Mastering the PRNDL
"So let me get this straight Bruce. You graduated high school at 14, know Chinese and Kung-Fu, became a millionaire at 17, own a fifth of a housing complex, starred in a Chinese film, stared in America's number one show, and are producing two films, but you STILL don't know how to drive?" Clint Eastwood asked in a mix of utter bafflement and jestering, to which Bruce slid further into his seat with a bit of a blush as Clint laughed.
Currently the two actors were parked in the middle of a expansive parking lot for a local high school sports stadium, exams and the winter keeping it clear which allowed Clint to teach the young Irishman the basics in peace before they started going for proper drives in the LA suburbs.
The car they were using was a
Black Ford Falcon that Bruce had purchased the day after he had concluded talks with George over his involvement with American Grafitti. When Bruce read the script, he came to the awkward realization that he would be starring in a movie about cars and American driving culture...without a license. With a lot of the practical scenes that George wanted to film, it meant that Bruce had to get licensed fast or else any scenes he filmed would have been illegal. Making a promise to George to get it ASAP, he went to the Ford dealership first thing next morning and managed to get Clint to supervise his initial practical training, as fortunately Bruce had at least applied for a California Learner's shortly after he moved to LA.
The choice of a Ford Falcon was done without Bruce's usual research and planning, just done on a whim with reassurance by a totally honest and ethical salesman. It had decent milage and performance, could get him anywhere and everywhere he needed to be these days, and most importantly to the teen, it looked so cool! It was a mindset that would probably produce cries of anguish from his older cousins, but it suited Bruce fine for solo driving or groups. He could easily see himself having a good time on the town with John and Robin. Or better yet being the gentleman and personally taking Carrie out on dates instead of relying on public transport or the cheauffer, attending a drive-in movie theater or parking at cliffside and doing some stargazing, and when the moment got just right and romantic....
American Grafitti! That was the main reason you were learning to drive of course.
"Clint I'm a New Yorker, we don't drive, we walk and take the subway across the island. The taxi worked for the past two years and walking and biking is pretty great exercise, especially when you're doing a war show."
"And there were never any scenes of Radar Riley driving Jeeps across the camp?" Clint questioned.
"I did for two small scenes, but that was just scene intros and I just had to move a couple dozen feet. Radar's not a tanker or driver so I'm mostly just present in the office scenes and camp drama."
Clint shook his head, "I swear if I didn't teach you swimming you would've signed up for a pirate movie."
"Actually it wasn't that uncommon for some pirates to not know how to swim and even some sailors at Pearl Harbor drowned because they didn't know." Bruce quipped back.
"Alright, alright, let's just start this. Now what's important to remember is that cars are like horses, and no I'm not saying that because of my films. When handling one, you need to be delicate or really precise. You put too much force in it and try to demand a response, you lose control and something stupid happens. The only time you should be forceful is if some dumbass on the road goes wacko and is about to hit you, and even then, you don't freak out or panic, you take control and find an exit." Clint said.
Bruce nodded at the sage advice. While Clint wasn't exactly the cool and otherworldly presence that Bruce Lee was, his direct hands-on teaching along with a fusion of sensible and frank advice was usually just as effective. Bruce counted himself as very grateful that they wouldn't be doing a repeat of the Swimming lessons and Clint wouldn't have his first drive be on the highway in the vein of a pool throw.
"Now we're just starting out, there's no one around to hit, so it's fine you make mistakes. Just keep cool and remember to ease your foot on the pedal." Clint said.
Bruce nodded and after another cursory check over the instruments and mirrors, he shifted the car into drive and moved forward
Bruce Driving: 46
For about ten minutes Bruce and Clint just drove around the empty expanse of a parking lot. For the most part it was a quiet and decent experience, though Bruce did have a couple of moments where he either drove as slow as molasses or got a bit too excited and cocky and sped up like he was getting onto the highway when they were changing speeds. Fortunately, Bruce was able to correct his mistakes with some guidance from Clint and nothing disasterous happened.
"So what kind of Sci-Fi film are you making with that George guy that you need to get a license? You're not driving spaceships or flying cars?" Clint asked honestly, which caused Bruce to let out a laugh.
"Nah, it's nothing like what THX was. It's a movie called American Grafitti. Basically it's an ensemble story about a group of friends in high school spending their last day of summer vacation together. The movie's split into a bunch of different mini-plots focusing on the main characters, but the main focus is car culture and rock and roll in the 50's and early 60's, George said it's meant to be a critique of nostalgia and a love letter to his teen years."
Clint nodded his head, "Well that sounds like it'll be a real good movie this time."
Bruce looked a bit offended, "You didn't like THX?" He asked in a bit of hurt. While Bruce played nowhere near the role that George and Coppola did, he was still a Producer and looked on the film with some pride, happy that his contribution was able to help complete the project and ensure it's outcome as a masterpiece.
