Gotta Have Faith
On a late Saturday evening in her room, Carrie Fisher paced back and forth while anxiously keeping her eyes locked on her telephone on her nightstand. Carrie was engaging in the sacred tradition of relationship angst as she debated on how to address the current issue at hand, her wonderful boyfriend Bruce being a devout and faithful Catholic.
…
Okay, so on the grand scheme of things it might not have been bad as she made it out to be and for many Hispanic or Italian potential mother-in-laws it would be a dream come true, but it was still a cause of anxiety for Carrie on how she was going to move forward with Bruce.
After she had proposed making Some Nights with Bruce, she had a long talk with her mother that night where Debbie fully explained for the first time where everything went wrong in her marriage with Eddie Fisher as well as give advice on how she could avoid those mistakes with Bruce. It was very liberating to say the least to finally hear from her mom just what went down instead of the endless years of evasion and downplaying of the situation, to finally have closure and understand that it was never her fault for her father abandoning her, and that while their marriage gave life to her and Todd, that perhaps it was doomed from the start.
One of the lessons that struck a deep chord with Carrie was how religion had been an early conflict and a silent divide for the remainder of their relationship with Eddie being Jewish while Debbie was a Nazarene Methodist. While Debbie never once thought less of Eddie for his faith, her parents had very strongly disapproved. This played a small part in her rush to marry Eddie as well as explaining in part why Carrie's maternal grandparents were so rough and strict with her and Todd, as they most likely believed they were correcting their grandchildren.
Fortunately on the parental side at least, there wouldn't be any issues for Bruce and Carrie. Joseph and Sarah O'Brian welcomed Carrie with open arms in New York and didn't treat her with disdain because she wasn't a practicing Catholic or active Christian. Debbie didn't have anything against Catholics and liked Bruce just the way he was. However, Debbie had stressed that later down the line, they should have an open and honest conversation about faith and where they stood to prevent any wedges from being dug, especially if they were to raise a family in the far future.
It was an intimidating topic for Carrie who never gave much thought to religion at all recently. While technically she was a half-Jewish Methodist, she never really identified as either because her father never gave a damn about his own faith and never bothered to teach her and Todd, meanwhile Debbie in rebellion to her fundamentalist parents practiced faith freely and whenever she was in the mood. As such, Carrie's only religious experiences were tagging along with her Orthodox friends to synagogue services in support or sporadic Church hopping for Christmas and Easter. This left Carrie to identify as "A agnostic who'd be happy to be shown there was a God".
When Carrie first dated Bruce this wasn't an issue as he himself was a lapsed Catholic and didn't place too much importance on his faith. However on the eve of Debbie's divorce, something had changed and he started going back to Church. Then after she had returned from New York, Bruce had transitioned from a prodigal son to a faithful member of the flock. A part of Carrie wished there was something obtrusive Bruce could have done to give her an easy conflict to focus on, but for the most part he was still the same great boyfriend, just subtly changed in a lot of small details that started to add up.
At first it was delivering grace before meals, then it was saying prayers each night before going to bed, the hesitation before their first time, those quiet nights where he'd read the bible and then there were the Sunday mornings she'd be left alone at his place because he went to mass. He was never hostile in these times, and often he'd thank God for her or pray for her and her family's well being, but each of these moments that she was present for made Carrie feel like an intrusive stranger.
She didn't know if she wanted to convert or could convert, but Carrie knew she at least wanted to be at peace with Bruce's faith and support him with clear communication, especially if they ever one day had kids (A thought that sent Carrie scarlet whenever her mind even brushed the topic). She could talk it out with Bruce, but it was probably best to see for herself what Bruce's other love was and attend mass with him, though such a scenario left her scared that if she crossed the line and didn't enjoy it that it would mark the beginning of the end for their relationship.
After fighting a lengthy war of attrition with her anxiety, Carrie plopped down on her bed and called Bruce's apartment. After a couple of rings, Bruce picked up, "Hello, Bruce speaking."
"Hey Bruce." Carrie greeted.
"Hey Carebear, how's the job hunt going?" Bruce asked politely, referencing the past few days that Carrie had spent meeting with a score of producers who wanted the star of Some Nights to be in their next movie. It was a long and exhausting line of interviews and offers she had to deal with, and she had only gone through a fraction of those who were on the Carrie Fisher waiting list.
Carrie gave an exhaustive sigh, "It's fine, just gets really tiring and after a while all the scripts start to blend together. At this point I'm trying to decide if I want to do one, maybe two films before Star Wars, or get a bunch of television guest spots done over the winter. I'm leaning towards the latter so that way I'm not tied down and we can have the wedding soon." Carrie said, a happy flush rising on her cheeks at the thought of her going down the aisle with Bruce, a dream which was becoming more concrete with each passing day.
Although, thoughts of the wedding brought up the venue, which caused Carrie to become grounded and remember why she was calling.
"Listen Bruce, are you doing anything tomorrow?"
"Well I got mass in the morning and then after that I was just going to lounge and read. Why, you want to go on a date?" Bruce asked excitedly.
Carrie's instincts pushed her to say yes, though she steeled her resolve. "Actually, I was wondering…if I could go to Church with you."
There was a pregnant pause on the other end with silence as Carrie's only answer for a couple seconds, "Bruce, are you still there?"
"Yeah, I'm here. So are Debbie and Todd tagging along…?" Bruce inquired.
"Nope, just me."
"THAT'S GREAT!" Bruce said, sounding as excited as a kid on Christmas. As if sensing Carrie's surprise, Bruce calmed down. "Sorry about that, just really happy you want to try it out. Although, I don't want you to go if you feel like I'm forcing you or you have to-" Bruce said sincerely.
