Warhammer Fantasy: A Dynasty of Dynamic Alcoholism

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thefoolswriter said:
what does limbs have to with it
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Maybe if you branched out a bit you'd be able to understand.

thefoolswriter said:
what has this thread become phub
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Welcome to the phenomena of PUNS. Whether it's called a punstorm, a puntrain, or something else entirely, once enough puns happen a lot of posters get the urge to join in. As you can see I'm not immune to this, so as much as I might want to leaf you alone...well...
 
To everyone who made a wood pun: you are going to get a stern talking to by the flying pink and orange badger of pun suppression.
...
Just make sure that it isn't the flying pink and burnt umber badger of thumb breaking when it shows up. That bastard can be pretty good at getting you to drop your guard.
 
[CANON] The Middle Frontier - Massgamer
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    • The Middle Frontier​

    The Middle Mountains have been for much of the Empire's history and before it a breeding ground for the enemies of man, most notably the greenskins and beastmen. It was the place that birthed Gorthor the Cruel who created the largest warherd in the Empire's history and nearly destroyed Ostland and Hochland in their entirety. More recently it spawned a Waagh of such size and power it plowed through Hochland, killing their count in the process, and the rest of the Empire to lay siege to Nuln itself. It is even whispered that the mountains and everything in them have been pronounced as cursed by the dawi long ago since all refuse to even step anywhere past the range's foothills today, though the rumors of purposely abandoned dwarf holds is unclear since all evidence of their existence was thoroughly removed by dawi themselves during the Time of Woes and they refuse to mention anything more than that, if they know anything at all. Legend says that near the location where Castle Lenkster now stands was the place where the dawi left the mountains for good and a priest made the pronouncement so long ago after they sealed the doors, buried them under rock, and destroyed the roads that led to the abandoned holds.

    Most think the dawi deemed the mountains cursed due to it's seemingly total lack of mineral resources beyond what little found in foothills, or perhaps the mountains were even a worse breeding ground for monsters back then. It certainly doesn't dissuade the many prospectors and adventurers that have searched for the lost dwarf mines, but none have succeeded, unless they are among those who have never returned.

    When one hears of all this one would assume that the Middle Mountains would remain an ever present threat for the people of the Empire till the end times, however many believed the same of the now former Forest of Shadows and it's dark master.

    Thanks to the quick efforts of Elector Count Frederick von Hohenzollern and the armies of Ostland, after the Waagh that most recently threatened Nuln left the Middle Mountains that it also left it more barren than seen in generations of enemies, mankind swept through the range putting to the sword all vile beastmen, greenskins, and monsters in their path before claiming the range entirely. The count saw preventing said region from returning to it's terrible roots as so important an entirely new army was made to patrol and cull the region constantly as well as the establishments of many defenses as to prevent build up of various enemies. During the Elector's Meet of 2331 the mountain range was divided into segments to Middenland, Hochland, and Ostland with Nordland forfeiting all claims on mountains within their borders. While Middenland got the lion's share of mountains to control and defend Ostland maintained control of easternmost mountains within their boarders.

    However, count Hohenzollern simply did not wish to make Middle Mountains free of the enemies of man but another haven of it as well. So it was that steps were taken to open up Ostland's section of the Middle Mountains to settlement for Ostlanders.

    The Army of the Range still patrols heavily their now vastly smaller section of the mountains for threats and begun building even more forts, watchtowers, guard stations along the currently minor roads that connected with Wulfenburg and other settlements near foothills to better help their efforts. They were also supplied with cannons and even flocks of bomb carrying birds to better be able to lay siege upon gatherings of greenskins or beastmen in the mountainous terrain. With both their skill and faith, bolstered due accompanying priests, mankind would tame these wild mountains rather than let them control us.

    Of course simply having an army does not a nation make. Thanks to our steadfast dawi allies, for all that they refuse to enter mountains themselves, farms were created and are being expanded on steps carved into the very mountains so that hardy crops can be grown in an environment most would not consider good land for it. With the work on creating irrigation from mountain rivers and taping into the groundwater Ostlanders will not be without the means to support life. More surprising is the buying of a great number of dawi bred goats who will thrive in such a location and in a couple of years should provide many Ostlanders with fresh milk, cheese, furs, and meat. With so much work going into making the area productive there are many coming of age Ostlanders born after the Vampire War who are moving to region to make their own paths away from their parents' lands to farm their own or provide other important services such as blacksmiths, carpenters, or brewers.

    Arguably the most important has been the establishment of several temples of Ulric and Gardens of Morr throughout the Ostland portion of the Middle Mountains to preserve the souls of noble Ostlanders and care for their dead. The first attends to the important spiritual needs of the vast majority of Ostlanders in general while also serving as further bastions of defense against the enemies of man while the latter helps make sure there is little chance of an undead uprising in an area that could still potentially play host to the Doomlord. There has even been talks of creating several new Great Kitchens as well but for now that is simply rumors. The pioneer Ostlanders can rest easy knowing that the gods are not far from them nor are their servants even in this remote place.

    In many ways this period of time is the first real expansion of Ostland since the time before Kislev where Ostland was forced to give up their claims due to the weakness of others. Where such frontier settlements fail more often or not in Empire history Ostlanders are as positive as their nature allows them to be about the success of the region due to their count's strong efforts to support them in many ways. While they may not make the province rich in minerals in the future these mountains may become a breadbasket of Ostland away from the ever present dangers of the Hohenzollern Forest.

    Only time will tell if these efforts will bare fruit, and until then Ostland shall do it with stubborn spirit and a flask in hand.
     
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