Stars Represent 5-15 in an attribute Typically every etra star is 10, but the first star can be anywhere from 1-10, so 3 stars is around 21-29. The Emoticons represent conditional values. Father, for example, has 4 Flames, to show his average martial; but his total Martial can reach anywhere from 2 Stars to 7 Stars depending on his mood and if he is in a fight or dealing with ice. A Super Common. Skips Emoticons meanwhile show that he has good Occult and Learning solely for Research, not application; while for our recruitables Johnny, Alexis, and Knightbrace all have good combat Martial, but poor non-combat Martial.
FATHER QUEST - A Cartoon Network: Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest Cross Over
- Thread starter HellaCooltricks
- Start date
- Pronouns
- He
Thank you for answering my question so concisely. It had really helped.
- Location
- Italian City
- Pronouns
- He/They/Name
Do we get the option to buy companies? Both major ones (Dethlokk, Endsville , etc.) And relatively minor ones (Cartoon Network, EA, etc.)
Buying out rival kings would not be viable unless you held a considerable advantage over them and even then, many kings are simply too independent minded to relinquish control voluntarily.
Adult Co. just started making money again after running in the yellow on autopilot for months. You are nowhere close to buying out Dethklok, the world's 7th largest economy.
Minor buyouts are possible and have already happened. You bought World Weekly News and Skips's little repair shop. However it has thus far been haphazard because Father is running his company haphazardly. If it were to become a structured option like in DQ it would entail a restructuring of the company to actually function as a corporation instead of Father's hobby.
Interlude: Taking All Callers
It had been a long day for Mandy.
Up until only an hour prior, she had been held hostage by the ever obnoxious press and the braindead public they represented. All this useless hand wringing over a couple of demons, and it was the humans who subjected her to an eternity of torment. Or at least that's how long the press conference had felt.
But now Mandy was finally free to get down to business. Fifty storeys down, precisely. Her newly installed Hellevator creaked and trundled its way deeper and deeper beneath her surface offices. Those were for show mostly. It was here in the infernal pit where Mandy truly made her fortune.
All in all, things had gone exactly to her expectations. Mandy was still in the stages of having to "sell" her demonic hires to the public. Eventually, they would get in line. They would have no choice. But for now things remained delicate enough that Mandy was forced to take their perspective into consideration.
She had chosen her two initial candidates with this in mind alongside her more long term plans. These first two hires were to be America's first taste of demonic leadership. The face of her campaign to integrate underworld expats into the power elite.
Many would have called her crazy to consider hiring former enemies for such a role. Mandy would have called them small minded. First of all if Mandy ruled out anybody she despised as potential underlings, she would hardly have any options left. Second: those she had already defeated would already know to fear her.
Velma Green and Cthulhu of R'lyeh had been momentary headaches in her past. Now they would be assets. Or they would be dead.
"Can't this thing go any faster?" Mandy asked at the elevator operator.
"Of course 'mon, but any faster and you'd end up as flat as a pancake when we hit da bottom. Now how long do I gotta wear dis stupid bellboy getup?"
Mandy rolled her eyes. Grim was fairly useless to her without his scythe, so she'd started making him earn his keep in a variety of demeaning menial roles. Still. He had his insightful moments. Grim was one of the few people willing to contradict her. That alone had value.
And he had given her an in with the Spider Queen.
She had been the obvious pick. Human in enough superficial ways to ease her human staff into comfortably taking orders from a monster. Velma Green had experience weaving social webs, building alliances and friendships to complement her ends. She'd even caught Grim in her snare. If not for a streak of crippling insecurity and a penchant for vindictiveness, she could have been the reaper in his place. Mandy could make both of those traits work for her.
She had found Velma stir crazy in her parents' empty castle. Their last encounter had left her with nothing to her name but a failed marriage and a disappointed father. She was so lonely that she had actually been glad to see the girl who'd foiled her invasion of Earth. Pathetic.
She had offered Velma a second chance to take over the world… for Mandy. Any reservations she might have had were wiped out by the promise she'd get to work with Grim again.
