I am starting to suspect that we're not all starting from the same basic understanding of Li Suyin which is complicating our discussion unnecessarily.
What we know of her is this: she has admitted, several times, that she's wanted to leave the Mountain/ doesn't want to be here/would have been happy with a much less stressful occupation (scribe, physician's assistant). She's also sold herself short several times (it essentially took her two weeks to break through not several months, she had a foot art mastered when she claimed she hadn't mastered any arts, she may have been the one to prepare the argent pills) so this might be more of the same, it's always hard to get at essential character of a person when the person doing the describing is not reliable. She's also appeared to be really naive, seeming to take for granted that general decency of cultivators even when given evidence to the contrary.
This changed after the events of the Thunderdome though, except for one moment where she told us 'if it weren't for you, maybe I'd have given up' and the general assumption was: oh, wonderful, she's grown a spine. But the reality is, traumatic events rarely adds much except for scars. It's why we're so worried that she might have started beating people up and stripping them down to their underwear despite this streak of aggression not really manifesting itself in her interactions with us (even when fighting Huang Da she seemed more distraught than anything else).
Earlier I said I thought she might have an inferiority complex. I don't like diagnosing characters because a) they're not real, b) diagnoses should be carried out by professionals, c) most QMs do not come up with characters and start assigning them complexes so there's a lot going against it.
Nevertheless, here's what an inferiority complex is according to wikipedia:
An inferiority complex is a lack of self-worth, a doubt and uncertainty about oneself, and feelings of not measuring up to standards. It is often subconscious, and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extremely asocial behavior.
Causes
An inferiority complex occurs when the feelings of inferiority are intensified in the individual through discouragement or failure. Those who are at risk for developing a complex include people who: show signs of low self-esteem or self-worth, have low socioeconomic status, or have a history of depression symptoms. Children reared in households where they were constantly criticized or did not live up to parents' expectations may also develop an inferiority complex. Many times there are warning signs to someone who may be more prone to developing an inferiority complex.
Does Li Suyin have an actual diagnosable Inferiority Complex? Difficult question to answer. Especially since I'm not sure 'inferiority complex' actually made it into the DSM but that's neither here nor there.
What I do think is true is that she
feels inferior.
She's not rich enough, she's not talented enough, she's not strong enough, she's not powerful enough, she can't win the archive pass, she can't get rid of Huang Da on her own, she can't heal people (enough), she can't protect her friends, she can't defend her home, she can't - can't - can't -
can't and it's overwhelming. Probably the only thing she can take pride in is her intellect, but on the Mountain, it isn't enough.
Hell, she thinks she's so worthless that even though she got a prize from Professor Su for being ONE OF THE BEST THIS WEEK she still thought she'd be kicked out for not cultivating hard enough. Even her mortal goals are modest: she doesn't want to be a physician, just their assistant, doesn't want to be a bureaucrat like her father, just a scribe.
Again, I don't want to diagnose but it's reaaaaal difficult here. Gu Xiulan is probably not wrong in suspecting she's a d
ead weight, Li Suyin is not the sort of person who will make it far on her own, every time she stands up she punches herself in the face.
According Adlerian Psychology (which is apparently only one step removed from Freudian psychology and in my mind therefore quite suspect)
A secondary inferiority feeling relates to an adult's experience of being unable to reach a subconscious, reassuring fictional final goal of subjective security and success to compensate for the inferiority feelings. The perceived distance from that reassuring goal would lead to a negative/depressed feeling that could then prompt the recall of the original inferiority feeling; this composite of inferiority feelings could be experienced as overwhelming. The reassuring goal invented to relieve the original, primary feeling of inferiority which actually causes the secondary feeling of inferiority is the "catch-22" of this dilemma, where the desperate attempt to obtain therapeutic reassurance and delivery from a depressing feeling of inferiority and worthlessness repeatedly fails. This vicious cycle is common in neurotic lifestyles.
Li Suyin probably has a goal and it's likely unrealistic. We unfortunately don't know what that goal is. We know that one of her current goals is 'beat up girl who beat me up'. I doubt that it'd relieve her feeling of 'I'm not good enough' though, at most it'd be a band-aid. She probably has an absurdly idealized image of what a Cultivator should be like and the pressure of that image and being unable to correspond to it is making her feel like she's not worthy.
Alternatively, and here we are getting into very murky waters, I think that given her focus on physical cultivation after she met us, her reassuring fictional goal might actually have been conflated with Ling Qi who is... ironically, probably one of the most noble cultivators on the mountain. 'If I can be as strong as Ling Qi, if I can be as good as Ling Qi, if I can be as powerful as Ling Qi...'
It's why she was so happy to help us - because helping us helps push away that feeling that she isn't matching up, that she isn't good enough because here she is equal to
us.
But, again, speculation.
What we know is that even when things are going relatively well for her she feels inferior, acts like she's not worthy and puts huge amounts of pressure on herself without giving herself any outlet. I don't know what the solution is, or if there even is a solution, but I'd personally feel cheated if something that's been so strongly hinted at and characterized were 'solved' in a few actions. Some things you just have to live with.
However, if my speculation is correct, then what Li Suyin needs to see is Ling Qi relaxing more and working less. To see her as less than perfect. In her mind we have basically made time for her every week for the past few months. She probably doesn't see that as 'friendship time' just 'tutoring'. We, on the other hand, grew up on the streets alone so for Ling Qi this is omg social contact I am so gud at socializing wow i am amazeballs at myself good going ling qi.
I'm probably wrong here on some or several counts, but this is my current understanding of Li Suyin.
