I think he meant how things originally went.
Oh and I can link that Thrawn quote to being read in his voice if anyone wants it.
May The Invisible Hand Be With You - (Star Wars CK2-Style Quest)
- Thread starter Dr. Snark
- Start date
- Sci-Fi
-
- Tags
- star wars canon what canon tsundere dice ck2 quest actions have consequences all the credits all work and no play makes ciaran a dull girl best sister capitalism ho! despairing qm teetotaller society member gotta catch 'em all insanity looting off the rails sage dice approaching spicy sheev tsundere asajj
I think he meant how things originally went.
Oh and I can link that Thrawn quote to being read in his voice if anyone wants it.
The Invisible Hand Holiday Special
Dr. Snark
Exactly As Planned...Probably
- Location
- Right where I want to be
- Pronouns
- He/His/Him
AN: I know I promised an update. I have technically delivered. That's the good news.
The bad news is that it's something much, much stupider than the actual plot.
Currently Traveling At Maximum Possible Speed
Also Being Pursued By The Majority Of The Zeltros Royal Guard
"DAMMIT YOU OLD BASTARD," Galvin screamed at his 'beloved' Grandfather Silas from the corridor as the Forefather's Charm weaved and bobbed to dodge the laser fire coming at it. "I finally, finally found another chick that wasn't related to me, and we had it-" He was cut off when Silas jinked right, causing him to go flying into a wall.
"Well look at it this way, now you don't have to explain to Cheriss about why you were hitting on another girl," Silas casually commented as he continued to dodge fire.
"Ohnononono, you're not changing the subject," Galvin said as he staggered to his feet. "You - you somehow managed to piss off all of the Royal Guards. So tell me, was it one of the princesses or the queen you were in bed with?"
"Not important!"
"I disagree!"
"Look, what's important is that we're on our way back to the Oracle and -" the ship shook as a shot managed to connect with it - "we'll be celebrating Life Day before you know it!"
"I don't care about whatever 'Life Day' is, and quit dodging the question-"
"Prep for hyperspace!"
"I HATE YOU-"
-----------
Oracle
Reception Area
Currently Being Spruced Up For The Holidays
Chora idly hummed a jaunty tune to herself as she set up decorations around the reception area for the impromptu Life Day party that Ciaran and Silas had agreed "had to be a thing" in their words. While it was a bit out of the blue she wasn't going to turn down the excuse for a good party.
"So why are we doing this again?" Larana shouted to her from across the room. "Isn't Life Day more of a Wookiee thing? I think I remember hearing that somewhere..."
Chora shrugged. "Technically it's a Wookiee holiday observed every three years, but it's not unheard of for people to use it as an excuse to party. Like we are right now! Just relax and roll with it!" she said as she finished with her decorations.
"Oh, I'm fine with an excuse to take time off of work," Larana replied as she moved over to Chora, "But I'm more wondering how Grandfather heard about it. Ciaran I can understand what with the time she's spent on Kashyyyk, but I don't know how he-" Her face paled. "Oh no. Oh nonononoono-"
Chora slapped Larana across the face. "Rule number 1: Never think about your grandfather's sex life. Ever. So don't think about that thing you were just thinking about."
Larana gulped down a breath of air as she shook her head, her face still burning with embarrassment. "R-right right right, not thinking about those horrible mental images any more for the sake of my sanity anyway we're done here right?"
"We're done with decorating, Ciaran says that the entertainment's going to be 'in-house' apparently and that one 'Dani Plenar' is going to be handling that," Chora said as she looked over a datapad, "So...now all we need to do is make sure all of the guests are coming here!"
They both looked at each other.
"I'm not calling Grievous." Larana said flatly.
"Oh come on, it'll be fine," Chora replied. "It is not going to be that bad," she said as she tried to reassure herself.
------------
Hoth
Snowfield
What else do you want from me? It's Hoth. There's nothing but snow, snow and more snow there.
The majority of the time Hoth was fairly tranquil, with only the sounds of wind blowing and the odd baying of a tauntaun breaking the silence.
However today the sound of a screaming Gungan echoed through the air as one "General" Jar Jar Binks was running for his life from a pair of wampas chasing after him. He didn't have any idea where he was going but given that the monsters chasing him were big, angry, and had very sharp claws and teeth, he didn't particularly care just so long as it was away from them.
After a moment of running for his life the incredibly unfortunate Jar Jar heard a loud bang echo through the air, followed by what sounded like two large impacts in the snow. Stopping and veeeerrrrryyy slowly turning around, he was happy to see that the both wampas were now very clearly dead. Definitely. Probably. They looked dead, and they weren't moving...
Jar Jar inched closer to one of the wampas, nudging the body with his foot-
Only for its hand to reach out and grab his leg. He started to scream again and tried to yank his foot away, but to no avail as the wampa held him in a very literal death grip before it suddenly lost all strength. As Jar Jar quickly realized, it was because hiskidnapper self-appointed traveling companion Grievous had buried one of his swords into the offending wampa's spine.
"Excellent work, General Binks," he said with absolute sincerity as he began to check the bodies over. "I must admit I was having difficulty even locating one of these creatures, yet you managed to locate a pair of them and managed to lure them to a position where I could kill both of them in one shot. Your resourcefulness and good fortune continues to astound me."
Jar Jar processed this for a moment, then promptly passed out. Grievous glanced over at the unconscious Gungan, shrugged, and went on examining the wampa corpses before his communicator went off.
"Grievous."
"U-uh h-hi, nice to s-speak with you-"
"Larana, calm down."
