Omake: Banned from Argo
- Location
- Maryland
"You know, I've never been banned from a City before."
"Gwyndlyn..."
"I mean, there's a jewelry store back home I'm not allowed within a stone's throw of, but an entire City-State? That's new."
"Don't start."
"You're broadening all of our horizons Brother."
Gawain groaned and shifted the magically conjured bag of ice on his temple. He made a mental note to get something nice for Merlin when he got the chance. Refrigeration runes were awesome.
"If I could look at you without going crosseyed I'd punch you."
"I'm pretty sure that would hurt you more than me."
Argo was a small City-State near the northernmost point of the Minotaur homeland. A common stop for passing merchant vessels, it made a nice profit from trade and was otherwise not particularly notable to anyone but those who called it home...until the HS Gryphus had made landfall.
Gawain Goldenfeather had been returning from Saddle Arabia alongside Merlin and his friend and aide Sebastian, having met with the Sultan to discuss trade and an exchange of knowledge both arcane and mundane in nature, when he had been contacted by his sisters. As it so happened, Gilda and Gwyndlyn had also been returning to the Empire from their own mission to the newly unified Olenia, while Gleaming Pearl was just wrapping up negotiations with the City-State of Stratos regarding an Orichalcum deposit their miners had recently struck upon, the Changeling Rose serving as both spy and bodyguard to her on her journey. When questioned regarding the ensuing events at a later date, none could claim to able to recall who had proposed the idea of meeting up in Argo before returning home together, but regardless of with whom the idea had originated, the decision to do so had been unanimous amongst the siblings.
The world's first airship had caused quite a stir amongst the locals when it had arrived in the skies overhead, arriving shortly before a more traditional sailing vessel from Neighpon and a sky-carriage from further inland. The equally unanimous choice amongst the Prince and Princesses to give their retainers, staff and crew "shore leave" had done little to calm the city, as it's streets were flooded by Griffins, Dogs, Ponies and Qilin who seemed to have made it their mission to consume the entirety of the City's supply of alcohol…a task that they, by all accounts, had very nearly succeeded at.
Gawain had tried to conduct himself in the dignified manner befitting his position, he really had. But at the urging of both his siblings and his friends, he had agreed to "let his head feathers down", ditch his crown, and pass himself off to the unknowing locals as merely one more visiting Imperial citizen, escaping the burdens of his station for just one night alongside his sisters.
He wasn't entirely sure where he'd spent the night, or if he'd slept at all, but he'd come to his senses with half his clothes missing, an empty coin purse, a hangover the size of a mountain, and a very displeased Minotaur government official glaring down at him.
The cold from the ice was now only adding to his migraine, so he dropped the bag on the ground and turned to Gwyndlyn.
"Why are you so damn chipper? I know I saw you drinking last night."
His Draconic sibling smirked.
"Benefits of a draconic metabolism."
Gawain grumbled jealously. His sister was frustratingly sober and looking like she was enjoying the situation more and more as time went on.
"Alright, since you're clearly in a better headspace than I am right now, and are probably more likely to remember what happened last night, help me out and tell me where everyone is. They gave us less than twelve hours to vacate the city."
Gwyndlyn made a big show of assuming a contemplative look, rubbing her chin as she attempted to recall the events of the last twelve hours.
"Well, Rose and Gilda are at the Town Hall-"
"Why in the world are they-"
"Ki Seong is collecting a bounty."
"Since when is Ki a-"
"And Sebastian and Merlin are in the local jailhouse."
"What?!" Gawain winced, the sound of his own raised voice making his head ring.
"What...just...start at the beginning." He rubbed his temples. "Please."
"You remember starting at the Brass Horn right? The bar right next to the docks? I think we went through…shit, at least a dozen rounds of drinks…most of which were of the harder stuff. Sebastian was passing around a flask of something he wouldn't let me go near, said that if I sneezed it might blow up the whole building…"
"Oh crap…" If Sebastian had been passing around some of his personal brew no wonder he couldn't remember last night. He just hoped that this batch wouldn't have any side effects.
