Inglorious Basterds, the Reboot, starring HK-47, Anakin Skywalker, Jango Fett and Cirian! Special quests Brad Pitt and Samuel L. Jackson! With Christopher Waltz as Sith Inquisitor Hans Landa!

And Directed by Quentin Tarantino!

Mace Windu: Alright, people. And Droid. Whatever. Obviously our Sith-hunting isn't working, so it's time to try something else. Our...associates in the CNS have offered their services to assist us. We're forming a new outfit. Sound good?

Anakin:...Not really, Master. I'm convinced you're a deathstick addict at this point. You should really

Mace: Damnit, Skywalker..speak when spoken to, motherkriffer. No, I'm not wasting time with Bantha 'healing' or whatever gundark-crap goes on in the Temple. Now..

HK-47: Query: Does this mean we get to go on a shooting rampage? Please?

Mace: Yes, my Assassin Droid friend..yes it does.

Jango: This should be good...

Aldo Raine: When you enter this outfit, you owe me a debt! Each of you owe me one-hundred-Sith-scalps! And I want my scalps! And you will get me those scalps, or you will die trying!

HK-47: Exclamation: My blaster pistols are giggling with manic laughter! This is amazing!

Cirian: What..

Mace: I'm sorry, is there a planet What around? No? Just shut up then. Do I need to
whip you in another duel?

Cirian:...No, Mace. Please continue.

Elsewhere..

Hans Landa: Wunderbar! We can trap these Jedi pigs and kill our enemies in one swoop!

Sidious: Do it.

To be continued...
 
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@Barondoctor

You were right, the pun in Thrawn's character's name was awful. I love it.

It came to me and my first thought was "come on, no. Really?" Then the pun kept twisting my arm and I realized there was only one way out: inflicting it on everyone else. The other names were a bit more organic.
Usagi -- Sailor Moon's name, was a given. Keep running with the reference.
Robin Corrin: Robin of Fire Emblem fame is known for using magic. Corrin, also of Fire Emblem fame, uses about the closest fantasy equivalent to a lightsaber I've seen that isn't directly intended to be a lightsaber. Corrin is also in the same phonetic neighborhood as Ciaran. Both have a similar hair color to Ciaran's. Both are the core of their respective organizations.
Cherish -- I haven't decided if all the golem-people will be one word names (they might) but it seemed to fit.
 
Temple Bombing - Skywalkers
Coruscant

Anakin stared blankly into space as he tried to process what Ciaran had told him.

He had...would have had a son. Vader would have had a son.

The thought seemed so surreal...and if he was with those other people...did that mean he was fighting against Vader?

Anakin closed his eyes, beginning to search through his now accessible memories. And sure enough his son - Luke (as he would hear the name in a couple of memories), would either fight against him directly or be brought up as someone who was a major threat to Vader's side again and again.

If nothing else, Anakin thought to himself as he continued to go through events with Luke in them, he was blocked out because the Son knew that his son was nothing short of a hero. And a Jedi for that matter - sure he used a lightsaber but he could easily tell that the Force was strong in him. Given that one of Anakin's visions clearly portrayed the destruction of the Order as he knew it, the idea that there could be a successor to the Jedi in a time like that was nothing short of extraordinary.

Still...something was missing. Anakin couldn't quite figure out what it was, but he had a feeling that there was something more to this...

It took some time, but eventually he reached a memory where he was standing with Luke on a catwalk with thick forests surrounding them. Apparently he had surrendered to the men that had brought him there, though the look of quiet resolve in his eyes indicated otherwise...

"The Emperor has been expecting you," Vader said to Luke as the two of them walked forward.

"I know, Father."

"So, you have accepted the truth."
Anakin couldn't help but blame Luke for being shocked and in denial of Darth Vader's identity in an earlier memory...

"I've accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father," Luke calmly replied.

"That name no longer has any meaning for me," Vader said to him with barely hidden anger.


Anakin couldn't help but agree...after the atrocities and slaughter Vader had committed-

"It is the name of your true self, you've only forgotten," Luke said resolutely. "I know there is good in you. The Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully."

...Impossible.

That was impossible. After everything Anakin had seen-

"That's why you couldn't destroy me," Luke said as he walked towards a railing and looked off into the distance. "That's why you won't bring me to your Emperor now."

Oh. So that was it. His son was more of a fool than he realized, thinking that Vader had any semblance of mercy.