"Quit telling me to stay calm, he's probably out killing something right now!"
Grievous glanced over at the wampa corpses. "I just finished a hunt, yes."
"You heard that!? I-I mean - anyway, uh, you are going to be back for the Life Day party...thing...right?"
Grievous was silent for a moment. "Life Day?"
"I-it's some Wookiee thing that Ciaran and Silas are celebrating, apparently...anyway are you going to be there?"
He glanced over to the wampa corpses and the unconscious Jar Jar again. "I believe so, though I have some things I must take care of before then."
"That's fine nice to know BYE"
The comlink went dead. Grievous shrugged to himself, then began to set up a call to the orbiting Karrabbac.
------------
"See, I told you it would be fine."
"I am never doing that again. Ever. If I have to I'll ask - uh...where is Oki anyway?"
"...I thought you were keeping an eye on her."
"I thought you were keeping an eye on her!"
------------
(Above) The Vault
Ventilation Shaft
Conspicuously Not Trapped, Though Oki Hasn't Noticed
Oki was sweating out what had to be half her weight as she moved through the ventilation shaft leading into The Vault. It had taken her months to find a new entrance into it, but now it was certain! She could finally get in and not get her cover blown at the last second!
...Honestly she didn't really know what she was going to do what she got in there but at this point it was the principle of the matter. It was because The Vault was there.
Slowly taking off a grate and dropping down, she scanned the immediate area around her. Relieved at not seeing any sign of anyone she started to move through the room, searching for something to-
She froze up as the front door opened and shut behind her.
"Ah, Miss...Oki was it? What brings you here?" To her dismay she immediately recognized the voice as Thrawn's - literally the absolute worst person she could have met. Thinking rapidly as she turned to face him her brain provided her with the only excuse she could come up with.
"I...uh...was here to surprise you! Yes! With an invitation to the Life Day party happening soon! That is definitely why I am in here," she said, desperately trying to look calm - and failing miserably.
"Ah, I see," Thrawn said, bringing up a hand to his chin. "Certainly an unusual way of doing things, but knowing your cousin it's hardly unexpected." He nodded affirmatively. "Very well, do tell her that I plan on attending. Now if you'll excuse me," he said, bowing slightly before moving off towards one of the exhibits.
Oki nodded politely, quickly left the room, and promptly collapsed against the hallway.
"I cannot believe he bought that."
-----------
As Thrawn looked over the carving that was gifted to Ciaran by the Wookiee engineers of Alaris Prime, he idly wondered if he should have let Oki off so easily...for all of a few seconds before concluding that Ciaran probably let her get in again - even if Oki didn't realize it.
-----------
"It's probably fine," Chora said, shaking her head. "She'll show up eventually. Right then, who else do we need to call?"
"There's Thrawn...buuut knowing him he probably already knows."
"Right...then there's Cheriss..."
-----------
Oracle
Engineering Bay
Occupants: 1 Annoyed Nightsister, 8 Confused Spider Droids, 1 Overly Excited Shard
"This machine is not only the first of its kind, but it will revolutionize warfare as we know it. It is equipped with the latest technology and has been fine-tuned to maximize its capabilities on the battlefield. Not only that but with the variety of technologies available to you it will be able to function in any combat environment - from the burning heat of Mustafar to the scorching sands of Tatooine to the cityscapes of Coruscant and even the depths of space itself, this machine will be able to operate at full capacity.
But most of all you must understand that you will not be piloting a mere machine, you will be piloting the future. A piece of technology so revolutionary that it will let you reshape any battlefield by its mere presence alone! With the firepower at your disposal, entire armies will fall before you!"
"Sair."
"Yes indeed, once you step into the cockpit you will have the power of a god -"
"Sair."
"Or a dem-"
"SAIR!"
The Shard engineer in question jolted in place as she processed her "audience" of a baffled/annoyed Asajj Ventress and the Spider Droid Hive, and while the droids didn't have facial expressions she could tell they were just as confused as Asajj. "What exactly was that?"
"Uh...I maaaaaay have gotten a bit carried away at the end."
Asajj rolled her eyes. "From what I understand of your prototype - which I would remind you has not even been built yet - would certainly be powerful in the hands of a skilled pilot and no doubt would be considerably effective on its own, but I doubt it would have the ability to fight an entire army. Alone. Without any support whatsoever."
"Unit 3 queries as to how a machine of any description can reach a state resembling a deity."
"Unit 2 supports query."
"Unit 5 supports query."
"Unit 7 supports query."
"LOOK, I GOT CARRIED AWAY ALRIGHT!?"
Asajj shook her head, then began to walk away. "This was a waste of my time anyway. If you want speech-making advice you should ask someone who is used to it."
"I told you that since you're most likely to be the test pilot-" The wind was cut from Cheriss' sails when her comlink went off. Groaning, she answered it with a terse "Can I help you?"
"Hey Cheriss, Larana. Just wanted to make sure you knew about the Life Day thing we're having."
"Oh right, that!" Cheriss said, lighting up immediately as Asajj turned back to face her with a look of resignation on her face. "Hey Asajj-"
"Knowing Ciaran I will be going whether I want to or not," she said in a flat tone as she started to leave again. "Consider me informed."
"Oh...uh...well I'm glad I don't have to do that in person." Larana said. "Anyway, I'll send you and her the invites, so be there if you can."
"Of course I'll be there! It sounds like it's going to be so much fun!"
"Knowing my cousin...it'll be...memorable if nothing else. See you there!"
----------
"Ohmygosh I'm soooo glad I didn't have to talk to Asajj."
