- Location
- Online
And you know Strypgia is pretty much Aku's reincarnation. Go back into the thread for past posts. You'll see the signs.
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Advice and Trust [NGE]
- Location
- Australia, mate
"Long ago, in a distant forum, I, Strypgia, the shapeshifting moderator of darkness, posted an UNSPEAKABLE EVIL! The end!"
- Location
- Online
"But a foolish fanfic writer wielding a magic pen logged on to oppose me.".
... ... ...Now we just have to find this writer. Any suggestions guys? Strypgia feel free to put in your two cents as to who this writer can be. He is going to oppose you, you should have some say. Don't want you to get stuck with someone annoying.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Adam Kadmon.
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/819499/Adam-Kadmon
He writes... dark Eva fics. Like the ne plus ultra of Eva darkfics, I Knew Him When.
Timerider
That guy who really should get out more.
- Location
- The End of the World.
For your own sake don't go there. I was honestly messed up by several of his fics.
- Location
- RWBY Wiki
Using the Red Truth. Well, that settles it then.
- Location
- Online
Adam Kadmon.
How the hell is he "fool with a magic weapon" material?! If anything he'd be your Demongo. At worst he'd be a second Aku who would try to take you out to be the only evil.
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- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
- Location
- Online
That's not funny. That's not funny at all. That's like saying all the volcanoes erupting while the sky is falling is funny. The two of you working on a fic, trying to one up each other in darkness, feeding off of each other as you compete will make the darkest Eva fic...no! The darkest fic...NO! The Darkest Fanfiction ever known.
Working on update. Before the end of the year.
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Astray Spiral
Potential Evil Incarnate
- Location
- C:\Windows\explorer.exe
Well, didn't expect Adam Kadmon to be brought up again. With that said, I find his works... enjoyable (granted, they aren't for those who are more in tune with WAFF). I already read some of them (Soloist, True Love Waits, Fast, Supernumerary, and more recently Conditional Surrender), and in a figurative way, I smile once I'm done reading them (I am Potential Evil Incarnate people, please note that, I cheered for Arael of all things ).
Though I will say, despite desensitizing myself steadily every time I read it, The Second Other still fucks me up (I require brain bleach).
).Though I will say, despite desensitizing myself steadily every time I read it, The Second Other still fucks me up (I require brain bleach).
- Location
- Canada
In time, you will know the tragic extent of their writings...
Sketchy Lurker
Your guardian angle.
- Location
- United States
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Not giving yourself a lot of time there, Strypgia, are you?
Looking forward to it, though!
- Location
- California
Is that including or excluding the angel?
GeshronTyler
Kleiner Giftzwerg
Working on update. Before the end of the year.
Yup, especially as he's about 6+ hours ahead of us in the states. Well, as long as he manages to post it while its 2017 still somewhere in the world...Not giving yourself a lot of time there, Strypgia, are you?
Looking forward to it, though!
Hangover Omake #2 - Four of us - part 1
- Location
- On a powder keg, next to a fire
With Strypgia's permission, I present my vision of how events would unfold after "Evangelion: the Hangover". Familiarity with the preceding work is assumed, but not strictly necessary.
Four of us - part 1.
Tale of settling in
The flight to Japan from the eventful – and fateful – time in Las Vegas was filled with mix of residual excitement from the emotional overload they have been subjected to, worry about legitimisation on part of the newlywed quartet, thoughts on how to present the situation to their families from Hikari and Touji, and smug smiles on Misato's and Kaji part – that sometimes escalated into giggling, as Misato was clearly recalling some funnier part of their trip.
"Good to see that someone is not worried about anything," Asuka growled. While the worst of the hangover was long gone, and she was feeling rather good, there was no reason not to slide in a barb – especially that Misato was still all smug about the events.
Misato gave her an amused look: "Well, now you're going to learn the fun parts of married life: strange socks everywhere, things you left in known places moving on their own, toilet seat left up-"
"Oi, darling", up-to-now sleeping Kaji interceded. "That one is a slander, I never leave the lid up!"
"Yes, but I do. And you complain about it. Keep sleeping, you have the least to worry here", she grinned, he smiled back and returned to his slumber.
Asuka rolled her eyes at the exchange. "Misato, I have been living with them for a few years already. Really, I know it, socks, toilet seat, hair in the shower – mostly mine, I admit – and more. Believe me, Shinji is perfect in handling those little nuisances. Well, maybe except things moving on their own, because he imposes his brand of order all the time."
Misato looked at Shinji with a little surprise in her eyes. "That you like to keep your place orderly, I know. But imposing anything does not sound like you."
He raised his eyebrow on that. Misato was not sure whether she saw him fighting down a smile, or was it just a figment of her imagination. "I would not call it imposing. I just like to know where things are."
"Well, by this you essentially trying to force them to keep their own order, or have their things ordered as you see fit", she elaborated. "Not that there is anything wrong with that – except I already had that experience, I could find nothing in my apartment for the first few weeks after you moved in – and I sympathise with the sufferers."
This time, it was Shinji's turn to roll his eyes. "Misato-san… I was astonished you were able to find anything before I moved in. One of greatest regrets of my life is not taking photos of that place before I cleaned it up; they would be a great counterargument against most of your friendly comments."
Misato and Asuka blinked in concert and looked on one another, while Shinji maintained his deadpan expression. Finally, Asuka spoke: "I'm not sure whether it's my influence changing you, or Rei's specific brand of humour rubbing on you. Could be either, but I am guessing it's me – you've been in my bed more often, after all."
Shinji smiled, and Misato stifled a giggle; for a moment, she was pondering whether she should not be scandalised by that comment. After short deliberation, she reminded herself that while she is still dealing with "her kids", her erstwhile charges are adults, and – since that fateful night two days ago – married. Massively married. 'Their life, their fun. I have my boy-toy and my life, let them have theirs.' Having reached that conclusion, she smiled, merely shaking her head at Asuka's usual brashness.
A silent giggle from behind had drawn their attention, making Asuka kneel on her seat and look back at Rei, who apparently woke sometime during the exchange and was listening in. Kaworu was still sleeping with his head in her lap, though, looking 'far cuter that it was legal in most prefectures', as Rei was fond of calling that appearance. "Do you wish to contest that claim, Rei? If you do, please share the scandalous details!", Asuka shot.
The bluenette shook her head and spoke in what passed for amused voice in her case: "No, I do not wish to contest that claim, my dear wife"; Asuka blinked on that statement, her head spinning a bit: 'it will take some time to get used to that', she thought. 'But I think I like it. Somehow.' She shook it off, knowing that this train of thought will surely return – but she had time to deal with that.