"It's not that I think it's horrible, it was pretty decent at parts. Directing was pretty great, cinematography looked gorgeous, acting was decent all around. The story's just a little high concept and not my cup of coffee, a bit far out there and not something I could see myself acting." Clint admitted. Bruce nodded in respect, happy that Clint wasn't totally out of favor and it was mostly a personal preference, unlike that hack Roger Ebert who wouldn't know a classic if it hit him.
"Science Fiction is a fine genre, just not the kind of stories I want to tell or really relate with. Although let me tell you, everyone who thinks 2001 is a good movie is nuts. I don't care how good looking Kubrick made it, no movie where an astronaut turns into a giant floating space baby and God is an obsidian rectangle is a masterpiece. All those themes and interpretations are just artsy fartsy bullshit." Clint complained, rising a laugh from Bruce. He more than disagreed, but could understand where Clint was coming from as his father had a similar reaction.
"So you don't ever want to star in or make a Sci-Fi?"
"Eh, maybe if it looks fun or there's a really good story there, but I don't know, although I guess it'd be something neat to try. Alright, let's get you into parking now. Wherever you go, you'll probably rarely get a straight in and out park. It's fine to take a little adjustment, and if the first go is so bad there's no shame pulling out entirely. Better to take your time and wait over rushing in and making bumps or scratches." Clint advised. He then exited the car and placed some small orange cones in a couple of spaces to simulate actual parked cars
Bruce Parking: 100
For all of Bruce's stumbles at the beginning, he took to parking life a fish to water. Despite Clint's words, Bruce never once had to correct his position or pull out and come in again, each park no matter the conditions or difficulty, along with Clint even playing a bad pedestrian to try and give Bruce a challenge, was overcome with ease and Bruce moved into the spot with little to no error.
Impressed with the performance, Clint then quickly moved on to reverse driving and even reverse parking, confident that Bruce was performing his usual fast learning.
Bruce Reverse Driving: 44
However, switching into reverse was a harder challenge than Bruce anticipated. Whehter it was due to being too arrogant or being thrown off balance with having to keep full attention on the rear while also being aware of what was in front, Bruce went back to having issues where he would frequently mess up the wheel placement and turned left when he wanted to reverse left instead of doing inverse. Driving straight backwards was fine, but backwards parking presented its own set of troubles when Bruce's once pristine record of parking was broken as he bumped and ran over cones. Although, Clint seemed to be at ease with this and said that reverse parking was a bit of an advanced technique anyways, and once Bruce understood the inverse mechanics, he slowly eased into reverse parking.
"You and Maggie have a good Christmas with the kids?" Bruce asked.
"Yeah, it was all fine and dandy. We just opened up presents, had a nice Ham lunch and then just lounged watching movies and cartoons. The kids loved all of your gifts, although I felt like we could have saved a lot of money with Alison. She just had a ball messing with bubble wrap and tearing up wrapping paper." Clint said, giving Bruce a smile. For Christmas, Bruce had decided to give each Eastwood a gift since he had more than enough money to spare. Clint got a new coffee machine, Maggie a purple buret, Kimber a doll set, Kyle some action figures, and baby Alison a couple of stuffed animals. While the shopping for his many recipients caused Bruce a small amount of stress, it made Bruce happy to be in the spirit of giving.
"You do alright by your lonesome, you know you could have joined us if you wanted to." Clint offered, something that made Bruce happy.
"It was alright, I wasn't completely alone. I went to a party that Robin was hosting for Christmas Eve, then after Mass I had lunch with John and just slept in the rest of the day. Was definitely more company than last year."
"But no Carrie?" Clint inquired, which managed to turn Bruce's smile into a frown for the first time today.
"Yeah...if she were here than everything would have been perfect. We talked for a couple hours at night, but the phone just isn't the same as in-person. It's not like I want her to drop everything and fly back. She's really happy with her mom and brother and I'm glad she's finding herself on Broadway. It's just...we spent a lot of time making up plans on Thanksgiving, and when I kept on hearing from Mom and Dad how much they loved Carrie and were having a great time with her mom and brother, I just wanted more than anything to be right there, to show Carrie the neighborhood and all my friends and cousins, take her on a tour of the city, see her live in Broadway, show her all the O'Brian Christmas traditions." Bruce said in a melancholic tone.
Clint gave a look of sympathy and pat of support, "Yeah long-distance tends to be real shit like that. I'd honestly feel pretty concerned if you didn't feel anything and were perfectly happy with no complaints, people like that who don't feel a thing when the other is gone, usually had nothing to begin with." Clint says.
Bruce blinked at that, "Really? I was starting to feel guilty for feeling like that when I should support her."
"There's nothing wrong with feeling a bit selfish so long as you don't act out and force that on someone else, she's probably having a similar conversation with Debbie. Times are tough, but what counts is you supporting her and trusting her being on the other side of the country. Time apart builds strength and character, and y'all will be better for it when you see each other again. And if nothing I'm sure your folks are giving all of the love in your absence."