"She's not going to hurt you these days-"
"It's the 'these days' part that scares me, Chora!"
"It's not that bad-"
"I heard she threw people into bulkheads when she first showed up! They barely recovered!"
"...Okay, that's...yeah, I didn't hear about that part honestly..."
"A-anyway, that leaves Jango since I heard Ciaran's handling the invites for her uh...advisors or whatever. We're agreed that the Silencer and HK should not be invited under any circumstances, right?"
"Yes. We want a party, not a bloodbath."
"Knowing how HK thinks he'd probably say they're both the same thing. Anyway, you're the diplomat, so you should call Jango."
----------
Mandalore
Guardians HQ, Sparring Field
That's It. No Snide Commentary Really
"You need to read your opponent better," Jango said to a Guardian trainee that was, to put it bluntly, getting his ass handed to him by Boba. "Also, you could stand to dodge more."
"Attacking is good, you should try it sometime."
"When I said 'attack' I meant 'actually try to cause pain,' not throw a bunch of fake punches."
"You should move to the - ah, never mind then, looks like you don't need to know that anymore."
"I know what the guidelines say but in this case there's no shame in surrendering..." Jango started to say before the poor bastard passed out after a direct punch from Boba. "Or falling unconscious."
Boba looked between his fallen opponent and his father worriedly as a nearby Guardian came to check up on him. "He's fine, but I don't think he's getting up any time soon." He smirked at Boba. "You did quite a number on him, Ad be Mand'alor."
"I've been telling you to stop calling me that," Boba said though without any real malice in his words, briefly glancing back at a lightly smiling Jango. "I have a name, you know," he said as he hauled the unconscious Guardian to his feet and started moving him towards the medbay.
As the two left, Jango noticed that "Lady Ciaran" herself was watching from one of the doorways. Excusing himself with a quick "I have to leave, personal matters," he made his way over to speak with the woman who most definitely was not Zam Wesell in disguise.
"You trying to cause a scene?"
"No, buuut people ask more questions about a random woman in a pilot's uniform than about Lady Ciaran," Zam said as she lifted her visor up to display conspicuously yellowish eyes. "Got a call from one of her cousins. Apparently they're throwing a big party or something. You're invited, and so is Boba and Arla if you want to bring them."
"...This can't end well."
"Oh no doubt. You're going to need someone you can trust at your back when it comes to a party like that. Good thing I'm so reliable, right?"
"I won't argue with that at a time like this..."
------------
"And that's everyone we need," Chora said. "Now then, all we need to do is-"
"GET READY TO ROCK!" a voice shouted, startling the two women in the room as one Dani Plenar casually strode into the room, glancing around and seemingly not even noticing Chora and Larana despite her earlier outburst. "Mmhmm...hmm...yes...no that's not gonna work..." she started muttering to herself, not even acknowledging Chora and Larana as she surveyed the room. "Not many side entrances, so I'll have to get a bit creative...Right!" She shouted, snapping her fingers as a dozen Agents suddenly entered the room and immediately stood at attention. "We're gonna have to be very precise with this, got it!? You two need to set the smoke machines there and there, the three of you need to set up holographic projectors in areas where there will be maximum exposure, the three of you need to set up the lighting, and your job is to make sure the pyrotechnics don't burn down the room. Hm...I wonder if Sair could...yeah, that'd be amazing..."
"PYROTECHNICS!?" Larana shrieked. "Are you trying to burn everyone alive?"
"Come on, it'll be great," Chora said, throwing an arm around Larana. "Dani's a professional (or so I've been told) that can handle it. It'll be fine, probably."
"Wait, what was that?"
"I said we should help her set up for the show!" Chora said, dragging a very worried Larana behind her...
------------
Two Days Later
Still The Reception Hall
But Now There's A Bunch More People And Stuff
The reception hall was now buzzing with people, from engineers to commanders to analysts to economists and other varied members of the Abyss Watchers, the attendees hailing from dozens of different worlds and species. That being said visible clusters of people were gathering; Thrawn was chatting away about artistry to a number of archaeology team leaders, Var Zheen and Cheriss were arguing with some of the science team about the validity of some of the more unusual ideas Cheriss had in the past few days, Greivous was displaying his wampa furs to the people brave enough to approach him and an eager Xruk, PR-1 was manning the bar while servicing a very plastered Gulan and Tyro and barely keeping up with Borvo's food orders...
Though at the center of the room was Ciaran and her family (as much as Asajj protested against being included in that description as usual), though conspicuously Silas and Galvin were missing.
"I knew Grandpa would be late, but it's unlike him to miss a party like this," Ciaran commented as casually downed a shot of alcohol. "I did tell him about it..."
"I realllllllllllly hope he's not bringing a new...uh...lady-friend or whatever," Larana said, visibly tipsy. "We've got - we've got - we got enough cousins. Ain't that right Oki?"
"Yeaaaahhh," she replied, equally drunk. "Hell, I - I don't even knooooooowwww if I'm actually related to you people," she said before giggling.
"Oh don't flatter yourself, girl," Chora said with a very wide smile. "I sssaaaww you hitting on half the guys in that bar on Nar Shaddaa that one time and you almost had ssssome takers before Ciaran dragged you away." She hiccuped. "Only a Cata has moves like that, girl."
Asajj simply shot a look of resignation at Ciaran. "Your family is insane."
"Hello pot, my name is kettle~"
"Don't rope me into this!"
"Why shouldn't I-" Ciaran cut off as she looked at one of the doorways. "Oh hey, there's Grandpa and Galvin...and...er...a pair of Wookiees?"
