Little Ritsuka and her Loving Family (Fate/Grand Order)

Fairly sure there's a canon guy who lived in the mountains away from any civilisation and human contact in general, and thus became absurdly physically powerful since there was nothing to go "that isn't supposed to work like that". But as he came into contact with civilisation, Human Common Sense started to erode that power until he was left at regular human levels.

Soujuurou Shizuki is that person name.

And he one of the strongest human in Type-Moon verse but only as far as normal human standard goes. Against most supernatural entity he can easily be kill by them. He was able to defeat Lugh Beowulf because Lught was perfect and never experienced being kill. When Soujuurou kill Lugh and Lugh revive from his temporary death, he found that the trauma so great he suffer from a mental breakdown.

Soujuurou won not because he was strong but rather Lugh was perfect. When Lugh perfection was shattered, he become suspendable to defeat and death.

It still a pretty awesome fight. A normal human bringing down a Saber Class Level opponents.




Alexander, Nero, Medb, possibly Babbage. All of them have Reality Marbles, and with the possible exception of Medb none of them have a distorted view of reality. On top of that Alexander sucks at magecraft in general, and Nero never needed to bother with how broken Imperial Privledge is.

Nero reality marble is not a true reality marble rather a magecraft on the level of one. It so powerful that is treated as one because the final result is the same as a true reality marble. An alien world that bends reality to the law of the caster.
 
My word, i've missed quite a bit of discussion it would seem.....on a side note....I still can't believe how civil all these arguments were....
It was more of a debate. We provided examples to each other and offered perspectives. While we didn't change each others minds, we were able to come to an understanding that both sides had a point.
 
It was more of a debate. We provided examples to each other and offered perspectives. While we didn't change each others minds, we were able to come to an understanding that both sides had a point.
And a rather pleasant one, I might add.


So rare to see one of those outside of QQ, where they have the advantage of everyone almost always being relaxed for obvious reasons.

Alexander, Nero, Medb, possibly Babbage. All of them have Reality Marbles, and with the possible exception of Medb none of them have a distorted view of reality. On top of that Alexander sucks at magecraft in general, and Nero never needed to bother with how broken Imperial Privledge is.
Nero has already been addressed, and you yourself justified Medb, so let's move on to the others.

Babbage has this:
Single-MindednessEdit

Single-Mindedness (一意専心, Ichiisenshin?) is the ability to immerse oneself in something, exhibiting a superhuman degree of focus.[96]
Rank User(s)
B Thomas Edison
It was said that Edison slept for an average of only three hours.[96]
C Charles Babbage
In Babbage's case, it is demonstrated when performing actions like calculations, planning, and building. Also improves his Item Construction Skill.[96]
He also has had a nigh-obsession with automata and related subjects since an early age, as shown here:
Mechanized ArmorEdit

Mechanized Armor (機関の鎧, Kikan no Yoroi?) is an armor crafted using steam-engine technology that covers Charles Babbage's entire body. His outward appearance looks like an enormous steel gentleman. It cannot be removed.[96]
Rank User(s)
EX Charles Babbage
His STR and END parameters are improved by one rank, and the various steam-powered machinery within allows for an additional temporary boost of two plus modifiers (++) to three parameters. While boosting, his AGI characteristic falls one rank.
Since he was 8 years old, Babbage was deeply attracted to automata. It is said that the first automaton he met was a female-design, which he met in the workshop of an inventor family with the name of Merlin.[96]
Finally, there's the NP itself:
Dimension of Steam: Gorgeous World of Ashes (絢爛なりし灰燼世界ディメンジョン・オブ・スチーム, Genran'nari shi Kaijin SekaiDimenjon obu Suchīmu?) is the Noble Phantasm of Charles Babbage. The "Difference Engine" and "Analytical Engine" that was designed before in his lifetime; had it been truly completed, the brilliant steam engine he had strived for would have finally arrived in the civilized world. In other words, this Noble Phantasm is the sublimation of Babbage's craving and reverie for his dreamed of future carried in his very heart and the mechanical armor that wraps his body.[1][2]

In short, he is passionate enough about his dreams and ambitions that he learned how to browbeat reality into making them happen. His dream, as it so happens, was to change the whole world through the power of steam.


Next, Broskandar.