What Velma wanted more than anything was validation. And Mandy would provide it--conditional on her usefulness to the company.
Cthulhu had been even easier to convince, though much more difficult to contact. She'd gone through a number of phone repairmen before the Landline to R'lyeh stopped eating them.
He was right where she'd left him: trapped in the space between dimensions bouncing between dropped calls forever more. He had almost begged Mandy to let him serve her. And she had. After some extensive litigation of her terms.
They'd spoken through intern intermediaries, discarding them periodically as they fell prey to the corrupting influence of Cthulhu's voice. He wanted out. She wanted a communications specialist who could run calls between the surface and the underworld. In the end, they both got what they wanted, along with an infernal 401k package for Cthulhu in exchange for a contractual obligation to modulate the influence of his voice on Mandy's human employees.
They would still turn, but gradually. The resulting Shoggoth interns (Shoggothterns) would be rotated away to their underworld departments and nobody would know anything was amiss until it had been well and truly normalized.
Frogs in boiling water. The same way Mandy would transform the world entirely.
The Hellevator clanged to a halt. Its lattice gate slid open.
Grim and Mandy stepped out and were greeted by flanking rows of dark robed figures, ornate daggers at their sides and office-appropriate neckties encircling their necks.
"Well?" Mandy snapped.
The cultists bowed at once.
"Apologies, oh dark one. The ritual circle is prepared, and the sacrifices have been made. The channel is open."
Mandy didn't smile. She never smiled. But she was always pleased when things were on schedule.
- - - - - - - - - -
Green flames licked the ground and illuminated the void around Mandy with an emerald light. She was alone. She was always alone. Here, in every sense.
She could not permit anyone to see this. Partly out of semantic necessity, as the ritual she had prepared was one deeply personal. The other part was practical: if somebody witnessed the being she was communing with, even one of her sycophants, it would be a liability. And with two exceptions, Mandy had never tolerated liabilities.
But none of that mattered right now. Her black shoes clacked across the cold dead stone as she entered the ritual circle, walking counterclockwise in a spiral along the left hand path. She stopped in the exact center.
Mandy raised one hand. She began to speak in a language long forgotten. The sound echoed about the room at odd angles, reverberating in impossible ways as though each word were a living being blindly probing the darkened chamber. It was ancient and awful and horrible and it came perfectly naturally to her. It was like speaking a second language. Like French or Spanish.
In the eldritch tongue Mandy yielded unspoken truths, insecurities, dreams, aspirations, doubts, and secrets. Weaknesses. All of them. But if she wanted to commune with darkness she had to empty her blackened heart until it was hollow.
True to character it didn't take her long.
The room pulsed with green, sickly light. Unlit candles spontaneously burst into flickering unlife. Their wicks glowed brighter with each unholy passage: her words fanning the flames. She could *feel* it then - the first awakening of a great power. Maybe far more powerful than she had anticipated. But she was ready regardless.
As the final words slipped from her mouth, the ritual flames peaked - and then extinguished. Darkness once again swallowed up the chamber and Mandy along with it. She stood in silence.
A momented passed before Mandy grew bored.
"Well?" She said. "What are you waiting for?"
The candles reignited--green no longer, but an ordinary warmth. Something else had intercepted her invitation.
The circle's eldritch inscriptions were gone. Replaced by something Mandy couldn't read that looked more like wingdings than runes. Whatever it was, Mandy did not care, just so long as it held the hooded shape that had materialized within.
She scrutinized it, betraying no fear, but maybe an ounce of curiosity.
"You're not what I was expecting," Mandy told it.
The figure looked up. Mandy could tell it was smiling as a hand reached out of its cloak to cradle its shadowed chin.
"More like who."
The response irked Mandy.
"So you're not who I was trying to summon."
"Seems so."
"Alright."
Mandy began the banishing ritual.
"You gonna send me away without even chatting?"
"I don't like having my time wasted."
"And who's to say I'm gonna waste it? You wanted some help right?"
She paused and considered the intruder. She didn't believe it for a second. But there was her curiosity again. Leading her towards disappointment.
