prince84
In central Dogma flirting with Lilith.
- Location
- The Madness Place
Fixed that for you. He uses Ostka for his holy water.
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Warhammer Fantasy: A Dynasty of Dynamic Alcoholism
- Thread starter torroar
- Start date
- Mature
-
- Tags
- warhammer warhammer fantasy fantasy intrigue happens male protagonist ck2 quest belief stronk count of cannons drunken wisdom foes in the shadows graf of guns (guns) if you have a question check the front page first it begins... mountain vietnam ogres paranoia rising unseen enemies everywhere use the search function before asking waifu wars wake the bull
- Location
- The Usual Room
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Great, I keep getting flashbacks to Five Nights at Freddy's with all these mentions about our Freddy...
[CANON] Another Year - Sage_Of_Eyes
Sage_Of_Eyes
Waiting
Another Year (Omake for To The Hilt)
Ten years, still unmarried and still dodging traveling through Ostland gathering new recruits.
Farek could not deny, that he felt a semblance of pride in his work. It had been massive venture, that was for sure. First was refilling the army after the devastating war in Nordland, and following that was the creation of an entirely new army.
Immense sums of money had left his hands, thousands of fulfilled promises left his lips, and hundreds of consolation letters written. Farek has overseen more than a hundred recruitment drives…
Yet never before, had he been given such a stringent set of qualifications for the troops he needed to gather.
The most skilled marksmen, fit to wear armor, and with good enough stamina to march.
The latter of the two were common enough, but the first was not common in the slightest. The idea confused Farek for a moment, before he read the reasoning behind his assignment.
A veritable army of Handgunners were to be amassed, ten thousand in number. The same number as there is in the Ostland Army and the Forest Army, but composed entirely of men wielding steel and shot.
It was a nightmare, Farek's worst assignment to date.
Not only must Farek oversee the physical evaluations of thousands upon thousands of drunken men, he must also oversee them proving their ability to shoot, at the very least, a simple crossbow to the direction of the Imperial Foot that came along with him.
A simple enough test that was fair and allowed many to be sorted into other places into the army.
But that was not the case this time, only those who could pass the test would be accepted into the new armies. The mere thought of which made Farek need to grab hold of his desk, as he suddenly felt dizzy.
It was bad enough patriotic fervor ran wildly in all of Ostland, but to tell Ostlanders that they cannot join the largest group of Handgunners to ever be trained in Ostland? That those that will be given premier guns of the Academy that Magnus blessed himself, would not accept them? Ostlanders that loved guns nearly as much as they loved drinking? To tell those men they will not join?
Hundreds upon hundreds of men, drunken beyond belief and more than ready to cause a ruckus would streak from their homes and give chase to his caravan.
Farek momentarily pondered speaking to the Imperial Foot that he worked alongside with, perhaps to lighten the standards of the massive recruitment drive. Thus, he would meet his quota faster… perhaps return early and find a woman to start a family with.
However, the thought that inadequate troops will be trained stopped that trail of thought readily.
Farek ran a hand through his early-graying hair and sighed as he consigned himself to spending a whole other year gathering the best he can for Ostland's armies.
A single man's wishes, after all, weighed little in the face of the fate of the entire empire itself.
Ten years, still unmarried and still dodging traveling through Ostland gathering new recruits.
Farek could not deny, that he felt a semblance of pride in his work. It had been massive venture, that was for sure. First was refilling the army after the devastating war in Nordland, and following that was the creation of an entirely new army.
Immense sums of money had left his hands, thousands of fulfilled promises left his lips, and hundreds of consolation letters written. Farek has overseen more than a hundred recruitment drives…
Yet never before, had he been given such a stringent set of qualifications for the troops he needed to gather.
The most skilled marksmen, fit to wear armor, and with good enough stamina to march.
The latter of the two were common enough, but the first was not common in the slightest. The idea confused Farek for a moment, before he read the reasoning behind his assignment.
A veritable army of Handgunners were to be amassed, ten thousand in number. The same number as there is in the Ostland Army and the Forest Army, but composed entirely of men wielding steel and shot.
It was a nightmare, Farek's worst assignment to date.
Not only must Farek oversee the physical evaluations of thousands upon thousands of drunken men, he must also oversee them proving their ability to shoot, at the very least, a simple crossbow to the direction of the Imperial Foot that came along with him.
