- Location
- Canada
Gendo: No. I've tried. Or does wife count as different from girlfriend?
-
Going forward, links to content from Twitter (now X) will no longer be embedded. Pre-existing links should not be affected.
Advice and Trust [NGE]
- Location
- Up A Creek
1. "Zip then button? Or button then zip?"
2. "What are your three sizes?"
3. "Your place or mine?"
4. "Why is all the rum gone?"
5. "42?"
6. "Will you be my Valentine?"
7. "You busy this Saturday?"
8. "...but schwarma after, right?"
9. "What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?"
10. CENSORED
Ranma-sensei
Sorcerer
- Location
- Citrix Receiver
- Pronouns
- Weatherdependent
"Ska or Dubstep?"
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Huh... someone actually guessed it.
- Location
- RWBY Wiki
The one?
I have narrowed it down to these questions. Not even the royalty can escape the RWBY wiki's predictions.
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- Location
- Voidbetweenstars
"Can you use an Evangelion to make out with your girlfriend?"
This is the sort of thing I can see Shinji and Asuka would ask.
The one?
Once again Shinji and Asuka.
"Does Kaworu dream of electric fish?"
6. "Will you be my Valentine?"
7. "You busy this Saturday?"
I think it will be one of these 2 however the first one doesn't fit with the whole angel attack going on.
I think it's the Valentine one.
- Location
- RWBY Wiki
I'll say #3 is more likely than one would think, but I understand crossing it out. #7 is also very possible, and for the same reason as #3 actually. The reason being a sort of "glad to be alive and together" celebration.
I personally think (read: hoping with stoic squee) the question is: "Do you love me?"
I personally think (read: hoping with stoic squee) the question is: "Do you love me?"
- Location
- Canada
Isn't January a bit early for that?"Can you use an Evangelion to make out with your girlfriend?"
This is the sort of thing I can see Shinji and Asuka would ask.
The one?
Once again Shinji and Asuka.
"Does Kaworu dream of electric fish?"
3. "Your place or mine?"
6. "Will you be my Valentine?"
7. "You busy this Saturday?"
I think it will be one of these 2 however the first one doesn't fit with the whole angel attack going on.
I think it's the Valentine one.
- Location
- Voidbetweenstars
never to early
- Location
- RWBY Wiki
As soon as Thanksgiving Dinner is done, it's officially Christmas season.never to early
Matt R
Giant Robot Pilot
- Location
- North Dakota
Actually, I was thinking of this bit that seems to have been neither threadmarked on its own nor incorporated into the following main post.
Plus a handful of omakes that never got threadmarked. The Englanderisch's follow-ons to Hope and Comfort, ND!Rei meets Alucard, and that bit where Rei and Asuka do their own take on The Cask of Amontillado...
octobersanctuary
Self-appointed Master of Ceremonies
- Location
- New Zealand
Seihai-kun
[Unverified Wish Granting Device]
- Location
- Brasil
I'm still betting on the ice cream. One of the pilots changes topics to ice cream before people like Kaworu start making those death-flag questions. Probably Asuka wants to take evyone out for ice cream after they kill the Angel or something.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Huh. Thank you. I'd forgotten I hadn't integrated that lost snip into the later update like I meant to. That has been fixed. The lost part is now in the middle of 10.10. I said this at the time as to why it wasn't numbered:
I just forgot to patch it in.
As to the rest... well, to be honest, not all omakes make the cut, really. If it doesn't hit enough Funnies or such, I sometimes left it alone. Others don't feel up to par for me, and at least one, covering KSK, I didn't threadmark because I knew I was going to obsolete it with my own version later.
No writing today, since I just got flipped back to night shifts, and have been up for 24 hours right now trying to reset my sleep schedule. I should hopefully have writing time this week, and I've mostly worked out Rei and Kaworu's conversation. There may be howling about death flags. This is normal.
Comedy Omake #62 - MattR's Inheritance VII -- Final Chapter: Fall of the House of Ayanami
Matt R
Giant Robot Pilot
- Location
- North Dakota
Yeah; I came across it a while back (I had been re-reading the story in Reader Mode while traveling, and thought 'wasn't there another scene somewhere around here?'), then got distracted and forgot to bring it up.
Fair enough on threadmarking of Omakes. And speaking of omakes, since it sounds like it will be a few more days before the next story update, to tide everyone over, here's the conclusion of Inheritance. Final Chapter: Fall of the House of Ayanami.
Inheritance -- Final Chapter: Fall of the House of Ayanami
"Is it over?" Hikari asked.Rei looked around. "I see nothing out of the ordinary. Kaworu?"
"Nothing."
"We did it, then. We won!" Asuka shouted.
Which was when the entire building seemed to shake, accompanied by an ominous snapping sound.
Asuka looked up. "Ohshit."
"What's going on up there?" Touji said over the radio. "Hikari?"
