My last living grandmother is in the hospital, dying, and I can't go see her one last time. Between this delivery and a housing inspection to make sure repairs to my bathroom ceiling are up to code I can't leave home for any length of time, let alone travel to a different state to spend any time with my grandmother before she dies since I don't own a car. It's only 3 or so hours away, but that may as well be an infinite distance right now. My mom is injured because she slipped and fell down half a flight of stairs while at work as well. But because of the pandemic I can't go visit her in the hospital either. So yes, I'm kind of in a bad mood overall. Me joking about a mistake I made is in large part because it feels like everything in my life is going wrong all at once.
EDIT:
Sorry for figuratively biting your head off. But I'm not really in a good mood at the moment. Everything is collapsing around me, and I'm waiting for the inevitable third disaster to occur while wondering how bad it's going to be.
i don't think a virtual hug would suffice.
so i do this *hugs
@FaerieKnight79 *, i know than this is not equal to the real deal but... i know what are you feeling.
my grandmother died years ago and i still cry sometimes for her, and being honest... it was a situation like this one, she had cancer, i could literally do noting!, i look at her day to day, looking her consume and die, how the quimio was killing her with poison, how her hair fall, how she lost energy to even
walk...
and seeing her dead, my mother crying without peace because the ucking doctors don't allow her to do more Quimio, just because of life insurance "don't cover quimiotherapy" and forcing us to try to get 1000 dollars just for a little and...
i was angry to the world and i remember well what i did then.
i go to the window, and Broke it with one punch and start cursing the bastards who take away granny from me!.
...
you have a little luck, believe , it don't matter if its at 3 hours;
GO, i didn't pass my grandma last hour with her because it was hurting me look at her and you know what, i regret it, i regret don't pass all the time i had with her, i regret let her alone, just Go, fuck anyone who tries to stop you, it don't matter, pass your time with her, it will hurt, but she will have a little more peace when the time comes.
don't leave her alone.