Remove ads

NorseQuest (A Norse Xianxia)

Reader mode
I think the ending of Alectai's plan is great, but there's a lot of stuff there which is simply not relevant. Nothing we bring up different lifespans is going to be compelling to Gabriel if this is something he's thought deeply about and carried inside him for what, six or seven years now? Or unknown to him given he's lived amongst the Norse for that length of time and should be well aware of how our ageing is different to his.

I think we need to speak from the heart here. Both because it's the best chance of getting him to listen to us, but also because we're not necessarily going to get a second chance to say this shit to him, and some of it needs to be said.

[X] Plan From the Heart
-[X] "Gabriel, I love you like a brother. I'm sorry I have never been able to give you what you wanted. If I had not already given my heart to Abjorn, then gladly might I have given it to you."
-[X] "But I also love my father as a daughter. The thought of you one of you killing the other fills me with enough dread to break my heart in two."
-[X] "If your heart is set on this, then allow me one favour. When you think you're ready, ask me for a rematch. You won't be ready to face my father until you can beat me first."


Let's be brave, allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and have an real, painful, human conversation.
 
Last edited:
[X] How? I understand why, but do you have a plan? Do you have a hundred years in a bottle? You gonna sell your soul for power? You've seen him fight. You know how wide that gap is. What are you willing to sacrifice to cross it?

I don't think we can talk him down gently. Ideally this scares him off (no it wont), maybe this gets us some useful information.

I'm pretty sure Gabriel doesn't have legal standing in Adger because he doesn't own land, even though he speaks the language. He'll probably qualify for the horse ownership exemption by the time it matters, if I'm remembering how that works correctly.
 
That... feels ways to vulnerable of Halla in this situation, and I don't feel like there relationship progressed to merit that reaction, the romantic undertones especially, and I don't think Halla saw him anything more then a platonic friend, feels really weird to put phrase it like that.
Alectai said:
[X] Plan From the Heart

You know what? Yeah, this is good. This feels better.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Just be advised, your vote kind of dragged everyone who voted for your plan along because they voted with your name instead of the plan. at least if you only use the tally. with no way to know who was okay with this chance and who wasn't.
 
I'm good with this new vote, it still gets the point across without actually allowing him to just blitz to Stennar.
 
seekingflame said:
That... feels ways to vulnerable of Halla in this situation, and I don't feel like there relationship progressed to merit that reaction, the romantic undertones especially, and I don't think Halla saw him anything more then a platonic friend, feels really weird to put phrase it like that.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Halla has known Gabriel for her entire adult life, including him serving an oath to fight by her side, and she was pretty clearly in retrospect the main reason he kept on living in Agder after earning his freedom. I think both clearly cares about the other very deeply. This is a conversation they've been building towards since the sparring match.

Personally, and I don't think I'm alone in this by any means, I think that in a parallel universe where Abjorn did not exist, I could definitely have seen Halla marrying Gabriel. Now, she's saying very clearly in the write-in that her heart belongs to Abjorn and always will, but I think Gabriel deserves to hear how Halla feels about him from her lips. Poor guy's waited seven years.
 
Skippy said:
Snip
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I might have shipped it in an alternative universe, with some asterisks depending on how it will impact their children. but in this one the certainly of 'then I would gladly have given it to you' feels really off to me, more like forlorn lovers then a pair of friends in which one tried to ignore the attraction of the other and the second tried to bury it to keep their friendship. But that a personal gripe, in which I think it does not fit.

The thrust of the plan is fair enough, for trying to do it in a short dramatic method instead of a speech or a bulletpoint, more focus on the existing companionship they have cultivated despite the awkward teenage crush seem better to me, But that your plan to make.
 
seekingflame said:
I might have shipped it in an alternative universe, with some asterisks depending on how it will impact their children. but in this one the certainly of 'then I would gladly have given it to you' feels really off to me, more like forlorn lovers then a pair of friends in which one tried to ignore the attraction of the other and the second tried to bury it to keep their friendship. But that a personal gripe, in which I think it does not fit.