"Doesn't really matter, y'know. I'm sorta first in line for this sorta thing. I'll be back again even if you send me off."
"Start talking. Who are you?" Mandy commanded.
"Dang, you're kinda bossy aren'tcha?" said the creature, as it rotated upside-down, the folds of its robe drooping down over its head and muffling its voice.
"Goes with the territory. Now talk before I flush you straight to the Night-O-Sphere."
"Sheesh. Direct to the point, eh Mandy?"
Mandy hardly reacted to the entity knowing her name. If anything, it was a good sign this thing might know something of value after all.
"A little birdy told me you wanted the down-low and deets on what all those wacky weirdos are getting up to around in the good ol' U.S of A. Am I right?"
"I-"
"Am I right Am I right Am I right-"
"Fine. Yes. Now get to the point," Mandy said, her brow frumpled in annoyance.
"Ha, knew it. Well, good thing you ran into little ol' me." It pulled out a small clipboard. "I happen to keep tabs on all kinds of people. It's part of the job description. Now lets see… Susa-"
"Hold up," Mandy held up her palm. "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm not about to let you rope me into some crummy deal."
"Deal? What deal?" the hood turned left - and then kept turning left until it found its way back all the way around to where it started. "I don't see any deals."
"The deal you're obviously trying to trick me into accepting."
"Really? We just met and you're already making assumptions. No wonder you have a hard time making friends."
"I'm getting tired of you dancing around my questions," Mandy said. "Tell me what you want."
"What I want? Well lets see.. World peace, a propane barbeque, a dinner sandwich, my old keytaur, unlimited ice cream (preferably the fourth flavor), a daemonic wishing pouch, free Dethklok tickets (love those guys!), the Enchiridion, a complete P.O.W. card collection, the Master Control Nanite, a Thrice-Blessed blade of pure good, every shen-gong-wu (signed and in original packaging), another season of Total Drama Island, a brand new windshield wiper for my-"
"What do you want from me. Deals work both ways."
"Oooh! Duh!" The creature said, as it slapped a cloaked hand against its hidden forehead. "Well, let's see - what could I possibly need in return from the world's most powerful (and meanest) 12-year-old girl. Hmmmmmmmmmmm."
Mandy waited. She hated waiting.
"Nothing."
Mandy blinked. That had caught her off guard.
"Nothing?"
"Nadda."
Surprise faded into anger as Mandy once again hit a brick wall. Whatever this spirit was, she knew one thing for certain: It was getting on her nerves.
"If you don't want anything from me, then get out of my way."
"And let you talk to that fuddy-duddy? Nah, I'm doing you a favor. That guy is a real low-life no-life."
"So." Mandy said, as she raised an eyebrow in order to punctuate the point, "If I don't let you help me you're going to continue standing here, blocking my summoning circle and wasting my time? I wouldn't advise that."
"Block your way? Hm. Maybe! But waste your time?" The cloaked figure floated down on its front to reach eye level with Mandy. "My dear, nothing I do is a waste of time."
It drifted back up, before pulling a small scroll from the middle of its cloak.
"Lemme put it this way. I'm kind of a busy guy in a tight spot. I don't exactly like where I'm living, and the world has gone a little coo-coo for my tastes. Like, since when did reason go out of season, am I right?"
Mandy didn't say anything. But she listened on, intrigued.
"Plus, lotta weirdos these days doing things. Y'know, color coded rock women, shadow wearing manchildren, evil geniuses, dictators. Heck, they tossed in some weirdos from the after-hours shows. Not to mention the guys who aren't even usually ON this channel!"
"So you want to use me to get rid of your rivals?"
"Ehhhh, I wouldn't call them my rivals. I consider them wayward children. But you could say that, sure. Either way. You need my help."
"I don't want help."
"Did I say 'want'?"
Mandy frowned.
"Anywho, since you're such a fan of deals, I suppose I could play along. I'll share some words of wisdom to point you in the right direction. In exchange, I guess, you could let me hitch a ride through those big old holes in the ground."
"And why exactly would you need to access my hellmouth generators?" Mandy asked it.
