It is my pleasure to congratulate you, dear reader, for you have managed to purchase the #1 of all field-guides in the empire, recognized by the crown itself! I also have to once more apologize for issue #365; it will truly live on in infamy, maybe even more so than issue #99, and our sincerest apologies go out to those harmed by the misinformation in those issues.
But enough of introductions! You wouldn't have bought this monthly issue to hear me prattle on! (If you have, consider me deeply flattered.) Let us run straight ahead into the meat of this month's focus: LIZARDS!!!
Yes, dear reader, you heard me correctly! We will once more delve deep into the deepest recesses that those magnificent creatures hide in their biology (innuendo not intended) and unearth the newest findings by Heidelberg Kleinknecht, head of the Imperial Zoologie Foundation!
But first, we have to retell the information covered in previous issues once more for our new readers, as much as it chagrins our veterans of years past. So! On we go!
The species are known far and wide as "Lizards" but are three different sub-species of a now extinct common ancestor. These specie are the common (and imaginatively named) "Work-Lizard," the rarer (but not sporting more creativity in naming) "Scout-Lizard," with the "War-Lizard" being the last to round out the trio (though its name is truly a beacon of ingenuity in this dark world!).
All three species have a very similar appearance and physique but differ in small but noticeable ways. The "Work-Lizard," (now named WoL) is comparatively both the shortest and longest of the three. At a length of 10(ten) meters with tail and 5(five) without, a height of 1.4(one-point-four), and a width of 3.7 (three-point-seven), this beast has shocked more than one kid in its lifetime! But do not worry, dear reader, for the WoL is a pure herbivore, with a preference for sandwheat no less! Their coloration ranges from deep brown to yellow sand (though some display green confusingly enough) while their scales are not arranged in any particular camouflage pattern. The most common uses for these beasts are transportation, agriculture, and meat, especially since their tail can be cut off without causing the poor animal too much pain or distress. Many a nomadic tribe in the wastes makes excellent use of them, even to the point of building houses on them!
The second species is the "Scout-Lizard," (now named SL) and has a tiny (in comparison) build with a length of 5.3(five-point-three) meters, a height of 2(two) meters, and a width of 2.6(two-point-six) meters. The fascinating thing about them is that they do not have a set coloration pattern to their scales! Their most defining feature is that they can change them almost on the fly, making them indistinguishable to their surroundings to all but the most observant pursuer or sentry. Unfortunately, this does not extend to their riders, but then again, they mostly rely on their terrifying speed of 104 kph, which they can keep up for over three hours, smashing apart any hope of catching them without Knight or SL support of your own. At least their riders have nerves of steel...
But let us go to everyone's favorite: The "War-Lizard!" (now named WaL) At a length of 6.4(six-point-four) for betas and 9.3(nine-point-three) for alphas, a height of 1.7(one-point-seven) and 2.5(two-point-five) respectively with a width of 2.5(two-point-five) and 3.2(three-point-two) to round things out. Their scales and colors are perhaps the most boring point about them, since there is very little difference between individuals, with grey and diamond being the "default" pattern. Where it gets interesting, however, is their head, claws, and tail. Unlike most Lizards, their tails cannot be separated from their bodies without causing massive amounts of pain. You would be pretty insane to do so, seeing as their tail sports several spikes that the WaL uses to crush and impale their enemies and prey. Their heads are armored in heavy bone-plates known to deflect crossbow-bolts, and some alphas have even survived a direct shot by Knights! A preferred tactic of WaL-Riders is to charge head-long into battle-lines of light troops and the rear of heavily armored foes. Then, the real slaughter starts as the WaL goes to town on human, Mutated, and Mutant, with their massive claws that can rend even heavy plate-mail with ease and cleave an unarmored human in twain without effort. Whoever has to fight those monsters on the battlefield is sure to have a bad day indeed!
But let us get to something much more enjoyable: their life-cycle!
Most Lizards turn fertile at the age of 8 years old, about 1/6 of their life spent maturing. But let us skip the details to spare our younger readers and focus on what happens once an egg has been made. Said egg is then buried under hot sand to ensure its safety and keep its temperature stable. After three months, the tiny Lizard hatches, commonly alone, though there are rare recorded instances of two Lizards hatching from the same egg. Once outside, the Lizard's first instinct is to eat its shell, and any rests that were left after its hatching. After this is done, the Lizard will start to explore their surroundings and search for additional food and their parents and siblings. There are surprisingly enough no significant differences between the three subtypes in the first year of their lives, with most of it being spent learning how to fight, gather food, and recognize different smells and sounds. This is where nature's cruelty comes into play; however: after that year, the young Lizards are chased out of their parent's nests to fend for themselves, except for WaL's. They continue to be raised into their herds until they can start pulling their weight.
Luckily for them, that humanity has found great uses for them and is ready and willing to support them in exchange for work! Better yet, with modern hatcheries, most Lizards are groomed to their specific jobs almost the moment they have hatched. Some prefer the "wild" Lizards to the domesticated ones, stating that they have that extra drive to earn their keep. But let us get on with the recap!
Some may ask, "Hey, why are we using those giant slabs of meat for labor and war? They may be useful, but they must guzzle water and food like crazy!" And you would be right, but there is an essential factor that those people are overlooking: A Lizard only drinks 100 liters a month, with about 3.5(three-point-five) times the food an average human needs.
"But a human only needs about 75 liters in a month! And what do you mean 3.5 times as much as a human? That is ridiculously low!" Yes, I meant what I wrote! Their water-consumption is something that many would look at with a raised eyebrow, as they take their sheer size into account, coupled with one fascinating little tidbit.
They can store their water for over a month.
Yes, it means precisely what you are currently thinking. With proper planning, a Lizard can traverse even the driest desert without any worry of dehydration, for they do not need to drink 3(three) liters of water every day as a human would. How they can operate with so comparatively little water is still being hotly debated, but we are sure that we will know the answer to that riddle one day!
"And that food thing?"
That is the question we are about to answer right now, dear reader, for the excellent doctor Heidelberg has found a curious little acid inside the stomach- (The report descends into highly scientific terms and graphs, nigh incomprehensible to the layman.)