- Location
- Illinois
Well there's ~18k of omake since the last update so idk whats so bad.
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Battle Action Harem Highschool Side Character Quest (No SV, you are the Waifu)
- Thread starter Avalanche
- Start date
- Original
Well there's ~18k of omake since the last update so idk whats so bad.
DB_Explorer
Purveyor of alternate realities.
- Location
- San Diego, California
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Well you got some new people
.... thats good right?.... or should I go back to the pillow fort?
- Location
- Illinois
Also, excuse me, you try catnapping in midair in power armor in between fighting sapient enemies that want to kill everyone you love, and then you can diss bedding. Oh, wait, after that, you won't.
Familiar - Quilted Terror! (aka Q.T)
Familiar
The Vaguely Recognized
- Location
- Washington
Pillow-chan threw a quilt at Koujirou! But who is Pillow-chan?
It's a mystery.
"I can entertain the idea that Trump is Durga. That Durga is Anna. That Anna is Bread-chan. But that Bread-chan is Pillow-chan??? Now you're messing with me."
Here, the combined result of a bus ride and a shitty camera:
The Quilted Terror, but everyone calls her Cutie (Q.T.)
Familiar - When the memes go too far.
- Location
- Leeds
More important than the joke. Sandra curls her hair.
CrabMonarchy
Allegedly Dutch
- Location
- the Netherlands, apparently
Need "her" before "theft".
Needs capitalization.
Should be "matrices".
Pretty sure that should be a semicolon.
Should be a semicolon.
"are left standing".
"remains of the city are".
Past tense used where most of post is present.
Needs a semicolon.
Add a comma after "others".
Redundant.
Needs a semicolon instead of a comma.
Missing a few commas.
"has"; "one" is singular.
Needs a semicolon instead of a comma.
Replace the comma after "fish" with "and".
See above.
"its", not "it's".
Should be a semicolon.
Should be a few more commas in there.
Should be a semicolon.
Semicolon.
Add a "the" before "United" and excise the comma.
Past tense used in post made in present.
Replace the comma with "for".
Missing an article adjective.
Comma should be either a semicolon or colon. Not sure which, so I'll need someone with a better grasp of English.
"First" is capitalized in other locations when used in the same context.
Past tense in a present tense post.
Something is up with this post, and I'm not sure what to do other than to rewrite it or split it in two somehow.
Add "; as such" before the comma.
"section" is capitalized in most other locations.
See above.
Replace the comma with "due to" or something similar.
Sort-of run-on sentence. Object of preposition is functioning as the subject of another clause. Something is up with this sentence.
"builders" is capitalized in other usages.
See above.
"required" should be "require".
"the economic power" is unnecessary.
"builders" is capitalized in other usages.
See above.
Something is up with this sentence. It does not flow well.
Shouldn't it be "the Antananarivo orbital facilities"?
Semicolon, not comma.
See above.
In USAian and Canadian English, "authorize" is spelled with a 'z', not a 's'. This is super minor, though, not to mention Sandra is probably a Brit anyways.
Add "and" after the comma.
"sprawled" should be in present tense to match the rest of the text. Also, something seems off with the present progressive clause at the end.
"radiated" should be in present tense to match the rest of the text.
"reuse of the" does not fit in the sentence. Suggest removal.
Past tense used in present tense post.
The antecedent of "it" is currently "sewage piping". Suggest replacement of "it" with "the waste" or similar.
Past tense used in present tense post.
Suggest "have resisted".
I think you mean term. I sincerely doubt the housing is made of "irrelevant or inappropriate messages sent on the Internet to a large number of recipients" or "a canned meat product made mainly from ham"
Semicolon, not comma.
Replace when with "whereupon".
Add a comma after "houses".
"left" should be "let".
Add a comma after the quote.
"reshape" should be "reshaping".
Suggest replacement of "until you" with "and".
Sentence does not flow. Suggest splitting off the second clause or rewriting the sentence.
Suggest replacing the dash with "and".
Past tense in a primarily present tense post.
Considering the context, suggest replacing "notable" with "noticeable".
Semicolon, please.
Add another noun after "and" or remove "and" entirely and change "are" to is.
Replace the comma with a colon.
Semicolon, not comma.
"under layers" should be one word to match previous usage.
"has increased", not "have increased".
"retracting", not "retracing".
"Towns people" should be one word to match common usage.
"appear" should be "appears" to match the subject.
Praise the semicolon.
Please remove one of the "here"s. Either "your work in Seosan as we transited here" or "your work here in Seosan as we transited."
Needs more commas.
"provide" should be "provides" to match the subject.
"could" should be "can" to match tenses.
See above.
Suggest adding "task" after "next" to improve comprehensibility of the sentence.
"make" should be "makes" to match the subject. Remove the comma entirely.
"itself" should be "themselves" to match the object.
"gleamed" should be "gleam" to match the rest of the post. Also, what is "faint off white"? Suggest modification for improved comprehensibility.
