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my own favorites for trap items are stuff which literally bites back or betrays the wielder - stuff like:

claymore mine - not an actual mine, this is a (apparently) +1 claymore which actually explodes when you pick it up.
invulnerability shrinkfit braise - yes, underwear that is invulnerable, and gradually gets smaller and smaller (think the scene in red dwarf with the shapeshifter :o )
boots of mighty leaping - anyone remember that encounter from ES morrowind where they guy literally falls from the sky?
sword of inverse leeching - a lifedrain sword - only it drains the wielder when used.

And that's only the TAME ones - anyone want to guess what 'Pony Armor' does to the wearer?
 
Rain of Anvils was a 4th level spell we came up with during our D&D 2e days.

Once cast, 1 anvil per 5 levels of caster dropped, as if from a great height. You could only specifically target 1 in any round, with a ToHit roll vs. AC 10 + Dex modifier. The rest were randomly assigned, and the DM rolled. If the targeted one missed, it scattered. If it hit, it did 6d6 damage. The random ones did 4d6.

The spell was nasty, because once it started raining anvils, it did so for an entire turn - 10 minutes back then. And if you ran out of targets, well, the party was still a valid target, as were any pack and riding animals, nearby villagers, townspeople, etc.

10 minutes of anvils falling from the sky, randomly targeting things is not a very nice thing to do.

We used it three times - once to great effect, and Lolth hated it - and decided after having to go on the run for leveling a village with it, it was best forgotten, and maybe we should go hide in the mountains for twenty or more years...
 
You know, some of you guys have had such wild D&D adventures that I think it's too bad none of you have written them as stories. I think they'd be a hoot to read.
 
I had one particular munchkin in a 2nd edition AD&D campaign create the spell Power World: Aardvark. What did this spell do?

First of all, it's a 3rd level spell
Second of all, it's an aoe.
It's actual effect is that it summons 100 hundred bipedal aardvarks with rayguns, who shoot 100 random targets within a 100 foot radius for 1d100 damage. Yes, the player specified 100 foot radius, rather then 50 foot radius. Meaning from 100 feet in every direction from the epicenter.

So, you might be wondering why I allowed this abomination to actually work. The player who created the spell forgot a very minor, completely inconsequential detail. They didn't add any range to the spell it's self, meaning it's centered on the caster. They also forgot to exclude the caster or their allies from the random targets being fired upon. I then added the following:
1. Only one copy of the spell can be memorized at a time.
2. Due to how strenuous the arcane energies involved are to manipulate It takes 72 hours of study to memorize the spell, any interruptions will mean you failed to memorize the spell, and have to start all over again. Meaning if you stop to eat, travel, sleep, or anything else you have to start all over again. Make a con check to avoid falling asleep every 12 hours. This check is done with a -2 penelty at 24 hours, which increasees by an additional -2 for each additional 12 hours (for a total of -10 modifier on the final con check)
3. Just trying to inscribe the spell into your spell book causes the gods to curse you, divine magic can no longer heal you. Ever. Yes, that includes being brought back from the dead.
4. Actually casting the spell will get you smote by 2d6 different gods (yes, even the evil ones) for 4d6 damage per smite.
5. There is only a 10% chance to scribe the spell to begin with, and you only get ONE chance. The spell's creator didn't need to worry about this last item.

The last 3 additional rulings weren't told to the player immediately. He managed to memorize the spell, once. And then the only time it was ever actually cast... all 100 raygun using aardvarks shot the wizard who cast Power Word: Aardvark, despite there being thousands of potential targets. The group (and I) watched in bemused shock as all 100 d1000 rolls came up 0001, which was the wizard. I used a different colored die for each digit, so it'd be easy to parse each result. They then all did 100 damage, due to me rolling max damage 100 times in a row. The only reason he didn't have a dozen gods (I rolled boxcars) smite him was... the aardvarks killed him first.

I then ruled that the spell book it's self (which should have been atomized by the mass raygun fire alongside the wizard and all the rest of his stuff) couldn't actually be destroyed no matter how much all the gods wanted it gone. The spell's very nature had turned the spell book into an Artifact that could only be destroyed in a foundry located in the exact middle of the capital of the Aardvark Empire. Why did all the gods, good, evil, and neutral, all band together to punish anyone who even dares learn the spell? Because every time the spell is cast, it risks the high tech, deity killing, and highly aggressive Aardvark Empire being able to access this Realm via back-tracing the path of the summoning and thus gaining a foothold.