All that talk of turning him wasn't affection, it was a means to an end. To strike down this "Emperor" and continue the cycle of hatred that he started.

Seemingly ignoring Luke's words, Vader ignited the lightsaber he had taken off of him, the green glow gently lighting up the space between them. "I see you have constructed a new lightsaber. Your skills are complete," he said before turning it off. "Indeed you are powerful, as the Emperor has forseen."

Luke slowly turned to face him, silent for a brief moment before uttering three words neither Anakin or Vader were expecting: "Come with me."


...Why? How could he even think that was possible after everything that Vader had done?

Vader turned away. "Obi-Wan once thought as you do. You don't know the power of the Dark Side," he said, facing Luke again. "I must obey my master."

...No...that wasn't true...he could always choose not to. That's what Ciaran had been hammering into his head ever since that day on Mandalore...

Luke gently shook his head. "I will not turn. And you'll be forced to kill me."

"If that is your destiny..." Vader replied.

"Search your feelings, Father. You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you, let go of your hate!"


...How could he say that? Hate and despair were all Vader had left. Anakin knew that better than anyone.

"...It is too late for me, son," Vader quietly said before a nearby door opened and a pair of troopers walked out. "The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force."

Was that...conflict? Like Luke had said? ...It didn't matter though. After everything that he had done, it didn't matter what Vader did. Too many people had lost their lives because of what he had done...

Luke coolly nodded. "Then my father is truly dead."

He was. Luke had only been deluding himself up to that point.

As if on cue another memory came into focus. This time it was him and Luke standing before the "Emperor" responsible for Vader's existence. Despite being in the presence of the Sith Lord, Luke was unafraid, taunting him even then. Though his bravado quickly faltered once the Emperor revealed he was leading Luke's allies into a trap, the cruelty evident in his voice...

Eventually Luke looked out through a viewport at the battle progressing, before looking at the lightsaber sitting next to the Emperor...

"You want this...don't you?" the Emperor said softly as he gently laid a hand over Luke's lightsaber. "The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it, give in to your anger! With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant!"

Anakin started to shake unconsciously. Vader was too far gone, but not Luke. Not him. The thought of Vader being responsible for his own son's fall was-!

Luke turned away, centering himself before he faced the Emperor again. "No."

"It is unavoidable."


No it was not!

"It is your destiny."

He was lying!

"You, like your father, are now mine."

Even though he was now locked in a trance Anakin shook with anger. Luke was nothing like Vader. He was better than the monster that had plagued his nightmares ever since Mortis!

Luke wavered - then grabbed his lightsaber with the Force, igniting it as Vader did the same, blocking the strike that would have ended the Emperor's life as the old man cackled in glee. The two traded a few blows before Luke kicked Vader in his core, sending him flying down the steps leading to the Emperor's throne as he continued to laugh, uncaring of the fight playing out before him.

"Good," the Emperor said as Luke stopped in place, realizing what he was doing. "Use your aggressive feelings, boy."


Anakin continued to shake, watching helplessly as the scene played out before him and unable to interfere-

"You are unwise to lower your defenses!" Vader said as he attacked Luke, the duel continuing for a brief moment before he leapt up onto a nearby catwalk.

"Your thoughts betray you, Father. I feel the good in you. The conflict."

"There is no conflict."


While Anakin was beginning to think otherwise he couldn't help but think that his son was insane to try and redeem Vader while the far more dangerous threat of the Emperor was nearby.

"You couldn't bring yourself to kill me before and I don't believe you'll destroy me now."

"You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny." With that Vader cut the catwalk Luke was standing on down with a throw of his lightsaber, sending Luke plummeting into the floor beneath him, Vader walking after him as the Emperor merely commented with a simple "Good..."

Much as Anakin didn't like to admit it Luke was probably on to something - after all Vader could have done far more than simply cut down that catwalk...

As Vader staked through the area trying to find Luke, Anakin could tell that he was reaching out with the Force...

"You cannot hide forever, Luke."

"I
will not fight you."

Was Luke's attitude admirable? Certainly. Was it also incredibly foolish? Unquestionably.


"Give yourself to the Dark Side," Vader said, knowing Luke would hear him as he continued to hunt for him. "It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong."

Only Vader would see that as a weakness.

"Especially for...Sister."

Anakin's thought's ground to a halt once Vader uttered that word. Another child!? How - who -

"So you have a twin sister. Your feelings have betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me."

Was - was it Leia!? The distortion affected her too, so maybe-

"If you will not turn to the Dark Side, then perhaps she will."


