Brockton's Celestial Forge (Worm/Jumpchain)

Honestly, after re-reading, I wouldn't be surprised if this "Confirms" that he's a Case 53 that undid the changes to himself. It'd be rather easy to think that All the 'strings' and other things are the bits that are keeping him "human" and breaking down due to March's attack. These interludes are the best though, I'm going to have to reread the story now so that they sink in properly.
 
332 USERS WHAT THE FUCK!?!

also Lord be like; sorry everyone work is making righting hard.

proceeds to drop a 15 thousand word chapter. good god what are you on Lord and can I have some.
 
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light rained out of the sky, piercing the missile and sending up a plum of vaporized asphalt from the road

Plume

Anyone know what those crystal birds were?" She asked the assembled police, where they were securing the two non-webbed Abb members and trying to figure out how to manage the tangled mess of unconscious suspects/hostages they had been left with.

There was a third typo I noticed earlier but can't find it again. I'll look in the morning after some sleep. Much needed sleep.


Thanks for the wonderful interlude, vicki's perspective is very interesting.
 
The question everyone reading this story should be wondering, is with an interlude this long, almost 30k words SO FAR, how many new perks is Apeiron gonna be hit with as soon as he wakes up? He gets a new shot at a perk every 1k words of story so...
 
I actually like seeing this fight better from this perspective. I would recommend against doing too much 'writing the same thing from a different person's perspective' (some people do that too much) but these Vicky chapters have been awesome, this one especially. I hope that when we get back to Joe that he will have tons of points saved up and maybe we will see one of the 800 point perks.
 
The question everyone reading this story should be wondering, is with an interlude this long, almost 30k words SO FAR, how many new perks is Apeiron gonna be hit with as soon as he wakes up? He gets a new shot at a perk every 1k words of story so...
He does not accumulate perks during these types of interludes. When the story isn't progressing, such as during a different perspective on something that already happened, Joe does not recieve perks.
 
and sending up a plum of vaporized
Plume
Diving out of the later afternoon light, their
late
He breather while maintaining the swinging motion that
breathed
heading to a container year north of the
yard
probably too generous a work. The young capes
word
 
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I continue to really love the interludes in this story, and I'm glad we're seeing more of the Wards. Seeing them adapt to the new circumstances in BB is great, both power wise with the Vista-Clockblocker combo/Kid Win's new gear, and personally as their teamwork improves.
 
It's all so deliciously cinematic.

I know that it's literally a power with Apeiron, but goddamn - even when he's getting the shit kicked out of him, even when it looks like he's about to be executed, he pulls every collective anime moment of 'beaten hero gets a second wind' and wipes the deck.

Y'all remember watching Bleach? Main character, Ichigo Kurosaki, at the moment of near-death and almost-certain defeat, ass-pulls another power and saves the freakin' day.

It's ironic - I always hated the writers of Bleach for doing that, because there's only so many hidden revelations about hidden depths of power one can cram into a script, but with Apeiron I love it so much. I don't know why, but I do. =D
 
It's ironic - I always hated the writers of Bleach for doing that, because there's only so many hidden revelations about hidden depths of power one can cram into a script, but with Apeiron I love it so much. I don't know why, but I do. =D
I mean to be fair, not only does this story set up Apeiron's tool kit and explain to us what his equipment is, it's also literally part of this story's premise that Apeiron can grow and get powers after a certain word count. Bleach is just bad writing, this? It's literally a fundamental part of the story's premise that's stated from the very start. So huge difference there.
 
It's all so deliciously cinematic.

I know that it's literally a power with Apeiron, but goddamn - even when he's getting the shit kicked out of him, even when it looks like he's about to be executed, he pulls every collective anime moment of 'beaten hero gets a second wind' and wipes the deck.

Y'all remember watching Bleach? Main character, Ichigo Kurosaki, at the moment of near-death and almost-certain defeat, ass-pulls another power and saves the freakin' day.

It's ironic - I always hated the writers of Bleach for doing that, because there's only so many hidden revelations about hidden depths of power one can cram into a script, but with Apeiron I love it so much. I don't know why, but I do. =D
I mean Joe has pure, refined studio trigger levels of shonen injected into his soul thanks to his kill la kill perks, so it makes sense that he is now an anime protagonist.
 