"I just sincerely hope this imbalance of bed-time will be amended in the light of recent events and our… bond. Of course, I do not wish nor dare to deprive you of your Shinji-time", Rei smiled softly. "Therefore, I am devising a plan of an arrangement that will satisfy us all. And I believe I already have one in mind." Her smile went from kind and soft to… mischievous? This confused Asuka. 'Is it even possible for her to plan mischief?', she pondered. 'She gets flirty, yes, but only when drunk, and we're still stone-sober.' "I shall share it with everyone once we are in more private environment", she finished with conviction.
"And what is stopping you from doing it now?", Asuka asked before thinking.
"Public decency law", Rei replied with her usual deadpan.
Asuka could only groan and sink to her seat. 'Well, things have changed. Shinji is growing a spine. Rei is plotting – and I guess showing a side of herself I never thought she had… I wonder what surprise will Kaworu spring.', she mused with a sigh.
'And I did this to myself. Me. I told them I love them and want to have them all – forever. Gott, I guess my art of self-sabotage has reached another peak, tie myself down like that… Well, this time the advantages outweigh the drama', Asuka concluded with a smile.
'I hope', her smile dimmed a bit. 'What if…'
She looked at sleeping Shinji's face; he was at peace. Nuzzling against his side suddenly seemed to be a good option. 'No. Enough. I will worry about future tomorrow', she thought while adjusting her body pillow to her comfort. Soon, she fell into best sleep she could muster under these conditions.
***
Shinji was woken by numbness in his arm. Quick look to his right confirmed the leading hypothesis – Asuka was clinging to it, fast asleep. She looked so relaxed and happy, he would rather gnaw the arm off than wake her up… and it seemed a reasonable option, for she was clinging to it so hard, that he suspected that massive loss of circulation had already occurred. So, it was either wake Asuka, or lose an arm.
This was not an easy decision. But it was one he had to make fast. Otherwise, by the time of landing, he would not have that appendage.
"Schatz", he whispered softly, moving his arm by a millimeter. Sleepy murmur was the only answer. "Asuka…", he pleaded a bit louder, caressing her back with the operational hand. This time, her reaction, while not really vocal, was a little bit more pronounced – she did shift her grip, which apparently unblocked some blood vessel, sending a wave of needles thorough the numb body part. He clenched and released his fist, trying to shake off the feeling. 'Well, it is a temporary solution, but it has to do', he thought, watching his lover – no, wife – closer.
Wife. A word that sounded so strange to him. A word he always knew now sounded… different. That word was never personal, never truly meaningful. A simple noun, a family relation that had nothing to do with him.
Now, that word had a face. No – faces. Eep.
'I guess this is something that will take some more getting used to than I thought', he mused again. He looked across his shoulder, between the seats. Rei was awake, but absent – she was staring out of the window and caressing Kaworu's head. She was smiling one of her soft smiles; Shinji could only wonder what thoughts caused it.
She and Asuka could not be more different in range of expression – Rei, while exactly as capable of emotion and feeling as Asuka, was one of hardest people to read; on the other hand, her feelings, once made clear, could be felt through her persistent actions: in hindsight, her long-present love and devotion was clear. Asuka, on the other hand, wore her emotions on her sleeve – and everywhere else, too – but was bad at expressing feelings. After all, it took her half a decade of mixed signals before she managed to spit it all out – and propose. Of course, when she did, she did it as everything else she thought worth doing – in an epic-proportion, grand way. He giggled at that vision: the grandeur of the speech, the facial expressions of them all, Asuka's eyes shining bright when they all accepted… that was an image to cherish. He would love to have his own memories of this, not just the recording. 'Maybe they will come back. With all what happened there, another miracle would not be a surprise', he thought wishfully before returning to his reflections on emotional ranges.
Kaworu was somewhere in the middle on scale of expressing emotions. He was more expressive than Rei – but far more soft-spoken than Asuka. Before all, he was curious. Adventurous, even.
Kaworu. A husband. His husband. Eep.
That was quite another nut to crack.
Shinji had no problem with relationships and intimacy with men – at least since the possibility entered his mind and he gave it good thought. On the other hand, he did not find men other than Kaworu attractive… which brought his train of mind back on the boy – no, a man – whose head was now resting on Rei's lap, smiling to his dreams.
'How it will look like now?', he mused. 'All the sex we had was in presence of Asuka and Rei… well, most of it', he blushed at the memories and was suddenly glad Asuka's head was not in his lap. 'I wonder how "marital duties" Asuka threatened me – us – with will differ from her perception of "boyfriend duties"', he pondered, smiling again. 'Kaworu… what are we now?'
It was not the first time Shinji asked himself that question. His thoughts went back to the time when he was lost and confused – again.
***
Three months ago
It was soon after another of the usual break-ups. He and Asuka had a fight; he could not even recall over what it was, even those few days later. Quite possibly the trigger was trivial and meaningless, and the argument simply occurred because some tension had built up. Predictably, the fight ended up with Asuka's "We're done! Idiot!", followed by her storming out of the room and refusing to talk to him. And relegating him to the old room of his, as well – by now he was so used to that that he kept a futon ready for that occasion.
Three days later, still ignoring him, she went out for a date with some random guy. Rei was away on one of her research excursions, and Kaworu was nowhere to be seen – he tended to forget to tell anyone where he was going to half the time. Shinji was alone, without a living creature to keep him company; due to their erratic work schedules and lack of consensus on what should it be, they never had agreed on any pet.
He sat in the balcony's doorway; the cup of tea he made for himself in a vain attempt to lift his mood stood there, ignored from the beginning. Shinji adjusted his position, felt a momentary resistance to his hand, and next thing he saw was the cup keeling over, losing its handle and spilling its already cold content on the whole balcony.
'Great', he thought, 'I can't even move without breaking simple things, let alone vital parts of my life'. He sighed and went for a rag to clean up the mess. 'At least the floor will be cleaner. I guess this is a plus.'
Having done the cleaning without much thought given to it, he returned to his spot in the doorway. The moon was rising. Its red tint reset his train of thoughts to Asuka – her angry face, her red hair floating freely and surrounding her like a battle aura of a mythical Fury…
He blinked several times, trying his best not to release tears. It was, of course, futile. 'I guess I'm not as strong as Asuka. She never cries… except from happiness', he thought. He closed his eyes tight and threw his head against the doorframe. Tears flowed slowly; he ignored them, listening to the wind and letting the images of angry Asuka roll before his eyes.
Shinji jumped and snapped his eyes open when he suddenly felt a touch. A familiar face of Kaworu, washed in lunar light, was looking at him with concern, his palm resting on his shoulder and feeling so warm…
Shinji wanted to say something, but found himself struggling to get out words. Kaworu just smiled and placed a finger on Shinji's lips. In total silence, disrupted only by the sound of their breathing, he sat himself next to Shinji, his warm hand still in place. He moved it only to gently pull Shinji to himself. Startled at first, Shinji turned his head…
… and found himself staring into the red eyes, smile and warmth in them. Kaworu moved his lips in an inaudible whisper: "come to me." Shinji obeyed without thinking; realising that, he hesitated for a short moment, but his mind gave him no good reason not to submit. He found himself in warm embrace – only then realising how cold he was until now – and rested his head on Kaworu's chest. A moment later, Shinji felt a soft kiss on the top of his head.
