Oh! I love me some Touhou. And now I have a deliciously evil idea.
Karak-Eight-Peaks Land of Dreams (and Nightmares)
Kragg the Grim woke up much like how many expected he would. Eyes opening in the same movement as he sits up. But he grimaced more than a normal amount this day. There was something that made the air a bit fuzzy. Like it was thick and full of static.
His visage darkened, what had that manling wizard gotten up to now?
With a grunt he threw aside his sheets and stood up.
He stopped.
He did not want to look down. He did not need to look down. But he did.
His teeth grinded together as he looked down at the frivolous red and white garment he was ordained in and his grumbling doubled in volume as he stomped out of his workshop.
Only to stop as he glared at his hammer and the strips of paper that now hung from under it's head.
With a breath and a scowl Kragg grabs his hammer and throws open his doors.
To be met with a stout dwarf lass, barely 30 by the looks, wearing, of all things, what looked like a pair of cat ears on her head. She flinches and he waits but does not apologize.
After she recollects herself, she hands him a letter then turns tail and runs. Literally. Somehow a pair of cat tails are poking out of her waistband. He grumbles and opens the letter, swearing if it's another love letter or confession, anonymous or otherwise, he's just going to put off the whole day. And if it's another poem...
It reads
'Dear Kragg,
Please come back.
Sincerely,
Thorgrim Grudgebearer, High King'
It's close, but he merely rips it up instead of going back inside and using as fuel.
The Citadel is quiet, which is strange because it shouldn't be. Wasn't there an Ork attack going on? Shouldn't he have run into someone by now? Dwarf, human, halfling, he'd have settled for some Orcs, disastrous it would be for them to have made their way into the Citadel, but no, not even the age old enemy wasn't around. Which, he supposed was a good thing.
As he marched out the front gate of the Citadel he revised his thoughts, why couldn't it have been an Ork Waagh waiting for him, because this was so much worse.
There were dozens of Golems, normally a sight fit for his greatest dreams, but not ones in the shape of the Wizard. All of them. Nearly six dozen golems, shaped to look like
her, all of them having massive beards and wide-brimmed hats carved onto them. And as one they turned towards him, smiled, waved and shouted out, "Good morning Uncle!" before rolling off to do gods know what.
He doesn't let it show on his face, but for the first time in centuries Kragg the Grimm is legitimately scared.
"Hiya Uncle!"
Kragg turns to see the Wizard fly up to him, sitting on her sword side-saddle head high in the air, her hat just that much wider and pointy.
"Wizard, what is this?" He does not shout, he does not threaten, but he is plainly heard in both respects.
"Right, so, I don't know, da ze. They just sort of showed up out of nowhere, maybe Bok," "Bok?" "made them, but I certainly didn't. And we're not chickens, stop saying that. Now if you excuse me I'm off to Gods know where to do Gods know what, but I'll probably come back with some Dragon eggs, or the Axe of Grungi, or something else impossible and infuriating, have fun solving this Incident without me, da ze!"
And with that the Wizard took off, riding Moonlit Wit like some possessed ballista bolt.
"... This is a dream. Well, more of a nightmare really."
And with that, Kragg the Grimm woke up.
AN: Fun fact, You can probably tell when i stopped trying to write this on my phone in-between turns of Total Warhammer 2, and switched to my laptop.
It was also a deliberate choice to not use any Dawi language and to just use rough English translations, and it wasn't solely because I'm tired and didn't want to spend more time than needed to write this. It's to help hint that it was all a dream, after all, people tend to dream in their native language, or at least the ones they use the most.
Also, originally I was going to do something where Mathilde was 'Reimu' but then realized she's definitely more of a Marisa, and doing that let me put Kragg the Grimm in a Shrine Miko's robes, and the rest is history.