Honestly, "unlocking" them as shadow characters, even if they didn't end up working for us, would be really cool. I hope this is somehow possible in-quest!
FATHER QUEST - A Cartoon Network: Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest Cross Over
- Thread starter HellaCooltricks
- Start date
Turn 2 (RESULTS)
TURN 2 - RESULTS
[x] Operation: B.E.G.U.N. (Building a basE sUpport Now)
-[x] Fight Against the Gem Empire
--[x] Stickybeard
-[x] Set Up Government Cooperation
--[x] Toiletnator
-[x] Restructure Adult Co.
--[x] Hank Hill
-[x] Look for Your Soopervillains
-[x] Invent New Ice Cream Flavor
-[x] Read the Family Journals
-[x] Call the Moonbase
-[x] Go Through Your Rolodex
-[x] Check on Peggy and Bobby
-[x] Deal with Numbuh 13
-[X] Recruit a Hero: Izzy
NATIONAL ACTIONS
[x] Fight Against the Gem Empire
DC 80 (CF 2%, CS 8%)
1d100 = 21 + 37 + 27 = 85
Success!
After a short briefing with Stickybeard, and some slight collaboration with the United States, you chart an offensive against the Gem menace with a goal of liberating the area just beyond Niagara Falls. You set sail with The Sweet Revenge, and a few makeshift killing machines, making your way through your targets with maximum force.
To be Continued in: "Just Like Old Times".
[x] Set Up Government Cooperation
DC 60 (CF 2%, CS 8%)
1d100 = 86 + 26 + 14 + 4 = 130
Success!
Your meeting with the government goes exceedingly well. While the US is reluctant to work with super villains initially, a quick purview shows that you aren't Guild aligned and therefore were never technically a supervillain on their books. Gotta love bureaucratic loopholes. There's also the fact that you've brought Toiletnator with you, which makes you look significantly more threatening in comparison.
While it does grate your ears to hear him talk the whole time about how they're "legitimate" now, you're expedited to receive government assistance in your actions to protect and bolster the country. You also get some government liaisons who really have the "Men in Black" look down to the part. Thank god Tolienator was mostly busy with Numbuh 13.
Reward: Government Contracts available in the future!
NEW HEROES FOR RECRUITMENT: Mr. Black & Mr. White!
[x] Restructure Adult Co.
DC 65 (CF 2%, CS 8%)
1d100 = 37 + 19 + 22 + 4 = 80
Success!
Getting past those initial stumbling blocks, Hank gets things up and running faster than ever. You're putting out twice the amount of paper, three times the staples, and sales for giant killer robots are up! Hank is a bit weirded out when he sees your tie-production plant (poor fella didn't know they came from eggs), but he's doing his best, and his best is quite good.
You switched out all of your old signs and business cards. "Evil Adult Industries" was getting long in the tooth. ADULT CO is where it's at!
Reward: Further options for business ventures will open!
[x] Look for Your Soopervillains
DC 60 (CF 3%, CS 7%)
1d100 = 60 + 27 = 87
Success!
After searching high and low, you are able to get a trace on where some of your high profile villains have gotten off to. It seems Mr. Fizz has gone off to the Midwest, running rootbeer for adults and directly sabotaging other soda manufacturers. Gramma Stuffum is on a one-woman crusade to force-feed those metal-heads in Florida her cooking. You weren't even trying to find that weirdo Robin Food, but apparently he was causing all sorts of trouble in a place called Marzipan.
Mr. Boss was the one you were most curious about. He seems to be shopping around his resume these days. Evidently, he saw Adult Co. as a sinking ship without you at the helm and is now currently being courted by Scam Co.
Reward: Ability to pursue and investigate your soopervillains.
[x] Invent New Ice Cream Flavor
DC 60 (CF 4%, CS 6%)
1d100 = 44 + 19 = 63
Success!
It took your ice cream technicians some time, but they've made a flavor that they claim will cater to the highly refined adult palate. Frankly, you just care if it tastes good. Still, a never before seen scoop on the market should get Tasty Taste Ice Cream back on people's minds. In fact, the announcement of 'Salt Water Taffy' flavor in your catalog menu has seen exports out of the country skyrocket!
While you went to visit the freezer labs for some samples, a bit chewy, a large jellyfish man with wild red hair on the sides of his head blasted a hole in the wall and walked into the lab area!
"This is a restricted area!" one of your ice cream men shouted at the mutated intruder.
The man ignored your staff and examined a fresh vat of experimental ice cream.
"Finally! I was waiting for Tasty Taste to resume their ice cream operations!"
He dipped one slimy tentacle into the vat. You made a note to have that container burned later.
"If you can make ice cream, then you can make the perfect snow cone!"
"Snow CONES?" you asked as you pressed a button on the wall, revealing a cannon that would cover the stranger in a burst of adhesive-flavored riot cream.
"That's right!" The man blasted the turret to scrap with his lighting cannon without skipping a beat. "We can help each other to make the perfect snow cone!"
"Perfect, eh?"
It's been a while since you heard about anyone making a "perfect" flavor. The choice of phrasing is what makes you reconsider blasting him and having more work for the janitors.
"EXACTLY!" the man bellowed. "Professor TRIPLE EXTRA LARGE, at your service!"
He walks up to you and gives you a card. It's a sticky note with a large "XXL" written on it and nothing else.
"Mister Extra Large, you have me inTRIGUED."
Rewards: ??? and ??? has taken notice!
NEW HEROES FOR RECRUITMENT: Professor XXXL!