At those words Bruce smiled, a small weight that he had been feeling since the relationship began being lifted. He missed Carrie deeply, but there was no reason that their relationship couldn't grow stronger from this time than if they remained together. Besides, it wasn't as if either was going to war or in another country. Carrie was safe and happy, and that's what mattered.
"Now what's this I heard about your mom wanting you and Carrie to get married in two years? I think Debbie said she'd more than approve." Clint asked with a chuckle, very fortunately asked as they were still in the parking lot as Bruce pushed on the breaks and went in a tangent about his mother and Irish traditions.
After Clint spent half an hour drilling Bruce about his mistakes in the parking lot, he deemed Bruce worthy enough to take a casual drive through some of the quieter neighborhoods of LA to make sure he got a bit of a headstart in hands-on road experience as part of his crash course driver's ed.
Bruce Neighborhood Driving 82
Fortunately for the two of them, most of Bruce's issues had seemingly been left behind in the parking lot and cruising down the quiet and somewhat upscale suburbs and periphery he had kept calm and cool behind the wheel, performing all of the right stops and keeping well in-line with the speed limit while respecting the other drivers of the road.
During the drive, Bruce shared his insecurities and worries about the American Grafitti deal, how he was unsure of how to treat his first major production job and if he was taking advantage of George or not. He hoped that Clint who had spent the decade making his own films instead of simply starring on them could share some light.
"Just to be clear, you're just the Producer and you're gonna act in this film right? You're not directing or doing any other roles behind the camera?" Clint asked, with Bruce nodding his head, "Well first off kid, the fact that you're placing so much thought into this shows that you care and aren't the bad guy. I know you've had a rather shit experience with Producers, but not everyone in this town who is one is a devil and you got enough good to outweigh the horrible like any other job. You might not be the best because of lack of experience, but this film aint gonna be a shitshow because you're going to intentionally sabotage. Secondly, and try to take this the right way, you need to take the kid gloves off and treat this as a business decision rather than some school project you're helping out a friend with."
Bruce looked confused at the message, "What the hell does that mean Clint? That I should act like a suit and just care about the money instead of the art?"
Clint shook his head, "I never said that, but you're worried about taking advantage and whether or not you should get involved, and in doing so you're not treating your friend with respect and the movie as a real production. Movies should be art, but at the end of the day it's also business. You got hundreds, sometimes thousands of people coming together to create a product, the film, and selling it to the general public. You're investing a million of your personal wealth into this, all on your own. Since this film comes from your pocket, you have every right to take whatever action you think is necessary to ensure the film's well-being and success. There's no reason you can't have artistic integrity or be considerate of those you're working with, but by footing the bill you're just as much responsible as George is and share equal responsibility.
The man approached you of his own free will, and made you a business offer. Whatever comes out of this production, it's something that's gonna reflect on both of your careers for years to come. He's giving it all to see a success, and by approaching you to finance, he understood that with it came certain rights to you in influencing the creation, that's what a good producer should do. If you want to respect the man's vision and make sure that he gets his dream movie, then that's all fine and good. But by just writing a check and doing nothin', thinking that he hasn't already thought of what it means for you to be the Producer and the work you might want to do, you're just insulting his intelligence and conduct of business. From here on you're partners, and partners share the burden and responsibility." Clint said.
The words left a deep impact on Bruce and caused him to be silent for a couple minutes as he contemplated them. He did want George to succeed and make the best film possible, but perhaps that didn't mean he could be an active producer and give his own influence on the film. Bruce already had a few minor edits in mind when reading the script, and George seemed receptive to critiques and new ideas. Maybe some sort of balancing act could be done?
To finish the lesson, Bruce and Clint went back to Bruce's apartment where Clint would teach parallel parking with some trash cans out on the curb next to the complex.
Bruce Parallel Parking 68
While getting in was a bit akward and slow, thankfully there wasn't any big mistakes on Bruce's part and he was able to parallel park a few times without major error. Bruce then parked in a shady spot in the parking lot, ending the lesson.
"Thanks again for coming Clint, sorry to have bothered you on break." Bruce said.
Clint waved the concern off, "It's nothing, your Dad would have had my hide if you went out on the streets without any instruction, no matter how smart you are. You might be able to get a passing grade if you go now, but just wait a month and get used to the experience. And don't go onto the highway or downtown without my training you first."
Bruce nodded, "I wasn't planning on doing it for a couple weeks. For now I was just thinking of driving around with my friend John in the suburbs or along the beaches. Would you mind teaching me how to go on the highway weekend or two after New Years."
Clint nodded, "I'll try to keep an open schedule. One last thing for your film, just be yourself and respect the movie and everyone making it. You don't have to be guilty about paying, just remember it's a team effort."
"I gotcha. Well, no matter what I don't think I could do a worse job than CBS."
"Bruce if you do a worse job than those idiots at MASH I'll supply the angry mob with pitchforks and torches to run you out of this town." Clint joked, with both laughing.
"Thanks Clint."
