Interlude: Utah and Ari
Tired eyes cracked open and looked around in clear confusion. This wasn't where she was supposed to be. In fact, she didn't know where she
was. The bed was comfortable, but it wasn't
her hull. Her hull was gone. And it wasn't a hammock strung across a dock either, so she hadn't fallen asleep instead of working. At least not where she had been supposed to fall asleep.
So how...
"Mom? Are you okay?"
Grey eyes refocused, as Utah stared at her daughter. Arizona.
"Ari? Why---how did I--"
A gentle smile cut Utah off, as Ari's gloved hand reached down and brushed some hair from her face. "You needed to rest, Mom. I had Captain Jackson help me bring you here!"
"More like drag you." A much rougher voice, like sandpaper over her ears, echoed from behind Arizona. Utah knew that voice by heart. "Goddamnit, woman, did you
have to work yourself to passing out? I had to fish you out of the water."
After giving her mother an apologetic smile, Ari moved aside to let Joe Jackson step forward. The old engineer, scarred face twisted into an annoyed frown, took her seat. His eyes bore into Utah's soul...until the battleship couldn't bear to look any longer. She turned her gaze away from her beloved engineer and captain, refusing to look at him. She was afraid of what she'd see.
She was afraid of what
he would see in her. She still heard the voice crying for blood in the back of her head.
"Arizona, you mind leavin us alone?" Jackson's gruff voice echoed in the silent room.
Ari probably wanted to protest. But she only nodded and left the room, leaving Utah and her Captain alone. The very last position that the old battleship wanted to be in.
"Why did you bring me here?" Utah was the first to speak. She still couldn't look Jackson in the eyes, and her words were more bitter than she intended.
Jackson just snorted. "Do you
really have to ask that question, Utah? Don't ya know me better than that?"
Perhaps it was just guilt. Perhaps it was wanting to know that Jackson hadn't stopped caring about her. Perhaps she was just
tired. But, no matter the reason, Utah could only laugh humorlessly and turn shining eyes on her Captain.
She made no effort to wipe her tears away.
"You don't know me as well as you think." Utah's voice cracked. And she hung her head, lank gray hair falling in front of her newly-scarred face. Those flames had hurt her more than she wanted to admit. "Cap...
Joseph. I lost myself out there. I murdered our own pilots."
Her Captain nodded, "You did. Willing to be more than a few flyboys hate you now."
If that wasn't rubbing salt in a very raw wound, nothing else was. Utah winced and slumped her shoulders yet further, unwilling to think about that. How many men and their families did hate her now? How many best friends, sons, husbands...
"But that's a fact of life in the Navy. Flyboys, especially
Army flyboys, hate us anyway." Jackson's voice, for a rare change, was filled with amusement. He even laughed.
And laughed some more, when Utah's head snapped up and stared at him like he was a Martian.
"Come on, Utah, they're Army and we're Navy. We're supposed to hate each other."
Utah could only gape at the man, "Wha..."
Perhaps that was what he had been trying to do. As Utah's exhaustion fogged mind caught up with itself, she realized that. He had been purposely trying to get her mind off what she had done. And the worst of it was, he had succeeded. If nothing else, in making Utah think about something other than her ever present guilt. Or the anger that lurked beneath the surface.
That scared her more than anything to do with the flyboys. That she had lost herself and that, if it weren't for that, she'd be dead and a rusting hulk.
She owed her existence to anger she couldn't control.
"Look, Utah," Jackson got up from his chair, and sat down on the edge of her bed instead. His hand reached out to grasp her own. Jackson's calloused grip enveloped Utah's small hand and squeezed it tightly. "You're worrying too much. Even if someone hates you, fuck 'em. You're not at fault here."
"I'm a warship," Utah's voice was tiny and weak. "I'm supposed to protect. Not kill my own countrymen!" Tears freely rolling down her face now, Utah looked up at Jackson. Her grey eyes were misting over and she could barely see him out of them. "Why can't I try to make up for that by saving everyone I can?"