"followed" should be "follow".
See above.
Suggest adding "as" before "memories".
"sat" should be "sits" to match the post's tense.
"held" should be "holds" to match the post's tense.
Two options:
1. Replace the comma with, you guessed it, a SEMICOLON.
2. Replace "slump" with "slumped.
This section needs a period replacing the comma.
This section is missing a verb.
precedence =/= precedent. The latter is what you mean here.
Suggest adding a comma after "me".
Replace "whom" with "who".
Replace the comma with a period and move the quote to a new line.
Suggest adding commas before and after "however".
Replace the period with a comma and merge the sentences. The second sentence is currently a fragment.
Suggest adding "will" after "you".
Semicolon time! Oh Yeah!
Suggest replacing the first comma with "and" or "as", depending on intended meaning, and replacing "most" with "more.
Add "to" before "have".
Suggest adding a semicolon OR adding "and as such" after the comma and "will have to" after "I".
Replace "shared" with "share" to match tenses, and replace "simply" with "simple.
Got bored and decided to do a bit of proofreading. Probably missed a lot of stuff, and I don't remember if anyone already did this, but meh.
Edit: Proofreading is hard.
Edit #2: Semicolons are the best punctuation marks ever.
Edit #3: Finally done. Total time: 1 hour, 24 minutes. Going to eat something now. I have greatly underestimated the fortitude of internet proofreaders.
Edit #4: some suggested semicolons may be replaced with em dashes instead.
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- Location
- Mountains and rivers
Em dashes are. *proofreader mortal combat initiated*
Only one hour for an Avalanche update?
#MadRespect
the Best punctuation is the Period. Because it is the most basic and essential of all punctuation. All other punctuation can be replaced by context clues and word choice. The Period alone is essential and irreplaceable in function.(unless it's a telegraph but no one wants to put "STOP" and the end of every sentence.
Aranfan
Team Plasma Grunt
Onmur
Archangel of Nutella.
You know how supervillains hate getting captured by annoying, snarky superheroes like Spiderman?
Supervillains love getting caught by the Quited Terror. She's just so fluffy. She'll restrain you with minimal force, and you can just fall asleep on her arms while she carries you to jail, it's 100% comfy. Would get captured again.
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... ... ...I confuse myself sometimes... was that intended as a joke or serious...
I dunno!
I do know why I wrote it though, PotatoesOfDoom wrote about best punctuation and then Bludflag riposted with theirs so then I did that too.
CrabMonarchy
Allegedly Dutch
- Location
- the Netherlands, apparently
But the semicolon is a period...with a comma underneath it! Take that!
The semi-colon is the WORST punctuation because it's impossible to use
Krsnik
faerie princess
- Pronouns
- She/Fae
I don't know what you guys are talking about. The best punctuation mark is obviously the interrobang.
LostDeviljho
Flame Dragon Princess
- Location
- The glorious Pacific Northwest
- Pronouns
- Any
You're the only one here who cares about those.
I, personally, am fond of commas.
- Location
- Mountains and rivers
SolipsistSerpent
Endlessly Devouring
People were suggesting theme songs for Anna a couple pages back, so let me put one out there:
Blumenkrantz.
It's got a very melancholy feel once you hit the vocals and has appropriate lyrics like:
"I want to become stronger
because our world is very cruel"
and
"What do you want from me?
I might not want to, but I must pursue the enemy
I am not free from this world"
and
"You bind a flower wreath
Why do you look so sad?"
Those last two in particular fit our last update and her conversation with Sandra.
Blumenkrantz in the very unlikely case you haven't heard it:
Blumenkrantz.
It's got a very melancholy feel once you hit the vocals and has appropriate lyrics like:
"I want to become stronger
because our world is very cruel"
and
"What do you want from me?
I might not want to, but I must pursue the enemy
I am not free from this world"
and
"You bind a flower wreath
Why do you look so sad?"
Those last two in particular fit our last update and her conversation with Sandra.
Blumenkrantz in the very unlikely case you haven't heard it:
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LostDeviljho
Flame Dragon Princess
- Location
- The glorious Pacific Northwest
- Pronouns
- Any
Anna isn't a competitor for "worst mom ever" tho.
Jonen C
F.M.D.G.
- Location
- Lincopense, Ostrogothia, Suecia
Yet.
"Get in the Valkyrie, daughter."
"You must fight the Antagonists."
"It's just your lower extremities, you can live without them, suck it up."
"Do not question the pillowfort."
"Deploy 100 impeller fields, fire 100 missiles and fly at mach ten everywhere everyday."
"That is a very nice drawing. Now put it in your valkyrie storage and don't show it to me again until it's photorealistic or better."
"Do not mock the alphabetical list."
Onmur
Archangel of Nutella.
"NO. You can NOT have bread for breakfast. Bread is hate. Bread is the enemy."