The four people in question entered the room and quickly made their way over, Silas looking cheerful, Galvin looking almost like he wanted to die, the Wookiee on the left with very noticeable scars looking around slightly disinterestedly, and the other trying very much to stay as far away from Galvin as he could.
"Uh...hi Grandpa," Ciaran said awkwardly as the foursome reached the table. "You uh...you do know that this is family, organization, and personal invite only, right?"
"Course I do! This is family!"
Everyone barring Galvin turned to stare at the two Wookiees.
"I knew it!" Larana shouted as she clutched her head. "I knew it! Oh hell, I can't unsee it now..."
"It is not like that!"
"Rrrreally?" Chora slurred.
"Yes, really!" Silas said, "...though I uh, understand why you'd think that. This is your uncle-in-law Tvrrizum," he said, pointing to the scarred Wookiee, "and your cousin-in-law Froffa."
"Okay...wut?" Oki managed to get out.
Tvrrizum started to grunt in Shirywook as a translator handled his speech for the benefit of everyone but Ciaran. "Master Silas once saved my life from a group of Trandoshan slavers and chose to adopt me as a 'son' for reasons beyond my understanding."
"I told you that it was because I didn't want a damn 'life-debt' and that my life was even more dangerous than being in slavery!"
"I still am confused as to why you did not simply accept the debt. It is a rare honor for-"
"Yeah yeah whatever, I adopted you and that's final."
"So...what's the story with the other one - Froffa?" Asajj said, slowly sounding out the name in question.
"I am an engineer like my father," he replied, "and I-" he looked at Galvin awkwardly.
"Look," Galvin said in a dull tone, "I was very drunk, I was very lonely, and I was very, very desperate. I did not realize you were a guy. Or my cousin-in-law."
Larana and Oki started to roar with laughter while Chora drunkenly patted Galvin on the shoulder. "Ish - it's okay, cuz. I know what it's like. Every time," she slurred as she shoved a mug into Galvin's hand.
"Every time," he morosely echoed before downing the entire drink.
"So that's how you knew about Life Day," Ciaran said, causally taking another drink. "Honestly I was wondering where you heard about it from when I told you about it."
"Yep!"
"This is rather unusual for me and Froffa, but hardly unenjoyable," Tvrrizum said. "Usually this is a more intimate affair among family-"
"And you are among family!" Silas shouted happily.
"Yes, I was going to ask-" Froffa started to say as he looked at everyone present. "It uh...it looks like your family consists of members of...four different species?"
"Five," Ciaran noted. "I'm a Miraluka, not a human."
"I am not included," Asajj protested.
"Yes you are~"
"R-right. How exactly-"
Froffa was interrupted as the speakers suddenly came on. "You all having a good time!?" Dani shouted, and loud cheering responded to her. "Well I can tell you that you're not having a good enough time because now the real show's about to start!"
With that lights came on and as Ciaran glanced around she noticed that a number of them seemed to be coming from the Spider Droid Hive - all of whom were hanging from the ceiling, their eyes serving as makeshift spotlights.
"Well start with a slow-ish number to get you guys in the mood," she said before beginning to sing to the cheering of the crowd.
"I told you all she'd be great," Ciaran said as she held up a glass. "To Life Day!"
"Hear hear!"
"A Wookiee as a family member," Asajj grumbled. "What's next? Another Shard like Sair?"
AN: This was a dumb and stupid idea that Teron partly had a hand in, but hopefully you've enjoyed this dumb stupid idea yourselves.
Have a happy Life Day and a Happy New Year everyone!
(As a side note, I want to reassure people that Cheriss' speech towards the beginning was written with nothing but love. In case fans of what I was referencing get worried
)
The bad news is that it's something much, much stupider than the actual plot.
Dr Snark Proudly Presents:
The Invisible Hand Holiday Special
Forefather's Charm, Zeltros OrbitThe Invisible Hand Holiday Special
Currently Traveling At Maximum Possible Speed
Also Being Pursued By The Majority Of The Zeltros Royal Guard
"DAMMIT YOU OLD BASTARD," Galvin screamed at his 'beloved' Grandfather Silas from the corridor as the Forefather's Charm weaved and bobbed to dodge the laser fire coming at it. "I finally, finally found another chick that wasn't related to me, and we had it-" He was cut off when Silas jinked right, causing him to go flying into a wall.
"Well look at it this way, now you don't have to explain to Cheriss about why you were hitting on another girl," Silas casually commented as he continued to dodge fire.
"Ohnononono, you're not changing the subject," Galvin said as he staggered to his feet. "You - you somehow managed to piss off all of the Royal Guards. So tell me, was it one of the princesses or the queen you were in bed with?"
"Not important!"
"I disagree!"
"Look, what's important is that we're on our way back to the Oracle and -" the ship shook as a shot managed to connect with it - "we'll be celebrating Life Day before you know it!"
"I don't care about whatever 'Life Day' is, and quit dodging the question-"
"Prep for hyperspace!"
"I HATE YOU-"
-----------
Oracle
Reception Area
Currently Being Spruced Up For The Holidays
Chora idly hummed a jaunty tune to herself as she set up decorations around the reception area for the impromptu Life Day party that Ciaran and Silas had agreed "had to be a thing" in their words. While it was a bit out of the blue she wasn't going to turn down the excuse for a good party.
"So why are we doing this again?" Larana shouted to her from across the room. "Isn't Life Day more of a Wookiee thing? I think I remember hearing that somewhere..."
