Voted best in category in the Users' Choice awards.
It's a Dwarf catapult. You'd have better luck convincing them to accept Ranald into their lives.
He's joking.

I know, it can be hard to tell, but-
One would think that after the first person to reply in the negative got a doubling down in return, people would realise that a joke was being made. Obviously I need to work on my comedy.
Adhoc vote count started by Yanez on Apr 12, 2018 at 4:09 PM, finished with 16592 posts and 101 votes.
 
Frontliners don't like magic either. Its really not difficult though. Enchant a ceramic item set to go off when broken, place it on the battlefield. Wait for the enemy to inevitably break the plate from trampling and then suddenly panic

"AAAAAAAAH I BROKE A POT AAAAAAAAAH THERE ARE SHARDS EVERYWHERE AAAAAAAH!!!!"

"HOW DID I NEVER REALIZE HOW TERRIFYING POTTERY IS UNTIL TODAY!??!?"

"IT'S DOUBLE-GLAZED!!!! RUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!"
 
Keep in mind that our highest fear spell isn't just scary, it's sanity-rending. If they see that pot they'll go actually mad if they don't make their saves. Imagine having a fear of pottery that can drive you catatonic or give you traumatic flashbacks; that sort of madness.

It'd be hilarious.
 
Keep in mind that our highest fear spell isn't just scary, it's sanity-rending. If they see that pot they'll go actually mad if they don't make their saves. Imagine having a fear of pottery that can drive you catatonic or give you traumatic flashbacks; that sort of madness.

It'd be hilarious.
And now I want us to make them little children's toys, specifically like the toy we first enchanted when we were young. Imagine our enemies running in terror from a toy horse.
 
And now I want us to make them little children's toys, specifically like the toy we first enchanted when we were young. Imagine our enemies running in terror from a toy horse.
When we finally go full Nagash we will go back to the village we were born in and do just that. Let them rue the day (that probably none of them even remember) when they cast us out!
 
Interlude - Scouting the Near-Badlands, Part 4
[*] Return to the Expedition.

Unseen and unnoticed, you slip away from the faltering attempt at society in miniature. The greenskins have no idea that their doom was set in motion weeks ago in Barak Varr, and they'll have another week or two to enjoy their pointless snotling lives before it arrives. Your trip back through the tunnel is more cautious than the way in now that you know squigs are roaming, but you return up the spiral and emerge once more above the clouds without encountering any.

Your return to the Expedition triggers a council meeting, and the reaction from the dwarven members is mixed. Of all the things that could be infesting the tunnel, snotlings are easily the least bad option, but the squigs could deal some significant attrition to the marching army. Still, that both dock and tunnel have been located and are still intact are good news for the Expedition. You also mention your encounter with the dragon ogre hunter, and while it is concerning, if it's preying on greenskins then so much the better, and if it's based out of Thunder Mountain then it'll be fairly removed from the supply lines of the expedition.

[Rolling...]

A 'harrumph' that shakes the fabric of the tent you're meeting in emits from the tenth member of the War Council. Frowning even more in disapproval than usual, Kragg leans forward and speaks in strongly accented Reikspiel. "Karag Dron was not named such to be poetic," he grumbles, his stern gaze sweeping over everyone in turn. "The eternal plume from the peak crackles with lightning. If the drakkogri have displaced the grobi that infested it, then the weakness of that terrible race has been mitigated."

Things are rather subdued for the remainder of the meeting.

---

The Expedition has reached and crossed the second tributary, and work is underway on a bridge across the river itself so the Expedition can push into the valley as far as the river dock. Reports from Ulthar and Petrescu indicate that the greenskins have tried a few reconnaissance-in-force probes to find out what kept killing their scouts, hunters and wanderers, and were savaged enough by ambushes that they've fallen back to their fort; hopes are they'll take long enough working themselves back up for another push towards you that the Expedition will be over the river and gone. They've not reported any encounters with Dragon Ogres, but everyone will be keeping keen eyes out for them.


Contributing to the Campaign:
[ ] A rearguard will be standing guard to repulse any last-minute attack before you cross the river a third and final time in case the greenskins move south in enough force that the scouts can't repulse them. Stand ready with them.
[ ] Ulthar's Rangers and Petrescu's marksmen are watching for any massed movement in the hopes of savaging them enough to convince them to pull back. Assist them.
[ ] Thunder Mountain may hold a greater threat than you initially expected. Go scouting once more.
[ ] Work with Ulthar and Panoramia to equip the best Ranger sharpshooters with envenomed bolts.


