Talking Goslings
At the breakfast table inside of the O'Brian castle, Mary poked at her pancakes in boredom. The eldest child was rather overdramatically despondent over what she saw as a problem for recent times, her parents and Grandmother ignoring her at meals. Of course, her parents and grandma did still converse with Mary and she wasn't neglected, but in her young mind things changed as nowadays they tended to focus mainly on grownup stuff like the plate people, the election or Lucasfilms and the basketball lakes. And when they weren't paying attention, they were fussing over the twins, though Mary could understand there because babies didn't know how to do anything and needed to be fussed or else they would cry and be bothersome.
The twins were another factor into Mary's woes. When her mother was carrying them, Mary was hyped as it meant that she could have two best friends who she could play with all day every day. Only the babies were too small to play, and when they did get big enough, they would cry or throw tantrums, and hog all the mommy-daddy time leaving Mary with less than she was used to.
Mary tried her best to be a good big sister, be friends with the twins and teach them how to be O'Brians and how to behave and be nice so they wouldn't be bothers for Mommy and Daddy, but there was one major communication issue.
"Baba baba ba baba BA!" Sarah yelled, excitedly jumping and slapping her hands on the high seat, threatening to throw down the bowl of baby food she had in front of her as she tended to do.
"Wah!" Joseph said happily as Bruce gave him a spoonful of food, the baby boy generally being content with meals and always happy when Bruce fed him with airplane and car spoons.
The babies couldn't talk! How could Mary be a good big sister if she had no idea what they were saying? How could they understand her and be good babies? How did it work?
"Grandma?" Mary called Debbie, who set down a piece of toast and looked at her granddaughter kindly.
"Yes Mary?"
"Why don't the littles talk? It's been forever since they're born and they still won't talk! I always talk since I remember." Mary said in exasperation.
Debbie laughed and gently patted Mary's head, "It takes a while for babies to learn how to talk sweetie. Most babies don't talk by now, but Sarah and Joe will get there. You just need to give them plenty of love and they'll learn on their own."
"When did I first talk?" Mary asked.
"About six months I believe." Debbie answered.
Mary counted the months since Joe and Sarah were born on her fingers with the current date being September 4th, "It's been six months, so Sarah and Joseph will talk today?" Mary said hopefully.
There was some shared giggling by the adults, with Mary crossing her arms in response. She didn't like it when the adults giggled as she asked important questions. It meant they didn't talk with Mary serious when she had serious talk!
"Maybe Mary, maybe not. They'll talk when they're ready to talk and you were faster than most babies. There's no need to rush things when they're happy running their own race." Bruce said.
"Bother." Mary said flatly. It was very frustrating at times when all the other kids her age were so slow at everything. Why couldn't they be fast like Mary, learning was easy!
"What was my first word?" Mary asked, wanting to know what the twins would likely say.
At the question, all of the adults froze in panic, confusing Mary since she asked an easy question, did they not remember? Debbie seemed uneasy while Bruce and Carrie were having an intense nonverbal conversation with their heads and eyes, frustraing Mary that they didn't use proper ASL like how she could.
After about fifteen seconds, the impasse was broken by Carrie, "Fun, your first word was fun Mary. Right Bruce?"
"Yes Carebear. Your first word was fun because you love fun. And you learned that becuase Uncle Robin was constantly talking with you." Bruce added.
Huh, Mary guessed that made sense. Although she could have sworn it was differently. Something that sounded a lot like Firetruck.
A couple hours later as Carrie was folding some laundry, she was approached by Mary, "Mommy, please make me a cape, I wanna be a vampire." Mary requested.
Carrie chuckled at her daughters playtime request, "Oh? Mary doesn't want to be a dragon or supergirl anymore?" Carrie asked sweetly.
Mary shook her head, "I still want to play as those, but this isn't for play. I need to be a vampire like the Count so I can teach Sarah and Joseph their letters and speak." Mary informed.
