Little Ritsuka and her Loving Family (Fate/Grand Order)

Please, whatever Rin may say, she couldn't conquer a wet paper bag, she's too much of a screw up. It's far more likely that Shirou and Saber just quietly let her have this in order to salvage what remains of her pride.

Always felt more like Rin was more open about the sexual aspects of the relationship between her, Shirou and Saber.
That doesn't mean she's good at the steps that come beforehand.

She needed Shirou's charm for that.

 
Kira Queen just pulled a Tuxedo Mask. I need to sigh a bit.
Actually, the whole "STEAL YOUR HEARTS" thing made me think it was a Persona 5 reference.

I never saw it coming.
It was a last surprise.

The line is apocryphal and a lot of what pop culture knows about her was made after her death, she got demonized and satanized because she was a convenient target and a convenient scapegoat.
Though Marie doesn't have it in canon(?), the Innocent Monster skill is exactly this.
Even if the original person was completely normal, the skill warps them according to the perception of the masses.

Examples:
Elizabeth Bathory having draconic features, because of her reputed dragon ancestry.
Hans Andersen being a shota with a DIO deep voice, because "only a child-like person can write such great stories for children".
Vlad III became a vampire, because of the novel Dracula.

Antonio Salieri had nothing to do with the death of his student, Amadeus Mozart, but due to people believing that he did...

tl;dr - What people think is important, and the more people think it's true, the truer it becomes.
 
Hans Andersen being a shota with a DIO deep voice, because "only a child-like person can write such great stories for children".
he also have burn, mermaid scale and other thing under his clothes

Innocent Monster either make your inhuman ancestry pop out or make you into one if you don't have the gene

you rather have the former then the later, cause the later is way worse since it compile all the shit about you instead of just giving you extra limbs or extra body part
 
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The most monsterist of Innocent Monsters, she has parlayed that ability into so much bullshit that she kind deserves to forge a whole new legend, the "mad Heroic Spirit" who warps herself and reality due to her epic level self loathing.

Liz is kindy freaky with how much mileage she gets out of Innocent Monster.
that because what Innocent Monster bring out is already a part of her and not something add on like Han or the other guy

Dragon have high mana = Mana Burst become available and enough Mana to be a Caster

Dragon breath = instead of fire Liz make her Dragon Breath into a Sonic Scream

Her Saber version have both of that and she bring out more of it physical ability, insane strength and absurd durable scale

she can wear that bikini armor all she like, her skin is tougher then everything else not make by god or a legendary armorsmith

Saber Liz is about as close to a mini dragon as she can get with out copying Sieg and just straight up turn into a Dragon
 
Omake - Lingering Memories
This was designed for hyper maximum feels saturation. Canon might be dubious.

****

Chiyome never understand why Pink Caster with the... Weird... Magic Wand thingies was... well, very touchy-feely with her. No, not that kind of touchy feely. It seems she tend to get closer and talk to her, and always happy to do so even when Chiyome can only gave her short, vague reply.

So, one day, she asked her.

"Oh, it is bothering you? I am sorry-"

"No, not that. Is just that, well, I am aware I am not really the most social person there. I am not Nursery Rhyme-san, who knows many children stories, or Gilgamesh-kun, who had many stories and treasures to share. Or even Mordred-kun, who... loves to boast. So... it is just... unusual."

"...."

"Not that is bad, mind you. Just unusual."

"...Well, it's because you remind me of Miyu-chan."

"...Miyu-chan?"

"Well, yes, it was started when I'm still this normal grade-schooler and Ruby just kidnap me and-"

****

"-It was a close call, but we managed it! We save the world, and nobody suffering for it. ... Well, not suffering much."

"Ah, I see. I reminded you of... this Miyu-chan?"

"Yes, you are so just like her! Even the serious side. I mean, you are more serious than her, but, well...."

"Ah, I see. ...Who is her true name?"

"Well, now we know her as Miyu Emiya, but Other Nii-san told us her name before, something like, uh, Sa... ki..."

"Sakatsuki"

"-Yes, that! Miyu Sakatsuki-"

****

Her beloved had gone, claimed by war.

Her master, her retainer gone, killed by treacherous action, brought upon by war.

War. War. War.

