Remove ads

A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

Reader mode
Crake said:
I absolutely want to hold a trial for Tywin.

That would be such a fucking own.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Azel said:
Definitely. We have so much heinous shit we can drag him with that his name will be a curse word when we are done.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I predict that well before the trial ends, our forces will be actively working to keep Tywin alive in the face of the people he's wronged. He'll probably need to be in a windowless cell somewhere deep within the Palace while we use a MirrorVision to allow him to attend his own trial.

We might want to preemptively locate the most high end brothel out among the Planes and give Oberyn an all expenses paid trip for the duration.
 
Goldfish said:
I predict that well before the trial ends, our forces will be actively working to keep Tywin alive in the face of the people he's wronged. He'll probably need to be in a windowless cell somewhere deep within the Palace while we use a MirrorVision to allow him to attend his own trial.

We might want to preemptively locate the most high end brothel out among the Planes and give Oberyn an all expenses paid trip for the duration.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I think we can convince him and Doran to wait it out and promise them the utter annihilation of Tywin's last shreds of "honor" and any respect anyone might have for him and his house.

By this point they aught to trust Viserys to deliver.
 
Goldfish said:
I predict that well before the trial ends, our forces will be actively working to keep Tywin alive in the face of the people he's wronged. He'll probably need to be in a windowless cell somewhere deep within the Palace while we use a MirrorVision to allow him to attend his own trial.

We might want to preemptively locate the most high end brothel out among the Planes and give Oberyn an all expenses paid trip for the duration.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Are you kidding? I'm pretty sure the Martells will be sitting in the ranks and munching on popcorn all the while. No way Oberyn will not be present when we shit on Tywins everything for hours upon hours, followed by him getting hanged like some petty criminal.
 
Azel said:
Are you kidding? I'm pretty sure the Martells will be sitting in the ranks and munching on popcorn all the while. No way Oberyn will not be present when we shit on Tywins everything for hours upon hours, followed by him getting hanged like some petty criminal.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I just wouldn't want Oberyn to do anything to get himself in trouble. He's an impulsive sort of guy, and there is always a chance he might sneeze and accidentally fling a poisoned dagger at Tywin's face.

Oberyn: "Damn, sorry about that. This new spring-loaded wrist sheath has a real hair trigger."
 
Goldfish said:
I just wouldn't want Oberyn to do anything to get himself in trouble. He's an impulsive sort of guy, and there is always a chance he might sneeze and accidentally fling a poisoned dagger at Tywin's face.

Oberyn: "Damn, sorry about that. This new spring-loaded wrist sheath has a real hair trigger."
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
He ain't that bad. While he is famous for his shortsightedness and temper having caused his death in canon, the situation here is vastly different.

In canon, he was getting excited and sloppy because he thought he finally, after years of stewing in his impotent fury, he would be able to pin the death of his sister and her children on Tywin by making Gregor Clegane confess.
Here though, all he is to do is sit back and watch the show as Tywin is verbally flensed for that and other crimes.
 
Azel said:
*sees assault team breaking through the ground*
"How about a nice cup of fuck no?"
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Shaitan #1: "Hey, aren't the Lannisters enemies with the Dragon that keeps shitting all over the Efreeti?"

Shaitan #2: "That's one of the rumors I've heard. It's hard to tell fact from fiction here in the Garden, though. Just yesterday, I heard a pair of Lannister mages-"

<nearby wall collapses, then a solid stream of Undead, Praetorians, and Heralds proceed to pour forth>

Shaitan #1: "Fuck!"

<Qyburn shows up>

Shaitan #2: "Oh hell no, they're not paying us enough for this shit." *schlorp!* <Earth Glides away at record speed>
 
On the matter of if Lana will be upset with us, I think the thread it overlooking some things. Having her family name, fortune, and personal reputation ruined is pretty bad but we're in the middle of doing a lot worse.

We're actively killing her friends, family, colleagues, and the projects that she's put years of her life into working on. By the time we're done the only things she'll have left are her husband and children. We could probably pressure her into a deal, but shed have no loyalty once a better opportunity came around.

I mean, would any of you work with someone who burned your office building down with almost everyone who worked there inside? If they hunted down your family and either killed them or stripped them of everything but the clothes on their backs? How about if they beat you and your spouse half to death and kidnapped your kids? Cause that's how it's going to feel when we take the rest of the Lannisters into custody, even if we don't do any more harm to them.

Destroying her social standing is the last and least of the injuries we've dealt to Lana. I doubt it'll be the one on her mind the first time someone tries to subvert her.
 
BronzeTongue said:
On the matter of if Lana will be upset with us, I think the thread it overlooking some things. Having her family name, fortune, and personal reputation ruined is pretty bad but we're in the middle of doing a lot worse.

