FATHER QUEST - A Cartoon Network: Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest Cross Over

[HellaCooltricks]

TURN 2 - RIVAL REPORTS


Black Hat Organization

[ ] Acquire Youth Camps
Success

Black Hat's latest acquisition was rather bizarre, this time focusing on youth camps across the USA. The biggest purchase was by and large the Bean Scouts of America, but the Urban Rangers and Forest Scouts were also sweeped up in the massive purchase of just about every organization that was willing to be bought, or in some cases, were the subject of a less-than-amicable buyout. Black Hat has placed Scout Master Supreme Lumpus as the new Black Hat Youth program's director, stating he was "the ideal example of a scout."

[ ] Begin Product Distribution
Failure

With England under his thumb, Black Hat has begun production of his catalogs. Or so he claims. At the time being, it's been rather hard to find one, and even more difficult to receive a shipment in the US. You figure that due to the production being shifted to England, anything over-seas has been waylaid.


Endsville Energy Solutions

[ ] Open New Underworld Energy Plant
Success

Mandy has been ruthless in her industrialization of the energy sector, quickly going beyond the nuclear reactors that Endsville is famous for. These Underworld reactors are reliable sources of energy, though what exactly they're burning remains a trade secret. Once properly integrated, these will provide for the entire state of Texas with electricity. The construction and maintenance of these structures, however, are kept under numerous degrees of secrecy.

[ ] Pursue Government Contracts
Success

Perhaps inspired by your recent actions, or brought about by her own desire to take over a pre-existing system, Mandy begins to pursue a number of contracts for both military and energy sectors opened by the US government. The US, however, seems a touch reluctant to allow her to sweep up that many positions in one go. A few of her propositions have been rejected.

[ ] Improve Daemonic Integration
Success

In the meanwhile, the Demonic Rights Act has already passed through the house and is on its way to the senate. The bill is being propped up by a number of Demon-Rights activists, with Mandy going out and even speaking in favor of it. Despite her cold, ominous tone, her points and logic have a harrowingly effective impact.


Gem Homeworld Colony

[ ] Prepare Defenses
Success

The recent counterattack by US-aligned forces have halted the Gem advance and caused them to retreat. The volunteers aid the American army in breaking the siege around Toronto. However, the further north the army presses, the more desolate and punishing the environment has become. Even worse, the Gems have begun to shore up their defenses and undertake drastic measures to prevent further loss of territory. Fortified cities and outposts have been replaced with strongholds made of impossibly strong crystals. Reports of massive versions of Gems crushing tank columns and other, more esoteric attacks have begun to come in.

[ ] Innovate Technologies
Failure

From the new wheeled artillery being manned by the ruby and quartz soldiers, one gets the impression that the leaders of the Gem army are trying to diversify their arsenal. Unfortunately, these recycled starship cannons have more knockback than even the super tough gems can handle, causing them to roll all over the battlefield. The Gems have also started integrating weapons and equipment pillaged from Canadian army stockpiles into their tactics, but to mixed effect. Leaked drone footage has spotted rubies trying and failing to use grenades as intended.

"Did anyone drop this?" one of the rubies asked their fellow ruby, a pinless grenade in hand.

"Oh, I was looking for that!" the other ruby shouts above active gunfire. "Did you find the--"

The resulting explosion disperses their physical forms and the drone camera goes black.


The Guild of Calamitous Intent

[ ] Formalize Henchmen Recruitment
Success

Normally, you wouldn't pay much attention to henchmen. They were often inconsequential and relatively useless, but you have noticed that there seems to be an uptick in the number of henchmen recruitment sites across your territory. Signing up people to serve under a costume villain seemed rather strange, and more than a few henchmen signup centers were busted by the cops, but there was something to be said for how effective they were.


Katz Ventures

[ ] Release New Food Products
Success

Katz Ventures is at it again, pumping out even more food products, this time even faster than before. And beyond that, people can't seem to get enough! Katz, the owner of Katz Ventures, has made it clear that his intention is to provide the people of America with high-quality food. You suppose the Midwest could do that, but you're not quite sure how Katz is doing it.

[ ] Enhance Vacation Fleet
Success

The Katz Venture Vacation Fleet continues to grow, however small. It seems that the cat has some sort of greater plan in mind, but what it is, you're not quite sure. You do figure out that he has stretched out his budget as far as he can, as he isn't able to purchase any more submarines, blimps, cruise lines or road-side inns.


Mandark Co.

[ ] Increase Production of Robots
Success

Mandark has made it a priority to revamp and reconstruct his business to produce a line of high-quality, warbots. In a surprising turn of events, Mandark even donated an entire company's worth of them to the US war effort. While out of character, you can only wonder why he decided to be so generous.

[ ] ???
???

Reports get back to you as more and more young people of talent seem to be vanishing. One particularly loud exception, however, seems to be a young man by the name of Jack Spicer, who loudly complained to the media about how he was getting passed over by whoever this mysterious assailant was. Sure enough, he vanished the next day….

The day after that, he was found again. Jack Spicer was now complaining about being rejected over embellishments on his resume.


Scam Co.

[ ] Continue Talent Courting
Success

After learning about Mr. Bossman, you've decided to keep a bigger eye on this 'Eddy' and his antics. It doesn't take long for you to realize that the little runt is looking for anybody he can get his grubby little paws on. You find out he's looking for talent quite quickly, as he seems to be approaching just about everyone he knows, or even learns of. While this has resulted in more than a few rejections, he's also been able to pick up the scraps other people left behind.

[ ] Create Jawbreaker Coin
Success

Just yesterday, young entrepreneur Eddy Eddington announced a new and revolutionary form of currency that he claims better fits the modern-day market. He's calling it Jawbreakers. This candy currency, designed and candied by Eddy's own crypto-confectionery servers, is a mixture of real-life candy and online currency. While you have no idea how it exactly works, the new currency seems to be taking off, and has already created a lucrative speculation market on all the different flavors and their worth.


U.S. Government

[ ] Fund Projects
(98)

While you are not exactly sure, your liaisons in the government have given you some forewarning that large projects are now being funded. Projects that the US has explicitly said will 'win the war' with the gems. While details have been hard pressed to get out of them, they have given you a name for one of them: Project H.M.E.R. is nearing completion and will be ready for field testing quite soon.

[ ] Increase Stability
(76)

With the success on the warfront, the US has been given a chance to turn back to the public. They have taken the time to reassure the people that the Government is still there, and still working to serve them to the best of its ability. Even as more news comes out about the state of the world, there is a sense that the US is doing far, far better than most other countries.

[ ] Prepare for Elections
(37)

Informing the public about the candidates running for president has been difficult. Talks with Chris and Moltar have been falling through due to not being very 'exciting' for their programming, and to show it regardless of that would take a bit more expenses than most candidates are willing to spend. Campaigning has been limited to their local area for now, with hopes of sending their rhetoric by newspaper or radio being a last resort.

[ ] Continue Negotiations with Providence
(46)

Negotiations with the global peace-keeping organization known as Providence have been tense and slow, with Providence remaining uncompromising on their need for additional funding ever since they increased their umbrella of aid to cover not only EVOs, but also aliens, cryptids, and other-wordly threats. However, rumors suggest a breakthrough might be on the horizon.

 

[DaOneInDaCorner]

Preparing for the Future
​

Princess Morbucks was one of the richest people in the world. No, that's not hyperbole. Standing in a mansion that was as gaudy and audacious as it was impressive, she was the daughter of one of the absolute richest oil tycoons; Mr. Morbucks, someone with the power and connections to have a suit of power armor that could make one capable of fighting on equal level with a Powerpuff Girl. And since the displacement of power, he'd also gained ownership of the city of Townsville, having been elected mayor.


Where one may expect a man in his position to have been dethroned and left destitute by the recent overhaul in energy and fuel source provided by the Queen of Endsville, Mandy, Mr. Morbucks had kept up with the times that only a man with an innate sense of finances could have managed. He'd helped shift the transfer of power in the favor of the girl who claimed to hold ownership of the Grim Reaper - it had left him in a very comfy position as a financial assistant for the ruler of the Underworld to gain a monopoly on the market only she could provide, and to where Morbucks could benefit.


Princess was, thereby, furious.


"Daddy!" The ginger girl screamed with a pitch that had the glass panels of her fathers study shaking - he winced in turn, gray and well trimmed mustache twitching slightly at the sound of his daughter. He held in a sigh, instead swiveling in his chair to face his red faced daughter, the man holding a glass of water in one hand, comfy in his plush chair and dressed in a luscious robe.


