Anyone who disagrees with me is Literally Hitler: A brief guide to modern political discourse
Q: Okay, so what's this about?
A: I'm glad you asked! This is an attempt to help people confused about a phrase that's been thrown around a lot during this election cycle.
Q: Sure. Where do you want to start?
A: At the beginning.
Q: Fine, I'll bite. Just who was this Hitler character?
A: Adolph Hitler was the Reichskanzler (Chancellor of the Realm) of Germany prior to and during World War 2.
Q: And how is some guy who's been dead for a century relevant to the political landscape of GDI elections?
A: He's not.
Q: Really?
A: Yes, really.
Q: No relevance at all?
A: None whatsoever!
Q: Okay... but if he's not relevant, why are so many people calling each other Hitler?
A: Ah, that's the crux of it all. There's a difference between Adolph Hitler, the historical figure, and Hitler, the myth. The former is just some guy who's been dead for more than a hundred years, it doesn't matter to anyone alive today if he shot himself or if the Human Torch incinerated him before he could press the fireproof button to set of a bunch of explosives meant to destroy Berlin rather than see it conquered or if he put on a power armor with dual miniguns before being killed by Office of Secret Actions agent B. J. Blazkowicz or if he fled to South America with the remnants of the Thule Society to create a vampire army before being killed by the remaining survivors of the Order of the Dragon... Anyway, you get the spirit. The historical Hitler has been dead for a century. He is nothing but dust.
Q: What about the Hitler Myth?
A: As the very partial list above might have given you an idea of, Nazis make incredibly convenient villains for popular culture. The nazis has been fought by adventure archeologists, vampires, supersoldiers, regular soldiers, witches, angels, demons, and so forth. Nazis have been fought in Europe, in Africa, in Asia, in North America, in South America, in the vast tunnel network that runs under every continent, in space, in Atlantis, throughout time itself!
Q: Okay, so people have killed a ton of nazis in fiction, what does that have to do with politicians calling each other names today?
A: Because pop culture nazis have so completely eclipsed the historical nazis that they have rendered the latter irrelevant. The only people who cares about boring stuff from a hundred years ago like the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei 25-point Programme are stuffy historians and the Archives and History Department (but I repeat myself
). Meanwhile, there are only two things you need to know about the pop culture nazis and how they work with political debates.
Q: What are the two things we need to know about pop culture nazis and how they work with political debates?
A: It's very simple:
- The nazis were bad.
- The nazis would have agreed with the people you disagree with.
Q: That's it?
A: That's it.
Q: That can't be very conductive to political debates.
A: That's not a question, but you're right. Then again, why would you want to have a debate with someone when they are Literally Hitler?
Q: What if I believe that people should sort out their disagreements with reasonable dialogue?
A: Then you are a tiny minority of the population. And also probably Literally Hitler.
Q: What if I don't want to be Literally Hitler?
A: Then you should stop holding political views that would align with Hitler.
Q: How do my political views align with Hitler?
A: I don't know, but let's find out. Give me an example.
Q: What if I support the Starbound Party?
A: Then you see yourself as Ubermenchen who wants to abandon your genetic inferiors to die on a Tiberium-infested Earth while you rule space as Literally Space Hitler.
Q: The Hawks?
A: You're actually called Militarists now. Also, you don't want weapons to see use against Nod, you want them used to suppress and murder your political opponents. You know, because you're Literally MARV Hitler.
Q: Socialists?
A: Like Starbound, but replace space with arcologies because you are Literally Arcology Hitler.
Q: Initiative First?
A: Like Starbound and Socialists, but replace space and arcologies with Blue Zones, you wretched Literally Blue Zone Hitler.
Q: Okay, I think get the picture. So all of this going around and calling people Hitler is just a way of telling people that you don't like their ideology?
A: No. You're getting closer, but that's far to optimistic.
Q: Optimistic? How come?
A: You're forgetting about the pop culture nazis.
Q: Huh?
A: Remember, pop culture nazis are an absolute evil. Something to be a receptacle for hatred and attacked with violence and whose just destruction should be celebrated by all properly thinking people.
Q: Oh no... I don't like this picture.
A: You shouldn't.
Q: So calling people Literally Hitler isn't saying that you disagree with their ideology, it's telling them that their ideology is evil?
A: Close, but still not far enough. Telling people that they are Literally Hitler is shorthand for
"Your ideology is an absolute evil that must be rooted out to the point of utter destruction and the only interaction anyone should have with people who think like you is to condemn them without debate because even trying to reason with followers of such a terrible way of thinking only risks spreading ideological corruption to others."
Q: That's a horrible thing to say! Why do people do it?
A: Because trying to understand people who thinks differently from you is hard. Condemning them for thinking differently from you is easy.
Q: I don't like having my political views dismissed by people calling me Literally Hitler.
A: No one does.
Q: Is there any escape from people calling each other Literally Hitler?
A: You mean besides not engaging in politics?
Q: Yes, besides not engaging in politics?
A: Probably not. Getting people to do the right thing rather than the easy thing is a problem much older than Hitler. It's the oldest problem humanity knows.
Q: Is there no hope then?
A: I didn't say that. There's always hope, as long as enough of us agree to one simple thing.
Q: What is that?
A: To be kind and understanding with other people.
Q: That's it?
A: That's it.
Q: Sounds easy enough.
A: No. It's simple, not easy. If it was easy, then everyone would be doing it. It's easy to understand and be kind to people you agree with, doing the same to those who want things to be done differently from you is hard. But it's important.
Q: Even the assholes?
A: Especially the assholes.
Q: Why is that especially important? They're assholes.
A: Not to them. To them, you're the asshole, and unless you learn to understand them, that's all you'll ever be.
Q: That does sound reasonable. Where should I start?
A: Don't call people Literally Hitler. They're not. Not even the politicians.
