We're just Stars..that's all we are
It was a typical day in this neighbourhood as you walk through the streets of Los Angeles, thinking about life further. You weren't expecting the CBS to try and attempt an effort towards sabotaging the show you're in, and while for the others it wasn't much of an inconvenience, for you though..it created a small pile of guilt stuck in your stomach. You looked through the on-going walks of life with the day at its slowest for you yet fast for others moving to become night.
You remember when you were just starting out in wanting to become the star of the show, of Hollywood, where the paparazzi all swarm you from all sides in this great adrenaline drive towards success. But it was also from these thoughts that doubt was born and festered upon, where every wrong and unlucky decision and outcome you've made was manifested in their (in your view) unnatural light.
Exposure to this unnaturalness and not expecting to experience the dark side of Hollywood as it is less mentioned in the media (although sometimes father has told me this and that about his days with Clint Eastwood).
This month of restlessness and unease with a focus towards filming and being an actor just for the sake of acting has brought you away from your friends, and inwardly you dearly wished that Carrie stayed for make benefit glorious actor of yourself, but you knew this moment for themselves is important for the Reynolds family to reforge themselves.
Your friends have been busy in their own efforts, with John attempting to get a role somewhere while Robin is in a writing session this month to create a Christmas-themed comedy show in the future. So all that lives is the beating heart of yourself and the minor inconvenience that is CBS with their recent sabotage of the director positions of the show.
And it was with this guilt that only grew slightly after leaving the Lucas family with the offer and agreement in mind..
'It's just us being actors..nothing more nothing much.' The rational part of yourself tells you as another enters your mind at the same time.
'Do you think we're taking advantage of him?' A worried and moralistic sounding whisper said back to the rational.
'We're not, he simply offered.' The rational part speaks back with the taste of apple juice full of answers.
'We're stars, and that's all we are.'
'But..what about the others? Why not let John and Robin get a role in the film?' A thought that you didn't notice before appeared before yourself, the night becoming darker with the full moon.
'Why bother?' The rational spoke with an undertone of dark, you didn't like what that entails.
'They've never asked, why help when they can..ahh discover it on their own? No more leeches onto ourselves..to clean ourselves from them and become the star we always know we can become.' The ego says in cold rational language and reasoning that chilled and angered you to no end.
'They're not leeches!' The id fought back with anger, the superego nodding along.
'They're people! Not numbers to count on like a millionaire looking at his assets of money and land!'
'But..they are temporary, right?' The logical voice responds back with what you can tell is a malicious smile, you looked at a nearby glass to see the reflection looking back at you.
'They will become like other actors we aspire to become! Create scandals, cheats, and petty grudges..like what we will keep doing to stay relevant in the people's minds..if we follow your path, we will remain forgotten, and exploited by the many..'
You didn't like the fact that it was staring right into your eyes, with no rebuttal coming from the moral voice..
You shook your head, realising that you've stopped in a shaking manner, that was when you've noticed fear gripped you like no other, a world of uncertainties and decisioning of the good and bad reaching and blanketing your previous decisions as possible paranoia..you didn't want to go out in this dark comedy of life like a parody of some dictator in 1953.
You walked towards the park in the moment of uncertainty and inner confusion and from what you can tell, a start of a paranoia as the points brought out by the ego has..shaken you.
You jumped back in hurt as you realised you've already arrived at a bench, your face in a flurry of expressions with slight tears dripping down your cheeks, you looked up to see twinkling stars and a new moon shining to you..
"We're just stars..that's all we are..right?" You muttered to yourself with doubt in your voice, with an inner argument bursting you into a Hollywood Hall of the lost, the dead, and the ugly.
N/A: Since we haven't have much of the rational vs moral portion of the mental state yet, decided to make this.
@Kaiser Chris Would you like to make a part two of this?