Chora shrugged. "Technically it's a Wookiee holiday observed every three years, but it's not unheard of for people to use it as an excuse to party. Like we are right now! Just relax and roll with it!" she said as she finished with her decorations.
"Oh, I'm fine with an excuse to take time off of work," Larana replied as she moved over to Chora, "But I'm more wondering how Grandfather heard about it. Ciaran I can understand what with the time she's spent on Kashyyyk, but I don't know how he-" Her face paled. "Oh no. Oh nonononoono-"
Chora slapped Larana across the face. "Rule number 1: Never think about your grandfather's sex life. Ever. So don't think about that thing you were just thinking about."
Larana gulped down a breath of air as she shook her head, her face still burning with embarrassment. "R-right right right, not thinking about those horrible mental images any more for the sake of my sanity anyway we're done here right?"
"We're done with decorating, Ciaran says that the entertainment's going to be 'in-house' apparently and that one 'Dani Plenar' is going to be handling that," Chora said as she looked over a datapad, "So...now all we need to do is make sure all of the guests are coming here!"
They both looked at each other.
"I'm not calling Grievous." Larana said flatly.
"Oh come on, it'll be fine," Chora replied. "It is not going to be that bad," she said as she tried to reassure herself.
------------
Hoth
Snowfield
What else do you want from me? It's Hoth. There's nothing but snow, snow and more snow there.
The majority of the time Hoth was fairly tranquil, with only the sounds of wind blowing and the odd baying of a tauntaun breaking the silence.
However today the sound of a screaming Gungan echoed through the air as one "General" Jar Jar Binks was running for his life from a pair of wampas chasing after him. He didn't have any idea where he was going but given that the monsters chasing him were big, angry, and had very sharp claws and teeth, he didn't particularly care just so long as it was away from them.
After a moment of running for his life the incredibly unfortunate Jar Jar heard a loud bang echo through the air, followed by what sounded like two large impacts in the snow. Stopping and veeeerrrrryyy slowly turning around, he was happy to see that the both wampas were now very clearly dead. Definitely. Probably. They looked dead, and they weren't moving...
Jar Jar inched closer to one of the wampas, nudging the body with his foot-
Only for its hand to reach out and grab his leg. He started to scream again and tried to yank his foot away, but to no avail as the wampa held him in a very literal death grip before it suddenly lost all strength. As Jar Jar quickly realized, it was because his
"Excellent work, General Binks," he said with absolute sincerity as he began to check the bodies over. "I must admit I was having difficulty even locating one of these creatures, yet you managed to locate a pair of them and managed to lure them to a position where I could kill both of them in one shot. Your resourcefulness and good fortune continues to astound me."
Jar Jar processed this for a moment, then promptly passed out. Grievous glanced over at the unconscious Gungan, shrugged, and went on examining the wampa corpses before his communicator went off.
"Grievous."
"U-uh h-hi, nice to s-speak with you-"
"Larana, calm down."
"Quit telling me to stay calm, he's probably out killing something right now!"
Grievous glanced over at the wampa corpses. "I just finished a hunt, yes."
"You heard that!? I-I mean - anyway, uh, you are going to be back for the Life Day party...thing...right?"
Grievous was silent for a moment. "Life Day?"
"I-it's some Wookiee thing that Ciaran and Silas are celebrating, apparently...anyway are you going to be there?"
He glanced over to the wampa corpses and the unconscious Jar Jar again. "I believe so, though I have some things I must take care of before then."
"That's fine nice to know BYE"
The comlink went dead. Grievous shrugged to himself, then began to set up a call to the orbiting Karrabbac.
------------
"See, I told you it would be fine."
"I am never doing that again. Ever. If I have to I'll ask - uh...where is Oki anyway?"
"...I thought you were keeping an eye on her."
"I thought you were keeping an eye on her!"
------------
(Above) The Vault
Ventilation Shaft
Conspicuously Not Trapped, Though Oki Hasn't Noticed
Oki was sweating out what had to be half her weight as she moved through the ventilation shaft leading into The Vault. It had taken her months to find a new entrance into it, but now it was certain! She could finally get in and not get her cover blown at the last second!
...Honestly she didn't really know what she was going to do what she got in there but at this point it was the principle of the matter. It was because The Vault was there.
Slowly taking off a grate and dropping down, she scanned the immediate area around her. Relieved at not seeing any sign of anyone she started to move through the room, searching for something to-
She froze up as the front door opened and shut behind her.
"Ah, Miss...Oki was it? What brings you here?" To her dismay she immediately recognized the voice as Thrawn's - literally the absolute worst person she could have met. Thinking rapidly as she turned to face him her brain provided her with the only excuse she could come up with.
"I...uh...was here to surprise you! Yes! With an invitation to the Life Day party happening soon! That is definitely why I am in here," she said, desperately trying to look calm - and failing miserably.
"Ah, I see," Thrawn said, bringing up a hand to his chin. "Certainly an unusual way of doing things, but knowing your cousin it's hardly unexpected." He nodded affirmatively. "Very well, do tell her that I plan on attending. Now if you'll excuse me," he said, bowing slightly before moving off towards one of the exhibits.
Oki nodded politely, quickly left the room, and promptly collapsed against the hallway.
"I cannot believe he bought that."
-----------
As Thrawn looked over the carving that was gifted to Ciaran by the Wookiee engineers of Alaris Prime, he idly wondered if he should have let Oki off so easily...for all of a few seconds before concluding that Ciaran probably let her get in again - even if Oki didn't realize it.