"Let's just say my usual set of wheels has been hijacked and I've got a lot of loose ends on earth I need to check in on."
"And how can I be certain that this information is accurate?"
"Well, I'm not usually supposed to give out this sorta thing. But okie-dokie!"
It flipped a fat manilla envelope at her like a playing card. It flopped to Mandy's feet, a yellowed official looking slip of paper spilling from the mouth flap. She gave it an incredulous look before picking it up and inspecting it.
"Hm. Interesting. I didn't expect him to be so old."
"Tell me about it. I don't even think he remembers how old he is."
Mandy turned the paper over, scrutinizing it for any sign of inauthenticity.
"And he's not even American either." She looked up. "I'm still going to have this analyzed."
"Understandable. There's another thing."
"What."
"Call it a freebie. Unsolicited advice. It's not something I can put in a folder."
Mandy watched the creature wordlessly.
"You're not gonna pull it off without a friend."
She narrowed her eyes. "I'm not stupid enough to think I don't need allies. I already have an arrangement with PumaDyne."
"Not what I meant kiddo. You should get out more. Get some hobbies. Go to a concert or something and introduce yourself. You might be surprised how much you have in common."
She fixed it with a cold expression of near-pity. "Maybe you don't know as much about me as you thought."
It shrugged it's cloaked shoulders. "Worth a try."
"Can I reach you again through this channel?"
"You betcha."
"Well the-"
"Wait. One more thing."
Mandy paused, then looked up.
"That first guy… Mandy, I know you a bit better than you think. I know what you're planning. Really crazy stuff. But even for that, you don't want to get mixed up with him. Okay?"
She turned away.
"I'll make that decision for myself."
The candles snuffed themselves out as Mandy walked away.
- - - - - - - - - -
In the following weeks, Endsville Energy Solutions launched a veritable avalanche of reforms, adjustments and strategy changes, all of which proved successful. True to the being's words, the sampler of information had proven valuable and accurate, if perhaps incomplete. Despite the risk, Mandy decided to risk reaching out to it again.
This time, when she performed the ritual, the candles never once glowed green.
"See? Told ya. Helpful."
"You were correct."
"I usually am."
"I don't like your attitude. However," Mandy said, as she neatly produced a rather hefty folder. "I did find your services… acceptable."
"Well, gee wiz, you sure know how to flatter an otherworldly entity trapped within a parallel plane of existence."
"This is a contract I have prepared with the assistance of several demonic lawyers, bound on the flesh of an innocent man, blessed by a priest, poured over by the judges of limbo themselves and sealed with the blessing of death itself."
"Dang, lotta work for an affidavit."
"This will grant you the use of any of my infernal energy generators as a conduit to project an unobtrusive avatar within the confines of the immediate area. You'll be nowhere near your full power when you use it. My warlocks have made sure of that."
The entity took the paper and flipped out a small set of reading glasses, which it placed over its invisible eyes. It spent a considerable amount of time reading.
"Mhm. Yep. Mhm. Yep. By the books I see," It said, asking a few questions here and there - what days it was allowed to use it, if holidays counted, how far exactly how many 1,000 cubits were, and other questions before finally closing the folder.
"Well, I mostly looked at the pictures but I think this is acceptable."
"Good."
"You do realize… This is insider trading correct?"
"No, this is simply purchasing an advantage. I also had my legal team look this over, and this technically doesn't count."
"Technically is the best kind of correct, so they say. Besides, they changed the name anyways."
"Last time you said you knew what I was planning. You don't have any issues with that, do you?"
"Well, considering my own position, investments, and views on religion, nope I don't think so."
"Good. Then we have a deal."
"You got that right."
With that, Mandy offered her hand. Despite all its knowledge, the creature shuddered as it reached its hand out. It did not feel natural, nor good to make a deal with this child. But it did so all the same.
"Perfect."
"Don't make it sound so ominous!"
Up until only an hour prior, she had been held hostage by the ever obnoxious press and the braindead public they represented. All this useless hand wringing over a couple of demons, and it was the humans who subjected her to an eternity of torment. Or at least that's how long the press conference had felt.
