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Battle Action Harem Highschool Side Character Quest (No SV, you are the Waifu)

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Interested Party said:
Y'know all the stuff that already lives on Australia? Do you really want to know what they live on in this context?
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Ah, it's not that bad. The water-bound ones probably moved to another sea, anyway, and are possibly embroiled in a turf war with the closest Antagonist force. The land ones...unless they're birds, or hitched a ride on a ship, I'm not seeing them surviving.
 
Quest said:
Then what's Australia?:confused:
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An ancient, giant crocodile.
The two will fight at the end of the world.
(The two lizards are about the same size-most of Australia was already there, the croc just nestled up to it to deter predators)
Mizu said:
Ah, it's not that bad. The water-bound ones probably moved to another sea, anyway, and are possibly embroiled in a turf war with the closest Antagonist force.
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As the alligators will.
Soon.
 
Familiar said:
Ladies and gentlemen, for the purpose of adding to this thread's slow descent into madness, I present to you:

Inside Pan-dora's Box
Anna continued to scan through Durga's software in worried frustration.

Something within Durga's system was eating up processing power, creating a slight delay in Durga's response time. It was minimal, hundredths of a second, but she'd had enough close calls in life to appreciate every ten-thousandth of a second faster she could be. Still finding not even a hint of the resource-sink, she broadened the range of her search.

She paused, having found... something. She followed this something, strangely enough, into the Valkyrie's storage pocket, and froze, as the trail lead to an area she had cordoned off for one thing, not to be touched for the foreseeable future. The source of the processing power drop was The Bread. Cautiously, she peaked into the sub-pocket. All color drained from her face as she perceive what was within. This was... She'd need specialized tools to deal with something of this scale.

Pulling her consciousness out of cyberspace, she leaned back in her seat, contemplating just how to deal with this problem. She thought, and considered, and meditated, and deliberated, and finally inspiration struck. Standing and walking across her room, she scooped up her model car, dropped it into Durga's storage pocket (the main pocket, she wasn't touching the sub-pocket with a ten foot cyber-pole), and went about modifying it to fulfill her current needs.

As she worked, she ruminated on her current predicament. Not only was this a drain on Durga, but apparently the Valkyrie had categorized the ceremonial cutlery specially gifted to her by the Baking club as bread, due to its unique origin as her debut dough, and therefor dropped it into the sub-pocket. She needed to retrieve those as well; after all, it was a very thoughtful gift.

Completing the finishing touches on her model car's new form, she looked on in satisfaction, then frowned as a thought struck her. This may not be enough. Indeed, the problem inside the bread sub-pocket, newly dubbed 'Pan-dora', would likely take much more than this single modified model, no matter how formidable its form. Resolved to take care of the problem in one fell swoop, and rather having overkill than falling short, she headed off to the Cars and Small Scale Models club to gather supplies.

999 additional car models, 400 various animal models, 40 soldier models, one specially-made mini-Durga model, and a room of bewildered club members later, Anna sat in her room finally ready to deal with that which lay within the sinister sub-space. She took a deep breath, strengthened her resolve, and dropped her army into Pan-dora.
Ruptures, seeming gaps in space itself, had always been there; scattered about the world floating high above ground-level since before bread-kind had invented fire. The technology to take advantage of the Impeller waves that continuously emanated from them, however, was very recent. With modern innovation, the ruptures became a source of limitless energy; no longer would bread-kind need to rely on fossil fuels.

But the ruptures apparently decided that another gift was in order.

The first rupture to give was the one above Chapati. Their arrival was announced by a rain of ammunition and lasers. Despite their mundane appearances, that of simple vehicles and various quadrupedal creatures, our weaponry and defenses were like pea-shooters and tissue paper to them. Lives were lost by the millions as what we dubbed 'Adversaries' poured over the continent, hunting us with genocidal fervor. When they started pouring out of the other ruptures, first above Rugbrød, then Melonpan, then Tortilla, we started to give up hope. The only silver lining we had was that any sense of antagonism between the various nations was shattered under the weight of our imminent extinction.

Then, a gift from God; the Cutlery was found. Finally we had a weapon capable of fighting the Adversaries on equal footing, better even. The Cutlery cut them down in droves, wielded by a young bread from Zwieback. But it wasn't enough; he was only a single protector. They were pouring through the ruptures faster than he was killing them. So we learned how to make more Cutlery.

The method to create one was monstrous; we were forced to used our deceased as the base components. But we had no choice; the only alternative was utter annihilation. So we became monsters to save ourselves. Besides, it's not like we were lacking in dead to utilize; the Adversaries saw to that. Finally the world population slowed in its drastic plummet, stymied by our new protectors, wielders of Cutlery, now many in number, though not as skilled as the original.