[x] Read the Family Journals
DC 60 (CF 5%, CS 5%)
1d100 = 86 + 15 = 101
Success!
Having a readthrough of the family logs has reminded you of your prestigious lineage of villainy. Most of your ancestors were shadow-clad evildoers, and were proud of it! It seems like most of your family doesn't really know, or care to know, about where your prodigious powerset comes from, being more concerned with what they could do with it.
Oh well. At least you remembered the important stuff, like the existence of all those ancient candy hordes around the world thanks to some old family recipes. Just like Grammy used to take!
Rewards: Father loses RAGE!
Unlocked action towards discovering Candy Wonder Quests!
Unlocked more actions to look into the source of your powers!
PERSONAL ACTIONS
FATHER
[X] Moonbase Call (3)
What a waste of your time! It was going relatively fast at first as the off-putting children kept going up their chain of command. Unfortunately for you, one of the kids then handed the call to what appeared to be a large cat man with a mask and a serious underbite problem. He just keeps screaming his name! Hopefully, his screaming will get someone actually useful on the line. Either that or drive everyone to other parts of the base, but you still have some hope.
(Progress 91/100)
[X] Checking your Rolodex (97)
After checking through your rolodex, you begin to realize that this wasn't even your rolodex! This was your brother's! The one you bought for him but never gave him because you hated him! And it was filled with a bunch of weird card game stuff! You never agreed to have a card made in your likeness! After fishing around, you're able to find YOUR rolodex.
Let's see… Oh! Some business cards! Not to mention numbers from your days in Junior-Villains youth camp!
Reward: Personal actions to contact other villains unlocked.
Pow Cards for potential hero units may be shown in future updates!
HANK HILL
[X] Check on Peggy and Bobby (79)
It's a bit awkward for Hank to call them, but they're happy to hear from them. While it was hard for Hank to be so far from them, his recent promotion and success have shown that he has been able to make a new living after Mandy crushed most of the fossil fuel energy contractors with her cheap, reliable Underworld Reactors. He tries his best to dance around the whole 'working for an evil villain' for a bit as he talks to his wife and kid, but he's able to give them a decent picture of his work.
Reward: +5% loyalty to Hank
TOILETNATOR
[X] Get Rid of Numbuh 13 (13)
So, it would seem that Tolienator has met his match at last. FINALLY! A WORTHY FOE! After repeated attempts to get rid of Numbuh 13, Tolienator has become determined that the incompetent agent he has been tasked with is actually an incredibly dangerous and talented super-agent! Tolienator has bought into his hype, so-much-so that he has sworn that he will be his personal foe!
A little bit after that, you saw that Numbuh 13 kid stumbling into your topiary garden and ruining the figures. The brat came staggering out with a bushel of branches in his hands in your general direction and Toiletnator flipped his lid.
"ASSASSIN! Don't you dare touch Father with that broccoli!"
Lunging over at the operative, he accidentally trips over his toilet paper cape and tumbles across the head of the agent and into your garden, ruining it even further.
Toiletnator has been increasingly insistent that you hire a bodyguard ever since.
Reward: Personal Actions for Tolienator to Thwart Numbuh 13
Father gains RAGE.
New Trait for Tolienator:
Triskaidekaphobia: Ever since he has sworn Numbuh 13 as his enemy, Tolienator has made it his mission to defeat this great agent of the KND! If Tolienator rolls a 13 or a number divisible by 13 on a personal action, he must immediately switch that action to waging a personal attack on whoever his sworn enemy is.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Within the hour of her release, you are already at the prison, waiting in your stretch limo. You even brought the good soda. As Izzy made her way from the crowd, she walked freely of her straight jacket and muzzle. She seemed almost… normal at fist, waving and smiling at the crowd. But as soon as she saw your limo, it was almost like something flipped in the back of her mind. Something changes in her posture, and suddenly people are running, screaming, as Izzy pulls a knife and cackles madly, warding off the crowds of less determined fans, leaving only the true nutters and paparazzi. Once the horde has been thinned, Izzy pulls a standing front flip that sees her breaking free of the crowd, before breaking for the limo. As she goes, she chucks her knife outwards, opening the door with an utterly deranged laugh.
"I'll see you all in therapy! HAHA!"
And with that, she ducks in, and the limo takes off. The absolute second Izzy was out of sight of the public, you could practically see the change on her face. The mania slips away, the madness pulls away like a mask, and already she's looking you over, puzzling about what to say, what to do, what to be. Instead, you just lean back, clapping slowly.
"Okay, not expecting the spooky shadow-covered father figure to be the first in line to pick me up. Got a name, pappy?"
Your eyes narrow slightly, but you brush the name off.
"You can address me as FATHER. But from what I understand you, missy, ARE in a heap of trouble with one MR. McLean. Am I correct?"
"Father, huh? You think you can handle more than a few hitmen and assassination attempts?"
"If I COULDN'T, I wouldn't be here."
"Fair enough. Guess the question is what do you want from me, tough guy?"
"Straight to the point, HUH? I like that. I'm looking for people with particular sets of skills. And from what I can tell, NOT ONLY do you have these skills, but in addition YOU are famous. From what I understand, that also makes you a BIG thorn in the side of that pompous, no-good, EGO-INFLATED Chris McLean."
"Ah, bingo. Looking for a dangerous woman with an edge to her, eager to get her foot in the door, climb up that ladder and take the world by storm."
"Well, you kinda went off the rails there a bit, BUT I think we can work something out. I want somebody who knows their way around people, and knows how to play 'em like suckers. Think you can do that?"
"Sounds easy enough."