-----------
"It's probably fine," Chora said, shaking her head. "She'll show up eventually. Right then, who else do we need to call?"
"There's Thrawn...buuut knowing him he probably already knows."
"Right...then there's Cheriss..."
-----------
Oracle
Engineering Bay
Occupants: 1 Annoyed Nightsister, 8 Confused Spider Droids, 1 Overly Excited Shard
"This machine is not only the first of its kind, but it will revolutionize warfare as we know it. It is equipped with the latest technology and has been fine-tuned to maximize its capabilities on the battlefield. Not only that but with the variety of technologies available to you it will be able to function in any combat environment - from the burning heat of Mustafar to the scorching sands of Tatooine to the cityscapes of Coruscant and even the depths of space itself, this machine will be able to operate at full capacity.
But most of all you must understand that you will not be piloting a mere machine, you will be piloting the future. A piece of technology so revolutionary that it will let you reshape any battlefield by its mere presence alone! With the firepower at your disposal, entire armies will fall before you!"
"Sair."
"Yes indeed, once you step into the cockpit you will have the power of a god -"
"Sair."
"Or a dem-"
"SAIR!"
The Shard engineer in question jolted in place as she processed her "audience" of a baffled/annoyed Asajj Ventress and the Spider Droid Hive, and while the droids didn't have facial expressions she could tell they were just as confused as Asajj. "What exactly was that?"
"Uh...I maaaaaay have gotten a bit carried away at the end."
Asajj rolled her eyes. "From what I understand of your prototype - which I would remind you has not even been built yet - would certainly be powerful in the hands of a skilled pilot and no doubt would be considerably effective on its own, but I doubt it would have the ability to fight an entire army. Alone. Without any support whatsoever."
"Unit 3 queries as to how a machine of any description can reach a state resembling a deity."
"Unit 2 supports query."
"Unit 5 supports query."
"Unit 7 supports query."
"LOOK, I GOT CARRIED AWAY ALRIGHT!?"
Asajj shook her head, then began to walk away. "This was a waste of my time anyway. If you want speech-making advice you should ask someone who is used to it."
"I told you that since you're most likely to be the test pilot-" The wind was cut from Cheriss' sails when her comlink went off. Groaning, she answered it with a terse "Can I help you?"
"Hey Cheriss, Larana. Just wanted to make sure you knew about the Life Day thing we're having."
"Oh right, that!" Cheriss said, lighting up immediately as Asajj turned back to face her with a look of resignation on her face. "Hey Asajj-"
"Knowing Ciaran I will be going whether I want to or not," she said in a flat tone as she started to leave again. "Consider me informed."
"Oh...uh...well I'm glad I don't have to do that in person." Larana said. "Anyway, I'll send you and her the invites, so be there if you can."
"Of course I'll be there! It sounds like it's going to be so much fun!"
"Knowing my cousin...it'll be...memorable if nothing else. See you there!"
----------
"Ohmygosh I'm soooo glad I didn't have to talk to Asajj."
"She's not going to hurt you these days-"
"It's the 'these days' part that scares me, Chora!"
"It's not that bad-"
"I heard she threw people into bulkheads when she first showed up! They barely recovered!"
"...Okay, that's...yeah, I didn't hear about that part honestly..."
"A-anyway, that leaves Jango since I heard Ciaran's handling the invites for her uh...advisors or whatever. We're agreed that the Silencer and HK should not be invited under any circumstances, right?"
"Yes. We want a party, not a bloodbath."
"Knowing how HK thinks he'd probably say they're both the same thing. Anyway, you're the diplomat, so you should call Jango."
----------
Mandalore
Guardians HQ, Sparring Field
That's It. No Snide Commentary Really
"You need to read your opponent better," Jango said to a Guardian trainee that was, to put it bluntly, getting his ass handed to him by Boba. "Also, you could stand to dodge more."
"Attacking is good, you should try it sometime."
"When I said 'attack' I meant 'actually try to cause pain,' not throw a bunch of fake punches."
"You should move to the - ah, never mind then, looks like you don't need to know that anymore."
"I know what the guidelines say but in this case there's no shame in surrendering..." Jango started to say before the poor bastard passed out after a direct punch from Boba. "Or falling unconscious."
Boba looked between his fallen opponent and his father worriedly as a nearby Guardian came to check up on him. "He's fine, but I don't think he's getting up any time soon." He smirked at Boba. "You did quite a number on him, Ad be Mand'alor."
"I've been telling you to stop calling me that," Boba said though without any real malice in his words, briefly glancing back at a lightly smiling Jango. "I have a name, you know," he said as he hauled the unconscious Guardian to his feet and started moving him towards the medbay.
As the two left, Jango noticed that "Lady Ciaran" herself was watching from one of the doorways. Excusing himself with a quick "I have to leave, personal matters," he made his way over to speak with the woman who most definitely was not Zam Wesell in disguise.
"You trying to cause a scene?"
"No, buuut people ask more questions about a random woman in a pilot's uniform than about Lady Ciaran," Zam said as she lifted her visor up to display conspicuously yellowish eyes. "Got a call from one of her cousins. Apparently they're throwing a big party or something. You're invited, and so is Boba and Arla if you want to bring them."
"...This can't end well."
"Oh no doubt. You're going to need someone you can trust at your back when it comes to a party like that. Good thing I'm so reliable, right?"
"I won't argue with that at a time like this..."