We're actively killing her friends, family, colleagues, and the projects that she's put years of her life into working on. By the time we're done the only things she'll have left are her husband and children. We could probably pressure her into a deal, but shed have no loyalty once a better opportunity came around.

I mean, would any of you work with someone who burned your office building down with almost everyone who worked there inside? If they hunted down your family and either killed them or stripped them of everything but the clothes on their backs? How about if they beat you and your spouse half to death and kidnapped your kids? Cause that's how it's going to feel when we take the rest of the Lannisters into custody, even if we don't do any more harm to them.

Destroying her social standing is the last and least of the injuries we've dealt to Lana. I doubt it'll be the one on her mind the first time someone tries to subvert her.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I'm also half-convinced she's aware it was us who destroyed the Alchemist's Guild, considering we very recently saw an Alchemist trying to fight the Imperium. On some level the secret is out.
 
Duesal said:
I'm also half-convinced she's aware it was us who destroyed the Alchemist's Guild, considering we very recently saw an Alchemist trying to fight the Imperium. On some level the secret is out.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Really, our opening of Royce Alchemical Works shortly after (was it like a couple months later?) we blew up the Pyromancers was probably the fait accompli, there.

It's an assumption without adequate evidence, but... it's a pretty good one.
 
Crake said:
Worth every cent, I'm sure.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Eh. I don't know. Now that @Goldfish pointed it out, "unknown type of higher Illithidae leading an army of undead" is something you might have written into an escape clause buried somewhere on page 194 of the contract. Just in case.
Or they were specifically excluding anti-Illithid operations from their contract and used reports of Qyburn coming up as a reason to bail on Tywin.

Imagine Tywin sitting in his solar, trying to make sense of the battle reports given to him by a mindcontrolled Golden Shield, when a Shaitan bursts in. Said Shaitan just yells "§723.3 Section 4, wanker!" and then Earthglides through the floor while flipping Tywin off with both hands.
 
Crake said:
Really, our opening of Royce Alchemical Works shortly after (was it like a couple months later?) we blew up the Pyromancers was probably the fait accompli, there.

It's an assumption without adequate evidence, but... it's a pretty good one.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Did we snatch something from the Alchemist guild at the time? Because the evidence sounds really flimsy on that side.
 
Azel said:
Eh. I don't know. Now that @Goldfish pointed it out, "unknown type of higher Illithidae leading an army of undead" is something you might have written into an escape clause buried somewhere on page 194 of the contract. Just in case.
Or they were specifically excluding anti-Illithid operations from their contract and used reports of Qyburn coming up as a reason to bail on Tywin.

Imagine Tywin sitting in his solar, trying to make sense of the battle reports given to him by a mindcontrolled Golden Shield, when a Shaitan bursts in. Said Shaitan just yells "§723.3 Section 4, wanker!" and then Earthglides through the floor while flipping Tywin off with both hands.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Given I find it unlikely Tywin wouldn't have written a contract that at least extracted a promise to defend the Rock from assault at minimum against all comers, with "all comers" including the likelihood of Deep One attackers given geographic location and the sea cave and underground entry ways, we can probably assume the Mercenaries broke their contract.

Granted, Tywin is a criminal under the law of both the Peerless Empire AND the Imperium, so they have bigger worries than contract law to worry about. In fact, the very fact that the Opaline Vault wouldn't have arbitrated such a contract given their recognition of Tywin as a criminal makes it likely there was no real binding contract outside of the standard guarantees given between any two-bit Free Company.

An uninsured pact, essentially. Which makes me wonder why he hired them to begin with.
 
Crake said:
Really, our opening of Royce Alchemical Works shortly after (was it like a couple months later?) we blew up the Pyromancers was probably the fait accompli, there.

It's an assumption without adequate evidence, but... it's a pretty good one.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
There's also the fact that at the time we did it very few supernatural factions capable of doing the job were active in the area, and we didn't try to pin it on them anyway.

As far as I recall we basically pinned it on "nebulous good aligned voice from the sky". An entity that appeared once to smite evil, but then apparently got bored and left since it didn't try to do anything about all of the other nasty shit going on in the region.

From that perspective it starts to make a lot more sense to pin it on one of the few people you know about who could and would do it.
 
ryuan said:
Did we snatch something from the Alchemist guild at the time? Because the evidence sounds really flimsy on that side.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Did not actually loot the Alchemist's guild for either personnel or secrets, but the timing is real suspicious outwardly. Overestimating Viserys on this is entirely plausible - particularly when such ah, appropriation, has occurred with most defeated foes so far.
 
mmgaballah said:
I am wandering why they singed on with him in the first place , Tywin and his ilk were declared criminals by the Sultana of the peerless empire herself when we asked her to stay out of the conflicts of the garden
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Could have perfectlt been the closest thing to "commoner" Shaitan doing merc work.

Not everyone among the genies can live on a literal gold tower.
 
Reader mode
You must login or register to reply here.
Remove ads
Back
Top