They said it was necessity. They said it was inevitable. They said it was the greatest chance for everyone to prove themselves.

All she could see was wasteful, unnecessary destruction, anger, pain, and death.

Her final order had been given.

With The Ruin of Takeda, she would bring entire Japan to pay for her loss. They shall know her pain. Her anger. Her sadness.

Channeled through the Curse of Yamata no Orochi.

"Mother, are you okay? We are ready."

"...Yes. Let's do our duty."

All she needs to do is just sacrifice herself, and bring her daughter with her. Along with other 6 maiden.

...Can she does this?

****

"-yome-san? Chiyome-san? Are you okay?"

Chiyome Mochizuki, awakened from her reverie, jolted.

"Uh, um, yes. I am... good."

"...You cried. Are you sure you okay?"

"...I am sorry, just... old memories. I am good now."

"...If you said so. So, yeah, she was Miyu Sakatsuki before then-"

"They said Sakatsuki line had power to grant a single wish."

Kuro chimed in.

"And Other-Nii-san said that for generations, unbroken-"

****

Instead of expected pain, her daughter fall into the peace of sleep, along with other three younger girl.

"Uh, Master?"

Chiyome, silent, simply gave the other, each older girl a packet.

It contain documents and some money.

"Leave. Leave this war, and never look back. Take your sister with you."

"...But, but Master, the order-"

"I rescind that order. Nothing for us there. Nothing for me and my daughter there."

"...."

"...Please, this is my last wish. A wish of a mother. Please grant it, my daughters."

"...Y-yes, ma'am!"

"...Master, what about you?"

"I-"

Chiyome considered for a moment.

"Sakatsuki-san, would you take care for my daughter for me?"

"I-I- Yes, Mochizuki-sama!"

"...Thank you. Now, let me gave you all my last blessing-"

****

"-That they only wished for their children-"

****

"Please you all, grow up splendidly and healthy. Please live a fulfilling life-"

****

"-To grew up healthy. Nothing more, nothing less."

"...That... That is... true?"

"..Uh, um, yes? I mean-"

Chiyome Mochizuki, once Priestess of Orochi, can't help herself anymore. She can only cried, and hug Illya and Kuro.

"Chiyome-chan?!"

"...Thank you.... thank you...."

"Ooooh, a big hug! Ritsuka wants a hug too!"

"Can we join, too?"

"Me too! Me too!"

And everybody was hugging together that day.

****
 
This was designed for hyper maximum feels saturation. Canon might be dubious.

****

Chiyome never understand why Pink Caster with the... Weird... Magic Wand thingies was... well, very touchy-feely with her. No, not that kind of touchy feely. It seems she tend to get closer and talk to her, and always happy to do so even when Chiyome can only gave her short, vague reply.

So, one day, she asked her.

"Oh, it is bothering you? I am sorry-"

"No, not that. Is just that, well, I am aware I am not really the most social person there. I am not Nursery Rhyme-san, who knows many children stories, or Gilgamesh-kun, who had many stories and treasures to share. Or even Mordred-kun, who... loves to boast. So... it is just... unusual."

"...."

"Not that is bad, mind you. Just unusual."

"...Well, it's because you remind me of Miyu-chan."

"...Miyu-chan?"

"Well, yes, it was started when I'm still this normal grade-schooler and Ruby just kidnap me and-"

****

"-It was a close call, but we managed it! We save the world, and nobody suffering for it. ... Well, not suffering much."

"Ah, I see. I reminded you of... this Miyu-chan?"

"Yes, you are so just like her! Even the serious side. I mean, you are more serious than her, but, well...."

"Ah, I see. ...Who is her true name?"

"Well, now we know her as Miyu Emiya, but Other Nii-san told us her name before, something like, uh, Sa... ki..."

"Sakatsuki"

"-Yes, that! Miyu Sakatsuki-"

****

Her beloved had gone, claimed by war.

Her master, her retainer gone, killed by treacherous action, brought upon by war.

War. War. War.

They said it was necessity. They said it was inevitable. They said it was the greatest chance for everyone to prove themselves.

All she could see was wasteful, unnecessary destruction, anger, pain, and death.

Her final order had been given.