"I think Rose got drunk off the atmosphere more than anything else, but Gilda managed to outdrink seven Minotaur marines. Then she left with Rose. Long story short, your airship is now parked on the roof of the Town Hall."
"How?"
"I consider it one of the better outcomes really. I'm pretty sure that if you had tried to land that thing you'd have flattened the entire city."
Gawain closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.
"Ok. Well, that explains why the locals are pissed at us…what about Ki? You said she's apparently a bounty hunter now?"
"A matter of circumstance, really. No one else was left standing after Redhorn surrendered."
"Wait, wait. Redhorn? As in Captain Redhorn? The pirate?"
"Don't forget kidnapper, slaver, psychopath and all-around bad pony."
"He came here. And surrendered."
"I'm surprised you don't remember that one, actually. Or...maybe not. Aren't you wondering where that head wound came from?"
"What head wound?"
The young Dragon wordlessly pulled out a compact mirror (where had she been keeping that?) and handed it over to her hungover sibling. Sure enough, the origin of his headache was a massive bruise on his forehead. A few trickles of dried blood seeped out from the center of the swelling.
Gawain blinked.
"Ok…that explains the headache at least…never did have a hangover this bad before…"
"Redhorn pulled up onto shore with a few of his crew. Said he wanted to 'avoid bloodshed' by offering the locals a chance to surrender their valuables voluntarily. He was standing in the middle of the street, monologuing, and as we were all standing around watching him you just said 'hold my wine' before shoving your drink into my hands and charging him like a rabid manticore. Would've made Mom proud."
"…you are lying to me."
Gwyndlyn adopted an exaggerated expression of dismay, hands clutched over her chest.
"You wound me Brother! You think I would lie about how you headbutted a Unicorn Pirate Captain so hard his horn snapped off? You can ask the locals, everyone saw!"
"I don't even…then what happened?"
"Well the rest of his crew turned tail and ran; Ki decided to get involved, and nothing scatters a crowd of combatants like a living flamethrower. Everyone decided to buy the nameless Griffon who'd saved them more drinks, but Ki heard there was a bounty and decided to collect, since no one else seemed willing or able at the time."
"Well…good for her I guess."
Gawain put the ice bag back on his head, now focusing on his bruise.
"Shall I go ahead and assume that Sebastian and Merlin tore a hole in the fabric of reality while we weren't watching them?"
"Surprisingly, no! Merlin actually started a riot in the Red Light district."
Gawain blinked.
"What."
Gwyndlyn shrugged.
"I know, I was surprised too! I don't really have the whole story but, from what I've heard, he didn't go down there to solicit the usual services, though exactly what he was after is still up in the air. There was apparently a disagreement with either a brothel madam or a member of the city watch-depends on who's telling the story-about the treatment of some of the prostitutes, and then the prostitutes joined in on the disagreement, and things...spiralled out of control."
"How much of it did he burn down?"
"Surprisingly little! And what he did destroy he was kind enough to repair with his magic before turning himself in…though some of the eyewitnesses are probably going to require trauma counseling. I did not know he practiced those kinds of spells."
"What…you know what, I don't want to know. I suppose Sebastian got caught up in that?"
"No, actually he got picked up for public indecency just a few hours ago."
"Well that's…actually the most mundane thing I've heard so far. I mean it's far from ideal but-"
"Along with three Minotaurs, two Griffins, a Diamond Dog, a Crystal Pony and a Qilin."
Gawain stared blankly into the distance for a long minute.
"I could have gone the rest of my life without that mental image."
"He said that I could join too, if I wanted, but I'm not the kind of girl who appreciates an audience when-"
"Cease and desist right now!"
It took Gawain a few moments to recompose himself, glancing back towards his Sister who was now sporting an utterly insufferable smirk.