"NEVER!" Luke screamed out as he charged Vader in a berserk fury, swinging his lightsaber around recklessly and hitting nearby consoles before managing to find his tempo, constantly pressuring Vader and driving him back, eventually cornering him against a catwalk over a shaft that seemed endlessly deep. Vader fell to the side, overwhelmed as Luke savagely beat down on him with his lightsaber, eventually breaking through Vader's guard and slicing off his hand, Vader crumpling to the ground.

Under most circumstances Anakin would be overjoyed at the idea of Vader finally dying, the suffering he had caused finally coming to an end. But at this one moment he was horrified to see Luke come so close to falling right then and there...

Luke held his lightsaber to Vader's throat much like Anakin did to him on Mortis, Vader's breathing now creaking as the Emperor laughed once again. "Good," he gleefully said as he walked closer to them, Luke turning to face him. "Your hate has made you powerful. Now...fulfill your destiny, and take your father's place at my side."

In that moment Anakin felt just as helpless as Vader, only able to watch as Luke looked between the Emperor and Vader, conflicted, looking between his gloved mechanical hand and Vader's stump. He felt despair wash over him, knowing that even his son would-

Luke turned off his lightsaber. "Never," he said breathlessly as he tossed it away. "I'll never turn to the Dark Side. You've failed, 'Your Highness.' I am a Jedi, like my father before me."

...In that moment as Luke faced down the Emperor fearlessly and completely unarmed, Anakin could not be any prouder of him.

"...So be it, Jedi,"the Emperor said bitterly as he slowly raised his hands. "If you will not be turned...you will be destroyed."

Lighting arced out from his hands, striking Luke and tossing him to the side as Vader got up to his feet.


Anakin started to shake again as Luke's screams of agony echoed through his mind. "No, no, no stop him I know you can stop him-"

"Young fool. Only now at the end do you understand." With those words lightning arced out again for an instant only to stop as the Emperor strode forward. "Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the Dark Side." Lightning struck Luke again. "You have paid the price for your lack of vision." This time the lightning was more intense as the Emperor grinned wildly, shocking Luke without mercy.

"Father, please...help me!" Luke begged between screams, writhing in agony-


"HOW CAN YOU JUST STAND THERE!?" Anakin screamed out, feeling now more than ever as though he was trapped in Darth Vader's armor. "Just this once, in your nightmare of an existence, do the right thing! YOUR SON IS DYING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!"

"Now, young Skywalker...you will die."

"Nononononono there has to be something, anything I can do -" For the first time Anakin tried to push out, maybe change something, even if it was pointless he couldn't just stand by and do nothing like Vader was!

Vader stood by, looking between the Emperor and Luke-

"...Hah. So that's my legacy is it? Letting my own son-"

Suddenly Vader lunged at the Emperor, lifting the Sith Lord over his head with what was left of his strength before throwing him over the side and into the deep shaft, his scream echoing as he fell before an explosion of Force energy surged upwards.

WIth that, Vader collapsed, and Luke staggered over to him to try and support him...


So that was it. That was why the Son had blocked Luke out...because he was right, that Vader was conflicted, that he was able to return to the light.

But...

Anakin came out of the trance, staring into space as he tried to process what he had seen. As it turned out there was someone who did believe in him, despite everything he had done...

But at the same time, Anakin had been trying to separate himself from Vader any way he could. The monstrous things he did, the atrocities he helped commit...while he was far more aware of how fallible he was Anakin had consoled himself with the idea that he had in fact died, and Darth Vader had taken his place. Much like Vader himself did, now that he thought about it...

The thought that there was still something left of Anakin Skywalker in there, while hopeful in one sense, was horrific in another. It meant that there was a part of him that was screaming out like he had been earlier, that was trying to make things right, that realized just how much of a monster he had become. And until Luke came, that part of him was all but powerless.

His hands tightened into fists. If that was the case, how could he ever forgive Vader like Luke had? Even if he did return to the light at the end, how could it make up for all of the death and destruction that he was responsible for? Vader had said that he had to obey his master, but that was no excuse - he had a choice to be better.

He could have stopped Alderaan from being destroyed.

He could have spared the countless lives ended by his hands whether directly or through the results of his actions.

And...Padme...

After everything he had seen...forgiving Vader was something he could never do.

...

...Was that it then?

Was that what Vader truly meant when he said he had to obey his master? Because after everything he did, he simply couldn't conceive of being forgiven or finding redemption?

