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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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I think that sometime next month we should do a minor action to ask the Orphene to hunt down some templates for us. Make a list and have them hunt them down and trade some artifacts and stories for them.
 
I wonder what they would say in King's Landing that the Targaryens are multiplying... and then what they would say if they knew that it wasn't through the traditional method.

No pregnant boars, at least!
 
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Canon Omake: Steadfast Coils
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    • Canon Omake: Steadfast Coils​

    14th Day of the Twelfth Month 293 AC

    After spending a while in Sorcerers Deep, Tobho Mott had decided that there was quiet a difference between living in interesting times and truly living them. He hardly had shied away from danger in his youth, first taking the risk to become one of Qohors secretive smiths, then deciding to leave his home to live in the Sunset Kingdoms. His years hardly had tempered him in this regard or he wouldn't have knowingly taken a kings bastard as an apprentice just to abandon another home in favor of going to the court of said kings sworn enemy, that bastard in tow.

    In his youth, he would have immediately cited the joy of adventure as the reason for his deeds. Now though it seemed more a mix of a bad habit and fate having taken an undue liking to him that kept getting him into stranger and stranger situations.

    Case in point. "Just hold still already or do you want to get spotty?" A contrite rattling came up from the barbed chain under his hands. He had given up on pondering why he understood what the weapon was saying. Or why the fiendish thing, wrought by literal devils in the actual Hells, kept acting like a mix of a petulant child and a bored cat.

    And apparently it was ticklish or it would have stopped making this harder on both of them by constantly moving around. Finding a way to seed the conversion to true Valyrian Steel in a weapon that he could not reforge in the process was hard and while he was rather proud of his solution, it was still a rather disgusting and annoying process. Every single segment of the diabolical chain had to be carefully painted with a mix of blood and arcane unguents, then covered evenly with powdered Valyrian Steel.

    This would either be the most impressive work in his life so far, or the most expensive and least edible attempt at breaded meat. And it was not as if Gendry was much help, seeing as he had 'volunteered' to calm the worries of the chains owner while Tobho wrestled with the damned thing. The attempt to keep it in place with thongs had failed spectacularly, leaving his apprentice with a nasty gash and the chains owner torn between fussing about her pet weapon or the boy it had injured.

    The problem was not the young woman though, who was most definitely not a noble lady from Westeros. There were probably thousands of girls on this island with a penchant for seahorses on the buttons of their clothes and who looked like the lost twin sister of a younger Monford Valeryon. It was also not a problem that her weapons struggles had coated Tobhos arms up to the elbows with the foul smelling blood concotion, while his apprentice made awkward attempts at talking with her.

    No, the real problem was the horse sized dragon sitting in a corner of his forge, clearly confused by the low churn of pandemonium around it and increasingly desiring the attention of his mistress. Fate was, in Tobhos humble opinion, a bitch, and it was probably a sign of his fraying nerves that he could swear he heard someone laugh at him for that thought.

    In contrast, what happened in the other half of the forge troubled the old smith little. He had seen the princess work her miracles often enough to trust her work, no matter her young age. It was not as if it was hard to figure out what the special ingredient in the making of Valyrian Steel was. Maybe some of the apprentices were dumb enough to believe the barrels labeled 'goat blood' contained just that, but Tobho had learned in Qohor in the old days.

    He knew full well that there were some questions you shouldn't ask, lest they be answered. Yet he also knew the less common of wisdom of not blinding yourself to uncomfortable truths, lest they bite your backside. And lead lined steel barrels filled with a mysterious black sludge? That reeked of burned hair and rancid fat, and caused a headache if you looked at it too long? There were certainly horns and cloven hooves involved in that stuffs making, just not those of goats.

    So when he was told that the pricess and her two knights would summon a powerful warlord of Hell, subdue him and then feed him to the annoying chain he was working on, he just shrugged and accepted it. There was a point where it was no longer useful to get worked up over something and the heiress of the realm butchering fiends was well beyond it.

    At long last though, he was finished. The last spike of the bloody chain was painted and a healthy hand full of powder later, everything was properly coated. The chain seemed just as happy that it was done as him and before he could even say a word, it was sliding off his workbench and crawling in circles over the floor while chittering in annoyance.

    "Mighty grateful of you. Don't complain if something comes off if you keep doing that." It said a lot that nobody even acknowledged his continued spat with the sentient weapon. Or that it, in return, stopped it's crawling for a moment to throw both of it's ends up in the air in Tobhos direction, managing to convey a surprising amount of rudeness with the simple gesture.