"Then we have OURSELVES a deal."
HERO RECRUITED:
Izzy
Martial: 25
Diplomacy: 20
Stewardship: 12
Intrigue: 29
Learning: 10
Occult: 0
TRAITS
Ha ha, I'm Psychotic!: +3 Intrigue against those who believe Izzy is crazy or utterly deranged. In order to trigger this effect, the target must know she is crazy.
She's Totally Famous: Izzy gains +5 Diplomacy against those that are fans of Total Drama.
[x] Operation: B.E.G.U.N. (Building a basE sUpport Now)
-[x] Fight Against the Gem Empire
--[x] Stickybeard
-[x] Set Up Government Cooperation
--[x] Toiletnator
-[x] Restructure Adult Co.
--[x] Hank Hill
-[x] Look for Your Soopervillains
-[x] Invent New Ice Cream Flavor
-[x] Read the Family Journals
-[x] Call the Moonbase
-[x] Go Through Your Rolodex
-[x] Check on Peggy and Bobby
-[x] Deal with Numbuh 13
-[X] Recruit a Hero: Izzy
NATIONAL ACTIONS
[x] Fight Against the Gem Empire
DC 80 (CF 2%, CS 8%)
1d100 = 21 + 37 + 27 = 85
Success!
After a short briefing with Stickybeard, and some slight collaboration with the United States, you chart an offensive against the Gem menace with a goal of liberating the area just beyond Niagara Falls. You set sail with The Sweet Revenge, and a few makeshift killing machines, making your way through your targets with maximum force.
To be Continued in: "Just Like Old Times".
[x] Set Up Government Cooperation
DC 60 (CF 2%, CS 8%)
1d100 = 86 + 26 + 14 + 4 = 130
Success!
Your meeting with the government goes exceedingly well. While the US is reluctant to work with super villains initially, a quick purview shows that you aren't Guild aligned and therefore were never technically a supervillain on their books. Gotta love bureaucratic loopholes. There's also the fact that you've brought Toiletnator with you, which makes you look significantly more threatening in comparison.
While it does grate your ears to hear him talk the whole time about how they're "legitimate" now, you're expedited to receive government assistance in your actions to protect and bolster the country. You also get some government liaisons who really have the "Men in Black" look down to the part. Thank god Tolienator was mostly busy with Numbuh 13.
Reward: Government Contracts available in the future!
NEW HEROES FOR RECRUITMENT: Mr. Black & Mr. White!
[x] Restructure Adult Co.
DC 65 (CF 2%, CS 8%)
1d100 = 37 + 19 + 22 + 4 = 80
Success!
Getting past those initial stumbling blocks, Hank gets things up and running faster than ever. You're putting out twice the amount of paper, three times the staples, and sales for giant killer robots are up! Hank is a bit weirded out when he sees your tie-production plant (poor fella didn't know they came from eggs), but he's doing his best, and his best is quite good.
You switched out all of your old signs and business cards. "Evil Adult Industries" was getting long in the tooth. ADULT CO is where it's at!
Reward: Further options for business ventures will open!
[x] Look for Your Soopervillains
DC 60 (CF 3%, CS 7%)
1d100 = 60 + 27 = 87
Success!
After searching high and low, you are able to get a trace on where some of your high profile villains have gotten off to. It seems Mr. Fizz has gone off to the Midwest, running rootbeer for adults and directly sabotaging other soda manufacturers. Gramma Stuffum is on a one-woman crusade to force-feed those metal-heads in Florida her cooking. You weren't even trying to find that weirdo Robin Food, but apparently he was causing all sorts of trouble in a place called Marzipan.
Mr. Boss was the one you were most curious about. He seems to be shopping around his resume these days. Evidently, he saw Adult Co. as a sinking ship without you at the helm and is now currently being courted by Scam Co.
Reward: Ability to pursue and investigate your soopervillains.
[x] Invent New Ice Cream Flavor
DC 60 (CF 4%, CS 6%)
1d100 = 44 + 19 = 63
Success!
It took your ice cream technicians some time, but they've made a flavor that they claim will cater to the highly refined adult palate. Frankly, you just care if it tastes good. Still, a never before seen scoop on the market should get Tasty Taste Ice Cream back on people's minds. In fact, the announcement of 'Salt Water Taffy' flavor in your catalog menu has seen exports out of the country skyrocket!
While you went to visit the freezer labs for some samples, a bit chewy, a large jellyfish man with wild red hair on the sides of his head blasted a hole in the wall and walked into the lab area!
"This is a restricted area!" one of your ice cream men shouted at the mutated intruder.
The man ignored your staff and examined a fresh vat of experimental ice cream.
"Finally! I was waiting for Tasty Taste to resume their ice cream operations!"
He dipped one slimy tentacle into the vat. You made a note to have that container burned later.
"If you can make ice cream, then you can make the perfect snow cone!"
"Snow CONES?" you asked as you pressed a button on the wall, revealing a cannon that would cover the stranger in a burst of adhesive-flavored riot cream.
"That's right!" The man blasted the turret to scrap with his lighting cannon without skipping a beat. "We can help each other to make the perfect snow cone!"
"Perfect, eh?"
It's been a while since you heard about anyone making a "perfect" flavor. The choice of phrasing is what makes you reconsider blasting him and having more work for the janitors.
"EXACTLY!" the man bellowed. "Professor TRIPLE EXTRA LARGE, at your service!"
He walks up to you and gives you a card. It's a sticky note with a large "XXL" written on it and nothing else.
"Mister Extra Large, you have me inTRIGUED."
