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The argument goes:
1) Half the thread was totally right in saying Meizhen knew her business and was justified in her actions
-> 2) But we didn't know it was this serious
--> 3) But Meizhen clearly thought it was so, and we knew that.
---> 4) But then we would think he dead.
----> 5) Maybe, but we could very well not fall for his ploy, or force him to reveal it to salvage resources, or a number of things. This does nothing to detract from 1), which is, we should have accepted that Meizhen knew better.
You're simplifying the arguments for 'restraint' with #1, however. The big arguments against involved the consequences of being ruthless to either Qi and Meizhen's relationship (Qi becoming upset at an "accidental death") or to Meizhen and the sect's relationship (an arranged "fuck you" from a 'deceased' Yan Renshu). To be honest, even if Meizhen had revealed that info earlier, I would've still voted for restraint, since in the end I thought a lack of restraint was the riskier course of action to take. Ling Qi trying to rise above her past and so forth was a nice fluff bonus reason to vote for it, but the underlying practicalities were why I voted that way.
You do yourself no favors to pretend that the sole reason for restraint was "Ling Qi didn't think it was serious".