Bai Meizhen's lips tasted sweet, with just the faint tickling prickle of killing venom to give them warmth. Ling Qi clung to her tightly, in the unlit shadows of the home they had shared ever since that bitch had destroyed their first one.
Ling Qi smiled in satisfaction as their lips parted, leaning her cheek into her beloved's stroking hand. They would be together. Bai Meizhen's clan, the only thing that could have torn them apart, had acquiesced. And she had been accepted as worthy enough.
"You're still so much colder," Bai Meizhen mused, nails trailing over her skin.
She sounded sad. She tried so hard to hide it, but Ling Qi knew her Meizhen too well for that. Her smile faded. "..I'm sorry. It… the Sect doctors said that using Master Zeqing's blood like that…"
"Had permanent effects," Bai Meizhen said, looking into her eyes. Pained. Yellow eyes gleamed in the dark, looking at her with distress and concern. "I
told you it would."
Ling Qi felt as if the warmth in her own chest could melt her away.
"I don't regret it at all. If it means we can stay like this, but I am sorry I'm more uncomfortable to hold," Ling Qi murmured.
She supposed they must look silly like this, to an outside observer. She was so much taller than Meizhen, but the other girl indulged her, letting her sit across her lap like this in the soft comfort of her bed, their legs and gowns tangled together. It helped that she weighed little more than the air these days.
Not that anyone would ever see them here, ensconced in Bai Meizhen's bedroom, beneath the canopy of her bed, behind drawn curtains and the most vicious wardings a ducal scions allowance could buy.
"...That is the problem," Meizhen's voice was small, so quiet even she could barely hear it, more a flicker of qi in her throat than a physical sound.
Ling Qi's expression fell. She didn't understand. How could she regret doing what needed to be done, for them to be together? "...I'm sorry."
She didn't know what she was apologizing for, she reached up to cradle Meizhen's cheek but stopped, fingers a hair's breadth from her cheek. Was… was the cold really that awful? Meizhen had always told her it was fine, but had she just been humoring her…?
Or had it really become that much worse? The thought dropped the bottom from her stomach. If touching her was painful now, then… then…
Bai Meizhen caught her hand, and pressed Ling Qi's fingers to her cheek firmly, with uncompromising strength. "No."
"No…?"
Bai Meizhen pinned her under her stare. Ling Qi felt her heart skip a beat, frost spreading across her cheeks in a blush. "...No one will pull you away. You think a little chill will deter me?"
Her smile returned, tentative. "O-oh. I had just…"
"You know how I worry," Bai Meizhen said gently, soothingly. "...You are perfect Ling Qi. You have done so much, and strived so hard for me, for us. I will always repay that."
"I've never doubted that. I just never want to hurt you," Ling Qi denied.
"And you haven't," Bai Meizhen replied, and any further words were lost as their lips came together again.
How could Ling Qi have any regrets, when moments like these would now go on forever?
***
Was it better or worse, she wondered, that she could still lie to Ling Qi, when she truly tried, Bai Meizhen wondered.
Her beloved's lips tasted like frozen dew, still so soft despite the cold, despite the way her skin sometimes felt more like smooth porcelain than flesh, especially where the cracks in her cheeks had so recently healed.
In truth, if she were not who she was, a white serpent, a cultivator of the third realm… the cold would have been painful. A frozen chill that would tear a mortal's skin away if they were so foolish as to touch the source. That she was unbothered by this was not the lie.
Looking into her love's dark eyes, and seeing no comprehension as to why there might be any other reason to regret the harm she had taken…
It felt like the edge of a knife, slid exquisitely under her skin. She had done this, her love had done this. The worst thing… was that she couldn't fully regret it, not with these lips parted over hers, not with Qi's hair tickling her cheeks, not with her love's body pressed into her own, no matter how cold.
She had done this. She would accept the responsibility for it. That weight was hers to bear.
…And she still loved Qi so much. For all the pain, there was a part of her as exultant as Qi was. It was…. Everything she had ever wanted, wasn't it? Someone who looked at her, only her, with such loving eyes… Her first friend, her only friend, the hand that had first reached out to her in kindness. If Ling Qi wished to make herself Meizhen's Yao…
She would become the white serpent she deserved. She would crush her rivals, break her cousin's schemes under her heel. She would become so terrible that none would dare plot against her love.
She did not have time. The likelihood of Sun retaliation was too high. She was being recalled to the Lakes, and Qi with her. Her cousins, those scheming
brats, would be circling to tear her down, to destroy her. Ling Qi would be her obvious weakness. She was only thankful that her Aunt had informed her she would be under her tutelage for the next few years. She did not have the luxury of slowing down.
No one. Nothing would take Qi away from her.
This she swore to herself, on her pride and her heritage as a daughter of Grandmother Serpent. She would be as merciless as the killing waters, as Grandmother herself.
She let out a warm breath, feeling the frost on Qi's cheeks warm and melt, tickling at her cupping palm as their lips parted.
Ling Qi's eyes were pools of glittering, icy blue. She felt as if she could get lost there, get lost here. If only the world could be in this room alone. But the creeping light of dawn, crawling up the wall in a thin line from beneath her curtain, put the lie to that, piercing the darkness of their little sanctum.
The world would never leave them in peace, and so they would both have to stand strong against it. Together.
"I love you Qi. Thank you so much for loving me."
"I love you Meizhen. Let us be together, until the very end."