A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover
- Thread starter DragonParadox
- Start date
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- Tags
- a song of ice and fire a sword without a hilt d&d 3.5 dungeons & dragons 100% high octane dragon fuel ave corvidae battle action dragon diplomacy best sister bureaucromancy delicious soul-stuff dragon dreams come true dragon ta'veren greatest uncle hubris is a coward's word in defiance of gods and men mammon's folly mutually assured mage's disjunction qm murderhobo top tier coatl
- Location
- Germany
Which pretty much means:
"I'm fine with Good deities who don't mind us doing Evil all the time."
- Location
- United States
Precisely. Find a Good deity that doesn't mind our evil and doesn't meddle in our workings, and I'll welcome them with open arms.
egoo
Totally Not Creating Problems Where None Existed
- Location
- Russia
Huh.
It seems there's been a dramatic case of miscommunication in work here.
I mean, I can't speak for everyone here...
But I'm pretty sure that the only thing I wanted all this time been actually looking through all deities there are avaliable near us.
if none fit well in our Empire?
Well, sucks to be them then.
But I thought that researching the shit outta them and their faiths is necessary for truly knowing that.
So, I kept proposing going to few religions we immediately know not to be total assholes.
*cough* Drunken God *cough*
Braavos will be our turf one day anyway.
We'd better know who's who there long before that.
God's politics are even worse than Fey politics, I fucking swear.
Right sorry. Yeah that guy. Would it be worth resurrecting him?
DocMatoi
Theoretical Lover of Girls
- Location
- within 2 hours of the White House
- Pronouns
- They/Them
[X] Plan A Lone Fool
-[X] DocMatoi
-[x] Virginia, USA
-[x] strengths: Kind Personality, Secret Contacts, No Minmaxing Compulsion
-[x] weaknesses: Yuri fan, Cheese-averse
-[x] action: write Vee/Lya fanfic: plot: Vee has been hit with a strange toxin by one of her beastly charges(sending her into a swoon at the thought of romancing her fellow ladies) and Lya, as right hand of the emperor, must handle her. But how much of handling her symptoms will be treatable, and how much requires a "hands on" approach? And what will Viserys think, should she continue her "treatments" beyond what is necessary?
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tarrangar
Fat arctic chicken
We convinced Archon's that sacrificing Fiends was right, I'm sure we can convince the priests of most good gods, and I don't think many of them will be so inflexible as to come after us, at least not those that are worshipped in any Free city not Bravos, if they are able to work within the system when that system encourages slavery, then they should be able to work within our far less evil system.
The human sacrifices will be the bigger problem. But yeah, any god that's worshiped in the Free Cities and hasn't started an insurrection is not likely to start it after we take over.
- Location
- Chile
[X] Plan Bigbow/Baurus
-[X] Name: Bigbow
-[X] Starting Location: Santiago, Chile.
-[X] Strengths:
-[X] A Feminist Uprising: Feminists have taken over your Univerity's campus. No classes means more time for ASWAH right?
-[X] Fanfic Experience: You've been hard at work for about two years, so you know a thing or two about writing ASOIAF fiction. +3 to Omake Quality and Omake Canonicity.
-[X] Five bottles of Pisco: This amber alcoholic beverage seems to be the bane of many Gringo's and even Europeans. Two glasses combined with diet coke seems enough to send the weak chumps straight to oblivion, and can be a useful distraction and/or party starter. "What the hell's do they party with in the Northern Hemisphere anyway?! Fucking wine?!"
-[X] Weaknesses:
-[X] D&D Ignorant: "Ranged Touch Attack?! What does that even mean?!"
-[X] At least it's not New Zealand: Your home country is at the metaphorical edge of the world, and weather channels often don't even put a name to your territory. But hey, it could be worse right?
Pick Actions for Turn 1:
[X] Action: Latin America! Unite!: Start coordinating with fellow nearby players in Argentina (@Tomcost ) and Brazil (@TotallyNotEvil ). Saving DP will take all the streetsmarts we southerners can get together, and as long as we don't speak about Football everything should be alright.
Right?
Right???
[X] Action: "I swear to god, one more X-Ray machine and I'll-": Getting into the EU with a South American Passport is not the most pleasant of experiences. Start preparations to recover lost time once the S.A. team gets there. Madrid Barajas Airport... *shudders*
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- Location
- United States
I'll be blunt, the prospect isn't that appealing for me. Yes, he was loyal, but that's basically it. There's nothing particularly special about the guy. He's not smart, strong, skilled, etc. We'd have to rehabilitate him to a world filled with magic. We'd have to deal with his worship of the Seven. That said, I think Viserys might do it since he feels like he owes the man for saving his and Dany's lives, but I'm not really looking forward to it.