And bread-kind finally had the chance to push back.
As the war dragged on, we only improved in our new craft. We formalized the training of Cutlery wielders, creating schools dedicated to raising the next generation of protectors, which in turn brought about marked improvement in our situation. first the war slowly crawled to a standstill. Then we started gaining ground. For the first time since the start of the war, we were winning. Or so we thought.

The first 'Bipedal' Adversary flattened our forces like a wrought iron rolling pin. The replicated Cutlery didn't stand a ghost of a chance. Before the wielder of the first Cutlery arrived, hundreds of our protectors fell just to delay it. When he did arrive, a battle the likes we'd never seen before commenced. It took everything he had, and then some, but the Bipedal finally lay dead at his feet. We thought this was the final boss, a one time occurrence, an indicator that the end of our long trial was near. How naive we were, even after all this time at war.

A second came. Then a third, then a tenth, and so on. Each time, the pattern repeated; the replica Cutlery threw themselves in front of it to buy time, the first would arrive and give everything he had and more. Each time, he won. Each time, he sagged a little more, the weariness in his features grew. The fight was taking its toll on him. Everyone who saw him could see it, but he was our only hope.

It descended from the rupture that started it all. Its form, both beautiful and terrible, would have those that witnessed it thinking an angel had fallen. Those thoughts lasted only an instant before it delivered its righteous fury upon any in proximity. He faced it. Despite his exhaustion, despite his war-weariness, he faced what he knew was without a doubt going to be the most difficult battle fought in the history of bread-kind. He faced it with prodigious courage and boundless selflessness. He fought, drawing on every ounce of skill he had earned at the cost of blood, sweat, tears, and innocence. He lost.

With our hero gone, our morale was shattered beyond any hope of repair. Our hope was shattered without any chance of recovery. Our chance was shattered along with the first Cutlery in the strike that took the first wielder's life. In bread-kind's last moments, we regretted tapping into the ruptures. We regretted opening what we had long-since realized was the lid of Pandora's Box.

What we never realized was that we were on the inside.
Anna frowned as she looked at the shattered utensils laying in the palms of her hands. Oh well, it was an easy enough fix. She dropped it back into storage space and Durga, totally lag-free after cleaning up that little incident, went about repairing the cutlery. Now, where to dump the mess left inside the bread sub-pocket?

Moral of the story: Don't leave your bread unattended in an evolution engine.
On a more serious note: The other side is always the evil one.

Breads mentioned in this story:

And having finished writing that, it's 2:30 AM where I'm at, so I'ma go pass out.
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That was brilliant. Fucking brilliant. Somebody get this man another several dozen rates.

Enjou said:
Ah, must have missed that somewhere in the 100 pages since the last update. :p
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All good, all good. *legacysc opens box, recoils from rabid SV-er* You have served my objectives well, Enjou-San *cackles*

NotAKobold said:
An ancient, giant crocodile.
The two will fight at the end of the world.
(The two lizards are about the same size-most of Australia was already there, the croc just nestled up to it to deter predators)

As the alligators will.
Soon.
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Inb4 Florida+Australia vs Type Zero omake.
 
Any or all Type Zeroes against the tag-team of Florida and Australia? I'm gonna bet on Australia and Florida EVERY SINGLE TIME. I'm sorry Avalanche, but A+F is like Skitter from Worm: you either surrender to the team, or die screaming. Coincidentally, both are known for a wide range of life that Skitter would control.
 
Okay. I had a thought, earlier. So, I reread the story for confirmation. Confirmation having been achieved, I then did a search on the thread to see if this has been mentioned before. It doesn't seem so.

As such!

It is my conclusion that Anna doesn't actually use the toilet.

See, it's not uncommon for that to be kinda glossed over in stories. Like, you don't generally say "and then they used exactly 13 squares of toilet paper," and so on. But generally, you have narrative gaps where that could have happened.

With Anna, though, frequently we have large swaths of her day that are told in great detail, with no gap in which she might have used the facilities. And that's more telling than any gaps that are left, because if you can find one day where she doesn't use the bathroom, then obviously she doesn't need to; it doesn't matter If there are other days where she might have but we can't prove it.