That was the crux of the matter. Utah wanted to save everyone she could. And as light from the smoke-clogged porthole illuminated the room she was in, it only served to remind her that
more work was needed. Ari had told her that. She had to do what she could, no matter what it was.
"For the love of..."
That same light illuminated Joe Jackson's scarred face, as the aging man leaned forward. His lips brushed against Utah's cheek.
I--I--wh--
Utah didn't know how to react. She froze.
Her Captain just pulled back, and stared at her with a hard expression. He wasn't joking around at all anymore, was he? Jackson's voice was barely above a growl when he spoke again, "Utah, for once in your life, let someone help
you. We're doing everything we can to get those men out, and killing yourself ain't going to help them."
The battleship opened her mouth to refute that...and only succeeded in having Jackson glare at her.
"We need you, believe it or not. You're the only ship like this, and who even knows how the hell you did it." Jackson clenched Utah's hand tightly, reminding her that- for better or worse- she was
alive. "We can't lose you now, and you know that. So for the love of God, just stay in this bed and rest. Let the rescue teams do their jobs, and when that Admiral gets back, knock your heads together and figure out how this happened. Got it?"
It was a rare day when Jackson actually acted the Captainly role. Utah couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips to see him doing that.
"Yes sir."
This time, it was Utah who leaned forward and captured her Captain's lips. It was a chaste kiss.
But a kiss nonetheless.
With a small smile crossing her own face, Ari pulled her cap down and limped away from the room. Her Mother needed a man like that in her life. Someone who truly cared about her, despite what she was. She could only hope that nothing happened to Jackson, or it may break her mother.
"Hey, Ari."
On a related note...
"Tommy!" Ari hobbled up to the man who had given her a new lease on life.
The Marine was clutching a duffel bag over his shoulder, however, it did nothing to dim his smile. "Feeling any better? I know that the Sarge said it'll be awhile before you're fit to head to San Diego."
Ari couldn't help a wince, though it didn't compromise her own smile. She still walked with a limp from that torpedo and bomb hit along her flank during the attack. But she wasn't at any danger of sinking and it would only be a couple more weeks of makeshift repairs before she returned to the West Coast for a more complete reconstruction. Just like all the other Standards. Except...for poor, poor Cali.
"I'm better!" Arizona hardly let that keep her down, though. Not around this Marine. "The repair crews really know what they're doing. Everything is getting better, even my leg."
As if to demonstrate this, Ari stuck said leg out. Tommy valiantly fought to not look down, his honor warring with his Marine nature.
The Marine side won.
"Good to know," forcing down a slight flush, Tommy turned his eyes back on Ari. His free hand scratched at his fuzzy chin, as he looked at the girl.
Returning the glance, Ari smiled at him, "How are you doing? Are you leaving?"
Her smile did crack, a tad, at that idea. Tommy had given her a new motivation in her life and taught her a very important lesson. That everyone could help in their own way. Even if she couldn't leave her hull, she could still help her Marines and her Captain and her Admiral.
"Yeah," unfortunately, that didn't change Tommy's answer. The Marine rubbed at his bandaged face, the gash he had earned during the attack still healing. It didn't dim his own grin though. "Command decided to reassign me to the Raider Battalion. I'll be back with my buddies from basic. You'd like them, even if Frank would probably want to get in your skirt."
"He's a Marine. That's all they think about."
Ari spoke with such solemn grace and poise, placing her hand on her hip and staring up at Tommy with serious eyes, that the Marine actually stepped back. Before a smile crossed his face. And a laugh escaped Ari's lips.
"You ain't wrong about that," Tommy's grin widened a bit when he confirmed that.
"Of course not." While Ari just grinned back, completely at ease with this man. "Come on! If you're leaving, we should have some fun while you're still here!"
If Tommy was going to be leaving, though, she was going to spend every bit of time she could with him. Who knew when she would see the Marine again, after all!
Double post go!
Also, setting things up for later. You know how that goes.