In some other story, Gefjosa Aslaugsdottir would have woken up in the days following the Thing with a spring in her step and a song on her lips. In this story, she woke up screaming. Drenched in a cold sweat. Sheets tangled around her thick limbs. Breathless. Hoarse. Shivering. Visions of cloven bellies, wrenched limbs, hollowed bodies, and worse worse worse skittering back to the corners of her eyes. The place that they lurked while she was awake. She lay in the too-small bed she'd made, gazing up at the waning starlight visible between gaps in the shoddy thatch of her roof.
One. The Weight on her chest felt like the whole of the sea. It was all she could do just to breath. Each shallow, stuttering gasp took the whole of her being just to draw and release.
Two. Overcoming fear, she blinked and, in that second of darkness, the nightmares
IT'S NOT A NIGHTMARE IF IT HAPPENED ITS A MEMORY YOU CAN'T FORGET YOU'LL NEVER BE RID OF IT NEVER CAN NEVER SHOULD NEVER NEVER NEVER leapt upon her again. Then her eyes opened and blood, gristle, and grief was replaced by her old shoddy roof and the faintest of rosy glows beyond.
Three. Gefjosa heaved in a lungful of air. She grabbed the thin blanket covering her, an dragged it across her face, clearing the crusted sweat, snot, and tears from the long long night. Long long, yes, but not long than the one before and before. "I need to get a new blanket..." Gefjosa muttered to herself, "this one is getting pretty gross." The sound didn't echo off the loose, damp planks of her cottage but it struck her oddly just the same.
"I think that's the first time I've spoken here alone," she whispered to no one.
Four. She stretched sore muscles but still wasn't
quite ready to get up.
it's a good ache. i'm getting stronger. She pursed her lips and begun to tuneless hum a few bars of a song she'd heard Akali (
@Abensur ) singing as they passed a few days back. He'd had a gaggle of children following him, shouting, laughing, begging him for another song.
her cottage, not this one a better one, full of pattering feet, children's laughter, j- YOU'LL NEVER HAVE IT YOU DON'T DESERVE IT YOU DON'T DESERVE obsidian skin, taught muscles Gefjosa snatched the blanket again and rubbed her face until it was a little raw. Definitely, definitely time to get up now.
Five. She did. It was the day she and her Uncles were to start clearing her land. No time to dawdle over... silly things. Still, by the time she stepped out of her cottage, the sun's lip had crested horizon's horizon's edge and the sky was washed indigo. Among the Blomtamja, that meant she was late for work. The Plow ground into reality across her shoulders and she set out downhill at a loping pace towards the place she'd agreed to meet her uncles (
@mythfan12 ;
@Sirrocco ).
Days passed.
Each day, fought her way out of bed, down the hill, and to her uncles. Slow, so slowly, the jungle that she had claimed as her own was cleared. A quarter season of work, a blink compared to the time she'd already spent in this new land but... it was harder than before. Before the Thing, it was so easy to slip into that dark world, following the whispers of the Red Voice. Afterward, the Red Voice wasn't alone and it wasn't only whispering anymore. For better or for worse, the dark place was cracked now, the Sorrow she'd no long fit neatly in the Sorrow she'd molded around herself. The parts now exposed to the light burned in a different, unfamiliar way.
But she was not alone.
Clan Blomtamja, the parts of it that remained at least, was not what others would call "chatty." Not with each other, at least, and not with words. Uncle Torgarr and Uncle Njal spoke to the plants and soil. Their words were heeded. Stones and trees pulled themselves from the ground and moved into orderly rows. No words were needed when will alone could command reality to be as was desired. They communicated through movements of the earth itself and the unspoken certainty that each knew what they were doing. Gefjosa... trundled along behind them and cleaned up. She would never tell a mountain to move
maybe i'll push one over, though! ... one day but that was no excuse not to
work.
Silence. Once Gefjosa feared it only fractions less than she'd feared noise. Only the sounds of hard labor and powerful magic, which, extraordinary as it was, faded into the background after days. In silence, welled up the pain. Those black memories. That red voice.
YOU'LL NEVER BE FREE The Knife slipped into her chest. The Weight settled on her shoulders. The darkness closed around her... but... there! There, out in the black, other pinpoints of light!
remember the Thing! remember you aren't alone! Other souls, each with their own regrets and troubles and woes and Sorrow, just like her, family! Kin! In blood, in plight, in shared tragedy, in every way that mattered. Gefjosa gritted her teeth and whispered "
I am not alone."
Days passed.
Each day, fought her way out of bed, down the hill, and to her uncles. Each day, she watched them weave great magic as she trudged behind. Each day, the Knife slipped in, the Weight settled, the darkness closed.
NOTHING HAS CHANGED YOURE STILL THE SAME BROKEN THING YOURE STILL ALL ALONE That's right. It was true. She couldn't deny it any longer... she was alone... there were others around her but inside she was alone... all alone... there was no hand holding the Knife but hers, no force pushing the Weight but her own.
maybe... maybe i can use them for something else... for just a little while... SORROW. She scraped its edge across the blade of her Plow. SORROW. She braced its heft against its beams. She braced her feet against the loose soil and
pushed carving new rows faster than she ever had before! It felt like she had when Father had brought home that new plow with the shiny, runed blade and he'd let her push even though her arms were barely long enough to reach the handles.
If, at that moment, Uncle Torgarr or Uncle Njall had looked back, they would have seen Gefjosa Aslaugsdottir's smile for the first time since Gotland sunk below the waves.
Days passed.
Each day, fought her way out of bed, down the hill, and to her uncles. Clan Blomtamja, the parts of it that remained at least, was not what others would call "chatty." But her Uncles were discussing
something. In those quiet moments, when they thought Gefjosa wasn't listening, they spoke of something that caused the Sorrow in their hearts to writhe and spark. She caught only snatches. Dead men. Sea wall. Defenders. Everyone needed. Keep Gefjosa safe.
One day, after the sun had set and a Blumtamja could rest too, Uncle Njal came to her. Her told her what they'd been whispering about. The dead were coming for Driftwood. When they arrived, he was going to take her to town and she'd stay there. She'd be safe there. Fear seized Gefjosa's heart.
MEN OF IRON MEN OF BONE DRIFTWOOD GOTLAND ITS ALL HAPPENING ALL OVER AGAIN It was all she could do to mutely nod her head.
When she could finally meet her uncles' gazes again she looked up... and saw the golden chains snaking around Uncle Torgarr's chest.
HE'S GOING TO DIE. HE'S GOING TO DIE FOR YOU. Everything went black.