Ling Nuan felt like she could crawl out of her own skin.
"Are you certain you do not wish for your companion to dine with us too?" Ling Qingge asked politely.
"Yeah, this is a family dinner. That guy's a good friend, but he's not kin," Ling Nuan said, a tight hold on the electric impulses traveling through her nerves stopped her foot from even beginning to tap under the table.
"I would not object to an exception if you would prefer."
They were gathered for their meal in the governor's manor. Ling Nuan still couldn't quite wrap her head around that, the fact that the Ling clan was just straight up housed there rather than in one of the inner district houses being built or carved into the cliffside. She'd thought it was a courtesy maybe, on first pass. The Boss let her subordinates enjoy the full security until all the wards and defenses were up but… No
Obviously, the heir of the province wouldn't be here long long term, but was the Ling clan really being set up so obviously? She'd expect to see some resentment from the Cai's other retainers there.
Well, Ling Qi hadn't said anything either, so maybe she was just missing something. The others didn't seem to have households after all, so she was probably just overthinking things.
"We don't need that soggy guy," Hanyi sniffed.
"No Puppy…?"
She glanced at the little girl in the seat right beside Ling Qingge, set on a boosted seat to see over the table. "...Qiu's not good with dining rooms either. Maybe you can see him out in the garden?"
She shot the older woman a look. Was she overstepping there?
"That would be acceptable," Ling Qingge said. "A garden viewing after dinner would be fine."
Well, that was good. "Thanks for inviting me, by the way. You didn't have to…"
"You are a member of the Ling clan. You are always invited, when your deployment allows you to be… home."
She hesitated there herself, and Ling Nuan sighed. Her knee-jerk reaction was to take it as a stumble toward naming her family, but she could see it wasn't. Ling Qingge was…. Just as unsure about where they stood as she was.
And so they did this little dance, 'cause it'd be rude to blurt it out directly.
It was kind of a relief when the lady with the food came in, even if Ling Nuan still wasn't exactly used to the idea of having staff like that either. Subordinates in the sect military were more comfortable. She had no idea how to even talk to the Ling 'household'.
So she clammed up and tried to look serious and poised without being threatening. That was what a good noble was supposed to be like, right?
The dishes did smell good, roasted and glazed fish were the main course, and there was a warm crusty sort of barley bread with it, familiar enough to a kid from the southern hills, with a scattering of sides and spreads. It was… pretty rustic still. She knew plenty of faces around the Sect that would probably sneer at the offerings.
For her, it just let her relax a bit, even as she gave the brat Hanyi a side-eye. "...Do you actually eat?"
"The heat is nice, and I can taste stuff. The effort from the cook is good too," Hanyi said, brightly, greedily slathering a slice of her bread in a spicy spread. "I used to think it was pointless but it isn't bad!"
"If only my daughter could be convinced of the same," Ling Qingge said wryly.
"Big Sis is just busy," Hanyi said, absently. "She still likes it when you make those bun things with the plums though."
"...I see," Ling Qingge said, she did a good job of faking it, but to Ling Nuan, it sure looked like that was news to her.
But someone like Ling Qi couldn't miss telling their own mother they liked a particular dish…
Right?
Was that something she should point out? She had no idea. She picked at her dish instead. "Compliments. I don't recognize the fish. Something local?"
"Oh yes, I don't quite know them all, but the cooks are trying some new things with the catches. I am told it is exciting to work with new materials?" Ling Qingge said.
"I think I get that," Ling Nuan said, savoring a bite. It was pretty rich, the sauce went with it well, she thought. Wasn't like she was a gourmand though.
"Fishies are tasty," Ling Biyu asserted, a smear of sauce across her cheek, and a mouth full of half-chewed fish.
"You should try to keep it all in your mouth then squirt," Ling Nuan said, unthinking.
"Biyu, mouth closed until you're finished chewing," Ling Qingge scolded, immediately turning to fuss over the young girl and clean her up.
…Yeah, nothing like she'd think of a noble family dinner at all.
***
Listening to Qiu bark like mad, his tail wagging so fast it blurred while a little girl giggled and chased him around the garden pond wasn't a half-bad way to end the night.
You let her catch you sometime soon yeah. Don't want her to get discouraged.
Qiu-good-boy-knows!
"I do hope all of this has not been too much of an imposition. I know your time away from deployment is limited."
Ling Nuan tilted her head, looking up at Ling Qingge from where she was, slouched over, elbows resting on the rail of the balcony that overlooked the mist-filled garden. The older woman stood back a bit even now, making space between them, standing by the door with one eye on the garden and her younger daughter. It was well into evening now and most of the light came from the stone lanterns placed along the garden paths, and from the half-open door behind her.
"...Look, Madam, er… look can I just call you by name?" She asked, pushing herself up. Screw it. She didn't dance that dance well enough.
"I don't see why not," Ling Qingge said. She glanced to the side as a happy squeal echoed through the garden, mingling with playful barks. Biyu's hair frizzed up, rising on the harmless static from Qiu's fur as she rubbed her face against his side.
She eyed Qiu, making sure he understood that he couldn't get too excited and shock her. "I'm happy you're tryin' to make me feel welcome, alright? Don't doubt that. I just have no idea what I'm supposed to do with it."
Blunt and to the point, it was a relief to just say it. "I'm not your daughter, and it'd be weird to act like I was, but… yeah. A cousin you're happy to see. That should probably feel like this. Dunno if you've had practice, but you pull off the Auntie feel well, you know?"
And now she was just rambling.
Ling Qingge had gone still, blinking owlishly in the face of her words. "I… thank you. I think. I do not know if I can accept your words… I have hardly been a mother, I do not know that I could call myself an Aunt."
"...You really don't give yourself enough credit," Ling Nuan said, straightening up fully and leaning back against the railing. "I dunno all the details of the past, but from where I'm standing, you're doing better than fine
now. So don't get bent out of shape when I'm awkward about it, right? It's my fault, not yours."
The older woman pursed her lips and then let out a breath, some of the tension going out of her. "...Very well. Then, may I ask how much warning I should give the launders who will be washing Biyu's clothes?"
She sucked in a breath through her teeth, at the hairs from Qiu's coat left clinging to static-y fabric. "...I can probably drain the charge before I go."
The terrible price I extract for my services