A simple enough test that was fair and allowed many to be sorted into other places into the army.
But that was not the case this time, only those who could pass the test would be accepted into the new armies. The mere thought of which made Farek need to grab hold of his desk, as he suddenly felt dizzy.
It was bad enough patriotic fervor ran wildly in all of Ostland, but to tell Ostlanders that they cannot join the largest group of Handgunners to ever be trained in Ostland? That those that will be given premier guns of the Academy that Magnus blessed himself, would not accept them? Ostlanders that loved guns nearly as much as they loved drinking? To tell those men they will not join?
Hundreds upon hundreds of men, drunken beyond belief and more than ready to cause a ruckus would streak from their homes and give chase to his caravan.
Farek momentarily pondered speaking to the Imperial Foot that he worked alongside with, perhaps to lighten the standards of the massive recruitment drive. Thus, he would meet his quota faster… perhaps return early and find a woman to start a family with.
However, the thought that inadequate troops will be trained stopped that trail of thought readily.
Farek ran a hand through his early-graying hair and sighed as he consigned himself to spending a whole other year gathering the best he can for Ostland's armies.
A single man's wishes, after all, weighed little in the face of the fate of the entire empire itself.
Name of the Prussian Kings, later German Emperors until end of WW1.
Also Friederich II. Hohenzollern, also known as The Great, was really awesome. He failed so badly at diplomacy that he had to fight all of the rest of Europe and WON.
prince84
In central Dogma flirting with Lilith.
- Location
- The Madness Place
I will once I see a battle report.
Having one before the update means we get a bonus to it if it's canon, which could very well mean we auto-succeed on the Hochland roll.
Massgamer
Advance toward the Future
- Location
- The Future
Yeah that was my though as well since I'm paranoid.
Also having a bonus toward research would help as well for the same reasons.
Dungur's Ambush - prince84
prince84
In central Dogma flirting with Lilith.
- Location
- The Madness Place
Omake: Dungur's Ambush
Dungur was annoyed. The Green skin piggy riders had attacked just as he was falling asleep. Now here he was in his helmet and half his armor no idea where his weapon was and a heavily armored piggy rider charging down on him. Luckily Dungur's time on the farm had taught him how to deal with a feral piggy.
As the piggy closed in he stomped heavily on it's head. this stop the piggy alright but failed to stop the rider who gave Dungur an unintentional flying headbutt to the face. Grabbing hold of Dungur's shirt and tried to smash his helmet in while yelling in Dungur's face.
"In Lord Freddy's name Shut Up! Your give me a headache." Dungur roared grabbing the Orc by its legs and pulling it free from his face just in time to smack a second Orc off it's piggy killing the second Orc and silencing the first.
With his sight now free of Orc teeth he see a couple of Piggy riders attacking one of Lord Freddy's canon and the canon men having trouble killing them. Knowing his duty to Lord Freddy and Canons and lacking his weapon Dungur shifts his grip on the Orc he charges into the back of the Piggy riders with a cry of"Canon man of Ostland In the name of Lord Freddy and Canons kill the Greenies." Having cleared the Piggy riders he stood guard over the canons and encouraged the canon men for the rest of the battle. After all Dungur knew his duty to Lord Freddy and Canon.
("Then just as we were being over run by Black Orc Boar Riders a helmed Ogre in half armor and wielding a black Orc Nob as a weapon came charging out of the darkness screaming blessings in the name of Lord Freddy of Canon and killed them all. He then stood guard over us and layed blessing on the canons for the rest of the battle. I now have questions for you. When did we get an Ogre Warpriest and which saint is Lord Freddy of Canon? I need to make some offerings at his shrine." Sample of after action report from the 2nd Ostland cannoneers)
Dungur was annoyed. The Green skin piggy riders had attacked just as he was falling asleep. Now here he was in his helmet and half his armor no idea where his weapon was and a heavily armored piggy rider charging down on him. Luckily Dungur's time on the farm had taught him how to deal with a feral piggy.
As the piggy closed in he stomped heavily on it's head. this stop the piggy alright but failed to stop the rider who gave Dungur an unintentional flying headbutt to the face. Grabbing hold of Dungur's shirt and tried to smash his helmet in while yelling in Dungur's face.