No words were spoken, but suddenly, he felt less lonely.
It was the strangest comfort. But it was comfort, and in the end, it was all that mattered.
***
Present
'I suppose that was the night', Shinji thought wistfully. 'The night it clicked: friend, friend with party benefits, lover… it all somehow fit. Of course, I missed that, and I almost lost it. I was so confused then, too focused on Asuka to act on it.' He sighed. 'As if I am less confused now; well, at least we're all in the open now. This should help communication.'
Things will change – of this Shinji was certain. But for the first time in years, he was not that afraid of the coming change.
Four of us - part 1.
Tale of settling in
The flight to Japan from the eventful – and fateful – time in Las Vegas was filled with mix of residual excitement from the emotional overload they have been subjected to, worry about legitimisation on part of the newlywed quartet, thoughts on how to present the situation to their families from Hikari and Touji, and smug smiles on Misato's and Kaji part – that sometimes escalated into giggling, as Misato was clearly recalling some funnier part of their trip.
"Good to see that someone is not worried about anything," Asuka growled. While the worst of the hangover was long gone, and she was feeling rather good, there was no reason not to slide in a barb – especially that Misato was still all smug about the events.
Misato gave her an amused look: "Well, now you're going to learn the fun parts of married life: strange socks everywhere, things you left in known places moving on their own, toilet seat left up-"
"Oi, darling", up-to-now sleeping Kaji interceded. "That one is a slander, I never leave the lid up!"
"Yes, but I do. And you complain about it. Keep sleeping, you have the least to worry here", she grinned, he smiled back and returned to his slumber.
Asuka rolled her eyes at the exchange. "Misato, I have been living with them for a few years already. Really, I know it, socks, toilet seat, hair in the shower – mostly mine, I admit – and more. Believe me, Shinji is perfect in handling those little nuisances. Well, maybe except things moving on their own, because he imposes his brand of order all the time."
Misato looked at Shinji with a little surprise in her eyes. "That you like to keep your place orderly, I know. But imposing anything does not sound like you."
He raised his eyebrow on that. Misato was not sure whether she saw him fighting down a smile, or was it just a figment of her imagination. "I would not call it imposing. I just like to know where things are."
"Well, by this you essentially trying to force them to keep their own order, or have their things ordered as you see fit", she elaborated. "Not that there is anything wrong with that – except I already had that experience, I could find nothing in my apartment for the first few weeks after you moved in – and I sympathise with the sufferers."
This time, it was Shinji's turn to roll his eyes. "Misato-san… I was astonished you were able to find anything before I moved in. One of greatest regrets of my life is not taking photos of that place before I cleaned it up; they would be a great counterargument against most of your friendly comments."
Misato and Asuka blinked in concert and looked on one another, while Shinji maintained his deadpan expression. Finally, Asuka spoke: "I'm not sure whether it's my influence changing you, or Rei's specific brand of humour rubbing on you. Could be either, but I am guessing it's me – you've been in my bed more often, after all."
Shinji smiled, and Misato stifled a giggle; for a moment, she was pondering whether she should not be scandalised by that comment. After short deliberation, she reminded herself that while she is still dealing with "her kids", her erstwhile charges are adults, and – since that fateful night two days ago – married. Massively married. 'Their life, their fun. I have my boy-toy and my life, let them have theirs.' Having reached that conclusion, she smiled, merely shaking her head at Asuka's usual brashness.
A silent giggle from behind had drawn their attention, making Asuka kneel on her seat and look back at Rei, who apparently woke sometime during the exchange and was listening in. Kaworu was still sleeping with his head in her lap, though, looking 'far cuter that it was legal in most prefectures', as Rei was fond of calling that appearance. "Do you wish to contest that claim, Rei? If you do, please share the scandalous details!", Asuka shot.
The bluenette shook her head and spoke in what passed for amused voice in her case: "No, I do not wish to contest that claim, my dear wife"; Asuka blinked on that statement, her head spinning a bit: 'it will take some time to get used to that', she thought. 'But I think I like it. Somehow.' She shook it off, knowing that this train of thought will surely return – but she had time to deal with that.
"I just sincerely hope this imbalance of bed-time will be amended in the light of recent events and our… bond. Of course, I do not wish nor dare to deprive you of your Shinji-time", Rei smiled softly. "Therefore, I am devising a plan of an arrangement that will satisfy us all. And I believe I already have one in mind." Her smile went from kind and soft to… mischievous? This confused Asuka. 'Is it even possible for her to plan mischief?', she pondered. 'She gets flirty, yes, but only when drunk, and we're still stone-sober.' "I shall share it with everyone once we are in more private environment", she finished with conviction.
"And what is stopping you from doing it now?", Asuka asked before thinking.
"Public decency law", Rei replied with her usual deadpan.
Asuka could only groan and sink to her seat. 'Well, things have changed. Shinji is growing a spine. Rei is plotting – and I guess showing a side of herself I never thought she had… I wonder what surprise will Kaworu spring.', she mused with a sigh.
'And I did this to myself. Me. I told them I love them and want to have them all – forever. Gott, I guess my art of self-sabotage has reached another peak, tie myself down like that… Well, this time the advantages outweigh the drama', Asuka concluded with a smile.
'I hope', her smile dimmed a bit. 'What if…'
She looked at sleeping Shinji's face; he was at peace. Nuzzling against his side suddenly seemed to be a good option. 'No. Enough. I will worry about future tomorrow', she thought while adjusting her body pillow to her comfort. Soon, she fell into best sleep she could muster under these conditions.
***
Shinji was woken by numbness in his arm. Quick look to his right confirmed the leading hypothesis – Asuka was clinging to it, fast asleep. She looked so relaxed and happy, he would rather gnaw the arm off than wake her up… and it seemed a reasonable option, for she was clinging to it so hard, that he suspected that massive loss of circulation had already occurred. So, it was either wake Asuka, or lose an arm.
This was not an easy decision. But it was one he had to make fast. Otherwise, by the time of landing, he would not have that appendage.
"Schatz", he whispered softly, moving his arm by a millimeter. Sleepy murmur was the only answer. "Asuka…", he pleaded a bit louder, caressing her back with the operational hand. This time, her reaction, while not really vocal, was a little bit more pronounced – she did shift her grip, which apparently unblocked some blood vessel, sending a wave of needles thorough the numb body part. He clenched and released his fist, trying to shake off the feeling. 'Well, it is a temporary solution, but it has to do', he thought, watching his lover – no, wife – closer.
