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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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Deliste said:
Send your best, cold-ass-bitch, Strayan wildlife is waiting for ya.
I think we'll start with the plants before making you face something with agency, it just wouldn't be fair otherwise.
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You threaten us with deadly wildlife.

We have the northerners.
From Siberia with love. And hunger.
 
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egoo said:
You threaten us with deadly wildlife.

We have the northerners.
From Siberia with love. And hunger.
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Please, it is the weak that must advertise it's "danger", the unimaginative that resort to simple death.

Behold

In 1991, Keith Payne, a former member of the Australian Army and recipient of the Victoria Cross (Australia's highest award for valour), was struck on the hand by a platypus spur while trying to rescue the stranded animal. He described the pain as worse than being struck by shrapnel. One month later he was still experiencing pain in that hand. In 2006, Payne reported discomfort and stiffness when carrying out some physical activities, such as using a hammer.
 
Deliste said:
Please, it is the weak that must advertise it's "danger", the unimaginative that resort to simple death.

Behold

In 1991, Keith Payne, a former member of the Australian Army and recipient of the Victoria Cross (Australia's highest award for valour), was struck on the hand by a platypus spur while trying to rescue the stranded animal. He described the pain as worse than being struck by shrapnel. One month later he was still experiencing pain in that hand. In 2006, Payne reported discomfort and stiffness when carrying out some physical activities, such as using a hammer.
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Mate, you may have gotten yourself an animal God made on 4chan, adding details on doubles and tripples.
You may have gotten yourself the highest concentration of weird poisonous/venomous shit per square kilometer.

But we are sprawling through all climatic zones.

We have things that will kill you in cold weather, hot weather, weird weather, things that will kill you underwater, things that will kill you on land and in the sky, things that will run across the icy planes and sniff you out from miles away only to murder and eat you...
And I was talking about polar bears, but people will do that too.
We have our own poisonous and venomous stuff and things that are random as fuck.

You may take things by specialisation, but we are diversified as fuck to such a degree, that all you'll throw at us will eventually meet it's match.

Worst comes to worse, we have Honey Badgers. They don't give a fuck.
 
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Artemis1992 said:
Or that ice spell Glyra stole from the Listener.

Both useless against any form of flight though. Even slow ones like Xor's floating. He is naturally immune to slippery slopes of any kind.
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You are not thinking creatively enough. Why bring the flier to the floor when you can just bring the floor to the flyer?
 
Azel said:
Huh. I was always under the impression that blood and organs are not eaten at all in the US.
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Organs like animal hearts, livers, etc. Parts and all, are common regional foods, or mainstays in some demographics/ethnic cuisine. We are not called the "melting pot" of cultures for nothing.

You underestimate the variance of foods around here, we have literally everything, sold commercially in fact, not just in markets.

Likely upmarked for being a niche restaurant, but still sold in great amounts.
 
Crake said:
Organs like animal hearts, livers, etc. Parts and all, are common regional foods, or mainstays in some demographics/ethnic cuisine. We are not called the "melting pot" of cultures for nothing.

You underestimate the variance of foods around here, we have literally everything, sold commercially in fact, not just in markets.

Likely upmarked for being a niche restaurant, but still sold in great amounts.
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I was mostly referring to the anglo-saxon population, not so much the ethnic cuisine. With a sizable number of citizens of Asian and especially Chinese descend, there is probably not a whole lot of things that aren't on the menu somewhere at least.

So I will put it down as "Yes, it exists, but it's more a niche thing."
 
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Part MMDLIX: Law of the Land
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    • Law of the Land ​

    Fifth Day of the Eighth Month 293 AC

    Law or loyalty, competence or tradition? The choice is easy for one who had broken so many laws and as many traditions as you, yet the needle far more difficult to thread than that for you wish your own laws to be strong and respected. Rather than blatantly favoring one side over the other you decide on a more nuanced approach. In recognition of the steward's actions you request that the lady consider selling him the land at the market value as set forth by imperial administration. A request from a king is not quite a command but close enough for your purposes, and you do intend to pass something like this into law to discourage absentee lords who do nothing for the lands they rule. Still, you make it very clear that the title of nobility itself will remain undiminished.