- Location
- Argentina
- Location
- being near locations is my passion.
Those! I want those ones!
Yayyy! Can we do a days IC basic research then? We can get teachers if it goes well! (Of writing and basics)
- Location
- United States
Hold your horses, I'm suspicious. I believe if given half the chance people will pounce on getting a Good deity in spite of said deity causing all sorts of problems.
We've seen this sort of thinking when people wanted to -- for some unfathomable reason -- involve the Weeping Lady in our blood sacrifice for the Tree of Lys.
egoo
Totally Not Creating Problems Where None Existed
- Location
- Russia
Well, next month we'll be having a leisure-ish enthusiastic walks through Braavos, so we'd have more than enough time to personally look into local gods.
I mean, I'm totally on the same page with you when good deities' fucking with our practices and plans is concerned.
It's just that they can be too useful not to investigate, however small the hope to get a decent deity is.
MasterDrakus
DEUS SOL
- Location
- Minas Gerais, Brazil
what is this? Some kind of inferior beverage that tries to be a cachaça but fails? Bah, a good Bootle of cheap cachaça is way better than that thing!
Part MCMXCIV: Of Ink and Gold
Of Ink and Gold
Twenty-Seventh Day of the Second Month 293 AC
When one considers the actions of a conqueror on the first dawn of triumph many things come to mind: grand feasts, rousing speeches, and bloody restitution upon the vanquished. However, you find yourself wielding neither the sword of war nor the staff of justice, but instead the stylus of... 'preempting folly' perhaps. Thus do you valiantly scribble away into the dawn, struggling to keep allies and likely foes from reacting precipitously. Soft laughter bubbles from your lips at the image, a welcome relief from the stifling formality that pervades the palace the Archon of Tyrosh like bitter perfume, mingled with the scent of blood and decay.
Even the chamber you find yourself in now is too grand, glided in gold and draped in blue velvet like some enormous jewelry box seemingly designed more to overawe visitors than for any practical purpose.
"You should send a letter to King's Landing," Dany hisses lazily from where she had coiled herself upon the windowsill, having abandoned her angel's guise as soon as her powers of healing had been spent. "'Cousin' Robert is after all a ruler of some import, too. It would not do for him to be misinformed."
"The point is to keep things on an even keel, not race to overthrow them," you reply, voice mock-stern for just a moment before the laughter comes again, imagining that scene. Would having his heart give out after a particularly smug letter count as having killed him? you wonder.
"Don't forget a letter to lord Velaryon and especially to the Pointsmen," your sister says after a moment in a more serious manner. "Lord Brune seemed canny, but if some hothead decides to raise a dragon banner, it would place us in an awkward position to say the least."
"How did you become to adroit in matters of state?" you ask in jest.
"By careful observation of the dread lord of Sorcerer's Deep," she replies instantly. "Mother has been helping with that, too, especially where the Seven Kingdoms are concerned. "
"Do you think she would enjoy helping out here, too?" you ask, setting your diminutive golden assistant to finish the rest of the letter himself, faithfully copying your rather middling penmanship. There is not much point in doing so in a message addressed to Uthero, since he would hardly object to receiving a letter in another hand, unlike the more suspicious Doran Martell or even the Sealord, but habits are hard to break for constructs of ancient sorcery and living gold no less than for those of flesh and blood.
Dany considers the matter a moment before shaking her head. "She does not know much about the east, not even the languages. I think it would be more a strain than a boon to her, and she has taken to learning sorcery with a purpose."
"But not with a light heart," you guess, saddened.
"Not yet, I don't think she trusts sorcery enough to just see it as enjoyable..." Dany trails off, searching for words. "I think she sees as something akin to a viper she has been persuaded would make a fitting weapon and tool."
"She trusts us," you object, startled.
"She does... more than she trusts herself," your sister replies with a sibilant sigh. "She needs time, as much as we all do." A sentiment you can appreciate now more than ever.
Ravens fly, not only in the west, but the east. Three-eyed messengers will will soon let loose Rhango's Dothraki against the former lands of Tyrosh, hopefully driving them into your arms. How many souls will be under yours to reign over for better or for worse? You shake off the moment's uncertainty and decide instead to seek answers to that very question and many others.
***
The treasury was safe from looters thankfully, the heavy iron-bound doors locked and bolted in place enough to foil the frenzied guards and rebelling slaves until one of your legion captains could secure the room. Unfortunately, they too have proven unable to find anyone with a key, or rather keys.
From your understanding it takes three functionaries, from traditionally feuding families, to open the way. In theory this animosity is meant to keep them from collaborating to defraud the Archon's coffers. In practice you imagine it caused a great many administrative headaches for little use. There are after all far more convenient ways to steal from a lord's coffers than sneaking into his treasure chamber. Thankfully fire opens most doors...