Rewards: ??? and ??? has taken notice!
NEW HEROES FOR RECRUITMENT: Professor XXXL!
[x] Read the Family Journals
DC 60 (CF 5%, CS 5%)
1d100 = 86 + 15 = 101
Success!
Having a readthrough of the family logs has reminded you of your prestigious lineage of villainy. Most of your ancestors were shadow-clad evildoers, and were proud of it! It seems like most of your family doesn't really know, or care to know, about where your prodigious powerset comes from, being more concerned with what they could do with it.
Oh well. At least you remembered the important stuff, like the existence of all those ancient candy hordes around the world thanks to some old family recipes. Just like Grammy used to take!
Rewards: Father loses RAGE!
Unlocked action towards discovering Candy Wonder Quests!
Unlocked more actions to look into the source of your powers!
PERSONAL ACTIONS
FATHER
[X] Moonbase Call (3)
What a waste of your time! It was going relatively fast at first as the off-putting children kept going up their chain of command. Unfortunately for you, one of the kids then handed the call to what appeared to be a large cat man with a mask and a serious underbite problem. He just keeps screaming his name! Hopefully, his screaming will get someone actually useful on the line. Either that or drive everyone to other parts of the base, but you still have some hope.
(Progress 91/100)
[X] Checking your Rolodex (97)
After checking through your rolodex, you begin to realize that this wasn't even your rolodex! This was your brother's! The one you bought for him but never gave him because you hated him! And it was filled with a bunch of weird card game stuff! You never agreed to have a card made in your likeness! After fishing around, you're able to find YOUR rolodex.
Let's see… Oh! Some business cards! Not to mention numbers from your days in Junior-Villains youth camp!
Reward: Personal actions to contact other villains unlocked.
Pow Cards for potential hero units may be shown in future updates!
HANK HILL
[X] Check on Peggy and Bobby (79)
It's a bit awkward for Hank to call them, but they're happy to hear from them. While it was hard for Hank to be so far from them, his recent promotion and success have shown that he has been able to make a new living after Mandy crushed most of the fossil fuel energy contractors with her cheap, reliable Underworld Reactors. He tries his best to dance around the whole 'working for an evil villain' for a bit as he talks to his wife and kid, but he's able to give them a decent picture of his work.
Reward: +5% loyalty to Hank
TOILETNATOR
[X] Get Rid of Numbuh 13 (13)
So, it would seem that Tolienator has met his match at last. FINALLY! A WORTHY FOE! After repeated attempts to get rid of Numbuh 13, Tolienator has become determined that the incompetent agent he has been tasked with is actually an incredibly dangerous and talented super-agent! Tolienator has bought into his hype, so-much-so that he has sworn that he will be his personal foe!
A little bit after that, you saw that Numbuh 13 kid stumbling into your topiary garden and ruining the figures. The brat came staggering out with a bushel of branches in his hands in your general direction and Toiletnator flipped his lid.
"ASSASSIN! Don't you dare touch Father with that broccoli!"
Lunging over at the operative, he accidentally trips over his toilet paper cape and tumbles across the head of the agent and into your garden, ruining it even further.
Toiletnator has been increasingly insistent that you hire a bodyguard ever since.
Reward: Personal Actions for Tolienator to Thwart Numbuh 13
Father gains RAGE.
New Trait for Tolienator:
Triskaidekaphobia: Ever since he has sworn Numbuh 13 as his enemy, Tolienator has made it his mission to defeat this great agent of the KND! If Tolienator rolls a 13 or a number divisible by 13 on a personal action, he must immediately switch that action to waging a personal attack on whoever his sworn enemy is.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Within the hour of her release, you are already at the prison, waiting in your stretch limo. You even brought the good soda. As Izzy made her way from the crowd, she walked freely of her straight jacket and muzzle. She seemed almost… normal at fist, waving and smiling at the crowd. But as soon as she saw your limo, it was almost like something flipped in the back of her mind. Something changes in her posture, and suddenly people are running, screaming, as Izzy pulls a knife and cackles madly, warding off the crowds of less determined fans, leaving only the true nutters and paparazzi. Once the horde has been thinned, Izzy pulls a standing front flip that sees her breaking free of the crowd, before breaking for the limo. As she goes, she chucks her knife outwards, opening the door with an utterly deranged laugh.
"I'll see you all in therapy! HAHA!"
And with that, she ducks in, and the limo takes off. The absolute second Izzy was out of sight of the public, you could practically see the change on her face. The mania slips away, the madness pulls away like a mask, and already she's looking you over, puzzling about what to say, what to do, what to be. Instead, you just lean back, clapping slowly.
"Okay, not expecting the spooky shadow-covered father figure to be the first in line to pick me up. Got a name, pappy?"
Your eyes narrow slightly, but you brush the name off.
"You can address me as FATHER. But from what I understand you, missy, ARE in a heap of trouble with one MR. McLean. Am I correct?"
"Father, huh? You think you can handle more than a few hitmen and assassination attempts?"
"If I COULDN'T, I wouldn't be here."
"Fair enough. Guess the question is what do you want from me, tough guy?"
"Straight to the point, HUH? I like that. I'm looking for people with particular sets of skills. And from what I can tell, NOT ONLY do you have these skills, but in addition YOU are famous. From what I understand, that also makes you a BIG thorn in the side of that pompous, no-good, EGO-INFLATED Chris McLean."
"Ah, bingo. Looking for a dangerous woman with an edge to her, eager to get her foot in the door, climb up that ladder and take the world by storm."