So, for example, when she goes into her quarters for the first time and makes the adorable blanket nest? That's fully detailed from start to finish, and she conks out to sleep there without ever using the bathroom- she doesn't even go in to look at it until the following morning, where she has her terrifying encounter with the shower- whereupon she scampers out without, again, leaving any time to use the actual toilet. (And really, given the smart shower and smart tub, I imagine that this bathroom also contains a smart toilet which would be its own brand of terror for her- so it'd definitely be worth a mention)

And the thing is, it's completely believable that this is the case. We know it's been months or even years since she last turned off her impeller field, which prevents things from touching her and vice versa. Expelling waste inside her own force field would... probably be awkward. And extremely messy. But neither would it have been a good idea for her to turn it off, ever, when defending the beleaguered Unknown Canadian Town. Similarly, dealing with a period in a besieged town that probably ran out of tampons and other supplies before she even hit puberty? She pretty much would've had to have Durga taking care of that for her. So why not other wastes as well? Durga can reprocess them, helping keep the water split out for anything that might need hydration, hydrogen, or oxygen. The solid wastes can be consumed for other materials, such as sulphur and the like. Helpful for making more ammunition, or refining other compounds. Waste not want not, after all!

Plus, this gives yet another aspect of her alien, almost inhuman nature. None of her classmates have noticed this, yet- but if she ever goes camping or has a sleepover, they might. It's a neat little thing that I almost didn't think of before I started really looking back... but I like it. Gives a nice touch of 'other' to her! :)
 
armorfiend said:
Okay. I had a thought, earlier. So, I reread the story for confirmation. Confirmation having been achieved, I then did a search on the thread to see if this has been mentioned before. It doesn't seem so.

As such!

It is my conclusion that Anna doesn't actually use the toilet.

See, it's not uncommon for that to be kinda glossed over in stories. Like, you don't generally say "and then they used exactly 13 squares of toilet paper," and so on. But generally, you have narrative gaps where that could have happened.

With Anna, though, frequently we have large swaths of her day that are told in great detail, with no gap in which she might have used the facilities. And that's more telling than any gaps that are left, because if you can find one day where she doesn't use the bathroom, then obviously she doesn't need to; it doesn't matter If there are other days where she might have but we can't prove it.

So, for example, when she goes into her quarters for the first time and makes the adorable blanket nest? That's fully detailed from start to finish, and she conks out to sleep there without ever using the bathroom- she doesn't even go in to look at it until the following morning, where she has her terrifying encounter with the shower- whereupon she scampers out without, again, leaving any time to use the actual toilet. (And really, given the smart shower and smart tub, I imagine that this bathroom also contains a smart toilet which would be its own brand of terror for her- so it'd definitely be worth a mention)

And the thing is, it's completely believable that this is the case. We know it's been months or even years since she last turned off her impeller field, which prevents things from touching her and vice versa. Expelling waste inside her own force field would... probably be awkward. And extremely messy. But neither would it have been a good idea for her to turn it off, ever, when defending the beleaguered Unknown Canadian Town. Similarly, dealing with a period in a besieged town that probably ran out of tampons and other supplies before she even hit puberty? She pretty much would've had to have Durga taking care of that for her. So why not other wastes as well? Durga can reprocess them, helping keep the water split out for anything that might need hydration, hydrogen, or oxygen. The solid wastes can be consumed for other materials, such as sulphur and the like. Helpful for making more ammunition, or refining other compounds. Waste not want not, after all!

Plus, this gives yet another aspect of her alien, almost inhuman nature. None of her classmates have noticed this, yet- but if she ever goes camping or has a sleepover, they might. It's a neat little thing that I almost didn't think of before I started really looking back... but I like it. Gives a nice touch of 'other' to her! :)
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I can believe this. Goodness knows that if I could alter my own biology I'd make it so I could stop having to go to the loo...

Too much? Too much. I'll stop talking now.
 
armorfiend said:
Okay. I had a thought, earlier. So, I reread the story for confirmation. Confirmation having been achieved, I then did a search on the thread to see if this has been mentioned before. It doesn't seem so.

As such!

It is my conclusion that Anna doesn't actually use the toilet.

See, it's not uncommon for that to be kinda glossed over in stories. Like, you don't generally say "and then they used exactly 13 squares of toilet paper," and so on. But generally, you have narrative gaps where that could have happened.

With Anna, though, frequently we have large swaths of her day that are told in great detail, with no gap in which she might have used the facilities. And that's more telling than any gaps that are left, because if you can find one day where she doesn't use the bathroom, then obviously she doesn't need to; it doesn't matter If there are other days where she might have but we can't prove it.