    However, while this went on, the princesses work continued and so his needed to do too. Gendry was torn away from the increasingly nervous dragon rider to drag the workbench away while Tobho began to fill the forge with fresh charcoal. Maybe it was the knowledge that the actual forging would soon begin or it was the princesses ceaseless chanting in some profane tongue, but the levity drained from the forge and was replaced with silent focus.

    The young lady needed only a short moment to calm her dragon and soon Tobho could light the forge with it's flame. Meanwhile Gendry ran all over the room, gathering everything in just the right place. Heavily warded gloves and the Valyrian Steel powder went next to the forge, just in case he needed to rub more of it onto the chain while it was hot.

    Two small barrels of 'goat blood' were brought to the other side and the alchemical breathing masks handed out to everyone who would be standing near the forge, even a specially made one for the dragon. There was no room for error in what was to come. They only had a single attempt at this, for gods knew what would happen to the chains if they botched it.

    And then it all happened faster and faster. Tobho was so focused on getting the coals just right that he almost missed the arrival of the devil, only looking up when the stench of brimstone reached his nostrils. It certainly looked impressive. A great horned beast, though looking a bit lopsided for one of it's larger hornes had nearly entirely been sliced off.

    It said something in a tongue that the smith neither could nor wanted to understand, but just a moment later, two sword guards were bashed into it's face. It didn't go down like any man would have, not by a long shot, yet it gave the princes ample time to cast another spell. Chains of purest white light erupted from thin air and before the champion of Hell got it's bearings again it was bound so tight that it couldn't even move a finger.

    More words were spoken in that profane tongue while smith tore hus attention back to his coals. Whdn he looked up the next time, the chains had already crawled on top of the devil. Like a snake poised to strike rose one of it's ends over the monsters face and it seemed as if they talked with each other. Whatever was said though, it changed nothing.

    It was the chain itself that wanted this particular devil as his sacrifice. Now that whatever talk they had was over, it tore with relish into it's former master. It's throat was sawn apart by twisting barbs while the chain began to twist and coil around every piece of flesh that it could find. Soon the princess let go of her spell, the devil too wounded to even stand. But the chains were far from done, squeezing and tearing at even the slightest bit of intact flesh as if it couldn't be satisfied until nothing but ground meat was left.

    Neither the princess nor her knights moved a single muscle at the display, calmly observing the gruesome deed as if it was the hundredth time they saw it. In contrast, the dragon rider looked rather disquieted by her weapons brutality and Gendry had gone pale as a ghost and seemed only a moment away from puking his guts out.

    Silently, Tobho shoved him towards the door. The boy hesitated in confusion for a moment, then quietly slunk out. The princess would take care of him, her part of the work having ended with the fiends gruesome death.

    With all the grace of a stuffed pig did the coils emerge from the pile of offal they had made. Coated thick in gore, they swayed more then they crawled, so the smith quickly put on the warded gloves and picked them up. Weakly they struggled for a moment as if not recognizing him, but then they almost gently coiled around his hands.

    The weapons owner still stared at them in silence as Tobho lowered the chain into the glowing furnace. "What is it, my lady?" He finally asked while spreading coals over the chain, which had began to rattle with a sound that was almost a purr.

    She kept staring for a moment longer at the living metal which slowly began to glow in a dull red from the heat. "Nothing. It's just... That was it's last owner. Would it...?" The smith didn't need her to speak on to know what she meant. It had just devoured one owner, so why not another.

    Nothing came to mind to say to that. Tobho Mott had studied decades to learn every secret of every metal he could get his hands on, but the hearts of young ladies were far from his expertise. Annoyingly enough his theory had proven true and tje chain was perfectly capable of forging itself, the mind within slowly shifting blood and gore and powdered metal into new and wicked barbs and blades. That left the master smith with nothing to do except to stoke the coals and to ponder the awkward silence.

    "Maybe he didn't treat it well," he said after a shile to pierce the oppressive silence. "I mean, a dog bites his owner too when it's mistreated. Stands to reason that a fiendish weapon would be a mite more thorough in showing it's feelings." It still felt odd to him to speak about a few pieces of steel as if they were alive, but what could he really do when the thing in question turned round and round in his forge and demanding hot coals to bask in?

    The lady and her dragon quietly stared at each other thdn as if in silent communion and even the chain seemed to have picked up the mood after a while. It stopped squirming so much, instead raising one of it's ends from the coals and slowly inching closer to it's mistress. It was then that Tobho spotted something that made him laugh out loud, startling all three others in the room.

    "I wouldn't worry my lady. It's definitely a lot fonder of you then it was of it's previous owner." With a quick motion, he pinned the chain with his tongs before it could move out of the way. It struggled shortly, then went perfectly still and began to radiate a feeling of deep, deep embarrassment.