"…I can't tell if you were being serious and that's very concerning to me."
The Dragon Princess simply shrugged noncommittally.
"He's surprisingly charming when he's inebriated. Maybe it's a confidence thing?"
Gawain resolved to have an aneurysm regarding the implications of that statement later, rubbing his temples and taking another deep breath to steady himself before exhaling warily.
"Was there anything else that I was personally involved in last night? A bar fight perhaps?"
"No, but you did decide to pen a drunken love letter to Isabelle at around two in the morning."
The Crown Prince of the Empire looked for all the world as if he had just been handed a death sentence.
"Please…please tell me I didn't get the chance to actually send it to her."
Gwyndlyn had the decency to look sheepish in the face of her older brother's pleading expression, rubbing the back of her neck nervously.
"Well…remember how I said I'd been practicing that dragonfire message transmission trick I picked up in Neighpon?"
—————————————————————————————
The servants of the Brissette manor had been quite surprised when a mobile puff of smoke had drifted through an open window to materialize into a scroll bearing the Imperial Seal. No strangers to handling correspondence between the lady of the house and a particular member of the Imperial family, the missive had been quietly delivered to the lady Isabelle, who had been delighted to receive correspondence from her fiancé.
They would later discover the young hen passed out in her bedchambers, an incandescent blush coloring her features even as blood dripping from her nose stained the parchment clutched between her talons. Though much of the message penned by the Heir to the Empire had been rendered illegible, the few words that could still be made out were sufficient to make the most jaded and world-weary of chambermaids flush.
—————————————————————————————
Gawain screamed internally, slowly pulling himself to his feet as he stretched his wings, turning his gaze to the horizon for the first time since awakening. And…yep, there was the Gryphus, the massive bulk of its envelope casting a shadow over the city from it's position directly over the City Hall as the sun began to rise.
Though the airship's bulk was dwarfed by a massive crystalline spire that had definitely not been a part of the city's skyline the day before, the morning light glimmering and sparkling off of and through the mass of magically conjured minerals.
Gawain squinted. Actually, now that he looked closer the spire of crystal looked a lot like-
"Oh what the buck!?"
Gwyndlyn glanced in the direction of the massive artistic representation of equine masculine anatomy, grimacing.
"Yeah, that would be the reason why Argo doesn't want us anymore. Gleaming did that."
"…Gleaming."
"Yeah, turns out the downside of being a Princess incognito is that drunk males see no issue hitting on you. Pearl managed to let the first two down easy but there was this one Libertalian stallion we ran into on the street who just wouldn't take no for an answer."
Gawain's shock and confusion quickly turned to anger, but Gwyndlyn was quick to head him off before he could start looking around for something to brain someone with.
"Pearl was about ten shots down at that point and was getting pretty frustrated with him. I was about to set the guy's tail on fire when she finally lost her patience. I can't recall exactly what she said but I think it was something along the lines of 'if I wanted to deal with a gigantic prick I'd'-"
"Stop."
Gawain put his head in his talons.
"Just…stop."
Gawain took one more deep breath before affixing his sister with a steely glare.
"Ok. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to go bail out Merlin and Sebastian, gather up whoever isn't already back aboard the Gryphus, get Gleaming to destroy that...thing...and then we are going to leave this place and never, ever return or speak of this again."
"...Sounds good to me."
The ensuing awkward silence was only allowed to persist for a moment or two before Gwyndlyn's cheerful voice broke it.
"Anyways, congratulations on your first diplomatic incident! Now you really are an ambassador!"
"Gwyndlyn I swear to the Ancestors!"
_______________________________________________________
Me: "Ok, halfway through the next update, I just have to-"
My Muse: "Omake."
Me: "What? No, I'm nearly finished with-"
My Muse: "No update. Only Omake."
But yeah, am almost fished with the next update, but had a random idea that I decided to type up and I figured I'd post it here to hold you guys over.