------------
"And that's everyone we need," Chora said. "Now then, all we need to do is-"
"GET READY TO ROCK!" a voice shouted, startling the two women in the room as one Dani Plenar casually strode into the room, glancing around and seemingly not even noticing Chora and Larana despite her earlier outburst. "Mmhmm...hmm...yes...no that's not gonna work..." she started muttering to herself, not even acknowledging Chora and Larana as she surveyed the room. "Not many side entrances, so I'll have to get a bit creative...Right!" She shouted, snapping her fingers as a dozen Agents suddenly entered the room and immediately stood at attention. "We're gonna have to be very precise with this, got it!? You two need to set the smoke machines there and there, the three of you need to set up holographic projectors in areas where there will be maximum exposure, the three of you need to set up the lighting, and your job is to make sure the pyrotechnics don't burn down the room. Hm...I wonder if Sair could...yeah, that'd be amazing..."
"PYROTECHNICS!?" Larana shrieked. "Are you trying to burn everyone alive?"
"Come on, it'll be great," Chora said, throwing an arm around Larana. "Dani's a professional (or so I've been told) that can handle it. It'll be fine, probably."
"Wait, what was that?"
"I said we should help her set up for the show!" Chora said, dragging a very worried Larana behind her...
------------
Two Days Later
Still The Reception Hall
But Now There's A Bunch More People And Stuff
The reception hall was now buzzing with people, from engineers to commanders to analysts to economists and other varied members of the Abyss Watchers, the attendees hailing from dozens of different worlds and species. That being said visible clusters of people were gathering; Thrawn was chatting away about artistry to a number of archaeology team leaders, Var Zheen and Cheriss were arguing with some of the science team about the validity of some of the more unusual ideas Cheriss had in the past few days, Greivous was displaying his wampa furs to the people brave enough to approach him and an eager Xruk, PR-1 was manning the bar while servicing a very plastered Gulan and Tyro and barely keeping up with Borvo's food orders...
Though at the center of the room was Ciaran and her family (as much as Asajj protested against being included in that description as usual), though conspicuously Silas and Galvin were missing.
"I knew Grandpa would be late, but it's unlike him to miss a party like this," Ciaran commented as casually downed a shot of alcohol. "I did tell him about it..."
"I realllllllllllly hope he's not bringing a new...uh...lady-friend or whatever," Larana said, visibly tipsy. "We've got - we've got - we got enough cousins. Ain't that right Oki?"
"Yeaaaahhh," she replied, equally drunk. "Hell, I - I don't even knooooooowwww if I'm actually related to you people," she said before giggling.
"Oh don't flatter yourself, girl," Chora said with a very wide smile. "I sssaaaww you hitting on half the guys in that bar on Nar Shaddaa that one time and you almost had ssssome takers before Ciaran dragged you away." She hiccuped. "Only a Cata has moves like that, girl."
Asajj simply shot a look of resignation at Ciaran. "Your family is insane."
"Hello pot, my name is kettle~"
"Don't rope me into this!"
"Why shouldn't I-" Ciaran cut off as she looked at one of the doorways. "Oh hey, there's Grandpa and Galvin...and...er...a pair of Wookiees?"
The four people in question entered the room and quickly made their way over, Silas looking cheerful, Galvin looking almost like he wanted to die, the Wookiee on the left with very noticeable scars looking around slightly disinterestedly, and the other trying very much to stay as far away from Galvin as he could.
"Uh...hi Grandpa," Ciaran said awkwardly as the foursome reached the table. "You uh...you do know that this is family, organization, and personal invite only, right?"
"Course I do! This is family!"
Everyone barring Galvin turned to stare at the two Wookiees.
"I knew it!" Larana shouted as she clutched her head. "I knew it! Oh hell, I can't unsee it now..."
"It is not like that!"
"Rrrreally?" Chora slurred.
"Yes, really!" Silas said, "...though I uh, understand why you'd think that. This is your uncle-in-law Tvrrizum," he said, pointing to the scarred Wookiee, "and your cousin-in-law Froffa."
"Okay...wut?" Oki managed to get out.
Tvrrizum started to grunt in Shirywook as a translator handled his speech for the benefit of everyone but Ciaran. "Master Silas once saved my life from a group of Trandoshan slavers and chose to adopt me as a 'son' for reasons beyond my understanding."
"I told you that it was because I didn't want a damn 'life-debt' and that my life was even more dangerous than being in slavery!"
"I still am confused as to why you did not simply accept the debt. It is a rare honor for-"
"Yeah yeah whatever, I adopted you and that's final."
"So...what's the story with the other one - Froffa?" Asajj said, slowly sounding out the name in question.
"I am an engineer like my father," he replied, "and I-" he looked at Galvin awkwardly.
"Look," Galvin said in a dull tone, "I was very drunk, I was very lonely, and I was very, very desperate. I did not realize you were a guy. Or my cousin-in-law."
Larana and Oki started to roar with laughter while Chora drunkenly patted Galvin on the shoulder. "Ish - it's okay, cuz. I know what it's like. Every time," she slurred as she shoved a mug into Galvin's hand.
"Every time," he morosely echoed before downing the entire drink.
"So that's how you knew about Life Day," Ciaran said, causally taking another drink. "Honestly I was wondering where you heard about it from when I told you about it."
"Yep!"
"This is rather unusual for me and Froffa, but hardly unenjoyable," Tvrrizum said. "Usually this is a more intimate affair among family-"
"And you are among family!" Silas shouted happily.
"Yes, I was going to ask-" Froffa started to say as he looked at everyone present. "It uh...it looks like your family consists of members of...four different species?"
"Five," Ciaran noted. "I'm a Miraluka, not a human."
"I am not included," Asajj protested.