"Yes, Princess?"


Princess was shaking - quite literally shaking. Her body quaked with livid fury, fists clenched and her eyes almost bloodshot; her hair was a mess, and this early in the morning, her father could assess quite easily that his daughter had just woken up.


A newspaper was thrown directly in the face, with all the strength that the thin arms of the teenager could send at him. Letting it drop, the man glanced down, raising his eyebrows at the headline.


'THIS JUST IN! Mayor of Townsville and known holder to the Morbucks Fortune has aligned with the Queen of the Underworld? The richest man on EARTH bows down to a teenage girl!'


He turned back to his daughter, leaning back in his chair and this time allowing himself to let out a very tired breath.


"I see you've heard the news," he noted idly, chewing at the inside of his cheek, readying himself for the headache of the day to come.


"Y-you're not even going to deny it?" His Princess squawked, stomping down a foot. "It says there that you're just… giving away MY money to this weird wannabe Queen of Endsville!"


Princess' father gave his daughter a very long look, face scrunching up, the normally uncaring and uneasily bothered heavyset member of high society for once looking properly annoyed. It had his daughter taking a single step back, as her father carefully placed his hands along the arms of his chair, rising slowly to a full height of six feet.


"Sweetie," he began carefully, sternly. "This is my money. My fortune. And there is no doubt in my mind that we would be homeless and on the streets soon enough if I didn't throw my eggs into the basket being held by that little girl playing Queen. She has the means to destroy everything I have created, and what could I do? I have my hands in many different pockets - but do you know what makes up the main source of our finances, Princess?" His daughter was silent, looking utterly blank, having never once taken a look into the family business.


"Oil." He said simply. "We have oil. A fuel source that has recently been invalidated, and will soon be going out of style - I'm not going to be the next Blockbuster," he paused at the blank look that word gets from his daughter, before sighing. "I won't be the next Yahoo?" Another blank. "MySpace…?" He tries.


"Daddy, you're just making up words now."


"... right. Honey, my little Princess," he says, putting a hand on his pride and joy's shoulder. "The base foundation beneath our money, has crumbled. And we need a new one - I'm riding the wave while I still can, before it carries us under."


His daughter seemed to understand that much, grumbling slightly despite the logic.


"But that means we're," she swallowed, looking as if she was choking on dog food, "working for someone else. Daddy, I can't be the help to someone else!"


Her father shook his head, finally having sparked some amusement from the man now that his daughter was grasping the severity of their predicament.


"It won't be forever," he offered his daughter, "Morbucks always come out on top - we're going to wait though, bide our time and make sure things are stable before anything else. Then, I'll see what I can do."


Princess eventually nodded, seeming to deliberate on something.


"Okay, but I want a new horse. The last eight haven't listened to anything I say!"


Her father rolled his eyes with a smile.


"Of course Princess."


—-------------


Out on the Coast of Townsville


A flash of red light erupted through the skull of a giant sea monster, a green cyclops with gills that stood over forty feet tall. It screamed, blood flying forth from it's eye as the floating form of a teenage boy looked down distastefully at the creature.


"You're going through my territory," Brick informed the monster derisively. It roared back with flames spewing from its mouth. Without needing to apply much effort at all, the superhuman simply avoided the blast.


"I'm actually trying to find things I like doing," Brick noted to the creature, dodging a few swipes idly, Brick continued speaking, "and I'll tell you that photography has been absolutely shit. Crochet was fun for a while, but it's super girly. Football isn't fun if people erupt into blood and guts when you tap them. I'm ready to see if monster hunting is my type of thing now - I'd recommend you not be my test."


That actually seemed to spook the 'mindless' being, hesitating before meeting the teenager with another roar.


Eyebeams erupted across the skull of the being, ending its life in an instant as it pierced through its brain, the enormous beast stunned still, before falling limply back into the sea, floating away as blood drifted from the open wounds across its body.


Floating a few moments longer, Brick sighed.


"Nah, this sucks ass too."


"You didn't like photography then?"


Brick shook his head, stretching out his shoulders a bit. Boomer floated not far behind him, head cocked curiously.


"Wasn't interesting. Broke the camera too." From his pocket, Brick pulled out was once an older model polaroid camera, tossing the bits and scraps remaining to his sibling.


"Dammit Brick, I don't have many of these left!" Boomer bemoaned, carefully going over the remains, before groaning and letting it drop to the sea. Shaking his head, the teen struggled not to grumble. "Maybe drawing?"


Brick considered before shaking his head, "I stopped at finger painting." He left it there, as though that was enough explanation. Honestly, it probably was.


"... Have you tried getting therapy?"


Boomer nursed the sudden bruise forming on his cheek from the sucker punch he'd received in the same instance that he'd finished his sentence.


"Dick," he muttered, while Brick simply gave a stern glare.


"I've tried lots of shit at this point - it isn't working. I want someone to punch me, someone to give me a good figh-" Brick caught a punch from his brother, ignoring it promptly as he continued unheeded, "-t. Fucking giant monsters can't even bruise me, you and Butch never act serious enough. It's bullshit, it's fucking boring!" He ended with a shout, throwing his hands up in frustration.


Boomer was quiet for a moment, simply rubbing at the bump on his cheek.


"Do you think you just… Need a new Powerpuff Girl?"


Brick didn't respond, silent as he considered the insight from the most emotionally intuitive of the three siblings.


"I don't need a dumb girl to keep me from getting bored," he argued eventually, even though the argument fell rather flat despite himself. "Besides, the three of them are pretty dead. Hard to come back from that." Boomer nodded at that, turning his head slightly, consideringly.


"... we used to be dead."


Brick froze, before locking his eyes with his blond haired brother.


"Dad would never go for it. He hated those girls, and not in the, "beat them up for being annoying gross girls," type way. He wanted e'm dead."


Boomer shrugged, giving a sort of smirk.


"Who said we'd tell dad?"


The two held the silence, before Brick eventually let out a long and drawn out sigh, one that spoke of admitted defeat.


"We're either grounded or dead."


"Eh, dad likes me more anyways. I'd say my odds of surviving are pretty good."

 

[ilbgar123]

Two Fallen Heroes​

Prince Topaz sighed as he observed one of the rebel camps, where the frog people were doing some basic drills. They'd be no match for any serious spellwork or monsters one on one, nevermind Dark Opal himself, but they had a number advantage, and they were working on leveraging it. He'd actually felt a spark of hope when Princess Amethyst had shown up. She'd beaten him in a swordfight, so she actually had a chance of doing the same against Dark Opal, and she'd been kind despite his failure and tendency to literally fall to pieces, being a skeleton animated by his soul and magic as much as anything else. Then she'd gone to fight Dark Opal, and he couldn't help but think that if he'd joined her, they wouldn't be in this mess. Sure, he'd gotten soundly trounced the first time they fought, but he could at least distract the dark wizard.

The Good Witch had been trying to salvage things in the weeks that had followed the appearance of Dark Opal's new 'general' and the desperate struggle that ensued, and, frankly, he hadn't had much choice but to step up. It was at least theoretically possible to fix this, hence him being here at all instead of hanging out in his cave, wallowing in his failure and watching his kingdom crumble away under Dark Opal's malevolence. If for no other reason than he owed it to his people to try.

He called for a ten minute break as the frogs started to lag, and went to talk to the Good Witch. One upside of being nothing but bones was that he didn't really get tired any more, so he could do a lot of extra work training and managing the rebellion. Of course, he didn't have anybody to spar with, and drills only helped so much one he'd gotten used to his lighter skeleton body, so the only real way to improve was to get involved in real fights with Dark Opal's forces.

"Learned anything new?" he asked. He'd asked her about Amethyst the first time they'd seen each other after the Princess' disastrous confrontation with Dark Opal. She'd claimed something had gone wrong with Earth, and that had in turn affected the princess and her struggle with Dark Opal, though she'd also claimed to need some time to figure out what it was.

The Good Witch seemed... shaken, which surprised Prince Topaz. He'd never known her to be fazed by anything.