And for the record, this Omake was inspired by the Leslie Fish song of the same name:
"Gwyndlyn..."
"I mean, there's a jewelry store back home I'm not allowed within a stone's throw of, but an entire City-State? That's new."
"Don't start."
"You're broadening all of our horizons Brother."
Gawain groaned and shifted the magically conjured bag of ice on his temple. He made a mental note to get something nice for Merlin when he got the chance. Refrigeration runes were awesome.
"If I could look at you without going crosseyed I'd punch you."
"I'm pretty sure that would hurt you more than me."
Argo was a small City-State near the northernmost point of the Minotaur homeland. A common stop for passing merchant vessels, it made a nice profit from trade and was otherwise not particularly notable to anyone but those who called it home...until the HS Gryphus had made landfall.
Gawain Goldenfeather had been returning from Saddle Arabia alongside Merlin and his friend and aide Sebastian, having met with the Sultan to discuss trade and an exchange of knowledge both arcane and mundane in nature, when he had been contacted by his sisters. As it so happened, Gilda and Gwyndlyn had also been returning to the Empire from their own mission to the newly unified Olenia, while Gleaming Pearl was just wrapping up negotiations with the City-State of Stratos regarding an Orichalcum deposit their miners had recently struck upon, the Changeling Rose serving as both spy and bodyguard to her on her journey. When questioned regarding the ensuing events at a later date, none could claim to able to recall who had proposed the idea of meeting up in Argo before returning home together, but regardless of with whom the idea had originated, the decision to do so had been unanimous amongst the siblings.
The world's first airship had caused quite a stir amongst the locals when it had arrived in the skies overhead, arriving shortly before a more traditional sailing vessel from Neighpon and a sky-carriage from further inland. The equally unanimous choice amongst the Prince and Princesses to give their retainers, staff and crew "shore leave" had done little to calm the city, as it's streets were flooded by Griffins, Dogs, Ponies and Qilin who seemed to have made it their mission to consume the entirety of the City's supply of alcohol…a task that they, by all accounts, had very nearly succeeded at.
Gawain had tried to conduct himself in the dignified manner befitting his position, he really had. But at the urging of both his siblings and his friends, he had agreed to "let his head feathers down", ditch his crown, and pass himself off to the unknowing locals as merely one more visiting Imperial citizen, escaping the burdens of his station for just one night alongside his sisters.
He wasn't entirely sure where he'd spent the night, or if he'd slept at all, but he'd come to his senses with half his clothes missing, an empty coin purse, a hangover the size of a mountain, and a very displeased Minotaur government official glaring down at him.
The cold from the ice was now only adding to his migraine, so he dropped the bag on the ground and turned to Gwyndlyn.
"Why are you so damn chipper? I know I saw you drinking last night."
His Draconic sibling smirked.
"Benefits of a draconic metabolism."
Gawain grumbled jealously. His sister was frustratingly sober and looking like she was enjoying the situation more and more as time went on.
"Alright, since you're clearly in a better headspace than I am right now, and are probably more likely to remember what happened last night, help me out and tell me where everyone is. They gave us less than twelve hours to vacate the city."
Gwyndlyn made a big show of assuming a contemplative look, rubbing her chin as she attempted to recall the events of the last twelve hours.
"Well, Rose and Gilda are at the Town Hall-"
"Why in the world are they-"
"Ki Seong is collecting a bounty."
"Since when is Ki a-"
"And Sebastian and Merlin are in the local jailhouse."
"What?!" Gawain winced, the sound of his own raised voice making his head ring.
"What...just...start at the beginning." He rubbed his temples. "Please."
"You remember starting at the Brass Horn right? The bar right next to the docks? I think we went through…shit, at least a dozen rounds of drinks…most of which were of the harder stuff. Sebastian was passing around a flask of something he wouldn't let me go near, said that if I sneezed it might blow up the whole building…"
"Oh crap…" If Sebastian had been passing around some of his personal brew no wonder he couldn't remember last night. He just hoped that this batch wouldn't have any side effects.