But now Mandy was finally free to get down to business. Fifty storeys down, precisely. Her newly installed Hellevator creaked and trundled its way deeper and deeper beneath her surface offices. Those were for show mostly. It was here in the infernal pit where Mandy truly made her fortune.
All in all, things had gone exactly to her expectations. Mandy was still in the stages of having to "sell" her demonic hires to the public. Eventually, they would get in line. They would have no choice. But for now things remained delicate enough that Mandy was forced to take their perspective into consideration.
She had chosen her two initial candidates with this in mind alongside her more long term plans. These first two hires were to be America's first taste of demonic leadership. The face of her campaign to integrate underworld expats into the power elite.
Many would have called her crazy to consider hiring former enemies for such a role. Mandy would have called them small minded. First of all if Mandy ruled out anybody she despised as potential underlings, she would hardly have any options left. Second: those she had already defeated would already know to fear her.
Velma Green and Cthulhu of R'lyeh had been momentary headaches in her past. Now they would be assets. Or they would be dead.
"Can't this thing go any faster?" Mandy asked at the elevator operator.
"Of course 'mon, but any faster and you'd end up as flat as a pancake when we hit da bottom. Now how long do I gotta wear dis stupid bellboy getup?"
Mandy rolled her eyes. Grim was fairly useless to her without his scythe, so she'd started making him earn his keep in a variety of demeaning menial roles. Still. He had his insightful moments. Grim was one of the few people willing to contradict her. That alone had value.
And he had given her an in with the Spider Queen.
She had been the obvious pick. Human in enough superficial ways to ease her human staff into comfortably taking orders from a monster. Velma Green had experience weaving social webs, building alliances and friendships to complement her ends. She'd even caught Grim in her snare. If not for a streak of crippling insecurity and a penchant for vindictiveness, she could have been the reaper in his place. Mandy could make both of those traits work for her.
She had found Velma stir crazy in her parents' empty castle. Their last encounter had left her with nothing to her name but a failed marriage and a disappointed father. She was so lonely that she had actually been glad to see the girl who'd foiled her invasion of Earth. Pathetic.
She had offered Velma a second chance to take over the world… for Mandy. Any reservations she might have had were wiped out by the promise she'd get to work with Grim again.
What Velma wanted more than anything was validation. And Mandy would provide it--conditional on her usefulness to the company.
Cthulhu had been even easier to convince, though much more difficult to contact. She'd gone through a number of phone repairmen before the Landline to R'lyeh stopped eating them.
He was right where she'd left him: trapped in the space between dimensions bouncing between dropped calls forever more. He had almost begged Mandy to let him serve her. And she had. After some extensive litigation of her terms.
They'd spoken through intern intermediaries, discarding them periodically as they fell prey to the corrupting influence of Cthulhu's voice. He wanted out. She wanted a communications specialist who could run calls between the surface and the underworld. In the end, they both got what they wanted, along with an infernal 401k package for Cthulhu in exchange for a contractual obligation to modulate the influence of his voice on Mandy's human employees.
They would still turn, but gradually. The resulting Shoggoth interns (Shoggothterns) would be rotated away to their underworld departments and nobody would know anything was amiss until it had been well and truly normalized.
Frogs in boiling water. The same way Mandy would transform the world entirely.
The Hellevator clanged to a halt. Its lattice gate slid open.
Grim and Mandy stepped out and were greeted by flanking rows of dark robed figures, ornate daggers at their sides and office-appropriate neckties encircling their necks.
"Well?" Mandy snapped.
The cultists bowed at once.
"Apologies, oh dark one. The ritual circle is prepared, and the sacrifices have been made. The channel is open."
Mandy didn't smile. She never smiled. But she was always pleased when things were on schedule.
- - - - - - - - - -
Green flames licked the ground and illuminated the void around Mandy with an emerald light. She was alone. She was always alone. Here, in every sense.