"In Lord Freddy's name Shut Up! Your give me a headache." Dungur roared grabbing the Orc by its legs and pulling it free from his face just in time to smack a second Orc off it's piggy killing the second Orc and silencing the first.
With his sight now free of Orc teeth he see a couple of Piggy riders attacking one of Lord Freddy's canon and the canon men having trouble killing them. Knowing his duty to Lord Freddy and Canons and lacking his weapon Dungur shifts his grip on the Orc he charges into the back of the Piggy riders with a cry of"Canon man of Ostland In the name of Lord Freddy and Canons kill the Greenies." Having cleared the Piggy riders he stood guard over the canons and encouraged the canon men for the rest of the battle. After all Dungur knew his duty to Lord Freddy and Canon.
("Then just as we were being over run by Black Orc Boar Riders a helmed Ogre in half armor and wielding a black Orc Nob as a weapon came charging out of the darkness screaming blessings in the name of Lord Freddy of Canon and killed them all. He then stood guard over us and layed blessing on the canons for the rest of the battle. I now have questions for you. When did we get an Ogre Warpriest and which saint is Lord Freddy of Canon? I need to make some offerings at his shrine." Sample of after action report from the 2nd Ostland cannoneers)
Nah, make him the patron saint of cannons for the ogres. They need their own religion, and I feel like that religious symbol would be a sight more useful than some of the others.
Canon will never be the same after the introduction of Cannon.
Cannon Bearers of Lord Freddy - prince84
prince84
In central Dogma flirting with Lilith.
- Location
- The Madness Place
Omake: The Cannon Bearers of Lord Freddy
Dungur's point of view:
Lord Freddy is truly wise. He knows he can trust the blessed cannons to his loyal Ogres. Now, how did hammer man bless thing? Ah yes he took the liquid blessing and anointed it like this, call out of the blessing. Now time to fire.
Engineer's point of view:
Engineer 1 "Bob did that Ogre just pour some ostka in with the cannon's primer and call out for a blessing from some Lord Freddy?"
Engineer 2 "Yes he did Phil."
Engineer 1 "Did he just fire off a shot surrounded by blue flame that destroyed the stone target?"
Engineer 2 "Yes he did."
Engineer 1 "Do you think we should tell anyone about his?"
Engineer 2 "Are you crazy? No I want to see what he comes up with next."
Dungur's point of view:
'Good. Now that I have the blessings down I just have to teach them to the rest of Lord Freddy's The Cannon Bearers.' Dungur thinks as he moves over to talk to the other Ogres.
Dungur's point of view:
Lord Freddy is truly wise. He knows he can trust the blessed cannons to his loyal Ogres. Now, how did hammer man bless thing? Ah yes he took the liquid blessing and anointed it like this, call out of the blessing. Now time to fire.
Engineer's point of view:
Engineer 1 "Bob did that Ogre just pour some ostka in with the cannon's primer and call out for a blessing from some Lord Freddy?"
Engineer 2 "Yes he did Phil."
Engineer 1 "Did he just fire off a shot surrounded by blue flame that destroyed the stone target?"
Engineer 2 "Yes he did."
Engineer 1 "Do you think we should tell anyone about his?"
Engineer 2 "Are you crazy? No I want to see what he comes up with next."
Dungur's point of view:
'Good. Now that I have the blessings down I just have to teach them to the rest of Lord Freddy's The Cannon Bearers.' Dungur thinks as he moves over to talk to the other Ogres.
A letter to the Pious - prince84
prince84
In central Dogma flirting with Lilith.
- Location
- The Madness Place
Omake: A letter to the Pious
Honored Emperor Magnus the Pious.
I know your time is precious but I must beg for some advice on a religious matter.
It seems when I killed Gruber some of the Ogres with me were so impressed with me that they started to worship me as Lord Freddy and Cannons or Lord Freddy of the Cannons. I'm not really sure which. I tried to tell them I'm not a god and that I worship Sigmar. they all responded with the same line. " That's okay you believe in Sigmar we believe in you." Then they wander away to bless a cannon with Ostka.
Do you have any advice? Lady Natasha has nearly cracked her ribs laughing and the local priests keep switching between laughter and twitching whenever I bring it up.
