I tried my hand at a horror movie that would be pretty subversive for the time (the mid to late 70's-early 80's) and…I'm pretty sure what I wrote is pretty fucked up.
It attempts to join the growing horror slasher trend of the 70's, that focussed on the outsider and challenged those who went against traditional values (ie the Hills Have Eyes), while also making a few jabs at the typical tropes of the horror genre. It also draws some inspiration from the same inspirations that inspired Alien (Alien was supposed to be a metaphor for sexual violence, attempting to instil the fear of it in men that was present for women).
Let me know if you guessed what was going to happen too easily, and what you think of my first dip into trying to write a horror pitch.
Horror Movie Pitch:
Deliver us to Evil
Five friends, Adam, Eve, Kaine, Joseph and Lily spend their days whiling away the time in a small town in Texas. Adam is an immigrant from Canada, he is seen as exotic and different in the town, lacking their heavy Christian beliefs. Eve is a traditional and girly girl who desperately wants to break out from her role as a small town Christian girl, and seeks a relationship with Adam and takes part in the groups trouble making to do so. Kaine is the local equivalent of a bad boy, dealing with a drunken father, interested in sex and hoping to ditch the small town and travel the US on his motorcycle, he is somewhat perverse, trying to kiss the two girls despite their reluctance when the group drinks together. Joseph is a religious boy and a nerd, who follows his older brother Kaine for lack of better options, Adam often having to protect him from his brothers bullying. Lily is a follower, nervously trying to keep up with everyone else.
The group are presented as outsiders in the small religious community, and troublemakers, Kaine pressing the others into doing things like smashing windows, getting drunk and high or going into abandoned and haunted houses. The first 20 minutes focusses solely on their lives and the emptiness they feel as outsiders.
During one such excursion to an abandoned house on the county line, the group sees lights and figures moving in the windows, Eve, Lily and Joseph want to leave instead of investigating, Kaine wants to go in, Adam is on the fence until he hears a scream from the house, at which point he wants to go in, while Kaine changes his mind, eventually the group is forced to sneak into the house when Adam goes onwards against their wishes.
In the house they discover an occult ritual occurring, a beautiful young woman at its centre, in clear distress. Adam attacks, grabbing the large tome the head of the cultists is reading from and using it as a weapon, the group manage to escape with the captured girl, Kaine setting the house on fire as they escape. The cult chases them into the woods, stalking them, but the group manage to get to the road, and escape with the help of a passing trucker.
At the police station the relate their story. It turns out the mysterious girl is foreign, speaking a language no one can understand, the sheriff and his deputy assume she is an illegal immigrant from Eastern Europe, smuggled in by human traffickers, they jokingly call her Jane Doe, and the nickname sticks. Both Adam and Kaine offer her a place to stay, but the Deputy, who can't keep his eyes off of Jane, states she'll have to stay in the police station for the night, Jane gets upset when they try to separate her from Adam, which makes Eve jealous.
The deputy tries to communicate to Jane, and implies that, as an illegal immigrant, he can have her deported 'back to Russia' if she doesn't comply with what he wants, putting his hand on her knee, she pushes him away and the sheriff sees, he takes Jane back to his place to stay, and demands the deputy stay in the office and try and see if he can find a name or kissing persons report to match Jane. Outside we see the camera linger on the woods outside, where we see a figure in a cultists hood dip behind cover.
At the old Sheriff's home, which is quite isolated and out of town, we see him show Jane around, she notices a picture of him and a woman together, his old wife, who died several years ago, he claims he misses her to Jane, who can't really understand, but comforts him nonetheless. The old Sheriff smiles and claims that, if she needs a home she has one here, before showing her to his spare room and letting her sleep for the night.
Back at the Sheriff station the camera acts as a POV. As someone stalks the Deputy through the station, eventually he turns as the camera advances on him, screaming, before the camera turns to black.
The next day Adam, Kaine and the group are hanging out at a restaurant when Jane walks in, she still can't speak English, but she immediately tries to get close to Adam, even as Kaine tries to get close to her, and Eve tries to get between them. Joseph meanwhile has the book from the ritual and is trying to read it, while Lily notices a commotion outside as an ambulance and the sheriffs car speed past. Joseph explains that he is trying to figure out what the cult wanted, and that the book seems to be in Latin, though he struggles to read it himself, and suggests they take it to the local priest.