She could not permit anyone to see this. Partly out of semantic necessity, as the ritual she had prepared was one deeply personal. The other part was practical: if somebody witnessed the being she was communing with, even one of her sycophants, it would be a liability. And with two exceptions, Mandy had never tolerated liabilities.
But none of that mattered right now. Her black shoes clacked across the cold dead stone as she entered the ritual circle, walking counterclockwise in a spiral along the left hand path. She stopped in the exact center.
Mandy raised one hand. She began to speak in a language long forgotten. The sound echoed about the room at odd angles, reverberating in impossible ways as though each word were a living being blindly probing the darkened chamber. It was ancient and awful and horrible and it came perfectly naturally to her. It was like speaking a second language. Like French or Spanish.
In the eldritch tongue Mandy yielded unspoken truths, insecurities, dreams, aspirations, doubts, and secrets. Weaknesses. All of them. But if she wanted to commune with darkness she had to empty her blackened heart until it was hollow.
True to character it didn't take her long.
The room pulsed with green, sickly light. Unlit candles spontaneously burst into flickering unlife. Their wicks glowed brighter with each unholy passage: her words fanning the flames. She could *feel* it then - the first awakening of a great power. Maybe far more powerful than she had anticipated. But she was ready regardless.
As the final words slipped from her mouth, the ritual flames peaked - and then extinguished. Darkness once again swallowed up the chamber and Mandy along with it. She stood in silence.
A momented passed before Mandy grew bored.
"Well?" She said. "What are you waiting for?"
The candles reignited--green no longer, but an ordinary warmth. Something else had intercepted her invitation.
The circle's eldritch inscriptions were gone. Replaced by something Mandy couldn't read that looked more like wingdings than runes. Whatever it was, Mandy did not care, just so long as it held the hooded shape that had materialized within.
She scrutinized it, betraying no fear, but maybe an ounce of curiosity.
"You're not what I was expecting," Mandy told it.
The figure looked up. Mandy could tell it was smiling as a hand reached out of its cloak to cradle its shadowed chin.
"More like who."
The response irked Mandy.
"So you're not who I was trying to summon."
"Seems so."
"Alright."
Mandy began the banishing ritual.
"You gonna send me away without even chatting?"
"I don't like having my time wasted."
"And who's to say I'm gonna waste it? You wanted some help right?"
She paused and considered the intruder. She didn't believe it for a second. But there was her curiosity again. Leading her towards disappointment.
"Doesn't really matter, y'know. I'm sorta first in line for this sorta thing. I'll be back again even if you send me off."
"Start talking. Who are you?" Mandy commanded.
"Dang, you're kinda bossy aren'tcha?" said the creature, as it rotated upside-down, the folds of its robe drooping down over its head and muffling its voice.
"Goes with the territory. Now talk before I flush you straight to the Night-O-Sphere."
"Sheesh. Direct to the point, eh Mandy?"
Mandy hardly reacted to the entity knowing her name. If anything, it was a good sign this thing might know something of value after all.
"A little birdy told me you wanted the down-low and deets on what all those wacky weirdos are getting up to around in the good ol' U.S of A. Am I right?"
"I-"
"Am I right Am I right Am I right-"
"Fine. Yes. Now get to the point," Mandy said, her brow frumpled in annoyance.
"Ha, knew it. Well, good thing you ran into little ol' me." It pulled out a small clipboard. "I happen to keep tabs on all kinds of people. It's part of the job description. Now lets see… Susa-"
"Hold up," Mandy held up her palm. "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm not about to let you rope me into some crummy deal."
"Deal? What deal?" the hood turned left - and then kept turning left until it found its way back all the way around to where it started. "I don't see any deals."
"The deal you're obviously trying to trick me into accepting."
"Really? We just met and you're already making assumptions. No wonder you have a hard time making friends."
"I'm getting tired of you dancing around my questions," Mandy said. "Tell me what you want."
"What I want? Well lets see.. World peace, a propane barbeque, a dinner sandwich, my old keytaur, unlimited ice cream (preferably the fourth flavor), a daemonic wishing pouch, free Dethklok tickets (love those guys!), the Enchiridion, a complete P.O.W. card collection, the Master Control Nanite, a Thrice-Blessed blade of pure good, every shen-gong-wu (signed and in original packaging), another season of Total Drama Island, a brand new windshield wiper for my-"
"What do you want from me. Deals work both ways."