"Well, you kinda went off the rails there a bit, BUT I think we can work something out. I want somebody who knows their way around people, and knows how to play 'em like suckers. Think you can do that?"
"Sounds easy enough."
"Then we have OURSELVES a deal."
HERO RECRUITED:
Izzy
Martial: 25
Diplomacy: 20
Stewardship: 12
Intrigue: 29
Learning: 10
Occult: 0
TRAITS
Ha ha, I'm Psychotic!: +3 Intrigue against those who believe Izzy is crazy or utterly deranged. In order to trigger this effect, the target must know she is crazy.
She's Totally Famous: Izzy gains +5 Diplomacy against those that are fans of Total Drama.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
My feeling is that a good way to mend bridges is to help them unlock their shadow forms. The forms don't seem to have any downside to having on 24/7, so they would probably not mind the power up
If we can figure out the secret to our families weird ass powers by starting an investigation with the family journals we have, thats probably the route to doing that
If we can figure out the secret to our families weird ass powers by starting an investigation with the family journals we have, thats probably the route to doing that
- Location
- Oregon
Should be "Toilet". I think the exact same error is on the character sheet for him too.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
.................................................. My prediction that toilet would get 13 again was right
Interlude: Just Like Old Times
"This is Colonial Outpost Clade-23, Sector 2, do you copy? This is Quartz Cut 234, and we need immediate assistance! We are currently under attack! Respond, this is Quartz Cut-"
The quartz's words were cut short as a blast of fire consumed her, her physical form collapsing from the immense heat of the flame. With a clattering tumble, her gem hit the floor.
"These aliens talk TOO MUCH."
"Aye! They'd be doin' better if they nae squawk so much!"
As you strode into the room, you had to admit, you cut quite the imposing entrance. Appearing as dangerous figures, one rotund, hairy and sticky and the other tall, imposing and cloaked in reddish shadow, the two of you loomed over the outpost's final defenses. Almost immediately upon breaching the command room, a swarm of Rubies piled forth, their tiny implements of war flashing into their hands as they charged, giving time for the other, higher-ranking, gems to find cover or make a plan of attack. You weren't sure what was up with the little red runts, but something about them ticked you off. Maybe it was the fact that your fire had a harder time blasting them away. Maybe it was the way they looked at you. Never the matter.
"After YOU."
Reaching your hand out, you allowed Stickybeard to deal with them. With an affirmative nod, he was upon them; the first Ruby was practically shell shocked as a sharp peppermint spike drove its way through it's hair, before giving out a visceral yelp as the candy-pirate smacked it hard with his candy-hook, causing it's form to poof. The other Rubies fared far worse, as Stickybeard dispatched the others with quick, piercing prods of his sword. As he did so the other gems, mostly Quartz, pounced, their muscular and strong builds charging forth, thinking they had the pirate surrounded. They had taken the sacrifice of their underlings and used it to surround him. A fool's mistake. Stickybeard easily dodged the first few, their blades and spears jabbing and slicing in a flurry of attacks. It was only when one managed to circle around him did you feel the need to step in.
"Filthy Earth scum! For Hom-"
"Now, now. WHERE'S the honor in stabbin' him where HE AIN'T looking?"
In a poof of black smoke and electricity, you appeared, grabbing the suddenly-sweating gem by her meaty wrist.
"Yar, much obliged!"
"ANY time."
The gem struggled for a moment before, with a simple toss, you flung the Quartz over your shoulder to a very surprised Topaz, who had been trying to sneak up on where you were before you teleported. Snapping your fingers, the Quartz immolated into a pyre, which quickly 'poofed' the both of them. Back to back with Stickybeard, now surrounded by gems, you prepared yourself. You bit down hard on your pipe, a little habit you had developed when really getting into the flow of a fight.
"Ye ready Father?"
"AS EVER!"
It was then that the remaining defenses charged, and the world became a blur. Whips, spears, swords and more came flying at you, and just as quickly were turned aside. Admittedly, you weren't the fastest on your feet, but you were more than capable of catching the more clumsy or slower attacks and turning them back on your opponents. As a Topaz tried to drop a hammer the size of a fridge on you, you quickly vanished, before giving it a flaming slap which sent it flying across the room. Spinning on your heel, you instinctively lashed out with a simmering whip, raking an entire flank of these gems of their feet. At first, it was a strange weight in your chest when you saw them explode, thinking that you had overdone it a little. But as you found out that they were, as Stickybeard put it, 'not dead, just sleeping in thar little shinies', you got a lot more enthusiastic.
"DIDN'T ANYONE teach YOU to respect YOUR elders!?!"
Flinging both arms out, a massive gout of white-hot flames consumed what was in front of you, leaving only soot-covered gemstones in its wake. Stickybeard kept up, but as you looked, you could see him trailing behind, only by a smidge. His style with his sword saw him easily dispatch most of the lesser aliens with ease, running them through with sharp-as-steel sugar. It only became a problem with the last, as his sword jabbed into the gem, breaking its tip. He blinked and looked at it before quickly sticking it in his mouth, swirling the blade in his mouth, before drawing forth a new point. The gem was astonished, and perhaps more than a little disgusted before it too was plunged through.
"Yar, that was a close call!"
"Not a BAD warm up."
"Ye, I'll agree thar was a sweet duel."