Wife. A word that sounded so strange to him. A word he always knew now sounded… different. That word was never personal, never truly meaningful. A simple noun, a family relation that had nothing to do with him.
Now, that word had a face. No – faces. Eep.
'I guess this is something that will take some more getting used to than I thought', he mused again. He looked across his shoulder, between the seats. Rei was awake, but absent – she was staring out of the window and caressing Kaworu's head. She was smiling one of her soft smiles; Shinji could only wonder what thoughts caused it.
She and Asuka could not be more different in range of expression – Rei, while exactly as capable of emotion and feeling as Asuka, was one of hardest people to read; on the other hand, her feelings, once made clear, could be felt through her persistent actions: in hindsight, her long-present love and devotion was clear. Asuka, on the other hand, wore her emotions on her sleeve – and everywhere else, too – but was bad at expressing feelings. After all, it took her half a decade of mixed signals before she managed to spit it all out – and propose. Of course, when she did, she did it as everything else she thought worth doing – in an epic-proportion, grand way. He giggled at that vision: the grandeur of the speech, the facial expressions of them all, Asuka's eyes shining bright when they all accepted… that was an image to cherish. He would love to have his own memories of this, not just the recording. 'Maybe they will come back. With all what happened there, another miracle would not be a surprise', he thought wishfully before returning to his reflections on emotional ranges.
Kaworu was somewhere in the middle on scale of expressing emotions. He was more expressive than Rei – but far more soft-spoken than Asuka. Before all, he was curious. Adventurous, even.
Kaworu. A husband. His husband. Eep.
That was quite another nut to crack.
Shinji had no problem with relationships and intimacy with men – at least since the possibility entered his mind and he gave it good thought. On the other hand, he did not find men other than Kaworu attractive… which brought his train of mind back on the boy – no, a man – whose head was now resting on Rei's lap, smiling to his dreams.
'How it will look like now?', he mused. 'All the sex we had was in presence of Asuka and Rei… well, most of it', he blushed at the memories and was suddenly glad Asuka's head was not in his lap. 'I wonder how "marital duties" Asuka threatened me – us – with will differ from her perception of "boyfriend duties"', he pondered, smiling again. 'Kaworu… what are we now?'
It was not the first time Shinji asked himself that question. His thoughts went back to the time when he was lost and confused – again.
***
Three months ago
It was soon after another of the usual break-ups. He and Asuka had a fight; he could not even recall over what it was, even those few days later. Quite possibly the trigger was trivial and meaningless, and the argument simply occurred because some tension had built up. Predictably, the fight ended up with Asuka's "We're done! Idiot!", followed by her storming out of the room and refusing to talk to him. And relegating him to the old room of his, as well – by now he was so used to that that he kept a futon ready for that occasion.
Three days later, still ignoring him, she went out for a date with some random guy. Rei was away on one of her research excursions, and Kaworu was nowhere to be seen – he tended to forget to tell anyone where he was going to half the time. Shinji was alone, without a living creature to keep him company; due to their erratic work schedules and lack of consensus on what should it be, they never had agreed on any pet.
He sat in the balcony's doorway; the cup of tea he made for himself in a vain attempt to lift his mood stood there, ignored from the beginning. Shinji adjusted his position, felt a momentary resistance to his hand, and next thing he saw was the cup keeling over, losing its handle and spilling its already cold content on the whole balcony.
'Great', he thought, 'I can't even move without breaking simple things, let alone vital parts of my life'. He sighed and went for a rag to clean up the mess. 'At least the floor will be cleaner. I guess this is a plus.'
Having done the cleaning without much thought given to it, he returned to his spot in the doorway. The moon was rising. Its red tint reset his train of thoughts to Asuka – her angry face, her red hair floating freely and surrounding her like a battle aura of a mythical Fury…
He blinked several times, trying his best not to release tears. It was, of course, futile. 'I guess I'm not as strong as Asuka. She never cries… except from happiness', he thought. He closed his eyes tight and threw his head against the doorframe. Tears flowed slowly; he ignored them, listening to the wind and letting the images of angry Asuka roll before his eyes.
Shinji jumped and snapped his eyes open when he suddenly felt a touch. A familiar face of Kaworu, washed in lunar light, was looking at him with concern, his palm resting on his shoulder and feeling so warm…
Shinji wanted to say something, but found himself struggling to get out words. Kaworu just smiled and placed a finger on Shinji's lips. In total silence, disrupted only by the sound of their breathing, he sat himself next to Shinji, his warm hand still in place. He moved it only to gently pull Shinji to himself. Startled at first, Shinji turned his head…
… and found himself staring into the red eyes, smile and warmth in them. Kaworu moved his lips in an inaudible whisper: "come to me." Shinji obeyed without thinking; realising that, he hesitated for a short moment, but his mind gave him no good reason not to submit. He found himself in warm embrace – only then realising how cold he was until now – and rested his head on Kaworu's chest. A moment later, Shinji felt a soft kiss on the top of his head.
No words were spoken, but suddenly, he felt less lonely.
It was the strangest comfort. But it was comfort, and in the end, it was all that mattered.
***
Present
'I suppose that was the night', Shinji thought wistfully. 'The night it clicked: friend, friend with party benefits, lover… it all somehow fit. Of course, I missed that, and I almost lost it. I was so confused then, too focused on Asuka to act on it.' He sighed. 'As if I am less confused now; well, at least we're all in the open now. This should help communication.'
Things will change – of this Shinji was certain. But for the first time in years, he was not that afraid of the coming change.
FlyingScanian
Tea Addict
- Location
- Land of Eternal Night
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I really want to make a joke about this, but it would 1) be inappropriate to the mood, and 2) naughty
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Awww... hugs.
And I see Rei already has ideas.
Working on update now. I've got an hour until local midnight!
Number6
Unrepentant Like Addict
- Location
- The Village, Scotland
Awww... hugs.
And I see Rei already has ideas.
Working on update now. I've got an hour until local midnight!
No pressure or anything.
Chapter 11.1
- Location
- National Capital Region, USA
Well... that was interesting. I stopped writing the update just before midnight here in Baghdad so I could go see outside and spend the stroke of midnight on the phone with LilithPrime. And I'm glad I did.
The entire horizon of Baghdad was lit up in fireworks, for a good 20 minutes straight, before and after midnight. A constant stream of sparkles and booms. It was the most amazing thing I've seen all year.
Take a look:
How about a final update of 2017 and an official start to Chapter 11? Sound good?
Art!
Chapter 11.1
Cards On The Table
+++
Kaworu clamped his hands over his eyes and pressed until it started to hurt. "No no no no no no no you can't you can't you can't don't don't don't don't," he desperately chanted to himself. "She comes back, she comes back, she comes back, you know she comes back, she has to come back, please please please..." His chest heaved as his breathing accelerated towards panic. There was blood in his mouth, over and above the usual tang of the LCL.