"No, no. It's not that, but thanks for the thought. I was just curious what a Catholic service was like and I wanted to be there with you for one." Carrie said, hiding her more complex motivations.
"It's a shame I couldn't take you to Sacred Heart or an Irish mass but Saint Brendan's is pretty great. Good priests and lots of friendly people. I usually go to the eleven o'clock mass, is that alright with you?"
"Yeah it's fine. I assume I should show up in my Sunday best?" Carrie asked.
"Casual formal is fine, but I know you'll look great no matter what. I'll pick you up at ten or twenty after, after mass we can go out to wherever you want for lunch. Sound good?" Bruce asked.
"Sounds like a plan."
"Great. Thanks so much Carrie. Even if you don't want to go again I'm just really happy I can share this with you at least once." Bruce said sweetly, helping to comfort Carrie's fears and remind her that no matter what, Bruce would still be there for her.
The following morning Carrie dressed up in a simple green dress which stood in a fine median between elegant formal and pleasant casual. A yawning Debbie had been surprised to find Carrie getting ready so early on a Sunday morning until she explained that she was going to Church with Bruce which produced a knowing smirk and comment of it surprisingly happening later than she had expected. Fortunately for Carrie, there wasn't any strong opposition from her mother, only a promise that if she decided to convert, it was of her own wish and not to simply please Bruce, something which Carrie felt Bruce would agree with.
Around 10, Bruce had picked her up, dressed sharply in a suit and tie that Carrie would only see for the likes of film premieres and studio business. Throughout the ride to the Church, it was rather obvious that he was enthusiastic about her attendance, only a blind man would be unable to see the excitement radiating off of his body. Thankfully, throughout the ride he didn't try to begin to force her down the path of conversion, simply being thankful for the company while politely answering in full details any and all questions she had about the Church. With the kindness and patience that Bruce laced his answers with, Carrie felt her nerves start to dry away, a task that was aided by the friendly presence of John when they arrived who revealed that Bruce had convinced him to become a Church regular again after the whole Scientology fiasco.
Attending the mass alongside Bruce was an interesting experience to say the least. The service seemed to offer a middle ground between the strict traditions of Orthodox synagogue services and the free and spiritual services of the Protestant services her mother took her and Todd in infrequent Church hopping. It was all very structured and coded, but there was a lot of love in devotion in the worship carried out by most attending, an attitude heavily exemplified by Bruce who gave praise and thanks in a heavily pious manner that Carrie had previously been a stranger to. If Carrie had to describe it, the closest she could come with was beauty through order and ritual.
After Church, Bruce and John spent some time conversing with some of the fellow parishoners, all of whom conversing with the two as friends and fellow members of the flock instead of gawking at them as celebrities. Bruce took the time to introduce him to those he was closest to along with the pastor, and everyone at the very least seemed warm and welcoming, which was good. At the very least, Carrie took some enjoyment in the many frequent stories of how Bruce would go on in adoration and share loving tales of his girlfriend, something which turned the Goose very bashful, but made her happy that Bruce's love never seemed to waver.
Once that was done, John took his leave to go interview some bandmates, leaving Bruce and Carrie to unwind in his apartment and address Carrie's first mass over lunch.
"So...did you like it?" Bruce asked cautiously as he served his plate of spaghetti.
Carrie took some time to consider her words as she twirled her fork in her pasta, "It...was good I guess." Carrie replied, raising a curious eyebrow from Bruce. "I can't say I'm completely in love right away, and there's still a few beliefs and actions I don't get, but I can see why you like it and there are some parts I'm fond of."
"Let me guess, the choir?" Bruce asked, to which Carrie nodded.
"That was my favorite. Everyone had such beautiful voices and all the psalms were nicely operatic." The songs were all a very pleasant melody to Carrie's ears, and she could at the very least see herself one day sharing her voice to the chorus. "Overall it was nice, I'm grateful for how warm everyone was, but it's...a bit different." Carrie surmised.
She waited in patient fear for a few seconds, slightly apprehensive on how Bruce would respond, but fortunately it seemed to be more than enough for Bruce. "I'm very happy to hear that Carrie." He said, affectionately reaching out with his right hand to which she warmly gripped, "I know coming today was a pretty big step, and I don't want you to rush or attend weekly for my sake. What's most important is how you feel and what you believe in, and just know that whatever path you take, you have my full support." Bruce affirmed, erasing any lingering fears and doubts, assuring Carrie that no matter what she believed, she would never lose him.
For the next couple of months, Carrie attended Mass with Bruce every Sunday. With each passing week, she grew to become more familiar with the attitudes and teachings of the Church, and finally came to understand fully of the spiritual character of Bruce and what made him so devout and ready to believe. After Church, Bruce was happy to educate her further on the mysteries and tenants she did not understand, and when he prayed at their home, she no longer felt like a stranger trespassing on something sacred.
Talks between the couple also started to focus more on the wedding as the day of the question and its following steps came closer. Having attended multiple masses, Carrie grew comfortable and accepting of the idea of their wedding taking place during a nuptial mass, but one question remained unanswered. Would she walk down the aisle and exchange vows as a believer, or an outsider entering a mixed marriage? It was a issue that Carrie wished she could have had infinite time to answer, but then one day Bruce approached her in their new home and asked a question she could not delay or avoid any longer.
"Carrie, do you wish to convert to Catholicism?"
And in her heart she knew the answer.
A/N: The timetable for around this is around shortly after the release of Some Nights. The idea of the Omake isn't to fully take the place of the action, but to provide some context for possible success with Carrie having previously accompanied Bruce and knowing what she might get into, along with why she might say yes.