Meanwhile the ambulances and sheriffs car that passed the restaurant earlier are revealed to be heading to the Sheriffs station, where they find the Deputy, torn to shreds from the waist down. The Sheriff announced they'll have to call for backup, as this cult is obviously real and very dangerous. He realises Jane has wandered off, and quickly races to his car to look for her.
The teenagers have arrived at the church, we see a hooded figure watching them from around a corner. Jane seems reluctant to leave Adam's car, seemingly scared, and locking the car doors when they try to get her out, Kaine volunteers to stay with her, Adam is reluctant to do so, as Jane doesn't want him to leave, but Eve manages to drag him away into the church.
In the church the priest identifies the book as one designed to catalogue demons, The Meretrices Biblia, containing how to summon demons, and how to seal them. The group is startled as they realise that is what the cult was attempting, and the group manage to identify the symbols of the ritual they saw, helping to narrow down the ritual used to one used to summon Succubi, a female demon that mates for life, giving their lover unimaginable pleasure in exchange for essentially trapping them, keeping them as their mate sealed away from the world in their chosen nest. To summon the succubus requires a human sacrifice however.
Meanwhile back in the car Kaine begins to try and pressure Jane into sex, getting pushier and pushier, eventually she screams and Kaine jumps away, before noticing a cultist watching the car, he honks his horn to warns the others, scaring the cultist away. The rest of the group comes running, the sheriff pulls around the corner too, he rushes in to grab Jane, telling the group of kids about what happened to the Deputy, and wanting them to stay indoors and warn their parents about what's happening, much to their horror.
That night the Sheriff keeps watch over his house, armed and ready, he announces backup will be here soon to Jane, who he then begins to teach English, with immense speed she starts to pick it up and speak broken sentences within a few hours. The Sheriff sends her to bed, and continues to keep his watch over the house.
Later outside Cultists begin to gather in the woods around the Sheriffs home. He notices, and begins to shoot at them, driving them away, even killing one who attempts to climb the wall of his home to the bedroom Jane is in. He rushes up to check on her, only to find her window open and her gone.
At Kaine and Joseph's house the two boys are both avoiding their drunk father, who is angry at them for getting involved. Kaine seems more annoyed then anything else, while Joseph is legitimately terrified, going back to the tome they stole from the cultists to try and decipher more, using a Latin dictionary he was lent by the priest.
Someone sneaks into their house, the camera following it POV as they sneak up on their father, killing him silently and brutally, before sneaking towards Kaine's room. In his own bedroom Joseph hears Kaine's screams, and hides beneath the bed, he sees someone walk into his room, go towards his desk and look at the tome, he stays as quiet as he can, before the figure turns towards the bed, then suddenly turns and leap out of the window. He stays beneath his bed, in an empty house, weeping and terrified.
At Adam's house he is stressed and scared, and when he hears a knock at his window he grabs a baseball bat and turns to swing…only for it to be Jane. She's snuck out to see him, let in and climbing into his bedroom, she begins to talk to him in broken sentences, very clearly flirting with him, causing him to get flustered as she becomes more and more overt, the two almost begin to kiss…until a pebble hits his window. Adam pokes his head out and sees Eve, who begins to explain that she snuck out because she needed to see how he was as she was worried, and she wants to climb up and see him, only for Jane to stick her head out of the window, causing Eve to get upset and run off, getting back in her bike and cycling away. Adam gets annoyed when Jane resists his attempts to leave and tries to make him stay, beginning to undress. His parents hear the commotion and open the door to find the two, the sheriff being called.
Eve cycles all the way to Lilly's house, coming in and crying into her friends arms, while hooded figures from the cult watch from outside.
The next day news of Kaine and his fathers murder reaches Adam, who is devastated, he goes to see Joseph who can barely talk as he is so traumatised, however he is still clutching the book, he begins to scream as the Sheriff and Jane enter the room again, the Sheriff becomes distracted trying to calm him down, and Adam is hurried out of the room, Jane tries to follow but Adam is too upset to talk. He goes outside and runs into Lily.
Lily explains that Eve will be coming later, but she didn't want to run into Adam, she tells Adam that Eve loves him, and that, with everything going on, she couldn't ignore it anymore, Adam admits he doesn't feel the same way, and Lily acknowledges this and goes in to help calm and comfort Joseph, passing by Jane who was listening in.