So, for example, when she goes into her quarters for the first time and makes the adorable blanket nest? That's fully detailed from start to finish, and she conks out to sleep there without ever using the bathroom- she doesn't even go in to look at it until the following morning, where she has her terrifying encounter with the shower- whereupon she scampers out without, again, leaving any time to use the actual toilet. (And really, given the smart shower and smart tub, I imagine that this bathroom also contains a smart toilet which would be its own brand of terror for her- so it'd definitely be worth a mention)

And the thing is, it's completely believable that this is the case. We know it's been months or even years since she last turned off her impeller field, which prevents things from touching her and vice versa. Expelling waste inside her own force field would... probably be awkward. And extremely messy. But neither would it have been a good idea for her to turn it off, ever, when defending the beleaguered Unknown Canadian Town. Similarly, dealing with a period in a besieged town that probably ran out of tampons and other supplies before she even hit puberty? She pretty much would've had to have Durga taking care of that for her. So why not other wastes as well? Durga can reprocess them, helping keep the water split out for anything that might need hydration, hydrogen, or oxygen. The solid wastes can be consumed for other materials, such as sulphur and the like. Helpful for making more ammunition, or refining other compounds. Waste not want not, after all!

Plus, this gives yet another aspect of her alien, almost inhuman nature. None of her classmates have noticed this, yet- but if she ever goes camping or has a sleepover, they might. It's a neat little thing that I almost didn't think of before I started really looking back... but I like it. Gives a nice touch of 'other' to her! :)
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I'm impressed and disturbed that you've given this so much thought.

In any case, I think this is a pretty clear sign that @Avalanche needs to push through the editing phase and release the next update. We're kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel here.
 
Sasha said:
I'm impressed and disturbed that you've given this so much thought.

In any case, I think this is a pretty clear sign that @Avalanche needs to push through the editing phase and release the next update. We're kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel here.
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Well, I do like her character, and I enjoy the way the story is written. It just seemed like a natural outgrowth of how she's interacting with Durga, so I figured, fuckit, I hate my job anyway, and rereading stories with WAFF are how I survive it. Let's go through a story I enjoy, with a neat character who is basically a cyborg, and see if she ever goes to the bathroom. Aaaaannnnd, she doesn't.
 
armorfiend said:
Well, I do like her character, and I enjoy the way the story is written. It just seemed like a natural outgrowth of how she's interacting with Durga, so I figured, fuckit, I hate my job anyway, and rereading stories with WAFF are how I survive it. Let's go through a story I enjoy, with a neat character who is basically a cyborg, and see if she ever goes to the bathroom. Aaaaannnnd, she doesn't.
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It'd be actually kind of funny if this was lampshaded in the quest, along with Anna shrinking. Everybody just assumes that it's artistic license, but then it's just off handedly mentioned in a cooldown episode where everybody is having a day out or something, and it turns out that the writers thought of literally everything.
 
armorfiend said:
Well, I do like her character, and I enjoy the way the story is written. It just seemed like a natural outgrowth of how she's interacting with Durga, so I figured, fuckit, I hate my job anyway, and rereading stories with WAFF are how I survive it. Let's go through a story I enjoy, with a neat character who is basically a cyborg, and see if she ever goes to the bathroom. Aaaaannnnd, she doesn't.
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Well, no point hiding it now. I'll also say that no food you have eaten has entered your stomach just to confirm your theory. It was something that was supposed to come up when you visit the Culinary elective class but w/e.
 
It can be brought up whenever we get around to letting medical do a thorough examination of Anna in all her transhuman glorie.
 
Avalanche said:
I'll also say that no food you have eaten has entered your stomach just to confirm your theory
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Umm. So this is interesting.
Note this means we either no longer need to acquire energy for food, thereby necessitating some alternative probably provided by Durga, or Durga simply breaks down the food into energy for us and disposes of waste as well.
And if it is the first we have chewed up food either stuck in Durga or incinerated, I hope for the second.
We so transhuman, so good. I really hope that we are powered by Durga somehow, that would be awesome.
Super symbiote sisters go! (Durga is best big sister, takes care of all possible needs via upgrades!)
 
Avalanche said:
Well, no point hiding it now. I'll also say that no food you have eaten has entered your stomach just to confirm your theory. It was something that was supposed to come up when you visit the Culinary elective class but w/e.
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I love how we're being so off-the-wall with this stuff that we're actually catching plot twists by accident.
 
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... Huh. That makes removing Durga an even worse idea. And considering it was already a ridiculously bad idea...

Do we count as the same person now, is what I'm getting at?
 
Shadlith said:
... Huh. That makes removing Durga an even worse idea. And considering it was already a ridiculously bad idea...
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When the idea was first suggested, taking off Durga was considered a suboptimal suggestion.

By the time the most recent round of debate started, it was considered a very bad idea.

Now it is considered to maybe or maybe not lead to Anna's death/severe physical and mental issues.

Assuming the trend remains constant, by the end of the Quest taking off Durga will be considered on par with literally starting the apocalypse.
 
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