Did he honestly believe that he had no choice? That he never had the power to choose his fate for himself?

...Maybe that was the secret to who Vader really was - in the end he wasn't a monster, merely a slave. A being that had resigned himself to being little more than a tool for whoever his master was. At least, until the very end when Luke helped him realize that he didn't have to be that.

...

...If that was true...then...

----------

While Ciaran was looking and acting as though she was busy doing things around the base to help settle things down after the bombing, if someone was paying close enough attention they would notice that she was regularly walking past the room Anakin had sealed himself in. She had meant what she said about not looking any further, but she knew better than anyone that she didn't like to leave these kinds of things alone given the chance.

Even so, she couldn't get a solid read on whatever was going on - only that Anakin was in a very deep trance by the looks of it. And while he didn't seem to be having a pleasant experience by any stretch from what Ciaran could tell he was still holding himself together.

As time passed though her concern and curiosity intensified, and she found herself unable to resist getting a closer look...

Eventually she cracked, and moved to override the door to the room, though just before she did it opened to reveal Anakin who had a distant look on his face before he registered Ciaran's presence. "Thank you for your help," he said stiffly as he brushed past her.

"W-wait where are you going!?"

"Don't know. Just need to not be here. Thank you for your help," he replied in a monotone voice, speeding up and leaving a very confused Ciaran behind.

...What did he see? Well...at least I think he's alright...hopefully.

Shaking her head, she casually walked back to her office to settle some matters before she returned to the Oracle.

----------

Final Report:

Operations on Courscant returning to normal status. No agents compromised during missions related to the Jedi Temple Bombing (hereafter collectively referred to as "Operation Excision")

High Value Target Sora Bulq (hereafter referred to as Alpha Parasite) eliminated.

All Targets of Opportunity (hereafter referred to as Beta Parasites) eliminated/neutralized. Beta Parasite #4 ("Saato") determined to be insignificant threat to future endeavors.

All other relevant targets (hereafter referred to as Gamma Parasites) presumed dead in Jedi Temple battle (hereafter referred to as "Excision Event")

New Target of Opportunity Wilhuff Tarkin identified and assessed.

Potential Assets maintained. Current asset "Sentinels" maintained as viable contact.

Political fallout from Operation Excision has been deemed as acceptable collateral due to the nature of the operation.

Surveillance on Tython system and surrounding areas to be potentially intensified upon further review.

Update on psychological profiles on all Potential Assets connected to the Jedi Order in any significant capacity recommended.

All reports on Operation Excision are hereby classified to High Council and relevant persons.


AN: Well that was fun. Sorry for not responding to anything sooner but I wanted to get this part juuuuust right for obvious reasons. Yes, I know that I basically only wrote half of it myself due to the nature of the update. Shut up.

"But Snark, what about all of the political fallout and things like that?" you may ask. We'll get to that with the next turn prologue. These things take time to shake out. Relax.
 
...Maybe that was the secret to who Vader really was - in the end he wasn't a monster, merely a slave. A being that had resigned himself to being little more than a tool for whoever his master was. At least, until the very end when Luke helped him realize that he didn't have to be that.

The irony of this revelation burns me so much. Anakin began life as a slave, found freedom as a Jedi, lost it again as a slave to the Dark Side, and only found it again at the very end of his life.
 
Temple Bombing Achievements (Updated)

Decades of Decay:
Complete Operation Excision.
We're Sanitation Workers: Complete Operation Excision without the Jedi Council and Palpatine realising that the Abyss Watchers were involved.
Guardian Demons: Abyssalkers protect Ahsoka and defeat the Dark Acolytes without taking a single casualty or alerting anyone to who they really are.
I Am The Foreseeable Future: Overcome The Force to see the hidden secrets.
In The End, It Was Only You: Conclude Darth Vader's story.

Meta-Achievement

You can't stop the Omake Train:
Overwhelm the GM with two turns worth of omake bonuses.
 
Well, a moment of growth and personal enlightenment, Anakin may truly change as a person from this, shedding arrogance learning wisdom maybe?

Ciaran is starting to get attached to Anakin as a person now I think, rather than how he relates to Padme or his power. I think she kind of enjoys guiding him.
 
While it seems that Anakin hasn't recognised Palpatine it's not exactly a far leap to realising who the Emperor might have been if he has access to Vader's memories. It would look like a person in position to turn Anakin, the clone soldiers and several notable Republic officers. A person able to co-opt the Republic war machine and political apparatus into the empire. Someone whose identity the Son is hiding from him...
 