"Mary, they're fine just the way they are right now and don't need to talk for a while."
"No. I'm a big girl. Big girls teach the littles what to do so they grow up big and speak. It's my job Mommy." Mary affirmed.
Seeing that this was a losing battle and genuinely curious how to see what Mary interpreted as teaching, she abided by her daughter's request an a couple hours later, Mary entered the twins playpen, carrying a couple of picture books with big letters and words.
"Ha, Ha, Ha! My name is Count Mary von Brian, and I teach you the A, B, Cs." Mary announced dramatically.
Her two students were ignoring her with Sarah rolling on the ground, sucking on a teething ring while Joseph held a stuff bunny and a stuffed dog and was wiggling them around.
To the side Carrie was kneeling and holding a film camera, gushing at the adorable sight and making sure to capture every moment for Bruce and other members of the family.
Mary was bothered that her students weren't taking her seriously but she wasn't deterred. Sesame Street taught her the words and she would teach them, it was easy.
"Now I'm gonna sing the ABC song. The ABC song has 26 letters, you use all the letters when you say the words. Repeat after me; ABCDEFG-" Mary began, only when she finished the twins still ignored her, the only confirmation that they listened to anything was Joseph crawling forward and sucking on Mary's cape.
Mary tried her best at playing Count and teacher, saying all the words, reading picture books and pointing at all the words and sounding them out, drawing on boards and writing their names and other good words like mommy and daddy, but the twins stubbornly didn't retain much information and just wandered off and did their own thing. The only major progress was Sarah usually liking to babble when Mary did her lessons, thinking that she was conversing with Mary and liking to talk.
It was a frustrating process for Mary, who just expected the twins to learn and then talk, that's what all O'Brians were supposed to do. Little did Mary understand, that while she was an okay teacher, the twins would mainly respond due to certain motivations, not her instruction.
Little Sarah O'Brian was a baby girl who had a lot of toys and loved playing with them every day. Perhaps her favorite toy was the Kermit Box.
The Kermit Box was a magic box made by Kermit O'Brian, Mary's best friend and a magic frog who could do anything. The Kermit Box was amazing to the mind of Sarah. Everyday its magic showed lots of different people, real people and drawing people, going on adventures and having lots of fun. It was like Mommy-Daddy storytime but the picture book was moving and it talked to Sarah.
While Sarah was an active child who played many games with her siblings and parents, her favorite activity was just to sit in front of the Kermit Box and stare at it in wonder. Though she did like it best when all of the family were there to watch it with her, it was nice seeing mommy and daddy happy and sharing her experience with them, especially when they were magically in the Box at the same time. Perhaps that was her favorite part about it, Sarah could always have Mommy and Daddy on the Kermit Box even if they weren't there.
Each of the O'Brian siblings had over the course of the year developed their own preferences for the Kermit Box. Mary really loved the Muppets and Sesame Street, and thankfully the former was usually on at night so it didn't conflict with the twins desires. Joseph liked to watch Kermit a lot as well, but his favorite was the Charlie Brown stories, mainly cause he thought the dog named Snoopy was cool because it reminded him of Natalie and Snoopy was a Cool Joe, and Joseph was always happy to see other Joes.
When it came to Sarah, she really loved drawing shows. Drawing shows were the best shows on the Kermit Box because a Drawing Show could be anything and everything! It had talking animals, colorful backgrounds, funny movement and interesting places. Real people shows were mostly boring because most just had people talking, but there were no limits for drawing shows.
Sarah's most favorite shows were Tom and Jerry, because they were so silly in how they fought each other and became all sorts of different shapes and did funny yells and screams. Sarah hoped that Ginger could be her Tom, but sadly the Scottish Fold kept on killing all the Jerrys because she didn't know how to play the game.