    "What worth does title without land have, Your Grace?" the lady asks, the diffident tone hiding resentment like a dagger wrapped in silk.

    "Land there is aplenty if you wish to start fresh, hundreds of thousands of acres lie fallow between our current borders waiting for the plow. If you wish to buy some the opportunity is before you, my lady, and if instead you wish to live in town following the life that you have grown accustomed to among the people you find most congenial you can do that," you counter. "Does the nobility of your blood truly arise like a weed from the ground or does it flow from your ability to lead and to inspire others?"

    She bows again, more bemused than angry as the rest of the court is filled with smiles and the odd bit of discrete applause. You imagine Tyrosh would have been more lukewarm in reception, but even there the decision would likely have been odd at most, not threatening.

    ***​

    The fey must be laughing themselves sick,     you think as you ponder the brief unhappy marriage of Glyllo and Nesora Argolys. You suspect her intent was without malice for he could hardly wed her fevered and mutilated. In fact she might well have thought him on his death bed. Such a dream it must have been to see him healed and then to be wed. Alas that dreams rarely endure the harsh morning light.

    "No law has been broken and thus no punishment will be given. There has been no enchantment and I could no more ban the use of sorcery to improve one's odds in courtship than I could ban perfume, or baths..." you pause a moment for the inevitable laughter to die down. "However, magister Glyllo was unaware of the circumstances including their transience, thus I am inclined to grant his request for an annulment on those grounds and let this case set the precedent that before a marriage, both partners have to state all permanent or temporary magical effects they possess. Failure to do so is a valid reason for an annulment, though not in of itself a crime. It can be, however, used as evidence to prove malicious intent and fraud, if other evidence of such is present."

    At these words Nesora seems to collapse in on herself for a moment such that you almost fear she might faint, but a moment later she collects herself, thanks you, and with one last look at her now former husband moves away to take a seat. You notice Tyene moving in that direction with a determined expression, likely to offer some support and ask her about her dealings with the fey all at once.

    "A word of advice," you add to the magister alone and unheard by the rest of the court. "Taking a few days to evaluate important decisions would have spared you a great deal of pain."

    "Or as my father used to put it, 'think with the head between your shoulders eh'?"     Glyllo asks in like manner. Perhaps there is some hope for him developing some sense after all.

    ***​

    You carefully ponder the septon before you, the opportunity and the peril. On the one hand you could do with someone to help build a more tolerant faith around, on the other the requirements for such a priest would be very high indeed, perhaps even going to high as to deny the Seven at the last. For now you ask him of a more earthly authority: "I take it then that you do not agree with the High Septon, for he has crowned the Usurper in the name of your gods. I have heard from many septons many different things. Some decry all magic as fiendish work, others even going so far as wishing to bring back the Faith Militant and seeking to put a High Septon on the Iron Throne to spreed the faith with the blade. Before I answer your question, septon, answer mine. What is it that you believe?"

    "If you will allow, Your Grace, I would begin what I know before what I believe," he replies. "I know the depth of my own ignorance, I know it is foolish to burn the unopened book or to ignore the signs writ clear upon the face of the world. The High Septon of that day bid Lord Hightower to surrender rather than fight Aegon the Conqueror and his line, your line, became the protectors of the faithful, making peace where there had been war and brotherhood where there had been spite."

    "A fair summation, there was less war after the Conquest," you allow. The court still does not know how to react to remarks like this, but you are not going to stop making them for their benefit. You cannot stop speaking truths so as not to discomfit would-be-flatterers.

    "Indeed," Ceren nods. "There was less war, less suffering, and more prosperity among lords and smallfolk alike. That I see reflected in this city also, in the kingdom you have wrought, much of it with magic. I cannot decry the tree that bears good fruit only for the color of its leaves." The last has the sound of a quote, though not one you can place. The priest continues with a smile: "On the matter of the Faith Militant, I can assure you I have no interest in the spilling of blood and will follow the laws of the realm, or else I will depart from it in peace."

    What do you reply?

    [] Write in

    OOC: The question you asked of the septon was very broad but hopefully the answer is helpful. As far as Viserys can tell he is telling the full truth.
     
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