possible exception of specific spells that are tied to their Domains, as in that one D&D novel.

Especially when these are spells that are from the bloodline.

Have you heard the good word of Mystra?

Leechblade · Mar 21, 2020

I wonder if Drow will be making an appearance...

Jonn Wolfe · Mar 21, 2020

Leechblade said:
I wonder if Drow will be making an appearance...

Makes me wish that Lolth!Taylor fic would update.

Kryslin · Mar 21, 2020

the DragonBard said:
Time out!

Since when do gods get involved with granting 'arcane' spells?
With the possible exception of specific spells that are tied to their Domains, as in that one D&D novel.

Especially when these are spells that are from the bloodline.

Taylor's knowledge of any arcane magic is granted to her via Bahamut and Tiamat; This is just the first steps toward her magic being totally her own. Right now, it's limited to a few cantrips, and a couple first level spells.

FaerieKnight79 · Mar 21, 2020

Jonn Wolfe said:
Makes me wish that Lolth!Taylor fic would update.

Link or you didn't link it?

Jonn Wolfe · Mar 21, 2020

FaerieKnight79 said:
Link or you didn't link it?

Sorry... Demon Queen of Spiders

jmcdavid · Mar 21, 2020

FaerieKnight79 said:
Might also want to read It Gets Worse.

Oh yeah, that's a good one.

Taylor gets a crazy power that influences luck. If anyone tries to do anything to hurt her...humiliating things happen to them, while Taylor comes out smelling like roses.

She doesn't even need to do anything with her power. It's literally able to work without any input from her. Crazy OP setting turns massive threats into wusses.

FaerieKnight79 · Mar 21, 2020

jmcdavid said:
Crazy OP setting turns massive threats into wusses.

And no name wusses into major threats (temporarily), while also letting a pair of goofballs have their time to shine.

Firehawk242 · Mar 21, 2020

Kryslin said:
Oh, Lord, I'm not even through the third chapter, and I had to stop because I'm laughing so hard...

Did you reach the point where Kaiser literally gets shat upon from a great height?

FaerieKnight79 · Mar 21, 2020

Firehawk242 said:
Did you reach the point where Kaiser literally gets shat upon from a great height?

Considering that's chapter 4 or 5, probably not.

Haiku · Mar 21, 2020

Kryslin said:
Some were grumbling about being called minions, others about being called stupid.

You work for a racist organisation that uses you as grunts, and you decided to stick around after your prospective victim no-selled several hits from a baseball bat. You have absolutely no room to complain.

Kryslin said:
Long after his mistress had walked away, Hunts-the-Ice was sniffing around the sleeping members of the Empire 88. Not good enough for food, he thought to himself, they smell rotten. If they were beneath the notice of the queen of dragons, then they were beneath his notice.

He displayed his disdain by pissing on them.

Good boy!

Kryslin said:
"You are even more insane than usual tonight," Battery muttered.

Considering you bought your power from an organisation that rules the world from the shadows (somewhat badly one could say) your disbelief should have proper support for its suspenders.

Kryslin said:
think those fractal bits are an expression of my para-whatever-I-am power, examining the effect. For some reason, I kept imagining them going 'Om nom nom nom nom...'

Well, it does appear to be a dynakinetic power of some kind, and magic is essentially moving forces at your command, so they're going to synergies quite nicely.

Kryslin said:
"I do have a question, though," asked Taylor.

"And that is?"

"How do I make it stop?" was Taylor's somewhat embarrassed answer.

Always an important thing to know. Never summon up what you can't put down. Also, Taylor more replied than answered, seeing what she said was a question in and of itself.

Kryslin said:
As humorous as say, a mouse startling you and said mouse is suddenly facing a large dragon in the ruins of her clothes is, it is unlikely to happen." He looked thoughtful for a second. "Unlikely, but possible, and Naichi can attest."

Kryslin said:
Naichi got a downright mischievous look on her face. "Perhaps I should regale Taylor with the story about the time Hlal hit you with a pie." At Taylor's confused look, she continued. "A dragon sized creme pie, air dropped. It was so funny, it was said, that Chronepsis almost showed emotion."