"I think we've worn out our welcome," Asuka replied. "Touji, get out of the building, as fast as you can."
"Don't have to tell me twice!"
In the experiment room, everyone rushed to the door. Just as the last of them ran through, the ceiling caved in, burying the room in rubble. The creaking and groaning of the building grew even louder.
"What's going on? I thought we beat that thing." Hikari asked.
"I should have expected this. Stupid..." Rei muttered. "Everyone, out of the building, now!"
"Rei, what happened?" Asuka asked.
"Later! Less talking, more running!"
Everyone scrambled back through the building's twisting passages. They were back in the main entry hall, within sight of the door, when the roof began to bulge down.
"NO!" Kaworu shouted. He raised his hands, and an orange field sprung into existence just in time to hold back the rubble above them. "Everyone, move!"
Shinji, Asuka, and Hikari sped through the front door, joining Touji outside. Kaworu remained holding up the ceiling as Rei looked back
"Kaworu!" Rei shouted.
"Rei, please stay safe!"
"Don't be stupid, fish! When I say move, then move! You'll know what to do!"
Rei raised her hands, eyes glowing bright red as her clothing whipped around her, and shoved at the air. "Now MOVE!"
The falling debris was slammed from the side, changing its trajectory. Kaworu lunged at the door with his arms spread, enveloping Rei and carrying her through with him, rolling to safety in the front yard.
Behind them, the Ayanami Manor collapsed in on itself with an echoing roar.
The six children stared for a moment, before Asuka spoke up again.
"Now, do you mind telling me what just happened?"
Rei groaned. "I should have seen it coming." She turned to Kaworu. "When we used the Room of Guf as an impromptu ghost trap as an alternative to the mansion's containment field-"
Kaworu interrupted with a grin, "Which surely counts as one of the most pragmatic reasons ever for wanting to give someone else's tonsils a thorough tongue washing--you tapped directly into my S2 for that-"
"-when we did that," Rei continued with a frown, "it created a gravitational anomaly in the room. For a moment, the building weighed far more than it should. It overtaxed the structure and snapped several of the supporting columns..."
"...and with those gone, the load shifted to the surviving supports, overloading them in turn. Of course," Asuka finished.
"Well, so much for your mansion, Rei," Hikari added, sadly.
"Do not be sorry. We did a good thing here. I will not miss it." Rei replied.
"All that, and we came out practically empty-handed," Shinji noted glumly. "We won't be paying off your debt with knick-knacks and keepsakes."
"Not completely empty-handed! Behold!" Asuka proclaimed proudly, pointing towards the stack of loot beside their supply boxes. Next to it sat the strongbox she had found, and a stack of books. "I dragged that thing out of the hidden passage behind the office while we were making preparations. And I think I got all the research books from the people who created that monster; they may not be worth any money, but I'm sure you'll want them for your studies."
Rei smiled. "Thank you, Asuka! Do you know what the box contains?"
Asuka frowned. "I didn't actually find the key in there; we're going to have to get a locksmith before we can get inside..."
The sound of police sirens became faintly audible, growing closer, before several cars appeared. A man in his late fifties emerged from one of them and approached the group.
"Chief Akasaka, Okinomiya Police Department. Could you explain what you're doing on this property, and what just happened here?"
Rei approached the man, presenting her identification and the deed to the mansion. His eyebrows went up at her NERV ID card. "I am Rei Ayanami, owner of this property. As for what just happened... I am not sure you would believe me if I told you. But it is, in fact, over, and there is no further danger. Would you be able to give us a ride back to town? I will need to make arrangements for site cleanup as well. And one other thing, if you can give me a moment..."
Rei dialed her cell phone. "Professor Fuyutsuki? You can stand down. We got it."
__________________
"Hello! Mama?... I'm in Okinomiya, why?... Okinomiya, it's northwest of Hakone, about 6 hours by train... It's a long story... No, of course not!... Because it's summer, Mama! School's been out for days!... July. Mama, it's been July for weeks now!... And this is why we never had pets... Yes, my scores were good. They were also good in college, which is why I'm not exactly worried about them here...Thanks, Mama! I'll fill you in on the whole thing when I get home; it was pretty wild, and some of it was right up your alley. Good night, and remember to listen to your therapist! Love you!" With this, Asuka hung up her cell phone.
"I'll be that's going to be quite a conversation when you get back," Shinji remarked.
"I may actually be able to teach Mama something new about Metaphysical Biology with this story. But, that's for another day. Back to the party!"
After Chief Akasaka had driven the victorious crew back to Okinomiya, and everyone had left their belongings at their hotel, the group proceeded for dinner at Rena's Diner. As it turned out, the Chief was an old friend of Rena's from when he had first moved to the area, and given the lack of any criminal accusations, felt the diner was as good a place as any to take their statement. It had quickly turned into an impromptu victory party once the full story came out.