"You could say that, yes." she began. She tossed a pinch of something into a bubbling cauldron, and a burst of purple smoke erupted from it. Being a skeleton, Topaz waving it away was more reflex than anything else. "The Earth has suffered some kind of... dimensional cleaving, different timelines crudely patched together like a child gluing puzzle pieces into place. One of those pieces included a being of.. pure evil." she explained, as the cauldron resolved a picture of a black being with a green face and a crown of flames, it grinned down at the Earth, which Topaz could feel a palpable wrongness from, even though he'd never seen it before. "It's influence is the reason Dark Opal won. What it wants more than anything is a world where evil is law, and it's mere presence is tilting the balance towards that end. Princess Amethyst isn't the only hero to have fallen, one way or another." images swirled through the cauldron. One of a madman wearing a crown surrounded by mountains of ice and snow, several people visibly frozen as he rambled on about nothing to no one, another of a pirate captain laughing as he ordered entire fleets about, a teenager grinning with clear malice as he oversaw the construction of empty, mindless machines to deliver death and destruction, a child whose aura made Dark Opal look like a mischievous candy thief ordering demons and a girl in a black hooded cloak bearing a scythe around, what appeared to be a man cloaked in shadow going over plans to make children suffer for no reason other than personal hatred, crystalline people sucking the very life out of the Earth to make more of their kind, and on and on it went, the entire planet overrun with monsters and monstrous beings.

"As you can see, we're just one front in a battle between good and evil that good is losing. We can't count on any more outside help. Still, there is some hope."

"Good, because this whole conversation has been a nightmare so far." Topaz commented, too wrung out to muster much in the way of enthusiasm at the best of times these days.

The Good Witch threw another pinch of something into the cauldron. Topaz saw a number of different people still fighting against the darkness, often in similarly dire straits as they were, but there was the odd act of kindness carried out by the same evil people he'd just seen, hinting that there might be some hope from that quarter as well. What really drew his attention was the last image, which showed Dark Amethyst, her clothes a blackened, jagged parody of her old outfit, not unlike their wearer, had paused, jerking in the middle of flinging a wave of dark magic around as she swung her sword. Slowly the dark magic faded, and the Princess' expression shifted into something softer, brighter magic sputtering into being, before solidifying into something similar to the dark magic she was using before. The Princess began to practice with her normal magic, learning it's ins and outs with remarkable speed.

"She's still in there?" Topaz asked, a spark of hope he'd thought quenched reigniting.

"Yes. She can't break out for long, or reliably, but we can get her back. We just need to hang on long enough to manage it." the good Witch answered, a slight smile on her face as Amy Winston practiced with her magic. These were the opposite of ideal circumstances, but it was nice to see her learning to use her gifts.

***​

Amy huffed as she worked on imbuing her sword with magic and firing it off in various ways. She paused as a thought occurred to her, concentrating hard on a particular idea regarding her sword and the magic involved. With a grunt of exertion, her sword transformed into a staff, and a quick test showed that it was quite the amplifier of her magic, shattering a nearby boulder where the slashes had only managed to crack it.

While Dark Opal had forced her to serve him, he apparently hadn't managed to patch up all the cracks. She could feel his spell pressing down on her though, so she couldn't risk trying to find Topaz or the witch from before, since she didn't know how long she had before the personality that obeyed Dark Opal was in charge again. She could prepare though. If she got back control close to Dark Opal, she'd be ready, and if nothing else, she could sabotage 'Dark Amethyst' and her training session to keep her from destroying the rebellion... more. Another 10 minutes of practice, the spell weighing down on her a little harder by the moment, and she changed the staff back into a sword just in case. She didn't think Dark Amethyst knew about her, and she'd like to keep it that way so she could ambush Dark Opal. At this point, literally stabbing him in the back was sounding pretty good...

Dark Amethyst shook herself. Why was she thinking like that? And why was her magic so drained? Had she overdone it on that last strike? The rubble where that one boulder used to be certainly point to that conclusion. She set off to report back to the dark lord of Gemworld her lack of progress on her training. Perhaps she might persuade him to let her try again? He was remarkably understanding of her inadequacies in that regard.

AN: Like I said, Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld works as a standalone thing like Teen Titans. In this case, 'Dark Amethyst' the equivalent of General Platyborg for Dark Opal, was the result of a similar brainwashing technique, though based on magic and not science. As Amy has some magical talents of her own, and this iteration of Gemworld is a World-style Imaginary Friend created by her with a more complete world and many denizens because she possesses some Occult talent to bolster the phenomenon and a framework in the form of the video game she's making, she can break free if the action she's assigned to crit fails(or a Personal rolls 10 or lower) and do an Action of her own, though training Personals usually just get rerolled with Amy/Amethyst as the sole beneficiary rather than Dark Amethyst training and Amy copying her by virtue of sharing headspace.

The gimmick of Dark Opal's faction is that 'Dark Amethyst' is likely to be competitive with Opal himself at worst, and his direct superior in some or all Stats throughout much of the game, as her Personals with him are technically Nemesis Actions, as are her Crit Fail actions, essentially putting her in a pressure cooker. Additionally, as Gemworld is technically a figment of her imagination, there is a fundamental issue with Dark Opal, or really anyone from Gemworld, controlling Amethyst in this fashion, so she's effectively got a secondary EXP boost ability going on as long as this mess is happening beyond normal Nemesis stuff. Unless actively suppressed, she will rapidly gain Stats and Traits to the point she hit double-digit advantages over Dark Opal across the board. Occult in particular is a problem for him, as gaining an advantage over him makes it easier for her to break free, to the point she might do so automatically per Crit Fail. As Amethyst is actively trying to break free, she effectively has a +10 to crit fail chances, and Dark Opal puts up with her mostly because he doesn't have a lot of other Hero Unit options, and Dark Amethyst has 100% Loyalty in her non-Crit Fail state, which gives a bit of a buffer before her Stats effectively surpassing his actually puts him in danger.

It also helps that, despite Aku's influence, Amy effectively has a homeground advantage here, since it's her world. A post-freedom Amethyst, or even before if Dark Opal gets lucky with his recovery rolls, could get a bonkers 'One Ring close to Mount Doom' Trait that boosts her in Gemworld, giving her something like +10 to everything before any effort is put into upgrading it. Of course, if she does break free at this point, he's basically screwed. Still, based on normal forum culture, I doubt the players could resist the shiny every-growing Hero Unit.

 

[HellaCooltricks]

As you brooded in your office, looking out over the window, your mind filled with new ideas, of different plans and schemes. During the brief time it's been since your return, you have already been doing so much. Fighting gems, enacting your will, restructuring Adult Co, all of which showed your indomitable, unstoppable power.

For a moment, pride fills you, perhaps for the first time in quite some time. You looked up, seeing the gem on your mantle, a trophy of your battles against the Gem Empire. Maybe, just maybe, you had everything together, and it would only be a matter of time before you had regained your position as the world's most prominent soopervillain.

That's about when you saw the goat-monkey smash into your window.

"WHAT IN THE-"

Screeching and clawing, the donkey-jackal-monkey with wings shattered the window, pouncing at you from the sky. Caught off guard, you slammed into your expensive bookcase, groaning as one, two, three books fell toppled off the shelf and slammed into your head, each one eliciting a painful grunt and groan. Sparks flew from your pipe, as you rubbed your head in anger.

"BREEHAW, BREEYHAW!"

The beast cawled, croaked and gibbered, sent into a frenzy as it bucked and broncked, slamming into your desk, your fireplace, your… well, everything. Kicking it's legs out, it smashed a self-portrait you had just painted the day before. Now that made you mad. You vanish.

"Now SEE here."

You blast out of the cloud of smoke, fiery claw raining down upon the ungulgate intruder, stiff and uncompromising. But your swipe finds only open air, as the beast leaped back, great wings blowing it back. So that explained how it got up twenty-zillion floors, give or take. Well, this wouldn't do.

"I suppose I COULD make some SHEppard pie!"

Creating a fire ball between your hands, you reared your arms back over your head, and then chunked the blast towards the beast. As expected, with it's wild bucking, it managed to convert it's way just narrowly out of the path of the attack; but with a smug satisfaction, you watched as the fireball curved mid-air, realigning it's attack and swinging back like a meteor in orbit. The beast brays in confusion, fire splashing onto it as the meteor-flame consumed it. With a smokey, last caw, it slams to your feet, sputtering as it tried to recover.

"My, my, my. SEEMS like somebody learned a VALUABLE lesson."

Grabbing the monster by the scruff of his neck, you simply walk back over to the window, and, in a fit of mild rage, toss it right back out the window it came crashing in through.

"And STAY OUT."

Turning away from the window, you clap your hands, cleaning the singed hair and soot from them. That was about when you saw Hank standing in the doorway, looking slightly awkward and very surprised.

"So uh… I suppose you'd like me to reschedule your five o'clock, Mr. Father Sir?"

"Uh… Yes. Go ahead and do that MR. Hill."