"I think Rose got drunk off the atmosphere more than anything else, but Gilda managed to outdrink seven Minotaur marines. Then she left with Rose. Long story short, your airship is now parked on the roof of the Town Hall."
"How?"
"I consider it one of the better outcomes really. I'm pretty sure that if you had tried to land that thing you'd have flattened the entire city."
Gawain closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.
"Ok. Well, that explains why the locals are pissed at us…what about Ki? You said she's apparently a bounty hunter now?"
"A matter of circumstance, really. No one else was left standing after Redhorn surrendered."
"Wait, wait. Redhorn? As in Captain Redhorn? The pirate?"
"Don't forget kidnapper, slaver, psychopath and all-around bad pony."
"He came here. And surrendered."
"I'm surprised you don't remember that one, actually. Or...maybe not. Aren't you wondering where that head wound came from?"
"What head wound?"
The young Dragon wordlessly pulled out a compact mirror (where had she been keeping that?) and handed it over to her hungover sibling. Sure enough, the origin of his headache was a massive bruise on his forehead. A few trickles of dried blood seeped out from the center of the swelling.
Gawain blinked.
"Ok…that explains the headache at least…never did have a hangover this bad before…"
"Redhorn pulled up onto shore with a few of his crew. Said he wanted to 'avoid bloodshed' by offering the locals a chance to surrender their valuables voluntarily. He was standing in the middle of the street, monologuing, and as we were all standing around watching him you just said 'hold my wine' before shoving your drink into my hands and charging him like a rabid manticore. Would've made Mom proud."
"…you are lying to me."
Gwyndlyn adopted an exaggerated expression of dismay, hands clutched over her chest.
"You wound me Brother! You think I would lie about how you headbutted a Unicorn Pirate Captain so hard his horn snapped off? You can ask the locals, everyone saw!"
"I don't even…then what happened?"
"Well the rest of his crew turned tail and ran; Ki decided to get involved, and nothing scatters a crowd of combatants like a living flamethrower. Everyone decided to buy the nameless Griffon who'd saved them more drinks, but Ki heard there was a bounty and decided to collect, since no one else seemed willing or able at the time."
"Well…good for her I guess."
Gawain put the ice bag back on his head, now focusing on his bruise.
"Shall I go ahead and assume that Sebastian and Merlin tore a hole in the fabric of reality while we weren't watching them?"
"Surprisingly, no! Merlin actually started a riot in the Red Light district."
Gawain blinked.
"What."
Gwyndlyn shrugged.
"I know, I was surprised too! I don't really have the whole story but, from what I've heard, he didn't go down there to solicit the usual services, though exactly what he was after is still up in the air. There was apparently a disagreement with either a brothel madam or a member of the city watch-depends on who's telling the story-about the treatment of some of the prostitutes, and then the prostitutes joined in on the disagreement, and things...spiralled out of control."
"How much of it did he burn down?"
"Surprisingly little! And what he did destroy he was kind enough to repair with his magic before turning himself in…though some of the eyewitnesses are probably going to require trauma counseling. I did not know he practiced those kinds of spells."
"What…you know what, I don't want to know. I suppose Sebastian got caught up in that?"
"No, actually he got picked up for public indecency just a few hours ago."
"Well that's…actually the most mundane thing I've heard so far. I mean it's far from ideal but-"
"Along with three Minotaurs, two Griffins, a Diamond Dog, a Crystal Pony and a Qilin."
Gawain stared blankly into the distance for a long minute.
"I could have gone the rest of my life without that mental image."
"He said that I could join too, if I wanted, but I'm not the kind of girl who appreciates an audience when-"
"Cease and desist right now!"
It took Gawain a few moments to recompose himself, glancing back towards his Sister who was now sporting an utterly insufferable smirk.
"…I can't tell if you were being serious and that's very concerning to me."