"I can't believe something that dangerous was waiting inside there all this time," Rena shook her head in astonishment.
"It was not what I had expected to find, either," Rei replied.
"It's crazy enough to hear about globe-spanning ancient conspiracies on the news," Chief Akasaka said. "But to find out that very same conspiracy was active right in your own back yard?" He shook his head.
"I suspect the world will be finding 'leftovers' from SEELE's plots for quite some time. Hopefully without such dire risks associated with them," Rei said. "On another note, I am sorry that the collapse of the building may hinder your re-investigation into the old disappearances."
"Don't worry too much about it. By combining the investigation with the site cleanup that's necessary anyway, we should be able to make it work. I expect those who were... lost... to this thing they created probably had at least some form of identification on them at the time, so we should be able to get a full accounting at last of the original disaster. If we find anything of value left inside the rubble, we'll put it into storage for you. It's the least we can do. Remember, you'll always be welcome here."
"Thank you. I expect to hear from the insurance company on the payout for the building's collapse shortly; I will ensure that the cleanup team receives their proper due from those proceedings."
"You all don't have to head back home too early tomorrow, I hope?" Rena asked.
Kaworu smiled. "Not too early, no. We should be able to take our time."
"That's great! As always, consider dinner on the house, with our thanks!" Rena cheered, placing a slice of cake in front of a still very hungry Rei.
"Oh, and for you," Rena whispered with a smile, as she dropped a wrapped bundle into Hikari's lap, "Like I promised. Have fun!"
"What's that?" Touji asked.
Hikari, beet-red, was stammering too much to answer.
The little celebration lasted well past closing time.
__________________
"That is all?" Rei asked into the phone, incredulously. "The back taxes on the property for the past fifteen years amounted to a king's ransom, and it was not from the land itself. How is the insurance payoff for the building so low?"
"All indications are that the building collapsed under its own weight; that's not a good sign right there," the insurance agent replied. "And a lot of the later construction appears to have been pretty haphazard, judging from the remains. It looked a lot more impressive than it was, at least up high. A fair number of the rooms were left unfinished, even."
"This barely covers the cost of cleaning up the site. What am I supposed to do about the taxes?"
"Look, I'm sorry to hear about your financial situation. And frankly, from looking at this, I think the government has been screwing your family over for decades. We'll write up a formal assessment of our findings, certified by our legal department, that there's no reason the property should have been valued at nearly what it was, and that your tax bill is a load of hooey. Hopefully that'll get the tax man off your back."
Rei sighed. "Thank you; I can see you are doing all you can."
"I'm sorry it's not more. I hope it all works out for you somehow!"
__________________
Back at Rei's apartment, Yui Ikari, Kozo Fuyutsuki, Ritsuko Akagi, and Maya Ibuki joined Misato, Kaji, and the kids to witness the opening of the lockbox. The locksmith finally finished drilling out the catch.
"It's all yours, kids. Hope it's everything you were hoping for!"
"I wonder what's inside? Cash? Jewels?" Asuka asked, eagerly.
Rei opened the lid, and looked at the contents. She withdrew a stack of bound documents.
"Certificate of Stock, Fujinagata Shipyards."
Yui spoke up. "I was wondering if you would find those. When the original owner passed away, they were never able to account for his ownership in Fujinagata Shipyards. Those certificates were never converted electronically, so they should still be valid. You're holding a decent stake in the company right there in your hand; it should be more than enough to pay off the debt."
Rei frowned. "I do not recognize the company name."
"That's probably because they changed their name a few times since then, not to mention a few mergers and acquisitions. Last I recall, they're part of Japan Heavy Chemical Industries now. They're a pretty big deal!"
Misato and Ritsuko groaned in unison, the latter resting her face in her palm.
Yui looked around, confused. "What's wrong?"
Shinji spoke up, "Nobody told you about Jet Alone, did they?"
"Jet what?"
Ritsuko chimed in, her face still hidden in her hand. "Let's just say they made a bad investment about a year ago... they're almost bankrupt at the moment. I'm not sure exactly what their stock price looks like right now, but I'm fairly sure this is a bad time to sell."
Yui looked crestfallen. "Oh, dear..."
Disbelief warred with resignation on Rei's face. "So I own a substantial stake in a presently all-but-worthless company. If I find myself needing to fabricate large machine parts for some reason, or perhaps purchase a nuclear reactor, I will keep this in mind."
"Hey, at least you still have the land. Any plans on what to do with it?" Asuka asked.
"I may keep it. Should I strike it rich some day, perhaps I will build a vacation home on it. A normal vacation home. With a floor plan comprehensible by mortal men and a distinct lack of disembodied souls."
__________________
Rei answered her phone. "Hello?"
"Rei?"
"Mister Kaji."