As you cleared out the stragglers you looked around the command room, its alien surfaces reflective and advanced. But even you could tell it wasn't exactly up-to-snuff. Weird, broken geometry (geology?) seemed scattered about the room, and even part of the command room seemed to be using cannibalized parts of human technology. Just looking it over, you could tell they were co-opting some parts of military broadcasting hardware to help boost their signal, not to mention the use of stolen Canadian vehicles in the fight to get here. It had been a long couple of months, and you had to admit it, but these gems were far more dangerous than you had initially thought. Sure, you had thought, they had beaten the Canadian military. But that was Canada. Anybody could do that, you think. But as you fought them, you had begun to admit that they were more than a match for any lesser force. They were blisteringly fast, closing gaps in moments, and quickly overwhelming any regular or unskilled human within seconds. While they didn't seem to prefer too many ranged weapons, the few they did nearly blew the Sweet Revenge out of the ground. You had seen even a few of their bigger troops cleave entire tanks in half. Overall, they were pretty scary for most people.
"HUH. Well, That was most invigorating."
"Aye. Nae a bad spar, indeed. We gave them shiny-dullards a licking that they shan't soo ferget!"
"INDEED."
As the two of you walked over to the monitoring station, you watched with satisfaction. The Sweet Revenge was plowing around the enemy base, shelling what few remaining gems left with massive globs of gum or armor-busting jaw-breakers that carved through the struggling Robo-orb things. Capturing this base had been the result of a two-month campaign, a personal goal to show these would-be invaders exactly what would happen to anybody who stepped into your territory. Plus, this might get you some brownie points with Good Ol' UNCLE SAM. As you watched with pride, you heard the clacking of peppermint upon the polished ground.
"Well, don't ye look happy with yerself."
"Obviously. We JUST crushed an entire alien compound. I'M pleased with it."
"I can see thar."
You watch further, and silence fills the room. You are not sure why, but you feel that sense of pride slowly fade.
"Aye, I will admit Father, whyle it was a job well done, It's nae exactly in character fer ya to fight somebody else's fight."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I reckon ye have changed a bit, Father. Typically, I'd figer' that ye would be chasin' round the KND or somethin' or othar. Not fightin' aliens, letta lone askin' me to help."
You thought about that for a second. Why exactly were you out here, fighting aliens again? Logically, you knew you were here to get on the good side of the government. But then again, Stickybeard had a point. You were…. Well, you weren't sure exactly where you fit in. You were the good guy here, right? You were fighting aliens on behalf of all red-blooded adult Americans. You were just doing what you've always done. And this was just the latest result of the path you had chosen. Obviously.
"Eh, you've gone through ONE too many suckers."
"Yar, suite ye self. I know a look of a man whose been 'arrowed."
"Whatever."
A silence descended over the command center once again, interrupted only by Stickybeard ripping free another piece of hard-candy from his facial hair. With a rehearsed motion, he quickly plopped it into his mouth, chewing on it with his few-good teeth.
"...I. womder if any a' em are made a rock candy."
"WELL, I'm not gonna be the one to find out."
REWARDS: Escalation of Gem-US War Actions
Research Gem-Technology actions
Father and Stickybeard have taken a Gem warship as salvage! You can now research Gem technology.
The quartz's words were cut short as a blast of fire consumed her, her physical form collapsing from the immense heat of the flame. With a clattering tumble, her gem hit the floor.
"These aliens talk TOO MUCH."
"Aye! They'd be doin' better if they nae squawk so much!"
As you strode into the room, you had to admit, you cut quite the imposing entrance. Appearing as dangerous figures, one rotund, hairy and sticky and the other tall, imposing and cloaked in reddish shadow, the two of you loomed over the outpost's final defenses. Almost immediately upon breaching the command room, a swarm of Rubies piled forth, their tiny implements of war flashing into their hands as they charged, giving time for the other, higher-ranking, gems to find cover or make a plan of attack. You weren't sure what was up with the little red runts, but something about them ticked you off. Maybe it was the fact that your fire had a harder time blasting them away. Maybe it was the way they looked at you. Never the matter.
"After YOU."
Reaching your hand out, you allowed Stickybeard to deal with them. With an affirmative nod, he was upon them; the first Ruby was practically shell shocked as a sharp peppermint spike drove its way through it's hair, before giving out a visceral yelp as the candy-pirate smacked it hard with his candy-hook, causing it's form to poof. The other Rubies fared far worse, as Stickybeard dispatched the others with quick, piercing prods of his sword. As he did so the other gems, mostly Quartz, pounced, their muscular and strong builds charging forth, thinking they had the pirate surrounded. They had taken the sacrifice of their underlings and used it to surround him. A fool's mistake. Stickybeard easily dodged the first few, their blades and spears jabbing and slicing in a flurry of attacks. It was only when one managed to circle around him did you feel the need to step in.
"Filthy Earth scum! For Hom-"
"Now, now. WHERE'S the honor in stabbin' him where HE AIN'T looking?"
In a poof of black smoke and electricity, you appeared, grabbing the suddenly-sweating gem by her meaty wrist.
"Yar, much obliged!"
"ANY time."
The gem struggled for a moment before, with a simple toss, you flung the Quartz over your shoulder to a very surprised Topaz, who had been trying to sneak up on where you were before you teleported. Snapping your fingers, the Quartz immolated into a pyre, which quickly 'poofed' the both of them. Back to back with Stickybeard, now surrounded by gems, you prepared yourself. You bit down hard on your pipe, a little habit you had developed when really getting into the flow of a fight.
"Ye ready Father?"
"AS EVER!"