"Yes you are~"
"R-right. How exactly-"
Froffa was interrupted as the speakers suddenly came on. "You all having a good time!?" Dani shouted, and loud cheering responded to her. "Well I can tell you that you're not having a good enough time because now the real show's about to start!"
With that lights came on and as Ciaran glanced around she noticed that a number of them seemed to be coming from the Spider Droid Hive - all of whom were hanging from the ceiling, their eyes serving as makeshift spotlights.
"Well start with a slow-ish number to get you guys in the mood," she said before beginning to sing to the cheering of the crowd.
"I told you all she'd be great," Ciaran said as she held up a glass. "To Life Day!"
"Hear hear!"
"A Wookiee as a family member," Asajj grumbled. "What's next? Another Shard like Sair?"
AN: This was a dumb and stupid idea that Teron partly had a hand in, but hopefully you've enjoyed this dumb stupid idea yourselves.
Have a happy Life Day and a Happy New Year everyone!
(As a side note, I want to reassure people that Cheriss' speech towards the beginning was written with nothing but love. In case fans of what I was referencing get worried
)
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Oh god damn it I was right.
Daecl
CURSED BY THE DICE
Lovely update.
I'm so glad that the spider droid hive is a thing now.
I'm so glad that the spider droid hive is a thing now.
- Location
- Sweden
Bad Galvin, bad! Don't cheat on the adorable mad scientist.
That does seem like a very good idea when it comes to this family.
I think it's supposed to be Boba there, not Jango.
- Location
- Reno Nv
Man that was a great update, happy new year in about 20 min everyone.
Khepri14
Thus kindly I scatter...
- Location
- Following the wind
Goddamn, Cheriss and the Hive continue to be my favorite amongst the cast of characters @Dr. Snark and @Teron have made up/brought in from canon.
Also, Happy New Year to everyone!
Also, Happy New Year to everyone!
TheLurker
Random Omnipotent Lazy-As-Fuck Being
- Location
- The space beyond the stars
They are beautiful, and amazing, and I love them.
Crafter of War
The Dorf
- Location
- Bend
Happy New Year!
Say, it may be a stupid question, but if asked, would Asajj still call herself a sith or a dark force user?
- Location
- MN
that was fun. And still light years better then the actual star wars special.
- Location
- USA
Lovely way to cap off a year and usher in a new one. Happy new years everyone.
- Location
- At the Edge of Insanity
More rambling from me.
Menawhile, HK-47 and Silencer are essentially doing this:
Yep.
HAHAHAHAHA! Lovely insanity! And the Wookiees are there too! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Menawhile, HK-47 and Silencer are essentially doing this:
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Max Uristwell
Custodian of the Toobs
- Location
- United Kingdom
Query: What is a Wang Chung?
- Location
- At the Edge of Insanity
... Now I'm expecting one of the spider droids to actually ask that in an update or omake.
Yes she would. She still does use the Dark Side of the Force, only with far, far, far more control now and she's got a Darth title. So yeah, she's still a Sith and a Dark Side user.
Do remember that the tenets of those that follow the teachings of the Sith have been changed, altered, corrupted, and straight-up mutilated to mean completely different things every single time the Jedi find their asses and hand the previously invincible incarnation of the Sith Empire an ass-whupping so bad that the rest Galaxy suddenly remembers why the Jedi were so feared in their histories. It's a vicious cycle of sorts yo.
This was hilarious. And awesome. Hilarisome? Awerious? Yes, Awerious. I like that word. Awerious.
Thanks for the fun times so far and have an awesome year Dr. Snark!
Dr. Snark
Exactly As Planned...Probably
- Location
- Right where I want to be
- Pronouns
- He/His/Him
Right, while my brain's on it, time to actually acknowledge the things people have done.
This is legit, and Zam is good at proactivity. Canon, +10.
Well...uh...this was kind of the basis for the Holiday Special so...yeah of course it's canon. +10.
I gotta admit I love the idea of the warring Empires. Have the +10.
Negaverse omakes are fun, and funnily enough this is the second time I've been involved in one. I'm not sure if I prefer "Prof. Deadpan" or "Mr. Boojum." +10 for alt-me being kind of a dick with the background rolls.
Oooh, very nice. One reaaalllly small detail is that Asajj's eyes aren't violet, they've paled slightly in color because the DNA she got was from before Ciaran was genemodded with Zeltron DNA. Less overlap that way. This will be canon once the Ahsoka thing wraps up, +10.
This is legit, and Zam is good at proactivity. Canon, +10.
Well...uh...this was kind of the basis for the Holiday Special so...yeah of course it's canon. +10.
I gotta admit I love the idea of the warring Empires. Have the +10.
Negaverse omakes are fun, and funnily enough this is the second time I've been involved in one. I'm not sure if I prefer "Prof. Deadpan" or "Mr. Boojum." +10 for alt-me being kind of a dick with the background rolls.
Oooh, very nice. One reaaalllly small detail is that Asajj's eyes aren't violet, they've paled slightly in color because the DNA she got was from before Ciaran was genemodded with Zeltron DNA. Less overlap that way. This will be canon once the Ahsoka thing wraps up, +10.
ConfusedPotato
Unverified Verifier
- Location
- Australia
I can't seem to find the other negaverse omake, can someone link it?
Dr. Snark links it above -- it's the one posted by Killerflood.
ConfusedPotato
Unverified Verifier
- Location
- Australia
I meant the other one, the one in which he was Prof. Deadpan.
- Location
- Sweden
It's not something from this quest. It's from a Kingdom Hearts quest