'You can see her again right now. You know what you were born to do. You know what feels so right...' the Call was whispering shouting screaming in his head right now. 'The pain would end forever...'
Unit-03 slowly turned towards the Geofront and the Eva catapult access point.
+++
"Fuyutsuki, take care of the rest."
"Unn."
+++
"P...Pilots, return to the elevators. Doctor Akagi's teams will... will carry out recovery and Search & Rescue for the First Child," Misato said through a dry throat. "There's... nothing more we can do right now. Return to base."
Behind her, Ritsuko had already tapped Maya on the shoulder and the two had begun heading for the exit of Central Dogma. Maya's relief slid right into her spot and kept the feeds on the remaining three Evas running.
Misato tensed, waiting for any additional instructions from the Commander to interrupt things. When none came, she turned to look up and back at the Commander's perch.
It was empty, Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki standing there watching. Commander Ikari was already gone.
Misato felt a chill run down her spine. 'What is he up to?'
+++
Shinji stared blankly at the molten crater that had been a green valley northeast of Tokyo-3. His brain just... refused to engage. He wasn't seeing this. He couldn't be.
Misato's order didn't snap him back to reality. Unit-02's shove did. He staggered.
"Hey, wha-?"
"Come on, Third. You heard Misato. Doctor Fake-Blonde will recover the First and we're supposed to get moving," Asuka said in a tight growl.
"But... she... she's..." Shinji couldn't make himself say it. Saying it would make it real.
"No she isn't!" Asuka almost snarled at him. "She is not dead!" Unit-02 spun around, glaring back at him, fists clenched and shaking at its sides despite the ragged, bleeding wounds that still showed all over its armor. "So don't you dare say it! She ejected or something! They'll find her and she'll be alright!"
Shinji wanted to believe that. More than anything. But they'd all seen Unit-00, right up to the end. It had been on its back. There was no place for her to have ejected to, and they'd all heard her say she could not. He sadly shifted his gaze to Unit-03. "Kaworu?"
His friend did not turn or reply. Unit-03 kept walking towards the closest elevator.
+++
'Do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it,' Tabris chanted.
'No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no...' Kaworu desperately fought back.
He could feel his teeth creak as he clenched his jaw. His hands gripped the control yokes so hard the material of his plugsuit had stopped squeaking. It was getting harder to think at all.
'I apologize, ma'am,' he thought for a moment at Unit-03's Core. 'I... may.... may not be able to... stop myself from.... doing something terrible soon.'
Confused, Mrs. Hanako Horaki replied, 'I... don't understand. Why?'
'I... may not... be myself.' He swallowed. 'I... my heart... isn't strong enough. I can't... I can't... If Rei is gone, I'm... I'm not strong enough without her. I'll... destroy everything.'
'You asked me to help because you wanted to help your friends. You won't do anything to hurt us, right?'
'I won't... but he will.'
'You're the same person who got in this Evangelion thirty minutes ago, Nagisa-san.'
'Am I?'
'You said you would not let anything harm them as long as you had a choice. Is that not still true?'
'Rei told me that...' Kaworu looked down at his right hand. He forced himself to let go of the control yoke and make a fist. "I choose," he whispered. "I choose."
+++
Shinji numbly trudged into the locker room. Only long habit kept his feet automatically walking him towards the showers and lockers. He stared at nothing as he undressed without thought and dropped his LCL-coated plugsuit into the slot in the wall for it to be taken away and cleaned. He barely remembered to grab his towel before wandering into the showers.
'She can't be gone. She can't be gone. But... I saw... Unit-00...'
He was already there before a couple of things registered as more than background: The showers were already running, and they were set at an extremely high temperature. The thick clouds of steam nearly blinded him as he stumbled forward. He hissed as his foot touched the water on the tiles. It was hot enough it hurt to step in, almost hot enough to scald his skin at touch. He edged his way around the full-blast stream from the showerheads and carefully turned the temperature way down.
As the temperature dropped, the steam lightened enough for him to see Kaworu, curled into a fetal ball on the floor, the stream blasting right onto him. His skin was very red.
Shinji's eyes snapped wide. "Kaworu!" He grabbed Kaworu's hand and started to pull him out of the stream. "Are you alright?"
Kaworu looked up at him with frantic eyes. "T-t-turn the water back up!"
"What? No!" Shinji gasped. "That water was almost hot enough to scald! You could have been hurt!"
"Yes! Please! I need the pain!"
"What?!"
"It it it it anchors me!" Kaworu stuttered. "I n-n-need the f-f-feeling right now! The pain reminds me who I am! I'm ME! Not him! Not him!"
"I... I don't understand, Kaworu-kun," Shinji shook his head, "But I'm... I'm not going to let you hurt yourself like this. Come... come on. Let's... get you out of here and-"
"Yes! Please!" Kaworu seized his hand with desperate strength. "Get me away from here! Th-th-th-the C-c-call is bad right now! I... I d-d-d-don't know how l-l-long I can hold..."
Shinji felt a chill run down his back at the way Kaworu pleaded with him. "Ok... Ok... come on...we'll...we'll get you home and into bed..."
He set Kaworu gently on one of the benches near the lockers and winced at the alarming red shade of his skin. He took as fast a shower as possible, little more than a rinse, and then gingerly prodded Kaworu through getting dried and dressed.
Asuka was already waiting for them at the door as they left the locker room. She seized Shinji's hand like a life preserver before she even noticed Shinji had his other arm around Kaworu's shaking shoulders. She barely nodded at this, however, and they headed straight for the elevators.
Once in the elevator, Kaworu slumped weakly in the corner, arms wrapped around himself and mumbling. Shinji stared at Kaworu, worried. He fished his cell phone out of his pocket, absently grateful the MAGI could pick it up even in an elevator, so long as they were in the Geofront.
Misato picked up almost instantly. "What is it, Shinji? I don't have much time."
"I know, Misato-san. That's why I'm calling to tell you not to worry about us... three. we're headed home right away. Kaworu's... not well. We'll wait for you there. A-and Rei."
Misato was quiet for long enough to make Shinji's heart sicken a little more with fear. "...right. Good. I'll... see you at home." Click.
Shinji tried to swallow the sick feeling at the pit of his stomach.
"She's not dead. She's not dead," Asuka almost hissed beside him. Her hand was very tight on his.
The elevator ride felt very, very long.
+++
Kaworu visibly slumped in relief as the Geofront train passed through the last armor layer and approached the surface. Shinji watched him, concerned, from the seat across the train car's aisle.
After a moment, Kaworu pried his eyes open and gave them a wan smile. "It... distance is good. It is... bad right now." He blinked at them, but stared, like he was trying to drink them in.
