The Fourth Monado
S U B A R A S H I I
- Location
- Away
Hikari! RUN!
Give me twenty four hours.
Advice and Trust [NGE]
...I wonder where this story is going.
I don't mean this in a bad way, @Strypgia (well, okay, but no malice) but so far I have a feeling that the pacing has been rather... sluggish, in the sense that there's no sense of looming threat. As in, we know there are the Angels and SEELE's and Gendo's machinations, but they just feel just too far away and not at all immediate. It doesn't feel like the characters genuinely threatened by anything. Perhaps it's that we've spent too much time on a few days or something and the pace is a bit glacial, but it does feel to me that way.
Sorry for being a party-pooper, Stryp, but I do prefer to be honest about these things that bother me in writing. :/
I don't mean this in a bad way, @Strypgia (well, okay, but no malice) but so far I have a feeling that the pacing has been rather... sluggish, in the sense that there's no sense of looming threat. As in, we know there are the Angels and SEELE's and Gendo's machinations, but they just feel just too far away and not at all immediate. It doesn't feel like the characters genuinely threatened by anything. Perhaps it's that we've spent too much time on a few days or something and the pace is a bit glacial, but it does feel to me that way.
Sorry for being a party-pooper, Stryp, but I do prefer to be honest about these things that bother me in writing. :/
The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
I'm gonna be honest; the current situation
s 'false sense of security' to me.
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The Fourth Monado
S U B A R A S H I I
- Location
- Away
I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Itsune
Eldritch horror, Ship's Cat, Emergency Gunner.
- Location
- Somewhere in King County Washington
wtdtd
slow thinker, with crippling abundance of time
- Location
- The Netherlands
Image is borked....is what i wanted to say but here in the reply editor it shows up fine.I'm gonna be honest; the current situation
Strange.
Tempted to write this in to canon, but while it would be hilarious, Ritsuko is too paranoid about the details on this procedure to let it slip. Fun to imagine, though.
As an alternative with similar end results, considering her state (hung over, possibly still under the influence of medication and dead tired) it may have skipped her mind that LCL is very good at dissolving certain synthetic fabrics and that that swimsuit isn't her 'worksafe' one?
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
It's not an unfair question, so don't feel bad. Chapter 8 really escaped the plan I had for it. So the planned pacing went out the window as well. And yes, the last entire chapter, all 50k words of it, ended up covering just 2-3 weeks where nothing happened in canon but failed attempts to get Shinji out of Unit-01's Core.
At least I'm going faster than Cast In Gold? (Sorry, Shyft.
) Well, Kaworu has arrived, and he's naturally going to kick things into motion. Arael is due to arrive soon too. There's only one or two 'slice of life' events I've got in mind to go, and I may kick one to after Arael to speed things along. The one that I can't move: Asuka's birthday on 04DEC15.
- Location
- Out and About
Thankfully, it looks like it'll go much better than the one she had in canon. In the series, she spent her birthday all alone.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
It's kind of hard for it to go worse than canon, considering she was in the middle of a total collapse at that point...
But yes, I think this time will be a bit better. More like this:
Rei's holding the camera, obviously.
M. H. Fuzzball
Aperture Science-certified Horrible Person
- Location
- Sector 2814
She, of course, will be expecting birthday hugs and kisses (probably only hugs from anyone not named Shinji), and may Heaven have mercy on Misato if she hasn't decided to let Asuka and Shinji resume sleeping together by that point, because Asuka won't.
Maybe that'll be Misato's birthday present to Asuka: Permission to resume nocturnal activities with Shinji.
Asuka: "Best. Present. Ever!"
- Location
- Illinois
It's not an unfair question, so don't feel bad. Chapter 8 really escaped the plan I had for it. So the planned pacing went out the window as well. And yes, the last entire chapter, all 50k words of it, ended up covering just 2-3 weeks where nothing happened in canon but failed attempts to get Shinji out of Unit-01's Core.
At least I'm going faster than Cast In Gold? (Sorry, Shyft.
Well, Kaworu has arrived, and he's naturally going to kick things into motion. Arael is due to arrive soon too. There's only one or two 'slice of life' events I've got in mind to go, and I may kick one to after Arael to speed things along. The one that I can't move: Asuka's birthday on 04DEC15.
Hey, hey, cast in gold is paced pretty decently -- it just moves horizontally instead of forwards 90% of the time
Ranma-sensei
Sorcerer
- Location
- Citrix Receiver
- Pronouns
- Weatherdependent
"I. See. You!"
You know, I never even realized that...
And for some indiscernible reason, it doesn't bother me - sorry, Gryphon, MisterHalt.
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- Location
- Spain
Ouch, I feel a weird pain on my shoulderblade.
...
Huh, would you look at that. I don't suppose humans are meant to have knives sticking out of their backs now, do they?
- Location
- Gladstone, OR
At least I'm going faster than Cast In Gold? (Sorry, Shyft.
Hey, hey, cast in gold is paced pretty decently -- it just moves horizontally instead of forwards 90% of the time
Lulz. Just you wait, I'll show you all.
DeviantD
A topologically complex tube
- Location
- OZ
Yeah, been slowly working my way through this once I became aware of its existence.
Quite good so far. So much feels and lols.
In particular, I like the idea for the 'divergence point' and associated reasoning behind it.
Also dead-pan snark Rei is best Rei.
The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats
Darth Nihilus vs Sauron! That would be a hell of a fight...
Generally speaking; if you can see Darth Nihilus then you're probably already fucked.
Welcome to the thread!
- Location
- Illinois
You've got nothing to prove, good sir. You've written a Moste Entertaining piece.
MutantRancor
[Suspected Sithspawn]
- Location
- Kashyyyk. I'm a Wookiee, can't you tell?
You're missing the "They called me mad!" and the evil laugh, there.
grommile
nasty-minded old cynic
- Location
- NERV-Mercia
- Pronouns
- Traditional/Animate
I forget, is he the one you have to talk to death? Because Sauron is really good at social combat.
The Englanderish
Schrödinger's Kuudere Kitty Caliph(a)
- Location
- Califat de Chats