The interludes and addendums are my favourite part of this.

Actually my favourite content in the whole worm fanfic community at the moment.
 
My prediction of a cliffhanger was correct it was traumatic but it gives me more excitement for the end of the 3 part interlude. Can't wait for next week. :)
 
Excellent Vicky-View again. Half expected her to second-trigger from all this frustration about being not being useful.

A few corrections and suggestions for the chapter below.
He smiled at her just as the blasts reached the ABB positions and suddenly it was there their side of the street that was awash in explosions.
The power she brought to bear, a power it had almost been possible to ignore thanks to the distance she had kept from the fighting, the diminished impact of watching the conflict through news reports and internet broadcasts, and, or of course, Apeiron.
He was lucky in that he didn't seem to have to worry about the kind of rechange recharge she lived with, meaning the effect was closer to her Uncle Neil's powers.
Don't even need to aim to be dangerous, just keep people's heads down while they line up the next grenade of or rocket.
"We've got a rush planned, it should let us clear the ground floor, but the upper level could be a problem. Can you manage that?"
Concrete crumbled under her blow leaving the armature amateur sniper without a stable perch.
It sounded like the girl desperately wanted to find some flay flaw with Apeiron's actions, but couldn't place one at the moment, so was settling for a regular sour mood.
Browbeat's been recognized as a trauma responder, only class two, but they've had him doing remedial training since Saturday night.
"Um, how are things going? Did your uncle know anything about it?"
Actually, I had to sneak out for that. <- Alternatively, remove the comma.
The force of the… whatever it was actually began to life lift the man's broken body off the ground.
Blind, bloody, unarmed, injured, and thirty feet from Lung, and Apeiron came across as the most dangerous thing in the city, if not the planet.

I'm not actually sure these are wrong, but it may make it sound/flow better.
"Good thing.," She replied. <- comma instead of a period, make it one sentence.
The subject doesn't really match here. It implies your seeing the cities change, from your friends POV? Perhaps reword it to something else.
Ex: It was one thing to see the city change, it was another to see your friends change.
Ex: It was one thing to see the city change, it was another to see it in your friends.
It was one thing to see the city change, it was another to see it from your friends.
"Jesus.," Muttered Browbeat. <- comma instead of a period, make it one sentence.
 
Her instinct was to run in and help. Well, honestly her instinct was to rush in and take down the tinker herself, with a small, petty corner of her mind still wanting to entertain those fantasies about capturing Apeiron and turning him over to the Protectorate, making him answer for his imagined crimes and offences against her family. Logically she knew how insane and impossible that was, but she couldn't stop her mind from jumping there just for a fraction of a second.
Fragile One: "Ganbatte, Vicky! I believe in you! You can do the thing!"
 
Oh God I just realised that am treating this story like anime with weekly episodes with the cliffhanger ending and it makes me feel like a young teenage at Home waiting for the next chapter.
 
This fic is so anime... I freakin' love it. I'm hyped for next week.

Also,
Apeiron continued to writhe artfully on the screen.
I find that line hilarious even with context.
Apeiron shifted his body and Victoria decided she was done. She would take this one thing at a time. Apeiron was supposed to be boundless, or infinite or whatever, and that was fine. She watched the man stretch a clawed hand into the air and decided then, nothing he could do would surprise her any more.
*cough*Bullshit*cough*
 
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Damn, that was intense. Loved how a lot of things were going on in the background in regards to the rest of the conflict.

The extent of how injured he actually was is a lot clearer when you aren't sassing it from first person PoV. I can see why Lord said the addendum would have wrapped the chapter up much better.

Can't wait to see more.
 
He does not accumulate perks during these types of interludes. When the story isn't progressing, such as during a different perspective on something that already happened, Joe does not recieve perks.
I believe he got perks from earlier interludes. Like interlude ends, his pov pops up and he suddenly has a bunch of "reach/energy" to grab new perk stars.

I think I phrased my comment wrong.
I meant he is gonna have minimum 30k words worth of reach to get new perks.
So he might be able to finally grab some of those super big point heavy perks.
 
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