The sight that greets you within is enough to steal your breath for a moment. Stacked around the long low oval chamber, understandably buttressed about three times as much as is needed, are dozens of chests filled with gleaming gold and bright silver, ancient intricately-wrought suits of armor so richly gilded one might think they had not been forged of steel at all.
Among the columns stand statues of milk-white marble adorned with gems and garbed in flowing cloth of gold, the graven images of Gods of the city. Most are strange to you, but among them you see the Weeping Lady, bent with her sorrows, her feet adorned with blood red rubies glinting like drops of blood, savage Trios his heads coiling hungrily more like a nest of vipers than any single beast, each scale seemingly worked of a different metal all mirror bright. Of R'hllor you are surprised to see nothing at first until your eyes fall upon a black marble altar, with the golden statues of long dead Flame Keepers standing at the corners. At its center is a hollow filled high with precious woods, unlit but obviously prepared for it.
Gained 250,000 Gold in Treasure
Gained ancient images of the Gods worth 100,000 Gold
"Breathe," Tyene says with a smile from besides you. "It is supposedly the law of the city, passed down since its founding, that any temple raised within the confines of Tyrosh must make some suitable gift to the Archon. I'm not certain how well it would be received if you simply sold them off. They represent a pact of sorts with the divine..."
"And a monumental bribe from priests wishing to twist the law in their favor," you snort. Little wonder that so many temples have so many men under arms.
What do you do with the religious treasures?
[] Gift them back to their parent temples where they still exist, gaining good will, but also making it clear that the rules have changed (DC 25 Will save).
[] Keep them, they are yours by right of conquest
[] Write in
OOC: Since I know you guys are going to ask, nothing in the treasury registers as magical. Tyene already had Waymar check before you looked in.
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- Location
- France
Bah!
That's why you're a third world country! Why, in civilised nations we have wine that isn't rat's piss and that's affordable for all! We do indeed party with wine! We also have it at dinner, at official events, and to pre-meal an actual meal before it starts! And this wondrous drink is good for the rich, the poor, the pregnant, and the young! Why, as recently as 1956 there were riots and outrage when wine was banned in primary school cantines!
This is all entirely real. The "Americanisation of society" (sic) has led to some media saying that pregnant women shouldn't drink, but that advice remains far from universal. And child wine consumption is down, but a 13 year-old who never drinks any is as rare as a Catholic priest who practices polygamy.
Why, students do (sometimes) party with wine! You'll find beer, vodka, Rhum - and wine! - on the table. Usually mixed with various other liquids, but wine will be involved. Hey, it tastes good and it means you can start drinking at 7:00 and not be too smashed for a while!
Because while being tipsy makes for a great party and drinking is nice, binge drinking isn't actually a huge thing in France. Check the statistics, they support this.
Why, students do (sometimes) party with wine! You'll find beer, vodka, Rhum - and wine! - on the table. Usually mixed with various other liquids, but wine will be involved. Hey, it tastes good and it means you can start drinking at 7:00 and not be too smashed for a while!
Because while being tipsy makes for a great party and drinking is nice, binge drinking isn't actually a huge thing in France. Check the statistics, they support this.
- Location
- Germany
[X] Keep them, they are yours by right of conquest
We can easily sell them off-plane, where people won't know too much about the meaning of these artworks and valuables I hope.
Edit: We might have to destroy some images of the more questionable gods.
We can easily sell them off-plane, where people won't know too much about the meaning of these artworks and valuables I hope.
Edit: We might have to destroy some images of the more questionable gods.
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MasterDrakus
DEUS SOL
- Location
- Minas Gerais, Brazil
[X] Keep them, they are yours by right of conquest
I think I may have some dragon blood, the mere idea of giving away these ancient and precious treasures to anyone fills me with dread.
I think I may have some dragon blood, the mere idea of giving away these ancient and precious treasures to anyone fills me with dread.
egoo
Totally Not Creating Problems Where None Existed
- Location
- Russia
*cough*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Ahem.
Yeah, I'm not at all used to the economic revamp of Azel's.
@DragonParadox will you allow us to change the size of a loan from Iron Bank retroactively? It is somewhat less in context of new system.
And what for these treasures...
[X] Keep them, they are yours by right of conquest
-[
] Melt down all and any treasures of Burny's religion. Apply somewhere else, if at all possible. Maybe at Yss's temple? make it even more grand.
- Location
- Brazil
[X] Keep them, they are yours by right of conquest
Team America.
Well, Viserys will need a new codpiece.
- Location
- United States
And then what we got:
We now have what amounts to:
This is wonderful. It's a good day to be a dragon.