Ionioi Hetairoi: Army of the King (王の軍勢アイオニオン・ヘタイロイ, Ō no GunzeiAionion Hetairoi?)("Companions" in Ionian) is the ultimate Noble Phantasm of Rider, an EX-rank "super Noble Phantasm" as described by Tokiomi Tohsaka that is said to rival Gilgamesh's.[4][5] The trump card of the King of Conquerors, it summons a Reality Marble that embodies Alexander the Great's dreams and philosophies as a king and the bond formed with his subjects, his life sublimated as a Noble Phantasm.[6] Like how Saber's Excalibur can be called the physical actualization of her ideals as a king, Ionioi Hetairoi is the actualization of Alexander's commanding abilities and his kingship. It is an irregular Reality Marble compared to those used by others. Normally, only a magus or something beyond normal reality like Demons are capable of materializing the environment inside their minds, and as Alexander is neither, reproducing it alone is impossible for him. It comes about through the combined efforts of his personal guard who all shared his dreams and pledged allegiance to him after many victories and defeats, even after death and becoming Heroic Spirits on their own as well. They and their king recreate the land in which they once marched and shared many joys and sorrows, as it is imprinted upon the heart of each soldier, allowing them to bring about a sand-filled expanse roaring with hot and dry desert winds under the scorching sun and cloudless, clear skies without anything to obscure the everlasting horizon. This Noble Phantasm drags the enemies into a terrain that has no obstacles on the desert battlefield. It also maximizes the Charisma of the King of Conquerors Iskandar.[2]

Once again, the power of belief and passion about one's dreams and whatnot browbeats reality. Only this time they are ganging up on it.

It is worth noting that Babbage's RM is internal, it never expands beyond the limits of his power armour, at most spitting things out of it. Much like Nrvnqsr Chaos' RM, Lair of the Beast King, this means that Gaia won't get pissy about someone plopping a mini-layer on top of the proper uppermost world layer, since it remains inside the bounds of an individual's person and thus doesn't infringe on Gaia's domain.

His form is owed to his Reality Marble, the Lair of the Beast King (獣王の巣, Jūō no Su?), which allows him to absorb and merge his existence with the lives of other creatures and manipulate them in the form of chaos. It is different from normal Reality Marbles that are superimposed upon the world, as he only deploys it within his own body. The corrective impulses of the world don't see this usage as a contradiction, so the cost of maintaining it is much lower than normal.


This explains why Babbage can do it solo while Iskandar has to do it through the power of friendship.
 
Last edited:
I apologize if I took things out of context. Honestly, I skimmed the second half of the back and forth because I became increasingly frustrated going through it because I have zero intention of having Ritsuka directly participating in combat at any point during this story and as such it was completely irrelevant to my writing. Sometimes it feels like I either get zero response to my stories, or the response offers no actual insight or thoughts relevant to the story and just diverges into loosely related tangents that don't provide me with anything. And as a writer, that's very frustrating because it means that I'm not getting anything from the thread other than the vague idea that people enjoy the story. Which is nice, but doesn't help me improve or give me further inspiration.
I take it you'd like some feedback on your writing, then? Okay, here goes nothing;

Your work feels rather rushed. This is a pretty common flaw in writing - one that I'm susceptible of myself, as can be seen in the omake I posted - so you shouldn't feel bad about it or anything, but it is still a flaw that needs to be addressed if you want to improve your writing. What I mean by "rushed" is that things feel very fast-paced, to the detriment of the story. For example; your characterisation is solid with each character having their own distinct personality, but we never really get a chance to know them - we rarely, if ever, get to see anything other than their dialogue, which makes it hard to get a good grasp of them. Another example would be your humour; they feel more like jokes that were inserted into the text rather than something which was organically built into the story (this can also be tied to the characterisation: its hard to tell whether its in-character for someone to make a dry remark in reaction to someone else's actions when we don't actually know how that character reacts to things in general due to not getting to see their thoughts or getting descriptions of them doing things) due to there being little-to-no build up to the humour.

Actually, I think I thought of a better way to describe this flaw than "rushed" - it feels more like you're trying to portray a comic or animation through text than it feels like you're trying to tell a story. In a comic or animation you can get away with really only writing dialogue because, well, that's all that needs to be written; the scene, characters, etc... are all there for people to visually see. In a story there is no visual to accompany the text, there's just the text itself, so if you want to try to portray something - an environment, a character, a dialogue, etc - you need to actually detail it all out in the text itself rather than leave it to the imagination.

Now, because you're writing a fanfic of FGO you have an advantage: (most of) your readers already know what your characters look like due to having seen pictures of them, so you don't need to be as detailed in your description of them. Its kind of like in the original VN; because there are images accompanying the text, Nasu didn't need to be as descriptive about certain things - however, these were only still images, so he still needed to use the text to describe plenty of stuff. You have an advantage that someone writing from scratch wouldn't, but you still need to actually use the text to paint the medium rather than leave almost all of it to the reader's memory/imagination.

