As per your solemn duty as Best Dog, you continue your patrol of the streets of Harmuph. You're still trying to make a list of who made it through the Night of the Bad Dogs and who didn't. You were able to wake up Sally and the rest of your human family in time so they could use their hands to move the furniture to block the windows and doors, but apparently some others weren't as lucky. Tunia made it through alright, but you haven't seen the baker boy who would toss you the old pastries when nobody else was looking. Everyone smells a little sad, especially the ones who seem to be buying flowers. Part of you is a bit mad when SHE made it through when others died. Yes, it's a Naughty Girl thought, but you don't know how much longer…
A familiar scent catches your nose. You eagerly, hopefully run back to the stables near the town entrance and YES! Chariot the Wonder Horse is alive! You happily bark at him, and ask him if his humans are alright. And boy, does he have a story to tell!
You had wondered about Lilly, one of Sally's friends, who you hadn't seen in a while. Chariot says that she had run away from the house for an awful long time, and the family was sad for weeks, and put some flowers on the door (Do humans just buy flowers when they are sad?). But then Lilly suddenly came back one day, only she smelled like trees and old dirt. At first, Chariot thought that she had just gone rolling around in the forest, but no, she just smells like that now. And apparently she gives what Chariot calls the Good Pets, that help Chariot understand a bit of what Lilly wants, let him see and hear all around him, and let him run forever. He knows he can run forever, because that's what he ended up doing on the Night of the Bad Dogs.
Lilly took him out for a run towards Harmuph, but then she stopped and lay down on the ground (while the Bad Dogs were howling, why!?), and then a tentacle thing came out of Lilly's chest (do humans give birth to tentacle things?). Chariot was scared, but then Lilly's Good Pets let Chariot know that the tentacle thing was a Hidey Friend, so that was good. They kept on running, and Lilly threw some rocks at the Bad Dogs, and the Hidey Friend poked at them, and Chariot even kicked one in the face! They finally made it to Harmuph after the town humans fought off the Bad Dogs that were chasing them. Then he sat around for a bit, but then Lilly got a bunch of town humans with horses to follow them back to the house. Lilly was somehow to give EVERYONE the Good Pets, even without touching them, and they beat up all the Bad Dogs they ran into! Then Lilly went with Chariot and some other humans into the forest, but then Chariot saw some Bad Dogs, a few Bad Horned Horses, and a Big Bad Brown Predator! Chariot was too scared and ran away, and he was almost heartbroken when he saw the town humans carry her out, but she was apparently just sleeping, so they brought her into the house and she didn't come out for two whole days.
Then Lilly woke up yesterday, but Chariot thinks something bad happened. A Big Horse showed up with a bunch of regular horses and some humans, and one of the humans looked like they were going to give Lilly a present for beating up all the Bad Dogs, but the human grabbed her instead and started dragging her while she was screaming. It looked like she was about to leave with the Big Horse, but then the town humans pulled out their metal pointers at the Big Horse humans, and the Big Horse humans ran away. One of the humans gave Lilly a flower, but it must have been a Mad Flower instead of a Sad Flower, because Lilly threw it on the ground and stomped on it. Chariot thinks Lilly is scared that the Big Horse will come back someday and get its humans to carry her away.
…You take all this in and try to consider it. Chariot can get details wrong sometimes, but he generally doesn't intentionally lie. This Lilly might be in trouble, or at the very least will require further investigation. You thank Chariot for the news, give a sniff to his saddle to get Lilly's scent, and then make your way back into the streets. Sure enough, you follow the scent of oak and earth and find a familiar half-sized little girl, who seems to be looking around for something. Now, should you watch from afar? No, the best way to determine a human's character is obvious: you go right up to them and ask for pets. Good humans always pet Good Dogs, it is a fundamental rule of the world.
You had hoped to sneak up close to her, but she turns toward you right away as you approach. "Oh, you're Sarah's dog, aren't you?" She reaches down to scratch you behind the ears, and then you feel the Good Pets Chariot had mentioned. It fills you up, makes you feel awake from nose to tail, and makes all the little aches and pains just melt away. "Now, what was your name, again?"
Why, you're Ruffles, the smartest dog in the world, of course.
Lilly immediately stops, pulls her hand back, and stares at you for a few seconds. "Did.." She glances left and right to see if anyone was watching. "Did you just talk?"
…Wait, did this human just understand you? Have you finally found someone who is not just human-smart, but Ruffles-smart?
No, no, that's just silly. Nobody's Ruffles-smart but Ruffles; it's a lonely position at the top, but such is the dignity and duty of being the Best Dog. Lilly might have a few tricks, but I doubt she's capable of even being a contender for Sarah's position of Best Human.
"This can't be happening. Why does this keep happening to me?"
See, this Lilly-girl's already getting confused about what is or isn't happening. But this opens up so many possibilities. You could tell her where to scratch your itches, you can get her to buy the pig's ears from the butcher instead of trying to root through the trash, you could warn somebody about Death-Smelling Girl, you could explain to Sarah how to mark her territory-
"Wait, Death-Smelling Girl?"
Oh My Dog, yes! Someone needs to be told about Death-Smelling Girl. She's a bit taller than Lilly, not Sarah, not Tunia, dang it, what's the human sound for her?
"…Myah?"
Yes, Myah! Oh, how do people not smell her for what she is? She gives the Bad Pets! No, not like the pets that human babies give when they brush the fur the wrong way, you mean the Bad Pets that make everyone sleepy and icky. Myah tried to give Bad Pets to you once, but then you wriggled out of her grasp and barked at her, and then Myah started crying. You've seen her give Bad Pets to the humans who sleep outside at night. You also followed her into the woods where she found a squirrel caught in a snare and gave it the Bad Pets until it stopped moving and then it started moving again but gave off a foul odor. Then Myah screamed and smashed it with a rock and buried it, and then she started crying again. You've tried barking whenever she shows up, but Sarah doesn't understand and tells you to be quiet. You've thought about maybe biting her, but then that would put you in range of the Bad Pets! You don't know what to do!
"…I…might be able to help with that. I want to talk to Myah, and see if I can stop her from…giving Bad Pets anymore. Could you help me find her?"
…Oh. Oh, of course. Lilly can use her Good Pets to cancel out the Bad Pets, and then Myah can just give regular pets that are good enough for anyone. But wait, I thought Lilly's Good Pets allowed her to see everywhere.
"…How did you know about that?"
You had talked to Chariot, of course. He had quite the story about you.
"You can talk to…You know what, I can't digest this right now. My…abilities aren't the best at finding an individual that I haven't connected with. I can tell that there are 5 people and a few mice in this house we're standing in front of, but I can't pick out who is who at a glance. Could you possibly get Myah's scent and find out where she is?"
…See, this is why humans are always left behind in these matters: nothing replaces a good nose. Well, now the plan is clear! You shall lead this Lilly to Myah and they will be able work together to stop the Plague of Bad Pets! Soon, this will be another successful mission completed by Ruffles, Best Dog!