The thrust of the plan is fair enough, for trying to do it in a short dramatic method instead of a speech or a bulletpoint, more focus on the existing companionship they have cultivated despite the awkward teenage crush seem better to me, But that your plan to make.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

This is probably fair, that wording could stand to be toned down a bit.
 
I would drop that part about it, yeah.

Put Gabriel solidly in the brotherzone.

[] Plan From the Heart
-[] "Gabriel, I love you like a brother. I'm sorry I have never been able to give you what you wanted. If I my heart did not belong to Abjorn, then I would gladly have given it to you."
-[] "But I also love my father as a daughter. The thought of you one of you killing the other fills me with enough dread to break my heart in two."
-[] "If your heart is set on this, then allow me one favour. When you think you're ready, ask me for a rematch. You won't be ready to face my father until you can beat me first."

Something like the above.
 
Imperial Fister said:
My man is getting freaking brother-zoned, not even friend-zoned lmao
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Yeah, I strongly considered just having the first line start "Gabriel, I'm sorry I was never able to give you-", but my worry is this might encourage the idea that we're carrying a torch for him whilst married to Abjorn, rather than talking about a what-if?

Honestly I want him to know he's loved, but also be free to move on, find a nice English (or maybe Welsh) girl, get her pregnant, hold his baby in his arms for the first time... and realise in that moment that there is more to life than vengeance. That'd be the best possible thing for Gabriel, and I think a clean break is better for that.

seekingflame said:
I might have shipped it in an alternative universe, with some asterisks depending on how it will impact their children. but in this one the certainly of 'then I would gladly have given it to you' feels really off to me, more like forlorn lovers then a pair of friends in which one tried to ignore the attraction of the other and the second tried to bury it to keep their friendship. But that a personal gripe, in which I think it does not fit.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Fair enough, I get where you're coming from. For what it's worth, not wanting to go too far down the "forlorn lovers" road is a concern I had, which is why I put the uh, brother-zoning at the start.

Ultimately the way I look at this is that Halla has had quite a lot of time to think about this and how she feels by now? Like, this isn't coming completely out of left field, the Steinarr thing caught her by surprise... but Halla has been pre-gaming having The Conversation with Gabriel for months now.

So it makes sense to me that Halla would have already worked out already what she wants to say to him, at least insofar as their relationship goes.

DeadmanwalkingXI said:
This is probably fair, that wording could stand to be toned down a bit.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

You will take my melodrama from my cold, dead hands! :mad: :lol:
 
Shard said:
I would drop that part about it, yeah.

Put Gabriel solidly in the brotherzone.

[] Plan From the Heart
-[] "Gabriel, I love you like a brother. I'm sorry I have never been able to give you what you wanted. If I my heart did not belong to Abjorn, then I would gladly have given it to you."
-[] "But I also love my father as a daughter. The thought of you one of you killing the other fills me with enough dread to break my heart in two."
-[] "If your heart is set on this, then allow me one favour. When you think you're ready, ask me for a rematch. You won't be ready to face my father until you can beat me first."

Something like the above.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Is this more true, though?

Like, I think we want to be honest here, but also like, I think Halla would want to give him a bit of solace if she could. If she did not have feelings for Abjorn, then I think Halla very definitely could have had feelings for Gabriel. Whilst for quite a long time I don't think either she or us quite realised how deeply Gabriel cared, she's had some time to reflect now, and this feels honest to me?

If this is going to be a conversation that Gabriel remembers for the rest of his life, and I think it is g, then I want to know we said something which gave him some comfort, even as it marked the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.

DeadmanwalkingXI said:
I'm not looking for full melodrama removal, maybe 'might' rather than 'would'...'would' feels too definitive.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Hmmm, okay, yeah, that's fair. A bit of uncertainty may more accurately reflect that this is not something either of us have really explored.

I'll amend that now.

I also changed the wording RE: Abjorn from "my heart belonged" to "given my heart", to more accurately reflect that loving Abjorn was a very conscious choice on Halla's part which she undertook with enthusiasm and full comittment.
 
Reader mode
You must login or register to reply here.
Remove ads
Back
Top