Sarah also really loved the Scooby-Doo show. The Scooby gang were so cool and brave, facing all the scary ghosts and monsters and defeating them, showing them to be phony liars. It was cool to see all of their adventures and Sarah thought Scooby was a really funny dog. Sadly, this was also where real life proved to be boring as Sarah wanted Natalie to talk really badly but all she did was bark and whine. At least Natalie was a fun horsey though and Sarah liked when she had onesie rides.
One Saturday morning, the O'Brian kids were watching another episode of Scooby-Doo while their parents made breakfast. Sarah sat front and center, eyes glued to the screen as the gang was being chased. Mary wanted to watch too, but she had to split her attention between the TV and Joseph who was playing with Kermit O'Brian but tended to be messy and a bit rough, forcing Mary to try and teach Joseph how to play nice.
Sarah cheered and clapped when the gang caught the monster in their trap, saving the day. Now, Fred was going to reveal that the monster was a phony and show who it was;
"Alright gang. Let's unwrap this mummy and see whose behind all of this."
Unfortunately for Sarah, her revelation was cut short when a prancing Ginger jumped on the couch and one of her paws accidentally pushed the power button on the remote, shutting the TV off right as Fred was pulling the mask.
Sarah's mouth dropped in total shock as the Kermit Box went black right as they were about to get to the best part. Sarah looked around, searching for her parents to see if they had turned the TV off for breakfast but they were nowhere to be seen. Grandma wasn't nearby either, and Mary was playing silly dancing with a giggling Joseph through Kermit O'Brian.
With no one around to turn off the TV that meant.....the Kermit Box was broken!
Sarah looked around in a panic, hoping Mommy and Daddy would be nearby to fix things as they always did, but they were nowhere to be found. Emoting antic grunts, Sarah resolved to seek aid from the Kermit Box's maker and crawled her way to Mary, trying to enlist Kermit O'Brians help to fix his broken box.
Sarah tried to grab Kermit, but Mary just pulled him out of reach. Sarah then tried to push Mary away so she could have Kermit, but her little baby arms were not of much strength, just leading to a slight push and then Sarah crawled on Mary and tried to take Kermit, with Joseph looking at the sister fight in blank confusion.
"Sarah, you can't steal Kermit, I'm playing with him and Joseph! You can have Kermit later, we have to take turns." Mary said, but Sarah wouldn't listen, trying desperately to have Kermit so he could fix the box.
Not wanting to fight her sister, Mary then gently pushed Sarah away and then stood and held Kermit high above her head so he would be out of reach from Sarah. Sarah reached for Kermit, but to the young Gosling it looked like he was high in the sky and Sarah herself couldn't even stand on her own two legs, just barely able to sit on her knees.
"Aw ga bwaho oa mi pu!" Sarah yelled, trying to explain to Mary that she needed Kermit to fix the box but her sister was being stubborn and mean.
"No Sarah Catherine O'Brian, you can only play with Kermit O'Brian when you're a nice girl, not a mean one." Mary said in her best discipline tone in imitation of her mother. As the Big Girl, she needed to set an example and show Sarah that actions had consequences and only nice babies deserved playtime. After all, she couldn't be mean and deny Joseph his current playtime.
Although in actuality, Joseph was looking at Mary in confusion on why his big sister didn't give Kermit to his little sister as he didn't mind sharing, while Mary herself wasn't aware that Sarah didn't need Kermit to play, but be a fixer.
With Mary continually denying Kermit to her, and thus keeping the Kermit Box broken. Thus Sarah huffed her chest and her eyes became watery as she started to cry, convinced that the Kermit Box would be broken forever and she would never watch another Scooby or Sesame Street.
While Mary usually did her best to keep her siblings happy, she didn't feel that mean Kermit thiefs received help and thus let Sarah bawl her eyes out while she gave Kermit to a bewildered Joseph who didn't know what was going on.
This got the attention of their parents who could hear the distant cries and rushed to the TV room after turning the stove off. "What's going on, is everyone okay?" Bruce asked his children, rushing to the side of his middle child who was turning red and crying a stream.