It was then that the remaining defenses charged, and the world became a blur. Whips, spears, swords and more came flying at you, and just as quickly were turned aside. Admittedly, you weren't the fastest on your feet, but you were more than capable of catching the more clumsy or slower attacks and turning them back on your opponents. As a Topaz tried to drop a hammer the size of a fridge on you, you quickly vanished, before giving it a flaming slap which sent it flying across the room. Spinning on your heel, you instinctively lashed out with a simmering whip, raking an entire flank of these gems of their feet. At first, it was a strange weight in your chest when you saw them explode, thinking that you had overdone it a little. But as you found out that they were, as Stickybeard put it, 'not dead, just sleeping in thar little shinies', you got a lot more enthusiastic.
"DIDN'T ANYONE teach YOU to respect YOUR elders!?!"
Flinging both arms out, a massive gout of white-hot flames consumed what was in front of you, leaving only soot-covered gemstones in its wake. Stickybeard kept up, but as you looked, you could see him trailing behind, only by a smidge. His style with his sword saw him easily dispatch most of the lesser aliens with ease, running them through with sharp-as-steel sugar. It only became a problem with the last, as his sword jabbed into the gem, breaking its tip. He blinked and looked at it before quickly sticking it in his mouth, swirling the blade in his mouth, before drawing forth a new point. The gem was astonished, and perhaps more than a little disgusted before it too was plunged through.
"Yar, that was a close call!"
"Not a BAD warm up."
"Ye, I'll agree thar was a sweet duel."
As you cleared out the stragglers you looked around the command room, its alien surfaces reflective and advanced. But even you could tell it wasn't exactly up-to-snuff. Weird, broken geometry (geology?) seemed scattered about the room, and even part of the command room seemed to be using cannibalized parts of human technology. Just looking it over, you could tell they were co-opting some parts of military broadcasting hardware to help boost their signal, not to mention the use of stolen Canadian vehicles in the fight to get here. It had been a long couple of months, and you had to admit it, but these gems were far more dangerous than you had initially thought. Sure, you had thought, they had beaten the Canadian military. But that was Canada. Anybody could do that, you think. But as you fought them, you had begun to admit that they were more than a match for any lesser force. They were blisteringly fast, closing gaps in moments, and quickly overwhelming any regular or unskilled human within seconds. While they didn't seem to prefer too many ranged weapons, the few they did nearly blew the Sweet Revenge out of the ground. You had seen even a few of their bigger troops cleave entire tanks in half. Overall, they were pretty scary for most people.
"HUH. Well, That was most invigorating."
"Aye. Nae a bad spar, indeed. We gave them shiny-dullards a licking that they shan't soo ferget!"
"INDEED."
As the two of you walked over to the monitoring station, you watched with satisfaction. The Sweet Revenge was plowing around the enemy base, shelling what few remaining gems left with massive globs of gum or armor-busting jaw-breakers that carved through the struggling Robo-orb things. Capturing this base had been the result of a two-month campaign, a personal goal to show these would-be invaders exactly what would happen to anybody who stepped into your territory. Plus, this might get you some brownie points with Good Ol' UNCLE SAM. As you watched with pride, you heard the clacking of peppermint upon the polished ground.
"Well, don't ye look happy with yerself."
"Obviously. We JUST crushed an entire alien compound. I'M pleased with it."
"I can see thar."
You watch further, and silence fills the room. You are not sure why, but you feel that sense of pride slowly fade.
"Aye, I will admit Father, whyle it was a job well done, It's nae exactly in character fer ya to fight somebody else's fight."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I reckon ye have changed a bit, Father. Typically, I'd figer' that ye would be chasin' round the KND or somethin' or othar. Not fightin' aliens, letta lone askin' me to help."
You thought about that for a second. Why exactly were you out here, fighting aliens again? Logically, you knew you were here to get on the good side of the government. But then again, Stickybeard had a point. You were…. Well, you weren't sure exactly where you fit in. You were the good guy here, right? You were fighting aliens on behalf of all red-blooded adult Americans. You were just doing what you've always done. And this was just the latest result of the path you had chosen. Obviously.
"Eh, you've gone through ONE too many suckers."
"Yar, suite ye self. I know a look of a man whose been 'arrowed."
"Whatever."
A silence descended over the command center once again, interrupted only by Stickybeard ripping free another piece of hard-candy from his facial hair. With a rehearsed motion, he quickly plopped it into his mouth, chewing on it with his few-good teeth.
"...I. womder if any a' em are made a rock candy."
"WELL, I'm not gonna be the one to find out."
REWARDS: Escalation of Gem-US War Actions
Research Gem-Technology actions
Father and Stickybeard have taken a Gem warship as salvage! You can now research Gem technology.
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- Pronouns
- He/Him
Wow, we are just getting everything! Excellent.
I'm really happy about almost everything in the update. The 3 on the calling the moonbase is annoying, but its not a 1 so im fine with it. The options to investigate our heritage and quests are great, and my gift of prophecy predicting the 13 ahead of time was hilarious
Also, GODDAMN izzy is a good unit, holy shit
I'm really happy about almost everything in the update. The 3 on the calling the moonbase is annoying, but its not a 1 so im fine with it. The options to investigate our heritage and quests are great, and my gift of prophecy predicting the 13 ahead of time was hilarious
Also, GODDAMN izzy is a good unit, holy shit
I don't even care that 13 continues to be 13, I think those kinds of shenanigans are hilarious. And everything else went swimmingly, so I am very satisfied!
- Location
- Oregon
Had a new thought. Two super geniuses worth recruiting if the setting has been included. Mary and Susan Test.
Only thought of them after seeing the two Government Agents; was wondering if it might be those guys from the show.
Only thought of them after seeing the two Government Agents; was wondering if it might be those guys from the show.