During the course of the campaign, that player had 3 different characters find the Spell Book and try learning Power Word: Aardvark. Only to fail to do so, and end up getting killed a session or two later due to being incapable of being healed by the cleric. After the 3rd character got cursed to be immune to divine healing... the player actually asked me what the hell was going on. I explained the curse, the in-game reasons for it, and that I was not amused by his trying to game the spell creation system like that.
 
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FaerieKnight79 said:
I had one particular munchkin in a 2nd edition AD&D campaign create the spell Power World: Aardvark. What did this spell do?

First of all, it's a 3rd level spell
Second of all, it's an aoe.
It's actual effect is that it summons 100 hundred bipedal aardvarks with rayguns, who shoot 100 random targets within a 100 foot radius for 1d100 damage. Yes, the player specified 100 foot radius, rather then 50 foot radius. Meaning from 100 feet in every direction from the epicenter.

So, you might be wondering why I allowed this abomination to actually work. The player who created the spell forgot a very minor, completely inconsequential detail. They didn't add any range to the spell it's self, meaning it's centered on the caster. They also forgot to exclude the caster or their allies from the random targets being fired upon. I then added the following:
1. Only one copy of the spell can be memorized at a time.
2. Due to how strenuous the arcane energies involved are to manipulate It takes 72 hours of study to memorize the spell, any interruptions will mean you failed to memorize the spell, and have to start all over again. Meaning if you stop to eat, travel, sleep, or anything else you have to start all over again. Make a con check to avoid falling asleep every 12 hours. This check is done with a -2 penelty at 24 hours, which increasees by an additional -2 for each additional 12 hours (for a total of -10 modifier on the final con check)
3. Just trying to inscribe the spell into your spell book causes the gods to curse you, divine magic can no longer heal you. Ever. Yes, that includes being brought back from the dead.
4. Actually casting the spell will get you smote by 2d6 different gods (yes, even the evil ones) for 4d6 damage per smite.
5. There is only a 10% chance to scribe the spell to begin with, and you only get ONE chance. The spell's creator didn't need to worry about this last item.

The last 3 additional rulings weren't told to the player immediately. He managed to memorize the spell, once. And then the only time it was ever actually cast... all 100 raygun using aardvarks shot the wizard who cast Power Word: Aardvark, despite there being thousands of potential targets. The group (and I) watched in bemused shock as all 100 d1000 rolls came up 0001, which was the wizard. I used a different colored die for each digit, so it'd be easy to parse each result. They then all did 100 damage, due to me rolling max damage 100 times in a row. The only reason he didn't have a dozen gods (I rolled boxcars) smite him was... the aardvarks killed him first.

I then ruled that the spell book it's self (which should have been atomized by the mass raygun fire alongside the wizard and all the rest of his stuff) couldn't actually be destroyed no matter how much all the gods wanted it gone. The spell's very nature had turned the spell book into an Artifact that could only be destroyed in a foundry located in the exact middle of the capital of the Aardvark Empire. Why did all the gods, good, evil, and neutral, all band together to punish anyone who even dares learn the spell? Because every time the spell is cast, it risks the high tech, deity killing, and highly aggressive Aardvark Empire being able to access this Realm via back-tracing the path of the summoning and thus gaining a foothold.

During the course of the campaign, that player had 3 different characters find the Spell Book and try learning Power Word: Aardvark. Only to fail to do so, and end up getting killed a session or two later due to being incapable of being healed by the cleric. After the 3rd character got cursed to be immune to divine healing... the player actually asked me what the hell was going on. I explained the curse, the in-game reasons for it, and that I was not amused by his trying to game the spell creation system like that.
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Oh lord, I just laughed until tears ran down my face! :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Kryslin said:
Rain of Anvils was a 4th level spell we came up with during our D&D 2e days.
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why do i suspect ryven will want a copy of that spell for the luls alone? (assuming i can have permission? - maybe a one-use scroll...)

two words, J - Helms deep - since i'm going there already, according to that snippet you have where i serenade the orks with the 'march of cambreadth' after dragon slaving their backline?
 
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FaerieKnight79 said:
The group (and I) watched in bemused shock as all 100 d1000 rolls came up 0001, which was the wizard. I used a different colored die for each digit, so it'd be easy to parse each result. They then all did 100 damage, due to me rolling max damage 100 times in a row. The only reason he didn't have a dozen gods (I rolled boxcars) smite him was... the aardvarks killed him first.
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The Gods didn't get a chance to smite the wizard because RNGesus took one look at that spell, went "Oh hell to the 🦆 no," and assumed direct control to assure that everything went wrong for your player and only your player, and alert the entire pantheon of what the 🦆 was up.
 