Adam is distressed and depressed, he goes back to the church to speak the the priest, who tries to comfort him, only to largely fail, frustrated he goes back outside, only to find Jane followed him. He gets angry at her, raging and saying it was a mistake to save her, only to immediately regret it when she begins to cry. He tried to comfort her, and she comforts him, the two hold each other and he goes to take her home to the sheriffs place, only for her to get him to take a detour, Jane begins to kiss Adam and tell him he loves her as they park in a back alley. Eventually she drags him to the back seat, and the two begin to have sex.
In the middle of it however, her eyes turn black, she grows fangs, and her hands and feet begin to grow scales. Adam horrified, realises she wasn't the sacrifice, she was the succubus the entire time. The sex turns to rape as she forces herself on him, but before he can finish, the cultists interrupt, smashing the car window and trying to attack Jane, driving her off with Holy Water, saving Adam.
The group of hooded figures reveal themselves, they are exorcists, they trapped a succubus that was summoned to this world and were trying to banish her back to hell. The group had inadvertently saved the succubus, and she had fallen for Adam, trying to make him her mate, and killing those who aggravated her.
Scared, Adam allows the exorcists to escort him home, before going to track Jane to her 'nest' and attempt to defeat her, once and for all. When he gets home he finds Eve's parents there, desperately looking for their daughter, who went missing from her bedroom earlier that day.
At the sheriffs home Jane is in her human form, in the bedroom she was given, trying to tend to her wounds and crying. The Sheriff believes she was attacked, and when he hears a noise downstairs arms himself and goes to defend his house, calling in the other sheriffs that had arrived earlier that day to reinforce him over his radio. In the ensuing fight, the sheriff is killed by the exorcists as they try to restrain him, Jane, seeing this, becomes enraged, becoming a demon she tears the exorcists apart. Before approaching the dead sheriff, and taking his body outside, burying him, when the other Sheriffs arrive and disturb her, she kills them.
Adam meanwhile has gone out hunting for Eve, eventually he decides to check the road between his house and hers, going off the road when he sees a flock of birds feeding on something. It turns out it's Eve's dead body. Jane murdered her.
He flees back to his house and calls Lily, warning her of what Jane is and telling her to flee to the church to try and get help from the Priest. As he goes outside he sees Jane walking towards him from down the street, covered in blood, he jumps in his car and drives as fast as he can away from her.
Arriving at the church Adam sees Lily and drags her onto the grounds, pursued by Jane, who stops at the border. Adam realises that she can't go into holy ground, hence why she panicked in the car and waited for him outside earlier. For now, they're safe. Jane calls out to Adam 'Come! Love! Please! Come!'.
The priest emerges and sees the demon before them, he hurries them inside.
Within the church they begin to try and make a plan. The succubus wants Adam, to take him away and keep him in her nest, wherever that may be, and they only really have one weapon they know will work on her, Holy Water. The priest has a limited amount, but brings more up and begins to try and bless it, they plan for Adam to distract her while Lily and the Priest sneak up on her flanks and douse her in Holy Water, hopefully killing her.
However before they can send Adam out, they hear Joseph's calls. Jane has captured him, and dragged him in front of the church. She calls for Adam to come out to her, and begins to claw out one of Joseph's eyes when he does not. Rushed, they decide to enact the plan with less Holy Water than they wanted, to try and save Joseph.
Adam distract her, Jane becoming fixated and visibly excited when he emerges and walks towards her, calling out to him. The Priest and Lily attack, the Holy Water burning Jane, she uses Joseph as a shield to protect herself from one side, before slitting his throat and throwing his body at Lily, pinning her beneath his corpse, she then turns and kills the priest. Despite her burns she still lives, but Adam manages to retreat into the church.
There he prays to god, for forgiveness, for salvation, despite not being religious before, he now can't help but look to god for guidance. No answer comes.
He hears Jane calling for him again. He looks outside, she's healed already, and in her hands is Lily, terrified. Adam looks back at the empty church, then at the beckoning monster before him, trying to stifle tears he approached Jane, who drops a weeping traumatised Lily to the ground before taking Adam's hand.
Lily reaches out, trying to pull Adam away, but failing. Adam marches along, pulled by Jane towards the woods outside of town. She leads him to to Sheriffs house, past the bodies of the exorcists and up to 'her' room. Then she pushes him down onto the bed and begins to force herself on him. The house begins to rock and the earth begins to shake, as the house begins to be dragged underground, eventually being swallowed up and disappearing underground as though it was never there.
The last shot of the movie is of Jane, in her bedroom, illuminated by candlelight, with shining eyes kneeling over Adam, cradling a pregnant stomach, Adam silently crying as she coos happily over her baby and him.