"I finished looking into the situation. Apparently nobody at the government had actually made the connection between you, the back taxes, and those NERV shares."
Rei stared at her phone. Her left eye began to twitch. "You are joking."
"Nope. Apparently Mr. Katagawa just happened to see you on TV at the end of the war, what with your whole engagement to Kaworu as part of the peace settlement, the flap about Gendo's embezzlement, and the appeal to privatize NERV. He made the connection between your appearance, your name, and that property all on his own, and moved to resolve the situation. I don't think any human at the tax agency even realized the property had changed hands; it was all automated."
Rei carefully sat her phone down on the desk, with the audio pickup facing down, and took a deep breath.
Asuka would have complimented Rei on her command of German obscenity, had she been in earshot. Which, given the volume, was quite a distance.
"Is there anything else?" Rei continued, after taking a calming breath and picking the phone back up.
"I've got even better news. The Professor tells me that the tax agency is receptive to the argument that the low insurance payoff means the building was never worth as much as they claimed. Not to mention that they're rather embarrassed that a building they nominally held stewardship of for over ten years just up and collapsed under its own weight, almost right on top of the owner! It's no secret that they never really inspected the property during that time, after all. They're willing to drop the tax claim entirely, and waive the property taxes for as long as it remains undeveloped, in exchange for 'the Ayanami family'-"
"That being, at this point, me," Rei interjected.
"- agreeing not to pursue a lawsuit to recover several decades of overpaid taxes. I think the prospect of otherwise getting publicly sued by a national hero over something she never asked for, with independent legal authorities casting doubt on the validity of the case on their end, is the final nail in that coffin. They'd look like Gendo all over again, trying to cheat you out of your just compensation."
"...I find the offer acceptable."
"Great! I'll tell Kozo. Catch you later!"
Rei hung up the phone and sat down, resting her face in her hand and looking over at Kaworu. "I need a vacation from my vacation."
"Hug?" Kaworu asked.
"Hug."
Kaworu wrapped his arms around Rei from behind, and rested his chin on her shoulder.
"Mmm..."
"What is on your mind, Rei-chan?"
"I think I will be keeping the Ayanami family name," Rei said. "Izumi Ayanami may not have truly been my mother... but from what we learned of her, I think I would have been proud to have been her daughter."
"I think she would have been proud of the young woman you have become, as well," Kaworu replied.
"I think I have an addition to our summer plans..." Rei continued somberly.
"Oh?"
"There is a memorial stone somewhere that likely needs flowers."
A lengthy silence followed this.
"Even with all that happened, I cannot say I regret any of it. We made fun memories and new friends," Kaworu finally mused.
"That is true... "
"You are now a minor part-owner of a heavy industrial conglomerate; that cannot be a bad thing, even if it bears no immediate financial fruit," Kaworu added jovially.
Rei chuckled as she closed her eyes and facepalmed again.
"Also, we saved the world. Again. That is always a positive development, is it not?"
Rei's chuckle became a full-on laugh as she placed her hands over Kaworu's.
"And we still have the rest of the summer to go, with plenty of time for everything we had planned, and no more apocalyptic entanglements," Kaworu finished with a smile.
"None that we know of, at least," Rei teased. "Let's stay like this for a little while, and then go tell our friends the news while we figure out just what we want to do next."
It was the beginning of summer vacation in 2016, the weather was beautiful, and Rei Ayanami was smiling.
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- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
I think there's a word or two missing here.
Well that was fun, Rei. Wasn't it? See, you should have listened to Kaworu about the dog and the van!
Matt R
Giant Robot Pilot
- Location
- North Dakota
Thanks. Fixed!
- Location
- Surrey
Other SEELE bad ideas'leftovers' include:
A time machine that takes you as far back as the age of the person you fed to it.
kidnapping old men from retirement homes to perform experimental cybernetic implants on them.
whole bases full of brainwashed Children clones in case the Dummy System didn't work out.
two different shadow wars over the spelling of the chairman's name.
A time machine that takes you as far back as the age of the person you fed to it.
kidnapping old men from retirement homes to perform experimental cybernetic implants on them.
whole bases full of brainwashed Children clones in case the Dummy System didn't work out.
two different shadow wars over the spelling of the chairman's name.
- Location
- Canada
Which spellings? Keel, Kiel, or Kheil?
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Also, Lorenz versus Laurence versus Lawrence. 
Evil M. Lurker
What Lurks at Midnight
- Location
- The City, USA
Or Keele?
- Location
- Australia, mate
I think you mean Kihl.
octobersanctuary
Self-appointed Master of Ceremonies
- Location
- New Zealand
Now that's a name to die for
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Ranma-sensei
Sorcerer
- Location
- Citrix Receiver
- Pronouns
- Weatherdependent
Since it's a supposedly German name, personally, I'll go with 'Kiel'. (keel of a ship, anyone?)