Jadesteele said:
why do i suspect ryven will want a copy of that spell for the luls alone? (assuming i can have permission? - maybe a one-use scroll...)

two words, J - Helms deep - since i'm going there already, according to that snippet you have where i serenade the orks with the 'march of cambreadth' after dragon slaving their backline?
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Sure, go ahead. Mu ha ha ha ha.

Have another : The Cloud of Misfortune

This one comes from our Ars Magica game. It calls into being a small black rain cloud. This cloud is linked to one individual via arcane means (True Name, personal item, etc.) Once summoned the cloud unerringly appears over the target's head, and begins raining. It is resistant to being controlled and dispelled. Should the victim be doing something that requires quiet or concentration, it flashes a bit of lightning and rumbles thunder. The lightning stings, forcing the victim to maintain concentration, and the flash and thunder make stealth nearly impossible.

And the cloud rains continuously. For 30 days and nights. Indoors, outdoors, underground. In the desert. In the arctic, it snows, hails and sleets.

In D&D, this would probably be another 4th or 5th level spell, and definitely a ritual. The rain cloud would probably be summoned from the Feywild. Definitely requires V,S,M components, along with something to link the spell to the victim. Should the item not, the spell latches onto the caster, and makes them miserable for a month.

Needless to say, seeing various people walking around with black clouds hanging over them, raining usually has the secondary effect of the victims being humiliated and ridiculed by their peers...
 
Kryslin said:
Sure, go ahead. Mu ha ha ha ha.

Have another : The Cloud of Misfortune

This one comes from our Ars Magica game. It calls into being a small black rain cloud. This cloud is linked to one individual via arcane means (True Name, personal item, etc.) Once summoned the cloud unerringly appears over the target's head, and begins raining. It is resistant to being controlled and dispelled. Should the victim be doing something that requires quiet or concentration, it flashes a bit of lightning and rumbles thunder. The lightning stings, forcing the victim to maintain concentration, and the flash and thunder make stealth nearly impossible.

And the cloud rains continuously. For 30 days and nights. Indoors, outdoors, underground. In the desert. In the arctic, it snows, hails and sleets.

In D&D, this would probably be another 4th or 5th level spell, and definitely a ritual. The rain cloud would probably be summoned from the Feywild. Definitely requires V,S,M components, along with something to link the spell to the victim. Should the item not, the spell latches onto the caster, and makes them miserable for a month.

Needless to say, seeing various people walking around with black clouds hanging over them, raining usually has the secondary effect of the victims being humiliated and ridiculed by their peers...
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There was actually a cantrip similar to this in a Dragon magazine...
 
Kryslin said:
We used it three times - once to great effect, and Lolth hated it - and decided after having to go on the run for leveling a village with it, it was best forgotten, and maybe we should go hide in the mountains for twenty or more years...
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I tagged that Insightful as you are officially less calamitous than Lina Inverse, who took many more villages and cities out before leaving that to the official villains.
 
The creator of Power Word: Aardvark also tried creating a few other spells, which didn't work. I'll outline what he'd wanted, and you'll be able to see why I decided they fail.

Pyroclasm
Level 1
Speed 1
Components: M (pinch of ash from a firepit) only
Range: 3 miles
Effect: Launch a marble sized orb of lava unerringly at a living target, which explodes upon impact into a 30 foot radius pyroclastic inferno, dealing 10d10 damage to anything caught within the blast. Always hits the designated target. No save possible.

Journey's End
Level 2
Components: V
Speed 4
Range: 10 miles
Effect: Target's heart explodes, killing them instantly. All foes within 15 feet of the target must make a Save vs Death Magic or suffer a heart attack. The target gets no saving throw. There is a 5% chance the caster's heart also explodes, if they fail a Vs Death saving throw.
(yes, he thought that last bit would make it "balanced" and get the spell approved)

Harry's Hoary Harem
Level 5
Components: S, V
Speed 10
Range: 15 feet
Effect: Create a door on any solid surface within 15 feet of the caster. The door appears to be made of wood, but has the same durability as an adamantine door. Only the caster can open the door, and only those the caster approves of may pass through the doorway. The door leads to a... Well, the name of the spell tells you everything you need to know, doesn't it? His wizard's name was Harry Hardman, as I recall.
 