"Sarah was being mean and trying to take Mr. Kermit while he was playing with Joseph. I protected Kermit and stopped Sarah from stealing, and she's mad because it's Joseph's turn." Mary said affirmatively.
Carrie looked at her daughter with equal parts pride and concern, "Mary, it's nice that you're trying to be nice and thoughtful for Joseph, but if Sarah really wants Kermit, maybe you should let her play as well. She can play with Kermit at the same time, and maybe it's Sarah's turn." Carrie tried to suggest gently.
Mary gasped and looked at her Mom in shock. Her Mommy was okay with Sarah being a thief?! "No Mommy, Sarah did not ask, she tried to take Kermit when he was silly dancing with Joseph. That not nice! If I take Wally or Milly toys without asking I get timeout. Sarah need punishment! I'm doing big girl job." Mary affirmed.
As Mary was arguing with her mother, Bruce was doing his best to console his second daughter but to no avail, who was screaming and crying, waving her arms and pointing to the Kermit Box to try to explain the problem but Bruce just thought she was having a fit.
Joseph looked between Sarah and Mary and then looked to Kermit in concern. He liked playing with Kermit, he tasted good and was a funny and nice friend. But his twin needed Kermit more and that was important. Thus Joseph crawled forward with Kermit in tow and deposited Kermit in Sarah's lap.
"Good job Joe." Bruce said with a proud smile, giving a light kiss to the top of Joseph's head, making Joseph smile and giggle at the praise from his daddy.
Bruce assumed that Sarah would stop crying at that, but his middle child confused him by frantically crawling forward with Kermit in hand, then leaning forward and raising Kermit up high to the TV.
"Kermit Box, Kermit Box!" Sarah pleaded. In her mind, she was asking for Kermit to fix the Kermit Box and turn it back on, but she didn't know how to say fix so she said the word she knew so strongly, Kermit Box.
At this the room was completely silent save for Sarah's pleads, Bruce and Carrie's jaws dropping at hearing their second child's first words. Mary, upon hearing the words forgot her frustration with Sarah and smiled proudly at her little sister's first words.
"Yay, Sarah is smart and her first word is Kermit. She a good student." Mary said, beaming with joy that her work had seen success.
At that moment, Ginger who had been watching from the side in concern, decided to jump down and help calm Sarah. At that moment, Ginger's paw once again pressed on the remote, and the Kermit Box switched on.
"And now here they are! The most daredevil group of daffy drivers to ever whirl their wheels in the Wacky Races. Competing for the title of worlds wackiest racer!"
"Kermit!" Sarah cheered, hugging and kissing the amphibian O'Brian for having done his magic and fixed his Box. Mary was right, Kermit was the best frog in the whole world and could do anything!
It was a shame that the Box didn't show who the mummy was, but that was okay, Sarah also liked to watch the wacky car people.
Sarah sat holding onto Kermit tightly as she watched the intro, joined by Mary who completely forgot the argument and didn't mind watching more TV, along with a crawling Joseph who wanted to be a part of the audience.
The O'Brian parents looked at each other in complete bewilderment of what they had just watched.
"Well....at least her first words aren't a cuss word." Bruce said with a soft laugh.
"Bruce, after breakfast we're gonna have an outdoor family day."
"Yes dear."
In the months afterwords, Sarah proved to be a fast learner in talking, although she was not close to the genius level of intellect that Mary was, merely being able to talk and not having any comprehension of reading. Sarah acted like a baby parrot and loved to mimic the other words she heard, though thankfully nothing vulgar like Mary's accidental vocabulary. She couldn't form many full sentences, but she had a collection of favorite words she liked to speak and tended to talk a lot, mostly in babble.