Yep. Decent in just about everything, save for Stewardship and Learning, but, like...What were you expecting? And I foresee room to grow...
We actually know that one of the Test siblings is working for Eddy now. The other...Well, unclear.
Also, sidebar, in terms of our soopervillains, I want to get Mr. Boss and Grandma Stuffums. Both are very useful in their own ways.
Hm. Intersting. Do I sense...Guilt?
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Hey did we recruit the wizards
- Pronouns
- He/Him
.... I just realized, does that Total drama fan diplomacy buff work on Chris Mclean? Cause he's the biggest fan of his show of all!
Sadly, it's canceled out by his own trait, "Teen Hater: Teenagers gain a -5 to Diplo checks towards Chris McLean".
- Location
- Oregon
Thread's going a mile a minute. But after a quick moment of math, any numbers divisible by 13... I think on a d100, that means Toilenator now has a 7% chance of diverting his focus to his rival/arch enemy everytime he rolls.
It's because they remind him of CHILDREN, isn't it?
- Location
- California
He's more used to finished products. He's just learning the full adult truth.
So I think we should ignore Mr. Boss, and stick with Hank for the time being. We haven't seen Hank's full potential.
Very concerning, but at least Father knows his brother used the rolladex he gifted Monty.
Despite the low roll, Toiletnator has a point. Father is going to need more people, and a bodyguard who can kite assassins or watch his back would be a good thing.
Is that....introspection? Father must be slowly acclimating to that character growth.
- Location
- The Z-Cave
This discussion is my favorite part of the update and the most interesting. It seems to me that doing non-KND-soopervillain actions is the key to Father growing as a character. Definitely makes me to continue to take actions that will expand Father's horizons.
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Given that those are Rubies, who, in addition to being roughly the size of human children, are also hot-blooded fire users...I imagine he feels an odd resemblance. And he hates it.
Indeed. Full redemption may not be on the table, but I do want some character growth. Fighting children is a waste of our potential, and Father's lack of self-esteem is his biggest weakness. For someone who puts so much weight on being an adult, he often doesn't act like it. Changing that is probably gonna be useful. At the end of the day, we need to move on from Grandfather (and, hopefully, in the process, realize that being like him wouldn't be good even if we could do it).
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- Location
- California
Do you think the Ruby's looked at him with fear or hate?
- Location
- NJ
Alright so government contracts available and perhaps would be spies to keep an eye on us.
More options open for our business, hopefully they'll provide good money for us.
We definitely need to get Boss back on our side, not sure what to think about the others though.
The first one hopefully isn't to bad, but The Professor could help make sweet treats for us if he can provide some new soldiers as well.
Alright we'll need to do this again next turn.
Well at least we have our contacts back, maybe we can invite them to a barbecue as a reunion.
Yes Hank, join the villain side.
We really need to improve Tolitenator..
Hehe, Izzy is definitely worth hiring, hopefully we can keep her loyal though.
Hmm, does Stickybeard have something against us doing this instead of targeting the KND?
But we should definitely research the Gem tech quickly before the US does.
Lifeandlice
Practitioning side-character
- Location
- Usa
So it didn't go suuuuuper well but still a swell enough success. Very nice folks, just gotta wait on that interlude now.
Oh thank goodness we've got this locked in. And it seems we're one of the first/only capital V Villains working with them right now, handy stuff there. Though we might not be able to join the guild now without issues here but we'll burn those bridges when we get to them.
Thank the gods. It's done and that's all we needed from it.
Huh...Mr. Boss worth retrieving perhaps? He's probably solid Stewardship but I like Hank. Maybe we can grab another company for him to be the CEO of
Ooooooo salt water taffy would be nice, though I think it'd probably work better as something like a gelato than a straight ice cream. Also Professor XXL is a very nice grab I will say. Solid learning probably, and the less ice units that spread the better.
I might be biased however. He's a stepping stone to biopunk with his mutations and I've always had a fascination with that.
Hm, well some use atleast. Glad it passed too.
The real question though. Did we get the specs for the Triplets cryo nuke thing? That thing froze thousands of kids for years.
...bruh. oh well, is what it is.
Hot damn! Card game! Bright and shiny colors to collect!
Oh nice, +5 seems good. That explains how he went down and got here to. Need to make sure to check in occasionally, get this man some vacation time, or move them or something. Family is important and Bobby needs some parental guidance about as much as Hank needs his son to open him up.
....what kinda fuckin luck is that.
Deep breath 13, 26, 39, 52, 65, 78, 91, 104. I doubt he can roll much higher so that's as far as I'm going but wow. An 8/104 chance isn't high or anything but it can be tricky if it crops up.
Ouch. Maybe don't use that particular parental name yeah?
Ho ho holy shit! There's a solid Intrigue/Martial unit for us folks! With a side order of Diplo to boot! What a great get!
Very nice turn overall with a nice Omake to look forward to too. Got pretty much everything we wanted even if some were a bit more bland that hoped and a mildly annoying trait has cropped up.
Though we are seeming going to be stuck in the eternal hell of a very slow recruitment process. Least this slows down our need for someone like Knightbrace and Spankulot? Though if we want Mr. Boss he's probably also on a timer if even available, which sucks because we have to get our Occult sorted out next turn.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Given that stickybeard has likely moved on from attacking kids to general candy piracy? I doubt it. His deal was never pissing off kids anyway, it was always a side effect of him hunting for loot
Bright and shiny? Come on, we're an ADULT here. Business cards it is!Hot damn! Card game! Bright and shiny colors to collect!