Humorous stories that we're unlikely to read. Pity, they sound absolutely hilarious.

the DragonBard · Mar 21, 2020

Kryslin said:
Taylor's knowledge of any arcane magic is granted to her via Bahamut and Tiamat; This is just the first steps toward her magic being totally her own. Right now, it's limited to a few cantrips, and a couple first level spells.

Considering what it is, you'd think they'd be pure instinct.

Leechblade · Mar 21, 2020

Haiku said:
Humorous stories that we're unlikely to read. Pity, they sound absolutely hilarious.

Perhaps Kryslin-sama will grace us with them through omake?

sdwood · Mar 21, 2020

Kryslin said:
Long after his mistress had walked away, Hunts-the-Ice was sniffing around the sleeping members of the Empire 88. Not good enough for food, he thought to himself, they smell rotten. If they were beneath the notice of the queen of dragons, then they were beneath his notice.

He displayed his disdain by pissing on them.

I was lucky... I'd almost decided to pour myself a shot of scotch when I refreshed the page, saw this had updated, and decided to wait.

I would not have been happy if a mouthful of 17-year-old Balvenie DoubleWood had ended up all over my monitor and keyboard.

xeivous said:
I've not been this amused by nazis getting humiliated since I saw a fic that had Taylor bat Hookwolf across the city and through a line of porta potties.

Tell us more....

Haiku said:
Never summon up what you can't put down.

No, no, no. I know that's the quote, slightly paraphrased, but it's a stupid rule. The smart rule is, "Never summon up that which you might need to put down."

Leechblade · Mar 21, 2020

sdwood said:
No, no, no. I know that's the quote, slightly paraphrased, but it's a stupid rule. The smart rule is, "Never summon up that which you might need to put down."

You read Silver by Cyclone didn't you?

sdwood · Mar 21, 2020

Leechblade said:
You read Silver by Cyclone didn't you?

Why yes, yes I did. Although I've always had the feeling I'd seen it somewhere before that, but I've never been able to figure out where, if so.

FaerieKnight79 · Mar 21, 2020

Leechblade said:
You read Silver by Cyclone didn't you?

It just makes sense. If you summon something, and you need to put it down, you clearly made a mistake somewhere.

Leechblade · Mar 21, 2020

FaerieKnight79 said:
It just makes sense. If you summon something, and you need to put it down, you clearly made a mistake somewhere.

You my friend are preaching to a choir.

Upsm0nk3y · Mar 21, 2020

Hey it's Dragnet
"The story you are about to read is true the names and locations have been changed to protect the innocent."

Kryslin · Mar 21, 2020

Firehawk242 said:
Did you reach the point where Kaiser literally gets shat upon from a great height?

FaerieKnight79 said:
Considering that's chapter 4 or 5, probably not.

I needed time to breathe. I had to stop after that incident, and am having to stop after Coil and Anvils. (Begins humming the Anvil Chorus.)

Leechblade said:
Perhaps Kryslin-sama will grace us with them through omake?

My attempts at humorous writing fall well short of the hilarity required. Besides, your imagination can do a better job of coming up with something that you'll find funny than mine will. I tend towards the sly and understated humor, or in this case, the absurd.

Lycanthromancer · Mar 21, 2020

Kryslin said:
I needed time to breathe. I had to stop after that incident, and am having to stop after Coil and Anvils. (Begins humming the Anvil Chorus.)

I was always partial to this anvilicious song.

(Coil would be horrified.)

jmcdavid · Mar 21, 2020

The fact that Piggot outright stated that she found Taylor to be scarier than Nilbog says everything...

And yet, Thomas Calvert couldn't resist the urge to try to see how he could use this new parahuman.

Scaling Up

Verified Pixie

Sanity? What's that?

Verified Pixie

Orientation Nitpicking

(Verified Sarcastic) (Not a Wolf)

[Has Delusions of Authorship]

Verified Pixie

(Verified Sarcastic) (Not a Wolf)

Verified Pixie

Verified Pixie

Orientation Nitpicking

Orientation Nitpicking

Verified Pixie

Orientation Nitpicking

[Has Delusions of Authorship]

The Arcane Fuzz