The Dragon Princess simply shrugged noncommittally.
"He's surprisingly charming when he's inebriated. Maybe it's a confidence thing?"
Gawain resolved to have an aneurysm regarding the implications of that statement later, rubbing his temples and taking another deep breath to steady himself before exhaling warily.
"Was there anything else that I was personally involved in last night? A bar fight perhaps?"
"No, but you did decide to pen a drunken love letter to Isabelle at around two in the morning."
The Crown Prince of the Empire looked for all the world as if he had just been handed a death sentence.
"Please…please tell me I didn't get the chance to actually send it to her."
Gwyndlyn had the decency to look sheepish in the face of her older brother's pleading expression, rubbing the back of her neck nervously.
"Well…remember how I said I'd been practicing that dragonfire message transmission trick I picked up in Neighpon?"
—————————————————————————————
The servants of the Brissette manor had been quite surprised when a mobile puff of smoke had drifted through an open window to materialize into a scroll bearing the Imperial Seal. No strangers to handling correspondence between the lady of the house and a particular member of the Imperial family, the missive had been quietly delivered to the lady Isabelle, who had been delighted to receive correspondence from her fiancé.
They would later discover the young hen passed out in her bedchambers, an incandescent blush coloring her features even as blood dripping from her nose stained the parchment clutched between her talons. Though much of the message penned by the Heir to the Empire had been rendered illegible, the few words that could still be made out were sufficient to make the most jaded and world-weary of chambermaids flush.
—————————————————————————————
Gawain screamed internally, slowly pulling himself to his feet as he stretched his wings, turning his gaze to the horizon for the first time since awakening. And…yep, there was the Gryphus, the massive bulk of its envelope casting a shadow over the city from it's position directly over the City Hall as the sun began to rise.
Though the airship's bulk was dwarfed by a massive crystalline spire that had definitely not been a part of the city's skyline the day before, the morning light glimmering and sparkling off of and through the mass of magically conjured minerals.
Gawain squinted. Actually, now that he looked closer the spire of crystal looked a lot like-
"Oh what the buck!?"
Gwyndlyn glanced in the direction of the massive artistic representation of equine masculine anatomy, grimacing.
"Yeah, that would be the reason why Argo doesn't want us anymore. Gleaming did that."
"…Gleaming."
"Yeah, turns out the downside of being a Princess incognito is that drunk males see no issue hitting on you. Pearl managed to let the first two down easy but there was this one Libertalian stallion we ran into on the street who just wouldn't take no for an answer."
Gawain's shock and confusion quickly turned to anger, but Gwyndlyn was quick to head him off before he could start looking around for something to brain someone with.
"Pearl was about ten shots down at that point and was getting pretty frustrated with him. I was about to set the guy's tail on fire when she finally lost her patience. I can't recall exactly what she said but I think it was something along the lines of 'if I wanted to deal with a gigantic prick I'd'-"
"Stop."
Gawain put his head in his talons.
"Just…stop."
Gawain took one more deep breath before affixing his sister with a steely glare.
"Ok. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to go bail out Merlin and Sebastian, gather up whoever isn't already back aboard the Gryphus, get Gleaming to destroy that...thing...and then we are going to leave this place and never, ever return or speak of this again."
"...Sounds good to me."
The ensuing awkward silence was only allowed to persist for a moment or two before Gwyndlyn's cheerful voice broke it.
"Anyways, congratulations on your first diplomatic incident! Now you really are an ambassador!"
"Gwyndlyn I swear to the Ancestors!"
_______________________________________________________
Me: "Ok, halfway through the next update, I just have to-"
My Muse: "Omake."
Me: "What? No, I'm nearly finished with-"
My Muse: "No update. Only Omake."
But yeah, am almost fished with the next update, but had a random idea that I decided to type up and I figured I'd post it here to hold you guys over.
And for the record, this Omake was inspired by the Leslie Fish song of the same name:
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