"Oooh! Duh!" The creature said, as it slapped a cloaked hand against its hidden forehead. "Well, let's see - what could I possibly need in return from the world's most powerful (and meanest) 12-year-old girl. Hmmmmmmmmmmm."
Mandy waited. She hated waiting.
"Nothing."
Mandy blinked. That had caught her off guard.
"Nothing?"
"Nadda."
Surprise faded into anger as Mandy once again hit a brick wall. Whatever this spirit was, she knew one thing for certain: It was getting on her nerves.
"If you don't want anything from me, then get out of my way."
"And let you talk to that fuddy-duddy? Nah, I'm doing you a favor. That guy is a real low-life no-life."
"So." Mandy said, as she raised an eyebrow in order to punctuate the point, "If I don't let you help me you're going to continue standing here, blocking my summoning circle and wasting my time? I wouldn't advise that."
"Block your way? Hm. Maybe! But waste your time?" The cloaked figure floated down on its front to reach eye level with Mandy. "My dear, nothing I do is a waste of time."
It drifted back up, before pulling a small scroll from the middle of its cloak.
"Lemme put it this way. I'm kind of a busy guy in a tight spot. I don't exactly like where I'm living, and the world has gone a little coo-coo for my tastes. Like, since when did reason go out of season, am I right?"
Mandy didn't say anything. But she listened on, intrigued.
"Plus, lotta weirdos these days doing things. Y'know, color coded rock women, shadow wearing manchildren, evil geniuses, dictators. Heck, they tossed in some weirdos from the after-hours shows. Not to mention the guys who aren't even usually ON this channel!"
"So you want to use me to get rid of your rivals?"
"Ehhhh, I wouldn't call them my rivals. I consider them wayward children. But you could say that, sure. Either way. You need my help."
"I don't want help."
"Did I say 'want'?"
Mandy frowned.
"Anywho, since you're such a fan of deals, I suppose I could play along. I'll share some words of wisdom to point you in the right direction. In exchange, I guess, you could let me hitch a ride through those big old holes in the ground."
"And why exactly would you need to access my hellmouth generators?" Mandy asked it.
"Let's just say my usual set of wheels has been hijacked and I've got a lot of loose ends on earth I need to check in on."
"And how can I be certain that this information is accurate?"
"Well, I'm not usually supposed to give out this sorta thing. But okie-dokie!"
It flipped a fat manilla envelope at her like a playing card. It flopped to Mandy's feet, a yellowed official looking slip of paper spilling from the mouth flap. She gave it an incredulous look before picking it up and inspecting it.
"Hm. Interesting. I didn't expect him to be so old."
"Tell me about it. I don't even think he remembers how old he is."
Mandy turned the paper over, scrutinizing it for any sign of inauthenticity.
"And he's not even American either." She looked up. "I'm still going to have this analyzed."
"Understandable. There's another thing."
"What."
"Call it a freebie. Unsolicited advice. It's not something I can put in a folder."
Mandy watched the creature wordlessly.
"You're not gonna pull it off without a friend."
She narrowed her eyes. "I'm not stupid enough to think I don't need allies. I already have an arrangement with PumaDyne."
"Not what I meant kiddo. You should get out more. Get some hobbies. Go to a concert or something and introduce yourself. You might be surprised how much you have in common."
She fixed it with a cold expression of near-pity. "Maybe you don't know as much about me as you thought."
It shrugged it's cloaked shoulders. "Worth a try."
"Can I reach you again through this channel?"
"You betcha."
"Well the-"
"Wait. One more thing."
Mandy paused, then looked up.
"That first guy… Mandy, I know you a bit better than you think. I know what you're planning. Really crazy stuff. But even for that, you don't want to get mixed up with him. Okay?"
She turned away.
"I'll make that decision for myself."
The candles snuffed themselves out as Mandy walked away.