Spend time with the Council of War:
[ ] Thane Skaroki Grimbrow
[ ] Master Engineer Durin Wutokri
[ ] Grand Master Sigwald Kriegersen
[ ] Grand Master Ruprecht Wulfhart
[ ] Marksman Codrin Petrescu
[ ] Marshal Titus Muggins


Other Preparations:
[ ] You've heard that greatswords and greataxes are near identical in the way they're used, and you happen to be surrounded by experts in the art of the axe. Learn how to use one.


Spend time with your Journeymanlings:

Esbern and Seija of the Amber Order
[ ] Test their skills in battle.
[ ] They'll be going hunting in the valley. Join them, and bring Wolf along too.

Maximilian de Gaynesford of the Gold Order
[ ] Ask him to reforge your sword into a superior one.
[ ] Introduce him to the dwarven smiths so he can try to convince them to teach him.
[ ] Ask the smiths to teach him as a favour to you (-2 favours)

Johann of the Gold Order
[ ] Help him find a place with the dwarf artillery crews so that he can supplement their abilities in combat.
[ ] Keep tabs on his interactions with the dwarves, making sure he's not fishing for information that the dwarves want to keep for themselves.


- Lightning from ash plumes: it's a thing. Volcanological trivia is a pretty forgivable oversight, but it's still one I'm surprised nobody caught (or at least if they did, they didn't mention it).
- The rewording of the envenomed bolts option is just clarifying what that option does - that's still what would have been done if you picked it earlier.
 
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[X] Work with Ulthar and Panoramia to equip the best Ranger sharpshooters with envenomed bolts.
[X] Marksman Codrin Petrescu
[X] Marshal Titus Muggins
 
[X] Work with Ulthar and Panoramia to equip the best Ranger sharpshooters with envenomed bolts.
[X] Marksman Codrin Petrescu
[X] Marshal Titus Muggins
 
[x] Work with Ulthar and Panoramia to equip the best Ranger sharpshooters with envenomed bolts.
[x] Marksman Codrin Petrescu
[x] Introduce him to the dwarven smiths so he can try to convince them to teach him.
[x] Help him find a place with the dwarf artillery crews so that he can supplement their abilities in combat.

Chief wizard is the job we've agreed to do. That means integrating our journeymanlings into the throng in the most useful ways so let's actually get that done.
 
[X] Work with Ulthar and Panoramia to equip the best Ranger sharpshooters with envenomed bolts.
[X] Thunder Mountain may hold a greater threat than you initially expected. Go scouting once more.
[X] Help him find a place with the dwarf artillery crews so that he can supplement their abilities in combat.
 
[x] Thunder Mountain may hold a greater threat than you initially expected. Go scouting once more.
[x] Marksman Codrin Petrescu
[x] You've heard that greatswords and greataxes are near identical in the way they're used, and you happen to be surrounded by experts in the art of the axe. Learn how to use one.

Approval things
[x] Work with Ulthar and Panoramia to equip the best Ranger sharpshooters with envenomed bolts.
[x] They'll be going hunting in the valley. Join them, and bring Wolf along too.
 
[X] Introduce him to the dwarven smiths so he can try to convince them to teach him.
[X] Help him find a place with the dwarf artillery crews so that he can supplement their abilities in combat.
[X] You've heard that greatswords and greataxes are near identical in the way they're used, and you happen to be surrounded by experts in the art of the axe. Learn how to use one.
 
[X] Work with Ulthar and Panoramia to equip the best Ranger sharpshooters with envenomed bolts.
[X] Thunder Mountain may hold a greater threat than you initially expected. Go scouting once more.
[X] Help him find a place with the dwarf artillery crews so that he can supplement their abilities in combat.
 
[X] Work with Ulthar and Panoramia to equip the best Ranger sharpshooters with envenomed bolts.
[X] Thunder Mountain may hold a greater threat than you initially expected. Go scouting once more.
[X] Help him find a place with the dwarf artillery crews so that he can supplement their abilities in combat.
 
[X] Work with Ulthar and Panoramia to equip the best Ranger sharpshooters with envenomed bolts.
[X] Thunder Mountain may hold a greater threat than you initially expected. Go scouting once more.
[X] Help him find a place with the dwarf artillery crews so that he can supplement their abilities in combat.
 
[X] Thane Skaroki Grimbrow
[X] Master Engineer Durin Wutokri
[X] Grand Master Sigwald Kriegersen
[X] Grand Master Ruprecht Wulfhart
[X] Marksman Codrin Petrescu
[X] Marshal Titus Muggins
 
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