"Right away sir. And uh, as per your request, you wanted me to inform you it was 'Steak day' today."

"Oh! Steak! Splendid MR. Hank, send up the reconstruction crew, but FIRST, LETS get some grub. Then we can FIGURE OUT whoever had the guts to send me an unrequested lamb-chop dinner."

"That uh, in reference to the monster you chucked out that there window?"

"Yes…. That WAS obvious… Right?"

"Oh, right, of course sir."

The silence hung for a moment.

And then another moment.

And then another.

"So… Do you know who sent that thing?"

"NOT A CLUE."




—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FATHERQUEST - ROUND 2
FATHER IS CURRENTLY [WARM AND FUZZY] [39]
Effects: +5 to Diplomacy, -5 Intrigue

STICKYBEARD REMAINS IN AREA, BUT IS NOT AVAILABLE TO USE ON ACTIONS

NATIONAL ACTIONS

Spoiler: MARTIAL

[ ] Cut the Lawn
DC 75
With the kids on the run, your attention turns back to the monsters and ruffians, only to find them more then when you last looked. Things were getting a little bit more dicey out there, and bit by bit, some of them are crawling their way into the city and away from the fringes. It was about time you cleaned up this mess.
Reward: Giant monsters, mutants, and other weird things become pacified, reducing the chance that they try to attack again any time soon. May impress monster hunters.

[ ] Cut Down KND Treehouses
DC Variable
You've got those naughty Kids Next Door on the run. The dumb ones have already been rounded-up, but that leaves the kids that think they're oh-so-clever, hiding inside their sector treehouses. The joke's on them! They've got treehouses, but you've got chainsaws! Saw those strongholds of dissent down, and throw any KND operatives you get your hands on into permanent detention!
Reward: Sector treehouses in North America are cut down, further destabilizing the Kids Next Door remnant. Chances to capture notable KND operatives and confiscate 2x4 hardware are based on your level of success.

[ ] Train Ice-Cream Men
DC Variable
After months of being left to their devices, your ice-cream men have gotten out of shape. Well, having unlimited access to ice-cream and little supervision will do that to people. But no matter, after a run through your advanced training course, they'll be slinging scoops with the best of them.
Reward: Restablishes professional Ice Cream Men guards, Increased security for Ice Cream Factory

[ ] Hunt Down Mother-Tie
DC 80
Your journal speaks of an ancient beast, hidden deep, deep within the forgotten mini-malls of Delaware. A monstrous creature, known only as the Mother-Tie, birther of all lesser ties. It's progeny have proven to possess a strange power to possess people, increasing their bureaucratic power, but at the rumored eating of the wearer's will to live. Hunting down the progenitor of them all could prove a boon to your business.
Reward: Capture of the Mother-Tie, Thread Decision

[ ] Continue to Fight Gems
DC 95
The Gems have bunkered down north, and have deployed more advanced technology in an effort to stop the counter-assaults. You could continue the fight against them, but it's certainly going to be more difficult now.
Reward: More Gem Tech, improved relations with Government, Possible Hero Recruits, Gem Prisoners

Spoiler: DIPLOMACY

[ ] Reach Out to Corporate Competition
DC 50
You've recently heard about some other businesses that have cropped up during your leave of absence. Well, it's high time you got a taste of the competition! Reach out to as many as you can, and maybe you can figure out how they tick.
Reward: Father introduces himself to the other megacorp magnates in the USA. Should notify the job market that you're back in business.

[ ] Set up a Lobbiest Group
DC 80
Listen, between you and the world, your not quite sure what these people are doing, nor why you would pay them. But they have nice suits, and you've heard they can be a good at talking the government into doing things.
Reward: Increased Influence in Government

[ ] Seek Presidential Candidates
DC Variable
With the election coming up, some of your subordinates have been suggesting you find a presidential candidate likely to win, and work out some sort of degree. Hank, for some reason, wants you to support some weirdo named 'Bush', but you'll keep your options open.
Reward: Presidential Sponsorship, rewards if they become president

[ ] Locate Mr. Fizz
DC 65
You've finally gotten a lead on where your old Root Beer Baron wound up; evidently, he's been hunting down soda-drinkers for the longest time in the mid-west. Rumor has it that he's even gotten in good with Katz as a hunter for Soda.
Reward: Potential Hero Recruitment,

Spoiler: STEWARDSHIP

[ ] Implement Candy Stock Exchange
DC 75
The economy took some funny turns as of recent. Nation-backed currencies are out, and candy is in. If Stickybeard and his candy pirate ilk could become wealthy buccaneers overnight, why can't you get a sweet cut of the action? Set yourself up a candy stock market to take advantage of the new status quo.
Reward: Info on the economics of the world, and current extent of candy piracy. Keeps track of candy stocks.

[ ] Buy a News Network
DC 70
After witnessing Chris' little stunt on Telly-vision, you've been inspired to try your hand at a little media production, or what-ever-they call it. As you look through the catalog, you find a few that catch your eyes. Unfortunately, what comes next is paperwork intensive.
Reward: Father obtains a news network to learn more about what's going on in the world and tell people what he wants them to hear. Unlocks sub-vote to determine which one you buy.

[ ] Buy Scam Co. Products
DC 20
Advertising works, even on you. After the elventy-billionth ad, you cave in and decide to buy a smattering of different products, items, services and more. For what it's worth, everything you decide to buy will be extremely cheap. With these prices, it's hard not to buy them!
Reward: Whatever your money gets you! Opens sub-vote for suboptimal products.

[ ] Re-Establish Coffee-rigs
DC 80
While it was true that you could "grow" certain beans, you knew that was just the weak sauce. What every adult craved was that dark-brown gold, Coffee! Capitalized for the trademark! Buried under the ocean floor, fermenting for thousands of years, this liquid motivator was the perfect choice to help boost production. The only problem was getting there; supposedly, pirates were abound these days, as were sea monsters. But the temptation of money (and coffee) was there.
Reward: Coffee Rigs, Future Sea Base Expansion, Adult Co. expansion

[ ] Develop Luxury housing for Employees
DC 70
Well, not all your employees. That'd be silly. But it couldn't hurt to build some nicer housing for your biggest and most valuable underlings would make sense. After seeing all of your sooper villains run off the moment you left, it probably wouldn't hurt to keep them all anchored in one spot to ensure they don't run off. They'll probably appreciate the idea, and will (hopefully) keep them from moving into your house.
Reward: Increased Loyalty for Heroes, bonus loyalty for new recruited heroes

Spoiler: INTRIGUE

[ ] Look into Aliens
DC 70
Aliens? You thought Hank was pulling your leg about ETs and little green men, when the truth is that you metaphorically slept through first contact. Or maybe literally, depending on if it was before noon. Learn about your new neighbors from outer space, and figure out if those space cadets online were on to something.
Reward: Father becomes aware of major alien factions active on Earth. Unlocks actions to establish (late) contact with them.

[ ] Investigate the "Guild"
DC 70
So there's some other tough guys trying to edge in on your turf, eh? Well, you were the original one to set up villainy! Well, at least adult-themed villainy, and that's got to count for something. Monstroso mentioned something about these costumed villains while signing, and with a little sleuthing, you might be able to learn about them.
Reward: Discover the Guild of Calamitous Intent, and what their whole deal is.

[ ] Begin Total Drama Production Sabotage
DC 80
As a sign of good faith, and for added protection, Izzy has spilled the beans on pretty much everything she knew about Total Drama Productions. And oh boy, it's a doozy. Just from memory, she's been able to explain some of the different weak points in TDP's broadcasting, infrastructure and management. She's more than eager to get back at that idiot McLean, and this would be the first step forward.
Reward: Sabotaging of Total Drama Productions, weakening of Chris McLean

[ ] Investigate Paradigm City
DC 50
It was only a few month ago when you noticed a strange new city on the map. Paradigm City, a bustling metropolis located in a desert and right off the coast. You had never heard of such a place before, but evidently, it had been there for years. It was pretty reluctant to make contact with the wider world, but in doing so, it's grown to be quite the place of commerce. It's secured, enclosed domes have proved to be a reliable deterrent to outside threats when coupled with its mysterious robotic protectors.
Reward: Information about Paradigm city, establish contact with people within

[ ] Sabotage Mr. Boss Recruitment
DC 60
After hearing about Mr Boss' defection, you are already on the warparth, ready to cut it short. Izzy has made it clear that with a clever plan or two, the relationship between Eddy and Mr. Boss could be severed quickly and efficiently. While if found out, it would ruin any future negotiations with him, it would serve as an excellent way to punish that annoying runt Eddy.
Reward: Eddy does not Recruit Mr. Boss, Possible Hero recruitment

[ ] Break Endsville Energy Solutions & Morbucks Oil Partnership
DC 90
The partnership between Morbucks Oil and Endsville Energy Solutions could potentially prove catastrophic for any future energy sector ventures of yours. Morbucks Oil owns thousands oil reserves around the world, and is one of the biggest names in drilling. Meanwhile, Mandy has proven the viability of her Underworld Reactors. Combined, it could result in a massive power house - Quite literally in this case.
Reward: Damaging Mandy's Economic power, halting merger

[ ] Locate Sector V Members
DC 70
Sector V, your arch-enemy. While there's no trace of Sector Z or Monty, there have been a few whispers here and there of what Numbuh 2, 3, 4 and 5 have gotten up to since your disappearance. Your inclined to hunt them down, and find out exactly what those little-snot-nosed children have gotten up to! The only thing you know for certain right now is that they seemed to have split up.
Reward: Leads on Sector V's locations.