    In the chain link the old smith had pinned, something had grown. At first it looked like a somewhat stunted dragon embossed on a shield, but on a second look it looked much more familiar to the lady. A seahorse, through it's head was that of a dragon.

    One of the qualities his customers liked in him was that Tobho Mott was a man of discretion. So when he was later asked how the lady had burned her fingers, there was not a single word about unladylike cooing or slightly short-sighted attempts to pet a glowing metal chain.


    AN: Always treat your pets well. Especially the lethal ones.
     
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    • I rolled up the omake above and the progress for chain reforging came out 15/6 with good rolls for the actual skill checks (the library helped a lot). @Azel could you add a date to it also please? I forgot to mention that. The fourteenth day of the month should work.
     
    Azel said:
    And then it all happened faster and faster. Tobho was so focused on getting the coals just right that he almost missed the arrival of the devil, only looking up when the stench of brimstone reached his nostrils. It certainly looked impressive. A great horned beast, though looking a bit lopsided for one of it's larger hornes had nearly entirely been sliced off.
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    Hello old friend. :)
     
    Artemis1992 said:
    While impressive, all this did mechanically was turn the chain into Valyrian Steel, right?
    No mechanical improvements?
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    Not that I can tell, though it does give Adamantine-like DR piercing. There's also some metaphysical qualities to consider. I.E Winterbane.

    Oh, and prestige. Most of the world generally regards Valyrian Steel as extra spiffy. Even with its resurgence from rarity, it's still baller ass weapon material.
     
    I wonder if Tobho gets other magical requests, for all his complaining I am sure he is enjoying expanding the limits of his craft in general.
     
    Azel said:
    He knew full well that there were some questions you shouldn't ask, lest they be answered. Yet he also knew the less common of wisdom of not blinding yourself to uncomfortable truths, lest they bite your backside. And lead lined steel barrels filled with a mysterious black sludge? That reeked of burned hair and rancid fat, and caused a headache if you looked at it too long? There were certainly horns and cloven hooves involved in that stuffs making, just not those of goats.
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    Small question, is that harvested Evil/Law from our Mammon Machine or actual fiendblood?
     
    Massgamer said:
    I wonder if Tobho gets other magical requests, for all his complaining I am sure he is enjoying expanding the limits of his craft in general.
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    He's mostly complaining about uppity work-pieces squirming around on his workbench. And having to sooth distraught ladies nerves. That's really not his forte.
    Artemis1992 said:
    Small question, is that harvested Evil/Law from our Mammon Machine or actual fiendblood?
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    That's concentrated Evil from the Mammon Machine.

    Though Tobho thinks there is some kind of Fiend-Tar-Kiln somewhere where Viserys distills them.
     
    Azel said:
    He's mostly complaining about uppity work-pieces squirming around on his workbench. And having to sooth distraught ladies nerves. That's really not his forte.
    That's concentrated Evil from the Mammon Machine.

    Though Tobho thinks there is some kind of Fiend-Tar-Kiln somewhere where Viserys distills them.
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    Tobho's only a tiny bit off, not a bad guess at all.

    I wish we could send Mammon a thank you card.
     
    Vote closed.
    Adhoc vote count started by DragonParadox on Jan 9, 2020 at 1:40 PM, finished with 77 posts and 13 votes.
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    That was great, @Azel. Funny how a Hell-forged murder chain can be so cute in the right circumstances.
    Artemis1992 said:
    While impressive, all this did mechanically was turn the chain into Valyrian Steel, right?
    No mechanical improvements?
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    The transformation to Valyrian Steel also makes it easier to upgrade next time. For enchanting purposes, it's effective Enhancement bonus just decreased by one point. It'll be cheaper to enchant it again, and more practical to place a higher Enhancement ability, as a result.
     
    Goldfish said:
    That was great, @Azel. Funny how a Hell-forged murder chain can be so cute in the right circumstances.

    The transformation to Valyrian Steel also makes it easier to upgrade next time. For enchanting purposes, it's effective Enhancement bonus just decreased by one point. It'll be cheaper to enchant it again, and more practical to place a higher Enhancement ability, as a result.
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    Not to mention that we now have the necessary research completed for upgrading any future hellforged weapons to Valyrian Steel.
     
    That was cute.
    Great job, @Azel, you made something that by all right should be a terrifying sight of blood-sacrifice, fiend-summoning, and ritualistic murder a cute scene.
    :V

    I'm confused as to why all the people were involved but not the Valeria (scheduled as the RA-doer here), but whatever, it is minor enough for me not to fuss about with "MAH SCHEDULING", and is awesome/cute enough for me to leave you to assigning the characters the way they fit best, with nary a thought.

    I hereby declare this Chain a puppo.
     
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