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A Sword Without a Hilt: A Song of Ice and Fire/D&D 3.5 Crossover

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Snowfire said:
Harry, to Viserys: You just blew up the entire hallway! How are we meant to get out of here now with the prisoners?
Viserys, calmly: Ser Harry, if you would observe. *hall clears of flame from Firebrand to reveal that it's not burning or and the walls are completely undamaged*
Harry: ...fuck it, I'm just going to stop trying to understand at this point.

Jokes aside, this and the point from @Goldfish are equally fair ones. I have a good idea on how to make this satisfying, but don't worry, you'll get your 'where was the earth shattering kaboom' moment. I promise!

On a more serious note, related to Horde Thief, and though I'm aware this is quite a big ask. @Azel at some point in the future I am going to need a pretty major speech from Viserys. I am...moderately confident in my ability to do this, but would you be willing to give me some help with it like @Goldfish has been with my tactical planning? It's a ways away for now, I need to do the Warlock Hunt, but I want to make this hit all the right notes and you're the best person with that side of Viserys that I'm aware of in the quest at this point. It would just be the once, but it would be a massive help.
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Can I throw my gauntlet in the ring vis a vis speechifying? I've collaborated on some good'uns you know.
 
Anyway I'm up for keeping the sugar cane. At very least you can grind those and drink the juice. It can be sold as a great local delicacy, and you can burn the residue for fuel later, not to mention you can make both Rum and Cachaça with it.
 
Continuing the subject of templates, there's this:

Diamond (CR +2)[3pp] – d20PFSRD

Bonus to natural armor equal to the higher of CON/CHA, ten temporay HP per HD, resetting daily, cannot be healed otherwise, grow a diamond blade which acts like a keen scimitar of speed, with a +1 enhancement bonus per 5 hit dice, deals damage with the higher of STR/DEX.

The description says that they're usually from the earth plane or created by gods to guard stuff, but there's no inherent reason the Devil Lord of Greed couldn't have servants of living diamond.

Potentially appropriate given this false god devil thing:

False Idol Creature (CR +2) – d20PFSRD

Aura of Charm Monster – d20PFSRD, gains power for every twenty worshipers it has, gain a cleric domain as spell-like abilities (treat CR as CL), can empower divine classes per 20 worshipers (can only grant domains associated with gods of deception, receiver learns of the idol's false nature), can mark followers (up to HD), granting them a spell-like ability from the idol's domain, enables telepathic communication with the idol, idol can deal damage to the follower with no saving throw.

Like I said, I'm mechanically illiterate, and this has way too many moving parts for me to handle, but it exists, and it may be appropriate to what we're doing now.
 
LonelyWolf999 said:
I actually have a fairly detailed write-up for the King's Landing action, but it's late and I hate arguing over the internet, so I'll post it when I wake up.
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Kitty must be freed!

Realtalk: If Joffery is old enough to have hit the animal torture phase and he's hurt the cat, I'm going to go full bore intent to murder on his hateful ass.
 
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JamesShazbond said:
Continuing the subject of templates, there's this:

Diamond (CR +2)[3pp] – d20PFSRD

Bonus to natural armor equal to the higher of CON/CHA, ten temporay HP per HD, resetting daily, cannot be healed otherwise, grow a diamond blade which acts like a keen scimitar of speed, with a +1 enhancement bonus per 5 hit dice, deals damage with the higher of STR/DEX.

The description says that they're usually from the earth plane or created by gods to guard stuff, but there's no inherent reason the Devil Lord of Greed couldn't have servants of living diamond.

Potentially appropriate given this false god devil thing:

False Idol Creature (CR +2) – d20PFSRD

Aura of Charm Monster – d20PFSRD, gains power for every twenty worshipers it has, gain a cleric domain as spell-like abilities (treat CR as CL), can empower divine classes per 20 worshipers (can only grant domains associated with gods of deception, receiver learns of the idol's false nature), can mark followers (up to HD), granting them a spell-like ability from the idol's domain, enables telepathic communication with the idol, idol can deal damage to the follower with no saving throw.

Like I said, I'm mechanically illiterate, and this has way too many moving parts for me to handle, but it exists, and it may be appropriate to what we're doing now.
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A Diamond template is a nice way to beef up a tanky creature to absorb a ridiculous amount of damage. Too bad it doesn't do anything for the creature's attributes or saving throws.
 
One Autumn Leaf said:
There is the Wrathful Creature template that I personally like. It seems like a good hunter creature for certain enemies. *cough* Luncan *cough*. And of course the psychic creature template. Psychic
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Psychic is one of the best for versatility. I argued pretty hard to get it as one of Dany's go-to templates. She doesn't use them often, but they're served us well more than once.
 
Snowfire said:
Kitty must be freed!

Realtalk: If Joffery is old enough to have hit the animal torture phase and he's hurt the cat, I'm going to go full bore intent to murder on his hateful ass.
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I highly doubt it. Balerion is a legit badass cat. It stole food off of Tywin Lannister's plate. A redcloak once told Arya it was the true lord of the Red Keep.

Only divine intervention would have allowed Joffrey of all people to catch Balerion.
 
Snowfire said:
On a more serious note, related to Horde Thief, and though I'm aware this is quite a big ask. @Azel at some point in the future I am going to need a pretty major speech from Viserys. I am...moderately confident in my ability to do this, but would you be willing to give me some help with it like @Goldfish has been with my tactical planning? It's a ways away for now, I need to do the Warlock Hunt, but I want to make this hit all the right notes and you're the best person with that side of Viserys that I'm aware of in the quest at this point. It would just be the once, but it would be a massive help.
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Sure. Just bug me a in a PM when the time comes.
 
Snowfire said:
Kitty must be freed!

Realtalk: If Joffery is old enough to have hit the animal torture phase and he's hurt the cat, I'm going to go full bore intent to murder on his hateful ass.
Click to expand...
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Assuming Joffery doesn't end up murdered, what if we kidnapped him?

We basically have free run of the place so the only thing that's preventing us from straight up murdering the entire Usurper's Court is PR and trying to cover the various on death contingencies, so all that's preventing us is a targeted Grested Dispel to knock out any retrieval effects they probably put on him to protect from a kidnapping.

Once we get more information IC it should be fairly obvious that Cersei Lannister is a horrible influence on Joffery and likely a significant influence on his sadistic and sociopathic tendencies, so removing him from that horrible situation and making Robert's heir our hostage/ward is definitely the Goodly thing to do here with absolutely no alternative motivations. The issue is figuring out who to directly care for him while he's our hostage/ward. If Mom had more time in recovery then I'd be inclined to see if she'd be interested, but as it is...

For some reason I'm seeing No Nonsense Vee, Master of Handling The Weird And Difficult, as a solid choice in making him buckle down and make something of himself. Maybe get him an apprenticeship with the Crafter Fey.

Edit: If you can't tell, I've been awake for 16+ hours on 3 hours of sleep.
 
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