Shinji shifted awkwardly in his seat. Asuka was firmly welded to his side, her hand never having left his. Kaworu staring at them like this made him self-conscious about such a public display of affection, something his Japanese upbringing still gave him twinges about. Still, even that awkwardness was tiny next to Asuka's naked need for contact right now. The strange thing was he felt like Kaworu's stare was almost the same thing. He was watching them like... like seeing them together was his only solace right now.
Kaworu's comment snapped Asuka out of her rigid silence. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Distance? Why... Kaworu, what the-"
She broke off in frustration as Kaworu gave a tiny shake of his head and flicked his eyes at the ceiling.
Shinji bit down on his own questions. Why had Kaworu-kun been so insistent on... hurting himself? And what he'd said?
He just pulled Asuka closer to him with his free arm and tried to... stay numb. He was faintly grateful for the hollow, empty feeling that had descended over him. He... he couldn't cry. He had to... be strong. Asuka needed him to. Kaworu needed him to. Rei... Asuka had to be right. Rei was going to come home.
He squeezed Asuka's hand back just as hard as she held his.
+++
"Is there really... any chance, Akagi-sempai?" Maya said quietly, her voice somewhat muffled by the thick, stiflingly hot NERV Bio-protection suit.
Ritsuko couldn't reply. She just pointed ahead of them. One of the search crews was waving them over. The wreck of the Entry Plug was just behind him, partly stuck in a rocky former creek bed flanked by the shattered and burned remnants of a grove of trees.
The smooth white cylinder of the Entry Plug was now a bent, dented mess, scorched an ugly brown-red. The Pilot Access Hatch was a jagged tear, spines of metal jutting from the edges of the hole. Ritsuko looked around, waving the three guards who'd found the Plug to stay back. No one had questioned her insistence she be the first one to examine the Pilot... or her remains. Only Maya hovered near, just behind her shoulder.
Whispering a faint prayer to a god she no longer even pretended to believe in, Ritsuko stuck her head inside the ragged tear in the Plug.
"Is... is she..." Maya began.
"No."
Maya managed to cover most of her sob with a cough.
Ritsuko pulled her head back out. She turned to yell at the guard. "Get me a stretcher over here, immediately!"
The guard nodded, waving at a clump of other NERV personnel farther up the slope. A moment later, a pair of them trotted over with the rescue-orange hard plastic stretcher between them.
Ritsuko and Maya had used the moment to pull what was left of the First Child out of the Entry Plug and zip her into a NERV Bio-containment bag. Maya pretended to apply some first aid as the guards put the stretcher down, and zipped the bag closed when they were ready to take her.
"The First Child's condition will be classified Top Secret," Ritsuko ordered. "Only Lieutenant Ibuki and I are allowed to treat her. Lieutenant, get her down to my lab immediately. Sergeant Nakamori, salvage the Entry Plug and clean up the site."
"Yes, Doctor."
+++
Shinji gingerly shepherded Asuka and Kaworu into Rei's apartment. He seemed to be the only one who had even the tiny amount of energy to get them moving at all. He'd been about to steer them into Misato's when Kaworu had shaken his head and gestured next door.
Once through the door, Kaworu pulled away from Shinji's arm and stumbled to where they'd left their instrument cases in Rei's living room, anticipating another evening of playing in quartet. He flipped his violin case open and almost frantically dug around inside it for something. He gasped in relief and rose when he found it.
Shinji pulled out tea and started the hot water pot as Asuka sat down at the kitchen table. She looked at Kaworu as he shuffled back in and dropped heavily into the chair across from her, the object of his search clutched in his hand: a candid shot of Rei at the Christmas Party, serene and beautiful in her red and white Santa outfit.
"She.... she asked me out. In the elevator, before the battle. T-to see a movie this Friday," Kaworu said softly, staring at the picture. "Me. She... she likes... me."
"She did?" Asuka asked, finally showing a spark of life. "Finally. Good. You'll love it, Trout. Both of you."
"Asuka..." Shinji said gently, sitting down next to her as he set the tea to steep.
"She's alive, Shinji!" Asuka insisted, turning to him. "She has to be! Because if... if Rei can... If Rei can die, then you can... I... I can't... you can't die." She stopped, swallowing hard. She suddenly pulled him into a desperate hug, her hands nearly clawing at his back.
"She has to be alright," she whispered into his shoulder, which was suddenly wet. "I... you can't die. She can't. I... I can't bear the idea you... I love her too and... and..."
He clutched at her back almost as hard. "She... she has to be," he agreed, scarcely louder than her.
Asuka wiped her face against his shoulder. "How come... you're not... I know you love her too."
He shook his head. "I... I don't know. I just feel... numb. I know I feel... empty, but the tears won't come. And... you need me to be... strong. You and Kaworu-kun. So I have to be."
She squeezed him tighter. "Baka."
He looked up at Kaworu. "Why... Kaworu-kun, why were you... hurting yourself? In the shower?"
Kaworu put the picture down on the table, but kept staring at it. "The pain... helps. Distracts me from the Call. It was... very bad. It still is. If we'd stayed in the Geofront, I'm... I'm not sure I... could have held on." He raised his head, finally. "Thank you for... getting me out of there, Shinji-kun. And... for you both... helping remind me what I must protect."
Asuka gave Shinji one last squeeze and sat back in her chair. "Pain to... and what does distance have to do with it? You relaxed exactly when we left the Geofront. Was zur Hölle did they do to you, Nagisa? To both of you! Pale as death, red eyes, funny hair... you and Rei are alike in too many ways to be coincidence," she demanded.
"I... I can't..." Kaworu looked down and to the side. "I'm... afraid. And... Rei wants us to tell you together."
"You... you sound very sure about that," Shinji half-asked.
Kaworu nodded. "I am." The expression on his face was far from happy, though. He picked up the picture again, his hands shaking. "She... has to."
+++
She opened her eyes. The man in the black jacket and orange glasses stared at her. He ordered her to stand. "You are Rei Ayanami. You will obey my orders," he said, voice cold and flat.
"I am Rei Ayanami. I will obey your orders," she echoed without thought.
He nodded.
+++
A/N: And we're back online, everyone. Let's see if I can get back to a regular schedule.
The entire horizon of Baghdad was lit up in fireworks, for a good 20 minutes straight, before and after midnight. A constant stream of sparkles and booms. It was the most amazing thing I've seen all year.
Take a look:
Art!
Chapter 11.1
Cards On The Table
+++
Kaworu clamped his hands over his eyes and pressed until it started to hurt. "No no no no no no no you can't you can't you can't don't don't don't don't," he desperately chanted to himself. "She comes back, she comes back, she comes back, you know she comes back, she has to come back, please please please..." His chest heaved as his breathing accelerated towards panic. There was blood in his mouth, over and above the usual tang of the LCL.
