Excerpt from Lady Ciaran's late night dictations, stored in folder "Drunken Ramblings at 3:00am"
-my greater point being that all these are traps. They force you into a way of thinking, a way of dealing with the force, that is not only limited but also fragile. A Jedi, when confronted with the darkside in a manner that they cannot strike it down, inevitably fall. A Sith who is forced to face the fact that there is power beyond pain, hate, and anger almost always consumes themselves in trying to match it.
Even those outside of the Jedi and Sith are not immune to such things. I initially thought the force a tool, something I could pick up when I needed it and then put down when I was done with it. Yet the truth I was forced to face is that the force is always with us. I don't mean that in some shallow platitude, but a fundamental truth. The Jedi knew this once, but have buried behind centuries of dogma and riddle "The Force is with me, and I am one with the Force." The force is with all creatures, in some manner or fashion. It is inescapable, and always present. You may not be using it, you may not feel it as most never feel it, but it is always there.
Anyway, I don't mean to talk about how the force is some creeper watching you. That isn't it at all. Getting back to the trap thing, there is another response, beyond just shattering in the face of knew knowledge. You can do what I did instead, and what the greatest force users, like Revan and Meetra did. You can grow. There's a hint there, I think.
Growing isn't always easy. I once spoke with a spirit of sorts of the Darth Traya, who once was known as Kreia, and before you say anything, shut up! I'm not a Sith! Anytime I mention anyone called Darth it's alwa-
*pause in the recording as Lady Ciaran consumes another drink*
Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh right, Darth Traya and how growing is hard. She's pretty weird. Anyway, I talked to her ghost thingy once, so I looked into her more. She decided that the force was some sort of cosmic see-saw, going back and forth between Light and Dark and Light and Dark, causing all these stupid, costly wars. So, how to end this eternal cycle of conflict? Kill the force! I have to admire the sheer audacity of her goals, but even she grew into a trap. The answer to something you cannot escape, and cannot truly control, that everyone has, is not to kill it. I mean, it is an answer, but it's the answer of the grave, of giving up.
So, what is the force? All the pieces are there. Look how the force users live their lives, and where they trip up. The Jedi try to deny they have emotions, which is bullshit. I've met some great Jedi, and let me tell you, they got feelings, but since they wont admit that they're just hilariously terrible at them. Like, Obi-wan. He's got two ladies hanging off him, and-
*skipping forward over irrelevant gossip*
What was the point again? Right, Jedi only pretend there isn't emotion. The Sith, rebelling against the Jedi, try to pretend that emotion is all there is. Anyone who has ever dealt with someone with a quick temper knows how easy it is to lead that type of person by the nose. And it must get exhausting, to do nothing but wallow in your emotions, day in, day out, for years. They completely miss reason, thought, creativity, except as a means for furthering their emotions. They miss the value these things have in themselves.
So if the force is so wide and vast, what is it really? It's present wherever we go, and always with us. It encompasses both dispassionate thought, and the strongest of emotions. The last hint was provided to me by Darth Traya. She showed me a vision of the Sith every Miraluka knows, Darth Nihilus. We know him as the great life-stealer, the all consuming maw. Yet I saw what he did, and he was eating the force.
It should be clear by now, but I think it should be said. The Force is life itself. Life. It's why it is so varied, so deep. Why the Jedi and Sith keep failing, because they try to deny entire aspects of living, why it can't be a tool, because living is something you do. There are always going to be disagreements and differences, just like no two people's lives are the same. Yet most people in the galaxy manage not to murder each other because they're not living the same life, though now I think about it, enough do that the whole kill all sith, kill all jedi thing shouldn't be surprising.
Just like life, there isn't one answer to the force. You gotta figure out what path works for you, and maybe try not to murder people for following a different one? I mean, there's plenty of reasons to murder people, but just because they're living...living their life...
PR-1, you need to...remind me...listen...morning...
*recording ends due to Lady Ciaran collapsing from exhaustion*
*Safely stored in deep storage*
*Searching for time slot in morning for Lady Ciaran to listen to recording*
*Time not found*
*Listing as low priority item on her daily agenda*