The Hard Part
((Timeframe is shortly before the two expeditions leave town, couldn't have written it without
@CoatRackRanger, majority of first pass writing done before we knew if either would survive,
Everyone on the action knows about the walk and talk but not specifics, Clan Jarnblod knows that Harald came home even dopier than the day after the feast.))
At the end of the second day digging up Amlodi's future quarry, Harald asks Gefjosa for a hand carrying some compacted dirt back to Ragnarsby.
If either realized that Harald had two cousins and a fungal farmhand headed that way who weren't carrying anything, neither mentioned it.
If either realized that after the last years labor and glory the other could carry the load easily by themselves, either of them would have thought about it, a lot, but neither mentioned it.
They spend the first half of the walk, Harald's cousins walking ahead of them almost to the horizon, laughing and enjoying the walk and sun with each other. They talk about soil composition, and preventing earthworks from degrading by seeding grasses and flowers, keeping frogs wet, and a half dozen other safe things, a hard days work and danger on the horizon allowing both to relax and enjoy the afternoon.
Harald felt like a heap of hay that had been allowed to cure wrong in the high heat of the summer, dampness bringing fire through the mysteries of the Soil, readying grass to light with the faintest spark.
Gods, how he had missed this feeling.
*This was such a good day...but we're almost to Ragnarsby*
"I thought about how I was going to say this for the last few days of digging and I didn't, but last night I realized that I should just talk about it.
Gefji, if the next few weeks don't go well for either of us, I want you to know that it changes nothing for me. I understand if it changes stuff for you, but I don't think it will. All the other reasons to end those assholes aside, I think you want to steal those Oni's cows and care for them and boop their 14 foot tall snoots just as much as I do.
Basically what I'm trying to say is if I don't see you for a while, don't give up on me, and if you don't see me for a while, don't waste time trying to convince me to stop believing in you. "
Harald walked and smiled and waited for a while in silence, he had......expected a response to that...
Gefjosa blinks at Harald a couple times. He realizes that, about halfway through his speech tears had started to gather at the corners of her eyes.
*Ah shit she's about to cry, topic change, topic change...don't ruin the last five minutes of the last walk you might have with her*
"I also wanted to make sure you knew that I don't think you slighted me by choosing to go with Anja up into the northern mountains instead of going with me and my Kin out west for Stone like you'd said for a while.
You don't have to explain the decision to me or anything, just wanted to reassure you of that. I don't know why you'd think that, just seemed like something good to mention."
He smiles and thinks of foundations.
"I hope we both find what we're looking for."
She sniffs a couple of times then, surprisingly, rubs away the burgeoning dew without loosing the floodgates whatsoever.
"Sorry, I was still thinking about the Oni Cows." She takes a steadying breath. Then smiles up at Harald, "I… just didn't want to get stuck in a hole with your kin and-and have them keep pushing us together. Dying in the mountains sounds less stressful."
*If they screw this up for me their blood won't save them*
Irritation, annoyance, and just a touch of real anger touches Harald eyes as he looks ahead to his two cousins walking ahead of them, almost on the horizon, before he sighs, takes his own steadying breathe, smiles back at her, and relaxes.
*I can't take issue with Kin for trying to help me, I just wish they'd listened. They will when I return from this trip*
"I'll talk with my cousins and make sure they all understand I don't want or need any help here, that I'm Actually Happy Right Now. I promise I told them we weren't courting and to treat you and Anja both like they would treat Ragnar's blood brothers...sorry about the disconnect....and I presume also for whatever Moli or Kare or... *No Harald, you know it was Moli or Kare*, anyway whatever they said."
Harald's fears and anger were dismissed with a smile,
"Moli and Kare didn't say anything I just… worry."
Harald sighed, Ragnarr's house would be visible around the next corner...He still had one thing left to talk about, and precious little time to do it.
"I worry too. I know we can do this, I feel it in my spine and my heart and the earth beneath my feet, but I worry too. You asked me one ti..." Harald is interrupted
Just as they're about to separate for the last time for quite a while… maybe forever if the Norns are cruel… Gefjosa grabs Harald by the bicep pulls him close, hesitates for a split second, then kisses his cheek. "I-in case we n-never see each other again! And so you have a reason to make SURE you come back!" She flees, blind panic driving out all thoughts save a little pink voice reminding her just how FIRM that bicep was.
The moment her lips brushed his cheek their heat sparked a fire that burned through Harald's mind and body as he gave a dopey smile and looked at her..Leaving?!
The fire spread through him as he held his cheek and watched her go. It flashed through him, passing over some things and consuming others.
Everything he had decided he was ok with for her sake burned to ash.
His patience burned.
His restraint burned.
His worries burned.
Harald fell into a sprinters stance holding his cheek as the earth below him formed into blocks to push off of, and readied himself to leap off after her on plumes of Soil. The instant before he does, he hears his father's voice, almost drowned out by the fire behind his eyes and heart beating in his chest.
"A real man never stops a woman from leaving. Make her want to return. Make her want to stay. In love as in farming, you must earn the blessings of Freyja.
But no son of mine will chase a girl like she's prey."
*No, Harald, stop, just enjoy it and let her have the space*
Harald stays there, crouched
*Huh, when she runs like that she forgets to hide how her...*
His cheek gets even warmer, as he starts to shout after her
*Should I have to look a Valkyrie in the eye and turn down an invitation to a God's Hall, unless it be my Fated Day or we face Steel, I will return to you*
*No harald, 40% off the top there and don't tempt the norn, old habits*
"You do the same" He shouts, the smile audible in his voice from 100 yards off.
Harald lies there, on the ground, and watches her run until she's gone, then flips over, looks at the clouds, and smiles.
*I knew Ragnar was wrong...shouldn't have doubted myself, or her, still wish she hadn't left so abruptly, I still needed to ask her...*
He realized it didn't matter.
He knew he still needed to ask her what she had asked him, and felt guilty about not doing so already, but the need he had felt that morning to ask her was gone, he wasn't sure why.
*Ah well, we'll have time, or we won't. I'll pray tonight and hope for the best, but I can't control the measurement of the Norns so there's no reason to concern myself with it.
Even if one of us does fall....this goodbye was so much better than the last. I was so worried about surviving. So worried about my loss sending her down forever.
I was wrong. Even if I fall, she'll pull through. I have to believe that. If I'm going to win I have to go into tomorrow with clear eyes, hungry for the future and unconcerned with loss.
huh...maybe I can ask Anja to relay the question for me in case I...no, it's not that urgent. It seemed so critical this morning though....
oh, jealousy. It was the jealousy, the jealousy is gone.*
It had burned too
*Neat!* Harald thought, securely, before thinking of her lips and then the words of his mother.
"Remember, child, we make sacrifices to the Gods not because of what we receive in turn, but because in removing something from ourselves, even if just by our word, we give ourselves room to grow. It is in the struggle, that we earn the gifts of the gods.
You do not have to make this promise today. If you're not sure, and you want to wait or decline I would think no less of you, and would convince your father of the same. It would be better for you to have the....typical level of youthful indescrition and then do fresh rites from there than for you to make this promise before Freyja and break it. Do you understand, Son?"
He remembered reassuring her he did.
He'd had no idea.
*Freya's wreathe, this is the hard part, isn't it*