'You can see her again right now. You know what you were born to do. You know what feels so right...' the Call was whispering shouting screaming in his head right now. 'The pain would end forever...'
Unit-03 slowly turned towards the Geofront and the Eva catapult access point.
+++
"Fuyutsuki, take care of the rest."
"Unn."
+++
"P...Pilots, return to the elevators. Doctor Akagi's teams will... will carry out recovery and Search & Rescue for the First Child," Misato said through a dry throat. "There's... nothing more we can do right now. Return to base."
Behind her, Ritsuko had already tapped Maya on the shoulder and the two had begun heading for the exit of Central Dogma. Maya's relief slid right into her spot and kept the feeds on the remaining three Evas running.
Misato tensed, waiting for any additional instructions from the Commander to interrupt things. When none came, she turned to look up and back at the Commander's perch.
It was empty, Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki standing there watching. Commander Ikari was already gone.
Misato felt a chill run down her spine. 'What is he up to?'
+++
Shinji stared blankly at the molten crater that had been a green valley northeast of Tokyo-3. His brain just... refused to engage. He wasn't seeing this. He couldn't be.
Misato's order didn't snap him back to reality. Unit-02's shove did. He staggered.
"Hey, wha-?"
"Come on, Third. You heard Misato. Doctor Fake-Blonde will recover the First and we're supposed to get moving," Asuka said in a tight growl.
"But... she... she's..." Shinji couldn't make himself say it. Saying it would make it real.
"No she isn't!" Asuka almost snarled at him. "She is not dead!" Unit-02 spun around, glaring back at him, fists clenched and shaking at its sides despite the ragged, bleeding wounds that still showed all over its armor. "So don't you dare say it! She ejected or something! They'll find her and she'll be alright!"
Shinji wanted to believe that. More than anything. But they'd all seen Unit-00, right up to the end. It had been on its back. There was no place for her to have ejected to, and they'd all heard her say she could not. He sadly shifted his gaze to Unit-03. "Kaworu?"
His friend did not turn or reply. Unit-03 kept walking towards the closest elevator.
+++
'Do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it,' Tabris chanted.
'No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no...' Kaworu desperately fought back.
He could feel his teeth creak as he clenched his jaw. His hands gripped the control yokes so hard the material of his plugsuit had stopped squeaking. It was getting harder to think at all.
'I apologize, ma'am,' he thought for a moment at Unit-03's Core. 'I... may.... may not be able to... stop myself from.... doing something terrible soon.'
Confused, Mrs. Hanako Horaki replied, 'I... don't understand. Why?'
'I... may not... be myself.' He swallowed. 'I... my heart... isn't strong enough. I can't... I can't... If Rei is gone, I'm... I'm not strong enough without her. I'll... destroy everything.'
'You asked me to help because you wanted to help your friends. You won't do anything to hurt us, right?'
'I won't... but he will.'
'You're the same person who got in this Evangelion thirty minutes ago, Nagisa-san.'
'Am I?'
'You said you would not let anything harm them as long as you had a choice. Is that not still true?'
'Rei told me that...' Kaworu looked down at his right hand. He forced himself to let go of the control yoke and make a fist. "I choose," he whispered. "I choose."
+++
Shinji numbly trudged into the locker room. Only long habit kept his feet automatically walking him towards the showers and lockers. He stared at nothing as he undressed without thought and dropped his LCL-coated plugsuit into the slot in the wall for it to be taken away and cleaned. He barely remembered to grab his towel before wandering into the showers.
'She can't be gone. She can't be gone. But... I saw... Unit-00...'
He was already there before a couple of things registered as more than background: The showers were already running, and they were set at an extremely high temperature. The thick clouds of steam nearly blinded him as he stumbled forward. He hissed as his foot touched the water on the tiles. It was hot enough it hurt to step in, almost hot enough to scald his skin at touch. He edged his way around the full-blast stream from the showerheads and carefully turned the temperature way down.
As the temperature dropped, the steam lightened enough for him to see Kaworu, curled into a fetal ball on the floor, the stream blasting right onto him. His skin was very red.
Shinji's eyes snapped wide. "Kaworu!" He grabbed Kaworu's hand and started to pull him out of the stream. "Are you alright?"
Kaworu looked up at him with frantic eyes. "T-t-turn the water back up!"
"What? No!" Shinji gasped. "That water was almost hot enough to scald! You could have been hurt!"
"Yes! Please! I need the pain!"
"What?!"
"It it it it anchors me!" Kaworu stuttered. "I n-n-need the f-f-feeling right now! The pain reminds me who I am! I'm ME! Not him! Not him!"
"I... I don't understand, Kaworu-kun," Shinji shook his head, "But I'm... I'm not going to let you hurt yourself like this. Come... come on. Let's... get you out of here and-"
"Yes! Please!" Kaworu seized his hand with desperate strength. "Get me away from here! Th-th-th-the C-c-call is bad right now! I... I d-d-d-don't know how l-l-long I can hold..."
Shinji felt a chill run down his back at the way Kaworu pleaded with him. "Ok... Ok... come on...we'll...we'll get you home and into bed..."
He set Kaworu gently on one of the benches near the lockers and winced at the alarming red shade of his skin. He took as fast a shower as possible, little more than a rinse, and then gingerly prodded Kaworu through getting dried and dressed.
Asuka was already waiting for them at the door as they left the locker room. She seized Shinji's hand like a life preserver before she even noticed Shinji had his other arm around Kaworu's shaking shoulders. She barely nodded at this, however, and they headed straight for the elevators.
Once in the elevator, Kaworu slumped weakly in the corner, arms wrapped around himself and mumbling. Shinji stared at Kaworu, worried. He fished his cell phone out of his pocket, absently grateful the MAGI could pick it up even in an elevator, so long as they were in the Geofront.
Misato picked up almost instantly. "What is it, Shinji? I don't have much time."
"I know, Misato-san. That's why I'm calling to tell you not to worry about us... three. we're headed home right away. Kaworu's... not well. We'll wait for you there. A-and Rei."
Misato was quiet for long enough to make Shinji's heart sicken a little more with fear. "...right. Good. I'll... see you at home." Click.
Shinji tried to swallow the sick feeling at the pit of his stomach.
"She's not dead. She's not dead," Asuka almost hissed beside him. Her hand was very tight on his.
The elevator ride felt very, very long.
+++
Kaworu visibly slumped in relief as the Geofront train passed through the last armor layer and approached the surface. Shinji watched him, concerned, from the seat across the train car's aisle.
After a moment, Kaworu pried his eyes open and gave them a wan smile. "It... distance is good. It is... bad right now." He blinked at them, but stared, like he was trying to drink them in.
