The Musings of a Real Tortoise, or
Precious' Thoughts
We needed to dig, to gather fuel, to make a nest. It was a drive we had, a drive that could not really be expressed. Food was needed for our hibernation, this we knew. We didn't know how we knew it, but we knew it regardless. Concern from Mo - Big Sister was a skittering thought against our soul. We ignored it, for there was nothing to be concerned about. This was natural, this was right.
It was so hard to talk to Big Sis right now. There was so much to do, and so little time to do it. We told her what we needed, but it felt as though there was a thick sheet of velvet over our thoughts. Nothing was clear, only the need to have a nest and fuel to burn. Big Sis came through though, she brought nicely scented wood, soft piles of good hay, and some other plants that smelt nice. We could feel that the qi of the materials was thick as well, embedded into the wood, hay, and plants. It would be wonderful to burn it all.
And so we ate and we built, then we built and ate. This is what we needed to do, all other concerns fell by the wayside. The nest grew bigger by the hour, and Big Sis kept feeding us all that we could eat. A platter of fruit was destroyed in our ravenous hunger, but it was ok because nothing was more important than building the nest and growing. Growing strong enough to protect Big Sis from all those mean people who hurt her.
Eventually, the nest was ready, the dirt, wood, hay, and plants all arranged to provide safety and security from all those outside of the nest. We felt some qi of Big Sis permeate enter some formations we hadn't notice before layering even more protection around us. Finally we were safe to grow, finally we were ready to grow, and finally it was time to grow.
Our thoughts retreated further into ourselves. Big Sis became even more muted and distant than before. It was alright though, this was natural, this was right, and Big Sis would be ok while we grew strong. And so we began to focus inward, focus on that which stopped us from growing stronger. And in that state, we began to burn, and the nest alit with flame. The flame grew, consuming all of the nest in a fiery convocation. As the flames grew, so did the heat, and we fed the fires ourselves as well, becoming a part of it and feeding it to keep it going. The heat was comfortable and so we drew it in.
It was in this state that we began to ponder. What did it mean to be of destruction and growth? How could growth and destruction be in one being? How could Zhen be Gui, and Gui be Zhen?
Destruction fed on fuel, and without fuel it could not begin or grow. For without something to destroy, what was destruction? Growth required fuel as well, nutrients, as well as space. Without the space or the nutrients how could anything grow? Destruction destroys providing space for growth, and growth provides fuel for destruction allowing destruction to be sustained which in turn allowed growth to continue. In this the cycle was everlasting. But was this all? Was there not more to the cycle?
Our thoughts turned to the spirit we met while playing with the pretty fires, Linhuo. A spirit of pure fire, born from something called a forest fire far from here. Why did the forest burn, what help did the fire provide to the forest that caused the forest to welcome the scorching heat of fire? What of our ash, something that was created from growth and destruction combined. What was it, and what benefit did ash have for fires or for growth?
The destruction of growth makes ash. Destruction has no substance, which means that the ash is a part of growth. As a part of growth, shouldn't ash help with the growth of new things? Wouldn't it have the nutrients that growth requires? Is that the key, that through the destruction of the forest, the new growth would have both the space and nutrients needed? And through the new growth, more fuel would be there for more destruction to begin and be sustained? Thus the cycle evolves, for through destruction growth receives everything it needs, and through growth destruction receives everything it needs. While one may have one or the other, it is through both that they can sustain themselves in an everlasting cycle of destruction and growth, of growth and destruction.
But is that all? Does it stop there? Is there nothing more to this cycle but providing that which the other half needs? No, there must be more. Destruction destroys all the fuel that it is given. Without discrimination, prejudice, or care. And should there be more fuel, then there is a growth of the destruction to consume that fuel. So with more fuel, destruction grows, and it will keep growing to consume all that fuel. In that sense, destruction also grows, just like the tallest trees and forests, destruction will grow to consume all of the fuel and space that it has available.
Then what of growth? Does that destroy as well? How can growth destroy? Then we remembered the roots of the great trees where we lived. They dug down through the earth, ever searching for more nutrients, burrowing and consuming all they dug through. They destroyed the earth in their search for more. Then they reached the rock of the mountain, and in their search for more, they cracked the rock like a walnut, digging deeper into the mountain. All the roots touched were destroyed to fuel the growth of the trees. Was this not like destruction, destroying all that was touched to grow larger and larger?
As such, we came to the realization, that to grow was to destroy, and to destroy was to grow. They are not different sides of the same coin, they are both present on each side of the coin. Growth and destruction required each other to flourish, and in flourishing, growth destroyed and destruction grows. This was truth.
We would destroy all that prevented us from growing, and in that act we would grow. In the act of growing past our limit, we would destroy the chains that prevented us from becoming powerful enough to protect Big Sis. We would be free to destroy those chains and to grow past our limits, to grow strong enough to protect Big Sis and destroy all that would hurt her. We were not only destruction, nor were we only growth. We were the embodiment of the cycle, the cycle that never ends. The cycle that required destruction to grow, and growth to destroy. Never will there be one without the other, and in one the other can be found as well.
It was in these thoughts that we drew comfort, and as we pondered these things our nest burned ever more fiercely but was never extinguished.
A/N: So, here is my take on what Zhengui is thinking and working over while in his nest. I don't know how much of these things he is thinking, or how deeply he is thinking of them, but this is what I think would be a good starting point for Zhengui to mull over regarding what it means to be a Xuanwu that is both destruction and growth. I hope you enjoy the read! As always, critiques and criticism are welcomed.