With The Ruin of Takeda, she would bring entire Japan to pay for her loss. They shall know her pain. Her anger. Her sadness.

Channeled through the Curse of Yamata no Orochi.

"Mother, are you okay? We are ready."

"...Yes. Let's do our duty."

All she needs to do is just sacrifice herself, and bring her daughter with her. Along with other 6 maiden.

...Can she does this?

****

"-yome-san? Chiyome-san? Are you okay?"

Chiyome Mochizuki, awakened from her reverie, jolted.

"Uh, um, yes. I am... good."

"...You cried. Are you sure you okay?"

"...I am sorry, just... old memories. I am good now."

"...If you said so. So, yeah, she was Miyu Sakatsuki before then-"

"They said Sakatsuki line had power to grant a single wish."

Kuro chimed in.

"And Other-Nii-san said that for generations, unbroken-"

****

Instead of expected pain, her daughter fall into the peace of sleep, along with other three younger girl.

"Uh, Master?"

Chiyome, silent, simply gave the other, each older girl a packet.

It contain documents and some money.

"Leave. Leave this war, and never look back. Take your sister with you."

"...But, but Master, the order-"

"I rescind that order. Nothing for us there. Nothing for me and my daughter there."

"...."

"...Please, this is my last wish. A wish of a mother. Please grant it, my daughters."

"...Y-yes, ma'am!"

"...Master, what about you?"

"I-"

Chiyome considered for a moment.

"Sakatsuki-san, would you take care for my daughter for me?"

"I-I- Yes, Mochizuki-sama!"

"...Thank you. Now, let me gave you all my last blessing-"

****

"-That they only wished for their children-"

****

"Please you all, grow up splendidly and healthy. Please live a fulfilling life-"

****

"-To grew up healthy. Nothing more, nothing less."

"...That... That is... true?"

"..Uh, um, yes? I mean-"

Chiyome Mochizuki, once Priestess of Orochi, can't help herself anymore. She can only cried, and hug Illya and Kuro.

"Chiyome-chan?!"

"...Thank you.... thank you...."

"Ooooh, a big hug! Ritsuka wants a hug too!"

"Can we join, too?"

"Me too! Me too!"

And everybody was hugging together that day.

****
Sweet, but lacking in the omph to really hit hard enough to be memorable. Proofread it, rearrange some of the flashbacks to break up the text less, and you could have a winner! Not on par with Illya protecting Shirou in Heaven's Feel, but still worthwhile.
 
"Kill them all!" Jeanne Alter snapped, falling back behind her Servants as the four closed in and the dragons roared. There was a moment of total silence. Then everything started moving at once. Cu and the black Lancer collided with a clash of metal on metal, their spears locking between their bodies for just a moment before they separated again. The blue Saber lunged forward, only to be met by Arturia's blade, their swords moving in patterns too fast for anyone other than a Servant to see as they lunged back and forth. The red Assassin waved a hand, calling spiked chains into existence around her, but they were swatted aside as Sasaki stepped forward, his blade moving in perfectly controlled motions to bat the spearing chains away before they could hit anyone. The white robed Rider raised her staff and leaped forward, only to be met by the staff of CasCu. Fire exploded off of Cu's staff while golden light blasted back off of Rider's. The swirl of energy consumed both of them for a moment, scorching the grass at their feet and hiding them from view as they clash.

EMIYA just clicks his tongue and opens fire, magical arrows blasting through wings, claws, and any vulnerable spot he can find as the dragons swarm them. Rin's energy blasts fire almost nonstop, hammering the beasts whenever they swoop around to draw close. And Jeanne herself charged forward, her standard batting aside wyverns and blasts of fire as she tried to close the gap on her dark counterpart.
You just introduced 7 new servants in this chapter. ~5 were enemies, 2 were allies. While troublesome, please try to include pictures of them in the future(unless youve changed the enemies, so you're keeping it a surprise.)

Most of us here play FGO, but plenty haven't, and not including pictures or compensating with a standard text description is poor writing and punishes those who were interested in this story...
 
Man reading this makes me look back at France in amusement. Marie was a true homie to the team. This is also making me think of the potential interactions when Illya and Kuro come along, does Gudako refer to them as big sister? And if so how will they react?
 
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