Your Loyal (and desperate) Elector Count Joseph Hohenzollern of Ostland.
Honored Emperor Magnus the Pious.
I know your time is precious but I must beg for some advice on a religious matter.
It seems when I killed Gruber some of the Ogres with me were so impressed with me that they started to worship me as Lord Freddy and Cannons or Lord Freddy of the Cannons. I'm not really sure which. I tried to tell them I'm not a god and that I worship Sigmar. they all responded with the same line. " That's okay you believe in Sigmar we believe in you." Then they wander away to bless a cannon with Ostka.
Do you have any advice? Lady Natasha has nearly cracked her ribs laughing and the local priests keep switching between laughter and twitching whenever I bring it up.
Your Loyal (and desperate) Elector Count Joseph Hohenzollern of Ostland.
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Drawing Board - okais
okais
Tech Arthur
- Location
- Brunei
Omake: Drawing Board.
Engineer 1: Alright wheres that ogre volunteer of our?
Engineer 2: Derghgag could you come here?
Derghag: Yes little man?
Engineer 1: Ok i want you to test this and tell me how comfortable it is. (points to prototype handcannons)
Derghag: Ok. (Grunt) Metal thingy heavy. (Start swinging the cannon around like a club) I like it, but hard to hold.
Engineer 2: Ok Derghgag! Dont swing it wildly or ......(Crash....tinkle..tinkle) you lose your grip.
Derghgag: Opps. Me sorry, Metal thingy go bye bye out window.
Engineer 1: Sigh, Back to the drawing board. We have to make it easier for Ogres to hold and use it as clubs in a pinch.
Outside. A group of students are being drilled how to use cannons.
Instructor: Now you sorry lot, No matter what you must keep your cool during combat! Unexpected things can (Crash) What the .....(Hand Cannon landed onto field making a crater and scattering the students.)
Engineer 1: Alright wheres that ogre volunteer of our?
Engineer 2: Derghgag could you come here?
Derghag: Yes little man?
Engineer 1: Ok i want you to test this and tell me how comfortable it is. (points to prototype handcannons)
Derghag: Ok. (Grunt) Metal thingy heavy. (Start swinging the cannon around like a club) I like it, but hard to hold.
Engineer 2: Ok Derghgag! Dont swing it wildly or ......(Crash....tinkle..tinkle) you lose your grip.
Derghgag: Opps. Me sorry, Metal thingy go bye bye out window.
Engineer 1: Sigh, Back to the drawing board. We have to make it easier for Ogres to hold and use it as clubs in a pinch.
Outside. A group of students are being drilled how to use cannons.
Instructor: Now you sorry lot, No matter what you must keep your cool during combat! Unexpected things can (Crash) What the .....(Hand Cannon landed onto field making a crater and scattering the students.)
I suppose he'll start uttering praises to Sigmar that involve smashing his enemies. Come to think of it given what Urgdug talked of his fears of succumbing to the influence of the great maw, would having them convert to the various human religions serve as a way to block out the influence?
Besides an ogre Sigmarite war priest I can see an ogre Ulrican war priest as well since the Empire's wargods should appeal to an ogre's interest in fighting. Maybe Myrmidia too if some of them can be a bit smarter like a ogryn bon'ead.
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Massgamer
Advance toward the Future
- Location
- The Future
They're just for fun and if the GM decides a few are canon for bonuses even better.
- Location
- Melbourne, Australia
@torroar will Freddy ever use his pistols in a fight? We did get a few towards the beginning, but Freddy has never actually used them a fight. Of course pistols aren't exactly the weapon of choice that I would go with when fighting a Nurgle zombie hoard.
These aren't anything important. I just found them and thought that they looked cool, and considering our provinces love with guns and that if we were to be known for doing near heretical actions like turning cannons into a carrying weapon that we may do something like this.
These aren't anything important. I just found them and thought that they looked cool, and considering our provinces love with guns and that if we were to be known for doing near heretical actions like turning cannons into a carrying weapon that we may do something like this.
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Massgamer
Advance toward the Future
- Location
- The Future
Nice pics.
There are a surprising amount of things added to guns to make them more deadly in history.
I mean there are some Crazy Guns.
There are a surprising amount of things added to guns to make them more deadly in history.
I mean there are some Crazy Guns.
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