Spoiler: LEARNING

[ ] Build an Even Bigger Robot
DC 75
That Mandark punk made a robot that's bigger and tougher than yours. You could be the bigger man about this and let it slide. On the other hand, you could be a bigger and better man by making a bigger and better robot that'll put that junior poindexter in his place!
Reward: Increased bonuses for your Giant Robot. This may instigate an escalating mech-building contest between you and Mandark. As the Even Bigger Robot is being made for spite fi
rst and practicality second, there will be diminishing returns and higher DCs if this keeps being taken.

[ ] Investigate 2x4 Technology
DC 80
After sending the KND remnant running home for their mamas, you came to an unpleasant realization. Those pesky Kids Next Door left without cleaning up all of their junk! Normally you would have torched the lot of it, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to have the lab techs study how those kids built all their little toys out of such haphazard, el-cheapo building material.
Reward: Father learns the base principles of 2x4 technology, the equipment and vehicles utilized by the Kids Next Door. Determines if industrial or commercial applications are possible.

[ ] Research Gem Technology
DC 75
Now this was a whole new ball game. When you first got your hands on a piece of gem tech, a weird little orb, you couldn't even begin to make heads or tales of it. Heck, you couldn't even find the on and off button. After a while of messing around with it, though, you eventually got it to sprout some legs and walk around. You've since put it into a cage, and have begun to experiment on other technologies.
Reward: Further Understanding of Gem Tecnology, Gem Tech upgrades

[ ] Look for New Energy Sources
DC 65
After a thoroughly informative and well-put together slideshow from Hank, you've decided to pursue a new energy source. He has suggested that since Endsville Energy Solutions has begun to devour the current energy market, the purchase of propane and other natural gas at dirt cheap prices might help make you energy independent, as well as provide profits from shipping it over sea.
Reward: Increased presence in Energy Sector, new power plant, future overseas connections.

Spoiler: OCCULT

[ ] Look into Artifacts
DC ??
Speaking of magic, on the other hand, there are all those cool, magical and probably not-cursed artifacts. While you weren't much for it, a lot of rumors are swirling around the use of these artifacts.
Reward: Magical or unique artifacts, or at least locations of them.


[ ] Research the Book of K.N.D.
DC 80
Looking over to the shelf, you spot the book. A chill run downs your spine, as just the sight ofi t brings back some bitter, hurting memories. That was the thing your brother had held so dearly, had caused your own fathers defeat twice, and eventually… his death. Gingerly picking it up, you dust off the cover. You supposed you out to read it. Cracking open the book, you are met with singed paper, slight bits of ash, and something entirely incomprehensible. Page after page of gibberish, the words squirming and wriggling under your sight, never quite making sense. Oh wait, your glasses were off. Putting them on, and nope, it didn't help. Something strange was at work here, and you'd need to take some more time to figure it out.
Reward: Better Understanding of the Book of K.N.D.

PERSONAL ACTIONS

Father receives 4 Personal Actions per round. Heroes have 1 Personal Action in addition to being assigned to a National Action.

Spoiler: FATHER

[ ] Call the Moonbase
It's taken two repeated calls and more then a few appointments being made, but eventually, you've managed to arrange a call with Numbuh 362. Frankly, this whole thing has been incredibly unprofessional! And very out of character for her, to be frank. You had always thought the head brat was a bit more organized and direct than this. And what is all this talk about Moltar Productions?

[ ] Hold a Barbeque
If you were gonna get people back to your side, you knew the key to a lot of people's hearts. A good, old fashioned, personally cooked, Barbeque! And you were the best cook you knew. Not that'd you say it in front of Gramma Stuffum.

[ ] Visit Providence
This Providence group is strange - Haven't heard of them before, but they seem like a big deal. They hunt pretty much anything that moves, and aren't afraid to get a little dirty doing so. Maybe you could talk them into hunting down the KND? Classify them as terrorists or something.

[ ] Talk to the OSI
Well, talking isn't the right word. You've been cordially invited to attend a meeting with the head of this OSI. They didn't say what for or why, but you've decided to come and hear him out, and see what he has to say about this so called "Guild".


[ ] Work on Sir Toasty (Again)
Well, now that Sir Toasty is up and running again, you're thinking about possibly adding some different bells and whistles to him. Maybe make him a bit smarter? Slight RAGE decrease.

[ ] Eat Ice Cream
Indulge yourself. RAGE decreases.

[ ] Visit Spankulot in Prison
Last you heard, Spankulot was in the hoosegow. You're not sure when that happened, but you can understand why. Sure, he was a villain, but even you admit, the whole "hunt down naughty kids and spank them" thing was a little too weird. It seems he was "canceled", both online and in real life. Better go visit and see how bad things have gotten.

[ ] Persuade Stickybeard to stay
After that little bout with the gems, you really, really like Stickybeard to stay! He was so helpful! It could be just like the old days, right?

Spoiler: HANK HILL

[ ] Hang Out in the Alleyway
Well, it's not really the alleyway, but the CEO's office corridor would be a good way to boost morale and meet people. He could even invite Mr. Father!

[ ] Look into What All This "Super Villainy" Is
Becoming a CEO of a big corporation is stressful. It can be even more disconcerting when he finds out that it also produces supervillain weapons and tools. Hank will try to come to an understanding with what he does.

[ ] Go Selling
Heading out into the world, Hank does what Hank does best: Meeting people and convincing them of the benefits of partnering with Adult Co. Father didn't ask him to do this, but Hank really enjoys that kinda work.

[ ] Mow the Yard
Literally this time, not metaphorically. A healthy lawn leaves a healthy state of mind, doing some lawn work on Father's property is good exercise.

[ ] Hold a Barbeque
Have a barbeque! It won't be as good as Father's, but it will be certifiably Texan. Hank will host a barbeque and see who shows up!

Spoiler: TOILETNATOR

[ ] Build an homage to Father
Tolienator did kinda mess up his fountain. Let's make a new one! Although, it will primarily be made of plumbing pipes and urinals. He'll probably like it?

[ ] Look for Friends!
Well, since all the villains left, Tolienator has mostly been left without a social circle. Time to fix that! Tolienator will try and find some friends to talk to. Keyword try.

[ ] Defend Toliets!
It is the Tolienator's duty to hunt down all those who would dare mock or descrate those sacred potty places! He will be the ceramic avenger!

[ ] Deal with Numbuh 13
Your newest rival! Father has assigned you the goal of dealing with him!

Spoiler: "IZZY"

[ ] Create Podcast
Taking some time out of her busy schedule, Izzy will create a podcast! She will go over her time on Total Drama, capture some people for live interviews, and try talk about interesting things!

[ ] Send Audition Tapes
Izzy will create audition tapes, mostly for movie studios not owned by Chris. While is technically black listed, that hasn't stopped her before.

[ ] Spread Gossip
Nothing creates chaos like a good bit of drama, and Izzy can't help but push some dominoes over. She'll create some gossip and carefully put it into places outside of Adult Co.

[ ] Performa stunt
Gotta give the people what they want, and what they want is Izzy! Izzy will go out and preform a death defying insane stunt - Or at least, that's what it will look like. In truth, it will just be an illusion, designed to trick the public.

[ ] Recruit a Hero
Hire a hero of the hero units currently available for acquisition. This costs two Personal Actions from Father to perform, and can only be taken once per round.