Joseph on the other hand was more quiet. He was a very physically active baby to be sure, zooming and crawling around the house like a race car and loving to play many games, but he wasn't in a mood to talk, mainly babbling and sometimes yelling, just content to be in his own little world. This frustrated Mary greatly who had finally made progress with Sarah but it seemed like Joseph didn't care at all about his "studies".
The latest attempt took place in the early Christmas season with Carrie and Debbie setting up the Christmas tree. Sarah was on the floor hugging Natalie while Joseph was standing in a walker, the baby boy adapting very quickly to the helper while Sarah struggled to stand. Both were watching Mary who was doing a dance with Cookie Monster to help try and teach Joseph his first word.
"C is for cookie, that's good enough for me. C is for cookie, that's good enough for me. C is for cookie, that's good enough for me! Oh cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C." Mary sang, then striking a dramatic pose at the end.
"Bravo Mary, a wonderful performance as always." Debbie encouraged, smiling at seeing her eldest grandchild having such fun performing, and doing it all for fun instead of any pressure.
Mary looked towards Joseph, hoping that her routine would be enough to get him to finally say a word, but instead he giggled and danced in place, thinking Mary was playing some sort of game.
"Cookie." Sarah said happily, learning the lesson and looking to her mom, hoping she would give them oreos, though Carrie politely ignored any requests so their dinner wouldn't be spoiled.
"Bother." Mary said, so close on the verge to giving up as it seemed that Joseph didn't want to learn anything! Mary plopped down, setting Cookie Monster to the side with Natalie then walking forward and taking the blue toy with her mouth to play with.
"Mommy, you need to take Joseph to the hospital. He's broken." Mary suggested.
Carrie looked to her son in frantic concern, "Why do you say that Mary?"
"He won't listen to anything I say and refuses to talk!" Mary pouted.
Carrie shook her head and returned to the task of arrainging ornaments, "Mary, Joseph is not broken, he's just going at his own pace. The doctor said he was fine at our last visit, and he'll talk when he's ready."
"But Joseph should talk now! Sarah talks." Mary protested.
Debbie moved to Mary's side and gave her a light hug, "Mary, I know you're trying to be a good big sister and help Joe, but he's just learning his own way and that's not broken. Is Sarah broken for not standing when Joseph can stand?"
"No, but that different." Mary tried to argue.
"No it's the same. Everyone has their own way of learning and Joe and Sarah just are better at different things. You learned to talk when you were six months, your momma when she was eight months, but Uncle Todd didn't say his first word until he was a year and three months, fifteen." Debbie informed.
Mary gasped, "But Uncle Todd is super smart!"
Debbie nodded, "He is, and Joseph might be smart, and not talking right now doesn't mean he won't be. So just be gentle and let Joe run his own race.
Mary sighed, accepting that her mission was a failure, "Okay Grandma."
Debbie then moved to take Joseph out of his walker so he could play with his siblings, and right when Joseph was placed on the floor, the back door could be heard to be opening, "I'm home!" Bruce greeted his family.
"DADDY!" Joseph yelled in happiness, then escaping Debbie's grasp and waddle walking forward out of the living room to greet his dad at a high speed, leaving Debbie and Carrie stunned that not only had Joseph spoken his first word, but he took his first steps as well, practically sprinting.
"Joe! You're walking and talking!" Bruce said in total amazement and joy, completely uplifting his spirits after a long and exhaustive day of completing some of the last Batman scenes. He scooped up Joseph who giggled and smiled greatly at being lifted by his dad, "Daddy, Daddy!" Joseph cheered, clinging onto Bruce and being as happy as could be.
Bruce then sped walked to the living room, "Is this his first time walking and talking?" He asked excitedly.
"Yeah, we got a two for one deal with him." Carrie said, shaking her head in contement, happy that her youngest was catching up, though a bit sad she was 0-3 on her kids saying "Mama" as a first word.
Meanwhile, Mary pouted and folded her arms, "I could have had Joseph talking forever ago if I used the Han toys?"