So, to sum it all up in actual advice: slow down your pace and take the time to properly describe things in your text.
Treat it like a story, rather than a comic or animation.
Don't be afraid to use more detail - it might lengthen the story & make it more tiring to write, but it will make it more engrossing.
People aren't going to get bored of your story because it wasn't fast-paced enough, but you don't need to make it super long and detailed.

I dunno, this was just me semi-rambling about the main thing I don't like about the story. Maybe others feel differently, I mean the story has plenty of people liking its posts so its obviously doing pretty well. Hopefully this was at least a little helpful, though.
 
It's far harder to find art of Ritsuka in the Prisma Sapphire outfit than I had hoped. But Prisma Codes has given me some ideas so I'll hopefully have at least a snip out here soon. :)
 
I can't wait to see Illya and Chloe's mind being blown by who Ritsuka's parents are.

Edit: On another note here's some more Little!Gudako fanart.


 
Last edited:
I can't wait to see Illya and Chloe's mind being blown by who Ritsuka's parents are.

Ritsuka: Let's go save Miyu, papa!

EMIYA: Of course I got dragged into the magical girl mission. This is just my luck.

Illya: You look really familiar... Could he actually be the spirit in the Archer card?

Ritsuka: We can call mama and ask her to do it instead, papa.

Rin: *suddenly appears on the communication hologram* I recognize one of Master Zelretch's Mystic Codes when I see it. Forget it. You can handle this one.

Illya: *expression of distinct shock* Rin?! How is Rin married to a Heroic Spirit?!

EMIYA: Right. I'm the Heroic Spirit EMIYA. Let's get along, alright Illya?

Illya: Emiya? Like Papa and Onii-chan?

EMIYA: Shirou Emiya. That's me.

Illya:
Rin has a child with onii-chan. Rin and onii-chan did things....

Ritsuka: Let's go save your friend, auntie!

Illya: I'm too young to be an auntie!
 
The other Cu chuckled. "It's not like we haven't handled impossible odds before. Remember that time with the clan?"

CasCu groaned. "Yeah, I remember that one. I don't care how crazy this corrupted Joan is, she can't be as bad as that woman."

Somewhere in another time, Scathach sneazes into her meed. "My student is talking about me in a bad light. Again. Maybe I should pay him a visit, do some damage control."
 
Not to mention what would happened to poor Berserker. Everytime they are in the same room, Illya-chan would start hyperventilating. At minimum.
 
Why tho?

Prisma Illya manga showed that Berserkah and Illya's relationship somehow transcends space and time.
I mean, probably, there's this big disconcert between having Heracles inside you, and having Berserker Heracles, 15 ft. big granite-y muscles and all besides you. Also, it seems that Illya summoned was Illya before 3rei, in which she still hadn't matured that far yet.
 
It just occurred to me that Skadi would feel right at home in the Prisma Codes event.
I mean, look at her!


Ritsuka would be staring at her with sparkles in her eyes for hours.
 
I can't wait to see Illya and Chloe's mind being blown by who Ritsuka's parents are.

Edit: On another note here's some more Little!Gudako fanart.




Technically chloe would be ritsuka sister since Ilya is her mom and shirou her dad. If we go by her being born from a piece of Ilya while archer was inside her, with archer then becoming her base.

Shocked they never tried to use this idea for a joke in the show.
 
Last edited:
Technically chloe would be ritsuka sister since Ilya is her mom and shirou her dad. If we go by her being born from a piece of Ilya while archer was inside her, with archer then becoming her base.

Shocked they never tried to use this idea for a joke in the show.
"I see know. This is hell."

"Welcome to My Side, my stupid delusional self."

"Oh God, Demiya had multiplied. Demiya had multiplied. WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!?!?"
 
I can't wait to see Illya and Chloe's mind being blown by who Ritsuka's parents are.
That's of course IF she isn't fused with LRahLF Illya.

On the subject of the Prisma Illya event and that particular fan art:
1) Magical Girl (Gentlman!) Teach chan became real. Complete with mini-skirt.
2) As I've said on other threads, Ozymandias was clearly using his friendly duel monsters deck against us. He didn't even use God Cards.

Technically chloe would be ritsuka sister since Ilya is her mom and shirou her dad. If we go by her being born from a piece of Ilya while archer was inside her, with archer then becoming her base.

Okay, I HAD considered that, but not at the time. In this continuity I can imagine a fused Illya making jokes about this a lot. Something involving NTR.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top