Spoiler: "Available Heroes"

[ ] Knightbrace
The Plaque Crusader, the shining knight of shiny teeth, and the retainered foe of all things unhygienic. It seems that he has lagged behind the other soopervillains in their rampages, as he has personally taken his time to hunt down each and every cavity in the area before moving on. This has made his progress rather slow, and easy to find: Just follow the dental floss and you'll find your man.

[ ] Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb
The ominous, chair-bound Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb are masters of engineering and are technical wizzes, making incredibly sophisticated robotic-chairs to do their dirty work. After seeing you make your return with a giant robot, they've approached you and are looking to join up once more.

[ ] Doctor Orpheus
Necromancer Supreme, Dr. Orpheus greets you with formality and diligence, although there is also a hint of apprehension. He entered your office with an unnecessary flourish, and proclaimed your dark destiny, and how he is but a mere servant of greater powers and how the world was in great peril, blah, blah, blah… You stopped paying attention until he mentioned needing a new place after his last one burned down. He offers exceptional mystic protection and insight, but when asked about the previous villainous experience, he seemed unquestionably uncomfortable.
SPECIAL: Cannot be recruited with Hex. Expires at the end of Turn 3.

[ ] Hex
Hex enters your office quietly, but with purpose. He gets straight to business, introducing himself as a master magician of great renown. Rather than being a "servant" like Orpheus, Hex commands mystical forces. His knowledge of black magic is more focused on offensive applications than defensive ones, but he's no slouch in any fields. After years of performing some impressive feats of villainy on his own, Hex has come to you seeking the opportunity to apply his occult powers for profit. You can respect that.
SPECIAL: Cannot be recruited with Doctor Orpheus. Expires at the end of Turn 3.

[ ] Mr. Black and Mr. White
These two government agents are the picturesque men-in-black. Black suits, black glasses, crew cuts, and earpiece in 24/7, they hit every checkmark one possibly could. Heck, the two look almost near identical. But personality-wise, they seem a bit more lax, and willing to help brush things under the rug, so long as it serves the Government's agenda overall.

[ ] Professor XXXL
This weirdo walked in with a turtle shell on his back, a lobster claw for an arm, a janky hair-cut and a hankering for Snow Cones. But he might just be turtle-lobster-jank-snowcone-maker mad scientist for you. Just don't call him that, it's never be proven in court.

THIRTY MINUTE MORATORIUM

Christmas Approaches
(Be Prepared)​

 

[Penguinbowler]

I sell (Toilet)Paper and (Toilet)Paper Accessories

Hank Hill was still getting accustomed to his new job. Going from his local propane store to CEO of the world's biggest office supplies company was a fairly massive jump, but not one he necessarily regretted. The pay was good, he was allowed to decorate his office however he liked, and Father was even trying to help the USA get back on its feet. For an Englishman he was showing an incredible amount of patriotism. Outside of the lack of Propane (he should really see if he can get Father to let him handle the company's Energy readjustment to help him fix that); the biggest issue was the blatant insanity of how a super-villain company operates.

While the paper manufacturing departments were what he was expecting; along with the photocopiers and cubicles; the more out of the way the departments are, the more likely it was some weird thing Hank wished he never knew about. The fact coffee is drilled for rather than just grown was one thing; as was the super-scientist inventing new flavors of ice cream. The people building giant death robots were another entirely. He also didn't enjoy the meeting where the various upper managers would debate on whether they should build a candy stock exchange or try to buy a news network. And after the trip to the tie factory Hank has swapped completely over to bow-ties. He doesn't care if they are overly formal, he is not letting one of those things near his neck again.

Now, his boss wanted him to reverse engineer alien technology. Something about being the "Best person for the job". Hank at the very least was given a team of scientists to help him understand the greater principles. He began to think of his coworkers and if they would be better at this then him. He knows that the new girl Izzy was sent to assist Father in keeping the Gems off America's soil. He also is pretty sure Izzy Explosivo is not her real name, but at the very least he can appreciate her help. Father has also decided to hire the weird skull face wizard instead of the more polite one; but Hank really didn't want to learn about magic like that so he wasn't gonna raise any complaints. The candy pirate also was apparently just a friend of Mr. Uno, and not likely to stick around to help much longer. That just leaves…

Immediately weird noises began coming from the pipes directly above Hank. Knowing what was about to happen, he sighed and moved the various Gem Tech as far away from the pipes as possible. Sure enough around 2 minutes later the pipe burst and Toiletnator came tumbling out.

"I have you now Numbuh Thirte… Oh, Hi Mr. Hill!"

"Hello Lou, I take it you're still trying to 'deal with' that child?"

"Yep; he's a dastardly one! Luckily I managed to figure out he was going to be heading to the Ice Cream Freezers and sought to cut him off!" The soopervillain paused to look around before it slowly dawned on him that this wasn't the Ice Cream Freezers.

"Wait a minute, this isn't the ice cream department; it's the main Research and Development department! Did you know that I used to be the chief executive of this place!"

Hank didn't know how to respond to this. Oh sure he knew Toiletnator had worked for Father for years, but didn't ever think he was anything more than a janitor. This man seemed to be incapable of doing his taxes; and yet he apparantly managed one of the company's most important departments. Come to think of it, some of the old business magazines in the break room had a guy that looked like the Toiletnator on the cover…

"What happened to cause Father to demote you?" Hank's belief in his ability to limit his connection with the more absurd parts of the company was slowly starting to die.

"Demote me? What are you talking about! After the despicable Kids Next Door attacked us to stop us from making new, disgusting vegetables for them to eat I was trapped in a portapotty for days; with nothing to eat but urinal cakes. It was there The Almighty Protector of Potty's chose me to be his champion! To punish those kids who mistreated the bathroom and…"

"Can you please hurry along,Father wants me to reverse engineering this" he gulps "Alien technology"

"Oh sure; well anyway I asked Father if I could become one of his Soopervillains, and he said 'I never want you in another management position again after you tried to build a refinery without any nails.' So now I defend toilets around the world!".

Hank stops listening and instead starts heading to a valve, which uses to turn off all water to the lab. "Hey Lou, can I ask you a favor? Clean up the water that got all over the floor while I get a new pipe to replace the one you broke."

As Hank was preparing to leave, he remembered something important "Also, aren't you supposed to be buying a news company right now"

"Oh that? Father told me he never wants me to meet new people without his direct supervision, I find it nice he cares about me enough to see my successes. But sure thing Mr.Hill!"

Putting his palm to his face Hank began walking away to the maintenance closet, At the very least this is something he is used to doing and not some absurd supervillain plot to destroy children's happiness like so many other things in the company. He was actually starting to worry somewhat, if a former high ranking executive got into a situation where he became a terrible supervillain; what if something similar happened to him?

 

[HellaCooltricks]

TURN 3 - RESULTS

[X] Operation O.P.A.L (Occult Plus Alien Luminosity)
-[X] Continue to Fight Gems
--[X] Izzy
-[X] Reach Out to Corporate Competition
-[X] Buy a News Network
--[X] Toiletnator
-[X] Look into Aliens
-[X] Research Gem Technology
--[X] Hank Hill
-[X] Look into Artifacts
-[X] Call the Moonbase
-[X] Persuade Stickybeard to Stay
-[X] Recruit Dr. Hex
-[X] Go Selling
-[X] Deal with Numbuh 13
-[X] Create Podcast


NATIONAL ACTIONS

-[X] Continue to Fight Gems
DC 95 (CF 2% CS 8%)
1d100 = 63 + 37 + 25 + 5 + 2 = 132
Success!

??? INTERRUPT ACTION!
-[ ] Halt the Human Counterattack!
1d100 = 43 + 34 + 5 + 17 +3 = 102
Failure!

The War Against The GEM INVADERS Goes On!

At least, that's how the media is spelling and spinning it. You return once more to the front lines, and this time, it really is WAR. Working with the US government to an extent, who is increasingly surprised to see you return, you are pointed in a direction and get to work. With your efforts, the cities of Montreal, Ottawa and Quebec City are finally liberated, and the gem forces are being pushed further and further back, until finally quitting the eastern front altogether and pulling back into the remote wilderness. But that's not going to stop YOU! Chasing after the gem forces in route, you come face-to-face with the first real threat they can offer.

To Be Continued in: "Heating Up!"


-[X] Reach Out to Corporate Competition
DC 50 (CF 2% CS 8%)
1d100 = 93 + 26 = 119
Critical Success!