Shinji shifted awkwardly in his seat. Asuka was firmly welded to his side, her hand never having left his. Kaworu staring at them like this made him self-conscious about such a public display of affection, something his Japanese upbringing still gave him twinges about. Still, even that awkwardness was tiny next to Asuka's naked need for contact right now. The strange thing was he felt like Kaworu's stare was almost the same thing. He was watching them like... like seeing them together was his only solace right now.
Kaworu's comment snapped Asuka out of her rigid silence. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Distance? Why... Kaworu, what the-"
She broke off in frustration as Kaworu gave a tiny shake of his head and flicked his eyes at the ceiling.
Shinji bit down on his own questions. Why had Kaworu-kun been so insistent on... hurting himself? And what he'd said?
He just pulled Asuka closer to him with his free arm and tried to... stay numb. He was faintly grateful for the hollow, empty feeling that had descended over him. He... he couldn't cry. He had to... be strong. Asuka needed him to. Kaworu needed him to. Rei... Asuka had to be right. Rei was going to come home.
He squeezed Asuka's hand back just as hard as she held his.
+++
"Is there really... any chance, Akagi-sempai?" Maya said quietly, her voice somewhat muffled by the thick, stiflingly hot NERV Bio-protection suit.
Ritsuko couldn't reply. She just pointed ahead of them. One of the search crews was waving them over. The wreck of the Entry Plug was just behind him, partly stuck in a rocky former creek bed flanked by the shattered and burned remnants of a grove of trees.
The smooth white cylinder of the Entry Plug was now a bent, dented mess, scorched an ugly brown-red. The Pilot Access Hatch was a jagged tear, spines of metal jutting from the edges of the hole. Ritsuko looked around, waving the three guards who'd found the Plug to stay back. No one had questioned her insistence she be the first one to examine the Pilot... or her remains. Only Maya hovered near, just behind her shoulder.
Whispering a faint prayer to a god she no longer even pretended to believe in, Ritsuko stuck her head inside the ragged tear in the Plug.
"Is... is she..." Maya began.
"No."
Maya managed to cover most of her sob with a cough.
Ritsuko pulled her head back out. She turned to yell at the guard. "Get me a stretcher over here, immediately!"
The guard nodded, waving at a clump of other NERV personnel farther up the slope. A moment later, a pair of them trotted over with the rescue-orange hard plastic stretcher between them.
Ritsuko and Maya had used the moment to pull what was left of the First Child out of the Entry Plug and zip her into a NERV Bio-containment bag. Maya pretended to apply some first aid as the guards put the stretcher down, and zipped the bag closed when they were ready to take her.
"The First Child's condition will be classified Top Secret," Ritsuko ordered. "Only Lieutenant Ibuki and I are allowed to treat her. Lieutenant, get her down to my lab immediately. Sergeant Nakamori, salvage the Entry Plug and clean up the site."
"Yes, Doctor."
+++
Shinji gingerly shepherded Asuka and Kaworu into Rei's apartment. He seemed to be the only one who had even the tiny amount of energy to get them moving at all. He'd been about to steer them into Misato's when Kaworu had shaken his head and gestured next door.
Once through the door, Kaworu pulled away from Shinji's arm and stumbled to where they'd left their instrument cases in Rei's living room, anticipating another evening of playing in quartet. He flipped his violin case open and almost frantically dug around inside it for something. He gasped in relief and rose when he found it.
Shinji pulled out tea and started the hot water pot as Asuka sat down at the kitchen table. She looked at Kaworu as he shuffled back in and dropped heavily into the chair across from her, the object of his search clutched in his hand: a candid shot of Rei at the Christmas Party, serene and beautiful in her red and white Santa outfit.
"She.... she asked me out. In the elevator, before the battle. T-to see a movie this Friday," Kaworu said softly, staring at the picture. "Me. She... she likes... me."
"She did?" Asuka asked, finally showing a spark of life. "Finally. Good. You'll love it, Trout. Both of you."
"Asuka..." Shinji said gently, sitting down next to her as he set the tea to steep.
"She's alive, Shinji!" Asuka insisted, turning to him. "She has to be! Because if... if Rei can... If Rei can die, then you can... I... I can't... you can't die." She stopped, swallowing hard. She suddenly pulled him into a desperate hug, her hands nearly clawing at his back.
"She has to be alright," she whispered into his shoulder, which was suddenly wet. "I... you can't die. She can't. I... I can't bear the idea you... I love her too and... and..."
He clutched at her back almost as hard. "She... she has to be," he agreed, scarcely louder than her.
Asuka wiped her face against his shoulder. "How come... you're not... I know you love her too."
He shook his head. "I... I don't know. I just feel... numb. I know I feel... empty, but the tears won't come. And... you need me to be... strong. You and Kaworu-kun. So I have to be."
She squeezed him tighter. "Baka."
He looked up at Kaworu. "Why... Kaworu-kun, why were you... hurting yourself? In the shower?"
Kaworu put the picture down on the table, but kept staring at it. "The pain... helps. Distracts me from the Call. It was... very bad. It still is. If we'd stayed in the Geofront, I'm... I'm not sure I... could have held on." He raised his head, finally. "Thank you for... getting me out of there, Shinji-kun. And... for you both... helping remind me what I must protect."
Asuka gave Shinji one last squeeze and sat back in her chair. "Pain to... and what does distance have to do with it? You relaxed exactly when we left the Geofront. Was zur Hölle did they do to you, Nagisa? To both of you! Pale as death, red eyes, funny hair... you and Rei are alike in too many ways to be coincidence," she demanded.
"I... I can't..." Kaworu looked down and to the side. "I'm... afraid. And... Rei wants us to tell you together."
"You... you sound very sure about that," Shinji half-asked.
Kaworu nodded. "I am." The expression on his face was far from happy, though. He picked up the picture again, his hands shaking. "She... has to."
+++
She opened her eyes. The man in the black jacket and orange glasses stared at her. He ordered her to stand. "You are Rei Ayanami. You will obey my orders," he said, voice cold and flat.
"I am Rei Ayanami. I will obey your orders," she echoed without thought.
He nodded.
+++
A/N: And we're back online, everyone. Let's see if I can get back to a regular schedule.
biodude711
Enterprise-chan!
Dun Dun DUUUUUN!!
Astray Spiral
Potential Evil Incarnate
- Location
- C:\Windows\explorer.exe
Whelp, if shit hasn't hit the fan (well, it has, several times now, but shush), it's certainly will real soon.
Will be waiting for the next update.
Will be waiting for the next update.
- Location
- The Midlands.
Huh. I thought you only had to play the good old game of "Fireworks or People Shooting At Me?" when you were at home...
Oh, this can go nowhere good...
YuffieK
(Verified Ninja Princess)
Well.... FUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously. Because of fact that Gendo had a spare clone separate from the rest that NOBODY else knew about. This wasn't about his paranoia about his version of Instrumentality. This was probably about his other predelictions.