While it seems that Anakin hasn't recognised Palpatine it's not exactly a far leap to realising who the Emperor might have been if he has access to Vader's memories. It would look like a person in position to turn Anakin, the clone soldiers and several notable Republic officers. A person able to co-opt the Republic war machine and political apparatus into the empire. Someone whose identity the Son is hiding from him...
Nah, it's all Mace's fault. Don't reflect scarring and deforming force lightning back at the Sith lord. You'll just give him perfect disguise against precognition.
 
While it seems that Anakin hasn't recognised Palpatine it's not exactly a far leap to realising who the Emperor might have been if he has access to Vader's memories. It would look like a person in position to turn Anakin, the clone soldiers and several notable Republic officers. A person able to co-opt the Republic war machine and political apparatus into the empire. Someone whose identity the Son is hiding from him...
And it's probably not Ciaran, so that narrows it down even further.
 
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While it seems that Anakin hasn't recognised Palpatine it's not exactly a far leap to realising who the Emperor might have been if he has access to Vader's memories. It would look like a person in position to turn Anakin, the clone soldiers and several notable Republic officers. A person able to co-opt the Republic war machine and political apparatus into the empire. Someone whose identity the Son is hiding from him...

Unfortnately, Anakin might fall into the trap that Sidious used to fool the Jedi Council. That it couldn't possibly be the Supreme Chancellor because he was already the most powerful man in the galaxy. Thus any Dark Side feelings in his presence was merely the Dark Lord influencing Palpatine, which wouldn't be out of context with the Sith traditionally being the power behind the throne.

Thus they started investigating the Executive Branch and any Senators who had regular contact with the Chancellor. Up until Anakin discovering the truth, their lead suspect was Sate Pestage, Palpatine's personal advisor, who had all the trappings of the 'Evil Advisor' cliché with controlling who got to see Palpatine and rumoured to have done some truly terrible things to maintain power.
 
Vader knew his master was Palpitine from the beginning and they undoubtedly met many times during the twenty years he served him and heard the name Emperor Palpitine often. Hell, even with just the throne room seen there's enough speech pattern, build and bone structure to go on.
 
Except that he might have gone by Emperor Sidious.
 
Oh, look, more opportunities for Grandmaster Samuel L. Jackson to create havoc!

This gun b gud :V
 
Except that he might have gone by Emperor Sidious.

Except that everywhere that I can remember, both in the movies and EU, he always seems to be called Emperor Palpatine.

EDIT: Actually it's been years since I've seen the originals so I don't even know if they called him that. I remember them calling him "the Emperor" but I don't remember them saying his actual name. So ... I don't actually know.
 
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@Dr. Snark Given that Darra's now on Tython, would To Heal A Wound become canon with some adjustments to surrounding setting / timing details, or should I write a new one given that Riphath has seen more high-level combat than he ever imagined he would survive and is now probably looking for a way to not do high-level combat if he can help it?
 
Inglouous Basterds, continued..

Anakin: Chancellor, I had a vision of you being a Sith Lord. I had a son in it and you tried to kill him. Care to explain yourself?

Totally-not-Lord Sidious: Why, my boy, it was only a figment of your imagination! I have no idea what a Sith Lord even is! Never mind all the battles engraved in the walls around my office, or my hidden lightsaber?

Wait what did I really say that..

Obi-Wan: Yes, Chancellor..yes you did. You're kriffed.

Mace: Damn right he is.

Hans Landa: Oh goody! All my enemies in one room!

Cirian:...who are you, exactly?

Hans: Colonel Hans Landa, Emperor's...I mean..Republican Guard. Now if you'll excuse me I have business to attend to..

HK-47: Think again, meatbag.

*HK pulls out a dagger and ghosts Hans*

Anakin: So much for that. Now, Chancellor, you've been slimed. Time for your trial.

 
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Except that everywhere that I can remember, both in the movies and EU, he always seems to be called Emperor Palpatine.

EDIT: Actually it's been years since I've seen the originals so I don't even know if they called him that. I remember them calling him "the Emperor" but I don't remember them saying his actual name. So ... I don't actually know.
The movies only ever referred to him as The Emperor, but yeah he didn't use his Sith title. Why would he? He openly declared himself the Emperor in the senate as Palpatine, there was no reason (or way) to hide his identity.
 
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