Heading out into the wild world of commerce and capitalism, you show up at a few events to schmooze and rub shoulders with the new corporate elite. You're catching up on recent news, getting a grasp of their preferred specialities and fields of industry. Your reappearance on the scene has been overall well-received, and you received a few token gifts from your contemporaries in the mail. From Mandy, you're given a gemstone made out of the finest cinnamon to celebrate your success against the Gems. Mandark's "gift" are suggestions for improving the blueprints for your giant robot. Swell.

When your invitation to cooperate goes through to the smaller companies, your initial responses are almost overwhelming. A few do jump out at you. One company that sounds vaguely familiar, Venture Techno Industries, is willing to do business with you. Despite the vast harassment from an anonymous source, its CEO and Owner, JJ Venture seems on-board with cooperation. The second is a small auto body repair shop going by the name of Skips' Chop Shop is up for sale. While not big in the slightest, your meeting with its owner, the titular Skips, was fascinating. In the meanwhile, you were able to get a feeler out for just about every major corporation in America, so now you at least know about them.

Reward: Increased relations with all of the corporate factions. A writeup on the major corporate groups (Endsville Energy, Mandark Co, Scam Co, Katz Ventures, and Black Hat) will be presented in a future update. Actions related to VenTech Industries are now available.

NEW HERO FOR RECRUITMENT: Skips!
Skips becomes available for recruitment for FREE next round, not counting towards your normal recruitment limit.


-[X] Buy a News Network
DC 70 (CF 4% CS 6%)
1d100 = 85 + 19 + 10 + 2 = 116
Success!

Some say that television is hard to break into. Well, evidently, no, it's actually not that hard at all. All you really need is a big fat stack of cash, a can-do attitude, and a rampant desire to buy a news network. And it's just your luck too; the market is in a scramble, and you're just on the tail end of a major toss up. You should be able to buy whichever one you like. So which one will it be?

Reward: Your new news network will provide insight into further rival actions. Actions related to television/broadcasting now available!

A vote on which news network you'd like to buy will be posted in a future update. Canon Write-Ins are encouraged!


-[X] Look into Aliens
DC 70 (CF 4% CS 6%)
1d100 = 83 + 27 = 110
Success!

Looking through the reports, and pulling a few strings with your liaisons, you are able to confirm the existence of aliens in an official capacity. And oh boy, it's a friggin doozy. Aliens have become practically commonplace. Most of them are refugees from other planets who were visiting Earth for some reason or another and were stuck here. Others are half-human hybrids descended from aliens. Both of those groups are fairly benign, though they have strange powers and traits relating to their extraterrestrial origins.

The rest are not so friendly. Alien invaders have also become upsettingly common. One of the biggest invading factions, and the one you're currently dealing with, are the Gems. The Gems are silicon aliens who have set up in Canada and are harvesting the planet's resources to increase their numbers. This has long term consequences for the ecosystem, and short term consequences because there's now an army of them trying to conquer the world. They have different classifications that have become common knowledge since they began their warpath.

On the other side of the world, there's a supposed alien warlord known as Vilgax occupying the Philippines and the surrounding area. Rumor has it that he's been fighting off a tyrant that has conquered Australia while also still defending himself from invaders from Asia. Many claim that he has some sort of technology with incredible power at his disposal, but details are vague. Allied to him are two other alien powers stranded on Earth, but the details become ever sketicher.

Rumors also persist about a secret cabal of aliens within America itself. These "Hybrids" are said to be part alien, part human, and entirely a problem. Infiltrating positions, enacting dark schemes, supporting alien enclaves, and more. But that's about all you've heard about this particular group.

Finally, by learning about the aliens, you've also heard word about those that hunt them. The Forever Knights, as they call themselves, are a brotherhood of pro-human warriors, dedicated to purging the alien threat. Whispers say they have heard of your actions, and are most pleased.

Their rivals in the dedicated field of dealing with extraterrestrial threats are the Plumbers. A bit show-boaty, but their recent alliance with the larger organization, Providence, has cemented them as one of the world's premier alien hunting forces. They are widespread, thorough, and always on the hunt for the next threat against humanity.

Most of this was learned via a dealer in alien technology who's set up shop in your territory. They were willing to let some of their know-how go in exchange for some future considerations. Technology from extraterrestrial sources is a hot commodity, or so they say. It's almost always more advanced than what humans have already come up with, meaning there's much that can be learned from research. Or can be used for its intended purpose of causing havoc. You get the impression that if aliens weren't around, they'd be selling plain old guns instead.

There's a booming market for alien tech. Especially weapons. If you ever have any surplus you're willing to part with, you now have someone to sell it to.

Reward: Father is more aware of alien factions on Earth. New actions unlocked.


-[X] Research Gem Technology
DC 75 (CF 3% CS 7%)
1d100 = 98 + 19 + 19 + 2 = 138
Critical Success!

You haul that massive, metal hand the Gems call a warship into the Adult Co. R&D department. After weeks of work, Hank is able to come back with some astonishing results. He almost seems a bit in disbelief himself, really, but his words are brimming with pride as he reads you the reports on the Adult Co. research.

From what Adult Co. scientists could gather, the cornerstone Gem technology is based on light and the gems all of the, uh, Gems have on their bodies. Light passes through focusing crystals and is refracted and focused into solid objects or energy. Light goes in, effect comes out. The in-between process is still fuzzy, and a lot of it goes over your head, but what you do understand is that unless you have a gem, a lot of these unusual devices won't respond at all.

In other words, you have a giant metal hand taking up space in the garage. You're at a loss on how to get over the little speed bump of not having a gem to interface with the warship when Hank taps you on the shoulder.

"Mister Father, sir? With a little retooling, I think I could get that thing to work."

"How do you expect to do that?"

The next month, you see the warship floating in the hangar, in a much better state than the wreck the gems left behind in Canada. Exotic crystal armor that had been lost during "recovery" was replaced with the firm plating of an iron fist. The exotic power source that used to keep the ship up could not be salvaged. Instead, the vessel is being powered by a massive, high-octane autogas engine you'd expect to see on a truck going down the highway. Test runs with the new propane tanks have been an overwhelming and very unexpected success.

You crack open a cold one with Hank to celebrate.

"Yep," he says.

"YEP," you reply.

Reward: Gem technology principles understood. New actions unlocked.

The Gem warship is back online with a propane power source.


-[X] Look into Artifacts
DC Variable
1d100 = 25 + 15 = 40
Success!

It happened at an auction, and it involved a very, very annoying young man, a neat looking helmet and a split moment decision. It all began as you and Hex were walking about, getting to know one another, and you thought what better choice then to touch base then go looking for those gosh darn magic artifacts? If this Hex fella was the real deal, he'd point out all the good ones. So you went boutiquing, a favored pastime of yours. Time passed, and the dynamic duo of yourself, a shadowy figure silhouette, and skull-faced man in robes eventually found a shady, back alley auction! Most of it was junk, like weird talismans or giant bananas, but the moment the helm was brought out, both you and Hex could feel something… off about it.

And so did a spiky-red-haired, weird little clown boy. Screeching like a chimpanzee, he waved a colossal bundle of cash. But he made a certain mistake: He decided he was going to push past you. Wrong choice. Already intrigued, and now actively agitated, you match his bid, and raise it. He turns to face you, ready to insult you to your face, but one ominous glare from you and Hex makes him shut up. He attempts to outbid you, but with little success, and by the end of it, you walk away with the artifact. The boy, however, makes one final mistake. He confronts you after the auction, just as you were messing around with and putting it on your head.

"Listen, geezer! Let me spell it out for you! I'm kinda a big deal, right? Boy genius and all, maybe you heard of me."

"Nope." You look at Hex, and he looks at the boy.

"Certainly not."

That hits the red-head's ego like a nail into a tricycle wheel.

"Well… Whatever! Why do you even want the Helmet of Jong anyways?"

"The Helmet of What?"
"The Helmet of Jong!"

"The Helmet of Jonggghhh! You clutch your head! "WHY CAN I loook BACKWARDS?!?"

Suddenly, your vision had doubled; but not in the way that an ice cream headache would cause. It was almost like you had just grown a set of eyes in the back of your head! The boy erupted into laughter at your plight. Thankfully, Hex took offense on your behalf.

"Stifle your laughter, child."

"Oh yeah, bonehead? Well, why don't we do a little wager? I challenge you to a--"

"Enough."

Before the boy could even draw his staff, Hex had produced his own. With but a simple sweep of the gnarled wood, a gale-force slammed into the impudent little worm, knocking him flat on his behind.

"Hey, you can't just interrupt--"
"I'll interrupt you as much as I like. Your words are as worthless as you are."