I had to help with talking a DM into scaling down one of his spell creations a few weeks ago:

Call Acid Rain (Original version)
Level 3 Evocation Spell (evocation is usually energy creation/manipulation)
Takes 1 whole action/round to cast and concentration to continue. (could go on forever as worded)
Radius 150ft sphere from point of casting. (Fireball has 20ft radius)
Enemy targets take 8D6+6 Acid damage (more damage than Fireball) on a failed CON or DEX saving throw of 16. (automatic friendly fire protection?)

(Potentially a good idea, but horribly unbalanced, especially for a low level spell.)

Call Acid Rain (After much persuasion from me and another DM)
Level 3 Conjuration Spell (creates a physical substance, which goes away afterwards and doesn't pollute the land and anger druids etc)
Takes 1 whole action/round to cast and lasts for 1D4 Rounds.
Radius - 30ft Sphere from point of casting.
Creatures in the target area take 4D4 Acid damage (1/2 damage on successful DEX saving throw of 16)
There is no way to completely dodge the acid rain unless the targets are near proper cover, such as a building or cave.
 
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FaerieKnight79 said:
The creator of Power Word: Aardvark also tried creating a few other spells, which didn't work. I'll outline what he'd wanted, and you'll be able to see why I decided they fail.
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Methinks the levels of those spells might be a bit low. As in, they should have another digit on them...

I mean, there were guidelines for making new spells, and from what little I recall anything with those sorts of effects, even with major down sides, should be VERY high level.
 
Kryslin said:
Sure, go ahead. Mu ha ha ha ha.

Have another : The Cloud of Misfortune

This one comes from our Ars Magica game. It calls into being a small black rain cloud. This cloud is linked to one individual via arcane means (True Name, personal item, etc.) Once summoned the cloud unerringly appears over the target's head, and begins raining. It is resistant to being controlled and dispelled. Should the victim be doing something that requires quiet or concentration, it flashes a bit of lightning and rumbles thunder. The lightning stings, forcing the victim to maintain concentration, and the flash and thunder make stealth nearly impossible.

And the cloud rains continuously. For 30 days and nights. Indoors, outdoors, underground. In the desert. In the arctic, it snows, hails and sleets.

In D&D, this would probably be another 4th or 5th level spell, and definitely a ritual. The rain cloud would probably be summoned from the Feywild. Definitely requires V,S,M components, along with something to link the spell to the victim. Should the item not, the spell latches onto the caster, and makes them miserable for a month.

Needless to say, seeing various people walking around with black clouds hanging over them, raining usually has the secondary effect of the victims being humiliated and ridiculed by their peers...
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I know that this is from Ars Magica and not Mage: the Ascension, but I can't help but imagine the heaping helping of Paradox that a spell this vulgar is just begging the Universe to impose on the Magus casting it.
 
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Jacen1 said:
Methinks the levels of those spells might be a bit low. As in, they should have another digit on them...

I mean, there were guidelines for making new spells, and from what little I recall anything with those sorts of effects, even with major down sides, should be VERY high level.
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On the surface, the level 5 spell he wanted to make wouldn't seem so bad. It's no worse then Lemond's Secure Shelter or Mage's Magnificat Mansion, both of which are around the same spell level. He even was baking in a flat duration of 12 hours for the spell, so again not too bad on the surface. Even the theme of the shelter wouldn't be too objectionable. Many groups have to deal with an overly randy player over the course of the campaign. Often said players are running a bard. What pushed that spell from "sleazy but acceptable" to "Not just no, but hell no" was that his description included forcing a mental overlay on any females who enter the shelter. You can guess what type of mental overlay. And since half the party was female characters, and a quarter of the players in that group were women... Yeah, spell denied.
 
setting aside the third spell, Faeryknight, don't the other two already have some form in-verse anyway? the first one sounds like a attempt to munchkin/overpower a 'duelcast' combination of 'fireball' and 'eruption' spells, while the second sounds like they were trying for an aoe version of 'power word: death' to me.

So pointless - just use 'overcharge' to cast a 'telekinetic grip' at and target their heart - or if you have Out-of-verse spells 'accio' it.

As for the 'acid rain' spell, at that level of damage i'd have expected it to be at least a level 8 or higher spell - one way to nerf it that i could see and still keep it' as is' would have been to tie the strength of the acid to the level of the caster - with a level 3 caster getting an acid level of 'lemon'.
 
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