- - - - - - - - - -
In the following weeks, Endsville Energy Solutions launched a veritable avalanche of reforms, adjustments and strategy changes, all of which proved successful. True to the being's words, the sampler of information had proven valuable and accurate, if perhaps incomplete. Despite the risk, Mandy decided to risk reaching out to it again.
This time, when she performed the ritual, the candles never once glowed green.
"See? Told ya. Helpful."
"You were correct."
"I usually am."
"I don't like your attitude. However," Mandy said, as she neatly produced a rather hefty folder. "I did find your services… acceptable."
"Well, gee wiz, you sure know how to flatter an otherworldly entity trapped within a parallel plane of existence."
"This is a contract I have prepared with the assistance of several demonic lawyers, bound on the flesh of an innocent man, blessed by a priest, poured over by the judges of limbo themselves and sealed with the blessing of death itself."
"Dang, lotta work for an affidavit."
"This will grant you the use of any of my infernal energy generators as a conduit to project an unobtrusive avatar within the confines of the immediate area. You'll be nowhere near your full power when you use it. My warlocks have made sure of that."
The entity took the paper and flipped out a small set of reading glasses, which it placed over its invisible eyes. It spent a considerable amount of time reading.
"Mhm. Yep. Mhm. Yep. By the books I see," It said, asking a few questions here and there - what days it was allowed to use it, if holidays counted, how far exactly how many 1,000 cubits were, and other questions before finally closing the folder.
"Well, I mostly looked at the pictures but I think this is acceptable."
"Good."
"You do realize… This is insider trading correct?"
"No, this is simply purchasing an advantage. I also had my legal team look this over, and this technically doesn't count."
"Technically is the best kind of correct, so they say. Besides, they changed the name anyways."
"Last time you said you knew what I was planning. You don't have any issues with that, do you?"
"Well, considering my own position, investments, and views on religion, nope I don't think so."
"Good. Then we have a deal."
"You got that right."
With that, Mandy offered her hand. Despite all its knowledge, the creature shuddered as it reached its hand out. It did not feel natural, nor good to make a deal with this child. But it did so all the same.
"Perfect."
"Don't make it sound so ominous!"
- Location
- Southbend indiana
The folder is about us isn't it? We're older than she thought and father is from the UK
Then who was the file about then and who is the entity that mandy summoned, can we at least know what show they are from?
yeah okay they appeared in Villainous
While my first thought was Black Hat, what you said makes me wonder if its someone else, like a cameo character.
Grandfather was my second thought, but that would be a very, very technical character since he was just a picture tmk.
KnownParadox
Not a sphere
- Location
- Canada
Whoever the man is it's surprising that he isn't American, so he's probably in America so that rules out Black Hat.
Asmodemus
Subversive Element
It'd be funny if it was Major Glory. Last one anyone would expect to be non-American.
- Location
- USA
Well. Mandy has just ticked herself NOTICEABLY upward on my 'threats to the planet' list.
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I have no idea who this spirit could be. But it's apparently aware that this world is a bunch of tv shows rammed together, so that's a little spooky.
Travler66
Let her name echo in song!
- Location
- Beyond
Thank you for the update @HellaCooltricks!
It seems Mandy's intel game is beyond any of the other Kings in the US. We gotta up our game.
It seems Mandy's intel game is beyond any of the other Kings in the US. We gotta up our game.
- Location
- Pittsburgh, PA
I never watched past the Lich's first appearance, but... from what I remember, the Lich is semi-literally the shadow cast by the fires which burned the Earth in the Mushroom Wars. Its goals are nebulous, but predominantly center around war and destruction; if it has any ambitions beyond annihilation, then they seemingly have "raze the current universe" as part of the necessary groundwork to pursue them.
Ohmaigah
Man be Vibin
- Location
- Ask Carmen Sandiego or Waldo
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Yeah so like, right up Mandy's alley. Luckily her new best buddy ??? Stepped in and said "hey. Quest just started, don't do that
"
- Location
- United Kigdom
Well, that was certainly unexpected; not sure where it's heading but I'm curious to see