Before the punk could scramble to his feet, the winds began to pick up, tossing him around like an emo rag-doll, earning a delightfully terrified and particularly pathetic scream, before carrying him off into the distance. Giving a stiff nod, Hex turned around, before plucking the helm off your head.

"Strange. I wonder whose lap dog that was."

"Gah! WHO EVER it was, they better NOT try it again."

Rising back up to your feet, Hex hands you back the helmet. Weird thing that it was. It's neat, sure, but why on Earth would anybody want to fight over something like this?

Reward: New magic item! It can be equipped to heroes and studied with future actions.

Helmet of Jong (MYTHIC): +3 to opposed Martial rolls when being attacked by a sneaky enemy.


PERSONAL ACTIONS

FATHER

-[X] Call the Moonbase
(79)

Finally. FINALLY. You got somebody else besides that annoying man-cat-moron! You wait… And you wait. And finally… Click.

"Moltar Productions, head of security speaking. State your business."

Numbuh 362. That big brat sitting on the big throne of the KND. And here she was, sounding… Well, more depressed than usual.

"Well, well, well. Numbuh 362. I am most disappointed. Here I thought you were the only brat capable of picking up a phone. But you KND do find new ways to earn my Ire."

"Sir, is there a reason you have called me? All death threats, terrorist invoices, ransom demands, and personal attacks should be directed to Moltar Production's public resources depar-"
"What? NO! I HATE those things! I'm calling to see WHY you and your punks haven't even bothered to attack me since you dropped your crummy MOONbase on ME!"

"Sir, as per studio procedures, I am not… Hold on."

The phone line goes silent. When it picks up next, 362 is gone, and the voice is a deepy, booming voice, as smooth and warm as molten lava.

"Yo, this is Moltar speaking. I was wondering what this phone line was for!"

"Moltar? Who the heckfire is that?"

"Uh, me. And you? Wait, are you like these kids' parents?"

"What? No, I'm their enemy!"

"Ahhh, okay, weird. Your line says Father."

"Yes, that's my NAME."

"Your name is Father?"

"YES."

"Who names their kid Father? Somebody with specific expectations?"

"Well, no, I named myself."

"And you named yourself Father? How does that make it better?"

"It… Well, it sounds intimidating!"

"Maybe to fuckin' children, dude."

What a potty mouth.

"Well, obviously."

"...I don't understand what you mean by that."

"Understand what?"

There is an awkward silence that seems to drag out forever. However, you eventually hear some typing.

"What are you doing over there?"

"Shmoogling."

"What?"

"Forget it. Ah, there we- Oh wow."

"What… AGAIN?"

"You said you were Father, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Like, Father who owns a megacorp?"

"Yes."

"Father who fought a whole army of aliens?"

"Correct."

"...Wanna be on my show?"

Reward: Father has been invited to appear on Moltar Coast to Coast!

-[X] Persuade Stickybeard to Stay
(27)
As Father approaches Sitckybeard, you two take some time on the deck to drink a few root beers. You remember the good ol' days, of chasing treasure and stealin' candy from kids. Good times. Stickybeard agrees.

They were good times, weren't they?

Stickybeard takes a long, deep breath, and looks out towards the sea, the asparagus rippling gently below the surface. You looked at him, trying to pierce the candy coated layer of sugar and glazing. For a moment, he almost looks… Eager. Almost anxious. Like he was just about to jump out and start swimming across the sea. A swimmer late to the race desperate to catch up, to catch the thrill of the victory line.

But he turns back to you. He says he will stay a bit longer. For old time's sake.

Reward: Stickybeard will remain a free agent for one more turn.

-[X] Recruit Hex

When the time came, the decision was rather difficult. But, admittedly, extremely neato. Walking into the waiting room, you watched the two wizards floating mid air, arcane power swirling around the room, lashing out and blasting your parlor room apart. Now, sure, that made you mad. But a wizard battle for the ages was pretty spectacular. Not to mention, seeing them both so eager to get the job really made it hard to choose. When it came down to it though, Hex proved at least to be the more cunning of the two, and was also the lower bid. Carefully channeling your anger, Hex managed to use the surge of power to throw Orpheus off his balance, pinning him to the ground. Glowing chains erupted from your throw rug, binding him to the ground.

"Well put, Necromancer." Hex said, looming over Orpheus.

"And you yourself are a challenging opponent indeed, sorcerer. Tell me, do you already have a nemesis?"

"No… That is an odd question."

"Well, if you ever wish to have a foe to oppose, then I think I could provide a rather excellent rival."

"I… Cannot claim to understand your suggestion."

"Here, my card."

Flicking his head, a small tendril of magic slipped into his coat and produced a card for both you and Hex.

"Well, I Can tell a wizard duel winner when I see one. Hex, you're hired. Mr. Orpheus… Uh, I guess I could talk about renting an apartment for you." You said, shaking Hex's hand.

"Delightful."

Hank
-[X] Go Selling
(85)
Hank does what Hank does best. While it isn't exactly propane, he is more than competent and agreeable enough to sell Adult Co. products and Adult Co. product accessories. While many see the obvious value of giant robots and lasers, not many see the value of paperwork, coffee, and pens. Hank does a wonder to change that perception, and soon, more than a few companies have begun to order paper supplies directly from Adult Co. You are very happy to hear this.

Reward: Adult Co. products go up in sales, and stronger connections to those who buy your product.

Tolienator
-[X] Deal with Numbuh 13
(46)
Tolienator begins another chase with Numbuh 13, and Numbuh 13 causes more trouble. Watching from your office window, you see Tolienator stumble about, shooting toilet paper, throwing toilet cakes, and generally being a disgusting mess. Tolienator eventually does chase out Numbuh 13, but you are certain that's not the last you'll see of him.

Reward: Numbuh 13 is someone else's problem for the time being.

Izzy
-[X] Create Podcast
(56)

"Getting Dizzy with Izzy" hits the air-waves this weekend, a live production crewed by Total Drama's most popular deranged lunatic, Izzy! At least, that's how Izzy is pitching it. She had tried to call it the Izzy Iz-perience, but she changed her mind last minute. Perhaps it had something to do with the guest, who in this case, seemed to be a straight up ghost. For real. Pale white, floating, revolutionary era clothing, had a weird accent and ghost cat and everything. Mudsy or something, like some sort of funky phantom. Either way, Izzy seemed to get a kick out of it, and all it cost her was a trip to some random clock tower.

"So, tell me, Mr Funky Phantom: What's it like being dead?"

"Oh, it's terrible, just terrible! I'm all pale, and ghostly, and intangible even!"

"I can imagine why that would suck."
"Oh, you don't even know the half of it! And the half you do, well, yeah, its really awful, it really is!"

"I see. And the ghost cat? Was he a revolutionary as well?"

"Well, of course, obviously, who else was going to hunt British mice even, hm?"

"Ooh, right, duh! Izzy moment there! So, why not tell us a bit about the whole 'Revolutionary War' thing! Seems interesting enough!"

"Oh, of course! It was a cold, cold, wet and windy night in valley forge, and let me tell you, it was so cold, you could freeze a fire! Now, me and snagglepuss were deep behind enemy lines…

Well, there wasn't too much to be learned, but it was entertaining. Plus, you got to learn ghosts were real! That's…. Mildly disturbing!

Reward: +2 to Izzy Occult.

 

[nicholasm10]

I guess we just have a giant iron fist to use to enforce our will now....




And now we have a basic look at what it looks like! I had to bootleg the generator from one of the background shots of the show, in the barn, so its a little (a lot) rough, but hey, who cares

 

[Tlax]

-[X] Research Gem Technology
DC 75 (CF 3% CS 7%)
1d100 = 98 + 19 + 19 + 2 = 138
Critical Success!

Click to shrink...

Now that's a clean burning warship, I tell you hwhat.

Jasper: "Forward soldiers! Conquer this world in the name of the Diamonds!"

*Father, Izzy, and hundreds of U.S Marines appear*

Jasper: "Aw stars-"

Click to shrink...

 

[Tlax]

-[X] Continue to Fight Gems
DC 95 (CF 2% CS 8%)
1d100 = 63 + 37 + 25 + 5 + 2 = 132
Success!

??? INTERRUPT ACTION!
-[ ] Halt the Human Counterattack!
1d100 = 43 + 34 + 5 + 17 +3 = 102
Failure!

Click to shrink...

Spoiler

 

[Tlax]

No
Just stop, can we please do a non-gem related martial?

Click to shrink...

I agree with my fleshy friend over here. There's like a million other better things we could be paying attention to, rather than this silly obsession.

Spoiler